


It's Always Been You

by aaronshotchniss



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 95
Words: 536,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26617855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaronshotchniss/pseuds/aaronshotchniss
Summary: Emily and Hotch are re-connected once she starts at the BAU after having not seen him since he worked for her mother when she was younger. Over time, while his marriage is falling apart and she is getting used to her new job there, they grow closer and struggle with figuring out how to be with each other. As their relationship progresses, they run into obstacles but always pull through in the end. Cute family and friends content included. Story has parts inside and outside of work at the BAU. Lots of smut later on included in this story, fair warning.Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or original storylines of this show. All characters have been altered so they are not all exactly the same otherwise there would be no story but a lot of it is supposed to be very similar to the actual character. Storylines from the show have either not been included in this, altered, or only parts included. Other than that, there are original ideas and plots in it.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 89
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**-Chapter 1-**

* * *

Emily felt out of place. Although she’d finally convinced Agent Hotchner to let her join the team at the BAU, he was still cold towards her. It was odd because when she first walked into his office the other day, he’d been so kind and extremely polite. He even remembered her being Ambassador Prentiss’ daughter when she said her name. He even smiled. 

She hadn’t known any different at the time, seeing as how she wasn’t the one working with him before and he hadn’t acted much different or didn’t seem like it at least. 

She’d known him before, not too well, but she’d known him. This time, she was just trying to figure out where her desk was to set down the box she was holding filled with some of her belongings in. And he remembered her too... quite well.

Seeing as how he was so confused as to why she was there, her nerves got the best of her. His demeanor immediately changed towards her once she told him that she was there to start a new job. She couldn’t believe that he just said there must’ve been a mixup with paperwork, thanked her for her interest, and walked away. She couldn’t just let that be. She knew she had to fight for what she deserved. So she came back after a case was over that they were on. 

Sitting in his office waiting for him to return, she became almost scared. Not knowing what was about to happen when he walked through the door. 

Although she grew impatient the past few days waiting to get to talk to him, it gave her time to think of what she was going to say to him. She knew she was prepared to defend herself, she just had to keep reminding herself of that. 

Now lost in her thoughts, she wasn’t aware of the footsteps approaching until the door opened. 

Hotch walked into his expectedly dark office carrying his briefcase in one hand. But a lamp was on, making it dimmed but not black. He knew he didn’t leave the light on and almost reached for the gun still on his holster but then turned his head and saw Emily Prentiss sitting on the couch. She immediately sat up, with a look of fear and determination in her eyes. He understood that look. 

There was something about her... he couldn’t quite place it but something made him not look forward to this conversation they were about to have but was also glad to see her again. He didn’t know why. Although these mixed emotions flowed through him, he was still dreading what he know was about to come out of her mouth. 

He was so exhausted from the case and flight. All he wanted to do was go home after he finished writing up the report but now he had something else to deal with first.

“Agent Prentiss. Don’t tell me you’ve been waiting here for four days.”, he said, no amusement in his voice.

“No sir, I heard you were returning tonight. I’ve only been here about a half hour.”, she replied, hands shaking a bit, heart pumping fast.

He started walking over to his desk, saying, “Listen I know what you’re going to say and I appreciate your interest in joining the bureau. But you can’t just walk in here and ask for the job. I’m sorry but you’ll have to apply just like everyone else.”, as the words came out of his mouth, he felt guilty. 

He didn’t mean to make her feel bad and almost apologized but didn’t quite have the energy to and knew he probably wouldn’t see her again anyways. 

He sat his briefcase down and took a breath, hands on his hips. 

She walked over to his desk, opposite side from him. “With all due respect, sir, I think you may be mistaken. There wasn’t any mixup with paperwork. I did apply and was supposed to start on Monday.”, she said, handing over some paperwork to him. 

He reached one hand hand for it and kept the other on his hip. He looked them over, growing more and more confused. Seeing this confirmation that she was to be a part of their team now, excited him mildly but also made him feel uneasy. He’d been rude to her and it wasn’t like him to disrespect anyone especially in the professional field. 

“Alright, I see that now, I apologize. Although I am impressed with the work you’ve done for the FBI already, you have no experience in profiling or behavioral analysis in general. I don’t see how this would be a good fit for you. Your skills may be put to better use in another field.”, he handed the papers back to her and bent over just a bit to grab his own paperwork out from his brief case, not quite sitting down yet. 

Not ready to give up, Emily decided she needed to prove herself. She set her papers down and started to speak, “The family murders in D.C. They all happen on a Friday night. All of them are a family of four. Mother, father, daughter, and son, both under 10 years old. He’s a family annihilator. First, he goes to the kids rooms and kills them, leaves them with their arms crossed and tucked in their beds. That shows signs of remorse. He’s somehow able to do all this without waking the parents who would normally pose as the greatest threats. So he probably has experience with this already, meaning there’s more victims than we already know about. Then he somehow subdues the parents and brings them into the children’s room to show them what he’d done and kills them right there in their room. Now, that says that he wants them to suffer the loss of their children because he takes their lives before the parents. Probably because he lost his own children at the hands of someone else and wants other parents to feel the same loss he experienced. He’s sadistic in the way he kills and probably feeds on that. He’s got a lot of anger but probably a lot of sadness built up too.”

Hotch looked puzzled but he wouldn’t let her know he was impressed at her profile so far. 

“How would you proceed in narrowing down the search?”, he asked, now crossing his arms in front of him, analyzing her body language and other behaviors and expressions. 

“Uh- well, I would try and find a list of men in their late 30’s who have suffered the loss of 2 children under the ages of 10, now divorced or widowed, then cross check that with the event happening on a Friday night around this time of year. Try and think of a potential trigger. And go over it with the team about why now and why does he choose these families. Take it from there...”, she paused waiting for a response from him as he stayed looking at her with now one arm crossed at his chest and the other elbow resting on his arm with his hand on his chin and head slightly faced down to look at her. 

He seemed to be thinking, concentrating, processing all this. 

She could barely stay still with her hands together in front of her as she was waiting for a response from him still, her eyes wide.

“Alright. You can take the empty desk down there, next to Agent Morgan’s. It’s the only empty one. You can start tomorrow. Be here by 9:00 am and we’ll go over everything else then. It’s late and you should get some rest. I know I could use a bit of that.” he sighed.

“Thank you so much sir, really, I will not let you down!”, she perked up.

He couldn’t help but show a small smile, suddenly feeling a bit more confident in the choice he had just made. And her excitement had some sort of effect on him, he couldn’t quite explain but never having felt it before, it definitely wasn’t bad.

She stood there for a minute as they just looked at each other. Suddenly, she felt butterflies and couldn’t help but catch a sparkle in his eyes and began noticing his perfectly chiseled jawline and his dark eyes so intense as he stared into hers. She thought the way that his short hair had flopped to the side a little bit, slightly messy and out of place was kind of cute and made her want to walk over and fix it. Smiling back at him and holding his gaze, she realized what was happening and quickly snapped out of it. 

She dropped her hands to her side and looked down quickly as he did the same and back up to refresh her mind. 

“I’ll uh- see you tomorrow.”, she said, now heading for the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned around to look at him again. Feeling a sense of calm and peace this time, she said, “Thank you again sir.”, pausing for a moment and then gave him a slight smile when he replied with a half nod and one of the corners of his mouth turned up a little bit. 

As she turned back around and walked out, he couldn’t help but his eyes linger after her walking down the steps and eventually the hall to the elevator. 

Bringing his eyes back to in front of him in his office, he stared straight ahead and closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair. He had to redirect his thoughts. He felt a twinge of guilt creep up. What was he doing? What had just happened? He all of a sudden, couldn’t get her out of his mind. It had been so long since he had seen her and he remembered the last time he had, he couldn’t get her out of his mind then either.

Taking in a deep breath through his nose and out his mouth, he opened his eyes and sat down in his chair. He rested his hands on his desk and pulled himself closer and began writing the report, trying to keep himself focused on it and not let his mind wander elsewhere. He had to finish his work so he could get back to his wife and son at home. 

Emily was riding down in the elevator and for once, felt her heart rate come back down to normal for the first time in days. Yet there was a strange feeling in her stomach and she all of a sudden, noticed she was smiling. She dropped her head down, almost embarrassed even though she was alone. She couldn’t tell why. 

Without trying to question it too much, her mind immediately went to Agent Hotchner. She wondered what made him change his mind about her so quickly. Why she felt warm inside when their eyes met and kept contact for what seemed like forever but not in a bad way. Why it felt so nice. 

She noticed what was happening and she couldn’t allow herself to get to that point. He was her new boss. She couldn’t let herself pine after a married man with a baby who was in charge of the unit she was now a part of at the FBI. No, she had to shut it down, she told herself. 

Once she got to ground level and the elevator dinged, she got off and walked out of the doors to the parking lot and got in her car. 

She sat there for a moment and looked back at the building wondering, _when does he go home? Does he just live here? How does he have time to be a family man when this job is his life? He’s been married for a long time so he must be able to make it work._

She found herself impressed and oddly enough, jealous of his wife. The fact that she got probably one of the last decent men out there. 

She noticed she was thinking about him again and shook her head as she put the keys in the ignition, started the car and drove off. Thinking about him some more as she drove home, knowing full well she wouldn’t get much sleep that night, nervous enough about starting a new job tomorrow, now she had to keep herself focused on work and not him. 

Little did she know, he was thinking the exact same thing.

  
  



	2. First Day

**-Chapter 2-**

* * *

Emily spent the night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep for hours. She kept thinking about her first day at work coming up the next morning. Starting somewhere new where everyone already has a good relationship and built trust with each other over the years. 

The only person she knew so far was Hotch. Sure, she’d have a chance to get to know the others but she tended to be shy sometimes when working where she’s starting somewhere new. 

She was used to being able to hide her true identity when working undercover when she was at Interpol. There, she was a different person. She didn’t have to worry about trying to figure out who she was. She had an identity created for her and followed that. It was much easier for her to transform into Lauren Reynolds and stick to that. But being her true self, Emily Prentiss, meant being vulnerable and she wasn’t always alright with that. 

These endless thoughts and worries spun around in her mind all night until she looked at the alarm clock on her night table, seeing that it was already 3:30 am. 

She knew she had to get some sleep so she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She opened her medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Xanax that she had been prescribed months ago after having anxiety from a case she worked on a while ago and hadn’t dealt with yet. 

Ian Doyle still haunted her dreams from time to time. He never hurt her but the position she had to put herself in to get his profile and the things she saw while on that case were enough to effect her and never leave her mind. It changed who she was. She hated that he was still able to have control over her even though he was gone, put away in prison. 

These thoughts came rushing back to her when she stared at the bottle. Now wanting to forget about that too, she opened it up and took one pill. She put the bottle back in the cabinet and closed it, turning off the light. She walked back over to her bed and picked up her glass of water and swallowed the small pill with a big gulp. 

As she pulled the sheets back and laid down, she felt a wave of exhaustion finally come over her and eventually drifted off to sleep. 

Hours later, she awoke to her loud alarm. It was 7:30 am. She still felt groggy and wished she could go back to sleep and almost did until she realized she had to get ready for her first day at the BAU. 

After going downstairs to start a pot of coffee and eat some breakfast, she went back up to shower and get dressed. Once she had finished her hair and makeup, she went to her closet and decided to go with the black pant suit she had hanging. She slipped that on along with some black boots to match. 

She grabbed her bag and headed downstairs. 

On her way out, she stopped in front of the door to look in the mirror. After checking her appearance, she felt content with how she looked. She was going to see Agent Hotchner and wanted to look presentable. _For professional reasons, of course_ , she told herself. She couldn’t admit that there may be another reason why. She walked to her car and drove to work. 

When she arrived in the parking lot, she noticed her hands were shaking again and heart pumping. She took a second to gather herself before she got out and walked into the BAU headquarters. 

When the elevator arrived to the right floor, she stepped off and walked to her new desk, setting her bag down on the chair. Looking around, she realized no one else was there yet. It was 8:45 so maybe she was just early she thought. She stared up into Hotch’s office and saw him sitting at his desk writing. 

Emily walked up and knocked on his door even though it was already open.

“Come on in.”, he said without looking up. 

She stepped into his office and walked over to his desk, stopping behind the chairs that sat right in front. 

“Good morning, sir.”, she started. He then looked up at her once he heard her voice, startled almost. “I got all my things set up on my desk. I was wondering if there was anything we needed to go over before I got started for the day? I see I’m the first one here...”, she said as she looked out his office to the empty bullpen and back at him.

“Oh, great. Um, yes of course, have a seat.”, he motioned his head towards a chair in front of her.

She pulled one out and sat down. He looked down at the papers he was writing and finished up a sentence on it before setting his pen down. He looked back up at her, interlacing his fingers in front of him on the desk. He gave her his full attention. 

“I appreciate you showing up a bit early. Typically the rest of the agents don’t come in till about 9:00 but I guess this gives us a little time to go over some job requirements and give you an introduction.”, he said.

“Alright. What should I know?”, she asked.

“Well, I guess there’s not too much to go over until you actually start on a case. I’ll partner you up with Agent Morgan. Derek is one of our best, he’s a great asset to the team and my guess, will be one of the friendliest at first.”, he lightly chuckled, looking down for a second and back up, with a blank look on his face again. It was nice to see him warming up to her. 

She knew he had a reputation for being very serious all the time and showing little to no emotion. The encounters she’s had with him so far have definitely shown that _and_ the opposite. From the time that she had known him though, he was always very kind, in fact, he was always especially kind to her. She had hoped she would see at least some of that same soft side of him and so far, it was looking good. 

“Sounds great. I’m really looking forward to meeting everybody and getting started. I guess I should expect to not be welcomed by the whole team quite yet but...”, she trailed off.

“ _But_ they will be polite and warm up to you. They’re professional. It’s just a change they’ll have to get used to, they had grown to be close with our previous agent that was in your spot and it’s all just new. Don’t worry, you’ll fit in in no time; you’ll do great.”, he said with a small smile and stared in her eyes, seeming sincere.

“Thank you sir, I know sometimes I just-“, she started before he cut her off.

He held his hand up, “Please, everybody just calls me, “ _Hotch_ ”. I wouldn’t expect any different from you.”, he told her with another slight smile.

“That’s going to take some getting used to. I’ve really only known you professionally for what, less than a week?”, she looked down briefly, looking back up she noticed he was staring straight at her with a soft look on his face. She returned the gaze and showed her dimples, raising the corners of her mouth just a hint. 

There was a moment of silence before he said, “Don’t feel weird about it, I told you, everybody calls me that and besides, I’ve technically known you the longest out of all of the them. I worked with your mom a long time ago, as I’m sure you remember. We talked.”

“Well, sure but like you said, that was _a long time ago_. I’m surprised you even remembered. I tried to keep my distance from being around her too much and her work even though I lived there. My mother can kind of drive me and I guess everyone around her, a little crazy at times.”, she laughed, showing her perfectly straight teeth with a big smile.

He returned that with the same, following up saying, not so shyly, “Well I guess that’s true. But it would be kind of hard to forget you.”, realizing what he had just said, his expression dropped suddenly. He had to think of something to say quick, he wished he could take that back. The words had just slipped out. Did he really mean them? 

Panicking for a moment but trying not to show it, his mouth opened and he looked down and to the side before looking back at her. Her smile had completely washed away and she just stared at him, not confused, not blushing or flattered, but almost scared and nervous. 

The color had completely drained from her face and her shoulders had lifted up just the tiniest bit, seeming somewhat uncomfortable by what he had said. She definitely heard it and didn’t dismiss it. 

He finally managed to get some words out.

“I meant more that it’s hard to forget anyone like Elizabeth Prentiss and that whole experience. Besides I am a special agent with the FBI. I have a good memory, pretty observant. Not to brag or anything.”, realizing he was now rambling and suddenly felt heat rise to his cheeks, not wanting to blush or make it obvious how nervous he was, he decided to slow down. 

Now that he had gathered himself and had a stern look on his face again, color back to normal, he said in a more serious tone, “I’m sorry Agent Prentiss, I didn’t mean to-“, she stopped him; now she was interrupting _him_. She leaned back in her chair more with an obvious, yet sneaky smirk on her face, still trying to stay professional but lightening the situation a little more. 

“Please, everybody just calls me, “Emily”...”, her eyes lingered on and locked with his. She was copying what he’d just said, teasing him, it seemed. He didn’t know whether to stay silent or show any amusement. He stayed silent. 

She didn’t want to make him too uncomfortable, she could tell he realized what he said wasn’t right but probably meant it. So she decided to lighten the mood by saying that and continued, “And... don’t feel weird about it.”, her smirk disappeared as her face grew more calm and her eyes still keeping contact with his, they sat there in silence for a moment. 

_Did that really just happen? What did she mean? Was she saying to not feel weird about calling her Emily or don’t feel weird about what I said?_ He wondered.

All these thoughts were running through his mind but he somehow maintained to stare back in her eyes, feeling connected in a whole other way he never felt before. It almost scared him. _What was happening?_

He saw a sparkle in her eye and that made the corner of his lip turn up just a little bit. She noticed this, causing both corners of her mouth to turn up. 

She could tell he felt a bit shy now and it was beginning to rub off on her but she kind of liked that she was able to do that to him. That she was able to have such an effect on him like that. 

For a moment that felt like it had lasted forever but not long enough, was interrupted by the sounds of people getting off the elevator, walking into the bullpen and setting things on their desk. She could hear them talking and laughing with each other and for a second she didn’t care about that because this moment felt too nice to waste. But she knew she had to and so did he when their concentration on each other broke and looked out the window of his office to see the rest getting set up for the day at their desks. 

They looked back at each other as she put her head down and let out a breathy laugh and then a quiet sigh. He stood up as she did the same, using her hands on the arms of her chair to lift herself up and he started walking over towards her as she lifted her head back. 

He stopped next to her but kept a close distance. Trying not to look at her too much or too long, he said, “Follow me, I’ll come introduce you to the rest of the team.” Starting out the door in front of her, she followed behind. 

Normally he would let her go first, that’s what he was taught his whole life, _ladies first_ , but he figured in this case, it’d be best to go in front when introducing her, she didn’t know the place yet either and couldn’t exactly lead.

The events that had just occurred in his office, still in fresh in both their minds, kept intensifying but they knew they had to push it aside for the time being. 

Once they had walked down the steps and over to everyone’s desk, Hotch motioned his hand towards Emily who was standing next to and slightly behind him and he didn’t mind. He almost felt like he was protecting her. “Everyone, this is our new agent, Emily Prentiss. I want you all to be nice.”, he warned them, as he gave them a stern look and raised an eyebrow, half joking. 

“Morgan, you’ll be partnered up with her, I expect you to be _completely_... professional.”, he said, raising another eyebrow as Derek chuckled. Emily was somewhat shy at first but then eventually stepped forward and started shaking everyone’s hand when Hotch started introducing her to each member. 

Hotch began, “Emily, this is Jennifer Jareau...”. 

“Oh just JJ is fine.”, JJ said with a big grin and shook Emily’s hand. 

Hotch continued, “Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst, Agent Gideon, and Dr. Spencer Reid.” 

While they all shook hands, they exchanged friendly “ _hello’s_ ” and “ _nice to meet_ _you’s_ ”, along with a couple smiles but not from Gideon just yet. 

Spencer seemed hesitant but not exactly unfriendly. He didn’t shake her hand, instead, he just waved and started rambling on about germs and she stopped paying attention until he mentioned, “I’m also an agent but I have 3 PhD’s so I typically go by Dr. but just Reid is fine. We’re all pretty casual with each other.”, he said, thinning his lips and bringing them up into an awkward, almost seemingly uncomfortable smile. 

Emily said before looking back at Hotch, “It’s so great to meet you all. I’m really looking forward to starting here and being a part of the team.” 

JJ’s phone rang all of a sudden as she stepped aside, Hotch ignoring it, too focused on Emily, he caught on to the fact that they were all done with their introductions as everyone had gone back to setting up for work. 

Emily looked over at Hotch and he was already looking at her. Her stomach got butterflies and before she could think of anything to say, he did. “I actually do have some paperwork for you to fill out, if you wouldn’t mind...”, he said hesitantly. 

“Sure, of course.”, she replied, following him back to his office, a bit of nerves creeping up for both of them. 

They walked in and she sat down in the same chair as before while he walked over to his own on the other side of his desk and pulled some paperwork out. She sat there waiting impatiently while he looked through the pages for her to go over. 

He found it and slid them over across the desk and told her where to sign and fill stuff out. She asked for a pen and he gave her his he was using. It was still warm from him using it, now her palms were sweaty. She looked up at him and he had already pulled out a new pen and started doing his own work. 

She began and paused after a minute. There was a section that she had to fill out about her work history at Interpol, about cases, missions, assignments she had worked. Ian Doyle came to mind and she started feeling anxious just thinking about it. 

She wished she had a xanax with her. Her hand started shaking mildly and she could feel tears starting in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see her like this. She looked up and over to the side. Trying to take in as quiet and shallow of breaths as possible but she sniffled and that seemed to catch his attention. 

He raised his head and one eyebrow, looking at her head now down and her fingers pinched the top of her nose connecting to her forehead. She noticed he was looking at her and this is exactly what she didn’t want, for him to witness this. He was probably so confused as to what was happening but it’s not like she could just tell him. She wasn’t allowed to. That would involve revealing _classified_ information. 

Once they saw each other looking at the other, he said, “Emily...? Are you alright...?”, concern in his voice. It took her a minute to get any words out, trying not to let any tears out because she knew at a certain point, if she tried to speak, it would all come pouring out. 

She closed her eyes, feeling one drop run down her face, wiping it away immediately. She then opened her eyes and looked up briefly and back down to normal eye level. 

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m- I’m sorry. Completely unprofessional of me. I don’t know what came over me.”, she sniffled. Hotch had been a profiler for a while and he could tell those were not ‘ _nothing_ ’ tears; not at all. Those were _‘I’m feeling true pain right now but trying to cover it up’ tears_ , but she wouldn’t admit it.

“Emily...?”, he started again, now lowering his eyebrow and plastering a concerned look on his face. “I realize it’s your first day and you may not be able to trust everyone yet but you can trust me, I’m your boss. I’m always here when my team is struggling. Even from day one. It’s alright.” 

Still not able to speak, she nodded and propped her hands up on his desk and cupped one around the other and put her head down. She could feel it building up and her body shaking slightly. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Everything was going so well, and now this. 

Hotch didn’t like seeing her like this. He stood up and went over to the door and closed it, after that, he closed the blinds. His intentions were completely innocent. He just thought she needed privacy. 

He walked over to the chair next to her and scooted it around to face her and sat down in it. Leaning over and crossing his hands in one another in between his legs, he looked at her and cocked his head to the side. 

“Emily. Please say something. Where did you go just now?”, he said in a calm voice. He so badly wanted to place his hand on hers or put his hand on her back just to comfort her but he knew he couldn’t. 

She slowly brought her head back up along with her hands and rested her chin on them, elbows on the desk and hands still clasped around each other. She turned her head to look at him, a couple tears had fallen down her cheek but hadn’t messed up her makeup surprisingly. 

Before she could bring her hand to her face to wipe them away, Hotch was already handing her a box of tissues. 

“Thanks.”, she almost mouthed, so quiet, he could barely hear it. He half nodded and continued to stare at her. She gratefully accepted it, and pulled one tissue out, blotted the tears away, and all Hotch could think was how he wished he could be the one doing that for her. Taking care of her was all he felt like doing in this moment. 

She was looking down again until she brought her hand down and settled both in her lap, still holding the tissue. 

She finally looked back up at him, noticing his eyes were waiting for hers. Had he been staring at her the whole time? She suddenly became very aware of how close he was sitting to her, not that she minded but she was just surprised. 

She decided to try speaking again. “Hotch, listen... I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just felt this-“, she tried to continue but felt tears coming on again and stopped and rolled her lips in, trying to cover it up and hold it in, bringing her hands back up the desk again in the same position. Her body now facing him, she tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling, trying hold tears back. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out his hand and covered Emily’s with it. His cold hand startled her and sent chills down her spine but it felt somewhat of a comforting sensation. She closed her eyes and lowered her head back to normal level and looked him in the eyes. She stared right back into his, deep just like his were. 

Now that he had her attention and she hadn’t bothered to pull away, he felt comfortable enough to say, “Emily, I know it’s hard, whatever just happened right now. I get it. I really do. But I need you to be honest with me. We put our lives on the line for each other here. We need to build that trust eventually. It seems like there’s definitely something on your mind. Let’s just start there. Okay?”, his soft voice calmed her even more now. 

She looked at their hands touching. She wanted to take one of hers and wrap it over his but decided not to go there, at least not right now. She didn’t want to ruin this moment by risking it. She felt so close to him. It was almost an instant connection they’d had since she walked in the first time. Sure she’d known him before when he worked with her mother but, once again, not too well. She always watched him and admired him but she didn’t think he remembered her. Apparently she was wrong. 

She looked around the office, only now noticing the door was closed and blinds were shut. She was shocked he’d done that. 

_Was that really allowed? Why did he really do that?_ She wondered.

She was too afraid to make eye contact when she had to say, “Hotch, I respect you and everything you stand for; I really do. I want to be able to open up but I can’t about this.”, now turning back to him. “I appreciate your concern but this issue I have going on right now isn’t even an issue anymore really. It’s pointless, trust me. You don’t need to be a part of this.”, she tried so hard to sound convincing. 

“This is effecting your ability to _fill out paperwork_ on, what, work history? I can’t just ignore that. Did something happen on an assignment? Did this trigger you? You were at Interpol, right?”, he asked. She nodded. “So what was it? I know there are some intense cases you get handed there...” 

“I’m telling you right now, I am fine. I will be fine. I can do this job. This does not effect my ability to perform the duties and tasks of my position here. I belong here and I can thrive here. Now please, let it go. I can’t have you or anyone be a part of this. It’s done, it’s over. I had a moment, and that is done and over with too. Please.”, she begged, turning her head to the side. 

He then realized that his hand had grasped hers a bit tighter now. And as he did, he focused on her soft skin and fast pulse, slowing down now as she collected herself. She had noticed this but didn’t bother to say anything about it. He had to accept she wasn’t going to open up. Not yet at least. 

“Alright. But just know, I’m always here and...”, he sighed and looked down for a moment and back up at her. “Listen, I’m not trying to profile you, alright? But it’s not hard to tell that something _seriously_ triggered you and upset you. What? I don’t know. And that’s fine, you don’t have to tell me but just know that you can. And that goes for anything that ever comes up. Anything at all.”

“Thank you...”, she said softly.

“Of course. I care about my team and when one of us is hurting, we all jump in.”, he said, giving her hand another squeeze. “And about earlier... I-“, as he started, she felt something inside her leap and she became nervous about what he was going to say, her eyes widening a bit, when all of a sudden there was a knock at the door. 

They pulled apart instantly. He stood up and went to get the door while Emily tried to wipe away any other tears that may have dropped but couldn’t tell how she looked so she tried to cover her face as much as possible without being too obvious. She picked up the pen again and pretended to fill out the paperwork more as Hotch opened the door. 

JJ was standing there with 6 case files in her hand. “Sorry to interrupt but we got a case. Meeting in the conference room right now.”, she said rushed.

“Alright, thanks JJ. We’ll be in in just a minute.”, Hotch replied.

JJ walked away leaving the door open and Hotch didn’t bother to close it either. Emily stood up and straightened out the wrinkles in her pantsuit. They both took a moment to take in a breath and looked at each other. 

“Are you feeling any better? Up for your first case?”, he asked slightly worried.

“Absolutely.”, she said with a forced smile. 

“Great, I’ll see you in there in just a minute.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she replied. She started to walk out the door and stopped to turn around. “Thank you...”, now genuinely smiling.

He looked up, “Anytime, really.”

They exchanged looks and she turned to walk out the door and go over her first case. She’d never been talked down during an episode like that before and it felt nice. She couldn’t help but grin as she walked in the conference room and took a seat, suddenly feeling off without Hotch by her side already.

Hotch, about to leave his office to join the rest of the team, took a moment and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath in and tried to bring his heart rate down. 

He looked down at his desk and saw a picture of him and Haley holding Jack. He picked it up and held it in one hand, staring at it. 

His family. That is his family. That is his wife. That is his son. He kept trying to tell himself that. He felt guilty for what happened already today. He shouldn’t have said what he said to Emily earlier. The words kept playing back in his head, “.. _.it would be kind of hard to forget you_.” He couldn’t believe he’d said that. But it was true. It was hard to forget her. 

It was so strange to think back to then. Now she was _working for him_ , all these years later. She must’ve not realized how much he’d really noticed her and paid attention to her then. She was so beautiful and smart and so impressive. It was hard not to notice her, let alone forget her. And she still was all those things. If not, then even more so now. 

What was he going to do? He couldn’t be developing any type of feelings for her, no matter how right it felt being with her in the moments they’d already shared. _This couldn’t be a coincidence_ , he’d thought to himself. After all these years, it’s almost like she’s come back to him. 

_She just got here. She’s still new. Don’t take advantage of that._ He kept telling himself this but couldn’t shake how he felt.

He set the picture back down on his desk and walked out his office, closing the door behind him. He’s a professional and was able to clear his mind to focus on his job for the time being but knew it would come back to him later. 

He walked into the conference room where everybody was already seated other than JJ who was standing in the front by the screen, ready to present the case. His eyes wandered, looking for a chair and the only one left was next to Emily. She turned her head and looked at him as he pulled the chair out and sat down. 

JJ tossed the case files on the table. As Hotch and Emily both reached for one, their hands touched, sending a shock to both of them. She gasped and they both quickly pulled away and grabbed another file. 

Once they started looking it over while JJ was talking, he could feel Emily glance over at him. He wanted to look back but knew not to. It was then that he realized, it probably wasn’t just him that felt this way.

  
  



	3. Late Night Calls

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Hotch had just gotten back to the BAU and was walking to his office when he decided to call Haley and let her know he’d be late for dinner. 

“Hey hun, I just got back. I’m walking into my office right now... No, I have to write up this report before I can come home... I know, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for Jack getting his picture taken but I’m also glad you guys didn’t end up going to the mall and you’re safe... Yeah, go ahead and put it in the fridge. I’ll eat when I get home... No, it shouldn’t take me too long. I should be home within an hour or so. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way... Alright, I love you too.”, he sighed after he hung up. 

Exhausted as he was, he knew he had to finish this, he didn’t want to leave it for the morning. He sat down at his desk and pulled out the papers and started writing the report for the case they had just worked on. 

Even though earlier, he’d almost gotten blown up and shot at on a rooftop of a mall he believed his wife was going to be at, he kept thinking about Emily and if she was doing alright on her first case.

He was also thinking about Haley, of course. But he  _ had _ called her to let her know not to go there because something was happening but couldn’t tell her what because it was a breach of security. 

He was close to finishing when he stopped and noticed everyone had already left. That was pretty typical. He was always the last one out of the office. The rest of the team was still on the jet but should have been back any minute. 

He continued writing when he heard Gideon, Spencer, and Emily walk over to their desks after getting off the elevator. His door was open so he could hear them all chatting with one another. 

He almost got up to close the door until he heard Gideon start to leave, saying, “Good work today, Prentiss. You did well under pressure. That’s an important skill to have. Get some rest.”

“Thank you, sir. You too. Have a goodnight.”, she said.

Hotch turned his head and saw Spencer walk side by side with Gideon and they walked to the elevator. He noticed Emily sitting down and starting to write. He was mildly surprised that she was willing to stay after such a long day and travel, instead of going home like the rest and finish work when she got back the next morning.

He finished up the rest of his own and packed his things up in his briefcase. He turned off the light in his office and walked out, closing the door behind him. She didn’t even look up at the sound of that. He watched her as he walked down the steps and over to her desk. 

Stopping behind her chair, he spoke, “You  _ do  _ realize you don’t have to do that tonight?” 

She swiveled around to look up at him. “Yes. I do. But I still have some energy and it’s all still fresh in my mind so I may as well. As long as that’s alright.”, she said.

“Prenti-“, he started, then looked down and closed his eyes, shaking his head. He let out a small chuckle and looked back up at her. “I’m sorry.  _ Emily _ ...”, she smiled as he said that, catching himself. “You’ve had a long day. It’s alright. Please. Go home. This can wait until tomorrow.”, he said.

“Are you sure? Because I can knock this out in like 15 more minutes.”, she tried to sound convincing. 

“ _ Emily _ . Go home. That’s an order.”, he said with a smile. 

She sighed as she stood up and packed her things, putting her large coat on, as he waited, staying off to the side near her. She slung the long strap of her bag around her shoulder and grabbed it, holding on. 

“Thank you.”, he said. 

“For what?”, she asked.

“Well, for listening to me and taking a break for the night. But also for your hard work today. Gideon messaged me when you got on the jet to come back and said you were quite impressive.”, he told her.

“I- I’m honestly relieved. I was pretty nervous.”, she quietly laughed. “He really seemed like he hated me but then he wasn’t as hostile later on and actually... asked me if I wanted to play chess.”, she said, leaning against her desk, facing him.

“Wow, that’s quite a change for just a day. You must’ve made a good impression on him.”, Hotch said, his eyes widened a bit and both eyebrows raised, then bringing them back down.

“I guess so.”, she grinned.

“Let me walk you out.”, he said, starting to walk. She followed by his side.

Once they got to the elevator, they both reached for the button, their hands touched, his on top of hers. “Oops- sorry.”, she said, as he pulled away. She looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously.

“It’s alright.”, he said, keeping his eyes straight ahead, waiting for the elevator doors to open. She latched her hands onto the strap of her bag again, looking up, doing the same as him. Neither of them spoke now, waiting in silence. Hotch’s eyes moved to the ceiling, impatiently, until the elevator doors opened. 

They stepped inside and this time, just Emily hit the button to go down.

“So, tell me more about you, as a person. Not a profiler. We had an unusual introduction.”, he said, breaking the silence.

“Ah- well. You already know pretty much everything about me. Everything there is to know. Moved around a lot as a kid. Worked at Interpol, FBI, here now. I have pretty much no social life. My whole life is my work. Kind of always has been. Not much else to know, really.”, she said.

He looked over at her. “I’m sure that’s not true. There has to be something I don’t know about you already.”, he said, eyeing her. She turned to look at him too. “Alright, um... stupid, typical question but, what  _ do you do _ when you’re not working?”, he asked.

She looked away, back to in front of her and pushed her lips out and blew out a sigh, trying to think. 

“Honestly, I just rest. Maybe read a bit. Watch tv sometimes but not a whole lot. Oh! I uh- I like to go for a run around my neighborhood I guess?...”, she said, slipping into quiet, almost laughing, looking back at him.

He was looking down at his feet, scuffing the tip of his shoe against the ground, barely but silently laughing with a little grin on his face. 

The elevator dinged and opened, catching both of their attention. He motioned his hand forward for her to walk out first, as he followed behind. 

“I’ll walk you to your car.”, he said, stepping closer to her.

“Oh, you really don’t have to.”, she said.

“No, really, it’s fine. It’s nighttime and you’re a young woman, I just want you to be extra careful. Things happen, as you know. So please, just let me walk you to your car so I know you got in safely.”, he insisted.

“Alright but I parked further down today. Also, I have a gun and I’m a trained FBI agent in a parking lot of a federal building. I doubt anything’s gonna happen.”, as she said that she noticed he looked at her serious, almost warning her. She rolled her eyes, “Alright, alright. Fine, you win. Thank you.”

“Of course. Now tell me. Favorite book.”, he practically told her, not even asking.

“Oh,  _ The Catcher in the Rye _ , by far. Best novel of all time. But I love  _ To Kill a Mockingbird _ . Both classics, I know, but they are for a reason.”, she stated, shrugging her shoulders and putting her hands up. 

“Wow.”, he said quietly with no emotion.

“What?”, she asked.

“No, nothing it’s just-  _ The Catcher in the Rye _ is my number one favorite book too. I sound like a total cliche for saying that, but like you said, it’s a classic for a reason.”, he responded, looking back over at her. She lifted her head to look at him, as they kept walking. 

“Holden Caulfield was such an... interesting, unique, very different for his time type of character. So was the book, really. I guess I saw a lot of myself in him or at least desired that. I felt so confined all the time, growing up. I always felt forced to be the perfect daughter and respectful, responsible, I was never able to or got the chance to act out or do typical teenager things and be reckless even for one night to go sneak out to a party. Especially since I was always the new girl almost everywhere I went. It was hard to fit in. I mean the one time I decided to do something stupid, I ended up getting-“, she stopped herself, rolling her lips and keeping her mouth closed. 

He kept walking for a moment. “Ended up getting what?”, he asked and then looked over at her when she didn’t answer. When he noticed her facial expression, he stopped.

“Emily?”, he sounded slightly concerned but didn’t want to show it too much. She brought her head down. Now she was the one scuffing her shoe in the ground. They still weren’t at her car. She now regretted parking at the end of the huge lot. She cursed at herself for screwing up like that. She didn’t want to tell him this. Not now at least. 

“Emily? Are  _ you _ alright?”, now sounding more concerned. He cocked his head and tried to make eye contact with her. But she wouldn’t look up yet. She felt tears coming on.  _ No. No, no, no. You cannot be crying again in front him. Not again!  _ She thought. 

“I’m sorry.”, she said. Doing a worse job at holding the tears back this time. Feeling them fall down. Remembering this was always hard, that’s why she’d blocked it out all these years. The memories were too painful to deal with, so she just wouldn’t. But now it’s built up from all the times she avoided it, and was actually crying. Not just holding it back. It came out, not too heavily though. 

She had gained some control before it got too out of hand. She turned her head to her other side so she wasn’t facing him and used her sleeve to wipe everything away and sniffled as she turned over to face him. He was looking at her with sad eyes, like he cared and was hurting for her.

While she had been looking away, he knew what was happening and pulled out a small travel size pack of tissues from his pocket. He always kept them with him while traveling on cases. Families of the victims needed them a lot, sometimes you spill things, allergy season, lots of reasons.

So when she looked back at him, he already had a couple tissues in his hand and set his briefcase down on the ground. While he stared at her, she didn’t know what to do. She almost opened her mouth to speak but didn’t know what to say. 

All of a sudden, he was stepping closer to her. He lightly cupped the side of her shoulder and brought his other hand with the tissue up to her face and wiped more tears that came out, off her cheek. Doing all of this slowly. He was staring at her cheek, almost as if he were focusing on what he was doing. Then his eyes moved to hers and his hand stopped wiping the tears and they stared deep into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever.

She could feel his breath on her and smell his aftershave and cologne that made her melt. She closed her eyes, making one more tear escape. Whatever was happening right now, she never wanted it to end. She slowly opened her eyes and his head was coming back up from looking down at the ground, locking eyes with hers yet again. 

He brought his hand with the tissue back to her face and a corner of his mouth turned up. Other hand moving to the opposite side of her face, holding it. Right when he did that, she thought he was grabbing her to pull her in and kiss her. But he didn’t. Instead, he held her there and wiped the last tear off. Lip still curled up, he said, “Your makeup was running a bit too.”

“Oh...”, she whispered, looking into his eyes, returning his gaze, in shock. 

“It’s um- all good now.”, he said.

They didn’t move or break eye contact, his hand still cupping her cheek, his thumb lightly stroking the side of her face. When all of a sudden, his phone rang and they broke apart. 

She stepped back and put her hand in her giant coat pocket and tucked her hair behind her ear with her other hand, sticking that one in her other pocket after. She let out a sigh and tried to catch her breath as she looked over to the side, trying to process what had just occurred. Her heart rate was so high. She had butterflies still in her stomach. So did he. 

He grabbed his phone and turned around at the same time to answer it, while sticking the tissues in his pocket.

“Hey, I know I’m running late. It was a big case today, it took longer than I thought... yeah I was just about to call you once I got in my car. I’m walking to it right now... Okay, I’ll see you soon... Love you too, bye.”, he whispered the last part, feeling awkward saying that in front of Emily after what had just happened. 

“Let me guess, getting scolded for missing dinner?”, she joked, trying to act like that didn’t just happen between them. 

He chuckled awkwardly, doing the same, “Yeah, I told her I’d be back earlier than I thought.”, he said, looking at his watch, eyes widened.

“Well I’ll let you get home, you really didn’t even have to walk me this far.”, she told him.

“No. I did have to, I wanted to. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe. And I’m not going to just leave you now. Don’t try and fight me on this.”, he warned with an eyebrow raised, obviously trying to lighten the mood and be compassionate. 

She glared at him and then turned away and started walking. He followed her, trying to catch up.  _ Wow, this girl walks fast. She’s probably great out in the field. _ He thought. 

Once she stopped at a black sedan, she turned around and looked at him. “Well, this is me. Thanks for walking me all the way down. It seriously wasn’t necessary.”, she said.

“It gave us a chance to talk a bit more. We aren’t done with that conversation though. Obviously something came up, we don’t have to go down that road again if you don’t feel comfortable about it but I expect to hear more about who  _ Emily Prentiss _ is when she’s not working as a Special Agent with the FBI.”, he quirked his eyebrow. 

“Sounds good, Hotch.”, she chuckled. 

“See you tomorrow, drive safe.”, she said, smiling while opening her car door.

“You too, Emily.”, he backed up and turned to start walking away once she stepped in, closing the door. She let out a deep breath, like she’d been holding it in a for a while. 

She looked out her car window and watched him walk away. All she could think of was how she hadn’t wanted to say goodnight and how safe she felt when he was holding her and looking in her eyes, comforting her in a moment of distress, while feeling vulnerable. She was so tempted to walk into his arms and have him hold her whole body and rest her head on his shoulder and feel connected. 

She looked back at the wheel and started her car, pulling out and drove out of the parking lot. Her body was still, not knowing what to feel in that moment and decided to keep it that way at least for the night. 

Hotch got to his car and felt the exact same way as Emily did but with a hint of guilt. He tried to tell himself that he was just being supportive for a friend who needed it. But that was his subordinate. That wasn’t professional of him and even if she wasn’t, and she was just a friend, that was still not okay. He knew that but he didn’t want to admit that. 

He was late getting home because he spent time talking to a woman he felt... whatever this feeling was towards, when he should’ve been at home, helping put his son down and heating up dinner to sit down with his wife and talk about his day so they can go to bed with each other at the same time like a married couple does. She understands his job and all the requirements it has. She doesn’t like it but she _ understands _ it.  _ She probably wouldn’t understand this, though _ . He told himself. 

He redirected his thoughts to his family and what he would tell her about his day when he got home, if she was even awake then. 

Hotch pulled into his driveway and grabbed his briefcase. He stepped out and walked to the front door and opened it. Haley must’ve been upstairs because she wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. He set his stuff down on the table in the living room and walked up to their bedroom. She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth, already in her pajamas. She turned to look at him. 

“Hey.”, he sighed, exhausted. He walked over to her, leaning against the door frame. 

She held up a finger to tell him she was almost done. Once she set her toothbrush down, she walked over and past him to get in bed. “How was your day?”, she asked.

“Long. All I wanted to do was come home and see you guys.”, he ran his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t even think I have the energy to eat anymore.”

“You look exhausted. Just go change and get in bed.”, she said.

“Yeah. Alright.”, he turned to go to the closet taking his suit off.

When he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down he checked his pockets before putting them in the dirty hamper. He found the tissues he had used to wipe Emily’s tears with. There was mascara on them. His eyes widened. _ What was he going to do with those? If Haley saw those, she would have questions _ . He thought, freaking out. 

He pulled his pants back on, still wearing a white t-shirt tucked in.

“You know what? Garbage comes tomorrow. I’m gonna go take it out.”, he said.

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s the least I can do. You made dinner and took care of Jack today, like always. It’ll just take a minute. I’ll be right back up.”, he covered it up.

“Alright.”, she said, laying down.

He walked downstairs and gathered the trash from each can in the house, tossing the tissues in one of them and tying it tight. He brought the bin out to the front of the house and walked back inside. 

A wave of relief washed over him until he realized what he’d just done. He just lied to his wife. About another woman. He lied to her earlier about finishing work late, which was technically true but he didn’t have to talk to Emily for so long and walk her to her car, let alone wipe away her tears and share that intimate moment with her. And now this. He felt like a horrible husband.

He finished changing and got in bed, giving his wife a kiss goodnight. He laid his head down on the pillow and tried to sleep but didn’t end up getting much. His heart kept beating fast, and he knew why.

Emily had arrived home around the same time Hotch did. She walked up the stairs of her apartment complex, thoughts of that night still running through her mind. 

She opened her door and disarmed her alarm. Throwing her bag on the counter and walking upstairs, barely paying attention to anything, grinning like an idiot. 

She walked in her room and changed out of her clothes, into her plaid pajama pants and a baggy Harvard t-shirt. She walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. She realized her makeup was barely messed up because of Hotch wiping her tears and smudged mascara off for her. That made her smile and blush even more, looking down. She washed the rest off anyways. 

She went downstairs to grab a glass of water and came back up, setting it on her night stand next to her bed, along with her phone. She always kept the ringer on incase they got a case and she needed to come in. 

Sleep came easily to her that night. It felt nice to be able to crash with no struggle. It didn’t last for long, her phone ringing, waking her from what _ was  _ a deep sleep but she was a light sleeper, practically trained to be, just for moments like that. 

She picked it up, not even looking at the name that was calling her. “Prentiss.”, she stated.

“Emily?”, the low voice asked. He sounded familiar. She pulled the phone away and opened her eyes to look at the name. It was Hotch. Her heart skipped a beat, nervous but too tired to feel it overwhelmingly and show it.

“Oh- Hotch, hey. I’m sorry. I... didn’t see it was you. What’s going on , is there a case?”, she grumbled, still tired, barely able to bring her voice to a normal level. She didn’t even bother to sit up. 

He listened to her groggy voice and thought it was kind of cute.  _ This is what she sounds like when she wakes up... _ He thought, while letting a small smile appear. He’d walked out into the backyard in a chair on the patio by the pool staring at the city lights from a distance. He didn’t even think of an excuse for what he was doing if Haley had walked out. 

“No, there’s not a case. I just wanted to check on you, see how you’re doing. Wanted to make sure you got home alright.”, he said nervously, wondering if that was a good enough excuse. 

_ Would she be annoyed with him for waking her up in the middle of the night for no seemingly good reason? _ He wondered. 

“Oh... you woke up at...”, she paused to look at the time and then continued, “...1:30 in the morning to ask me that?”, she let out a half breathy laugh. 

“No, not exactly. I mean, I didn’t  _ wake up _ to call you. I was already awake. I’m sorry I disrupted your sleep though. I can let you go. I know you had mentioned you’re kind of a night owl, before but I guess not tonight. I’ll let you get your sleep.”, he said disappointed. 

“No, no. Don’t be silly. Something was obviously on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”, she asked.

“On  _ my _ mind? No. Hardly. I know it might sound ridiculous but I really  _ did _ want to make sure you’re okay after tonight. You started saying something and then...”, he trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence, hoping she would jump in. 

He had his legs up and resting on a chair across from him, picking at the paint on the metal table he was sitting at, nervously waiting for her to respond. It was dark but the moon was bright, shining down on the pool, reflecting. 

“Hotch... I-“, her voice lowered. “It didn’t mean anything. I really just want to move on, it’s not important. Please.”, she pleaded, eyes closed. 

“Alright. But as you know, I’m always here. Day or night, really.”, he said, softening up. 

“I know. I just don’t feel that you need to know what was happening. No offense, of course. I just mean that you don’t need to know about it and probably wouldn’t want to anyways. It’s in the past and hasn’t effected my work ability at all.”, she went on.

“Okay. I respect that. I would never judge you, just so you know.”, he said, 

“I appreciate it. And same for me. Always here, no judgment.”, she smiled as she said it, even realizing he couldn’t see it but Hotch could actually hear it. 

“Well since our conversation got cut short, tell me the rest about you. That you feel comfortable, of course. The past couple of days have been intense. I could use a bit of a distraction to be honest and I’d like some fill in’s for the gap between last time I worked with your mother and got to talk to you.”, he said cautiously at the end. He had been trying to think of ways to bring up what had happened that night but didn’t know how or if he should.

She kept wondering if he would too. 

But instead, she rolled over onto her side, chuckled and asked, “How long do you have?”


	4. Coffee and Muffins

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Around 2:00am, Hotch had gone inside to grab a couple beers, knowing he’d want more than one, and went back outside to sit down.

An hour had passed by and he was still on the phone with Emily.

“Is that another beer you’re opening?”, she asked, hearing the bottle cap come off the bottle through the phone.

“Yeah, I usually don’t drink much but I just felt like having a couple tonight.”, he admitted.

“If it wasn’t 3:00am, I’d probably grab one myself.”, she said.

“What? Are you serious? It’s already 3:00? Well I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.”, he said.

“Maybe if you finish that beer quickly, you will.”, she teased him.

“Ha ha, very funny.”, he laughed.

“I should let you go and get some sleep.”, she said not even tired anymore. 

“Ahh, I’m sorry I woke you and kept you up so long.”, he sighed.

“Don’t be. It was nice. I think we both needed this. Someone to talk to after these past few days.”, she paused, “Besides, I’m not even really tired anymore.”, she told him, still laying down.

“I’m a bad influence, huh?”, he said with no humor in his tone but she could still tell he meant it in a joking way. She felt like she knew him so well already, like she just really understood him on another level after talking for hours that night and their brief history.

“I wouldn’t say that. I do have a question though...”, she said getting quieter.

He became nervous and his tone got a bit more serious. “Alright, shoot.”, he responded.

There was a moment of silence, putting him on edge. She was trying to think of how to say it. “Why have you been... so... nice to me, I guess. I don’t know, it’s just- you seem so different with everyone else and you’ve known them a lot longer than me. I guess I’m just surprised that you’ve been so different around me. I don’t know... It was a stupid question, I’m sorry.”, she said, regretting she’d even brought it up.

“No. Don’t apologize. I guess I just feel like I have known you longer and while I am your boss, we also have a connection personally? I think you just understand it a lot more than most do and I feel more comfortable being able to discuss personal matters with you. As a friend, of course. Inside the work setting, I set everything aside and I’m professional and I’ve noticed you are too. It’s just about a balance that I haven’t been able to find with others even though I am very close to my team and care very much. We all do. But if I have done anything to make you uncomfortable in any way, please, let me know.”, he said. 

He realized how much he was going on and on and his blood was pumping. He took another swig of his almost empty beer now, waiting for her response to what he’d just said, that didn’t come soon enough.

“You haven’t. I would tell you if you did. It’s comforting to know there’s someone who’s there for you, especially being so new and- I just really appreciate you letting me in and being a great support so far. And if I ever do anything to make you uncomfortable-“, she didn’t get to finish before he cut her off.

“Emily you couldn’t possibly do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I can’t see you doing anything that would result in that. But I would communicate that to you if it ever came up. Alright?”, he reassured her.

“Okay. Thank you.”, she said and then got the courage to say, “One more thing...”

“What is it?”, he asked, fearing again what she might say next.

She was silent again before she started to speak. She really loved to do that to him, didn’t she? He thought.

“Why did you really call me tonight? And how has your wife not noticed you aren’t in bed?”, she finally asked.

He didn’t really know how to answer that. He really wasn’t sure why he had called her. Did he just want to hear her voice? Was he bored and wanted someone to talk to, to distract him? These questions ran through his mind. And to be honest, he’d completely forgotten about Haley upstairs and what she might think if she found him out there on the phone with Emily, at now, almost 3:30 in the morning. 

“Honestly... I don’t know why I called you. I didn’t even think about it. I couldn’t sleep and I got up to sit outside and get some fresh air. I got lost in my head and without thinking about it, I just picked up my phone and called you...”, he admitted, scared of what she might be thinking or doing on the other end. 

Once again, another silent moment before she said anything else. She realized he didn’t answer the question about Haley. Was that intentional? She wondered. 

Growing impatient and a bit worried when he still didn’t hear anything, he looked at his phone to see if she’d hung up. “Emily...? Are you still there?”, he asked, almost in a whisper.

“I’m glad you did.”, her voice came back.

“I’m sorry?”, he almost stuttered, sounding confused.

“Called me. I’m glad you did.”, the words came out of her mouth so smoothly. She could feel everything stop. Everything felt still and she could almost sense it from his side of the phone too. She was smiling and her eyes closed while she had just told him that she was glad he called. 

He was somewhat shocked that’s what she said and the way she said it. He dropped his head down after that, smiling, almost blushing. There were so many things he wanted to say in response, but all he could muster up was, “Yeah?”

“Yeah... I haven’t had someone take the time to reach out to me just to talk since... I don’t even know how long. It’s always for work, mainly. So, yes, I’m glad you called.”, she said. 

“Noted. I guess I’ll have to call you in the middle of the night, waking you up more now.”, he chuckled. 

“Maybe not that often.”, she giggled. “But I’ll always answer your calls when I see them come through.”, she said sweetly.

“Me too.”, he said calmly with a content look on his face. 

After talking for a little longer, he checked the time on his phone. It was 4:45 in the morning. The sun was going to come up soon. 

“Emily, I am so sorry. I was not keeping track of the time.”, he felt bad.

“Oh wow.”, she laughed. “Guess we both weren’t. What time do you have to be up?”, she asked. 

“Well, in about an hour, hour and a half. Whenever Jack wakes up which is usually around 6:00 or so. I go into the office by 7:30.”, he said.

“So you get in much earlier than the rest of us. 9:00 is great compared to your schedule.”, she said.

“Yeah, well, when you’re the boss, you have to get there earlier than everyone else and stay later than everyone else. But it’s alright. It’s my job and I love it.”, he sounded satisfied.

“Well, still. You need to cut yourself a break sometimes. Take some time and relax. I know you take case files home with you to do some work on the weekends.”, she accused him.

“I know, I know.”, he waved his hand. “I just like having everything done ahead of time so things run smoothly. Last thing I need is for Strauss to be on my ass even more than she already is constantly.”, he said, frustrated but in a lighter tone with a hint of a laugh.

“Alright, I get it but you gotta take care of yourself too. You’re always putting other people first. I can just tell.”, she said.

“You’re right. That’s all I’ve ever known and all I’ve ever done. I don’t know any different. I wouldn’t know where to begin to change that.”, he said.

“I can help you out with that. First step: go take a power nap before everyone wakes up. You need sleep. Even just a little bit.”, she said.

“I’m not the only one...”, he said, raising an eyebrow, not that she could see it anyways.

“I know, I’m getting tired again, so don’t worry about me.”, she tried to convince him.

“Of course I’ll worry about you, it’s my job to worry about you.”, he said.

That made her heart skip. And a smile grow on her face. “Goodniiight, Hotch. Get some rest. I’ll see you in a few hours.”, she said.

He sighed, “Goodnight Emily. I’ll see you at 9:00... Please don’t stay up any longer.”, he told her.

“Bye.”, she said with a smile and small laugh as she spoke.

Emily set her phone back down on her night table and rolled over. She still couldn’t believe that she had just talked on the phone with Hotch for over three hours. 

The fact that he had called her in the middle of the night just to talk to her. What did that mean? She couldn’t stop smiling but knew she had to get some rest and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Hotch felt satisfied after he got off the phone with Emily but didn’t want to hang up. He was already looking forward to seeing her at work that same day.

He grabbed the beer bottles and walked out front to throw them in the recycling bin and then came back inside. He walked upstairs quietly and slipped into bed, trying not to wake up Haley. 

As he laid down on his back, arm crossed on his chest, looking up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes trying to fall asleep, struggling at first but eventually, he did. 

  
  


Emily woke up at 7:30. She could barely open her eyes, she was so tired from staying up almost all night talking to Hotch. Then she thought of him and her energy spiked. 

She got out of bed, took a quick shower to wake herself up, and got dressed. She decided to skip breakfast and coffee at home and to go pick up a coffee and maybe a pastry on her way to work. 

She realized Hotch must’ve been exhausted too, so she bought 2 coffees, one for her and one for him, guessing he liked it black. She also got a muffin and walked back to her car and drove to work. She tried to rush there so she could get to the office early, in hopes of getting a few minutes alone with him before everyone else got there. 

When she arrived at work, it was 8:30. She walked in and saw that no one else was there. She set her bag down at her desk and took her coat off. Grabbing her muffin and the coffees, she walked up to his office. 

As she approached the doorway, he looked up from writing, surprised. He was wearing his regular work attire, suit and tie, button up shirt, tucked in. Today, he wore a red tie with a light blue button up. She thought the red tie was one of the best colors on him. But his suit jacket was hanging on the back of his chair.

“Emily, what are you doing here so early?”, he asked.

“Well, good morning to you too.”, she said sarcastically.

He smiled and corrected himself, “Sorry. Good morning. How was the rest of your... well... sleep? Not exactly night.”, he laughed. 

“I actually fell asleep quite easily right after we got off the phone. Only a few hours but hopefully with this coffee...”, she held up the cups, walking over to his desk, handing one to him, “... we can manage to stay awake for the whole day.”, she smiled.

“You brought me coffee? You didn’t have to do that!”, he exclaimed. “Black?”, he asked.

“Well, I didn’t need to profile you to know you don’t like cream or sugar in it. Was I right?”, she asked, raising her eyebrows with a devilish smile.

“Yes, yes, you were.”, he said while bringing the coffee up to his mouth to take a sip. “That’s really what I needed, thank you. Why are you still standing? Sit down.”, he said.

She set her coffee and bag with her muffin in it on his desk, pulled out a chair and sat down. 

“What’s in the bag?”, he asked, motioning his head towards it.

“Muffin. You want some?”, she asked.

She squinted her eyes and slightly turned her head, giving him a look. “Hotch... don’t tell me you skipped breakfast.”, she said accusingly.

His eyes widened and his lips curled in, looking around the room. “No. Of course not.”, he said.

Her mouth dropped and she gasped, “You are such a bad liar!”

“Oh, come on. Cut me a break, I didn’t have much time and-“, he would have finished his sentence but shut his mouth and looked at her, trying not to laugh as she glared at him. 

She split the muffin in two and passed one half over to him, staring him down. He lowered his chin to his chest and looked up at her, feeling guilty, while he reached for his half.

“What about you?”, he asked. “Is this your breakfast too or did you eat something before you left?”, he raised an eyebrow, knowing what her answer would be.

She rolled her eyes, “Fair enough.”, she said. 

His tone got serious but yet again, in a way where she could tell it was in a joking, light hearted way. “Emily, you’re so skinny. You need to eat more.”

She just looked at him while taking a sip of her coffee before setting it back down. “Excuse me?”, she said, almost sounding offended.

“I didn’t mean that in a rude way. You’re- you’re perfectly fit. You’re not too skinny. I was just saying-“, he kept stuttering when she decided to cut in. 

She laughed, “Hotch, I’m just messing with you.”, she smiled. “I know what you meant. But as long as I have the strength to chase after a criminal out in the field and defend myself and take them down, I think I’ll be just fine. Which I do, so I am.”, she said smugly with a smile. She had to admit, it was fun messing with him and she could tell he enjoyed their time doing this too.

They continued to finish their muffin and sipped their coffee while chatting a bit more before everyone else arrived. 

“So...”, he started, covering his mouth while he finished the last bite. “Sorry. How comfortable are you feeling with starting a new case when we get one?”, he asked.

“I’d say I’m definitely ready.”, she said.

“Good. I’m glad the adjustment has been somewhat easy.”, he said putting his arms behind his head, leaning back in his chair. He brought one fist back to cover his mouth while letting out a yawn. 

Right after that, she did the same. 

Putting his arm back behind his head, he said, “This is why you shouldn’t stay up all night when you have work the next day.”

“Hey, I’m not the only one.”, she said, eyeing him.

“Yeah, yeah.”, he said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back more. “I heard we might have a case today. We haven’t been invited in by the local police yet, but JJ was going to get in touch with them when she comes in, see if there’s any updates, that’s why I asked.”, he said.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m ready.”, she said confidently.

He brought his arms back down and in front of him, resting them on his desk and leaning forward. He looked at his watch. It was 8:55. “Good, because everyone should be here in a few minutes.”, he stood up and grabbed his suit jacket and slipped it on. She watched him as he pulled it, almost making sure it was as straight as possible. 

She wondered what he looked like in regular, casual clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt, normal sneakers, not dress shoes. Hoodie, not suit. While she was thinking of that, she realized she was staring at him while he fixed his tie and tightened it in the reflection of a picture frame.

He turned around right as she snapped out of it but he still caught her staring at him. A corner of his mouth turned up into a slight smirk. “You alright?”, he said in a deep tone.

“Yeah, yeah, totally. Just gotta wake up more, finish this coffee.”, she said, picking it up, taking another sip and cupping both sides of it with her hands.

He walked over towards her. She was just now noticing how tall he was. Her sitting down, looking up at him standing. He towered over her. It was almost intimidating. 

“Would you help me with something?”, he asked.

“Sure.”, she said, standing up. “What do you need?”

“We got a new screen for the conference room. Much bigger, it’ll be a lot better for viewing everything. I told Garcia I’d bring it in and hook it up so she can connect everything and set up the software and all later. Would you help me bring it in?”, he asked.

“Yeah, of course.”, she said, setting her coffee down.

“Great. It was just delivered an hour ago. They brought it into her office.”, he said starting to walk out, her following behind. 


	5. Innocent Intentions

**Chapter 5**

* * *

  
  


They got to Garcia’s office and he typed in the code, opening the door and holding it for Emily as she walked in after him, door closing behind.

“Wow.”, she said.

He turned around to look at her with a small grin. “Haven’t been in here yet, huh?”

“No... She  _ really _ uses all this equipment?”, she asked, amazed, looking around.

“Yeah, I always say she’s the brains behind everything we do here and that we’re just the ones carrying it out.”, he chuckled. 

Still looking all around, she said, “Yeah, I’d say so...”

He stopped at a shelf. “I gotta grab this box up here first. It’s got some of the extension cords in it.”, he said. He started taking his suit jacket off and she stared at him again, confused as to what he was doing. He folded it neatly. 

“Emily?”, he said, looking at her, wondering why she was staring at him that way. She snapped out of it, blushing a little bit. 

“Would you mind holding this or setting it down over there?” He said, handing it over to her. “I don’t want to rip it or get it dusty.” 

“Yeah, sure.”, she said, taking it from him. 

He reached for the box and grabbed it, starting to pull it down. It looked heavy. She wasn’t surprised he could lift it. She knew how strong he was, but it was still impressive. She found herself staring at him  _ again _ . She snapped out of it when the bottom of the box opened up, everything falling out, hitting the floor. 

“Agh! Dammit!”, he cursed loudly, practically screaming, throwing the box down, bringing his hand to his forehead and then running his fingers through his hair. She flinched, she could get startled easily when she wasn’t expecting it, unlike when she’s with an unsub and is ready for them to snap at any moment.

He heard her gasp and turned to her, bringing both his hands to his hips.

With an apologetic look on his face, he said, “I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“, he couldn’t finish his sentence. He shut his mouth tight, still frustrated, putting his head down and shaking it. He looked back up at her and she rolled her lips in, looking around the room, nervously.

He brought his hand out, not quite reaching for her. “Emily, I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you alright?”, he said in a low, deep, quiet tone, eyeing her carefully. 

She looked back at him with what seemed like scared, puppy dog eyes and he instantly felt horrible for making her feel that way. 

She was tough though. She could take a lot and he didn’t scare her away. It would take a lot to drive her away or push her over the edge. Ian Doyle didn’t even do that and he was a nightmare. He never treated her horribly. Ever. He loved her. But she saw the way he got when he was ‘working’ and that was a completely different story. He was a different person.

When she looked at Hotch, she could tell he felt bad. She set his jacket down on a chair near her and walked over to him. He had put his hands back on his hips. He still looked incredibly frustrated and like he was holding it all in so he wouldn’t let it out and scare her again. 

She wanted to reach out for him but crossed her arms, running her hands up and down them. She was wearing a gray cashmere v-neck sweater and was rubbing the soft material. It was calming to her. In times she felt like this, she used this as a self soothing technique along with the 6 senses grounding, coping skill. She would count 6 things she could see, 5 things she could hear, 4 things she could feel, and so on. It typically worked but not this time. 

She couldn’t tell why he was so angry. She knew he had a bad temper but this seemed a bit over the top. She knew there must’ve been something else going on.

Standing, in between next to him and in front of him, she reached her hand out to touch his shoulder lightly, hoping to get his attention and calm him down. He looked up at her touch. He just looked at her and she could now see sadness that replaced the anger in his eyes. 

He dropped his arms down and shoved them in his pockets, looking down again. He swallowed hard, holding back tears.  _ Now he was the one breaking down in front of her. Usually, it was the other way around _ . He thought.

She walked to stand in front of him, keeping her hand on his shoulder and bringing _ her  _ other hand to  _ his _ other shoulder. Her fingers curling over the top of his shoulders and palms on the front, practically on his chest. 

Her touching him, helped him calm down and the smell of her perfume was soothing. It had a hint of vanilla and something else soft. He couldn’t put his finger on it. 

She cocked her head to the side to try and look at him but he didn’t return her gaze. He was taller than her but not by too much. Just the perfect amount. Close enough to where she could easily run her fingers through his hair, which she was now starting to think about. 

Finally, she spoke, in a whisper, “Hotch... Can you look at me?”

His head stayed down, eyes closed tight in frustration. His breathing was heavy. She could feel his body tense. She stepped even closer to him, not even thinking about it or realizing how close she was to his body. Their bodies were just inches apart. She could feel his blood pumping, hear his heart beating fast and hard. 

She thought that applying pressure around him to his nervous system might help bring all that down. Scientific studies have shown that it does. So she let go of his shoulders, came closer, and wrapped her arms around him slowly, now  _ over _ his shoulders against his neck, pulling him into her. 

She couldn’t believe she had just done that but she didn’t let go and he didn’t resist. Her chin was resting on his shoulder. She felt so nice against him. This was the exact type of physical affection he needed in this moment. The type that he’d been lacking lately, that he hadn’t been receiving, from his wife specifically.

At this moment, he brought his head up slightly, still leaning over a bit and resting it next to hers. He could feel her soft hair on his cheek and could smell her coconut scented shampoo. It was soothing. He slowly took his hands out of his pockets and brought them up. One wrapping around her, right above her waist and the other, higher up on her back.

Once she felt him reciprocate the hug and hold her a little bit tighter, she gave into that and did the same. She could tell he was hurting. She didn’t know what it was about but she understood what it was like to hold it all in and just need this. She was just glad he didn’t pull away from her or completely shut her out. 

She closed her eyes and just held on to him _ and _ to the moment. Her cheek was now pressed against his neck. His skin was soft and warm and she felt his pulse slowing. She was so warm in his arms. She didn’t want to let go and neither did he. 

He felt so close to her in this moment. He brought his arm that was around her upper back, higher up and reached her shoulder, gripping it while still pressed against her back in the hug. His arm above her waist slightly moved down onto it now and wrapped tighter, holding on.

Their bodies were now pressed to each other’s, leaving no space in between. He felt the soft sleeves of her sweater around the back of his neck holding on tight. And she could feel his muscles wrapped around her. 

He opened his eyes, barely, pulling his head back just enough to bring his mouth to her ear brushing up against her hair. He kept his head straight but slightly down, shifting his eyes to the side of her and whispered quietly, “Emily...”, not sure what he meant by it, if he was protesting this or wanted to thank her for being there or ask her something. He wasn’t sure. But it felt necessary to start to say something.

She responded almost immediately with a, “Shhhhh... it’s okay.”, in the same tone and level as him. That made him lean his head against hers now, closing his eyes, and letting out a sigh. When he did this, she took one of her arms from around his neck, and brought her hand up and stroked the back of his neck, going up to his hair and moving it to the side of his neck, opposite from where her head was. This made him moan, softly and quietly into the side of  _ her _ neck as his face was brought down and turned into it. 

Emily could  _ almost _ feel Hotch’s lips on her neck but he didn’t face it all the way. His breath against her there made her shudder but in a good way. He could feel it. It made him happy that he could make her feel this way. 

He brought his arm that was on her upper back, down and started rubbing her back up and down with his hand, while keeping his other arm on and around her lower waist. 

While his hand moved all around her back, she turned her head, resting the side of it on his shoulder, facing his neck. He could feel her breath on his neck and then her forehead nuzzled in. This made him get butterflies in his stomach. This much physical interaction with her, may be too much, especially with her so close to him. He couldn’t control how he felt. 

Her eyes closed, feeling so safe and secure and glad he felt that way too. She let out a very quiet, “Mmmmmm...”, smiling as he continued running his hand up and down her back, now in slow circles. That drove him even more crazy, hearing her make that sound.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing any of this. He was married and he was Emily’s boss. But he couldn’t help himself. Right now, it didn’t feel like either thing was a reality. It was just him and her, right there, right then. Whenever he was around her he felt he had little self control but right now he felt as if he had none. 

His hand stopped. Chills sent down her spine as he practically traced it with his fingers moving up to her neck. During this, his head turned down and over to be closer to hers at the new angle. His fingers slid up and tangled in her hair. She almost let out a moan but bit down on her lip instead. 

While he slid his hand back down to her neck, held it, and kept it there, she moved her head and pulled it back slowly to look at him straight on. Their eyes locked when he did the same. Her arms still around his neck, crossed, laying flat on his shoulders, and his arm still around her waist while the other was still on the back of her neck, almost as if to hold her head up.

They didn’t know what to do next. They looked from each other’s lips to their eyes. Their noses, almost touching, their faces were so close. 

His hand moved, yet again, this time up and over to around her face, holding it. While cupping her face, all she could think of was the last time this happened, she was crying and he had wiped the tears off her face and then Haley had called him. 

But this time was different, she wasn’t the damsel in distress, she wasn’t crying, she was pretty sure Hotch had left his phone in his office. Also her arms weren’t around his neck and his weren’t on her waist last time. There were no interruptions.  _ But what was happening? Was he going to kiss her? If he did, would she... be okay with that? _ All these thoughts were going through her mind fast, one after another, yet she was perfectly still.

As her hair fell over her ear and his hand, he took it with that same hand and tucked it behind her ear, she let a small smile spread across her face and showed her dimples while he did this. She looked down and back up at his eyes with a shy look. His hand returned to the same spot, holding her face as he tilted his head slightly and gave her a small smile back, looking deep into her. 

It was quiet for too long, it seemed. She opened her mouth, “Hotch...”, she said in a whisper, as his thumb stroked her cheek. She wanted to ask him what he was doing but she couldn’t get the rest of the words out and didn’t want to spoil this. 

He still had a tiny grin on his face, now one corner of his mouth turning up like a smirk almost. As he did this, Emily licked her lips and bit her bottom. She looked down again as she did this and Hotch raised her head back to him. Once he did that, she just knew something was different about this look. 

This time, she knew what was coming and wasn’t going to turn away. She wanted this just as much as he did. She could feel it.

They stared into each other’s eyes until he slowly brought his face to hers while guiding hers towards him ever so slightly with his hand that was on it. Closing his eyes as she did the same, leaning in with him, as their lips met. 

Her lips were soft as he melted into her. She thought the exact same thing. As they stayed together, Emily unlocked her arms from around him and brought her hands to the same place on his head where his was on hers. She pulled him in, pressing his lips against hers even more. As her mouth opened, his tongue moved in and hers did as well. It was passionate now. 

He brought his hand on her face to her hip, sliding the one on her waist over to her other hip, digging his fingers in and grabbing her to pull her closer. One of her hands made its way up the side of his head, in his hair, running her fingers through it, while they inhaled deeply, lips still together. 

They weren’t even thinking anymore, they were just going along with whatever happened and it felt amazing. 

Their lips broke contact to catch a breath, breathing heavy. She caressed the back of his head, sides of their noses next to each other. She looked down as he looked straight at her. When her eyes returned to his, all he could think was,  _ she is so beautiful _ , and how he could stay here, like this, forever. 

Her brown eyes, mesmerizing even in the dim lighting, her dark curls, he wanted to wrap his fingers in. She sighed and closed her eyes, touching her forehead to his. Her hand on his face came down to around his neck. 

“I didn’t expect that to happen...”, she said quietly. 

“Yeah. Me neither...”, he agreed.

Forgetting they weren’t the only two people in the world in that moment, they became startled when they heard a sound and their hands released each other immediately. They stepped aside and he grabbed his jacket from the chair as she turned around, with her first coming up to her mouth, biting down on it. 

All of a sudden, Garcia walked in and became startled herself, seeing Emily leaning against one of the tables and Hotch crouching down with his jacket on now, picking up the remains from the box that opened. 

“Hey Garcia, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be here till 9:15. We were just grabbing some things for helping set up the new screen.”, Hotch said.

“Well, sir, although I do appreciate you letting me come in a few minutes later than everybody typically does, I was even later than that today. It’s 9:30...”, she told him, then looking over at Emily, “Hey, you’re early today! How long you been here? Must’ve been boring hangin’ out with this guy over here.”, Garcia joked.

Normally Hotch would find humor in that, but considering what just transpired between them, he snapped, “That’s enough, Garcia. I’m not mad that you were late today but don’t make it a habit.”, he said sternly, raising an eyebrow. 

Penelope was shocked. “Yes sir, of course. I’m sorry.”

Emily still stood off to the side, silent, hands on the table she was leaning against. 

“Is JJ here yet?”, he asked.

“Yeah she got here about 10 minutes ago. Would you like me to grab her for you?”, Garcia asked.

“No, that’s alright. I’ll go find her.”, he sounded frustrated and stressed as he stood up and completely ignored Emily. He walked to the door and exited without saying anything else to either of them or looking at either of them.

Emily’s eyes wide after he left and then looked down as she got up and bent down to finish cleaning up. 

“Wow, what got into him?”, Garcia asked. 

“No idea, guess he’s just overwhelmed. I think it’s going to be a busy day.”, Emily shrugged.

Garcia nodded her head in understanding. “Can I help you with that?”, she asked Emily, motioning towards the ground where the mess was. 

“Actually...”, Emily stood up, “...I think I’m just going to go grab some of that packing tape from Hotch’s office. I’ll be _ right _ back.”, Emily said. 

Emily knew there was probably some tape back in Garcia’s “lab” but needed an excuse to see Hotch. She walked out to the bullpen expecting to see him talking to JJ but he was walking into his office. He closed the door behind him and shut the blinds.  _ That can’t be good _ ... Emily thought. 

She walked up to his office and knocked. There was no answer. She waited and knocked again. This time she heard him say, “I’m busy right now.”

She knew that was a lie. She opened the door and walked in anyways and shut it behind her. She found him pacing in the middle of his office with his hand to his head in frustration. He looked up, irritation still high. His arm was crossed against him.

“Emily, I believe I said I was busy.”, he said shortly.

She wanted to tell him to not take that tone with her. However, she didn’t. But she didn’t have the patience for him to talk to her like that. 

She started calm, “Well... maybe you should’ve locked the door.”, she stared at him. 

“Emily, please just leave.”, he said.

She was about to argue but knew not to right now. She started walking to the door and once her hand made contact with the handle, she stopped. Dropping her head and shaking it, she locked it and turned around, walking over to him. 

“No.”, she stated.

“What?”, he asked, looking back at her, confused, in a stern tone.

“I said.. _.no _ .”, she told him, raising her eyebrows. He just stared at her, angry. 

“You know what? I can’t do this right now.”, he said. 

He walked past her to the door and stormed out of his office, as calmly and professionally as he could. She stood there for a while. Her jaw dropped and turned around to face the door. She looked out at everyone’s desks. They had been watching the whole thing happen and quickly looked away once she made eye contact with them. Great. She thought. She walked out and back to Garcia’s office. 

“Couldn’t find any tape?”, Garcia asked.

Emily took in a deep breath, trying not to let her emotions show and going back to normal. She was typically pretty good at that. 

“Nope.”, Emily said.

“That’s probably because it’s in here.”, Garcia giggled. “I was gonna say something but you uh- seemed like you had to go do some damage control with Hotch out there. Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Just had a question about the case that might be coming in, that’s all.”, Emily tried to sound convincing with a smile right after.

Garcia handed her the tape and they used it on the bottom of the box and put everything back in it.

“Did you want me to bring that into the conference room?”, Garcia asked.

“No, no, I got it. And I’ll ask Derek to help me bring the screen in. I don’t know where Hotch went and Derek’s the next strongest guy around here.”, she laughed. 

“Alright! Well... let me know when you need me to set everything else up.”, Garcia chirped.

She was always so positive and happy all the time. Emily couldn’t figure out why or how someone  _ could _ be. She envied that.

“Thanks.”, Emily smiled.

Emily grabbed the box and began walking to the conference room but stopped at her desk once her phone started to ring. She struggled to grab it from her pocket but picked it up. She saw the contact was ‘ _ Derek _ ’.

“Derek?”, she asked, looking around for him. “Why are you calling me? Aren’t you at work?”

“Nah, I woke up this morning so sick. I can’t get ahold of Hotch but could you let him know?”, Derek said. He sounded awful.

“Yeah, of course. Do you need anything? I can drop by later, bring you some soup or something.”, she offered.

“No, I’m good but thanks. I gotta go get some rest but I should be back tomorrow. Call me if anything big comes up.”, he said.

“Alright, yeah, feel better. Let me know if you need anything after all.”, she said.

“Will do. Later, girl.”, he said.

“Bye.”, she chuckled and hung up.

_ Well, now there’s an actual reason to go talk to Hotch at least. He can’t walk away. _ She thought.

She went to the conference room to set the box down and then saw him walk by in the direction of his office. 

She rushed out to the hall. 

“Hotch!”, she got his attention. He was typing on his phone and turned around to her. He looked over and noticed the others down below at their desks.

“I’m about to take a phone call. What is it, Prentiss?”

She froze, looking shocked and confused, almost offended.  _ He called her Prentiss. Not Emily, but Prentiss... What?!  _ She thought. Now wasn’t the time to argue. 

He realized what he’d done but he really was about to take an important phone call and needed to talk quickly.

“Um, Derek just called. He said he’d been trying to get a hold of you? So he called me and he’s pretty sick so he can’t come in today. He just wanted me to let you know.”, she said slowly.

“Alright, thank you.”, he replied.

She stopped him from moving again. 

“Oh and I take it that we have a case?”, she asked.

“Most likely. Speaking of which, I told you, I need to make a phone call. It’s with the local police department. JJ is coordinating with them right now but she’s gonna transfer them over to me so, excuse me.”, he said.

“Okay, I’ll just find someone else to help me bring the new screen in.”, she sighed, starting to walk away. 

He felt bad now. “No, I’ll help you. Just give me a few minutes, alright?”, he said a bit nicer.

She turned around. “Alright, thanks.”, she said. She couldn’t help it, she had to ask now. “I’m sorry, but can we talk later? Please?”, now in a whisper.

He looked at her, impatient. He looked around and down. Looking back up at her, he said quietly with a sigh, “We can talk after work tonight if we don’t have a case but it looks like we do, so. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.”

He walked away right after that and into his office and she could see him pick up the phone on his desk. 

He walked out 2 minutes later. And leaned over the railing to tell everyone they got a case. He didn’t see Emily so he went to Garcia’s office and found them both when he opened the door that he didn’t let go of. 

“We got a case. There’s no time to set up the new screen today, I’m sorry. We’ll go over the details on the jet.”, he said fast. He looked at them. “Wheels up in 20.” He walked away and closed the door.

_ Well there goes getting to have that talk _ . Emily thought. Maybe there’d be some moment while they’re gone.

She walked out and went to her desk to grab her go-bag. She found a note sticking out from under her keyboard. 

She pulled it out and opened it. She knew it was from Hotch immediately. She knew his handwriting. 

She read it:

“ _ We’ll talk at the hotel when we get a chance. I’m sorry. Please know I’m not mad at you. _ ”

She blushed and smiled at this. She folded it back up and stuck it in her pocket. She picked up her go bag and walked over to JJ’s desk. 

“Hey, you ready?”, Emily asked.

“Ye....s. Sorry, I just had to finish that last thing.”, she said, picking up her own bag. “Let’s go!”

Emily couldn’t help but wonder what Hotch was going to say to her when they got to talk. She was nervous but tried to keep her composure till then. But it was hard when he sat next to her on the jet and she just knew this was going to be an interesting second case for her.

  
  
  



	6. Diners and Walks in the Rain

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Emily was riding with JJ back to the hotel from the police station in L.A. where they had just arrived earlier that day for a case. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt working with everybody so far. This was only her second time flying somewhere for a case. 

The first one, they hadn’t even gotten a hotel; they were just staying for a day.

This time, they didn’t know how long they’d be there but she was tired and needed some sleep. JJ could see that. When she stopped at a red light, she turned to Emily. 

“Don’t get too comfortable there. We’re only a few minutes away. We’ve got nice rooms waiting for us. King size beds and everything.”, JJ said. 

Emily sat up more in her seat from slouching. “I know, I know. God, I’m just so tired.”, she said.

“Well, there will be plenty of time for sleep once we get settled in.”, JJ said, driving again.

“Yeah...”, Emily sighed, looking out the passenger window of the SUV.

“Emily? You alright?”, JJ sounded concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine....”, she said.

“Listen, I know this is hard to adjust to, seeing everything we see, doing what we do. But just know that all we’re doing is helping. Helping save people and catch the ones that we’re saving those people from. We can’t get to them all, and that sucks but... we just have to live with the fact that we are making a difference. A good one. At the end of the day, that’s all we can really tell ourselves and make peace with it. We are doing our best.”, JJ said.

“What if that’s not enough?”, Emily asked.

JJ paused before speaking. “It has to be. I wish our job didn’t have to exist but it does. If it didn’t, things would be a lot worse out there. Like I said, we’re helping people. You have to tell yourself that, believe that.”

Emily didn’t know what to say and hated getting in touch with her feelings. She avoided topics like this a lot. 

“Looks like we’re here. I’ll grab the bags.”, she said getting out of the car once they parked in the parking garage.

After they had checked in, Emily and JJ walked to the elevators and rode up to the 6th floor. When they got off, JJ stopped in the middle of the hallway before opening her door and gave Emily a hug. 

“Today was only the first day. Don’t worry. We’ll catch this son of a bitch who’s doing this, alright?”, JJ said.

Emily hugged her back. “Yeah. Alright.”

JJ let go and smiled at her. “Get some sleep.”

“You too.”, Emily said, smiling back.

JJ opened her room and walked in.

Emily took a deep breath and then opened her door, walking inside. She set her bags down on the ground and sat at the edge of her bed, trying to collect her thoughts.

She took her shoes off and before she could lie back on the bed for a minute, her phone buzzed. She stood up and walked over to her bag and pulled it out.

She got a text from Hotch, saying, “ _I hear there’s a good diner down the street. I know you haven’t had food all day_.”

She didn’t know what to do at first. She wanted so badly to sleep. She was drained emotionally and physically. 

He was right, the last “meal” she had was that morning when she split the muffin with him. She’d had a bag of chips from the vending machine at the station while they were reviewing some of the information of the case but hadn’t actually had a full meal yet. 

Now that she thought about it, she was pretty hungry. She texted him back. “ _Let me get changed. Meet you in the lobby?_ ”

As she waited for his reply, she grabbed her bag from the ground and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans, along with a white t-shirt and a black and gray flannel. It was winter time so it could get cold but not freezing. It was L.A. after all. But she was used to it, having lived all over in different weather conditions all the time. 

Once she changed into that outfit and slipped on her black converse, she checked in the mirror and fixed her curly hair. Her makeup was still decent. She went to grab her phone to see if he messaged her back yet but before she could turn it on, there was a knock at the door. 

Emily walked over to the door, looking out the peephole. It was Hotch. She became so nervous all of a sudden but remained calm and collected. 

She opened the door and saw him for the first time ever in regular, non work clothes. He was wearing jeans, a green shirt and blue jacket, unzipped, and sneakers. 

“Hey , I thought I would meet you in the lobby.”, she said, sounding confused, still staring at him in this outfit. She thought he looked good, comfortable. The blue was a good color on him.

“Well, my room _is_ just a few doors down so I figured why not walk down together?”, he said, standing there with his hands in his pockets. 

“Um, yeah. Sure. Let me just grab my key.”, she said. She went back inside to grab her key and came back to the door, shoving her phone in her back pocket.

“No purse?”, he asked.

“Don’t need one all the time. I only ever carry around my phone, license, credit card, and keys. I keep my cards in my phone case and right now, my key fits in my pocket.”, she said, closing the door behind her, starting to walk down the hall with him. 

“You look exhausted.”, he said. 

“Thanks.”, she said sarcastically. “It _is_ like almost midnight.”

“Actually...”, Hotch started, rolling up his sleeve to check his watch, “...it’s 10:30. But sure, it’s still kind of late, I guess.”, he chuckled. 

“Oh my god. I’m turning into an old lady.”, she said as they approached the elevator, walking into it.

“No, you just worked really hard today. It takes some getting used to, dealing with the hours.”, he told her.

She sighed as they rode down to the parking garage level. They remained silent the whole time since the hallway. When they got off the elevator, they walked over to his SUV. 

Once they both climbed in the front seats in the car and put their seatbelts on, he stopped. Emily looked over at him. “You alright?”, she asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sometimes it’s just important to take a moment and stop, breathe, remember where you are, feel yourself in the present. Especially with what we do all day.”, he said, now starting the car.

“I guess I don’t do that enough.”, she said.

“It takes some practice to recognize when you need that moment the most and know how to clear your mind.”, he said, now backing out of the parking space and driving out of the garage, onto the street. 

“So what diner are we going to?”, she asked.

“It’s called Mel’s. It’s a drive-in too so if you want, we can just eat in the car or go in. It’s only a couple blocks up.”, he said.

“Let’s go inside. I’m so sick of sitting in cars and standing up all day while working.”, she said.

“Sounds good.”, he agreed.

They pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. Locking the car, Hotch became nervous for what came next.

As they walked up to the small restaurant, he held the door open for her. 

“Thanks.”, she said, too tired to smile. He followed her in. 

It was self seating, so they went over to a booth in the back corner. There was hardly anyone else dining in that night. 

The booth was one giant seat that curved around. She slid into it first bouncing on the seat a bit as she scooted over for him to join her. 

When he moved all the way next to her in the middle of the booth, her nerves shot.

She felt a rush of adrenaline kick in once his leg brushed against hers briefly.

They both picked up menus and looked at them before speaking at all. 

It felt so silent, until “ _A Teenager In Love_ ” by Dion & The Belmonts, came on. 

It was one of her favorite 50’s songs. 

She looked up from her menu and gasped with a smile on her face and eyes wide. He turned his head to her and smiled. 

“Dion & The Belmonts. Classic.”, he said.

“You know Dion & The Belmonts?!”, she exclaimed.

“Yeah, of course I do. I grew up with that stuff. 50’s, 60’s music. That’s all my parents played. It’s still some of my favorites, honestly.”, he said.

“Wow.”, she said, looking over at him with a big grin. “You’re the first person I know who’s even close to my age who knows who they are, let alone, listens to them.” 

This made him smile again. “Well, you’re welcome. I have to say the same about you too.”, he said.

They looked at each other, eyes sparkling, big smiles on their faces, slowly turning into shy ones. 

Emily looked down at the menu, ending their moment. 

“I think I’m going to get the cheeseburger and a chocolate shake. I’m _starving_.”, she said.

“You know what, I think I’m gonna do the same.”, he said.

The waiter came over and took their orders and their menus.

Knowing he had to bring it up, he decided that then was the moment.

“Emily, I have to explain my behavior earlier. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. It was unprofessional of me. But... it was also unprofessional of me to take advantage of-“, she cut him off and placed her hand on his thigh, sending chills throughout his body. 

He wanted to glance down at her hand there but knew he had to keep his head up and look at her instead. She was already staring at him. 

“Hotch, please, don’t apologize. You didn’t take advantage of me. I wasn’t the one in a fragile state this time. If anything I should feel more responsible for this happening than you.”, she said.

Her hand squeezed lightly on his thigh, making him tense. 

_Was she doing this on purpose? Was she teasing him or honestly trying to comfort him in an innocent way?_ He wondered.

“Emily, I’m married. Regardless of who was in what vulnerable position or not, it was wrong. I don’t know why that happened. But it can’t happen again. And that’s not fair to you either. I’m honestly sorry.”, he apologized.

She didn’t know what to think now. _That kiss was most certainly not a mistake and definitely did not mean nothing at all._ She thought.

“What is it?”, she asked him.

“What is what?”, he asked, looking directly at her, confused. 

“What’s the problem in your marriage?”, she asked.

“There’s no problem in my marriage. Listen, that wasn’t the point of doing this tonight. I’m trying to apologize for what happened, not talk about deeper into my love life...”, he trailed off, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward, resting his head in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. 

Emily moved her hand off his thigh and he barely noticed until she leaned forward, bringing it to the back of his head and stroking it, resting her arm on his back, her other arm laying across the table. This sent more chills down his spine. 

His eyes closed, frustrated with himself for not stopping this immediately.

“Emily, we can’t be doing this.”, he sighed. 

“Nobody else is here. Just allow yourself to calm down. Clear your mind. Be in the present. Someone wise told me that.”, she whispered, rubbing the back of his neck and moving up into his hair gently. 

He couldn’t deny that it was calming him. He didn’t want to tell her to stop but knew he needed to.

He brought his head up and turned around and took her arm off his neck and held her hand. They looked at each other and before he could say anything, their burgers and shakes arrived, snapping them out of this moment. He let go of her hand and dropped it to her lap. 

He felt bad for doing that, so he scooted towards her until their sides were touching, no space between them. She could feel the friction of his jeans against hers when he moved his leg up and down like he did when he was anxious. 

She felt an excitement in her because of the way she could feel him, not just close but their bodies touching. 

By the time she finished her meal, he was already done. They’d eaten in silence and he figured now would be a good time for words to come out but they wouldn’t. 

Hotch looked at Emily until she noticed and made eye contact with him. 

He could tell she was disappointed about what just happened before their food came. He decided to tell her the truth.

“When I got mad earlier... when I... threw the box and yelled... I _was_ upset about something related to my marriage. And I was feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with certain... things that I really don’t want to get into but it wasn’t right for me to drag you into that.”, he explained.

“You didn’t drag me into anything, Hotch.”, she placed her hand on his on the table. “I walked over to _you_ . You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.”, she said.

Hotch brought his other hand to his forehead and closed his eyes for a second before looking back at her, still not pulling away. 

“I _kissed_ _you_ , Emily. Whether or not I initiated it, which I did with that part, it was _wrong_. Don’t you see that?”, he stressed.

“I think it felt right on some level. And I think you’re scared of that. But mostly, I think you’re scared of the reason why it felt right. And I think you should let yourself feel what you deserve to feel. Happy.”, she said.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I have a family; I can’t betray them like that. I’m sorry but I can’t make that mistake again.”, he apologized, pulling his hand away from hers. He left money on the table and scooted out of the booth and stood up. “Come on, it’s late and we have to be up early tomorrow.” She just stared at him and then scooted out too. 

They walked out and smelled rain coming. She started walking down the block.

“Emily, what are you doing? The car’s right here.”, he asked. 

She turned around and kept going, backwards, holding her hand out.

“Let’s walk for a bit. When was the last time you let yourself take a walk around in beautiful weather at night under street lights in another city? Give yourself a break!”, she told him with a smile.

Just a minute ago, he was distressed. But now, seeing her smile under these dim city lights, was overwhelming and he walked towards her, taking her hand, with a smile on his own face.

She turned back to walking forwards and they began along Ventura Blvd. 

It was almost as if he turned a switch off in his brain. He threw caution to the wind and gave into her touch.

“I don’t accept your apology by the way.”, she stated.

“Oh? And why is that?”, he asked. 

“Because I don’t believe it was completely a mistake and I think you know that and I think a part of you doesn’t believe that it was either.”, she said with a sassy attitude.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.”, he snarked. 

“Really?”, she said, stopping and turning to face him. Their hands still in one another, she looked up at him. 

She placed her hand on his face and looked at him, he didn’t pull away. She waited to see if he would but he just looked at her, trying to catch his breath, thinking, _how does she do this to me? Why am I holding her hand? I just told her I couldn’t do this but now I’m holding her hand. And now I’m not pulling away from this either._

He couldn’t help but notice how much he loved her casual outfit when he saw her in it when she opened her door at her hotel room earlier. 

_How could someone look so good in just skinny jeans and a flannel?_ He’d wondered. He couldn’t stop staring at her in it.

After giving him time to pull away and he hadn’t, she brought her face to his and slowly placed her lips on his. Both, closing their eyes, they felt a spark that was undeniable. He couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there. 

He placed his empty hand on her side, holding her close. Moving their mouths in rhythm with each other’s, allowing their tongues to pass through one another’s mouths, it _did_ feel right. It came so naturally. He didn’t even have to try at all or think about it. He could just go along with it. She eventually pulled away and stared in his eyes, feeling their breath on each other.

“Did that feel wrong?”, she asked.

He didn’t answer. He just leaned down, still holding her and gave her one deep kiss and let go before he started to walk straight again, not letting go of her hand or answering her question with words. She was amazed at his reaction and the way it made her feel. 

She walked alongside him and still

felt the butterflies in her stomach that hadn’t gone away since their lips touched. 

After walking around for a while, it started to drizzle but they kept going, talking more about their childhoods and what it was like for her growing up with her mom, doing what she did and how he understood because he was there for part of it. They talked about what they remember from the time that he _was_ there and how his career furthered after that. 

Eventually, it started raining more and they didn’t mind until it started pouring and her clothes became soaked after just a few minutes. She started shivering.

Hotch wasn’t as cold as her and his jacket didn’t soak up water even though it wasn’t exactly a raincoat. He stopped and let go of her hand to pull his jacket off.

She looked over at him. “What are you doing? You’re gonna get drenched.”, she said.

He walked behind her and said, “I don’t care. I’ll be fine. Put it on.”

She couldn’t argue with him when she was this cold. She put her arms back into the sleeves as he helped her slip it on and he pulled it over her more. 

She went to untuck her hair from it and he pulled it to the side and placed his lips on her neck and between her shoulder very gently. That’s when the butterflies came back for both of them.

He felt her soft skin and smelled her perfume again that made everything calm again. His touch was so tender, she almost leaned back into him. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as a smile crossed her face. 

As he removed his lips from her, his hand moved from her hair, down to her back and he kept it there as he checked his watch. It was past midnight.

“We should probably head back now.”, he said, looking over at her at the same time she did. 

“Yeah, probably.”, she said.

“You look so cold.”, he told her.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. We’ll be back to the car soon anyways.”, she said.

His hand guiding her on her back as they kept walking. She knew he felt the same way she did. His hand at the bottom of her back was a strong indicator of that at the moment. It made her feel a warm sensation inside, the only thing that was causing her not to shiver anymore.

They finally got back to the car. Hotch was starting to walk Emily over to the passenger side to open the door for her but she stopped him at the back of it. 

“Listen...”, she started, touching his chest, “...I just want you to know it wasn’t only you. I kissed you back. I comforted you first.”, she said.

“Actually, I did. The other night when I walked you back to your car. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I let it happen again and went even further and that’s on me. You helped me feel happy, actually happy and free from so many things, tonight. I didn’t worry about all the work we have to do tomorrow or- today I guess. I ended up having a good time, Emily. So thank you. But... you’re right and I think we need to draw some boundaries for us when we get back home...”, he sighed, dropping his head, looking at his wet shoes from the rain. 

She moved her hand from his chest, around to his back linking it with her other hand when she wrapped her arms around his torso. He brought his arms up and held her, squeezing her right back, resting his cheek on her head as hers was resting on his chest. 

They didn’t even care anymore that it was raining until they saw a bright flash and shortly after, heard thunder. 

She squeezed him tighter when the sound startled her. He chuckled, “It’s okay, Emily. We should head back though.”

He released her and she stepped away, getting in the car when he opened the door for her. He closed it and went over to the drivers side and climbed in.

He started the car and pulled out of the space and drove out of the parking lot. 

He turned the heater on even though they were less than five minutes away from the hotel.

When he rested his hand back on the console between the seats, she reached her hand over and took his in hers. 

He didn’t even look down, he just smiled very slightly and kept driving. He could feel how cold her hand was and stroked it with his thumb. As he did this, she squeezed a bit tighter and stared straight forward at the rain hitting the windshield and the wipers going back and forth. 

They didn’t say a word for the rest of the way back or look at each other, almost pretending not to notice that their hands were touching.

They arrived at the hotel parking garage and found the same space he had before and parked in it. They got out. 

As she started to walk ahead of him a bit towards the elevator, he caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm. He turned her around and pulled her into him, grabbing her side with one hand and her face in the other. As he smiled, he leaned in and kissed her. This time with even more passion. She could feel him smiling while their lips were pressed against each other’s, causing her to smile too and when they broke for a moment she lightly laughed. His grin grew wider.

“What was that for?”, she asked.

“Just needed you to know how glad I am you came with me tonight and made me live in the moment. I haven’t experienced this in a long time.”, he grinned.

She pushed a few pieces of hair out of his face that had flopped over from the rain. She looked him in the eyes.

“Anytime.”, she said softly. “Now, let’s get some sleep. You may have been able to escape your typical duties for a few hours tonight but they start back up in about seven.”

She walked into the elevator as he followed. They rode it up to their floor and walked down the hallway to their rooms.

“Goodnight, Emily. Try and get some sleep.”, he smiled.

“You too, Hotch.”, she smiled back, opening her door and walking in.

She realized she still had his jacket but knew she couldn’t walk back out and down to his room. It would be too risky for anyone to see her. 

She laid it out on the table next to the tv and changed out of her wet clothes.

She dried herself off and threw on her pajama pants and t-shirt. She decided she’d just take a shower in the morning, she was too tired tonight. 

She walked to the bed and turned off the light once she was under the covers. 

She picked up her phone and texted Hotch.

“ _You forgot something_.”, she sent.

“ _Hang onto it. It’s supposed to be cold tomorrow night too_.”, he messaged back.

“ _Why would I need it tomorrow night_?”, she asked.

“ _I hear there’s a good Chinese food restaurant nearby. A bit further than the diner but it sounds great._ ”, he replied.

“ _Well then, I can’t wait to try it_ .”, she sent, before sending another text right after, “ _Goodnight, Hotch_.”

She waited for a moment and decided to set her phone down on the table next to her when nothing came through. Right as her eyes closed her phone buzzed from a text. 

She picked it up and read it, “ _Sleep well, Emily. I’ll see you in the morning_.”, she smiled when she saw Hotch’s name above it.

She was so confused now. _What did this mean? Were they starting something? Was it just today? Were they going to stay friends and keep hanging out or was that all going to stop because of what they talked about? Their actions spoke completely different from their words. Were they going to be more than just friends? Was she okay with that if he was still married? Why was he taking her out to dinner again tomorrow night? What were his intentions?_ She wondered.

She had no idea what to think other than she needed sleep if she was going to prepare for her second day on the case. She was way overthinking. 

She needed as much energy as she could get and although he made her feel a lot of excitement, he also drained all her energy too.

She eventually drifted off to sleep, thinking about him and how much she wanted to be in his arms. _Would it ever happen again?_


	7. Out In The Field

**Chapter 7**

* * *

The next day had been hectic. They got a lead and were able to track down the unsub. They all split up. Emily rode with Derek, Hotch with Gideon, and JJ with Spencer. 

They were racing to a building of loft apartments, ready to storm into it and finally catch the unsub.

Derek was driving while Emily was in the passenger seat. The adrenaline rushing through her body. This was the first time she was going to be out in the field chasing someone.

“You ready to get this son of a bitch?”, Derek asked Emily.

“Definitely.”, she said.

As they pulled up, they got out of the car immediately and ran up to the building and up the stairs inside. 

They had gotten there first. Even though they knew they should wait for the rest of the team before going in, they figured they didn’t have much time. Everyone else was only a few minutes behind, after all.

With their guns drawn, they banged on the door. “FBI!”, Derek yelled.

They heard a glass break and something being thrown on the ground and then footsteps running. He and Emily looked at each other and nodded. Derek kicked the door in and they went inside. 

While they were clearing the rooms, Derek went into the bedroom when he spotted the unsub running down the fire escape, out the window. 

“FBI, stop where you are!”, he screamed at him. He started going after him out the window reaching the fire escape stairs.

“I’ll run down to the alley!”, Emily called out after him.

She ran out the loft and down the stairs in the building and made her way outside, drawing her gun again. She could hear them climbing down the fire escape as she turned the corner to the alley leading to it. The unsub jumped down once he was close enough and Emily started running to him. 

“Stop!”, she yelled at him. He didn’t even turn around, he started climbing a fence and she caught up to him.

She grabbed him and pulled him down. 

Derek still wasn’t down yet but going as fast as he could.

Emily yanked the unsub by his shirt and threw him against the fence and tried to cuff him when he pushed her back and she hit her head on the brick wall. She was tough and moved off it and reached for him and they struggled for a few seconds, in which time he’d gotten a punch in and finally swung his arm and cut her arm with a pocket knife. 

“Ahhh!”, she yelled and he ran away. 

Derek finally got down and ran over to Emily.

“Prentiss!”, he said.

“I’m good, I’m good! He went that way!”, she pointed towards the other end of the alley. 

She took a second before gathering herself and pulled her gun up from the ground, which he’d knocked out of her hand and slid under a dumpster. Once she grabbed it, she began running around to the other side in hopes of cornering the unsub.

After chasing him for a while, Derek lost him and so did Emily. Once they met back, towards the front, everyone else was pulling up in their SUVs fast with the sirens and lights going. Emily walked by Derek’s side, her head down. 

“Dammit!”, she said.

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault, alright? This happens.”, he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Once the cars came to a stop, they all jumped out and put their guns back when they saw Emily and Derek walking back to them. Emily had completely forgotten about her arm.

“What happened?”, Hotch asked, walking up to them.

Emily sighed. “He got away.”, she said, shaking her head, keeping it down. She was too afraid to look at him.

JJ ran up to her. “Oh my god, Emily! Are you alright?”, she exclaimed.

“What?”, she looked down at her bleeding arm. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.”, she said, looking back up. 

Hotch looked at her arm, seriously. “It doesn’t look fine. Morgan, take Prentiss to the E.R. Get that stitched up.”, he ordered.

“Agent Hotchner, really I’m fine, it just needs a bandage wrapped around it.”, she said.

She felt so weird calling him “ _ Agent Hotchner _ ” and not just “ _ Hotch _ ”. And hearing him call her “ _ Prentiss _ ” instead of “ _ Emily _ ” but she knew they had to be professional around others.

“That’s not a request. And we’ll talk about the rest of this later.”, he said.

“The rest of what?”, Derek asked.

JJ stood to the side of them, silent, finally deciding to walk back to the cars where Gideon and Spencer were.

“Well, for one, we need to get a report of what happened exactly. And two, you both went in without my order when we were right behind you.  _ And _ you managed to get your partner injured while doing so.”, he glared at Derek. “So. We will talk about this when we get back to the station. For now, I need you to take Agent Prentiss to get that cut stitched up. Is that clear enough, unlike what just happened?”, he said sternly.

“Yes, sir.”, Derek said, obediently but borderline defiant. 

“Good. I’ll get the crime scene unit down here and tape it off while we go through the loft. I’ll see you back at the station later.”, he told Derek.

He hadn’t made eye contact with Emily the whole time, so once he finally did, right before he walked away, she felt her stomach flop. She felt horrible like she’d disappointed him and angered him. Her first time out in the field, and this happens. Hotch walked away, over to the others and made a phone call.

“Alright, come on.”, Derek waved at Emily to follow him.

As they started walking back to the car, she said, “Seriously, Derek? I’m fine!”

“Listen, it’s not up to me. Hotch will rip my head off if you don’t get checked out and I kind of agree with him anyways. That’s really deep. And besides, I saw him throw a punch once he pushed you and you hit your head on the wall. Yeah, I didn’t tell him that part especially because it hasn’t left a bruise yet but trust me, it will. But if the doctors find anything...”, he said.

“Fine.”, she agreed, holding her hand up as they got in the car and drove to the hospital.

  
  


After getting back to the station and giving their reports on the incident, Emily finally started to feel the 8 stitches she’d gotten. Her arm started to hurt again once the pain meds and numbing wore off.

She was getting ready to leave and go back to the hotel. She grabbed her bag and winced at it slightly. The cut had bled through the bandage a tiny bit but it wasn’t too bad. She’d change it when she got back to her room. Everyone was leaving and Derek walked up to her. 

“You need me to give you a ride?”, he asked.

“Um sure, JJ left earlier. She wasn’t feeling good. She’s usually my ride.”, she replied.

“Alright, lets go.”, he said, grabbing her bag from her. She wasn’t even going to fight it anymore.

“Thanks.”, she sounded relieved, letting a smile pass along her face.

“No problem.”, he smiled back. “How’s the arm?”, he asked as they started walking out.

“It’s not too bad. It’s starting to hurt a little but I think I’ll live.”, she said.

“Good. You just got here not long ago. I’d hate to lose you already.”, he flashed her a smile and looked at her with a sparkle in his eyes. She was definitely picking up on some vibes he was sending. They made their way to the parking lot and got in the large SUV.

“You know, I can see the bruise on your face now. Even in the dark. Did the doctors tell you that you were alright to go back out in the field? You were all cleared?”, he asked.

“Yes! They said I was fine, alright?”, she sounded annoyed.

He started the car and drove out onto the street. “Hey, I’m just checking on you. Wouldn’t want that pretty little face of yours to get messed up more.”, he said in a flirty tone.

“Yeah, yeah. It already kind of did but it’s alright. It’ll go away.”, she said back, not knowing how to reply. She was pretty sure for the past few days that he’d been flirting with her but she couldn’t tell for sure and didn’t necessarily want to do anything back... Partially because of Hotch and partially because this was a new job and she couldn’t get involved in anything. At least not anymore than she already had.

They finally arrived at the hotel and he walked her up to their floor. As they stood outside her door, Hotch opened his, on his way to check on her. Once he saw Derek standing with her, he stopped. 

“You gonna be okay tonight? Do you need anything else, princess?”, Derek said, looking at her with a seductive smile, teasing her slightly.

“I think I’ll be just fine, thanks. It’s only 9:00 but I think I’m just gonna head to bed.”, she smiled back.

He touched her cheek lightly where the bruise was, looking at it and then in her eyes. She just stood still staring in his, right back. 

“You should really ice that. Need me to grab some?”, he asked, now looking down at her lips and back to her eyes. 

Hotch was watching this whole thing happen, fire in his chest. The anger and jealousy taking over everything else. He wanted to walk over to them and push Derek off but he just decided to wait until Derek walked away.

“No, I’ll grab some from the machine down the hall before I go to bed.”, she paused. “Thank you for everything today, really. I’m glad to have a partner like you.”, she said with a smile. He hadn’t stopped smiling and brought his hand down and put it on her shoulder.

“Of course. Sleep well, Prentiss. Call me if you need anything? I’m right down the hall.”, he said, starting to walk away. 

“I will. Have a goodnight, Derek.”, she said, opening her door. She walked in and let it close behind her.

She had completely forgotten about Hotch during that whole exchange she’d just had with her partner until she heard a knock at her door.She set her bag down and took her coat off. 

“Derek, I told you, I’m fine!”, she called out, thinking Derek had come right back to her room.

But it wasn’t Derek. She opened the door and Hotch stood right in front.


	8. Late Night at the Beach

**Chapter 8**

* * *

  
  


“Hotch.”, she paused staring at him in front of her doorway of her hotel room. “What are you doing here?”, she asked. He looked concerned all of a sudden. 

He was in jeans, a gray shirt, and sneakers. _He still looked good in that, again_. She thought.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What happened to your face?”, he asked.

“Unsub got me. It’s nothing, really.”, she tried to play it off.

“It doesn’t look like nothing. You have a huge bruise on your face and a horrible cut that required stitches on your arm. You call that nothing?”, he asked, raising his voice.

“Yes, actually. I’ve had a lot worse done. This is nothing.”, she replied. She waited for him to say something else. He looked frustrated and was silent. They stood there for a moment. He then huffed and started to walk away.

She was so confused as to what just happened and was about to close the door even though she wanted to run after him but she couldn’t do that with everyone else’s rooms being right there.

Right as she stepped back and was about to close the door, he came back.

“Do you know that it hurt me today, to see you hurt like that?”, he said.

She opened the door wider. “Can you just come in... please?”, she asked. He looked around and stepped into her room.

“I’m sorry that I worried you but this is part of the job...”, she said.

She walked over to the mini fridge and bent down to grab a bottle of water.

She walked back over to him. He was standing by the foot of her bed. She stood a foot in front of him, allowing some space.

“I know that. Of course, I know that. But you didn’t have to be in that position. If you and _Morgan_ didn’t go against my orders, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”, he said with a snark at Morgan’s name.

She looked at him curiously, stepping closer. “Is that what this is about? Morgan? Are you upset about something with him?”, she asked, eyeing him.

“No, of course not. I’m upset that you both didn’t follow protocol and you got hurt because of it.”, he said, reaching out for her arm gently with both hands, and looking down at it. “It’s bleeding through this, you need to change the wraps on it.”, he said, stroking the part of her arm not wrapped. He looked back up at her at the same time she did.

“I have some in my bag. Derek and I stopped to get some on the way back here.”, she said.

Hotch released her arm and went to grab the gauze wrapping from her bag.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at her. “Sit.”, he told her.

She walked over and sat beside him.

“Hold out your arm.”, he said.

He unwrapped the bandage from her arm and wrapped a new one around the injury, carefully while focusing on it, while she was staring at him the whole time, intently.

When he finished, he tucked it in at the top and rested it in her lap while he got up to throw out the trash from it.

When he walked back over, she was still sitting down. He stopped in front of her and held out his hand, staring down at her. She took it and let him help her up even though she didn’t really need it.

“Grab my jacket.”, he told her.

“What?”, she asked.

He turned around and grabbed his jacket from the table she’d still had from the night before. He started to put it on her from behind and she helped him fit the sleeves on her arms, pulling them through.

“Where are we going?”, she asked, turning back to him. 

“The beach.”, he said.

“ _What? What_ beach?”, she asked, confused. 

“The pier.”, he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“The _Santa Monica Pier?_ It’s like 9:30 and that’s about 40 minutes away!”, she said.

“Not at 9:30 it isn’t. It’s beautiful out at night there. Have you ever been?”, he asked.

“Well... no...”, she trailed off.

“Out of _all_ the places you’ve traveled, you’ve never been to the Santa Monica Pier! Wow. We’re going. You’re already wearing jeans and a tank top... and my jacket...”, he said with a smirk. “You don’t even need to change. Now, let’s go.”, he almost held out his hand but realized he couldn’t do that once they got in the hallway.

She started following him and grabbed her phone and key. They looked out the door and walked out together. 

Once they got in the elevator, he put his arm around her mid back, landing around her side, through her arm.

She couldn’t help but look at him and smile. Once he turned to her, he didn’t even smile, he just stared at her with loving eyes and she knew what he felt, he didn’t have to smile or say anything to her. 

Once they got off, he held it there until they reached the car. He got in the driver’s seat and her in the passenger again.

Once they got their seat belts buckled, he plugged his phone in and put on a playlist. When Sam Cooke came on, her jaw dropped and she looked over at him, smiling.

“You put this on, on purpose.”, she gasped.

“I may or may not have a 50’s playlist I can share with you now that I know you would love it.”, he chuckled.

“This is perfect music for the drive.”, she said.

“I know. That’s why I picked it.”, he turned over to her to smile. 

Once he pulled the car out and onto the streets driving, his arm rested on the console and this time when she grabbed his hand with hers, she didn’t look straight forward right away. She looked right at him. He could feel her eyes on him and he decided to turn his over to hers at a red light. 

All he could think was how perfect she was. _Even with a huge bruise on her face and looking exhausted, she was still so perfect._

He squeezed her hand a bit tighter and stroked it with his thumb. They listened all the way from Sam Cooke to Johnny Tillotson to Dion & The Belmont’s again.

All the songs were calm and not as much rock ‘n roll which brought some peace to them both especially after a long day. It was so nostalgic. 

They eventually arrived at the beach, still not having let go of each other’s hands. 

They broke apart when they parked. Hotch knew the best spot to park, right by the sand. They both took their shoes off and climbed out of the car.

The colorful lights from the rides on the pier, especially the Ferris Wheel, lit up the beach but it was dark enough for privacy. It just made it more visible for them to be able to see where they were walking.

Emily walked into the sand right away and started running down towards the water. Hotch was surprised. It took him a second before he did too. He just watched her for a moment, watched how happy she was, watched how cute she was with her arms out, feeling the breeze as she was moving through it. 

He then followed after her. 

“Emily!”, he called after her, laughing. “Wait!”, he said.

She stopped and turned around, waiting for him to catch up. Once he got to her, she grabbed his hands and slowly walked backwards, leading him.

She didn’t know where they stood with each other. _Were they just friends? Were they more? He was married... but how did he feel?_ She wondered.

She decided to take a chance anyways, even after last night being so confusing and so... on and off. 

She stopped and pulled him in closer to her, grabbing his sides and wrapping her arms around him. She looked up at him and reached her head up to his and before she leaned in to kiss him, he beat her to it. Their lips meeting as his arms wrapped around her body as well.

She felt so secure when he held her there. They rocked back and forth slightly. When their lips left each other’s, it was only for a moment before they brought them back together, sinking into one another again. 

He stopped asking himself what he was doing and why. Because although he knew it was wrong, it didn’t feel like it anymore and all he could do was enjoy what was happening. Her lips were so sweet and his heart melted whenever he felt them and she felt the exact same way.

He felt like a teenager again, making out with a girl on the beach at night after sneaking out. It sounded ridiculous but it thrilled the both of them.

He pulled back slightly and she opened her eyes and bit her lip in a seductive way and smiled. She looked into his eyes and could see them sparkle when he smiled so genuinely at her. 

“I know this sounds so stupid and it’s a total cliché but it really feels like I’ve known you for so long...”, he said.

“Well... probably because you have. You know... I used to watch you whenever you were around when you worked with my mom. I know we talked and all but I used to watch you even when we didn’t.”, she said.

He raised an eyebrow and laughed, “Oh, _reaaalllyyy?_ ”

She bit down on her lip again and smirked, “Mmmhmmmm.”

“That’s pretty cute. I can’t say I never noticed you either when you weren’t paying attention.”, he said.

“Oh _reaaalllyyy_?”, she said, mocking him.

“Mmmhmmmm.”, he said, mocking her right back. They both laughed at this.”But I never thought I’d be doing this.”

“Doing _what_?”, she asked.

“ _This_ .”, he said, kissing her. “ _Aaaand_ this.”, kissing her again. “And this.”, kissing her again.

“Oh. _That_. Yeah, I can’t say I imagined that happening either.”, she said smiling before reaching up for another kiss.

They both didn’t want to leave each other’s arms or lips but she eventually did.

Emily turned around and started running for the water again, giggling. He stood there again for a minute, watching her, with a stupid grin on his face, feeling like a fool but loving it anyways.

“ _Wait_!”, he shouted, laughing. 

She stopped once her feet hit the shoreline with water barely coming up on it every few seconds. 

He caught up to her and slowed down, walking around to face her front. 

Because of the moonlight and lights from the rides on the pier, he could see a tear trickling down her face. 

“Emily, what’s wrong?”, he asked, bringing his thumb to her cheek, gently wiping it away. It was falling down the side of her face where she’d been hit by the unsub earlier. 

She wasn’t responding to him. He held her face and placed a soft kiss on the bruise, soft enough so it wouldn’t hurt, and it didn’t. It made her close her eyes and smile. 

He grabbed her hands, “Here, come on.”, he said and sat down on the sand, guiding her down with him.

Once she was beside him, she leaned to the side, onto him and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as he could. 

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?”, he asked.

“I just haven’t gotten to do this for a while. This is so gorgeous. Last time I was in such a beautiful place, being able to enjoy it, was when I was working at Interpol and... I didn’t get to actually feel and take in all the beauty of it because so much darkness was a part of that time. It’s really hard to explain and I can’t even go into all of it. I really wish I could... but...”, she sighed.

“I understand, Em. It’s okay.”, he said, stroking her hair. 

“I’m just glad to be able to enjoy it with you and not have to pretend to with... somebody else.”, she sniffled.

“Shhhh... it’s alright. I’m right here, okay? You’ve got me. Nobody is here but us. You’re okay.”, he said in a hushed tone, still stroking her hair which was starting to calm her down a bit even though she wasn’t freaking out or panicking or anything of the sorts. 

“I know. Thank you.”, she said, leaning back into him grabbing one of his arms. He moved her hair out of the way of her neck and brought his lips to it, making her shiver. He rested his head in the crook of her neck. 

He didn’t know if he should bring up the topic because they were having such a nice time but he couldn’t hide his jealousy. Besides, they didn’t usually get a whole lot of time alone like this.

“That whole thing with Derek earlier... what was that?”, he asked her.

“What whole thing?”, she asked.

“You know, the whole calling you princess thing and putting his hand on your face, staring into your eyes.”, he said, irritated.

“How do you know that? Were you spying on us?”, she said jokingly. 

“No. I was walking out to come check on you when I saw him in front of your door with you. I couldn’t really interrupt so... I just waited till he was done having his hands all over you.”, he snarked. 

She let out a half laugh and looked back at him. “ _You’re jealous!_ ”, she said.

“No. I just wanted to know if two people on my team are getting involved in anything is all.”, he said, not so convincingly.

“Well, don’t worry then. There’s _nothing_ going on there. I think he wants there to be but there’s _not_.”, she said.

“Good. I’m glad we could talk about that.”, he said childishly, in a stubborn tone.

She tried so hard not to laugh at it. She thought it was cute how he was jealous but wouldn’t even admit it. _And_ how he was already going to check on her right when she had gotten back. 

“Well, you don’t sound too convinced.”, she said.

“It’s all good. I trust your judgment on the situation.”, he told her.

“Look who’s sounding so professional and serious all of a sudden. Alright, _Agent Hotchner_ , what else do I have to do to convince you that there’s nothing going on between me and _Agent Morgan_?”, she sarcastically said, unwrapping herself from his arms.

He glared at her, half amused. “Alright, alright.”, he said, putting his hands up and nodding his head.

Emily stared at him for a second before she got on top of him, laying him down on his back in the sand. He laughed, “Emily, what are you doing?”

His whole body was laying straight, flat on his back, and she was sitting on his waist with her legs on either side of him, hovering over his face and body, almost lying on him. She flipped her hair out of the way and kissed the side of his neck going down, while her hands and arms were wrapped around his neck. 

He brought his hands to her waist, laughing. “ _Emily_ , what are you doing?”, he asked again.

“Whatever I want.”, she said smiling on his neck as she moved to the other side, placing more gentle kisses on it. “Proving to you that there’s _nothing_ going on between me and Derek.”, she said.

He chuckled, “Oh, alright, well... I think I may need a little more convincing.”

“Oh _really_?”, she said, smirking when she pulled back to look in his eyes.

“Yeah, maybe just a bit.”, he said, smiling, bringing a hand from grabbing her waist, up to her hair. He twirled his fingers in her curls and held a handful of them as she leaned down onto him again, smiling back at him. She brought her hands to the sides of his face. As their lips made contact again, they both felt at ease. It was slow and easy. 

They could feel the ocean breeze through their hair and the smell of the salt water coming from it. The sound of the waves moving against each other and the wooden pillars holding up the boardwalk. 

The sand was soft but cool and the moonlight, with the moon not quite full yet but getting close. They felt all alone, nobody else on the beach except for people up on the boardwalk of the pier and if anything, that brought a sense of something they couldn’t quite explain but loved knowing there was life and light near them. 

They could overhear laughing and shouting and the sounds all the games and rides made but it still felt like they were alone where they were at, that everything else was still.

Hotch looked at her in between kisses and said quietly, without even thinking, “You’re _so beautiful,_ Emily.” She smiled at that and kept kissing him, while she stroked her hands through his hair and onto his skin. 

She was now lightly grinding on him slowly and removed her lips and tongue from his and began kissing his neck again, still running her fingers through his hair. 

He began to feel a heat rise in him. Especially one area in particular. He knew he couldn’t let anything like that happen. And he noticed the hand on her waist had moved down and around more. He didn’t necessarily want to move it, so he didn’t yet. 

He released her hair from his hand and tried to pull it back behind her ear.

While this drove him crazy, what she was doing, he knew he had to stop it.

“Em... Em, you gotta stop...”, he whispered in her ear. She pulled back lightly, hands going to his chest and hair falling over him. He tucked it behind her ear again, holding her face there. She was breathing as heavy as he was.

“I’m sorry, did I...”, she started.

“No, no, no. You didn’t do anything wrong, definitely not. Not at all.”, he laughed and waited till she did too before continuing, “I just can’t keep... going right now or...”

That’s when she felt it. Her shoulders shrugged up in a shy but cute way and she giggled, “Oh. _That_ ...sorry.”, she blushed, then leaning down to kiss him one more time. His hand from her face and hair, now on the same spot as his other hand, _way_ below her waist.

When she broke apart from him, she reluctantly climbed off him and onto the side, sitting in the sand again. He sat up and scooted over to her, one leg straight out and the other brought up almost to his chest while both of hers were but open more, able to let him in more. 

“I’m sorry.”, he said, looking down, arm resting on his knee that was up.

She placed her hand on his face. “Hotch, it’s okay, really. I’m glad actually...”, she whispered.

He looked up and into her eyes. “What?”, he said shocked.

“I’m glad because now I know what I can do to you, how I can make you feel.”, she said with a smirk.

He couldn’t believe she just said that. He leaned in and kissed her. “You’re amazing.”, he told her, looking in her eyes again.

“You are too, Hotch.”, she smiled.

“Okay, listen, my tongue has been on the inside of your mouth... you can call me by my first name.”, he chuckled.

“Good point... _Aaron_.”, she let out a laugh as she leaned in and kissed him again, deep. 

“Should we head back?”, he asked, rubbing her back.

She grabbed his arm and pulled herself into him. Both his knees were up now and spread. She backed into them as he held her there and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest and looked out at the ocean.

“I wanna watch _this_ for a while, if that’s alright. Take it all in.”, she said.

“Of course.”, he said, planting a kiss on the top of her head. He took her hands in his and they stayed there for another hour, watching the moon’s reflection on the water as the waves crashed against the shore. They eventually got up and started taking a walk down the beach along the water, his arm around her, while she leaned into him. 

At one point when they paused while they were talking, he stopped and turned her to face him. He put both his hands around her face as she put her arms around his stomach and he kissed her, with so much meaning he didn’t even have to use any words. This made her melt and she couldn’t remember the last time she had a moment of pure happiness like this. 

She looked up at him, biting her lip and smiling again, “We should probably head back now. It’s most likely past 12:00.”, she said.

“You’re right. Come on.”, he said, putting his arm around her again. 

Once they got back to the car he stood in front of her as she backed against the car door.

He held her face again and leaned against her. “Why do you do this to me?”, he asked, looking deep into her eyes before placing his lips on hers. It was his favorite thing to do when he was around her, just hold her and kiss her. And she always reciprocated which made him feel even better. 

“I could ask you the same thing.”, she said, smiling at him. “It feels weird calling you “ _Aaron”_...”, she admitted. 

“Oh?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I guess because even years ago, it was “ _Agent Hotchner”_ and it’s supposed to be that or _“Sir”_ or even “ _Hotch_ ”. But still... around others, being so new, it would even be weird for me to call you “ _Hotch”_.”, she said.

“I guess that’s true but don’t think of me as your boss when we’re out like this. When we’re at work, then definitely, yes. But right now, I’m _not_ your boss .”, he chuckled. 

“Well, can I think of you as my boss even outside of work a _little_?”, she asked with a shy smile and flirtatious, seductive eyes.

“ _Oh. Well_. Whatever you’d like to think.”, he said seductively, leaning in for another kiss. They both smiled and then laughed mid kiss. 

“But... Aaron, where does this leave everything? You’re still married...”, she hesitated on saying.

He kissed her cheek below her bruise and looked back at her, stroking her skin and hair. “I don’t know. We’ll talk about it more when we get back home.”, he kissed her one last time before they both got in the car and he turned the music back on. 

This time, “ _A Teenager In Love_ ” by Dion and The Belmont’s came on, the same song that played in the diner the night before. They looked at each other and smiled as he started driving forward, back to the hotel, with a warm feeling inside both their chests and just a hint of guilt too.


	9. First Last Night

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Everyone had just gotten back to the police station. Emily was standing alone in the room where they’d set up their board with all their case information. She was taking down all the pictures of the victims, maps, graphs, and everything they’d use to work the case.

She looked through the window and watched Derek walk the unsub into the interrogation room with another cop.

She walked to the table and started putting away all the files in the box.

“Hey.” She looked up and saw Hotch walking over to her.

“Hey...”, she said back. He started to help her but she grabbed the files from his hands.

“I don’t need any help.”, she snapped. 

He stood up more, backing his hands away.

“Okay... can I do anything to help?”, he asked her.

“Nope. I’ve got it.”, she said, continuing her task, not looking at him. He was close but not too close where it would be inappropriate in case anyone saw.

“Alright... what’s going on?”, he asked, furrowing his brows but raising one.

“Nothing, I’m all good.”, she stated.

“Okay, well, you don’t seem like it. Are you upset with me?”, he asked.

She stopped what she was doing and crossed her arms, facing him. “What was that today?”, she asked him, slightly tempered. 

He put his hands on his hips. “What was what?”, he asked.

“I could’ve gotten him but you went ahead and told me not to move in even though we had him.”, she said.

“Emily, your arm is still injured and you’re lucky you didn’t get a concussion yesterday. I can’t have you going after an unsub who hurt you like that just 24 hours ago. I knew I’d be able to get him and this way, you were able to get to the victim. It’s a win, win. We got him.”, he said.

“No. You got him.”, she said, starting to sound angry.

“It’s a team effort, I’m not taking all the credit for it. I’m not trying to minimize the work you put in. You risked a lot yesterday and not only have we saved a life, we caught the man who was doing this. Take the win.”, he told her.

“Yeah, easy for you to say.”, she snarked, going back to cleaning up.

“Listen, I’m sorry if it seemed unfair for whatever reason-“, he started before she cut him off.

She faced him again, pointing her finger at him. “No, you don’t get to do some half-assed apology. Tell me, if it was JJ or Reid or even Morgan, would you have done what you did?”, she asked.

“I was protecting you, Emily.”, he said.

She let out a sarcastic laugh, looking over to the side and back to him.

“If it was anybody else would you have protected them?”, she asked.

“You’re not just anybody else.”, he said.

“Well, on the job, I am. I didn’t need protecting, Aaron. It made me feel like I was being held back. I knew my abilities were far beyond what you allowed me to prove.”, she said.

He crossed his arms and stared at her seriously. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”, he said.

“Good. Thank you.”, she said, nodding down. 

“The whole team is going out for dinner tonight before we hit the jet.”, he said, waiting for her to respond in some way. 

All she did was make a sound, “Hm.”

“We were planning on going to that Chinese food restauarant I was telling you about, the one we didn’t get to go to last night.”, he said. She still didn’t fully acknowledge what he was saying.

He looked around to see if anyone could see them, once he noticed no one was around or looking, he placed his hand on her back. “Emily-“, he started.

She took his hand off her back. “We’re at work.”, she snapped. 

“Fine... Do you need a ride back to the hotel before dinner? I was going to head out right now but I can wait a few minutes.”, he said.

“No, I’m gonna ride with Derek.”, she said, finally bringing her head up to face him.

His face was blank, trying hard not to react. “Alright. I’ll see you at dinner then...”, he said and walked out. 

She felt somewhat bad for giving him so much crap but she was pissed and he wasn’t being too professional while they were working. She realized now, how much she hated being mad at him and wished she could apologize and just give him a hug. She knew she couldn’t right now. 

After a few minutes, Derek poked his head in, bag around his shoulder.

“Ready to go, Princess?”, he teased.

“So ready.”, she laughed.

As they walked to the elevator, he stood close and slung his arm around her. They started talking and laughing and once they got down to the parking lot, she spotted Hotch, a few cars down, unlocking his SUV. 

He looked over at her and Derek, who were laughing and she knew exactly what he was thinking when she saw his eyes on the arm wrapped around her shoulders and neck.

He looked angry and she looked at him with an apologetic look on her face. He looked away and got in his car as Derek and Emily did the same, Derek completely oblivious during the whole exchange, still talking.

  
  


When Emily got to her hotel room, she already had everything packed, except for Hotch’s jacket. 

She walked over to the table, grabbing it and sat down on the edge of her bed. She held it close to her and smelled it. It smelled like him still. Like his cologne. 

She almost decided to change out of her black pantsuit, light pink t shirt, and black boots but didn’t want to take too much time, knowing that everyone else would probably still be in their work clothes. 

She walked over to her bag and stuffed the jacket in and zipped it up. She walked out of her room, carrying her bag and Derek walked out of his room at the same time.

“You riding with me?”, he asked, walking up next to her.

“Yup.”, she smiled.

“Well, let’s go, I’m starving!”, he said.

  
  


Once they arrived at the restaurant, Emily took her jacket off and set it in the back of the car. They got out of the car and met everyone inside. They all walked to a large round table set up outside in the back. 

There were lights hung around and only a few other tables near them. They all sat down. Emily sat in between Derek and JJ. Hotch was all the way across the table from her and she looked over at him a few times throughout their conversations and laughing. But he never looked at her once. She felt bad, like she’d really upset him. All she wanted to do was talk to him. 

After they all ordered, everyone handed their menus to the server. 

Derek leaned over and whispered something in Emily’s ear that made her giggle and they looked at each other, both of them laughing while he placed his hand on her thigh. She barely noticed it at first but then he squeezed it and she blushed. 

Hotch had all of a sudden been paying attention to them once she had started laughing and could see Derek’s hand move down and noticed it hadn’t come back up. Once he saw her cheeks change colors, he knew what he was doing. And she wasn’t stopping him. His heart started racing and his blood pressure became high. 

All of a sudden, Hotch’s phone started buzzing. He pulled it out of his suit jacket, he looked at it and it was Haley calling him.

Emily looked over at him, mid-laugh and once she saw him sigh with frustration, her smile faded. 

He got up and looked over at the team as he started to walk away. “I’ll be right back.”, he said.

“No worries, take your time.”, JJ called after him.

When he looked back at JJ, he could see Derek’s hand moving higher up on Emily’s thigh under the table. She didn’t move it. It angered him more. 

He was glad for a distraction but a call from his wife was not the type he was hoping for when he was getting angry in the moment about someone else putting their hands on Emily when it should be him. 

After almost 10 minutes had passed, Emily became more and more nervous. Derek’s hand still hadn’t moved off her leg, just rubbed it. Hotch still wasn’t back and she was worried about him. She thought she should check on him and this might be a good time to be able to talk to him and give him his jacket back, no matter how much she wanted to hold onto it.

She turned to Derek. “Hey, I’m getting a little chilly, can I have the keys to the car? I’m gonna go grab my jacket.”, she said.

“Sure.”, he said, removing his hand from her leg and reaching into his pocket to grab the keys. 

“Thanks, I’ll be back in a few.”, she said, placing her hand on his shoulder as she got up and walked away. 

She made her way through the restaurant, anxiety through the roof, anticipating what was going to happen next when she saw Hotch outside. 

She felt bad for lying to Derek about why she was getting up but she knew she had to do this. 

She made her way outside and saw him standing by his SUV, talking on the phone. He hadn’t look over at her. She didn’t want to interrupt, so she walked to the one her and Derek had rode in and opened it, grabbing her jacket. She almost grabbed Hotch’s from her bag but decided to just wait till they got back to the BAU to return it to him.

As she was about to close the car door, she heard him get off the phone. She set her jacket down on the seat again and shut the door, locking it, walking over to him slowly. 

She approached him carefully, seeing as he was upset. He was leaning against the car and had his arms crossed with his head down until he heard her walking over, which in that moment, he brought it up and opened his eyes.

“Hey...”, she said.

She walked up and stopped right next to him, leaning against the car as well but facing him.

“You don’t want to be around me right now. I’m not in a good mood.”, he said.

“That’s fine but I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”, she said.

“It’s not something to talk about with you, alright?”, he snapped.

“Listen, I know I was kind of a bitch to you earlier but I still let you know what was bothering me.”, she said.

“Yeah and then ignored me for the rest of the conversation. Emily, I just need space here, in this moment, okay?”, he said, standing up and walking forward a bit, away from her. She didn’t accept that. She followed him and grabbed his arm, making him face her.

“Emily, I’m serious.”, he warned her, his body trembling, trying to hold it together.

“Aaron, stop.”, she said.

She pulled him back to the side of the car. His back against it, while she faced him. She reached up to fix his hair that had flopped. She ran her fingers through it once, bringing that hand back down the back of his head and on his neck, keeping it there. Her other hand laid flat on his chest. She could feel his strong pulse on his warm skin on his neck and his heart almost beating out of his chest. She looked in his eyes until he reached hers. 

“What’s got you so stressed?”, she asked.

“It’s Haley.”, he admitted.

“Oh...”, she didn’t quite know what to say to that.

“She’s... upset about how I’m never home. But... she knew that before. She’s always known that’s part of the job but ever since Jack was born, it’s an issue. It just seems like all we do anymore is fight and... I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it work.”, he sighed.

She was silent. She felt off, touching him like this when he’s talking about problems with his wife but she didn’t want to let go of him. He finally seemed to be somewhat calming down and opening up. He noticed her silence.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bringing that up with you. I told you...”, he cursed at himself.

She brought his face back to hers.

“Until you get back, there’s nothing to do. You’re here. Right now, you’re here. Ground yourself.”, she said, trying to get his level back down to normal. He sighed. He grabbed her and they held each other.

His voice spoke in her ear, “I’m sorry about today. I am. It won’t happen again. I was just worried about what he could do to you again and I didn’t want to risk it. But you were right. I probably wouldn’t have done that with any of the others. It wasn’t right.”, he apologized. 

She squeezed him hard, rubbing his back while his hand was holding the back of her head.

“I know. I know. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m sorry.”, she said.

They pulled back and looked from each other’s lips to their eyes. He pulled her into him again, guiding her lips to his. They could feel the relief in one another that they were alright again. 

Their mouths stayed closed this time and just lasted as one long, deep kiss. 

“Just for tonight. I’m here. For this. With this. For you. Tonight.”, she said with a soft smile.

He brought his hand to her face. “Does it hurt still?”, he asked, lightly tracing around the bruise on her face with his thumb.

“A little, but I’ll be okay.”, she said smiling.

“I hate that that happened. I hate seeing you like that.”, he told her, sounding hurt.

“I’m fine, Aaron. I’ve been icing it. Derek’s been on my ass about it.”, she said, trying to lighten the mood.

Her body was pressed against his and her hands on his chest, now moving down to around his waist. He moved one of his hands down to around her, holding her closer, and the other stayed on her face. 

He rolled his eyes when she said Derek’s name. “What is it with you when I bring up Derek?”, she asked, laughing.

“You said there was nothing going on between you two.”, he said.

“Uh, yeah and I think I made it pretty clear last night when I was on top of you.”, she laughed again. He smiled and looked her in the eyes again.

“Yes, that was convincing but maybe not enough after seeing him put his hand so far up your thigh-“, he couldn’t finish his sentence before she stopped him.

“Okay, listen. That was him, not me. He put his hand on my leg. He squeezed my leg. That’s all. I didn’t do anything back.”, she said.

“Well, he might get the wrong idea if you don’t tell him anything...”, he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine. Next time, I’ll talk to him. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s not like he tried to kiss me or do anything else. You know, nothing like this...”, she smirked, bringing her hand around and sliding it up his chest and back down to his belt buckle, tugging it, teasing him.

When she did that, Hotch couldn’t help himself, he brought her face to his and opened his mouth almost right away. 

They were making out almost exactly like the last night. His tongue sliding around in her mouth as hers did the same, lips crashing against one another’s, barely coming up for breath. His hands moved down to her ass and grabbed her, while her hand stayed, holding onto his belt. 

When he did this, she moaned into his mouth. He could feel himself growing harder in his pants and knew he had to stop but didn’t want to. 

They were at the back of the parking lot, they had complete privacy. He flipped her around and now her back was against the car and he was on top of her. 

He kissed her deep as she let out a sound, letting him know she was enjoying this.

“Mmmmmmm.”, she hummed through their lips as she brought her hands up to his hair and he kept his where they were before. He wanted to know what she felt like there without clothes covering it. 

He released his lips from hers and brought them to her neck as he nipped at her skin, wanting to leave hickeys on her but knowing he couldn’t. When he started to, she gasped and moaned, biting down on her lip. 

She grabbed a handful of his hair, tight, tugging it, trying to hold on so much. She bit down on her lip so hard, she almost drew blood.

He started grinding against her as she used her hips to do the same. While still kissing her neck, he buried his face in it and her hair and whispered, breathy in her ear, “I want you so bad right now, Em.”

She held onto him, still moving against his body hard. “I know, me too.”, she let out in pants. 

He moved onto her more and slowly stopped. He knew they couldn’t keep going and eventually had to stop. She could feel him, hard against her through his pants, making her want him even more, knowing he was ready. 

They were both breathing hard and he sucked on her neck one more time as she let out a whimper. 

He reached his hand up to the side of her face and held her tight as he brought his lips back to hers, deep. Both of them, deeply inhaling before he broke away from the kiss. 

He moved her hair out of her face.

Catching his breath, he said, “Maybe it’s best we’re flying back tonight...”

“Yeah... I guess so. The things we would’ve done...”, she said, laughing under her breath. He did the same. 

“They’re probably wondering where both of us are.”, she said.

“Oh my god, I completely forgot.”, he said, bringing his fist up to his mouth as they both laughed. He stroked her arm down, holding onto it as he stepped back from her, giving her space to get up and move. Once she took a few steps, he pulled her forward and kissed her again. 

“You have to go in first. I don’t know what you told them as an excuse to come out here but I’m sure it didn’t have to take that long.”, he told her. 

“You’re right.”, she said, running around to the other side of her SUV as she grabbed her jacket from the car and put it on before locking the car again.

She came back around to his side and pulled him in close by his tie and crashed her lips onto his. When she released him, she said, “You take a minute; I’ll see you back out there.”, as she winked at him. 

He put his hands in his pockets and watched her walk away, back inside.

He did need to calm himself back down before walking inside and to the patio to see the rest of his team. It was hard to when all he could think about was Emily. Good thing it was cold outside.

Emily walked back to the table where her friends sat. Everyone’s food was there and they had already started eating but not very much yet.

She sat down as they all stopped talking and stared at her. 

“What?”, she asked, handing Derek the keys back, looking around at everyone.

“You took 18 minutes and 7 seconds to grab a jacket from the car?”, Spencer asked.

“I almost went outside to see if you were still alive but I knew Hotch was out there so you’d be alright.”, JJ said.

“I- I got a phone call while I was out there.”, she lied.

“From who, Prentiss? And don’t say your mom, because you told us you barely speak with her. And don’t say a friend because no offense, but, we’re pretty much the only friends you have and it couldn’t have been work because we are all right here. So... is there some mystery man in your life?”, Derek asked.

Her mouth dropped. She was shocked and offended, as JJ and Spencer laughed. Even Gideon joined them for a second.

“I’ll have you know that I do have other friends, besides you guys. Not very many but they exist and no. There’s no mystery man.”, she said, blushing.

“You’re blushing!”, JJ squealed.

“N- no, I’m not. Could you just- not do- ahh.”, she said, trying to convince them at first but terribly failed.

“Now she’s stuttering...”, Gideon joked with them.

She looked down at her food frustrated but trying not to laugh too. “Avoiding eye contact.”, Spencer pointed out.

“How’s everyone’s food so far? This hot and sour soup is really good.”, she said as she took a sip of it.

“Aaaaannd she’s changing the subject now.”, Derek laughed, giving her a playful shove, right as Hotch walked back over to them. 

She looked over at him at that moment, noticing he saw that and she pulled away from Derek, staring down at her soup, shy. He tried not to look in her direction too much but it was hard.

“What are we all talking about?”, Hotch asked everyone as he sat down.

“Emily’s secret boyfriieeendd.”, said Derek, all of them teasing her. She looked at him uncomfortable. He knew he had to play along even though he didn’t want to. 

“Ohhhh. Emily, is there a special someone in your life?”, he said raising an eyebrow, starting to let out a laugh, thinking back to what they had just done in the parking lot.

She knew that’s where his mind was at and she let out a laugh too as she said, “The only man that will be in my life anytime soon is a cat if I get one. I do not know anybody or have any way or meeting somebody right now. So... no.”

“Em, what are you talking about?”, JJ said, nudging her. “You’re hot stuff. You could get any guy you want.”, she continued, quietly through closed teeth out of the corner of her mouth. 

“You know what?”, she said, throwing her hands up, “We are done talking about this. No man now. No man anytime soon. No man at all. And remind me to not let you know when there is.”

“Oh, don’t worry, princess. We’ll figure it out. That’s what we’re trained to do.”, Derek clicked and winked at her. 

Hotch did not like that but he buried his jealousy beneath the surface. “Keep dreaming.”, she said to him, rolling her eyes.

“You know, Emily... I’ll respect that boundary of yours, seeing as I’m the only one who doesn’t take much interest in that part of your personal life. And also it’s personal. So don’t worry about me.”, Reid chuckled.

“And me too.”, Gideon said, raising his hand up. She chuckled and they all looked down at their food and continued to eat again. 

After a minute, she looked up to see if Hotch was and he looked up at her at the same time. He smirked at her and she flashed him a shy smile, hiding it from the rest of the team when they looked back down at their food.

She loved what they had. So did he. They didn’t want it to end but he had to figure something out with this when he got back. He couldn’t let Emily cloud his judgement on decisions in his marriage but he had to partially. Not Emily specifically but the fact that he was drawn to another woman and has already made out and almost slept with her, not to mention, built an emotional connection with her, while still married.

That was an issue. Especially the fact that he didn’t want to stop it.

They both knew that when they got back to Quantico, they had to talk and neither of them wanted to. 

  
  
  
  
  



	10. First Goodbye

**Chapter 10**

* * *

  
  


As the team was walking out of the restaurant that night, Emily was headed out with Derek. Hotch was walking to his SUV, when he stopped at their cars. 

“Prentiss. Ride with me, we need to talk about the case and debrief.”, Hotch said, half nodding, giving her a stern look. He hopped in the car and started it.

Emily looked over at Derek and he seemed surprised. “I’ll be alright, I just hope he doesn’t go crazy on you about yesterday. Let me take the fall for that, alright?”, Derek said.

“You know I can’t do that.”, she said, putting her hand on his chest and sliding it down as she walked around to the other side of their SUV to grab her bag.

She had to do something to make it seem like she didn’t have someone special in her life and if flirting with Derek was it, then that’s what she’d do. Besides he wasn’t too bad to look at. 

She walked back around to the other side and put her hand on Derek’s shoulder and squeezed it as she continued towards Hotch’s car. “I’ll see you on the jet.”, she said.

“Good luck.”, Derek replied. She smiled back at him and opened the back door throwing her bag in and then getting in the front seat.

Hotch had taken his suit jacket off and was still wearing the button up and tie. 

She looked over at him. “So, did you really want to talk about what happened yesterday or what happened last night and tonight?”, she asked. 

“Both, actually.”, he said.

“Oh?”, she asked, nervous. He could hear it in her voice. Once he could tell that nobody could see them, he placed his hand on her thigh. 

“Don’t be worried.”, he told her in a calming tone.

“Okay...?”, she said. He removed his hand and backed out of the parking lot, driving into the streets before any of the rest of the team. He continued on down the streets for a while before they broke the silence.

“I know I said I wouldn’t do this during work times but-“, he said but she cut him off by putting her hand on his shoulder and resting her elbow on the console. 

“Aaron, it’s fine. It’s not the same. Any chance to spend time with you, without making it seem suspicious, is nice.”, she said with a smile. 

He didn’t look back at her because he was driving but he smiled too. “I kind of don’t want this time here to end...”, he said in a sad tone. “I mean, I’m glad we finished the case... but this time with you...”, he trailed off.

“I know.”, she said, bringing her hand to his head and rubbing the side and back of it, lovingly. 

They finally pulled up by the jet and nobody else was there yet. Everyone was at least a few minutes behind them. 

They grabbed their bags and got on the jet.

“Is it weird if we sit next to each other?”, she asked him. 

“I don’t know. Do you think they suspected anything back there at dinner?”, he asked.

“I honestly don’t know. I think they knew something was going on but not necessarily between us.”, she said.

“Just to be safe, we probably shouldn’t sit right next to each other.”, he said, motioning towards the seats. “Here, sit across.”

They walked all the way down the aisle and sat down in seats across from each other. She sat against the wall, facing the entrance, watching for the rest of the team to get on. She moved forward in her seat, moving her leg against his when he took out his phone. He looked up at her. 

“Okay, you can’t be doing that on here when there are other people around.”, he chuckled.

She smirked and slid her hand up his leg, all the way to his tie and pulled him forward with it. She brought his mouth to hers, not quite touching though. 

“Come sit next to me. No one... is here yet.”, she smiled seductively, looking down at his lips and biting her own. 

He got up and sat down next to her. He looked out the window to check, and there were still no other cars. He looked back at her and her head leaning against the seat, staring at him with a soft smile on her face. He did the same and then he grabbed her face, the side not bruised, not leaning against the seat, and brought her lips to his. 

She placed a hand on top of his thigh. It made his insides tighten more when she did that. He groaned quietly when she started rubbing it up and down and kissed her harder. His mouth opening as hers did too, tongues dancing around with each other’s. They pulled away for air. 

“There are so many things I want to do with you.”, he said, looking in her eyes.

“I know. There are so many things I want to do to you.”, she said, licking her lips and biting her bottom one. They both laughed and he kissed her forehead. 

“I’m going to see if there’s any ice in here.”, he said, getting up and walking to the back. 

In the mini fridge, there was a small ice tray. He popped a few cubes out and grabbed some napkins and wrapped the ice cubes in them.

He walked back over to her and sat down across from her once he saw the cars pulling up outside. He held up the makeshift ice pack to her face.

“Aaron.”, she warned him, irritated that he was doing this, taking care of her when she always said she was fine.

“Emily. Ice. Scoot. Closer.”, he scolded her. She rolled her eyes and scooted closer, resting her arms on his knees, avoiding irritating the stitches, sticking her face out, letting him place the ice pack on her bruise. She hissed at the cold touch. 

“I knew it hurt. See, that’s why you don’t try and lie to me about these things. I always know.”, he said, cocky.

“Yeah, well... whatever. I don’t have anything good to say back. You win this one.”, she said smiling again.

“Here, take it.”, he said. She grabbed the ice pack and scooted back as they heard people coming up the steps onto the jet.

“Took you guys long enough!”, Emily said to JJ and Spencer with Gideon and Derek following close behind. 

“Yeah, well, somebody sped off quite fast.”, JJ said.

Hotch turned his head around. “What can I say? I’m exhausted. I may even take a nap on here.”, he said.

Derek came on. “I hear that. I think I might do the same.”, he said.

Gideon looked over at Spencer, “What do you say, kid? Think you got it this time? Think you can really put me in check mate?”, Gideon asked.

“Oh, absolutely.”, Spencer replied. They set up a board at the front of the jet.

Derek and JJ set their things down in the middle section on the couch shaped area. 

Derek got up to grab a water and Emily decided to go and thank him for everything. “Hey, you.”, she said.

“Hey yourself, girl. What’d he say?”, Derek asked.

“Oh, we’re totally fine on that. Just a warning pretty much but still good work.”, she said.

“He had you ride with him, just to say that?”, he asked.

“Well, we talked through the whole thing and that ended up being the conclusion.”, she said, hoping that would get him to back off a little. 

“Ah. Well, I’m glad he didn’t bite your head off.”, he laughed. “Good work, by the way. It’s impressive.”, he said.

“It’s not my first time chasing criminals. I’ve been doing it for a little while.”, she said.

“Still, I’m glad to be partners with you. You’re a gifted agent, Emily Prentiss.”, he flashed her a smile with his pearly whites and went to go sit down next to JJ. He put his headphones on and closed his eyes as she leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes as well, quickly falling asleep. 

Emily returned to her seat across from Hotch who was leaning back, legs crossed and stretched out further more now. 

No one was looking so she did the same with her legs next to his, touching on the sides, where no one could see unless they walked up to them. He looked up at that and turned around.

“You’re fine.”, she whispered.

“It’s too risky...”, he whispered back, sitting up and bringing his legs back to normal position.

“Sorry...”, she apologized.

“It’s fine. I just- not here.”, he said.

She was about to text him so they could talk privately without everyone hearing them but realized, having texts on his phone like that from her... probably not the best idea. He put his phone away and looked at her. 

“I’m going to take a nap. Wake me if you need me and when we land.”, he said to her.

“Seriously?”, she asked, laughing a bit.

“Yes, seriously. I’m exhausted.”, he turned around real quick before leaning in closer and whispered, “Someone kept me up late... didn’t get much sleep.”, he smirked.

She blushed at that. “Alright, sir. I’ll let you know when we land.”, she tried to hide a laugh.

He grabbed his small, travel size pillow and laid sideways across the two seats and curled up, closing his eyes. She waited a minute before getting up. She watched him doze off as she let a small smile pass on her face. He’s so cute when he’s sleeping. She thought, her heart warming. 

She stood up once she was sure that he was asleep and walked over to a seat across from Derek.

She was pretty sure he was asleep too but decided to swivel her seat to face him and lightly kicked him. She woke him up by doing that. His eyes opened and he took his headphones off. He leaned his head back and looked at her.

“Couldn’t sleep, princess?”, he asked.

“Not tired. Besides, I don’t know how well I couldn’t really sleep on a jet...”, she responded.

“When you’re really tired after working this job for a while, you’ll sleep just about anywhere if you get the chance.”, he laughed.

“Maybe, but not tonight.”, she said.

“Getting bored with Hotch over there?”, he asked.

“No, he just decided to take a nap too.”, she said.

“But you decided to wake me from my sleep...”, he said.

“Well, yeah. I guess I have more to talk to you about anyways. He’s actually not as bad as I thought when I first started, but I’d rather wake you up, chat with you right now. Buuuuut... I’ll let you sleep if you want.”, she said.

“Hey, hey.”, he said holding a hand up as she started to stand. “I’m always up for talking with you, sit your country ass down.”, they both laughed as she sat back down.

“More like city ass. I grew up all around but mainly in cities sooo...”, she joked.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just a saying, you know what I mean.”, he said. She smiled and they both looked at each other.

“So, I wanted to ask you something earlier but didn’t think I should until we were back...”, he started.

“Alright.”, she said.

“I went to check on you last night in your hotel room. I couldn’t sleep and I knew there was no way you were asleep at like 9:00.”, he said. She stared at him waiting for him to continue.

“Well, I was heading down the hall in the opposite direction of your room to grab some ice to bring you as an ice pack and as I was turning the corner to come back... I saw you walking up with Hotch... and you were wearing a man’s jacket, I’m assuming was his... It was almost 1:00 in the morning... is there something going on?”, he asked her, leaning forward, looking her in the eye, curious and concerned.

Her heart stopped completely for a moment and her face drained of all color. She needed time to think of some excuse.

“What? What do you mean?”, she asked.

“Is there something... going on... between you and Hotch?”, he asked again.

“No, of course not.”, she tried to say calmly and convincingly.

“What were you doing, coming back inside at 1:00 am with him, wearing his jacket?”, he asked.

“I guess we both couldn’t sleep. I’d walked out front to get some air and he came out not long after as well. We talked for a bit, I got cold, he let me borrow his jacket.”, she told him.

“What time did you go out there because it doesn’t make sense that you would be out there for 4 hours or that you’d still be in your regular clothes at like midnight.”, he said.

“Derek, I just didn’t change out of my clothes yet. I was talking on the phone with an old friend before I could and it got me a little... stressed and I needed to get some air is all. I didn’t have time to change before. So after I got off the call, I went outside. I guess Hotch was doing the same, I honestly don’t know but there is nothing going on between us. At all. Okay?”, she told him, hoping he believed her.

He seemed skeptical but gave up. 

He leaned back. “Alright, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”, he said.

She smiled. “I’m fine, really. Thanks for checkin’ on me but if there’s something going on ever and I need somebody there for me, you’ll be one of the first people I go to.”, she said softly.

“I better be.”, he said, pausing before laughing a little. “That phone call with your friend... you wanna talk about it?”

She was confused as to what he meant but then remembered what she’d just told him.

“Oh, that. No. I’m- I’m good, really. It was just some little spat between us but it got resolved, it’s good.”, she said.

“Alright, well, I’m here whenever. Day or night, just call me and I’m there.”, he looked at her serious.

“Thank you.”, she said, with a loving smile. 

They smiled at each other for a minute and her heart started to skip a beat. 

This was new. She thought. What was this? Was she starting to...feel something towards Derek? No, that can’t be. It’s Hotch she was into. She had a connection with him but this thing, right here, this... with Derek... felt like something too. She couldn’t think about that right now though.

After they talked for a little bit more, while being cautious around what she said and how she said it, she realized the time.

“Looks like we’re landing in a few.”, she said looking at her watch. 

“You wanna ride back with me?”, he asked. She felt like she couldn’t say no even though she wanted to be with Hotch but she enjoyed being with Derek too. Besides, she didn’t have an excuse to ride with Hotch. 

She looked over at him, still sleeping and back at Derek. “Sure.”, she answered.

“Great.”, he said. As she stood up, she patted his knee and walked back to her seat with Hotch. 

No one was watching them and she leaned over to shake him. “Hotch.”, she whispered. She had to call him that in front of other people even if they couldn’t hear her right then. He didn’t budge.

“Hotch. We’re landing in a few.”, she said again, grabbing his bicep and shaking him lightly. He opened his eyes as her hand left his arm. He sat up.

“How close are we?”, he asked, groggy.

She thought he was so cute when he just wakes up and his voice is like that. She giggled silently and he smiled back at her with sleepy eyes. “What?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, she said. “You’re just cute when you wake up. Groggy voice, messy hair, sleepy eyes.”, she whispered, giggling again silently. 

He did the same. “Yeah, well, I was thinking the same thing when I called you that one night, waking you up. Your voice...”, he looked at her, smiling. She blushed.

“We’re about 5 minutes from landing.”, she said.

“Oh wow. I really got some good sleep.”, he said. “I hope I didn’t leave you too bored.”

“No, I just woke Derek up instead and we talked for the rest of the time.”, she said.

“Oh.”, he said quietly, raising his eyebrows for a second and looked down at his phone he pulled out.

She quietly laughed, “Stop. I thought you were over that.”, she whispered.

“I am. Nothings going on with it. I know. I’m fine.”, he said, not looking up at her.

“Uh huh. I’m sure.”, she said to him, raising an eyebrow.

He didn’t respond. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone too and a few minutes later they landed.

While they were grabbing their bags, she told Hotch, “Derek asked if I was riding back with him and I didn’t know what to say without being weird about it so... I’ll see you back at the BAU?”, she said, hoping he wasn’t upset.

“Yeah, of course.”, he said normally. “I want to talk to you before you leave for the night though if that’s alright.”, he whispered.

“Okay, sure.”, she smiled.

Emily walked down the steps of the jet with Derek and drove back to BAU. It was a bit past midnight when they got there. As they walked in, she saw Hotch in his office and no one else. Everybody else walked in shortly after her and Derek. 

“Let’s bust this out so we can go home.”, Derek said.

“Agreed.”, she said.

They sat down at their desks and everyone finished their reports and said their good nights before they left. Derek eventually finished his and before Emily’s.

He got up and walked over to her, spinning her around in her chair to face him, as she squealed, laughing. Hotch heard this and looked out his office window to see Derek leaning over her, resting his hands on her thighs. His face was so close to hers. She crossed her legs and he moved his hands up to either side of the arms of her chair, still leaning over her, very close. 

Hotch was sitting at his desk doing his own report. He wanted to get up and say something but remained sitting. 

Emily felt her heart beating fast as Derek looked in her eyes. 

“You gotta make sure not to scuff up that pretty face of yours, princess.”, he said teasingly. 

“I’ll try my best.”, she said laughing.

“Anything you need before I go?”, he asked her.

She was so close to him and looked at his lips and his eyes and all she wanted to do was put hers on his. She didn’t know why. But Derek noticed this and picked up on it.

He placed his hand delicately on her face and would’ve kissed her if they weren’t at work even though hardly anyone was around. 

“Nope. I uh- I think I’m good. Thanks, though.”, she said, smiling. She stood up and gave him a hug as he returned it. 

“Thank you for having my back, Derek. You have no idea how much it means.”, she said, rubbing his back as he just held her. She could feel his abs through his shirt, pressed against her and his strong biceps around her body. 

“Emily, you took more of a hit for me the other day. That should’ve been me. I’m sorry, I couldn’t have gotten down that fire escape sooner.”, he apologized.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, placing her hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s part of the job. You would’ve done it for me. I didn’t just do it for you. It just happened, alright? Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’ve taken much worse and been fine.”, she told him.

He sighed. “I’m not saying I’m okay with it or forgive myself but I’ll let it go. For now, at least.”, he said.

“Good! Now go get some rest, you need it, especially after I woke you from it earlier.”, she said, patting his chest and she sat back down in her chair. 

He grabbed his bag and started walking away and turned around. He shouted at her from further away, “Goodnight, princess. Take care of that pretty little face of yours.”, he said, chuckling. 

She did the same back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Derek.”, rolling her eyes. 

He got in the elevator and the doors closed. She finished up her report in less than five minutes. 

Once she was done, she got up and walked into Hotch’s office. They were all alone now. Nobody else was there. Not even Garcia. 

“Hey.”, she said sweetly. She didn’t know that he’d seen the whole exchange between Derek and her. He looked up at her as she walked over to his desk, standing over the chairs. 

He got up from his desk with a serious look on his face, without saying a word and walked around the other side to her as she turned to face him while he came up to her. He grabbed her around her side and face, pulling her in fast, against his body and brought his lips to hers, hard. 

Opening his mouth almost right away, shoving his tongue in her mouth as she moaned in his and brought her hands to his face and returned the passionate kiss, almost asking for more, even though it couldn’t get more intense than it already was.

After a solid two minutes, they pulled away to breathe, feeling their breath on one another. 

“Okay... what was that all about?”, she asked.

“I just needed you right now.”, he whispered. She blushed, biting her lip, and running her fingers through his hair.

“Okay... does this have anything to do with Derek a few minutes ago. Are you worrying about anything with him?”, she asked.

“I don’t have anything to worry about with him.”, he said, rubbing her back up and down, looking in her eyes.

“No. You don’t.”, she said, suddenly feeling like that might be a lie.

“We still need to talk though.”, he said, dragging her hands and leaning against, practically sitting on the edge of his desk. His legs were spread and he pulled her in, close to him, holding her hands.

Before he could speak, she did. “Derek saw us coming back inside the hotel last night after the beach, and me wearing your jacket.”, she blurted out. He stared at her, eyes wide, and finally sighed, dropping his head. “I explained to him that I was just getting some air and you came out and saw that I was cold and let me borrow your jacket. He believed it. It’s fine, I just... thought I should tell you.”, she hesitated. “Also... I still have your jacket. It’s in my bag.”

“Keep it. And okay... okay, I’m glad you did.”, he said. 

“Really? Are you sure?”, she started, “Because I can go grab it.”, she pointed and looked out to her bag at her desk. 

He pulled her face back to his. “Em, it’s fine, really. Just keep it.”, he said to her.

“Alright...”, she said.

“Emily... I don’t want to cut off whatever this thing is we’re doing... but you know I have to.”, he said.

“I know... It’s okay.”, she said, trying to hold in her sadness. 

He brought his hand to her face, stroking it with his thumb, looking at her. “I hate seeing you like this.”, he said.

“Like what?”, she asked.

“Upset, hurt...”, he said. He leaned in and kissed her cheek by her bruise, without hurting it. She closed her eyes as he did so, taking it all in. 

“Aaron...”, she started as he pulled away, looking in her eyes again, “I hate seeing you unhappy. But there’s nothing I can do about it. Just like there’s nothing you can do about me feeling that way either...”, she said. 

“Seeing you when you were younger, I remember watching how happy and sweet you were. You seemed like you felt so free and I just thought, I hope no one hurts that or damages that feeling. It’s special and valuable. Just like you were. I’ve seen what the world can do to someone who doesn’t cherish it and I didn’t want that to happen to you and I can tell something did at some point and I just wished for you to be so... I don’t know... I wanted you to enjoy life and be treated well by it. And now I’m afraid I’ve done quite the opposite to you and that’s not fair.”, he said, looking down.

She put her hand on his face and stroked it as he looked back up. 

“I saw the way you looked at me, Aaron. I could tell someone paid attention to me and not in a... creepy way, which a lot of guys would do. But you did in a way that says... that person doesn’t know everything about you but connects to every part of you. I don’t know if that makes sense but I could sense what you were feeling. I knew you weren’t just attracted to me, although I did see you paying that kind of attention too...”, she laughed. “But I knew the type of person you were then, I wanted to know you more. And now... I feel like I do. Like everything is coming back and I’ve never felt that. It’s like I missed you ever since then. I’ve really known you so much longer than it seems and regardless of what happens...”, her voice started to drop quieter and softer, “... that’s not going to change.”, she looked at him.

He looked at her and grabbed her waist and pulled her close into him and held it there. 

“You really do something else to me, Emily Prentiss, do you know that?”, he let out half a laugh while staring in her eyes and looking down for a moment. 

She smiled big at him, keeping her hand on his face and leaning over. Their lips met, soft at first and then more intimate as she brought her hand up from his to the other side of his head and held him on both sides.

He let both arms wrap around her waist and suddenly one started traveling up her back until it stopped, holding her still and close.

She wanted to bite down on his lip and undo his tie but this was their last moment like this together and knew they wouldn’t be doing that. So she kept it passionate. She knew he would keep going so she had to end it.

She gave him one more closed mouth kiss, inhaling deeply, really feeling it, and pulling her lips off his. Their foreheads stayed pressed against each other’s, along with their noses, touching on the sides. They were breathing heavy on each other, looking down.

She slid her hands down his chest and his arms, to his hands. She gave them a squeeze as he returned it. They stared at each other and she let go and walked out the door, not saying another word, knowing it would be too hard. 

He watched her walk away, feeling like he’d just gotten punched in the gut.

He watched her grab her bag and walk to the elevator until she was gone. 

This couldn’t be it. He thought. He loved his wife but they weren’t in love anymore. They hadn’t been for a while. He couldn’t abandon her but regardless of Emily, he was questioning his loyalty to Haley. All this, running through his mind, he almost started to cry. There was too much. He had no idea how to fix it all. 

  
  



	11. Drunken Mistake?

**Chapter 11**

* * *

The next day at work was difficult. Emily arrived on time, but not early. Entering the building after a few others, even. 

She walked straight to Hotch’s office before stopping at her desk.

She was going to knock but he saw her before she could, and the door was open. 

“Hey.”, he said.

“Hey...”, she said back. She breathed in deep, lifting her chin up. “How are you... since last night and all?”, she asked, walking in more, stopping in the middle of the room.

He was standing up, unpacking his briefcase. “I’m just fine. You?”, he asked, sounding rushed.

She was surprised by the blunt, short, emotionless answer he gave her.

“Just fine? Do you want to talk at all...?”, she hesitated.

Now he seemed stressed. He set his hands on his desk and looked up at her, stopping what he was doing. The look on his face almost scared her.

“Emily, I have a lot of work to get done and so do you. I really think you should get started on it so we can get briefed on a case we just got.”, he snapped. 

She held onto the strap of her bag tight, rolled her lips in and nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t bother about it again...”, she said quietly and walked out. 

He looked down and cursed at himself. He didn’t mean to be so harsh but it just came out. He didn’t have time to worry about this right now. He’d already gotten to work late. Late for him, on time for everybody else. 

When he’d gotten home the night before, after having his last moment with Emily, Haley was waiting for him.

She’d been sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of tea. When he walked in the door, she stood up. He looked over at her and could see the anger in her eyes. It was almost 2:00 in the morning.

She began yelling at him about how he was late and he tried to explain that they’d gotten in late. But she knew it didn’t take him that long to write up a report. She told him off about how he was never home and ever since they had Jack, it’s been even worse. Once they’d had enough, they’d gone to bed without even saying ‘goodnight’. 

When he woke up in the morning he barely said a word to her but helped feed Jack. He drove to work and once he parked, he sat in his car for a while before going in.

Now, standing in his office, he kept replaying the past night. Thinking about the way Emily tasted, the way she felt, the way she smelled. And then his mind went to his wife and the yelling again.

He ran his fingers through his hair. And grabbed the rest of his stuff and walked to the conference room. 

Back at Emily’s desk, she set her bag down and hung her coat over the back of her chair. She felt tears starting in her eyes. 

Derek looked over and could see that. She didn’t look at him though. Before she let any tears fall, she walked fast to the bathroom. He noticed this and sat down, concerned. 

Emily pushed the door open to the bathroom and looked in the stalls to see if anyone was in there. When she realized she was alone, she went back to the door and locked it. 

She walked over to the sink and ran her hands under cool water. After she dried them, she placed her hands on the sides of the sink and leaned over it. She dropped her head and finally allowed herself to cry. She didn’t let a sound come out, in fear of someone hearing her. 

Tears started falling down her face and she brought a hand up to cover it, then wiping the tears away and sniffling. 

Why was she crying? She wondered.

Hotch made it clear what was going to happen and she was the one who walked away from him last night even though it was his decision. 

Her heart dropped from her chest and she had no idea how she was supposed to focus on anything today. She had to push through it and be professional.

She wiped her tears with a paper towel and took a deep breath before walking back out. 

As she started out, Derek walked around the corner and saw her. “Okay, what is it?”, he asked, stopping her from walking past him.

“I’m sorry?”, she asked.

“You know what I’m talking about. I can tell you were just crying. Now spill.”, he said.

“Derek, right now is really not the best.”, she said. She felt tears coming on again and tried to hold them back but one fell down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb. 

“Yeah, nothing’s going on. Sure.”, he said, looking at her, caressing her cheek.

“I’d really rather not talk about it right now. Please.”, she said, holding his arm.

“Alright, fine.”, he said. He pulled her close and held her. 

She brought her arms up, under his and grabbed his shoulders, hugging him tight. “I don’t care what it is. There’s something bothering you, you come to me.”, he told her.

She nodded her head but knew she couldn’t come to him about this.

He pulled back and grabbed her face with both hands. “I got you, princess.”, he smiled.

“Thanks, Derek.”, she said, smiling back.

They walked back to their desks, side by side and sat down. 

JJ walked by a few minutes later. “Got a case. Already setting up in the conference room.”, she said.

They both got up and walked in the conference room to everybody else.

As she entered, she looked over at Hotch and he didn’t even acknowledge her. She sat down next to Derek as Hotch was on the other side, looking at JJ.

As she reviewed the case, Emily tried to focus but didn’t do too well. She kept thinking about Hotch last night. Being in his arms, his warm skin against hers. 

She snapped out of it when Hotch said, “Looks like we’re going to New York. Wheels up in 20.”, he stood up and walked out, looking straight in front of him, avoiding her completely. 

It hurt her when he did that. She kept hoping he would glance at her but he never did.

The whole case in New York had been rough. All Hotch wanted to do was pull Emily off to the side and talk to her whenever he could but he knew he had to keep his distance as much as possible. It was already hard enough for him to be around her. 

Each night at the hotel, he wanted to go knock on her door and tell her how sorry he was for hurting her by not speaking to her. He hoped she knew that. 

Emily tried to push him out of her brain but with him being around her each day they were in New York, working the case, it was impossible. She wanted to text him and ask him if he was okay but she told him she wouldn’t ask again. 

Neither one of them knew how much the other was struggling and no one else knew but them. 

Derek could tell she was upset but she insisted she didn’t need to talk about it. 

After a couple weeks of being out on the east coast, they finally got the unsub and were headed back home.

Once the jet landed, Derek looked at Emily, who had fallen asleep in her seat.

He walked over to her and grabbed her shoulder, shaking her awake gently.

She opened her eyes. 

“We just landed.”, Derek said.

Emily sat up more and stood, grabbing her jacket she had laid across her body and put it on. He grabbed her bag and carried it for her. 

“What’d I tell you?”, he said.

“What?”, she asked, still sleepy, while she held onto the railing as she stepped down, out of the jet. 

“I told you that you’d be able to fall asleep on the jet after working here for a bit.”, he laughed.

“Oh. Well. I guess I was pretty tired.”, she said. They walked to the car and she got in with him. 

“Let me take you home. You’re still tired.”, he said.

“No, I’m fine. It’s only 9:00. I’ve gotta finish the report.”, she said.

“No. You can do that in the morning. I’m taking you home.”, he told her.

“Fine.”, she settled.

They drove to the BAU and got in his own car. 

She rested while he drove her home.

Once they parked, she unbuckled her seatbelt and looked at him. 

“You wanna come up for a bit? It’s still early.”, she waited for a response from him while he looked at her. “I’ve got wine... and beer.”, she said, knowing he probably wasn’t a wine guy. She was still waiting for him to say something. She sighed, looking down. “I could use some company.”, she said, looking back at him.

He paused, staring at her, blank still. She became worried, maybe she crossed a line.

All of a sudden, he laughed. She looked confused. “What!”, she said.

“I just wanted to see where you were goin’ with this, how much you would keep offering. Also, I wanted to actually hear you say it.”, he said.

“Hear me say what?”, she sounded annoyed.

“That you need company. I knew you weren’t okay and just wanted you to finally admit it. Which you have now. So yes, I’d love a beer.”, he said.

She rolled her eyes and he laughed again as they got out of the car and went up to her place. She opened the door and he followed behind her. 

He’d been there a couple times before to hangout and drop her off so she didn’t have to give him a tour or anything.

“Want a beer?”, she asked.

“I’d love one, thanks.”, he said. She set her bag down by the staircase as she walked over to the fridge to grab 2 beers for them.

She opened them both and turned around to see him leaning against the island in the kitchen area on the side of the living room, staring at her. 

It was all an open area, no doors separating the kitchen from the living room, with the stairs right off to the side. 

Her body stopped, startled a bit, she smiled and passed him a beer across the counter, staying on her side by the fridge. 

She took her jacket off and set it on the island, off to the side more.

She leaned over on her elbows and reached over to clink their beer glasses. 

They both laughed.

With her leaning over, he could see down her shirt partially and tried hard not to stare. She didn’t realize until his eyes accidentally wandered down. He looked back up at her right away, hoping she didn’t notice but she did and she laughed it off. 

She stood up and walked over to him. She touched his leather jacket, and asked him, “Do you wanna set this down over there?”, she motioned towards where she set hers. 

“Sure.”, he said, taking it off and placing it on top of hers. She took her boots off but kept her socks on because it was still a bit cold, while he did the same.

He faced her and they both pulled a stool out and sat down and started talking for a while, sipping their beers.

After 3 more for each of them, he finally got down to what was on his mind. 

“So. You gonna tell me what’s got you so upset this past week? You did say you needed company tonight.”, he asked her. 

“I did and I do. But that doesn’t mean I want to talk about what’s going on. Just you being here is a nice distraction and provides good company.”, she said with a smile.

“As opposed to bad company? So there was a guy. Ahhhh okay, I see, I see.”, he said.

“Don’t profile me right now.”, she said, glaring at him.

“Alright. I won’t. I’m sorry.”, he said, now staring deep into her eyes. He scooted his stool closer to her, smoothly. He placed his hand that didn’t have a beer in it, on her thigh.

His tone became calm all of a sudden, “What can I do to help you feel better, Emily?”, he said, waiting. He cocked his head to the side slightly and started rubbing her leg up and down. 

She sat there, staring back at him, suddenly realizing how close he was. One of his legs was in between hers and the other on the outside. She could feel his breath on her and he began looking from her lips to her eyes. When she noticed him doing that, she couldn’t stop herself from doing the same.

Now, almost whispering, with his face moved in closer, he said slowly, “What can I do for you, Emily?”

She couldn’t handle the tension anymore. They were both pretty drunk and her judgement wasn’t the best but maybe that was for the best right now. Maybe she had to let loose.

She moved her face into his, kissing his lips. She put her hand on his thigh as he set his beer down and moved his large hand to her face, holding her against his. She brought her other hand to his neck. While they kept going, moving their lips against each other’s, she moaned quietly. 

He pulled away for a moment and got off the stool to stand up. He grabbed her hands and helped her off and she wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her face with one hand and her waist with the other as their lips met again.

Opening her mouth, allowing him access, he slipped his tongue in and they melted into each other.

They continued this for a while when he finally turned her around and backed her up against the island, kissing her harder. He brought his lips down to her neck as she threw her head back. Her hands were all over him as he kissed her neck down to her collarbone, down to her chest and onto the top of her breast. He started to nip at her soft skin as she whimpered and gasped when he started to suck, knowing it would leave a mark.

He brought his lips back to her neck doing the same thing.

She had turtlenecks that she could wear to work, they both knew it would be fine.

After leaving a couple hickeys on her, she grabbed his face and crashed her lips against his, passionately. 

They were both breathing heavy and she brought her hand down to the bottom of his shirt and began lifting it as he broke away from the kiss to finish pulling it off. He tossed it off to the side on the ground and came back to her lips, grabbing her body against his. 

After a minute, she broke away and pulled her own shirt off, throwing it to the side as well. 

He stared at her in her black lace bra and she bit her lip, smiling.

He picked her up and sat her on the island, she squealed and he stood between her legs. 

He smiled and brushed her messy hair out of her face and grabbed around her waist as she placed a hand on his bare chest and the other on his face.

They leaned into each other, kissing harder than before. 

She slightly leaned back and ran her fingers down his body, feeling every edge of his cut abs till she got to his pants and grabbed them.

“Upstairs.”, she whispered. He responded by picking her up and she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her up the stairs, to her room.

Once they got to her bed, he laid her down on her back as he got on too and she kept her legs wrapped around him. 

He was hovering over her and she pulled him down more. She unwrapped her legs from around him and he put his on either side of hers, still making out with her. 

He started grinding on her and she moved her hips along with it too. 

He sat up and started undoing her pants and she helped him pull them off along with her socks, kicking them onto the ground. 

He leaned back over her and kissed her for a while before she reached her hands down to his belt and started to undo it. He let her take the lead on it and she was quick.

She needed this. It’d been too long and she was so close a week ago when she was with Hotch that it frustrated her when they couldn’t.

They eventually shed all clothes and got lost with each other under the sheets. After a couple hours, they became exhausted and fell asleep. 

In the moment, it seemed right but she didn’t know how much she would end up regretting it.

  
  



	12. Maybe It Could Be a Good Thing

**Chapter 12**

* * *

The next morning, Emily woke up later than usual. It was almost 8:00. Her head hurt and she felt her hair in her face.

All of a sudden, she noticed an arm wrapped around her waist over the sheets.

She looked back and Derek was asleep, behind her. He wasn’t pressed against her but holding part of her. She cursed at herself when she realized neither of them were wearing any clothes. 

She looked at the clock on her nightstand and almost shot out of bed but realized she had to be quiet. 

She gently slid his hand off her, while he stayed asleep. She grabbed the top blanket on the bed and wrapped it around her naked body.

She walked into her closet and grabbed some work clothes quickly and slipped away to the bathroom locking the door behind her once she was in.

She didn’t have any time for a shower so she set her clothes down and picked up a pair of underwear and a bra and put them on. Next she picked up the pants to her black pant suit outfit and slid them up, then grabbing a tan shirt that was somewhat tight and form fitting. She slipped on some socks and finally pulled on her black pantsuit jacket and slowly opened the door, walking out. 

She looked over at him sleeping and thought about waking him up but couldn’t face him. She was starting to remember last night more but had to keep getting ready. 

She knew he had a timer on his phone, set for every morning for him to wake up and knew it would be going off soon and she wanted to leave before that. She thought she would just leave a key on the counter and he could lock up when he left.

She grabbed her pair of black boots and headed downstairs quietly, holding them.

Once she got downstairs, she grabbed the key and set it on the counter, not bothering to leave a note. 

She dialed JJ’s number on her phone to see if she was on her way to work, as she walked out of her loft, grabbing her bag and own set of keys. She locked the door and realized she still hadn’t put her shoes on. 

She stood in the hallway with her phone to her ear between her shoulder, slipping both boots on. She scurried down the hall as JJ picked up. 

“Hey. Emily! What’s up?”, JJ said.

“JJ.”, she said in a worried tone. “Are you on your way to work?”, she asked.

“Yeaaahh... why? You need a ride?”, JJ asked. 

“Yes. Please.”, Emily said. She was about to lie to her and hated it but knew she had to. “Derek dropped me off last night and my car is still at the BAU, would you mind picking me up on your way?”

“Sure, I’m like 2 minutes from you actually. I’ll be there in just a minute.”, she said.

“Thank you so much.”, Emily said.

“No problem!”, she said.

They hung up as Emily walked down the stairs and when she got outside, JJ was already pulling up to the curb. 

Emily got in the car. 

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”, Emily said.

JJ stared at her and her jaw dropped, eyes wide. “What? What is it?”, Emily asked.

“Girl, you have got some explaining to do.”, JJ said, laughing.

“What are you talking about?”, Emily asked.

“I’m talking about those hickeys on your neck and that one right on your boob. Soooo... who came over to your place last night?”, she said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“What!?”, Emily panicked. She dropped the visor in the car and looked in the mirror. “Shit.” It was all coming back to her now. Derek’s mouth all over her body all night. She shut her eyes.

“Emily...”, JJ teased her.

“JJ I don’t want to talk about it, I’m way too tired and I... oh god... I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth... or shower even. Please tell me you have some makeup to cover this up.”, she begged.

“Only if I get this story out of you later.”, JJ said. 

“Yes, fine. Makeup. Please.”, Emily begged even more.

“Here ya go.”, JJ said chuckling, handing her some makeup. “And here’s some gum... you know.”, she said, handing a piece to Emily, starting to drive again. 

Emily applied the makeup to her neck and got frustrated. “Oh no... you can still see it. Not a lot but still.”, Emily whined.

“I can barely notice it.”, JJ tried to reassure her.

“We’re all profilers. We’re trained to be hyper vigilant. I think people will notice.”, she said. Afterwards, she thought, especially Hotch. “I should’ve worn a turtleneck. I just totally forgot. I wasn’t completely sober last night. I guess I made a lot of bad judgement calls.”, , she said.

“That doesn’t look like a bad judgment call to me.”, JJ said pointing to the marks on her. 

“Yeah, well... it was a mistake and I shouldn’t have done it.”, Emily sighed.

“Whatever you say but I think that’s probably just what you needed. But hey, I don’t know.”, JJ said, putting a hand up.

After trying to fix her hair, she pulled makeup out of her own bag and re-did it, making herself look put together again.

They finally arrived at work and got out, walking in. Emily turned to JJ. “Are you sure it’s barely noticeable?”, Emily asked.

“To me at least but I guess I can’t speak for the rest.”, JJ said, walking to her desk.

Emily kept going to hers, frustrated and nervous for what may come next from everyone. She sat down at her desk, hoping no one would come up to her.

While she got lost in that thought, Hotch called out to her. “Prentiss, can I see you in my office?”, he said.

She looked at him up the stairs and got up. She walked into his office, anxiety going crazy. 

He saw her neck and closed the door after her once he did. He was staring at it. He couldn’t help it, it was very obvious to him. He was extremely observant of her body all the time, especially the parts where his mouth had been, so when he noticed the marks on those areas, his blood boiled.

She tried to focus but she could tell he noticed and her nerves were shot again.

“You wanted to see me?”, she asked, tying to stay calm.

They both sat down, him behind his desk, her on the other side. He stared at her with an angry look on his face and eyebrows furrowed. His eyes went from her neck to her face a lot and she caught on. His hands were crossed on his desk.

He’d initially called her in to apologize and smooth things over but he was upset now.He tried to come up with an excuse.

“You didn’t finish your report last night once we got back.”, he said.

“I was going to but I was just really tired. I went straight home.”, she said, not completely lying.

“Are you sure about that?”, he asked in an accusatory tone. 

“Yes...”, she said, trying not to let her voice sound shaky.

“It doesn’t look like it.”, he said.

“I’m sorry, but is there a reason you called me in here?”, she asked, getting frustrated now. 

“Yes. You’re not doing your work and apparently, that’s why.”, he motioned with his head and placed his eyes on her neck. Now she was really mad.

“I do my job, Aaron! You don’t get to get involved in my personal life. Not anymore. And it has nothing to do with my work life. I would never let the two cross over.”, well, that last part was a lie. “You made a choice and I can’t blame you for that but this is uncalled for. I’m not yours to be jealous or protective over. I’m allowed to have my own life and do what I want without you coming down on me for it. If anyone is crossing a line or being unprofessional, it’s you right now. I realize how this looks... in many ways. And I know I don’t have to explain myself to you...”, she started to get quiet, almost sad and started to tear and choke up, “...but I do feel bad. I feel bad about what I did last night. I feel bad if it hurts you at all. I feel bad that I can’t...”, her voice started quivering and got quieter and more sentimental and a tear came out. “...that I can’t hold you. I was stupid last night and all I’ve thought about since I walked out of your office that night was how much it hurt me to do that.”, she finished, looking at him, biting her lip, trying to hold in more tears she felt coming. She eventually looked down.

He suddenly felt horrible for making her cry. He looked over to his window and nobody was looking in their direction. He stood up and walked over to it, closing the blinds. Once nobody was able to see in his office, he walked over to her and grabbed her arm, helping her up. 

He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her tight. He rested his head on top of hers as she returned the hug, just as tight. Her head against his chest, grabbing onto him.

He brought his hand up and stroked the back of her head and placed a kiss on top of it when he felt her press into his chest more. 

“I’m sorry, Em. I shouldn’t have said that. You have every right to do what you want with whoever you want and I can’t stand in the way of that and I shouldn’t have tried to.”, he said quietly.

“I know. I understand where you’re coming from. If I was in your position, I’d probably feel the same way.”, she responded.

“You kind of are.”, he said, feeling guilty.

She pulled back to look at him, still holding each other. He looked at her and wiped away her tears.

“That’s different. You were already married and you’re not going around with these all over your neck. I wouldn’t have done that if I was in the right state of mind. I should’ve known better still. It was a stupid, drunken mistake. I would take it back if I could. Especially after knowing how it would make you feel...”, she told him.

He grabbed her face. “You have every right to not feel okay with what happened between us. I know I don’t. And just because you did a stupid thing last night, doesn’t make you stupid. It probably wasn’t stupid. You made a decision last night based on what you were feeling in the moment. I can’t blame you. I know that’s what we were doing. I don’t want you to feel bad. You have every right to live your life.”, he said, looking at her softly. “Maybe don’t come to work with hickeys visible on your neck...”, he chuckled. “...but don’t feel bad. Especially not because of me.”, he said. 

“Thank you.”, she whispered, looking in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her so bad but knew he couldn’t, even though he knew she would kiss him back.

Instead, he pulled her back into him. 

“I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt to see that someone else has been all over you... but I know that’s not fair for me to feel that or say that anymore.”, he said. 

“Aaron, I know. Stop beating yourself up... I missed this. I don’t want to lose even just being able to hug you. I know I can’t have you in another way but, I don’t want to let this go...”, she said.

“Me neither. Even just a couple weeks of barely speaking to you was hard. I don’t want that to be a normal thing.”, he replied.

“Good.”, she said, smiling, reaching up his back and holding onto his shoulders.

“So should I expect this to be a regular thing? Or expect you to be wearing a lot of turtlenecks?”, he laughed.

She let out a half laugh. “Uh no. Definitely not. My main thought this morning was you and how I wasn’t with you last night. That’s not exactly fair to the other guy.”, she chuckled. He pulled away to look at her again. 

“Really?”, he asked quietly.

She worried she’d said something wrong but decided to be honest. “Yeah...”, she said with a soft smile. He stroked her cheek and let a corner of lips turn up slightly.

He wanted to tell her he felt the same way but just said, “I’m glad we’re okay. I hate being mad at you, Em.”

“Me too.”, she said, stroking his arm. “I should probably go finish that report now.”

“Alright. Check in with me at the end of the day?”, he asked as she pulled away and started walking to the door.

“Alright.”, she smiled, opening the door and walking out. 

  
  


Back at her desk, Emily saw Derek’s bag on his desk but didn’t see him. She got nervous for whenever he would walk back and tried to focus on her work. 

Right when she finally got in the zone with it, Derek walked over to her. She assumed he was probably with Garcia.

She pretended to be lost in her work until he came over to her and put his hands on the back of her chair and leaned over her shoulder.

“Hey, princess. Someone snuck off early this morning.”, he whispered. 

“Yeah, I was gonna be late. Sorry.”, she still didn’t look back and kept writing. 

He grabbed her key out of his pocket and dangled it over her, dropping it on her desk. 

“Well, I locked up for you.”, he said.

She could practically hear his smile, as his face was against her hair.

“Thanks.”, she said.

Nobody was looking and he brushed her hair back and she felt her nerves spike. 

He whispered in her ear with his lips touching it, “Last night was amazing... too bad you ran off this morning before it could continue...”, he whispered seductively. 

This time she literally felt his lips turn up when touching her ear. She didn’t know why but she knew she couldn’t be around him right now. She couldn’t tell if it was because he was turning her on, if he made her uncomfortable, or if he made her feel guilty because of Hotch even though he said it was fine. But then again, he didn’t know it was Derek she was with last night. Would that have made any difference? She wondered.

Emily moved her head and stood up after that, thankful she finished her report so she had an excuse to get up. 

She told him without looking at him, “I’ll be right back.”, and walked into Hotch’s office.

“Finished the report.”, she said placing it on his desk. She didn’t realize how flustered she was and how much she was blushing from Derek a second ago.

“Great, thanks.”, he looked up. “You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah, totally fine. I’ll let you get back to work.”, she said quickly, walking out. 

He was curious now but didn’t bother to ask any further questions.

She walked back to her desk and sat down. Derek rolled his chair over to hers. 

“You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Why? Are you alright?”, she said.

“I’m more than fine.”, he smiled, placing his hand on her leg. 

“Derek.”, she snapped, pulling away. “We’re at work.”

He looked confused now. “Emily, did I do something wrong? Last night, we had a great time and then this morning you leave your own apartment without even saying goodbye and now you’re acting all weird.”, he said.

“Can we just talk later? I hate doing this at work.”, she said, now feeling bad that she may have hurt him. He was silent and stared at her with a mix of confusion and being hurt by her.

She smiled and put her hand on his arm to let him know she wasn’t mad. 

“Please? I just don’t want to get things mixed up at work.”, she said softly.

“Alright. Sure. Wanna hit the bar up the street from my place after work?”, he asked.

“How about that coffee place a few blocks away? Alcohol clouds my judgement. As you probably could tell from last night.”, she said with a giggle, she wanted to be nice.

“Alright, sounds good.”, he laughed. 

  
  


Once the day was over, Emily packed up her things and walked over to Derek.

“Hey, I’ll meet you down there in a second.”

“Cool, no problem.”, he said, getting on the elevator.

With everyone else gone, Emily walked into Hotch’s office.

“Hey.”, she smiled.

“Hey.”, he smiled back.

He got up and came around to the other side of his desk and leaned back against it.

“I just wanted to check in with you like you suggested earlier.”, she said, walking closer to him. She stopped a couple feet from him, keeping a respectful distance.

“How’d the rest of the day go? Any calls from that guy?”, he asked.

She laughed, “I texted him and we’re getting together later. We’re just friends so... we’re just gonna hangout, probably talk about it, I guess.”

“Good. I uh- I hope it works out. I’m just glad to see you smiling now.”, he said.

“I feel better. Mainly because of you, so, thank you.”, she said

He smiled at her and crossed his arms.

“I think we both feel better. Knowing you do, puts me at ease. It hurts me to see you upset especially when I know I’m the cause of it.”, he said.

“Thank you anyways. I’m gonna head out now but I just wanted to say ‘have a goodnight’.”, she said.

“You too, Emily.”, he said.

She walked out and felt content but now she had to worry about what her and Derek were going to talk about.

She met him down by their cars and before she got in hers, she said to Derek, “Sorry about that, I was just finishing up one last thing but I’ll follow you there.”

“Alright.”, he said.

Once they both arrived at the coffee shop that was open till midnight, they walked in together. They both ordered a regular black coffee and sat down in a corner. The lights were dim and there was a neon sign on the window. It had a cool, artsy vibe to it.

There was a wooden booth they sat in next to each other and table in front of them where he sat his coffee down on.

She held onto hers, warming her up.

She took a sip as he started, “So...”

She looked up at him and didn’t know what to say at first. She knew she had to tell him the truth, or at least most of it. She couldn’t tell him about Hotch but she would tell him about what she was feeling towards him, which she wasn’t even sure of. She set her mug down and put her hand on his thigh. 

“Derek... I don’t know if last night was a mistake or not. I felt bad for leaving this morning but I didn’t know how to confront you and I figured that probably wasn’t the best moment to do it. I’m sorry.”, she said.

“I had a good time last night. And it wasn’t just the sex. It’s that it was with you. I don’t know if you’ve been able to pick up on it but I really like you Emily.”, he admitted.

She sat there unsure of what she was going to say next until the words came out of her mouth. She didn’t even think about it.

“I do too. I really do. But I don’t think that anything can happen again. As amazing as it was, it felt wrong as well.”, she said.

“Wrong? How?”, he asked.

“Because... it’s not allowed at work. Sleeping with each other is kind of against a lot of rules. Besides, I don’t know if I can’t handle just that.”, she said, looking down. 

She began thinking of Hotch and how they had more than that during their short lived “fling” or “affair”. Whatever you would call it. 

Derek held her chin and brought it up to face him. “Emily, I don’t just want to hook up with you every now and then. I told you... I really like you. You’re so special. Anybody can see that. I love being with you just in general, no matter what we’re doing. Last night was just one thing that I liked doing.”, he said.

She blushed and looked him in the eyes. 

“Derek...”, she started. Before she could finish, he moved his lips onto hers and kissed her slow. He let go and looked at her lovingly.

“You’re so beautiful...”, he said. “Now if you don’t feel the same way, now that you’re sober, fine... but I do.” 

Last time someone had called her beautiful like that while they were kissing and sharing an intimate moment was with Hotch that night on the beach and suddenly her heart started to hurt. 

She needed to shut out that memory so she put her hand on Derek’s face and brought her lips to his, kissing him passionately. It felt so different when they didn’t have four beers in their system. She pushed Hotch out of her mind and pulled away from Derek and bit her lip.

He smiled at her and she whispered in his ear, “Let’s get out of here.”, with a smirk on her face when she pulled back to face him. He was more than willing and slipped out of the booth easily, taking her hand and helping her out, after him. 

They ran outside to their cars with each other as he grabbed her and kissed her deep. They got in their own cars and drove to his place. 

When they got out, she ran up to him and into his arms. She crashed her lips onto his and before things got too far, he stopped and dragged her hand as they went inside his house. She followed him upstairs to his room where he took his shoes off and she followed.

Their lips came together again with her hands on his face and his all over her body as he slid her coat and jacket off.

She took his leather jacket off shortly after that.

She stepped in front of him and pushed him down on the bed, lying on his back, as she climbed on top of him. 

While they made out more, their clothes came off more until they were under his sheets just like the night before, repeating everything they’d done just 24 hours ago.

  
  


After they finished twice, they stayed in bed, looking at each other for a while.

He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her towards him. 

“I don’t want you to leave.”, he said.

“I know but I need my clothes and everything for work tomorrow. Especially a turtleneck because Hotch did not like the fact that these were visible.”, she laughed, touching her neck.

Derek traced the skin on her neck gently. “Why does Hotch care?”, he asked.

She panicked for a moment.

“He’s our boss and it wasn’t professional of me to be flaunting this at work.”, she said, saving her ass.

“Oh well... I like them...”, he said in a deep, quiet, sexy tone as he smiled and pressed his lips against her neck, placing soft kisses all along it. 

She giggled and after a few minutes, she moved back and pulled the sheets up to her, covering herself except her bare back which he stared at. She sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over to grab her clothes, pulling them on and getting up. 

He grabbed his own boxers off the ground and pulled them on. He came up behind her as she was grabbing her shoes and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck under her hair. 

She leaned into him and laughed. “If I don’t leave now, I might just never leave so...”, she trailed off.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”, he said letting her go. He walked her downstairs and once they got to the front door, he trapped her between it and him and kissed her deep, grabbing her waist. 

She ran her hands from his face down his chest and pulled away.

“Okay, now I really have to go.”, she said. She opened the door and stepped out but turned around before continuing.

She wrapped her arm around his neck and the other hand on his face and pulled him down to her, melting her lips into his before pulling away and smiling. They let go as she said, “Goodnight Derek.”, with a smile.

“Goodnight princess.”, he said back. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will.”, she said.

She got in her car and drove off. The whole way back, all she could think about was Hotch. How she felt guilty for lying to him. How she felt guilty for sleeping with someone else. But mainly, that she enjoyed it and that she actually liked Derek and more than just enough to have sex with him. It was more than just sex. She felt connected to him and he seemed to actually care about her.

He made her feel good. But so did Hotch. 

  
  



	13. “Just Friends”

**Chapter 13**

* * *

  
  


The next morning, Emily was arriving to work and while she was walking from her car to inside, Derek ran up to her.

He grabbed her waist from behind, picked her up, and spun her around. 

She squealed and let out a laugh. 

He put her down and slid his hand around her waist and kissed her deep. 

“Derek.”, she blushed. “We’re at work.”

“No, we are outside of work.”, he said wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Still, anyone could walk by.”, she said pushing away. They began walking side by side but not too close as they entered inside.

As she was walking to her desk, Hotch walked by on his way from doing something, she didn’t know what but she could tell he was taking the long way back to his office.

He looked over at her and slowed down as he walked past. He nodded his head down, “Agent Prentiss, morning.”, he snuck a small smile.

“Morning, sir.”, she said, looking up with her eyes, returning a small hint of a smile.

He got to his office and smiled. He actually felt happy. It’d been a while since he felt this way. The only problem was, lately, it only seemed to be around Emily, because of Emily that he felt this way.

He knew he had to try harder with his marriage. He had to try and make it work but the fact that he was drawn to another woman and would rather spend time just talking with her over being around his wife at all was a problem. He knew that. But why would he want to be around his wife when all she did was yell at him? He thought.

He realized he couldn’t call Emily into his office all the time, so he pulled out his phone once he sat down and texted her.

“You look happy. How’d it go last night with the guy?”, he texted.

All of a sudden, Emily heard her phone buzz and pulled it out of her desk drawer, confused as to who would be texting her at this time. The only person she thought it could be was Derek sending a not so appropriate message. She looked over at him but he was hard at work.

She looked down at the phone and saw it was from Hotch. She read what he said and she didn’t know what to say back. She couldn’t exactly tell him that the guy was Derek and she ended up sleeping with him again and decided to give it a try by actually dating him but she also wanted to start a friendship with Hotch. Being honest is a big part of that. He didn’t need to know this part yet though. She thought.

“Yeah, we talked. Everything is all good now, thanks. How are you and Haley?”, she sent.

She waited a few minutes and was about to put her phone away when he finally sent, “Lots of fighting. But it’ll be alright. I’m glad you were able to work things out.”

“Aaron, I’m really sorry. You don’t deserve that.”, she told him.

“I do. I haven’t been a good husband or father to Jack. But we’re trying.”, he said.

“Still. That doesn’t make it any easier.”, she wasn’t quite sure what to say to him about it and it was an awkward subject for them seeing as how he cheated on his wife with her. 

But they were friends now and friends are supportive and there for each other.

“Do you want to get a drink tonight?”, he asked.

“Shouldn’t you be home with Haley?”, she asked.

“She’s got some girlfriends coming over for book group and wine and some of them are bringing their babies by and always put them down for the night. She actually prefers I not be there and interrupt her.”, he laughed as he typed that.

So did she. Derek noticed her smiling while on her phone and called over to her. “Emily. What’s got you so giggly? Shouldn’t be doing your work?”, he teased.

She froze. “I am. I’m texting... an old friend who’s coming into town. I think we’re going to get some drinks tonight. Now get back to your own work.”, she teased right back.

She was surprised at how fast she was able to come up with that lie, not even giving much thought to it.

She started typing again. 

“Where were you thinking?”

“Same place we went for that Super Bowl night?”, he asked. 

“Alright! Head out after work?”, she asked.

“Can’t wait.”, he sent.

They were both smiling now and she put her phone back in her desk as he slipped his on the inside of his suit jacket in a pocket. 

She slid over to Derek’s desk in her chair. “Hey.”, she said.

“Hey, yourself. So, you too busy tonight for me?”, he joked.

“I’m afraid so. I would invite you but it’s been a while since I’ve seen her and it’s kind of gonna be... a girls night.”, she said.

“Ohhhh, I like the sound of that.”, he grinned.

“Sorry, mister. Girls night is strictly for girls.”, she said.

“Ouch!”, he said, leaning back in his chair. “Well, tomorrow night? How about I take you out for real? Fancy dinner... fancy dress... fancy other things back at my place after...?”, he said with a smirk.

“Oooo, now I like the sound of that. It’s a date.”, she whispered.

“Great. I always call you “princess” but I never get to treat you like one. So, be prepared for a good time.”, he said. “And I don’t just mean after dinner.”, he winked.

She gasped.“Okay, wow. You really have no filter even at work.”, she said, laughing, as she rolled back over to her desk. 

A couple hours later, Garcia called JJ from her office. JJ walked over to Emily.

“Garcia needs us. Bring the case files from the case we got a few days ago.”, JJ said. Emily gathered them and followed JJ in to see her.

“Hey, guys. Okay soooo, I think that I may have gotten a hit through ViCAP for that double homicide you guys are working on. Tell me if this is the same guy so I can stop combing through all these photos. I had to look up so many pictures of baby pandas just to make myself feel better earlier before continuing.”, Garcia sighed.

They took almost 20 minutes, comparing the murders to the ones in the ViCAP system that they had pulled up. “Looks like we got a match.”, Emily said. 

“I’ll go let Hotch know.”

“Ah ah ah. Not so fast. He can wait a few minutes. You never told me about what went down the other night. You promised me a story.”, JJ said, raising her eyebrow. Emily looked over at Garcia.

“Something happened? What happened? Is it juicy? Oh ha, I need details, girly. Spill.”, Garcia said fast.

“There’s really not much to tell.”, Emily said.

“Oh, don’t try and play that game. I know JJ wasn’t the only one who saw your neck the other day. Mmmhmmm. I’m not a profiler but I notice things.”, Garcia said.

JJ crossed her arms. “So. Who is he?”, she said.

Emily knew she had to think of something. She told Hotch that it was an old friend and if she told JJ and Garcia the same, then they would ask more questions. 

Should she just say it was a random guy from the bar? She wondered. She decided to say the same thing she told Hotch. It was easier to do that instead of keep lying so much.

“You know guys, honestly? It was an old friend. You don’t know him. He wasn’t in town for long. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”, she said.

“If we don’t know him, why can’t we know his name?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, Em, come onnnnn.”, Garcia pleaded.

“I don’t want to talk about it!”, she snapped. “It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have even gotten in contact with him at all. I just want to forget about it and not think about the past. I don’t have the best history when it comes to him, alright? So please, just drop it.”, she stood up and walked out.

Garcia and JJ sat there completely silent even after Emily walked out, completely shocked at what just happened.

Although the guy was actually Derek that she slept with, she was thinking about an old friend who she didn’t have a great history with.

She always tried to find some truth to go off of when she lied, it made it more believable for herself. They always said at the BAU that “To every lie, there’s always a kernel of truth.”

She walked into Hotch’s office, now actually upset. He could see it in her face and body language. 

“Garcia ran the case we got here a few days ago in Virginia, through ViCAP and it’s a hit. There’s been 5 of the same crimes in the area in the past eight months.” 

He looked at her, trying to read her. 

“Alright, I’ll contact local police and see if we can get started tomorrow. Can you go through the case files for all of them and find all the similarities for the M.O., go through victimology, everything. Just so we’re prepared?”, he asked.

“Yep.”, she said, starting to walk out.

“Emily.”, he stopped her. “Are you alright?”, he asked. 

She turned around. “Yeah, why?”, she said, trying to act normal.

“You seem irritated.”, he said.

“Can we just talk about this tonight?”, she asked.

“Alright. But if you find it disrupting to your work, come find me.”, he told her.

“Will do.”, she said, walking out the door. 

  
  


Once it got dark and the day was over, everyone started packing up. JJ and Penelope walked over to Emily who was still deep into her case files. 

“Hey, Em. We just wanted to apologize about earlier. We didn’t mean to push you. We were just-“, Penelope started before Emily cut her off.

“Guys, it’s fine. I overreacted. It really had nothing to do with you. I just don’t really like talking about him much. It brings up old stuff and I just don’t like dealing with it but I’m alright. Thank you.”, Emily said, smiling.

JJ grabbed her shoulder. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”, she said.

“Have a goodnight.”, Emily smiled before going back to her work.

They walked out and once they were gone, Derek walked over to her, ready to leave. “So. There’s a guy?”, he asked, almost nervous. She could tell he was confused because she was seeing him now.

“Derek, calm down. It’s you but I had to come up with a cover. It’s not like I could tell them it was you.”, she reassured him.

“Okay, good. Because I like having you all to myself, princess.”, he said, leaning over and rubbing her shoulders, bringing his lips close to her neck. She had to admit, it felt good but then she remembered Hotch was still there.

“Derek.”, she said. He pulled away immediately. “We have to have some boundaries when we’re here. I don’t want us getting in trouble, alright?”

“Alright.”, he agreed, putting his hands up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”, she replied.

He walked out and she finished up her work.

She walked up to Hotch’s office and walked over to his desk and handed him the files. “I just finished, thought you might want to look over it.”, she said.

He took the files and sat down as he opened them. He looked over them for a couple minutes and closed them back up, handing them back to her.

“Looks perfect.”, he said.

“Great. You almost ready to go?”, she asked.

“Yeah, just let me finish up this one last thing. You can go ahead and grab your stuff and come in here while I finish.”, he said.

She walked to her desk, packed up, and went back in his office, setting her bag down, and taking a seat.

She pulled out a book and started reading while slouched in the chair, legs crossed. He looked up at it before looking back down at his work.

“The Catcher in the Rye. I remember you telling me about that.”, he said. She set it down in her lap. 

“Like I said, it’s a classic. I could read it over and over. I mean, I have read it over and over.”, she laughed.

“Very old school of you.”, Hotch said.

“You know I love my 50’s music. Why are you so surprised?”, she said.

“I’m not at all. But you are full of surprises.”, he smirked with his eyes looking up. She couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

“I could say the same about you.”, she said. 

He laughed quietly and then set his pen down. He sighed and stood up, starting to put his things in his briefcase. “Finally. Done.”, he said.

“Great! Come on! I could really use a drink.”, she said.

“I can tell.”, he chuckled as he came around to her side and they began walking out. She slapped his arm and smiled.

Once they got outside, they walked to their cars. “I’ll see you there.”, she said.

“Alright, drive safe.”, he called back.

  
  


Once they met up at the bar, they walked in together. “Wow, it’s packed.”, she said.

“It’s a popular place.”, he said.

“Yeah but it’s a Tuesday night.”, she said.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”, he asked.

“No. I like this place. This makes it more fun. Lively atmosphere. Now, come on. Let’s get a beer.”, she said, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bar top. 

Hotch tried waving down the bartender but couldn’t get his attention. Emily stepped over and leaned across the bar, intentionally letting her low cut shirt show off a little more than usual.

She waved the bartender down and he looked at her and came right over.

He smirked at her. “What can I get you?”, he nodded up.

“Two beers and two shots of vodka, please.”, she told him, grinning. Hotch couldn’t believe how flirtatious she was being. 

“You got it.”, the bartender said, winking at her.

He brought the drinks right back to them and said, “Anything else I can get you?”, leaning against the bar.

“Just that for now but... I’ll let you know.”, she smirked at him with seductive eyes.

She grabbed the drinks and handed 2 to Hotch while they walked over to a high top table a few feet away and sat down.

“So what was that?”, he asked.

“What?”, she giggled, taking a sip of her beer after her shot of vodka. 

“You showing off your... body to get a few drinks.”, he said.

“Aaron! It’s just a little flirting. Gets his attention, gets my drinks. Completely innocent. Girls do it all the time. I don’t take advantage of it... well... not too much.”, she said winking. He blushed when she did that and took a sip of his own beer. 

He noticed her top was still pretty low and wanted to be respectful but not awkward. “Em... your top is still... very low.”, he said.

She looked down and picked it up the tiniest bit. “No, it’s not.”, she said. “I’m fine. I’m a big girl.”

“I know, I just don’t want creeps staring at you.”, he said.

“Creeps stare at me even if I’m wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. It just happens, there’s nothing to do to stop that. I shouldn’t have to change what I wear just because some guy can’t handle it. That’s on them.”, she said.

“I know, I agree. I just worry about you.”, he said, grabbing her hand, looking at her with care.

“Thank you. But I’m fine.”, she said. She gave his hand a squeeze before letting go and taking another few sips of her beer.

“Alright, so what was it today?”, he asked.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”, she said.

“I told you that you seemed irritated and you asked if we could just talk about it tonight. Well, it’s tonight, so...”, he said.

“You know most of it, really. But Garcia and JJ were just hounding me about the other day and the guy and it hit a nerve, I guess. Just stuff from my past that’s not important and I like to forget it and I snapped at them and walked out and that’s when I came to you. That’s literally it.”, she said.

“What was so horrible that happened that made you not want to talk about it?”, he asked.

“Nothing horrible happened. I just don’t like going into that part of my life. It was a hard time but nothing horrible happened.”, she said.

“So, can you tell me about it?”, he asked.

She sighed. 

“I was 15. I went through something, it was hard, but I was fine. It really sucked but I’m a different person now.”, she paused while he looked at her. “Listen, I’d really like to just have a good night tonight. Can we not get into this? I just don’t want to talk about it.”, she asked him. 

“Alright, fine. You can open up to me about anything you’re having a hard time with, you know that, right?”, he asked her.

“I do. You’ve told me that a lot. And I appreciate it. But it was a long time ago. I’ve moved on. And I think you need to as well.”, she said, finishing her beer. “Now. I’m going to go get another drink. What do you want?”, she asked. 

“Scotch on the rocks.”, he said.

“I’ll be right back.”, she said.

After a few more rounds, Emily was really feeling it. She was feeling good, free, happy. Hotch had only a couple drinks and spaced it out. He could tell he might have to give her a ride. He wasn’t going to let her drive like that. He made sure that he would be pretty sober by the end of the night.

After a couple more drinks, Emily was giggling at everything Hotch said, making him laugh with her. He loved her laugh. It was so cute. He thought.

She stood up and said, “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.”

“Alright, I’ll be here.”, he said, watching her as she walked away, admiring every part of her body. He felt warm inside just looking at her and it wasn’t just the alcohol in his system. He laughed to himself and looked back at his water he had gotten. 

As Emily was walking to the bathroom, a guy stopped in front of her. “Oh, sorry. Excuse me.”, she said trying to be polite. 

The guy stopped her again. He seemed drunk but not wasted. 

“Heeeyy, I saw you up by the bar earlier.”, he slurred, slightly, low, quiet voice. He looked her up and down. “Nice top...”, he smirked. 

“Thaaanks...”, she said uncomfortably, trying to walk past him again. He stepped in front of her, blocking her from moving. Behind her was a table and no room next to her. It was loud and people weren’t paying attention. She was starting to get really nervous.

“Where ya goin?”, he asked. 

“I’m just trying to get to the bathroom, so if you’d just move...”, she said, trying again to walk ahead. He grabbed her wrist tight. 

Hotch was wondering what was taking her so long and looked across the large room, trying to spot her. Emily gasped when the guy grabbed her wrist. “Let go of me.”, she said.

“Now, why would I do that? We’re having such a nice time. We could go to the bathroom like you said and...”, he moved in closer to her.

“Get the hell off me, you asshole.”, she said through her teeth.

Hotch finally spotted her and saw the guy’s hands on her. He almost dropped his glass and pushed through the crowd of people until he got to her. 

The guy had grabbed her and started pushing her to the bathroom door as she was trying to push him away. She was about to use her FBI skills and kick him and throw him to the ground but Hotch got to him first. 

Hotch reached for the guy and grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him against the wall, twisting his arm behind him. 

“What the hell man! Get off me.”, the guy said. Hotch had his arm pressed on the guy’s neck up against the wall, just enough for it to hurt but not enough to cut off oxygen. 

“FBI, you son of a bitch.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron.” Emily said.

Somehow still nobody was paying attention to what was happening but maybe that was for the best now. Emily thought. She’d hate for Hotch to make a scene.

Hotch got close to him and said in his ear, “You just assaulted a federal agent. Either you walk out of here now and never come back to this bar, because I’ll make sure you’re banned, or I arrest your ass, right here, right now. Which would you prefer?”, he said.

“Aaron, stop.”, Emily said as she gently tried to pull him off. Hotch couldn’t even focus on Emily’s touch. He was too angry at the guy.

“Alright, alright! I’ll leave!”, the guy said, putting his hands up against the wall. 

“Wise choice.”, Hotch said and pushed his arm on his neck before releasing him. “Now get the hell out of here.”, Hotch glared at him. The guy looked back at them and practically ran out of the bar.

Hotch turned around to Emily, going back to feeling worried about her.

He thought she might be crying but she wasn’t. He grabbed her face and shoulder. “Em, are you okay?”, he was breathing heavy, adrenaline pumping hard.

“I’m fine, Aaron, I’m fine.”, she said, stroking his arm and grabbing his side, sounding surprisingly calm and nonchalant.

“Let’s get out of here.”, he said. 

“Sure.”, she said. Her heart wasn’t pumping fast, she wasn’t freaking out. She didn’t know why. 

Maybe it was because she didn’t feel like anything ended up really happening. Maybe it was because Hotch was there now and he made her feel calm and secure. She thought. 

Unsubs had hurt her pretty bad before. She’d been cut and punched and shot at and been fine. She just felt as if this was another thing like that but didn’t end up getting hurt from it. Overall, she was glad Hotch was there.

Hotch put his arm around her and she did too, as they placed some money on their table to pay for their drinks on the way out.

Once they got outside she was shivering. “Did you not bring a coat?”, he asked, looking at her. 

“No, I rushed out of the house this morning. Guess I forgot one.”, she chattered.

He took his suit jacket off. He still had his long sleeve button up and tie on. He cared about her being warm more. He put it on her and it hung off her shoulders and she wrapped it around her body. He hooked his arm around her, rubbing her arm, trying to comfort her and keep her warm.

She leaned into him with her head on the front of his shoulder. “Thanks.”, she said with a smile. He squeezed her tight in response.

“I’m driving you home. You can’t drive like this.”, he said.

“How am I going to get to work tomorrow?”, she asked.

“I’ll pick you up and we’ll drive together. Nobody will see us together, I get there earlier than everyone. It’ll be fine. It’s a huge parking lot here, people leave their cars overnight all the time. We’ll pick it up tomorrow after work or during lunch. I don’t care but I’m not letting you drive or go home alone right now, okay?”, he said. 

“Alright. Fine... you’re kind of bossy, you know that, right?”, she snarked.

“Yeah, well, I am your boss after all, so...”, he chuckled and she laughed along too. 

She felt warm suddenly and put her hand on his stomach and chest as she leaned into him more. 

They’re just friends, they’re just friends. They both kept trying to tell themselves. But it was hard to believe it and stay that way when they comforted each other at times like this and had feelings for each other.

  
  


They walked to his car and he helped her in and went around to his side and got in. It was silent for a moment before she spoke.

“I really thought for a moment you were gonna pull your gun back there.”, she said looking over at him and giggled.

“I wanted to do so much more to him than I did, Emily.”, he said seriously, looking over at her in his jacket still. 

“Aaron... I’m fine. How many times do I have to tell you that?”, she asked.

“No matter how many times you tell me that, I’m still going to worry. You know I worry about you and tonight was just one more reason why.”, he said.

“Okay, I get that but if I don’t feel too shaken up or freaked out, why are you?”, she asked.

“I already told you. I just-“, he started.

“Come on, you need to get over it.”, Emily said. She was starting to push his buttons.

They kept going back and forth fast, almost bickering but she didn’t seem frustrated at all. She was more amused at him being ridiculous. Finally she said, “You’re being ridiculous, it doesn’t even matter!”, she said. He snapped right after she said that. 

“Yes, it does, Emily! It does matter! Because you matter. Anything that happens to you... matters.”, he said and got quieter, looked at her, and grabbed her hand as she stared at him. “Emily, you matter. And if something happens to you, I won’t be okay. I don’t know how else to put it. I’m not okay when you are hurt. I’m not okay when you’re upset. I’m not okay when anything is keeping you from being happy. Because you deserve so much more than what life has given you so far. And that’s not fair. I want you to be happy. Why don’t you get that?”, he finished, staring into her eyes. Tears started forming in them.

She paused for a moment. He anticipated what she would say next even if she wouldn’t say anything next.

She looked down as she started to speak, “Why do you always have to do that?”, she asked, looking back up.

“Do what?”, he asked.

“Make me feel a way I shouldn’t.”, she said.

“About what?”, he asked.

“About you.”, she whispered. They stared at each other in silence, both desiring each other. “I’m sorry Aaro-“, she started but he cut her off.

“Shut up...”, he breathed and shook his head as he gently grabbed her face and brought his lips to hers. 

She couldn’t believe this was happening again. She decided to stop thinking and just go with it. She kissed him back, opening her mouth, their tongues dancing around with each other’s. Her hands came up to his face and hair. He pulled her in more and after a minute, their lips broke apart but kept their faces touching, breathing heavy on each other. 

He brushed her hair out of her face and they kissed again, deep, inhaling while their lips were pressed to each other’s. 

She whispered in his ear, “Aaron... take me home.” Her tone was seductive and he knew how she meant it. She moved her head back to face him close and bit her lip with a grin.

“Okay.”, he said, smiling right back.


	14. May As Well Enjoy the Rest of the Night

**Chapter 14**

* * *

As Hotch and Emily were driving back to her place, their hands were intertwined, allowing him to have one hand on the wheel. Their hearts beating fast, knowing what’s about to happen once they get out of the car.

Once they arrived, he parked and they both got out. She grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her and went in for a kiss. She pulled away after a few seconds.

“Let’s go inside.”, she smiled.

“Lead the way.”, he said.

Not having let go of his tie, she dragged him right behind her all the way to her door upstairs.

Once they were inside, she closed the door behind her and they took their shoes off. He turned around and pushed her up against the door. He grabbed her face and pulled her in as their lips met and her arms went around his neck. 

He grabbed her waist and lifted her up, keeping her steady between him and the door as she wrapped her legs around him.

She gasped as he started kissing her neck all the way down below her collarbone while his hands moved there too. He took a hold of her breast in his hand and gripped it, letting her fingers run through his hair. 

While he started to suck on her soft, warm, skin, she moaned, making him go crazier and nipping at it while his tongue was running over the area. 

He sucked harder until there was a mark. She didn’t even care this time. She knew she could remember to wear a shirt that covered it up. It felt too good to tell him to stop until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Aaron...”, she moaned.

He went back up to her lips and kissed her. “What, Em?”, he asked, breathing hard.

“I need you.”, she said , breathing just as hard. He smiled and put his hands on her ass, squeezing it while pushing up against, making them both moan.

Finally, he picked her up and kept his hands in the same place. 

She kissed him while he carried her upstairs to her room. He laid her down on the bed as he threw himself on top of her, his legs in between hers spreading them wide and his arms on either side of her head. 

Kissing each other deep before he took his tie off and she untucked his shirt. He leaned down and brought his mouth to her again when she unbuttoned his shirt. When it was completely off, she felt her way down his bare chest and it was hard. She opened her eyes to look at him when she saw his abs and felt his biceps on her when she brought her hands around to his back, holding onto him.

Both breathing loud, him against her chest while he ran his hands slowly under her shirt feeling her flat stomach and perfect breasts covered with her bra and pulling the shirt off along with his jacket that was still on her, when she sat up more. 

She reached for his neck and face and pulled him back down with her. He broke their kiss and looked at her up and down, amazed at her. She was so perfect, thin but not too skinny, her pale skin that was so soft and her perfume that never seemed to fade away. He stared at her in her light pink lace bra. 

“You’re so beautiful, Em.”, he told her.

“So you’ve said.”, she laughed. He touched her face and traced his fingers along it, admiring every feature.

“I don’t care. It’s true. You’re so goddamn beautiful.”, he said, looking at her eyes. She smiled shyly and he swore he could see a sparkle in her eyes. He smiled right back at her until he kissed her again, this time with even more emotion and more passion. Both of them opening their mouths, going back and forth with it. He bit her bottom lip and lightly pulled down, making her whimper but in a good way.

Right as he was about to undo the button and zipper on her pants, his phone rang. They stopped reluctantly. He knew it was either his wife or work and so did Emily. Regardless of which one it was, he knew he had to answer it.

He got off of Emily and walked over to his jacket on the ground. She looked at his back muscles as he leaned over.

He grabbed his phone and tried to regulate his breathing again before answering.

He didn’t recognize the number and knew it must be work related. A sense of relief washed over him, that it wasn’t his wife. He sat on the edge of the bed and answered it. 

“Hotchner.”, he said, professionally.

Emily loved it when he spoke like that. She thought it was so hot. 

She sat up and couldn’t help herself when she scooted down the bed and sat behind him. Still no shirt, she pressed herself up against his back, feeling their skin touching, and wrapped her arms around his torso, holding on as her legs were hanging off the bed, each on the outside of each of his legs. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

He almost couldn’t focus when she did that but reached a hand to stroke her arm and continued on the phone.

“Yes... alright, I’ll contact our communications liaison and get the rest of our team to the office. We’ll brief the case and meet you at the station in a few hours... Of course... Thank you, sir... We’ll be there shortly.”, Hotch hung up the phone. 

He sighed and dropped his head. Emily brought her head up and kissed his neck and rubbed his head, running her fingers through his hair. 

“Let me guess. That was the local P.D. for the case we were waiting to go in for tomorrow?”, she said.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his forehead. “Yeah...”, he said, agitated yet calm.

“It’s alright. We’ll go in. Just call JJ and she’ll let the others know.”, she said, kissing his neck again, trying to relax him.

“I know... it’s just that this is not what I had planned to happen right now. Work always interrupts everything. It gets in the way of everything, Emily. Sometimes I wonder...”, he started.

“Aaron, what?”, she said.

He waited a moment. “Sometimes I wonder if I should even be doing this job. I feel like I’m losing so much to it. I have to make so many sacrifices because of it. And... I just don’t know if it’s worth it anymore.”, he said, refusing to face her. He didn’t like to feel weak or vulnerable in front of her but he also felt he could be himself with her.

She sighed. “Aaron... you’re amazing at your job. If you truly don’t want to let something go, you just gotta make sure you remind yourself how important it is. There’s no one better to do what you do. I’ve worked all over the world. Literally. You’re the best unit chief for the BAU. Trust me. You can’t doubt yourself or let this job get to you. It’s shaped who you are and made you the amazing man you are.”, she said, continuing to kiss his neck up to his jaw and back down again.

“Thank you. I’m just stuck in my head, getting lost in all these doubts and worries.”, he said.

“Well...”, she said, sitting back up on the bed and turning him to face her. He crossed one leg on the bed and looked at her. “How about... we make some coffee, help relax you for a few minutes, take a breather, and we’ll head to the BAU?”, she suggested.

“You’re right, you’re right.”, he agreed. 

“Oh, um... you might want to wear a shirt to cover that up... This time it’s my fault.”, he chuckled. 

“Yeah... that might be a good idea.”, she laughed.

She walked into her closet while Hotch grabbed his shirt, tie, and jacket. He pulled his shirt on and before he could finish buttoning up the top half of it, he looked at Emily. He stared at her back and took in all her beauty. He walked over to her while she was picking out a shirt and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder this time, kissing her neck. 

She giggled and reached her hand behind her to grab his head and held it while he nuzzled in between her head and shoulder against her neck.

“Thank you.”, he whispered.

“For what?”, she said.

“For being you. For being there for me. For being so amazing.”, he said.

“You bring out this side in me I guess. Just for you, so, it’s not all me.”, she said.

“I’m just lucky to be able to have you in my life at all. No matter what we are... labeled as or anything. Just you being here is enough.”, he said.

She turned around and he kept his hands on her waist. She put her hand on his chest.

“Aaron, you deserve so much... I wish you could see that.”, she said, turning back around and grabbing a thin light blue and white striped button up and a tight gray cardigan sweater to go over it. It worked perfect to cover up the mark he’d left on her chest. 

He ran his hand down her bare back, sending chills down her spine and walked back over to grab his tie while buttoning up the rest of his shirt.

She walked out of her closet, changed in the new top.

She went up to him slinging his tie on and she grabbed it and did it for him, pulling it tight at the end and pulling him down for a kiss before she walked downstairs to start a pot of coffee before they left. 

Hotch grabbed his phone and slipped it in his jacket as he put it on. He walked downstairs and over to the counter in the kitchen area where Emily was brewing coffee.

She pulled out two mugs and set them down. She faced him and leaned on her side on the island, tilting her head to the side to look at him softly. 

“Hey... it’s gonna be alright. You are not giving up. I won’t let you.”, she said standing up and crossing her arms.

“You won’t let me?”, he asked, moving closer to her.

“Mmhmm.”, she replied.

“Well, in that case...”, he grabbed her arms out straight and she wrapped them around his neck. He slowly brought his arms around her and his lips to hers.

He didn’t even feel bad that night about what he was doing. He was sure he would whenever he went home next and looked at his wife but for now, he’d already been on top of her, seen her partially naked, made out with her, he may as well enjoy the rest of the night with her. He thought.

“Why do we keep doing this?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... but you’re very hard to resist.”, he smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Suddenly, she thought about Derek. Should she feel guilty about this? It’s not like her and Derek were exclusive. Were they? She wondered. But then she thought the same thing as Hotch. 

He’d already been on top of her, seen her partially naked, made out with her, she may as well enjoy the rest of the night with him.

She’d wait till the next day to talk to Derek about what they were and what it meant.

“I’m sorry tonight didn’t turn out like... we’d hoped for.”, he said.

“Just getting to spend time with you... and see you throw a guy up against a wall...”, she giggled, “... is good. And I can’t say that wasn’t pretty hot...”, she smirked.

“Oh?”, he said.

She nodded and bit down on her lip and smiled. “You’re a very... strong man. Very... powerful.”, she said, in between kisses.

“I see. Well I’m a very respectful man too.”, he said, meeting her lips after every couple words.

“Oh, of course.”, she said in a seductive tone.

“You mean... like this?”, he asked as he picked her up and sat her on the edge of the island. She shrieked and laughed as he did so, bringing his mouth to hers again with his hands holding her sides and hers on either side of his face.

“Yeah. You could say something like that.”, she smiled. 

“I think the coffee’s ready.”, he said after a couple minutes. 

She hopped off the counter with his help. Hotch helped her pour the cups of coffee and they leaned against the island as they sipped it.

“I’m gonna call JJ now and let her know to get ahold of the rest.”, he told her.

“Go for it.”, she said.

He set his coffee down and dialed JJ’s number. “Hey JJ, we got the call from local P.D. They’ve invited us in. I told them I’d get ahold of you and we’d all brief the case back at work and then head straight to their station after. Can you let everyone know? I’m heading out in a few minutes... Great, thank you. See you soon.”

“I guess I should be expecting a call from her any minute.”, she said.

“Buuuut... in the meantime...”, he said, pulling her into him, right as their lips were about to touch, her phone rings.

“Wow, we just keep getting interrupted tonight.”, she said reaching over and grabbing her phone, Hotch still holding onto her. 

“Hey JJ, what’s up?... Right now?... Um, alright, yeah, I’ll get ready and head down, thanks... Yeah, bye.”, she hung up.

Bringing her lips back to his, seeing him smile, always made her feel better. 

“Think I played it off well?”, she asked.

“Very well.”, he smirked, kissing her again.

“Alright, finish your coffee. We gotta go so we can get there before everyone else so no one knows... you know.”, she laughed. 

“Yes ma’am.”, he said.

“Uh uh. That’s my thing.”, she said.

“Alright, fine. Finish your coffee and let’s go, Prentiss.”, he joked.

“Yes sir.”, she laughed. “I told you it sounds much better coming out of my mouth. Besides when you say “ma’am”, it makes me feel like a withered up, ugly, old lady.”

“You are anything but.”, he said, putting his arm around her back and kissing the side of her head, as she grabbed her keys and put their shoes on, walking out.

  
  


It was almost 1:00 in the morning when they got to the BAU. They looked to see if anyone was nearby and got out of the car when they didn’t spot anybody.

“Alright, I think we’re good. I think we beat everyone here.”, Hotch said, locking the car. 

Emily came around to his side as he started walking and she stopped him.

“Good. Because then I can do this.”, she said, grabbing his jacket and stepping in closer, kissing him.

“Mmmm. Let’s get inside first.”, he said. She started shivering. “God, Em, you’re freezing. Why didn’t you bring a coat? And why didn’t I notice?”, he said, taking his jacket off and giving it to her for the second time that night.

“Because we aren’t outside much during this job and... I forgot. I’m sorry.”, she looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, mainly joking. 

He sighed and laughed. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”, he said.

As they started walking to the building, he put his arm around her, trying to warm her up. She leaned into him again.

They made their way inside and got to his office where he set his stuff down. 

He went to sit at his desk when Emily walked over and sat on his lap and started playing with his tie. 

“Emily.”, he laughed, “Someone could come in any minute and see us through this window.”, he said.

“They won’t. I’m watching it. I got an eye on it. And... I got my other eye right here.”, she said looking at his lips and back up to his eyes, grinning. “Come on, Aaron. You’ve kissed me once before in here.”, she said, raising an eyebrow. 

“You are something else, aren’t you? There’s so many different sides to you than people would even know.”, he said, leaning back in his chair with his hands crossed behind his head. 

“Yep. And that’s why you should kiss me.”, she smiled.

“Oh. My. God.”, he said. “Emily Prentiss... you are pretty wild.”

“Aaron Hotchner... you are making me frustrated.”, she said.

“So sorry.”, he pouted, trying not to laugh. She gave him the stink eye and he pulled her in, laughing. “I’m kidding, Em. Come here.”, he said.

It was a sweet kiss. It felt like they couldn’t keep their hands off each other whenever they were together. Her hands started to wander.

“Whoa, whoa, Emily. If you do that anymore, we’re going to have a problem.”, he said. She looked confused.

“I’m going to have a problem.”, he said.

She laughed and looked down and closed her eyes. “Oh, right. I forgot what I can do to you. My apologies, sir.”, she said.

“You’re right, it does sound better coming out of your mouth.”, he said pulling her in for one more kiss. “Alright, go put your stuff down. They should be here any minute and I don’t want to have to explain why one of my agents is sitting on my lap in my office with no one else here, to other subordinates.”, he said.

“Yes, sir.”, she smirked. 

“Emily.”, he warned her. 

“Fine!”, she said and hopped off his lap, walking down to her desk with her other bag. She’d left one in her car earlier that night so she decided to bring a different one instead of taking the time to stop by the parking lot at the bar.

After a few minutes passed, everybody walked in. Hotch walked out of his office and down to everyone’s desks.

“Alright, everyone, we have to be at the police station in an hour, let’s get started.”, he said, walking into the conference room as everyone else followed. 

Emily sat down next to Hotch and Derek sat down on her other side. Suddenly, she felt so awkward. Her in between the two men she was... well... involved with she thought. 

JJ presented the case and when she was done, Hotch said, “Alright, when we get there, JJ, Gideon, I want you to stay there and talk to some of the families, coordinate with the cops and detectives. Derek and Reid, go to the M.E. 's office and examine the last bodies of the victims and Prentiss, you and I will go to the last crime scene. Let’s head over, it’s about a 30 minute drive.” 

They all split up and Derek walked over to Emily while Hotch grabbed his things from his office.

“Hey, princess. How was girls night?”, he grinned.

“What? Oh yeah, um it was fine. Way too much to drink.”, she let out a fake laugh.

Hotch started to walk out but overheard Emily and Derek talking.

“Well, hopefully you’re still up for our date tonight if we still get to have it. I don’t know how long we’ll be working this case today.”, he said.

Hotch’s blood started boiling. What did he mean ‘date’? He thought.

“You know, I’m actually thinking maybe we should reschedule. I don’t feel 100% and we’re both gonna be pretty tired if we even do get to go home after.”, she said.

“Alright, well, I’ll make it up to you.”, he said.

“Make it up to me? I’m the one cancelling.”, she said.

“Yeah but you aren’t feeling good so I’ll do something extra special to make up for it. Just go along with it, Emily.”, he said.

“Alright, sure.”, she agreed.

“Great. I’ll see you at the station.”, he said walking away.

She felt bad lying to him still. And to Hotch. She turned around and Hotch was standing in his office looking down at his desk. She didn’t know but he’d heard the whole thing.

She walked in. “Hey, you ready to go?”, she asked.

He was about to bring up the conversation she’s just had with Derek but decided to wait till after they got off work, they needed to focus on the case.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”, he said, walking right past her and keeping a fast pace way ahead of her. 

Once they got to the elevator, she said, “Oh, no, I’m fine, I’ll just get left behind. No problem. Jeez, what’s up with the speed walking?” 

He took a deep breath, pushed all the other feelings aside, and tried to pretend he’d never heard anything a few minutes ago. 

“Nothing, I just really wanna get there. I’ll slow down for you, slow poke.”, he flashed her a grin to let her know he was okay.

“Alright...”, she said, still a bit skeptical.

They got to the car and with the tinted windows, she felt compelled to grab him. 

She crashed her lips onto his as he tasted her sweet lips. She released and bit her lip, smiling.

“It’s only been an hour but I feel like I’ve been waiting so long to get you alone again.”, she said. He chuckled and took her hand in his as they backed out and headed for the station.

He decided to stay silent for the rest of the day. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic but he knew he had to.


	15. Cutting Off Everything

**Chapter 15**

* * *

  
  


After they were done with work for the night, Emily rode with Hotch. He was driving her back to her car which was still parked at the bar from the night before. 

Once they got there, she leaned over and was about to kiss him but he looked down. “Emily. I need to ask you something.”, he said.

She sat back in her seat. “Okay...”, she said.

“I know you’re going to get mad at me for asking this but I need to know... I wasn’t eavesdropping but... I overheard you and Derek talking earlier and I just want to know... are you involved wi-“, before he could finish, she blurted out, “Yes.”

He looked back up at her with sad eyes. “Well, kind of. He wants to take me out on a  _ real _ date this time.”, she said quietly. 

“ _ This _ time?”, he asked, sounding hurt.

She realized the wording she’d used and now she had to tell him the whole truth.

“There was no old friend who was in town the other night... I was with Derek...”, she said. His heart stopped.

“But I wasn’t lying when I was talking about my past last night. There really was a guy who I was involved with and that time in my life was... messy. He just wasn’t the one I was with the other night.”, she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked, looking back up at her.

“Because, it’s not official and I didn’t want you to be jealous or get mad. I’m sorry...”, she apologized.

“You said it was a drunken mistake...”, he said.

“Yes, and it was.”, she said.

“But you’re going on a date with him.”, he pointed out.

“Well, yes, I wanted to see where things could maybe go. This was before what happened between you and I this time. I didn’t know that was going to go down.”, she said.

He paused and looked down.

“How many times, Emily?”, he asked.

“What?”, she whispered.

“How many times! How many times was he on top of you, doing the same thing I was! How many times did he go even further! How many times did you sleep with him?”, he almost yelled. He finally quieted down a bit. “Because, if it really was a drunken mistake, you wouldn’t have agreed to go out with him. It would’ve taken more to convince you. So how many times was he with you, Emily?”, he asked, looking back up at her.

There were tears in her eyes. This was exactly why she didn’t want to tell him about Derek.She rolled her lips in. 

“Twice.”, she whispered.

He ran his fingers through his hair and slammed his steering wheel. “I don’t get why you didn’t tell me!”, he exclaimed.

“Because I knew you’d act like this, Aaron! I knew you’d get all... I don’t know, upset.”, she was yelling now too, throwing her hands up.

“Well, you were right. Really, I’m upset because you reassured me there was nothing going on so many times and once something finally  _ did _ happen, you lied to me about it!”, he said.

“We’re not dating, Aaron. You’re not my boyfriend. I should be able to see whoever I want and do what I want. I don’t think you really get a say in that.”, she said, trying not to hurt his feelings too much.

He got quiet and looked in her eyes and took her hand. “That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”, he said. Now, she felt a tear falling down her face. He wiped it away with his free hand and cocked his head to the side. “I’m sorry, Em. I just don’t like seeing you with other people. I like being able to think I’m the only one who gets to hold you and take care of you, make you feel good. Because you make  _ me _ feel good.”, he said.

“ _ Yeah _ , I  _ get that _ . I really do. But you’re  _ married _ and have a  _ family _ . You think it’s any easier for  _ me _ ? It’s  _ not _ .”, she said.

“I feel guilty everyday for what keeps happening between us. And the worst part is, I don’t even know  _ what this is _ .”, she said.

“I don’t either and I know we can’t continue doing this. But I’m  _ drawn _ to you. I can’t control it. You make me feel something I truly haven’t felt before and that sounds stupid, I know, but... you  _ do _ . And I don’t want to let go of you. It hurt too much this past time even though I don’t even know if I  _ had you _ .”, he said.

“I know.”, she said, putting her forehead against his and grabbing his face. “But this is too messy. We can’t continue to do this if you’re still married and wrapped up in so much. It’s not fair to anyone. To Haley, to Jack, to you...”, she said. 

“Or to  _ you _ ... I know.”, he said quietly. “So what do we do?”, he asked.

“I don’t know... I think we need to just be friends.  _ Actually _ just friends. We have to make sure we don’t cross the line.”, she said.

“Em... I don’t know if I can do that. I can’t help myself when I’m around you. All I want to do whenever I get the chance to be alone with you is hold you and kiss you and...”, he sighed, “... I can’t do that. I can’t be just friends and not do all those things. It’s too hard for me.”, he said, looking up at her.

“What are you saying, Aaron?”, she asked, worried, choking back more tears.

“I’m saying... I can’t be anything more than your boss right now...”, he said, pulling away.

“No, don’t do that. You don’t get to just say all these things to me right now and then just tell me we have to pretend nothing ever happened, right after. That we aren’t even  _ friends _ anymore! You don’t get to do that.”, she said, letting more tears fall, wiping them away herself this time, after waiting a few seconds to see if he would.

“I’m sorry, Emily... But I think you should go now. I can’t sit here much longer before I break down in front of you and I really can’t handle that right now.”, he said, looking straight ahead.

“That’s really it? That’s all you have to say?”, she asked.

He sighed, holding in tears. “Please text me when you get home safe...”, he said, still not looking at her.

She sat there silent for a moment, trying to speak until she found the words,

“Screw you, Aaron.”, she grabbed her bag and slammed his car door and got into her own and drove off. 

Once she left, Hotch sat in his car for a minute, completely still, wanting to punch something for saying all that to Emily but he took a deep breath and bottled it up inside. He drove off and went home.

  
  


As Emily drove home, tears were falling down her face, she could barely see the street because of them. 

She got home and sat down on the couch. She wanted to be alone but also needed comfort. She finally stopped crying but still sounded stuffed up from it. 

She decided to call Derek. She pulled her phone out and dialed his number.

It rang a few times and then he answered.

“Hey, princess. What are you doing up?”, he asked, he sounded sleepy. She knew she probably woke him up. It was 2:00 am after all. 

“Can you come over?”, she asked. He could her the sadness in her voice and the sniffling coming from her.

He woke up more and his tone got more serious. “Emily, what’s going on? Are you alright?”, he asked. 

“Can you just come over, Derek? Please?”, she asked.

“I’m on my way.”, he said. She hung up before she started crying again. 

She laid down on the couch and almost fell asleep until she heard the knock on her door. She hadn’t even changed out of her work clothes. She slowly got up and slid over to the door in her socks. 

She opened the door and Derek stood there. She almost immediately burst into tears but didn’t want him to see her like that so she wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her tight.

Once she could bury her face in his shoulder that’s when she let it all out. He stroked her hair to try and soothe her and eventually pulled his head away and looked down at hers and kissed the top of it. She started to calm down a bit.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s going on, Em?”, he said.

When she heard him call her “ _ Em” _ , she started crying again but not as much. 

That’s what Hotch always called her. Sometimes her friends did but Hotch always called her “ _ Em” _ and it made her heart hurt to hear someone else say it.

She backed up and wiped the tears of her face and smiled at him. 

She’d worn waterproof mascara that day so it barely smudged. She smiled up at him and walked inside with him following behind her, closing the door.

“I’m sorry if I worried you. I just really needed someone to come over right now and the only person I really wanted was you.”, she said, walking to the kitchen area. 

“Alright. Well, I’m here, of course, I’ll always come over for you. But can you tell me what’s got you so upset?”, he said, walking over next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder as she grabbed a glass of water.

“I know I called you over, but I don’t really want to talk about it. I just needed you here.”, she said.

“Emily, whenever you’re upset, you never want to talk about it. You need to let people in more. You can’t just bottle it all up inside. So please, tell me. What’s going on?”, he asked. She knew she couldn’t tell him the truth, for many reasons. But she also hated lying. 

She looked at him and grabbed his face and brought his lips to hers. He enjoyed it for a moment but pulled away. “Emily, come on. Talk to me.”, he said, still holding her.

“We’ll talk tomorrow. I’m too overwhelmed right now and just need rest and a distraction. Will you stay the night, please?”, she asked.

He sighed, giving up on it for the night.

“Sure... As long as you don’t mind me sleeping in my boxers. I didn’t exactly bring my pajama pants or anything.”, he laughed.

“Derek, I’ve seen you  _ naked _ . I don’t care if you wear boxers.”, she laughed.

“Okay, good. Now go get changed and get in bed. I’m making us tea.”, he ordered.

“Mmmkay.”, she said and smiled before she gave him a quick kiss and walked upstairs.

He pulled out a tea kettle and two tea bags of chamomile. While the water was heating up, Emily was upstairs, getting changed. She went for a tank top in her drawer but realized he’d be able to see the dark, massive hickey Hotch left on her chest. She went with her favorite gray Harvard t-shirt and plaid pajama shorts. 

She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth before washing her face. She felt comfortable enough around Derek for him to see her without any makeup. She didn’t wear much makeup anyways, mainly just mascara and sometimes a bit of close neutral toned or pink lipstick that closely match her natural lip color. 

She dried her face off and walked out and got in her bed. She set the pillow up and sat up against the wall, under the covers.

She grabbed her phone that she’d set on her night table and noticed a text from Hotch. “ _ Did you get home safe? _ ”, he’d asked. It said he’d sent the text over a half hour ago.

She debated whether or not to reply. She didn’t want to speak to him but didn’t want him to worry either. 

Right as she opened it and clicked on the text bar, her finger hovered over the keyboard. She was about to click the Y button to start to say “yes”, but Derek walked in and she closed out her texts and turned her phone off, setting it in her lap. 

She smiled up at him, reaching for the cup of tea he was handing her.

“Careful, it’s hot.”, he warned her.

“Thanks.”, she said. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“You’re my girl now, aren’t you?”, he asked, walking over to the other side of the bed where he set his own cup down on the night table. She looked down and quietly laughed, shy.

“Actually, I’ve wanted to talk to you about that...”, she said.

“Hold on, give me a minute. I’m sorry, I want to listen and talk about that but I gotta get out of these clothes and go to the bathroom before we do.”, he said.

“Sure.”, she said. She watched him strip off all his clothes till he was only in his boxers. 

“I’ll be right back.”, he said, walking into the bathroom. She looked over and set her tea cup and phone down on her night table. 

She started to pull the comforter up to her from the end of the bed that was messed up and scrunched at the bottom of it. It was from her and Hotch moving all over it the night before.

When she brought it up to her, she saw something buried in it. The lights were out in the bedroom but it wasn’t pitch black. She leaned over and picked it up. It was a black leather wallet. 

She opened it, confused until she saw the drivers license. It was Hotch’s wallet. 

She freaked out. It must’ve fallen out of his suit or pants when they were on her bed the night before. Her mind was racing. 

_ Should she text him now and tell him? Should she just give it to him in the morning? Should she just leave it on his desk when he wasn’t looking tomorrow that way she wouldn’t have to talk to him? How did he not notice it was missing? If she texted him now, he would know for sure she’d been avoiding his text from earlier. _ She thought.

She decided to just leave it on his desk in the morning.  _ But he’d probably wonder where it was in the morning when he got ready for work. _ She thought. She decided not to worry about it. She knew she had it and would give it back.

She heard the sink turn off and the door handle start to turn on the bathroom door. She panicked and opened her night table drawer fast and threw the wallet in, shutting it back up.

Derek walked out and climbed over her onto the side of the bed he was sleeping on. He got under the covers and moved next to her, sitting up against the wall as well. 

He grabbed her hand and held it. She leaned her head back and looked at him as he did the same.

“I’m glad you called me.”, he said.

“I’m glad you  _ came _ .”, she said.

“Always, princess.”, he said.

“So... I wanted to ask you... what are we? Are we exclusive?”, she asked.

“Is that what you want?”, he asked.

“I don’t know, I mean, I love being with you. Obviously we enjoy spending time with each other, regardless of what we’re doing. And I want to be with you. I mean...  _ I’d _ like to be exclusive but I want to know how you feel.”, she said.

“I don’t think we need to say any more than that. It seems like we’re pretty compatible, seeing as how I couldn’t say that better, myself.”, he said, looking into her eyes. 

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah. I want this. I want ‘ _ us _ ’. I want  _ you _ . And I want you to let me show you that and prove it to you everyday.”, he said.

She smiled at him, looking from his lips to eyes and bringing them together for a sweet, meaningful kiss, no tongue this time, just enjoying the nice moment without going too far. She pulled back and smiled, as they looked deep into each other’s eyes. 

“Good. And I’m sorry for being on edge and distant lately. I’ve just been going through some stuff but I think it’s passed now. I think it’s all done, it’s over.”, as she heard herself say those words, it all became real again and choked back some tears she felt coming on. 

It was over between her and Hotch. He made it very clear. And she couldn’t keep reminding herself of that moment he told her. It was too painful but now she had Derek. And that made her feel better. Maybe she  _ could _ be happy, she thought.

“I’m exhausted, I’m gonna try and get some sleep now.”, she said, picking her up her pillow and laying it flat, dropping her head onto it. 

“I’m with ya.”, he said, doing the same.

Once he laid down, he scooted up against her, wrapping his arm over her body and grabbing her hand, bodies pressed against each other. He kissed her neck and said, “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.”, she said, rubbing her thumb along his hand.

Within minutes, they were both asleep.  _ Him _ holding her tight and  _ her _ feeling loved, knowing he wasn’t going anywhere.

  
  



	16. The Wallet

**Chapter 16**

* * *

The alarm clock didn’t wake Emily up the next morning but Derek’s mouth on her neck did.

“Mmmm.”, she hummed, smiling, rolling over to face him. She brought her leg up and around his waist, scooting into him, and bringing her arm around his neck. She let her other hand wander down his chest and abs until she got to the waist of his boxers.

He chuckled. “Well, good morning to you too, princess.”

“It’s good so far, seeing as I’m waking up next to you.”, she grinned.

“Yeah, I uh- I don’t mind that either.”, he smiled, bringing her chin closer to him and planting a kiss on her lips. “You feeling any better?”, he asked.

“Now that you’re here, yes.”, she said.

She rolled over on top of him and hovered over him. He combed her hair out of her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, she moved down to his neck.

“I’d _say_ _so_. Someone’s feeling _a lot_ better. But you know, we still need to talk about last night. You said you’d tell me what happened.”, he said.

“Shhhh...”, she hushed him. She figured this was a good way to distract him from the topic _and_ to make sure he wouldn’t take a shower with her because if he did, he would see the mark on her chest. 

“Emily... come on now, can’t we talk?”, he said.

She didn’t reply. She started kissing him all the way down his body and he groaned. 

She decided to take care of _him_ after he’d been there for her all night. She got to the waist of his boxers and tugged them down.

  
  


Twenty minutes later he was getting in the shower. “You sure you don’t want to join me?”, he asked.

She grabbed her phone and got up. “You take your time. I’m gonna make some breakfast. Eggs and coffee alright?”, she said as she started walking downstairs.

“Sounds perfect.”, he called out after her while turning the shower on.

She walked over to the fridge and pulled the eggs out and set them on the island. 

She turned her phone on and checked her texts. She didn’t have any new ones. Not from anyone. Not even from Hotch. 

She put her phone down and continued to make breakfast. Ten minutes later, it was ready. She was so hungry she decided to eat without waiting for him. When she was done, she went upstairs.

She saw Derek walking over to his clothes on the ground, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He turned around when he heard her and she bit her lip and smiled. She walked over to him and reached up to kiss him. 

“You better dry off. Eggs and coffee are waiting downstairs for you.”, she said.

“I think I might need some help drying off.”, he smirked.

“Mmmm? I think you got it. Get changed and go eat. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”, she told him, walking to the bathroom. 

She closed the door behind her as a wide smile spread across her face. 

She took her clothes off and got in the shower, thinking about how happy Derek made her feel. She so badly wanted him this morning but knew she’d have to wait a few days for him to see her without a top on at least. 

Once she got out of the shower, she dried off and combed her hair. She looked in the mirror at her chest, staring at the hickey Hotch left that had barely faded away yet. 

Looking at it made her start to feel angry. A lot of times when she got angry, when it was personal, she cried. She didn’t know why but she couldn’t help it. She pushed it out of her mind as he finished drying off and threw her shirt on, not caring about wearing her shorts because the shirt was big enough. 

She decided to wear black dress pants and a tight blue cardigan sweater but not the v-neck one, with her black boots. They were her favorite pair and she wore them almost everyday. They went with almost every outfit she had. They had thick heels but were still easy to run in while out in the field and were comfortable enough to be in all day.

She tried to get dressed quickly without going back in the bathroom so Derek wouldn’t have to see her naked.

Once she got changed, she went back into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. After she blow dried her hair and curled it, she put mascara on, making her eyelashes look even longer and her brown eyes distinguished.

She applied a bit of concealer and foundation but not too much because her skin was already very clear. And last, put on a lipstick that came close to matching her natural lip color.

She walked downstairs and saw Derek on his phone, sipping his coffee. “Hey, you.”, she said, walking over to him. 

“Look at you.”, he said, turning around on his bar stool to face her. “You look gorgeous no matter _what_ you wear. How do you do that?”, he grabbed her sides and pulled her in for a kiss while he stayed sitting down.

Her arms hung straight, over his shoulders. “Just wait till you see me in this _tight black dress_ I have hidden away in my closet.”, she smirked.

“Ohhh. Can you wear that when we go out?”, he asked.

She shrugged, “Mmm, depends on where you’re taking me.”, she teased.

“Anywhere you want to go. Anywhere that’ll require you to wear something like that.”, he said.

“I can think of a few places.”, she said.

“Oh yeah?”, he said, looking at her, biting his lip. 

“Mmmhmmm.”, she hummed as she leaned in for another kiss. “But for now, we gotta stick to this because...”, she checked her watch, “... we have to be at work in thirty minutes.”, she said, putting her wrist down.

He brought his hands to where her back pockets would be on her pants and pulled her in for one last kiss. “Alright.”, he said, getting up and releasing her.

She grabbed her bag and turned to him. 

“Oh, do you need to stop by your place to grab your bag?”, she asked.

“No, I keep it in my car, just in case moments like this happen. It did before anyways.”, he said.

“Alright, good.”, she said. 

They started walking out and she locked up. Once they got to the stairs she remembered Hotch’s wallet. “Oh, damn. I forgot my phone inside. You go ahead.”, she said.

“I’ll wait.”, he told her.

“No, no, really. We’re taking separate cars anyways. It’s fine.”, she said, rushed.

“What if we didn’t? We could go together. I could come back with you later. Spend the night again? Have that talk you’re avoiding?”, he asked.

“Ummmm... okay. Yeah, sure. That’s fine. I’ll be right down. Go ahead and start the car, get it warmed up.”, she told him.

She headed back inside as he walked down the stairs of the building and outside to the car.

She ran upstairs to her room and walked over to her night table and pulled out the wallet. She stared at it for a moment and opened it to look at the photo on his license as she traced it with her finger. 

She wanted to look through it and see what else was in there. If he had any photos of his family that he kept close to him or any little notes that were packed in. But she just stuffed it in her bag and walked back downstairs and locked up again.

Once she got to the car, Derek was waiting with the car running. “Hey, sorry. Ready?”, she said.

“Ahhh. I forgot something too.”, he said, looking all around the car and feeling around in his pockets.

“What is it?”, she asked.

He stopped and looked at her with a big grin on his face. “This.”, he said, grabbing her face and softly placing his lips on hers. 

When he pulled his lips away but stayed close to her face, holding it, she bit her lip and blushed. “Oh. _That_.”, she said, smiling. She kissed him one more time and then they drove off.

  
  


When they arrived at work, they got out of the car and walked normal next to each other with no physical contact. He knew how Emily felt about that at work. It was risky and the last thing he would want is to get her in trouble. And himself but he typically worried about her more.

  
  


Emily set her things on her desk, while Derek did the same. She looked up to see if Hotch was in his office but his blinds were shut. The door was open though. She saw JJ setting something up in the conference room.

She decided to go in and ask her if she needed help, giving her an excuse to walk by his office on the way there to see if he was inside.

She grabbed the wallet from her bag, holding it to her side to try and hide it. She walked up the stairs and as she looked into his office, she noticed he wasn’t in there. 

She walked in and over to his side of the desk and set the wallet down off to the side behind a small box so it wouldn’t be visible from the other side. 

She was contemplating if she should write a note so he knew where it came from, so she didn’t have to speak to him or if he would just know.

As she grabbed a pen and a piece of paper on his desk, about to write the first word, she heard the door close and looked up. Hotch was standing in front of it. She dropped the pen and stood up straight and stared at him with wide eyes.

“What are you doing in here?”, he asked in his deep, professional, unit chief voice. They both stood still.

“I’m sorry, I was... I was just leaving you a note.”, she said, nervous.

“A note?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I found your wallet at my place. I was just returning it.”, she said, looking away briefly. 

“When did I leave my wallet at your place?”, he asked, walking over to his desk.

“A couple nights ago. It must’ve fallen out.”, she said.

He was standing at the opposite edge of the desk as her, keeping his distance but realizing he’d almost boxed her in. “Fallen out?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I found it in...”, she started. He raised an eyebrow. “I found it in my bed.”, she said, rolling her lips in, looking away.

“Oh...”, he said quietly, crossing his arms and looking down.

“Yeah. Anyways, I was just returning it so...”, she started walking around the side of the desk to leave but he stopped her and turned around.

“Well, I’m glad you’re alive...”, he said.

She turned to look at him. “I’m sorry?”, she said

“You didn’t let me know you got home last night.”, he said.

“Can you blame me?”, she scoffed, starting to raise her voice.

“The least you could’ve done was shoot me a text, saying “ _yeah_ ” But no, I guess that’s too difficult for you.”, he said.

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry! But who was the one that said you’re just my boss now? Huh? Doesn’t seem like something that just a boss would do. You can’t just say the kind of shit to me that you did last night and then text me asking if I got _home safe?!_ What the hell is wrong with you?”, she was practically yelling now. 

“Just because I said those things, doesn’t mean I didn’t need to know you were alright. With our job, seeing all the things that people do out there, what they’re capable of, everything that people fall victim to, I wanted to make sure that you were _o-kay!_ _Yes_ , I’m your boss, and _yes_ , I _did_ have to draw some lines last night, and I’m sorry if that hurt you, I am, but it hurt like _hell_ , not only for me to deal with that decision but even just for the words to come out of my _mouth_! Do you think I _wanted_ to make that decision? It wasn’t just because of what you told me about you and Derek. I just realized that... it was hurting too many people whether they knew it or not. Including us! So, _I_ made the decision to do that. _I_ made the decision to be the bad guy in this so _you_ didn’t have to be! I’m _trying_ to let you go! I was hoping that I was hurting more than you because you _don’t_ deserve that. You don’t deserve _any_ of this! But _ignoring me?! Really?!_ That’s just...”, he trailed off, trying to stop yelling. He didn’t usually talk with his hands a lot but they were going up and all around while he was yelling, clenching his fists, pointing his finger at her.

“That’s just _what?_ ”, she asked, walking closer to him, angered.

“You couldn’t even hand me back my _wallet!_ You had to leave it on my desk when I wasn’t _here?!_ Oh, but at least you were planning on leaving a _note_. That’s more than a text I didn’t get from you last night.”, he said condescendingly.

She laughed, “God! You are such an _ass!_ This is _exactly_ why I didn’t want to confront you! You’re so hot headed and can’t handle anything that doesn’t go your way! You can’t be in control of _everything_ , Aaron! But you wanna be...”, now _she_ was starting to sound condescending. “First, you want me, then you want to be loyal to your wife, then you choose to go after me anyways and get mad whenever somebody else takes interest in me! Whether it’s Derek or some guy I told you about and then you get mad when it’s _only_ Derek! I almost _slept_ _with you_ and you _still_ got upset and jealous over _someone else_ , _even though_ I was right there... right there with _you! Oh!_ And when I try being honest with you, you tell me to get out of your car and break off anything involving us! So _yeah_... I didn’t want to hand you your wallet back. I decided to spare us this _exact_ exchange right here and leave it for you. But I guess, I’m just _that_ stupid to think you’d let it be.”, she said.

“Did you _really_ think I was never going to talk to you again, other than professionally, as your boss?!”, he asked.

“After what you said last night, yeah. And once I thought about it... I was kind of hoping it would be true.”, she said.

“You really don’t know me at all, do you?! I could _never_ make a promise to stay away from you completely. I care _too much_ about you!”, he said.

She felt tears coming on but couldn’t let him see them. “Stop! Just stop! You don’t get to do that!”, she yelled. “I’m so done with this! I’m so done with _you_ and all this crazy _shit_ you’ve brought into my life, alright? Leave me the hell alone, Aaron!”, she couldn’t control her anger anymore and opened his office door, slamming it behind her. 

Everyone was looking up already when she walked out. She barely paid attention to them and kept on straight to go to the bathroom to be alone and calm down. 

After Emily stormed out of his office, Hotch walked over to his desk and looked at a picture frame of him with Haley and Jack. He felt guilty when he looked at the photo. And all of a sudden a wave of anger washed over him from what just happened with Emily. 

His whole body tensed and his blood boiled and he threw the picture frame across the room, hitting the wall. He heard the glass shatter at the impact of it. 

He stood over his desk with his hands on it, breathing hard. So many thoughts started racing through his mind and he picked up his hands and slammed them down, hard on the desk. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so angry. 

While everyone heard this, Gideon was the only one willing to check on him. 

He walked into his office and closed the door behind him. 

“Jason, I need a moment. Please.”, Hotch said sternly.

“Aaron, I’ve known you long enough to know you don’t snap like that. Not unless it’s bad. I mean really bad. So I think you had your moment. Now, you need to pull yourself together, clean that up, and get the hell out there and do your job. We got a case coming in. You’re the unit chief here. You leave whatever just happened in here, in here. But JJ’s setting up to brief everyone right now and we need you level headed.”, Gideon said.

Hotch sighed and said, “Alright.”, standing up straight and buttoning his jacket. He went over to the broken glass and started gathering it. “How much of that did you hear?”, he asked.

“Couldn’t make out any words, so don’t worry about that but... everyone could hear yelling. It was just muffled. And of course the glass. You’re the boss. They won’t ask you questions.”, Gideon said, starting to walk to the door and stopped. “Oh. And... I’d give Prentiss some space for a few days. Really only speak to her when you need to and try and make sure other people are with you when that occurs. It doesn’t seem like things go well in that situation when you’re alone. I know I wasn’t very welcoming to her on the first day but she’s a good agent... I’d hate to see her leave or... for you to take advantage of her abilities by not caring or noticing that enough.”, Gideon said, nodding at Hotch as he walked out and closed the door. 

  
  


Emily was leaning back against one of the sinks in the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. JJ walked in, looking for her. She saw Emily and closed the door behind her, locking it. Emily looked over at her.

“Okay, Emily, what the _hell was that?_ ”, she asked.

“JJ, I appreciate you checking on me. Really, I do, but it was just a disagreement.”, Emily said, calm. She used up all her energy, yelling at Hotch.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, but does yelling for more than 5 minutes straight, slamming doors, and throwing things against the wall, breaking glass, sound like just a disagreement? _Especially_ with your boss!”, JJ said.

“JJ, I’m telling you the truth. We were going over that case recently where I got injured by the unsub. I left a few things out in the report and I guess... he wasn’t too happy about it. One of the higher ups looked it over and it came down on him. He got pretty mad. He tried to talk to me. He started yelling. I yelled back. That’s it.”, Emily explained.

“ _Why_ would it get that far for an issue like that? And _whyyy_ would you yell back at your boss like that?”, JJ asked.

“Honestly JJ, I really don’t know how it got that bad. I really don’t but it did and I’m fine. The issue got resolved.”, Emily said, standing up.

“It didn’t look like it. You _slammed_ his door and it certainly didn’t sound like it did after you walked out. He threw something in his office and glass broke. And he slammed his desk.”, JJ said. 

“You seriously didn’t hear anything we said?”, Emily asked.

“No, just yelling. The words were muffled.”, JJ said.

“Maybe that’s for the best. It wasn’t pretty.”, Emily said as she unlocked the door and started walking out. 

Emily was just glad no one noticed that she went in his office first when he wasn’t there. Otherwise, they would’ve noticed him going in after her and known he hadn’t actually called her in to talk about “the report”. 

  
  


Once she got back to her desk, Derek walked over. “Hey...”, he hesitated.

“Hey.”, she said with a smile. 

“You wanna get lunch together on our break?”, he asked.

“Sounds great.”, she said.

He wanted to ask her if she was okay but thought to let it be and talk to her more about it when they got lunch.

“Where do you wanna go?”, he asked.

“How about that place right up th-“, she started but Hotch walked out of the office and said to everybody, “Case just came in, briefing now in the conference room.” He glared at Emily and Derek.

She looked back at him with a blank stare before he walked into the conference room. 

Derek looked back at Emily wanting to comment on the awkward moment but instead they both got up and walked into the conference room, ready to start the case.

She didn’t even feel nervous walking in because she knew her and Hotch would avoid each other and didn’t have the energy to care. 

She sat as far away from him as possible while Derek sat next to her. 

The only thing she wanted to do was go home and sleep. But she had to pull it together. For her sake and for the victims they had to help in Massachusetts where they were headed for their next case.

Derek leaned over and whispered to Emily, not quiet enough, “Guess we won’t be going for that lunch date, huh?” Hotch heard him say that and looked over and glared at him and Emily again. When she caught his eye, she could tell he heard what Derek said and gave him a look back.

_This was going to be an interesting time in Massachusetts._ She thought.

  
  



	17. The Vending Machine

**Chapter 17**

* * *

They were on the jet, headed to Massachusetts for their next case.

“Alright. JJ and I will go to the station when we land, Spencer and Gideon, you go speak to the victims’ families and any witnesses, Derek go to the crime scene...”, Hotch said.

“I’ll go with you, Derek.”, Emily said, while sitting next to him. 

“Actually, Prentiss, you go with Spencer. Gideon, pair up with JJ and I’ll go with Derek to the crime scene.”, he said, not looking at Emily.

She wanted so badly to tell him he was being petty but just said, “Alright.”

Once they landed, Hotch watched Derek walk right behind Emily getting off the jet. He felt rage coming on and let everyone else go in front of him.

“Morgan, you’re riding with me, we’ll head out to the crime scene. Everybody else, we’ll meet you back at the station later.”, Hotch said.

Derek looked at Emily and said, “I’ll see you back at the station.”, as he started walking over to Hotch.

“Alright.”, she said, giving Hotch a look, saying, I know what you’re doing.

  
  


Spencer walked over to Emily.

“Hey, you ready?”, he asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”, she said.

“I usually don’t do the driving, so...”, he started.

“No problem, I’ll drive.”, she said, taking the key.

“Great.”, he said.

They both got in the car and drove to the victim’s familie’s house.

The whole time they were there, Emily pushed aside her worries about Derek being with Hotch and hoping he wouldn’t do something that was out of line and unfair to Derek.

After speaking with the two missing girls’ parents and interviewing neighbors, they drove to the station and met with the rest of the team. 

Emily was getting anxious, waiting for Derek and Hotch to walk in. When they finally did, they seemed completely normal. It felt weird not being paired up with Derek. They were partners. They always worked together. She knew that Hotch did that on purpose. He must know about them getting together now. She thought.

Once they had nothing left they could do for the night and needed sleep, they all headed back to the hotel. She decided to ride with Derek, just to spite Hotch and he definitely seemed to notice. 

Once they got to the hotel, they were all tired and didn’t even eat dinner. All they’d had were snacks from the vending machine throughout the day. 

Emily went to her room to change into her pajamas.

She changed into a black tank top with no bra and blue pajama shorts. She knew she could wear something that revealed her chest because no one would be able to see it at night. 

She slid into her slippers to go and grab a water bottle and bag of m&m’s from the vending machine down the hall. The peanut ones were her favorite. She was suddenly hungry and couldn’t fall asleep on an empty stomach, even if she had just a small amount in it and she had a real craving for chocolate the past couple days, knowing that time of the month was probably coming soon. Also meaning, serious mood swings.

Once she got there, down the hall, she grabbed her dollar bills and slid one in for the water and it fell out when she pressed the button. She bent down to grab it and hoped her shorts weren’t showing off too much but was pretty sure no one was out of their rooms anyways. 

She pulled out another bill and tried putting it in but the machine wouldn’t take it. She got impatient and hit it, letting out a sound of frustration through her teeth. 

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She heard the machine make a sound, taking a bill. She felt someone’s breath on her neck and she instantly recognized the smell of the cologne. She heard a button being pressed and she immediately opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder. It was Hotch. 

He was backing up a step from reaching over next to her. He stood there looking at her. She turned around to face him and crossed her arms.

“So, do you just make it a habit of sneaking up on people? Or is it just with me?”, she asked, sarcastically.

“No, actually. I uh- tend to save that for when I make arrests.”, he said flat but trying to be funny.

“Well, maybe it should stay that way.”, she said, turning around and bending down to grab the m&m’s. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to her shorts that were riding up and didn’t cover up as much as she’d thought.

When she turned around, she saw him looking and he looked down at his feet when she made eye contact with him. She didn’t know how to react so she just handed the bag to him. 

“No. Those are yours.”, he said, looking back up at her.

“No, I didn’t pay for mine yet.”, she said.

“Yeah, I know. I did. Someone brought me my wallet...”, he said holding it up and putting it in his pajama pants pocket. 

“I can’t let you do that.”, she said.

“Emily, it was a dollar.”, he laughed. “Why won’t you let me just pay for that?”, he asked.

She stepped closer to him and said through her teeth, trying to be quiet but obviously angry, “Because Aaron, I’m mad at you... and I don’t need you doing me any favors. I thought I told you to leave me the hell alone. Why can’t you seem to do that?”, she said.

“Well, for one, we work together. And two, when I happen to come out here at the same time you do and I see that mark I left on you...”, he said, pointing at her chest and sticking both hands back in his pockets. “...it’s kind of hard to ignore you and not say anything.”, he said, moving closer, looking her up and down. 

“Well, maybe you should try a little bit harder.”, she said quietly. 

There was a moment of silence and he sighed before speaking.

“I know what I said to you, Em. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still be on a good page. I can’t handle a friendship but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly and work well together. I just don’t think I can control myself if we started anything up at all, whether it’s going out for drinks platonically, or hanging out and chatting in my office before everyone else gets to work or after. Or even sitting on the jet with each other and chatting about our personal lives. Especially, anything more than platonic. But even just all things that friends do, I want to be able to... but I can’t. All of that is too much for me. If we did, I couldn’t stop myself from... acting on a lot of things... Because even right now... all I want to do is hold you... and kiss you... and make sure you’re alright but I know I can’t. And I feel bad for what happened earlier. It was unprofessional of me to react that way. It won’t happen again. But I hate being mad at you and I hate you being mad at me because I don’t like seeing you upset at all. I just want to be able to know we’re okay. That you’re okay. Maybe at some point, I can get over myself. Because I already miss us hanging out. But for now, I know this is how it has to be. I wish I could’ve said it better last night. I should’ve taken more time to think about what I was going to say and process everything I was feeling but I have now and I’ve mainly taken your feelings into consideration because I care about you. I know I’m rambling but I needed to say all this at once in case you say no or walk away or get mad and decide to still hate me. But... I’m done now.”, he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out, looking down at his shoes. 

“Aaron...”, she started, grabbing his shoulder. His head shot up.

“Emily... I-“, he grabbed the hand on his shoulder and took it off, holding it in his own, straight down by their legs, fingers intertwined.

“I’m sorry, Aaron. I really am. It hurt to say all of that earlier. I don’t know how much of it I meant but regardless, I’m sorry I said it.”, she gave his hand a squeeze. “I wish we could be friends. But I understand... and it’s okay because... I don’t know if I could handle it either. If you tried to hold me or kiss me, like you said... I probably wouldn’t stop you, at least not right away. And that’s a problem for... many reasons. Because... I am seeing Derek now and I am happy. I’m starting to be happy. And I can tell you’re not. And that hurts me, but I think that’s only temporary. I think you’re gonna get through whatever is happening right now and be okay. And... I am always here for you if anything happens or you need something.”, she said.

“I know.”, he said, placing his hand on her face and stroking it. “Thank you. I’m always here for you too. If you’re ever in a crisis or need me for anything, I won’t turn you away. I care about you so much, Em. More than you know.”, he wanted to close his mouth in on hers but resisted the urge. 

She smiled and closed her eyes, leaning her face into his hand and grabbing the arm holding it up and squeezing it. He pulled her in for a hug and they held each other tight, almost like a goodbye.

All of a sudden they heard a door open down the hall and they broke away immediately. Emily saw all the way down, it was Derek.

“Shit. I can’t have him see this on me.”, she whispered to Hotch, putting her hand on her chest. 

Hotch looked at it, remembering that night and how close they got to being together in one of the most intimate ways they could. How badly they both desired it. He felt a wave of sadness wash over as he stared at it. He quickly snapped out of it.

As Derek was halfway down the hall, Hotch walked towards him. “Morgan. What are you doing? Hey, I was wondering if you noticed that...”, Hotch trailed off and almost blocking Derek from walking over to Emily. 

Finally she understood what he was doing. He was helping her stall so she could run in and change her shirt, knowing he was probably going to check on Emily.

Wow. He’d really go out of his way right after saying goodbye to whatever it was they had, to help stall her new boyfriend from finding out about a hickey that he left on her a few nights ago... he really was a good guy after all. She thought. 

While Hotch was talking to Derek in the hall, Emily sneaked off to her room and changed her tank top to a regular t-shirt. She pulled out her phone to text Hotch.

“ _You didn’t have to do that. Thank you_.”, she sent.

“ _I was the one who left it there after all. So I really did. Sleep well, Emily. I’m glad we’re okay. But we probably shouldn’t be texting much anymore unless it’s work related..._ ”, he said.

“ _I know. Sleep well, Aaron_.”, she sent.

Before she could turn her phone off, it dropped to the floor when she heard the knock on the door. She picked it up and walked over.

She looked out and it was Derek, of course. She let him in casually, looking around, making sure no one saw.

Hotch knew about them, which in normal cases, he wouldn’t be okay with it and they would both be fired. But because even though he says he’s just her boss now, deep down, he’s still really not. However, the rest of the team didn’t know and they wanted to keep it that way.

Once the door was closed, he walked over to the bed and turned around. He saw Emily walking up to him and grabbing his waist, pulling him close to her. She reached up to kiss him as he returned it and wrapped his arms around her. 

“How about... you stay the night in here with me?”, she said biting her lip and playing with his shirt. He replied with a kiss and took his shoes off as he walked over to the bed and climbed in under the sheets. She stood still, watching him as he looked back at her.

“Well, are you just gonna stand there or come join me? Come on, princess.”, he said, patting the spot of the bed on her side.

“Hold on.”, she said, grabbing her water and peanut m&m’s, bringing them over to the bed. She got under the sheets with him and opened the bag, pouring some in his hand.

“Mmmm. Thanks babe.”, he said. She blushed. Babe. That was new. She thought. But she liked it.

They ate the rest of the bag and she set it on the night table next to her, turning off the light. They were both too exhausted to do anything else.

She laid down and scooted closer to him. She put her head against his chest that still had a shirt on, which made her a little upset so she backed away so her eyes were looking into his. She reached her hands down and started to pull it up. He raised his arms up and finished taking it off for her and tossed it at the end of the bed. 

He brought his hand to her face and his lips to hers. He then brought his arm to his side as she came closer till her head was on his now bare chest and arms wrapped around his stomach and leg crossed over his body. He flung his arm over her body and kissed the top of her head.

It was silent for a minute before she said, “Mmmmm... I love this, right here.”

“Me too.”, he said and paused. “Hey, l know you probably don’t wanna talk about it but if we’re going to make anything work, we have to communicate with each other. Now, I let a couple other topics go because they seemed to be sensitive things, and I get it, and you can still tell me but I won’t push anymore. But... what was that with Hotch today?”, he asked.

She paused and her eyes opened wide but he couldn’t see that. “What was what?”, she asked.

“Come on, Emily. You know what I’m talking about. Everyone heard you guys yelling at each other. And don’t say it was nothing because we both know that’s not true.”, he said.

“Fine... it had to do with that case we had recently in L.A., where you and I went after the unsub and lost him. Well, I had to fill out the report especially because I got injured by him and I guess I left some details out and it didn’t look so good for the bureau. Apparently, some of the higher ups weren’t happy about it, it came down on Hotch and then down on me. We argued. It escalated. It was stupid. It got resolved. It’s all fine now.”, she lied, hoping he wouldn’t ask too many more questions. 

“Really? Because it seemed like more... personal than that.”, he said. She pulled away from him.

“Derek! I told you what happened. If you don’t want to listen to that or believe that, that’s on you. But don’t try and profile me. I told you everything and I didn’t even have to. I have the right to my own privacy and yes, I’m a private person but that’s how I had to be for a long time. I was trained to be that way, my old jobs, I grew up like that. It’s just who I am. Alright? I’m just that type of person and if you can’t handle that...”, she was starting to escalate and got up to go to the bathroom. 

She stood over the sink and splashed her face with water and washed it, realizing she forgot to do that and brushed her teeth.

Derek got up and came into the bathroom.He walked behind her and grabbed her waist, placing his chin on her shoulder and kissed it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push anything. I was just worried, alright? Let’s just go to bed. You need some rest, it’s been a really long day.”, he said.

She stared at him in the mirror, still with her hands spread on the sink. She stared at him for a while, angry and finally turned around, leaning back against the sink and ran her hands down his chest and abs. 

“Fine.”, she said. She walked out of his arms and he followed her to bed. They both got under the covers and she faced her back to him. He curled up behind her and held her. As he kissed her neck, she moaned quietly and they fell asleep.


	18. Hotel Toiletries

**Chapter 18**

* * *

Derek and Emily were fast asleep in her hotel room, when all of a sudden her phone started ringing, waking them both up. 

With her eyes still closed, she reached over and grabbed her phone to answer it.

“Prentiss.”, she said, sleepy. 

“Hey, we gotta get down to the station. Two bodies that match the missing girls’ identities were just found and another two girls around the same age were just reported missing. How fast can you wake up and get dressed?”, JJ said on the other end of the phone.

“Give me 15.”, Emily said.

“Can you make it 10?”, JJ asked.

She sighed, “Yeah, alright.” She hung up the phone and lifted Derek’s arm off her. 

“You gotta go back to your room and get ready. We have to go down to the station.”, she said.

“But it’s 4:00 am.”, he said.

“Yeah, I know but the missing girls were found and another two just _went_ missing. So go now!”, she said.

“Alright, alright.”, he said, sitting up and throwing his shirt on and getting out of bed.

Emily was grabbing her clothes from her go-bag and Derek walked up to her, grabbing her waist from the side and kissed her cheek. 

“I’ll see you there.”, he said. When he opened the door, he saw JJ and Hotch walking down the hall and heard them talking.

“Do you know where Derek is? He’s not answering his phone and I tried knocking on his door but he didn’t seem to be there. We gotta go in ten minutes.”, JJ said.

Hotch had a pretty good idea of where he was but lied instead. “I don’t know. Try calling him again.”, Hotch said.

Derek stepped back in her room when he saw them getting closer.

“What are you doing?”, Emily asked.

“JJ and Hotch are walking by and they’re wondering where I am. I left my phone in my room and they can’t get a hold of me. I gotta wait till they walk past, to go to my room.”, he said.

“Well, watch out the peephole and take this just in case you run into them in the hallway. Say you were getting some ice.”, she said, handing him an ice bucket.

Once the coast was clear he stepped out quietly as Emily finished getting ready. He ran to his room and got in without anyone noticing. 

Once Emily was done getting dressed and finished doing her mascara, she walked out and almost ran into Hotch.

“Oh, sorry!”, she said.

“Oop. You’re all good. Is Derek back in his room now?”, he asked her.

“Ummm...”, she started. _How did he know Derek was in her room before?_ She wondered.

“Emily, I’m not going to yell at you about it. Just don’t make a habit of it while we’re working. I just want to know if he’s in his room so we can get everyone together to leave.”, he said.

“Yeah, he should be.”, she said.

“Great. Um, since everyone heard us yelling yesterday, they’ve noticed some tension. Now that we’re good... do you want to team up with me today? It’ll get us used to just working together and also not let everyone think something’s going on; that everything is back to normal? I understand if you don’t feel comfortable doing that though.”, he said.

“No, that sounds good, you’re right. I’m all ready to go when you are.”, she told him.

“Great, go ahead and meet everyone downstairs and I’ll be down in a minute.”, he said, walking towards Derek’s room.

“Alright.”, she said, walking in the opposite direction.

  
  


Once they were all gathered downstairs, heading to the parking garage, Hotch gave orders.

“JJ and Derek, go ahead and go to the station, get all the information on the new victims. Spencer and Gideon, I want you to go to the coroners office. Emily, you’re with me, we’ll hit the scene where the latest victims were found.”, he said.

Everyone agreed and split up.

Emily got in the SUV with Hotch and was silent for the first couple minutes of the drive. 

“So what do we know about the area where the latest victims were found?”, she asked.

“Well, we gotta think that it’s the unsub’s comfort zone, seeing as 4 of his previous victims were found in pairs in separate locations all within a five mile radius but we just have to find some connection between the dumping grounds. You know what? Why don’t you call Garcia and have her send us the map of all them on it and the addresses. Maybe we’ll check them all again if we find something at this one.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said, pulling out her phone.

She called Garcia and put her on speaker. “Hello, hey, hi! You’re calling me! I’m so happy, I was beginning to think you forgot about me. I was even about to go-“, Garcia was cut off by Hotch.

“ _Garcia_.”, he said.

“Right, sorry. Hello, sir. What can I do for you, two of my favorite people?”, she asked. 

“We were hoping you could send us the map of all the dumping grounds with coordinates linking them and the addresses to them as well. They’re all within a 5 mile radius of each other, right?”, Emily asked.

“Yes, that is correct... and I’m sending them to you right noowwww... they should be to you in... now! Anything else you guys need?”, she asked.

“I think that’ll do, thank you Garcia.”, Hotch said. 

“You, my fine furry friends, are welcome!”, she said.

Hotch and Emily looked over at each other and laughed as she hung up.

“Hey, I got a question. It’s kind of weird but I feel weird not knowing and maybe saying the wrong thing...”, she said.

“Anything, shoot.”, he told her.

“When we’re alone, is it weird if I still call you “ _Aaron_ ”? I mean, I still call you “ _Hotch_ ” and “ _Sir_ ” in front of the others so I wouldn’t change that obviously. But... should I be calling you “ _Hotch_ ” even when we’re alone, since I treat you like _just_ my boss now? I don’t know, it’s just kind of confusing...”, she said.

“I’m fine with whichever. I’m used to you calling me “ _Aaron_ ” and as long as no one else hears it, it’s fine. But if you feel like it’s best or easier to get things back to normal by calling me “ _Hotch_ ”, then that’s alright too. I understand. I mean, I usually call you “ _Prentiss_ ” around others but that’s just because they don’t think I’ve established a bond or relationship with you yet, like I have with the others. I don’t call JJ by her last name. With Spencer, I’ll call him either one but so does everybody and with Gideon, I call him that with everyone else or in a work setting but when we all hangout outside of work or we’re alone, I call him “ _Jason_ ”. So I can start calling you “ _Emily_ ” more around everyone just like a few minutes ago, if you think it would seem normal or... not strange around them by now.”, he said.

“I think that’ll be fine alone and around others. And it just feels odd calling you “ _Hotch_ ” when we’re alone. So I think I’ll stick with “ _Aaron_ ”.”, she said, smiling at him.

“Sounds good.”, he chuckled.

They drove to the latest crime scene and checked it out. When she pulled the picture of the map up on her phone, he stepped over to her, standing close to look at the phone in front of her.

She could see the shadow of his arm reaching towards her back but stop and come back down to his side. 

_Must’ve been force of habit_. She thought. But her heart was racing and she stopped paying attention to what they were doing. She barely heard the mumbling in the background as she stared at her phone.

“Emily? Are you alright?”, he asked, in a deep serious voice, since they were out in the field, he kept it professional but that voice made her want him. She didn’t know why but she loved his deep voice and how it could change so fast when he laughed really hard.

“What? _What?_ ”, she asked.

“I asked if you were alright. You spaced out.”, he said, still standing close to her, not having backed up at all. He only turned his head to look at her. She knew that if she turned her head in his direction, meeting his eyes, faces being so close, it would be too much for her. 

She was about to step to the side, even though it would make things awkward because she’d basically be telling him to get away from her. But before she could do that, she spotted something on the wooden telephone poll a few yards ahead. She paused again and he stared at her, trying to figure out what was going on, analyzing her.

She started walking over to it, getting her combat boots muddy but she wasn’t even paying attention to that. She pulled out gloves from her navy colored cargo pants and put them on. She stopped in front of the pole as Hotch walked over to it. 

“What do you see, Emily?”, he asked.

“A carving... of what looks to be like a time and date on here...”, she said, running her fingers along it. She bent down and picked up a wire. She looked up at Hotch who was standing over her. She had a shocked, yet curious look on her face and so did he. 

“How much you wanna bet this is the same wire the unsub used to strangle the other victims?”, she said.

“I’ll call Gideon and Reid, ask them to check to see what the weapon was for these two victims.”, he said. “Go ahead and get the crime scene unit over here to get pictures of it and the carvings. Bag that afterwards and we’ll hit the other crime scenes. Hopefully, if those are from the unsub, they’ll still be at the other locations as well.”, he said, walking off the side.

  
  


Later that night, everybody headed back to the hotel. Emily didn’t talk for the whole ride back with Hotch. 

Once they got to the parking garage, she got out of the car and slammed the door. Hotch rushed over to her as she walked to the elevator fast and obviously agitated. He was catching up to her and stopped her.

“Emily.”, he started in a stern voice. “You tried. We all did. But we got the kids back safe.”

“Yeah, but he got away.”, she raised her voice. “And now, he’s going to take two other girls and you know it. I had him. I shot at him. He got hit. But he. Got. Away.”, she said, turning to him.

“That wasn’t on anyone. You did better than we thought we’d all be able to. We’ll get him, okay?”, he said.

She paused and bit her lip, holding in tears as she looked down at her shoes.

“They’re just kids, Aaron. I feel like we’re letting this monster get away with this.”, she said.

He knew he couldn’t give her a hug but figured it wouldn’t be too weird for him to put a hand on her shoulder. He’d done that with Reid and JJ and Derek and Gideon before. He reached over and kept some distance and placed his hand there.

“Emily, this job gets the best of us and that’s okay. You can let it. But you _can’t_ let it stop you from keeping on the right path and to keep going. You have to use that drive you have and apply it to catching this guy.”, he said.

She took a deep breath and looked up at him. “I know, I know... Thank you.”, she said, almost reaching for his hand too but just waited for him to take his away instead. Once he did, they got on the elevator and rode up to their floor. 

Shortly after she got into her room and changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt this time, Derek knocked on her door. 

She went to open it, knowing it was him.

“Hey. I’d invite you in but...”, she began to whisper now, “we probably shouldn’t do anything like that again while on work time.”

“That’s alright. I mainly just wanted to check on you. I could tell you were pretty mad when we left. I needed to make sure you were okay. And if you wanted to talk about it...”, he said.

“Honestly, I just needed a few words of encouragement and reassurance. Hotch was able to make me see that I just have to keep going with this and use that frustration and energy to catch this guy. I was upset about being able to get a shot at him but not being able to stop him. But I think I’m alright now.”, she smiled. “Thank you for checking on me though. I really appreciate it. I think I’m actually gonna take a shower now though. I didn’t take one last night or get to this morning, so I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”, she said, leaning in for a quick kiss.

“Alright, Goodnight princess.”, he smiled and walked back to his room.

“Goodnight.”, she said with a smile, closing the door.

Emily went into the bathroom and turned the shower on, warming it up while she got undressed. She looked in the mirror and down at her chest. She touched the mark Hotch had left on her which was finally fading and was almost gone. 

She thought back to that night. She remembered it clearly. But it all came in flashes in her mind, playing like clips from a movie. 

She wondered, _what would’ve happened if his phone hadn’t rang and interrupted them. If they’d gone all the way. Would things be any different than they are now? Would it be better or worse?_

She quickly snapped out of it before she got too lost in those thoughts and hopped in the shower. She started rinsing off and got her hair wet. She looked over and realized there was no soap or shampoo or anything. She turned off the water and got out. She dried off and threw her hair up in a messy bun once she got dressed in her pajamas again.

She went downstairs to the front and saw Hotch off to the side, grabbing a small cup of lemon water. He turned around and saw her.

“ _Hey_ , what are you doing down here?”, he asked.

“I could ask you the same.”, she chuckled.

“I was going to take a shower and realized there are no towels in my room. You?”, he asked.

“Toiletries.”, she said.

“Ah.”, he replied. “Oh uh, lemon water?”, he asked motioning towards the table with it.

“Sure.”, she said. He poured her a cup and handed it to her. “Thanks.”, she said, taking a sip.

They stood there for a moment before he put his hand out. “Go ahead. It looks like you already _started_ taking your shower. I don’t want to hold you up.”, he said.

“Thank you. It _is_ kind of cold.”, she said, walking up to the front.

She asked them for some toiletries and they went to the back to get some as someone else went to the back to grab Hotch some towels. They both stood there, waiting.

“I’ve never seen your natural hair before. Not what I expected.”, he chuckled.

“Yeah... that’s why I usually try to curl it nicer or straighten it but, what are you gonna do?”, she laughed.

“I think the waves are nice.”, he said, smiling. She looked down, awkwardly. 

“In a totally _not_ weird way. I’m sorry if it came out that way. I didn’t mean it like that.”, he said.

She looked back up, lightly laughing. “You’re fine. _Thank you_. Not many people get to see it. Derek hasn’t even seen it. I guess that makes you kind of special. _Also_ in a _not_ weird way.”, she said, smiling, letting him know not to feel bad for what he said.

He felt happy when she said that, knowing that she hadn’t even let Derek see every natural part of her or shared everything with him. That she hadn’t felt comfortable being herself completely with him but she did with Hotch. He smiled.

“Well, good... Oh, are you feeling any better about earlier?”, he asked.

“Yeah, thanks to you, I feel much more confident about it all. I think that’s all I really needed to hear. Especially coming from you. I know you’ve seen a lot by this point in your career and I trust your judgment on a lot. So... thank you.”, she said.

“Of course but... I’ve seen some of your work history, I know that you dealt with quite a bit back at Interpol and I have to say-“, he said but she cut him off.

“Those towels are taking a really long time for you. You probably don’t want to stand here for that long. Go back to your room and I can bring them up for you.”, she said, turning to go to the front desk.

He stopped her and gently grabbed her shoulder. 

“Emily, did I say something? What just happened?”, he asked.

“Nothing, really. I just don’t think it’s fair that you have to wait down here forever just for some towels.”, she said walking up to the front about to hit the bell on the counter.

He stopped her and pulled her back. 

“ _Emily_. What are you _doing?_ You’re getting obsessive and it seems more like avoidance to me, changing the topic, distracting. _What_ is it? I told you, you can come to me if you need something. I remember one of your first days, something with this came up and you got _really_ upset over it. So, come on, let’s just sit and calm down...”, he tried guiding her over to some chairs but she pushed him away. 

“Oh look. Our stuff is ready.”, she said, walking up to the front, leaving him confused. 

He followed behind her and grabbed his towels as she took her toiletries. They walked to the elevator together in silence. Once they walked by her room, she stopped and opened it.

“Emily.”, he stopped her and she turned. 

“You hold _a lot_ in and eventually you’re going to need to talk about it. If it has to do with something that happened during a time you were working on a case or whatever back then at your old job, I’m probably the one who will understand the most. You can come to me, alright?”, he said.

She smiled low. “Thank you. Goodnight, Aaron.”, she said, turning back and walking inside.

He felt his heart drop and stood there outside her door for a second before walking back to his room.

After her shower, Emily brushed her teeth and got in bed. While she laid down, all she thought about was Hotch and how close she came to telling him about the last task force she was a part of at Interpol right before she came to the BAU. 

She so badly wanted to tell him about Ian Doyle but couldn’t tell _anybody_. It was confidential and even if she could tell him, she didn’t want to admit to what she did to get the profile on Ian. _He would think of her different. He would see her different._ She thought. She knew she couldn’t let that happen so she kept her mouth shut. 

Even though she didn’t tell him what it was, Hotch knew something happened. He knew Emily well enough to realize when she was avoiding a topic and for good reason. He knew when something was going on and all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her that she’s safe now and she doesn’t have to worry about anything anymore but he couldn’t and that’s what hurt him the most.

He hoped that one day, they’d be able to get to a place where they could be friends. But he had no idea when that would be. 

  
  



	19. "You Can Come To Me"

**Chapter 19**

* * *

  
  


“You ready?”, Hotch asked Emily.

“Hell yeah. Let’s go get this son a bitch.”, she said while they were putting their bulletproof vests on.

They followed SWAT up to a house and busted down the door. Emily and Hotch had their guns drawn while everyone was behind them, doing the same.

Emily heard a back door swing open and close. She wasn’t far from it and ran towards it and out. She saw the unsub and yelled, “FBI. Stop!” 

He kept running around his yard and onto the sidewalk down as she chased after him. She finally caught up to him and put her gun back on her holster.

“I said _stop!_ ”, she yelled again.

She grabbed him and tackled him to the ground, she grabbed her handcuffs and put them on, pulling him up. “You’re under arrest.”, she whispered in his ear.

Once everyone ran out, she handed him over to Derek, who brought him over to a cop car and put him in it. Hotch walked over to her. 

“Nice job. I told you we’d get him.”, he said.

She was out of breath from running and tackling the unsub but managed to smile.

“Yeah, well I guess I used that energy and drive I had.”, she said.

“Once again, good work, Emily.”, he said, walking away.

Derek walked over to her. “Damn, princess. Haven’t seen you get like that before.”, he said. “I was almost a little scared when you yelled at him. It was kind of sexy to see you be so badass.”, he whispered. 

She chuckled, “Now you know. You ever screw me over, Derek Morgan, you know what’s comin’.”, she said walking away.

“I’ll make sure to not do that then.”, he said.

  
  


Everybody got on the jet later that night after grabbing the rest of their things from the hotel. They flew back home and Derek went back to Emily’s place to spend the night.

Once they walked in her door, she ran upstairs to go to the bathroom. She looked at her chest and could barely even see the hickey anymore. It didn’t even look like one, she decided she didn’t have to hide it from Derek finally.

She walked out and over to her closet and took off her shirt and pants, standing in just her bra and underwear. 

Derek walked up and took his jacket and shoes off. He looked over to the closet and saw Emily walking out. 

“Oh! You scared me. I didn’t hear you come in.”, she said.

“Sorry, princess. Should I have knocked?”, he said.

“Nope.”, she said smiling, walking over to him and pulling his shirt off. “I’m feeling like I need a shower... care to join me?”, she bit her lip and started undoing his pants.

He smiled but didn’t speak. 

Her body pressed against his and she looked down briefly and backed up at him.

“I’ll take that as a ‘ _yes_ ’.”, she said. 

She turned around and walked into the bathroom, letting him watch her as she unhooked her bra, falling to the ground. 

He instantly took his pants off and ran into the bathroom after her, closing the door.

  
  


Once they were in bed, he was only wearing boxers and she only wore a baggy t-shirt with nothing under it.

He fell asleep but she couldn’t and decided to wake him up. 

She curled up next to him and whispered his name a couple times but he still didn’t wake up. He was laying on his back and she started rubbing his chest and kissing his neck. She stopped after a minute to see if he woke up but he was still fast asleep. 

She decided to just shake him a bit harder and say his name louder. 

Finally, he grumbled and turned to his side, slowly opening his eyes to find her smiling at him. 

“Emily? What’s goin’ on?”, he asked.

“I can’t sleep.”, she said.

“You want me to make you some tea or something?”, he asked, still tired.

“Mmmm... I was thinking of something else.”, she said.

She turned him onto his back and sat on top of him, hips lined up with each other’s.

“You really wanna go for round 2?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she said, running her hands all the way up his body till she reached his face and pulled it to hers, kissing him deep.

“Ah Emily, I don’t know if I can, I’m still so exhausted. I’m barely awake.”, he said.

She quieted him and kissed him again. This time, with tongue and started grinding on him. 

After a couple minutes of him just returning the kiss, he brought his hands down to where her shirt rose up from.

With his hands on her ass, he started grabbing it and pulling her up and letting her slide back down, still grinding on him. He helped guide while she did so.

She said through kisses, “Seems like you _can_.”, she said. 

He chuckled and all of a sudden, he flipped her over, lying on top of her and she pulled down his boxers.

He immediately went for it, making her gasp and covered it up with his mouth. 

He stopped.

“Why is this still on?”, he asked, lifting her shirt off until they were bare against each other and continued with what they were enjoying before. 

An hour later, she was on top of him, and collapsed as she’d reached her point at the same time he did, while they both let out sounds of pleasure. He held her tight against his body and kissed her neck, all the way down to her collarbone and shoulder. 

He lifted her head, “How is it possible to be this gorgeous?”, he said, still out of breath.

She let out a breathy half laugh and went back down to kiss him, trying to catch her breath as well. 

“There’s something quite special about you, Emily Prentiss.”, he said.

She got off of him and laid down curling up next to him, both facing each other. She pulled sheets up over them as she brought her arm around him and pulled herself closer, foreheads almost touching. He brushed her hair out of her face and kept it there, staring deep into her eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re mine. I got the whole package in you. Beauty, intelligence, kind hearted, amazing in bed.”, he said as they both laughed. “Not to mention... incredibly strong and brave. Seeing you with the team and with me, how loyal you are... what did I do to deserve you?”, he said.

She smiled, her eyes looking down. Suddenly she felt guilty. She didn’t feel like she’d been completely loyal to him at the beginning, almost sleeping with Hotch. And she was still lying to him about that and everything else they’d done and the fact that although they weren’t talking like that now, she knew her and Hotch both still had feelings for each other. 

She tried to shut it all out and be in the moment with Derek because that’s who she was with now, was _Derek_. And she really liked _Derek_. She wanted things to go further with him. She liked what they had, she had to get over Hotch but wasn’t sure if avoiding it was the best way to do it. _How else was she supposed to though?_ She wondered. 

She didn’t know how to respond to him, so she just said, “You too.”, and gave him a kiss before rolling over onto her other side and grabbing his hand, pulling it over her body. 

He gave her cheek a kiss from behind and said, “Goodnight, princess.”

“Mmmm. Goodnight, Derek.”, she said back.

While her eyes were still open, Derek fell fast asleep. She didn’t know why she was still awake.

She started thinking about the previous night, when she ran into Hotch downstairs at the hotel. She thought of how she almost told him about Ian. About how badly she wanted to but couldn’t. 

Then she started thinking _about_ Ian. She thought about how the last man she was with just like she was with Derek right now... was Ian. 

She felt disgusted. She found herself having those memories coming back in flashes and felt an anxiety attack coming on. 

She started shaking a little bit and reached over for Derek’s shirt on the ground and put it on. She walked into the bathroom without turning on the lights, in fear of waking him up for a second time. 

She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of Xanax she had. She poured one out and put the bottle back. She held the pill in her hand and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. She tiptoed over to the bedroom door and quietly closed it on her way out, walking downstairs. 

She got down to the kitchen and poured a glass of water while putting a pot on the stove to make some tea. She swallowed the pill and waited for it to take effect but her anxiety only got worse. 

Once the tea was ready, she poured some in a mug and sat down on a stool at the island. She waited long enough and the Xanax wasn’t helping. 

Suddenly she remembered what Hotch had told the previous night:

“ _You hold a lot in and eventually you’re going to need to talk about it. If it has to do with something that happened during a time you were working on a case or whatever back then at your old job, I’m probably the one who will understand the most. You can come to me, alright?”_

She debated about calling him or not. Even if she should just send him a text. 

_It’s 2:00 am, he probably won’t want to talk. He did that one time they stayed on the phone for hours. But they’re not even friends anymore, would it even be okay? He said to come to him though._

She picked up her phone and opened the texts between them. She hesitated but eventually sent him a text, hands shaking, partially from the anxiety, partially because she was just nervous if he would respond or what he might say.

She just stared at what she wrote to him.

“ _Are you awake?"_ , she sent him.

She waited to see if he was typing but after 2 minutes, she decided to just leave it. She set her phone, face down on the island and put her elbows up on it and her face in her hands, running her fingers through her hair. 

All of a sudden, her phone rang. Her head went up slowly and turned the phone over. It was from Hotch. Her heart skipped a beat and she answered it. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, I know it’s late. I didn’t expect you to call.”, she said.

“Emily, you texted me at 2 am. Of course I’m going to call you. I wouldn’t just text back. Something’s obviously going on. What is it?”, he said.

That made her heart warm. The fact that he cared enough to call her at that time or even pick up the phone for her at all then. She instantly felt vulnerable and couldn’t control her emotions anymore. For some reason, Hotch brought that side out in her and all of a sudden, she felt tears coming out and her getting choked up and a lump in her throat.

“Emily? Are you still there?”, he asked.

She gulped and breathed in deep, holding her breath.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just-“, she couldn’t finish her sentence and suddenly noticed how wobbly her voice was. She knew he’d be able to tell she was crying if she continued.

His voice got quieter and slower, more personal. “Em... what’s wrong?”, he asked.

That made the tears build up more. He hadn’t been calling her that the past couple days since they switched to him just being her boss and cutting off everything else. Finally, she felt two streaming down her cheeks but barely let out a sound. 

“Why are you crying? What’s happening?”, he asked, sounding more worried but not too much, more serious than anything else.

She couldn’t help but sniffle. “I tried. I tried to not call you. But nothing else worked and... you said to come to you... and I just...”, she trailed off, feeling tears about to come bursting out.

She wished he was there with her right then and that he could hug her and she could be in his arms. That she could cry to him and not over the phone, so he could wipe the tears off her face. 

“Emily, what are you talking about? _What is going on?"_ , he asked her.

All bets were off now, she couldn’t hold it in. She let it all out without being too loud, not wanting to wake Derek up, who she for some reason decided not to talk to about this.

Through tears and catching her breath and crying sounds that were unexplainable and not describable, she managed to get some words out.

“Aaron, I didn’t know who else to talk to. I can’t talk to Derek. He wouldn’t get it. And even though you’re the _last_ person I wanted to call, you’re also the _only_ person to call... and the _only_ person I wanted to call. I know that contradicts itself but it’s true and I can’t explain it.”, she cried.

“It’s okay. I told you to come to me. Just... please tell me what’s going on, Emily.”, he said hushed. She was crying even harder now, not even opening her eyes.

“I’ve been holding in this thing for a long time but it wasn’t _that_ long ago and it still feels so fresh. I feel like a horrible person, I’ve done horrible things and I can’t tell anybody about it. Not even by choice, I’m just not allowed to talk about it and I don’t know what to do.”, she was sobbing at every word. 

She took a moment to let more out without covering it up with words and he didn’t interrupt. She took a deep breath and was still crying but it was mainly sniffling and wobbly words. “And I’ve been having these anxiety attacks I haven’t had for a while and they’re just getting more and more frequent and I got a prescription a while ago but it’s just not working anymore and I have no one to talk to about it. You’re the only one who I thought might understand at least some part of this or... at least me...”, she trailed off.

“Emily...”, he sighed. “You’re _not_ a horrible person. I don’t know _what you did_ but you’re not a horrible person... Does this have to do with when you worked at Interpol? Is there anyone there you were close with that you can talk to?”, he asked.

“Aaron... you don’t know what I did... Even if I could tell you... I wouldn’t want you to know. I couldn’t have you knowing the person I was then. It wasn’t me. I don’t even know if I regret it though. The only people who were involved with this weren’t as much as I was and I can’t really go into more detail than that but...”, she felt tears coming on again and a few came out, he could hear it. “I just needed to talk to you and tell someone _that_ even and I think you’re the only one who I would trust enough or feel close enough to, to say that to. I just needed to hear your voice and I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t say this but... I really wish you were here right now...”, she whispered at the end.

He paused and sighed. “Em... I know. I’m in the same boat... I wish I could give you a hug right now... If I could be there with you right now, I would...”, he said. “What can I do for you?”, he said softly.

She sniffled, “I don’t know... I don’t know what I expected to get out of calling you. It was just an instinct.”, she said.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you till you fall asleep? You must be exhausted. You _sound_ exhausted.”, he said.

“Yes... but I had to call you downstairs...”, she said, trying to let him know that someone else was in her bed without actually saying it.

“Oh... Derek’s there?”, he asked, quietly, sounding disappointed.

“Yeah...”, she sighed. “But... I’m in the kitchen. I made some tea, tried to calm down but ended up calling you. He’s asleep upstairs so... I’m just talking to _you_.”, she said, trying to reassure him and make him feel better, that they were alone in a way. 

“I should probably let you go then...”, he said.

“No, no! Please. Just stay on a little longer. I’m sorry that was brought up but I just want you here for a little longer. If that’s alright...”, she said.

“Of course it is. I’ll stay on as long as you want.”, he told her.

She smiled, finally having stopped crying. “Thank you... I’ll try and not make it a habit of doing this. Just tonight really-“, she started but he cut her off.

“Em, I’m here when you need me. Don’t apologize.”, he said.

“I hope you know that applies for you too, Aaron.”, she said.

“I do. Don’t worry, you’ll be the first one I come to if I need to.”, he chuckled. 

“Good.”, she laughed. They both smiled and talked for another half hour before she decided to go to sleep. 

After they hung up, she’d already finished her tea and went back upstairs.

She walked inside her room and Derek sat up. “So. Who was that?”, he asked.

“What?”, she said.

“Who _was that_ on the phone with you?”, he asked, almost accusatory.

“Oh, um, that was just an old contact from Interpol. They needed advice on a case we worked on before that’s connected to something else. I can’t really talk about it.”, she said, getting into bed.

“At 3:00 in the morning?”, he asked.

“Time difference.”, she told him. “Go back to sleep. I’ve woken you up twice now.”

“Hey, I was completely alright with the first time.”, he said, grinning and leaning over to give her a kiss. He started feeling her body and she stopped him.

“Alright, mister. We need sleep. Not more of this.”, she raised an eyebrow and gave him one last kiss before laying her head back down.

“Alright, fine. Goodnight.”, he said, laying on his back and once again, falling asleep immediately. 

She was surprised at how fast she grew tired as well. _Maybe it was because she felt more at peace after talking to Hotch._ She thought. 

But she also knew that was a problem, seeing as how _Derek_ was her boyfriend and not only had they talked before they went bed but they even had sex _twice_ before they went to bed and she still didn’t feel good enough to sleep. Not until she spoke to Hotch which instantly made her feel better. She knew it was wrong but she couldn’t wait to see him the next day at work. 

  
  



	20. "I Miss You"

**Chapter 20**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  


Emily woke up the next morning next to Derek when the alarm went off. She turned it off and rolled over to face him.

He groaned, tired, trying to wake up. 

“Good morning babe.”, he grumbled, stretching his arms out. He rolled back over to her and got on top of her. As he pressed against her body, she woke up more. She slid her hands up his arms to his face and giggled.

“Oh well good morning to you too.”, she said as he leaned in to kiss her. “Mmmm, think you can help me with this shirt?”, she asked.

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I can definitely help you with that.”, he told her, taking it off.

He kissed her deep and rubbed against her in all the right places, making her moan. 

“What are you waiting for?”, she asked him. “You don’t feel like you need any more time. Come on, babe, just-“, she caught her breath as he slid in before she could finish her sentence. 

He groaned. “I was just trying to make you feel good, princess but seeing as you’re ready...”, he smirked.

“ _Very_.”, she struggled to say.

He leaned down and kissed her as he started moving slowly in and out of her.

He gradually picked up the pace as his hand slid down her side to her leg, holding it. He felt the feeling growing more intense as he went faster and she began to moan. 

He broke away from the kiss and sat up on his knees, lifting up her hips, pulling her closer to him. As her legs spread more, allowing him more access, she brought them around to the back of his, latching on.

As he grabbed her, he went harder and faster, slamming into her. She gasped when he started it and started panting as he kept going. 

After a while, he lowered them both back down and grabbed her hands. He intertwined their fingers and put them on each side of her head.

He stared deep in her eyes as he continued to move smoothly inside of her and eventually took his hands away from hers. As his hands moved to her breasts, he grabbed one and sucked on the other.

She whimpered as his tongue moved around and nipped at her skin, sending her nerves into shock. She bit down hard on her lip as he continued, moving to the next one. Her hand reached for his shoulder and grabbed on.

She couldn’t believe how much he could multitask and how good he was at it.

He lifted his head up and she pulled his face to hers. When their lips met, they opened theirs at the same time as their tongues danced around with each other. 

He started pumping in and out of her faster again and she stopped kissing, opening her mouth wide, making loud sounds of pleasure.

It drove him crazy when her voice got like that and seeing her make the face that matched it. He knew he was close but wanted her to go with him. He brought his hand down and started rubbing her where he knew it would hit the most. 

She got louder and she grabbed his shoulders under his arms almost to pull him closer but mainly to hold on. She couldn’t believe how fast he was going and how fast he was moving his fingers at the same time. She felt her climax coming and dug her nails into his back. 

Trying to form a full sentence, she said between pants, “Derek, I’m gonna...”, she couldn’t finish what she was saying.

He started groaning and panting as he was almost there.

“Come on, babe, come.”, he said.

“Oh my god!”, she moaned loudly.

Hearing her say that made him go even faster. He could feel her tightening around him until she finally reached her climax.

She was screaming, “Ahhh... Derek, yes! Mmmm... fuck!”, she threw her head back, grabbing onto him harder as she let out her release. Her chest heaving against him as she was panting in a high voice.

He removed his hand from her clit and put both on her sides bucking his hips into her faster and harder. 

He finally felt it and let it come as he called out her name, “Fuck! Ah fuck, Emily!”, he collapsed on top of her. He grabbed her legs up as she wrapped them around him and rode out his high. His face crashed against her neck, sucking on it gently enough to not leave any marks. He was breathing heavy against it and stopped moving inside her. 

He brought a hand to her face and looked in her eyes. She was still breathing hard and she pulled his face into hers more till their lips met and they inhaled deep before breaking apart. They looked at each other deep and he eventually caught his breath. 

“You drive me crazy, princess.”, he said.

“Yeah, well, it’s not just you, babe.”, she said, bringing her lips to his again.

“Mmmmm.”, he said smiling and then pulling away from her lips. 

“I don’t wanna leave this bed.”, she pouted.

“Neither do I but we have to. Let’s take a shower. You could really use one.”, he teased.

She gasped, “Says the sweaty one!”

“I’m not the only one!”, he laughed.

“Fine. Let’s _both_ take a shower then.”, she said.

“Sounds good to me.”, he smiled, finally pulling out of her and getting out of bed, going for the bathroom as she followed behind.

  
  


Once they got dressed, she put in her earrings and saw him come up from behind her in the mirror. He held the sides of her waist and stared at her in the mirror.

“I like waking up with you.”, he said.

She finished putting in her other earring and turned around, wrapping her arms around his torso and smiled as they leaned in at the same time for a kiss.

As she pulled away, she brought her hands to his arms and rubbed them quickly and stepped to the side, walking downstairs.

Derek walked after her down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

“Orange juice?”, she asked.

“Sure. Think we should just pick up a quick breakfast at a coffee place or something? Guess we don’t really have time to make something here.”, he chuckled.

“Guess we don’t. Sure that sounds good. So are we gonna carpool then?”, she asked.

“I was assuming so unless you don’t want me coming back tonight...?”, he said.

“Of course I do. I love having you here. Why don’t we go on that fancy date tonight that you’ve been talking so much about?”, she said.

“Really?! Alright, it’s a date. Finally. That is, as long as we don’t have a case.”, he said. 

“Sounds good.”, she said, leaning over to kiss him. 

“We should probably go.”, he said.

“Yep. Let me grab my things.”, she said. 

They walked out the door and drove to work.

  
  


Back at the BAU, they walked in together, coffee in both their hands. They walked over to their desks and sat down.

Hotch walked by and went over to Emily’s desk. “Good morning, Emily.”, he said professionally when he walked up, stopping next to her with his hands in his pockets. 

“Oh, morning Hotch.”, she said with a smile on her face, swiveling around in her chair to face him.

He got quieter but not too quiet. Just enough where he thought no one would be able to overhear them too much.

“So, you feeling any better?”, he asked.

“Yeah. I really am.”, she said. She dropped her voice quieter and more sincere, “Thank you, I’m sorry I bothered you last ni-“, she started.

“Emily, really. I told you to come to me if you needed. It sounded like you did. I’m _glad_ you did.”, he told her.

“But I probably woke you up and-“, she started again.

“ _Emily_... I keep my phone on in case someone needs to get a hold of me. I don’t care if you wake me up at 10pm or 3am or whatever time. I’m just glad you called me last night, regardless of the time.”, he said.

“Well, thank you. I didn’t know who else to go to. I won’t try and make a habit of it.”, she said.

“Don’t worry about it. Just let me know if you need anything else throughout the day. Call me tonight to check in?”, he said.

“I uh... we probably shouldn’t...”, she said, looking down.

“Yeah, um- you’re probably right...”, he said shaking his head.

“I just think we need to stick to what we said the other night.”, she said.

“No, no. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know... I’ll let you get back to work.”, he said, looking disappointed and walking away. 

She would have stopped him but couldn’t with everyone around. Maybe it was best she didn’t, she had to learn to let him go at times. 

She sighed heavy after he walked away and she walked over to Derek. 

“Hey.”, she said.

He didn’t look up. “Hey.”, he replied, short, flat tone.

She was leaning against his desk and looked down to the side to try and catch his eyes.

“Derek...”, she laughed, “What’s going on?” 

He looked up at her and dropped his pen. “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell _me_?”, he asked in an accusing tone.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”, she said.

“What happened last night?”, he asked.

She got closer to him and whispered, “Well... we had a lot of sex if that’s what you mean.,” , she giggled.

“No, Emily. That is not what I mean.”, he said.

“Okay... then what _do_ you mean?”, she asked.

“Wanna tell me why you called Hotch last night? _And lied about it_ to me. You told me someone from Interpol was calling you. Why were you calling our boss in the middle of the night and why did you lie to me about it?”, he repeated, irritated.

She was speechless. She had nothing to say. She couldn’t think of any excuses and she hated lying to him anyways. But she knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. 

After a long pause and her looking at him with her mouth open trying to speak, she closed it and looked to the side.

“ _Well?_ ”, he asked.

“Derek, I really don’t know what to say...”, she said.

“I’m just confused Emily...”, he said.

She rolled her lips in and said, “Alright, listen, I can’t talk about all of it. Not because I don’t want to but because I literally can’t. Hotch found out about something when I first started here by accident and he’s the only one who knows. I really can’t say more than that.”, she admitted, which was partially true.

“Why were you on the phone with him at 2:00am or 3:00am or whatever time it was?”, he asked.

“Something came up and I needed to contact him about it. But really, Derek, I can’t say much more than that. I’m sorry.”, she said, touching his hand.

He looked at her for a moment and she had an apologetic look on her face. He felt guilty and accepted it by squeezing her hand back. 

“Yeah, alright. I just wish you could tell me.”, he said. “I _am_ your boyfriend after all.”, he whispered.

“I know. I wish I could too but I don’t think you’d want to know anyways.”, she told him. 

“I wanna know everything about you, Emily Prentiss. Everything I can. But I’ll respect your privacy because I care about you.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said, getting up and squeezing his shoulder as she walked back to her desk. She looked back up at Hotch’s office, feeling bad. She was hoping he’d look over but he was hard at work. She looked down and continued with what she was doing. 

  
  


Once they finished up work by the end of the day, Derek and Emily were getting ready to leave. Everyone else had already headed out except Hotch.

“I’ll be back in just a minute.”, she told Derek. She walked up the stairs and knocked on Hotch’s door and walked in, closing it behind her. “Hey...”, she said.

“Emily... um... what are you doing in here?”, he asked, looking out where Derek was.

“Don’t worry about him. It’s fine.”, she waved her hand at Hotch. She stood behind the chairs at his desk, leaning on them. “I’m sorry about earlier. As much as I want to call you later, I know it’s not a good idea... you know to make it a normal thing...”, she said.

“I know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. But I realize that might not be a good idea unless you _need_ to.”, he said looking down.

“Aaron...”, she said, also looking down. “I miss you...”

He looked up at her, caught off guard, surprised, yet, with sad eyes. “I know... I miss you too, Em.”, he said quietly.

“How are we going to continue this? It’s so hard not coming to you everyday and talking to you regularly.”, she said.

“I don’t know but we have to. You’re with him now.”, he said looking out the window and noticed Derek was staring straight at him. Hotch looked away fast.

“ _And_... I’m still married. Nothing’s changed except, you’ve moved on...”, he said.

She looked up. “You think I’ve moved on from you?”, she asked, sounding hurt that he would think that.

“You’re sleeping with another man. You’re in a relationship with him... so... yeah.”, he said.

“Aaron, I think about you everyday. I can’t get you out of my mind. I’m _trying_ to move on but I haven’t. Because I’m not over you. I don’t know _how_ to get over you. I feel so horrible for doing that to Derek... because he makes me happy and I make _him so_ happy but...”, she trailed off.

“But _what_ , Emily?”, he asked.

She looked deep in his eyes and he swore he could see them watering up and her lip quivering. “... But he’s not _you_ ... and I feel like a horrible person for saying that _and_ for feeling it but it’s true. At the end of the day, I’m with him but it’s _you_ I’m thinking about...”, she said. He stared at her speechless. There was a long moment of silence till she realized how much she regretted what she had just said. “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry. That’s unfair of me to say to you... I should just go...”, she said, standing up straight and looking up, shaking her head to bring the tears back instead of letting them come out. 

Hotch so badly wanted to get up and stop her but knew he couldn’t for many reasons but one big one being, Derek was watching them.

“You ready to go?”, Derek asked as Emily came back down to him.

She smiled big, trying to hide what she was really feeling. 

“Let’s do it. Oh, we have to stop at your place first to grab whatever you’re going to wear and also um...”, she trailed off, smiling as they walked out the doors and into the elevator. “...maybe a change of clothes for the morning? That is, if you’re going to spend the night still...”, she said, eyeing him to see if he was still mad with her.

He looked at her with a grin, showing his pearly whites. He grabbed her chin and and placed his lips on hers. When he pulled back, they were both smiling.

“Does that answer your question, princess?”, he asked.

“Yes, yes it does.”, she bit her lip.

“Good. I already have a reservation for that Italian place you love so we better get ready fast.”, he said.

  
  


Once they got to Derek’s house, they went up to his room to grab his things for the night and get dressed. He picked out a suit but with no tie since it wasn’t too fancy where they were going.

Before he got changed, he went over to Emily who was sitting on his bed.

He wasn’t wearing anything but his boxers. He leaned over and kissed her. 

“Mmm. Wait, you have to keep getting ready. We still have to stop at my place and we don’t want to be late for the reservation. Isn’t it at 8:00? It’s almost 7:15.”, she said.

He kissed her again. “I may have made it for 9:00, knowing we might need a little extra time.”, he smirked.

“Ohhh. Well in that case...”, she said as she pulled him down, on top of her.

“Maybe just a quickie...”, she smiled as she grabbed his neck, pulling him into her more. 

He was already unbuttoning her pants and pulling them down as she kicked off her shoes. Her pants followed as he slid off her underwear and his boxers at the same time.

She kept her shirt and jacket on though, knowing that would take too long. 

He brought his fingers down and felt how wet she already was.

He slid a finger in before adding a second, making her moan. While he pleasured her, he kissed her neck and right as he felt her start to tighten around him and take in a deep breath, he pulled his fingers out.

“What are you doing?”, she asked, whining.

“I want to feel you tighten around _me_ , not my fingers.”, he grinned.

“Well hurry up!”, she demanded.He stopped and stared at her. “Derek! Stop teasing me!”, she whined some more. Right as she said that, he pushed into her hard causing her to gasp, just like earlier that morning. “Ahh you just _love_ doing that to me, don’t you?”, she said.

“I love doing _a lot of things_ to you, babe. Including this...”, he said as he started moving in and out of her and brought his hand down again, rubbing her clit.

She whimpered and brought her hands to his face and crashed her lips onto his, knowing he’s good at multitasking. 

She was already so close but she knew she had to get him there with her.

She knew how much he loved it when she encouraged him.

She brought her mouth to his ear and whispered through pants, trying to hold on, “Come on baby, fuck me.” 

He started going faster once she said that and moaning. He was breathing heavy and moaning more when she whispered again whimpering, “Yes baby, right there, oh god, oh god! Fuck! Derek! Right there!”, she wanted to scream, she was so close. 

He started pumping faster and faster, moaning louder and as he went. “Fuck! Ahhh! Shit, you feel so good, Emily, fuck!”, he was almost screaming. “Ahhh I’m gonna come. Fuck, I’m gonna come.”, he grunted, throwing his head back. He’d stopped rubbing her a minute ago and she started doing it herself to control when she let herself finish.

“Derek! Oh my god!”, she shrieked.

“I’m gonna come, fuck me harder! Come on. Fuck me harder.”, she said. She felt it coming and couldn’t hold it in any longer. She let out a scream. Once he felt her flutter around him, he let go as well.

“Ahhhh fuck! Ah holy shit. Oh my fucking godddd!”, he growled. He grabbed her sides and pulled her closer, burying himself deep inside of her as he came. 

She moaned as she continued to ride out her high. 

“Oh baby, you’re so sweet. Oh, sometimes I don’t know how I can handle it. It’s so overwhelming. But in a good way.”, he said, staring down at her.

She smiled and bit her lip, “I’m speechless when I’m with you.”, she said.

“It didn’t sound like it a minute ago.”, he chuckled.

She laughed, “You make me feel _a lot_ of things, many I can’t control.” He smiled and kissed her before he pulled out of her. 

They were both breathing heavy. 

He ran his hands down her legs as he stood up on the ground, starting to get dressed.

“You know, it drives me crazy when you talk to me like that.”, he said.

“Oh, _I know_.”, she giggled. “I was so close so fast, I needed you there with me.”, she said.

“Well you had me.”, he said.

“Apparently.”, she smiled.

Once he got his pants on, he picked up hers and handed them to her. He grabbed her face and kissed her deep. 

Once they both got dressed they headed out to go to her place for her to get ready. When she got changed in a tight, red dress at her place, they headed out and drove to the restaurant.

After they got back, they were exhausted. It had been a long day. They woke up, engaged in exhausting activities, worked a lot, they’d argued, they’d done some more exhausting activities, and gone out for dinner.

Now, they were changing out of their fancy date clothes and before they could change into their pajamas, they decided they didn’t need any.

  
  



	21. Confessions

**Chapter 21**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  


The next morning, Derek and Emily both awoke from the alarm on his phone going off.

“Good morninnnggg.”, Derek said in Emily’s ear after turning it off. She grunted, eyes still closed, tired. 

She rolled over and wrapped herself around him on their sides and hugged him. She rested her head on his bare chest and he brought his hand down to her bare ass.

“Uh uh. I’m way too tired for that. After _all_ we did yesterday, I need a lot of caffeine to keep me awake.”, she said.

He sighed and slid his hand back up and brought it to her face, making her eyes open and smile. 

“You realize how cute you are when you wake up?”, he said.

“So I’ve been told.”, she giggled.

“I hope you’re talking about me. I don’t like the thought of somebody else calling you cute. You’re _my_ girl.”, he said, smiling big, giving her a kiss.

Suddenly she felt guilty. The last guy who called her cute when she woke up, was Hotch. He’d heard her over the phone after waking up before and told her how cute it was and she missed that. And Derek calling her _his_ girl, made her feel even worse, knowing that he _had_ shared her recently without even knowing it. 

Instead of replying, she gave him a kiss again and got out of bed fast, grabbing a large shirt from the ground and pulling it on. 

“I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll be out soon. Go ahead and start some breakfast.”, she said. 

He looked confused as she quickly left him in bed. “Did I say something wrong?”, he asked her.

She just reached the door to the bathroom and turned around to walk back to him. She leaned over the bed and kissed him quick. 

“No, of course not. I’m sorry. I just got a jolt of energy and really wanna get ready so we can leave early if that’s alright.”, she said looking at him, hoping he wasn’t too hurt.

“Yeah... Yeah, alright. I just hope you know how much you mean to me. I want to be able to call you _my_ girl. You really do mean a lot to me, Emily.”, he told her, holding her face and looking in her eyes. “You make me _so happy_. I feel better when I’m with you and I can’t believe how lucky I got with you.”, he said.

She stared into his eyes and smiled. 

“I know, babe. Me too.”, she said, giving him one last kiss and heading to the bathroom. 

While she was in the shower, she began to think about how Derek really _did_ make her feel happy _too_. 

Eventually her mind wandered to Hotch and how he made her feel more than just happy. She didn’t know if it was good or bad. She knew there was not one word to use to explain it though. 

But she knew she missed him and that he missed her too. But she regretted letting him know that the night before. She kept wondering if she hadn’t brought it up or heard his response to part of it, maybe she wouldn’t be thinking about him so much. But she also wondered what his response would have been to the last part she said if she hadn’t walked out of his office after she said what she said.

She knew she had to stop thinking about him and decided a distraction might be a good idea. 

She turned the shower off and got out, grabbing a towel. She opened the door.

“Hey babe, I need help with something.”, she called out to Derek.

“Hold on.”, he said as he walked upstairs and opened the bathroom, closing the door behind him once he saw her drop her towel.

“Oh.”, he said, staring at her. “What can I do for you?”, he asked, smirking.

“Actually...”, she started as she walked towards him, “I was wondering what I could do for _you_.”, she said, putting her hands on his chest. She ran them down as she got down on her knees and slid his boxers down.

“I think you have a pretty good idea, princess.”, he chuckled.

She grabbed him in her hand and looked up at him, biting her lip, smiling. She stroked him twice before putting her mouth on his head and slid the rest of him in. 

While she continued, he groaned and grabbed a fistful of her hair and helped her go at the pace he needed. 

After a few minutes, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer and needed to make her feel good too.

“That feels so good babe... but I need _you_.”, he pulled her mouth off of him and brought her up to his level. 

He grabbed her and kissed her as he pushed her up against the wall. Her hands were on his face as their tongues danced around with each other.

He grabbed under her legs and lifted her up, still pressed against the wall and lowered her down just enough for her to sink down on him. Once he felt himself inside her, he moaned as she whimpered against his lips.

He held her steady as he started out slow, bending his knees to be able to slide in and out of her at an easy pace.

He pressed his lips against her collarbone, working his way down to her breast until one was in his mouth. While he sucked on it and played around with the other, she moaned softly.

Her hands were on the back of his neck and she eventually brought him up to her lips pressing them against his. 

He was still moving slow and she knew they were short on time and the last thing she needed was Hotch getting angry for her and Derek _both_ being late. Especially when she knew what he would suspect the reason was.

Derek supported her by holding her thighs and she wrapped her legs around him. He started picking up the speed and made her pant. He pushed up into her harder and harder each time. 

“Derek... oh... god you’re so good oh my god!”, she whimpered at the end.

“Ahh babe... you like it when I fuck you up against the wall, huh? Yeah?”, he grunted. She couldn’t even answer, she was trying to save her breath.

She brought one hand from his shoulder down to her clit and started moving her fingers around in a circle. She started moving her hips with his in reaction to it. 

She was surprised at how fast she had gotten there but before she could even let him know, she was riding out her orgasm.

“Oh my goddd!”, she screamed. 

“Already?”, he asked.

She grabbed onto his back tight and started moving with his rhythm to ride out the rest of her high and to help him along.

“I can’t help it, I’m sorry.”, she said. She knew she could go again especially since he wasn’t done yet. He was still going at the same pace as before.

She went for a kiss but he pulled out of her and dropped her feet to the floor. 

He grabbed her fast and pushed her against the sink.

With her arms laid over the sink and her backside facing him, he spread her legs and slammed into her. She gasped as he entered and immediately went for her hair. He wrapped it around his hand and tugged on it as he started bucking his hips. His other hand on her waist.

She could already feel herself tightening again but wanted him to go with her.

“Derek, harder! Fuck, Derek. I’m gonna come. Come with me, baby, oooo shit.”, she moaned.

He growled, slamming into her harder and faster till he felt his release coming.

“Fuck, Emily... I’m gonna-“, he couldn’t finish his sentence. He reached his hand in front of her and helped her reach her point when she finally screamed and he followed right after. 

Both breathing heavy after they finished, he grabbed her waist with both hands and pushed all the way into her one more time, releasing everything. 

He finally pulled out and turned her around.

He grabbed her side with one hand and her face with the other and brought his lips to her for a passionate kiss. 

Once he pulled back, she looked in his eyes and said, “I didn’t finish my shower. I think we could both use one after that...”, she bit her lip, smiling. He smiled at her and took her hand as they both got in the shower.

Once they were getting dressed, he looked over at her pulling her shirt on.

“Emily.”, he said.

“Hm?”, she asked, turning around to him walking over to her. He wrapped his arm around her and put his other on her face again. 

“I just wanna say how much I love being with you... I mean, you’re really the best I’ve ever had. Because you’re not just some other girl I hooked up with. I care about you so much. I’m really falling hard for you. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m just so glad to be able to know I’m yours and you’re mine and neither of us are just going to leave in the morning and never see each other again like all the rest. This is different. _You’re_ different.”, he said, smiling.

“God, _you_ always say the long, meaningful, sweet things and all I have to say is _me too_. I feel the same way, Derek. I really do. You came into my life at the right time I think. I’m so glad you’re here... with me.”, she said, rubbing her hands up and down his chest. 

He pulled her in and gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead and looked back in her eyes.

“Let’s go grab a coffee and bagel on our way to work, yeah?”, he said.

“Sure”, she said and nodded with a smile. He let go of her and went to grab his jacket. 

“Alright, I’m ready, let’s go.”, he said. She grabbed her bag and they headed out to the car.

On their way to work, they grabbed coffee and bagels from a place a few blocks away from Emily’s apartment. 

As they were getting out of Derek’s car, once they got to work, he gave her a kiss.

When they were walking inside, she turned to look at him and said, “You know, you’re always over at my place... why don’t you keep a change of clothes in a drawer there?”, she asked. He looked over at her surprised. “Or not. I’m sorry that probably seemed like I was trying to take a step for moving in together, that’s not at all what I meant it as. You’re just over there all the time and I hate to-“, she got cut off.

“Emily... I’d love a drawer. I think it’s cute you want me to have one. I don’t think it was some big step you were trying to take. It’s just a drawer and it’s practical for us, with how we have to leave all the time at the drop of a hat. So, yes.”, he said and smiled at her.

They walked through the doors to the bullpen after getting off the elevator. 

“Okay, well, let’s clear some space for you tonight.”, she said.

“Sounds great, babe.”, he whispered.

As they set their stuff down, Derek looked all around the room. Emily laughed, “Derek, what are you doing?”

“What? Oh, nothing. I thought I saw a fly.”, he said.

“In _here?_ ”, she asked, teasing him.

“Yeah, well you know what, princess? Flies can get through doors and elevators and through more doors.”, he said.

“Alright, whatever you say.”, she laughed again, rolling her eyes.

  
  


Hotch walked out of his office and down the catwalk, he looked over. Emily and Derek were the only ones there so far.

“We got a case. Emily, can you go find the rest of everyone and bring them in here?”, Hotch asked.

“Sure.”, she said, starting to stand up. 

Derek shot up and stopped her.

“It’s alright, I got it.”, he said, practically running to Garcia’s office.

_What the hell was that? And why did he go to Garcia’s office? Was everyone in there and why did he know?_ She wondered.

She knew she had to go in the conference room and wait for everyone else to get there. But that also meant sitting and waiting with Hotch, which she was not so thrilled about doing. 

She sat down in a chair at the table, close to the front of the room and he sat in one right next to her and pulled out the case files, looking them over. 

She sat still, completely silent and looked at him out the corner of her eye. 

She wondered why he sat down next to her. Out of all the places he could’ve chosen, he chose right next to her.

“I’m sorry.”, he said. She looked over at him and he was still going through the file, he hadn’t even looked up at all yet.

“W- what?”, she asked, shocked.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything... back to you last night.”, he said.

“Aaron... I shouldn’t ha-“, she stopped herself and spun her chair around to face him.

He looked up and turned to her, giving her his full attention. She rested one arm on the table and the other in her lap as he did the same.

“Emily... I shouldn’t have stayed silent and let you walk out that door. You said what you said and I should have too.”, he told her, looking into her eyes. She felt a knot in her stomach. 

“Aaron, I shouldn’t have said that. That wasn’t fair to you or... Derek.”, she said.

He paused and stared at her with furrowed eyebrows but not angry.

“Is it true?”, he asked, eyeing her. “Is that really how you feel?”

“I’m with Derek now.”, she said.

“You said that at the end of the day that you’re with him but _I’m_ the one you’re thinking about... Is that _true?_ Is that how you _really_ feel?”, he asked her again.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel...”, she said quietly, looking down. He placed his hand on hers that was on the table and she looked at them before slowly bringing her head up. 

“Emily... your feelings _do_ matter... And I’m trying to talk to you about them.”, he told her, rolling his chair closer to her. He took her hand that his was on and brought it down onto their laps once their knees were touching, facing each other. He leaned over and in slightly to her.

He grabbed her other hand with his free one so he was holding both. He squeezed them and ran his thumb over one, stroking it. She felt her body go numb. 

He brought one to his lips and kissed it. 

She looked up again when he did that. She didn’t pull away even though she knew she should. She stared at him as he did that with the other. She hadn’t forgotten how soft his lips were but it was still such a shock.

“Your hands are so cold, Em...”, he whispered. He brought both of them together and held them as one in his hands. He stroked them, in hopes of warming them up. 

He barely leaned down and placed his lips on her hands cupped together. He closed his eyes and held it for more than just a few seconds. He finally looked back up at her and her eyes were closed but a single tear was falling down her cheek. He took one of his hands away from hers and wiped the tear away.

As he did that, she rolled her lips in. He couldn’t tell what she was trying to hold back. He returned his hand to where it was holding her before.

“Emily...”, he whispered. She opened her eyes, now showing sadness.

“Aaron, I _do_ miss you. I _do_ think about you when I shouldn’t and it _does_ hurt... but I _shouldn’t_ have said anything about it.”, she said.

“I shouldn’t have let you walk away after you told me that... I heard everything you said to me; I didn’t dismiss it... I was just shocked and I didn’t know if I should’ve responded honestly or not.”, he said.

“What do you mean?”, she asked.

“If I told you the truth, I don’t know... I just didn’t know if it would’ve been the right thing to do.”, he said.

“Tell me now...”, she said quietly.

“Em...”, he started.

“Aaron, I was vulnerable yesterday with you... You know you’re the only one I feel like I can let my guard down with, whether I can control it or not, which to be honest, I don’t feel like I _can_ control it with you. You just bring that out in me... So _please_... tell me _now_. Be honest with me _now_.”, she said, looking at him with soft yet pleading eyes.

He sighed and looked down. “Emily... I know it’ll hurt us both if I’m honest.”, he said, looking back up, making direct eye contact with her. 

“ _Aaron_.”, she begged softly.

“Emily, I miss you everyday _too_. I think about you everyday _too_. And when I go home to my wife every night and fall asleep next to her... _you’re_ the one I’m thinking of _too_. So, you wanted to know what I wish I could have said to you last night... well _there it is. You’re_ the one who I want with me at night. _You’re_ the one that I want by my side everyday and want to hold close whenever I can... But I _can’t_ and it pains me, knowing that someone else gets to and that’s not fair of me to say or feel for so many reasons, I know, but _that_ is how I feel...”, he said, staring deeper into her eyes, not breaking contact.

She took one of her hands from his and put it on his face, holding and stroking it. He still stared straight into her eyes, not moving at all.

She cocked her head and stayed looking at him, making a sad face. “I really hate this...”, she said. “I hate seeing you like this...”

“Why is this so hard?”, he asked, eyes looking down.

“Aaron... look at me.”, she said. He brought his eyes back to her. “I don’t know why... but you know how much I care about you, don’t you?”, she asked, bringing her hand from his face to the back of his head and neck, stroking it.

“Emily, I’m not just attracted to you, I don’t just care about you... I have feelings for you. _Real, actual_ feelings... I’m falling-“, he started before she cut him off.

“Aaron. Please. Don’t say what I know you’re about to say. I can’t...”, she whispered, lowering her head and bringing her hand down to his shoulder and sliding it down his arm. He took a hand away from hers, leaving one still there, and lowered his forehead to touch hers. He moved his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and hold it there on her face. 

“Em... I can’t pretend that’s not how I feel. I can’t lie to myself and say I’m not fall-“, before he could finish what he was saying, she grabbed his face with her free hand and crashed her lips onto his. 

It took him a second to process what was happening before he gave in and returned the kiss. 

Her mouth parting, letting her tongue slide into his but keeping it passionate and slow. Steady and somewhat calm. She let out a quiet, almost sad whimper after the kiss got more intense. She ran her fingers through his hair and grabbed it. 

After almost a minute, it hit her, what she was doing and she pulled away completely from him, still sitting just as close. She stared at him, her eyes wide, mouth dropped open a little. He stared right back at her with a look of shame and disappointment in himself, maybe even regret. She couldn’t quite tell what it was. 

Immediately, they heard the whole team talking with each other, coming towards the steps. Emily and Hotch both looked down and she tucked her hair behind her ear as she rolled her chair back and to the side more, away from him. 

Without looking at her, he handed her a case file right before everyone walked in. She opened it and pretended to read it over and look at the crime scene photos in it.

“Sorry that took us so long, Hotch. I needed some of their help with something for Garcia.”, JJ said.

He finally looked up at everyone. “No problem, let’s just go over the case so we can head to the jet.”, Hotch said, breathing in deep, trying not to be too obvious or loud when he exhaled.

Derek walked in behind JJ along with everyone else. He looked over at Emily and noticed Hotch took the spot next to her. He was upset he couldn’t sit next to her but mainly upset that something seemed off with her. She wasn’t looking up at all, her facial expression was hard to read but definitely not a happy one and Hotch was acting off too. 

He wondered if they’d gotten into another disagreement. But he also thought of the thing that Emily told him that she could only talk to Hotch about before. He hated the thought of that but decided to wait till later to bring anything up about it.

After JJ briefed them on the case, Hotch said, “Alright, wheels up in 20.” He and Emily folded their case files and only their eyes glanced over at each other before they stood up at the same time.

Emily walked down to all their desks to gather her things and walked over to JJ and Derek, whose desks were right next to each other’s. 

“Hey, so what were you guys doing in Garcia’s office earlier?”, Emily asked them. Derek walked over to her and JJ and put his arm around her shoulder playfully like he always did in front of the team so it didn’t seem weird to them. 

“Don’t you worry your little head about it, _princess_.”, he teased and winked at JJ. Derek kept his arm around her and said, “Come on JJ, you wanna ride with us?”, he asked.

“Sure, why not.”, she said grabbing her things.

They all started walking away and through the doors to the elevator. 

While they waited for it to open, Hotch walked up with his briefcase. 

Emily looked over her shoulder at him and felt a lump in her throat as she noticed the way he looked at Derek’s arm slung over her shoulder. She let a guilty and disappointed look pass her face when she made contact with Hotch. Her eyes wandered down before she turned back around. Hotch walked over and stood next to JJ so it wasn’t weird between him and Emily after that exchange. 

  
  


Once they got on the jet, Emily sat across from Derek. The whole time Hotch was going over the case, he tried hard not to look at Derek and Emily too much. It was killing him, knowing what they had just done. He knew they both felt guilty and knew they couldn’t keep coming back to each other like that. 

_How were they supposed to set boundaries when they’re always around each other and told each other they can always come to the other if they need it?_ He wondered. 

He decided to talk to her later and work things out. They needed to talk about what happened between them in the conference room earlier. He just didn’t know what he was going to say.


	22. "I Love You"

**Chapter 22**

  
  


**fair warning: mainly smut included in this chapter**

  
  


* * *

Back at the hotel that night, Hotch was pacing in his room, trying to decide if he should go knock on Emily’s door.

He wanted to talk to her about what happened earlier that day but once again, he couldn’t think of what he was going to say to her.

Without getting lost in his head too much more, he walked to his door. Right as he opened it, Emily was standing in front of it with her hand up, about to knock.

They stood there staring at each other for a moment until she started walking forward at a determined pace, backing him up into his close to dark room. None of the lights were on but the moon shone through the window enough to see everything. 

The door shut behind them and once it did, she grabbed his face and crashed her lips onto his for the second time that day. His hands came around to her back, holding her, as he reciprocated the soft touch of her lips. Her other hand went up to the back of his neck and one of his moved to her waist. 

After a minute, she went for his shirt and he pulled it off. He couldn’t believe how fast this was happening. She backed him up to the bed, still not breaking the kiss until she took her tank top off that she was going to wear to bed. Leaving her in just her pajama shorts and plain black bra, he sat down on the edge of the bed as her lips returned to his and her hands to his face. 

He placed his hands on her sides above her waist as she got up on top of him and straddled him. He laid down flat on his back and pulled her in more. He bit down on her bottom lip, making her whimper and come back to him after with even more tongue. 

He moved his hands down to her ass, grabbing her and pulling her waist up as she started grinding on him. He moaned through kisses, “Emily...” She didn’t reply except with heavy breathing when she looked in his eyes before returning to his lips again. 

She broke away from the kiss to unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them off and returned to what she was doing before, on top of him. 

While she continued to grind on him, she could feel him growing harder against her through his boxers. She flipped her hair to the side and kissed down his neck. She came back up to his face and opened her mouth right away. 

He decided to take the lead and flip her over without breaking the kiss. Before she could put her legs around his waist while on her back, he reached for her shorts. He slowly slid them off and coming back up, he kissed the inside of her thigh. His hands wandered all over her body. He moved from one side to the other, kissing her other inner thigh, high up. His lips traveled up to her hips and then a trail up her stomach to her chest, then neck, and paused, looking up into her eyes.

They were both breathing hard before he carefully placed his lips back on hers and she grabbed his face and hair. She wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him closer. 

Now on top of her, bodies pressed against each other’s, feeling her pulse and soft skin, smelling her perfume, and feeling her presence, he knew for sure how he felt. He knew, without a doubt that he loved her. 

When his hands went for her bra, she arched her back, letting him get under to unhook it and slide it off. Once it was gone, he brought his eyes to her breasts for the first time, no longer covered by her bra. He stared for a moment in awe, taking in all her beauty. He brought his gaze back to her and kissed her deep.

He could feel her wet against his boxers and knew he needed her. With her legs still wrapped around him, he sat up and slid her underwear down. She unhooked her legs from around him as he pulled them off. Before he leaned back onto her, he slid his boxers down and let them fall off to the side.

She was amazed at how large he was. 

He leaned back down to her and hovered over her, staring into her eyes. He kissed her again and grabbed his length, moving it up and down her wet folds. She moaned as he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly pushed in. 

Her mouth opened, breaking their kiss and she gasped as he entered her. He was about to stop, not wanting to hurt her and she could sense that. He was larger than she’d expected but her body just had to adjust. Not wanting him to pause though, she grabbed his back with one hand and the back of his head with the other, pulling him closer, letting him know to continue.

He moved all the way in, embedding himself as deep inside her as he could. 

Once he did, he held it there, kissed her deep, and took in the moment before he pulled almost all the way out and slid back inside.

Realizing they’d only spoken a single word since she came into his room, he let himself break the silence. As he started going slow, he moaned quietly, “God... Em... you feel so good.”, he kissed her neck, continuing to move in and out. 

She ran her hands through his hair and he began to slightly speed up. “Ooohh... Aaron...”, she moaned.

He grabbed her ass on the side and started picking up his pace. His other hand went to her hair and his fingers tangled around in it. He stared deep in her eyes and kissed her again, both of them inhaling deeply as he started pumping in and out of her even faster.

Hotch had been wanting this for so long, wanting to be with her, wanting to share a moment like this with her, wanting to share his love. It wasn’t just sex to him. It was being intimate with her on a whole other level. A new level that he had desired and never knew he’d be able to reach. He couldn’t believe that he had her in that moment. That they were together in that moment. That everything felt so right in that moment. He never wanted to let it go. Their touch on each other was passionate, desperate, deep.

They got lost in the moment, without even thinking, they flipped over at the same time, without him slipping out of her at all. It was like they could communicate without words, they both knew what they wanted without having to say anything.

Once she was on top of him, she laid flat on him, pressing her breasts against his bare chest. She’d grinded on him before but never without clothes on or with him inside her and it elicited an unimaginable feeling in her this time.

She began kissing down his neck till his hands came down to her ass and helped her move along, hitting a spot that made her go crazy and she wasn’t ready to end what was happening. She couldn’t stop though and she brought her mouth to his ear, pressing the side of her face against his. She was panting hard. 

“Aaron... I need you to- oh god...”, she managed to get out and before she could finish, he knew what was happening. He flipped her over again, hovering over her with his breath on hers.

He knew she was close and he wanted to send her over the edge but also knew she was holding on because she didn’t want it to end yet and neither did he.

He slowed down until he stopped and leaned over to kiss her neck. His lips traveled all the way up to her jaw when he stopped and whispered breathy, “Em...”

He brushed the side of his face against hers till he reached her lips and looked at her straight on, noses touching, foreheads pressed together. They were breathing heavy and his hand came up to her face and stroked her cheek. 

He never thought he could ever be so close to her, physically or emotionally.

After a long pause, he finally spoke the words he’d been trying to earlier that day.

“I love you...”, he said, steady yet out of breath. Waiting for her response, the fear and anticipation of what she might say next, built up. It felt like the longest moment of silence he’d ever experienced.

Finally, she found the words and didn’t have to think about it before they came out of her mouth. 

“I love you too.”, she said, bringing her hand to his face and stroking it as well. 

He felt a wave of relief among many other things, wash over him and very softly smiled and claimed her mouth with his.

He started moving again and spread her legs wider with his in between them, allowing him more access. He pumped in and out of her faster. 

When he could feel her whimper against his lips, he moved them to under her chin to the side at the top of her neck.

He moved down to her breasts and took one in his mouth while fondling the other and squeezing it, causing her to make sounds of pleasure. 

“Ohhhh... Aaron... _please_...”, she whined. 

He moved his mouth to her ear and whispered “What, Em? What do you want?”, he panted.

He could feel her start to tighten around him. He smiled across her cheek and jaw still by her ear, where he placed more kisses.

“Come with me, Aaron. _Pleaseee_... ah fuck... oh my god.”, she moaned. 

She knew how hot this made him and she couldn’t help saying it either. He didn’t know he could get any harder but somehow he did. He started thrusting himself into her harder and faster, grunting, while still kissing her neck. 

She wanted to scream but knew she couldn’t have others hear her so she bit down on her lip hard.

She whimpered and moaned in a high pitch. “Ah- ah- ahhhhhhh... Aaron, harder please... ooooooh fuuuuck.”, she whined.

He couldn’t help it anymore, she told him to do it and so he slammed into her hard. “Fuck... ahh Em... ah shiiittt...”, he hissed. 

He knew he was close and she was too, she wanted him to go with her. He brought his thumb down to her clit and started rubbing in circles, keeping up his pace of his hips bucking into her. She felt like she was about to tumble over the edge and dug her fingers into his back. Her breath hitched each time he slammed into her.

“Aaron... ah... I’m gonna-“, she struggled to get the words out.

“Let go, Em. Come for me.”, he said out of breath.

He felt her start tightening even more around him and she finally released it.

She quietly cried out, trying to not be loud. 

“Fuck! Oh my god, yes, yes, Aaron! Holy shit... ahh ahhh.”, she moaned in a high pitch again, while she rode out her high.

He felt her fluttering around him and all of a sudden, reached his own climax. He slammed into her a few more times, harder than before, riding out his own high, wanting to scream.

“Oh fuuuuckk! Arrghhh. Ah Emily, fuck! Oh my god...”, he growled, collapsing on top of her and pounding in one more time, burying himself all the way inside of her, emptying himself completely. 

He dropped his head against her neck and hair and kissed behind her ear. 

She kept one hand on his back and one running through his hair. Both breathing heavy as they were coming down.

He finally pulled out of her after a solid minute and sat up, helping her up too.

They scooted to the head of the bed and got under the covers and laid down.

He knew she was going to end up staying the night in there, they were both exhausted after what had just gone down. He couldn’t deny the fact that he wanted her to anyways even though it probably wasn’t a good idea. 

Once they were lying down on their sides, facing each other, he stared deep in her eyes that were so close to his. Their bodies were pressed against each other’s. 

A corner of his lip turned up as he brushed away a few curls in her face and tucked them behind her ear. She smiled at the simple touch when he traced her cheekbone after that, holding his hand in place.

“I’ve said it before but I’m not going to stop saying it... You’re so beautiful, Em... you’re _so goddamn_ beautiful. I love you.”, he said softly.

She wrapped her arm around his torso.

“I love you too, Aaron.”, she said. He leaned into her more and placed his lips on hers. She felt how soft they were and he loved how sweet she was. Neither of them wanted to let go.

“I can’t believe that happened... and I can’t believe the way you make me feel.”, he said. He brought his hand down to around her back. 

“I’m glad I’m here with you right now. I don’t know how much longer I could handle it. Seeing you everyday, not getting to touch you at all, talk to you like this. This is perfect right here.”, she said.

“ _You’re_ perfect.”, he said, giving her another kiss.

She smiled and rested her head on his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

He drew little circles on her back as she grew more and more tired, eyes finally closing.

He decided they _both_ needed some rest and shut his eyes as well, feeling more satisfied than he had for a long time.

He whispered in her ear, “Goodnight, Em. I love you.”

He thought she must’ve been asleep after a moment of silence until he felt a tear fall from her eye onto his chest and she wiped it away with the sheets covering them. He brought her chin up to look at him.

“Em, what’s wrong?”, he asked.

“I don’t wanna ruin this moment.”, she said.

“Emily...”, he said.

She sighed, “I just feel guilty now...”, she said.

“I know... I do too... What can I do?”, he asked.

“The only thing that makes me feel better is you. Moments like this. But having these moments is also what I feel guilty about... I don’t know.”, she sighed.

“Hey, I’m right here. Right now, it’s just me and you. Okay? We’re not focusing on anyone or anything else. Just right now. We’ll deal with it tomorrow or whenever we get back, okay?”, he said.

“Alright, fine.”, she said.

“Good. You need some rest, go to sleep.”, he whispered, stroking her hair.

She looked at him right in the eye and grabbed his face and kissed him. 

“Thank you.”, she said with a smile.

He chuckled, “For what?”

“For being _you_.”, she said.

He rubbed her shoulder and said, “You bring out the best in me... well... most of the time.”, he laughed as she slapped him playfully and giggled.

“I was kind of surprised that you told me that tonight.”, she said.

“Told you what?”, he asked.

“... That... you love me...”, she said shyly.

“Oh, well, I tried to tell you earlier but you told me to shut up and when I tried again, you kissed me so I figured I may as well try again while we were doing what we just did. Kind of made sense to.”, he chuckled again. He paused and his tone became more serious but loving. “But, it also just came out... because... it’s true, Emily. I _do_ love you and I feel like I’ve known you so long and I know what you’re gonna say, that _yes, well, actually we have known each other for years..._ but there was a huge gap in between. And now it feels like we’re re-connected. And I just can’t explain it but something has always drawn me to you. I guess it all started back when I met you the first time. You were so sweet and beautiful then too and so intelligent, I knew you were going to do great things, Em, and you _have_. I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come, all your hard work and your successes. That’s _one_ reason why I love you. You make me proud of you. That’s just one reason. There’s so many more.”, he said.

“God, Aaron, I thought you were trying to make me _stop_ crying.”, she said, tearing up. “I can’t list the reasons why I love you but I hope you know that I do.”, she said. 

“As of tonight, I _do_.”, he said touching her face. “I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hurt you, Em. I don’t deserve having you in my life like this.”, he said.

“Aaron, don’t say that. You deserve so much. You deserve to be happy. Ever since you said it tonight, it’s all I want to tell you, so you can believe it. Or feel better about everything, or at _least_ have it bring some comfort to you. So I’m going to say it again... _Aaron Hotchner, I love you_. And I don’t want to hear you say anything like what you just did about yourself again.”, she said.

“You warm my heart, Emily Prentiss. That is _one more_ reason why I love you.”, he said, smiling.

She smiled back and kissed him before laying her head back down against his chest. “Goodnight, Aaron.”, she said, hugging his side.

“Goodnight, Em.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

She fell asleep within minutes and he laid awake for over an hour, taking in every second that he got to hold her. 

Thoughts running through his head about what to do after that night. 

He was still married and she was still with Derek. But they loved each other and they finally knew it. They finally shared their love for each other in one of the most intimate ways they desired.

He knew his marriage was coming to an end. He’d tried so hard to save it but he _knew_ it was already over. The only thing was that neither he or his wife had actually walked away yet. 

_Maybe this changes everything for him and for Emily’s relationships_. He thought.

Regardless, he had to talk about it with her later and he _needed_ to sleep before then. He eventually drifted off, comfortably holding her for the rest of the night. 


	23. Not So Bulletproof After All

**Chapter 23**

* * *

  
  


Hotch’s alarm on his phone went off at 6:00am and he reached over for it on the night table with his arm that was wrapped over Emily. His other arm was under her. 

He brought his phone to him to check any messages he might have from the station or anyone back at the BAU. He felt her stirring against his chest and her eyes opening. It was barely light out, with it being so early. 

She scooted her head up from his chest to his head and placed a kiss along his jawline. He put his phone down on the table and faced her, bringing his hand to stroke her hair. 

“Good morning.”, he said, looking in her eyes.

“Good _morning_.”, she whispered with a smile. “What time is it?”

“It’s 6:00 am. I’m sorry you had to wake up earlier than you usually do. I know you guys sleep in more than I get to.”, he said.

“It’s okay. I’m waking up next to you. It makes up for it.”, she said.

He smiled and planted a soft kiss on her lips. She ran her hand up and down his back.

“I didn’t think I’d ever be able to.”, he said.

“Neither did I.”, she said.

“You know, I’ve heard you on the phone when you woke up but I’ve never _seen_ you when you wake up and it’s even cuter.”, he said.

They both giggled and she pressed her forehead to his.

“ _You_ get the cutest bed head and raspy voice when _you_ wake up.”, she said, bringing her hand up his back and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Em... last night... was great.”, he said.

“I know...”, she whispered, smiling.

“When I opened that door, I was on my way to your room. Just to talk to you. I didn’t expect what we ended up doing to happen.”, he said.

“I wasn’t exactly planning it either. I just walked over here without thinking. When I saw you, something just came over me.”, she said.

He kissed her forehead and said, “I don’t know what I was planning on doing.”, he said. 

They didn’t speak for a while, enjoying holding each other while they still could.

She closed her eyes and sighed, “What are we going to do, Aaron?”

“I don’t know... I really don’t know...”, he said.

“We can’t let it happen again...”, she told him. 

“I know but how do we make sure of that?”, he asked.

“I’m not sure but we just can’t. I thought being with someone else would make it easier but... I love you and now you know that and knowing you feel the same way... makes it that much harder no matter who I’m with because I just want _you_.”, she said.

“I know... and of course I feel guilty too, you’re not alone in that... But I don’t know how to turn my feelings off for you.”, he said.

“I know.”, she told him, bringing her hand down to his shoulder and holding on. He brought his hand from her hair, to her back and drew circles on it and sliding them along her spine. 

“Hmmmm.”, she hummed, relaxing from his touch.

“Em... we should probably get dressed now...”, he said reluctantly, not wanting her to leave.

She sighed, “I don’t want to leave your arms, Aaron. I don’t want this to end.”

“I know, neither do I but we have to get ready and you have to go back to your room before anyone notices.”, he told her.

“One more minute...”, she said.

He replied by pulling her in gently as she put her head on his chest and her other hand next to it, running it up and down his chest.

They stayed there for more than a minute, losing track of time until he snapped out of it. He pulled her hair back and placed a gentle kiss on her neck.

“Em... I hate to kick you out but we really do have to get ready and avoid running into anybody in the hall.”, he said as he stroked her hair.

“Okay...”, she said.

They both got up and she put her pajamas back on as he put his boxers back on. 

She walked to the door and he grabbed her side and turned her around. His other hand on her face, bringing it up, and placed his lips on hers gently.

She wrapped arms around his torso and pulled away after a sweet moment.

He traced the outline of her face and said, “I love you, Em. We’ll talk when we get back to Quantico, okay?”, he said.

“Okay... I love you too, Aaron.”, she said.

She grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him deep one more time before walking to the door. She looked out to see if anyone was in the hall while Hotch’s hand was on her back. Once the coast was clear, she stepped out, letting his hand fall, and she walked back to her room.

Once she left, Hotch walked over to his bed and sat down. He put his elbows on his knees and dropped his face into his hands, running his fingers through his hair. 

_What had he done? He betrayed his family on a whole other level now, especially because he loved this woman and couldn’t turn his feelings off. He wanted her but didn’t know how that would ever happen. What were they supposed to do from there? Pretend it never happened?_ He thought. He stayed there for a while before he finally got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When Emily got back in her room, she felt numb until her phone rang. She walked over to the night table and saw that Derek was calling her. She picked it up, nervous.

“Hey, you. What’s going on?”, she asked, trying to sound normal.

“Well good morning, princess. I went downstairs a minute ago and got us some coffee and muffins. Just wanted to see if you were up. I tried texting you but you didn’t answer. Figured you were still asleep.”, he said.

“Yeah, I uh- just woke up a minute ago. I was about to hop in the shower but why don’t you get ready and come over... as long as nobody is up yet.”, she said.

“I’m already changed and ready. I’ll walk over now.”, he said.

“See you in a second.”, she hung up. She freaked out, having to see him right after what she’d just done with Hotch.

Less than a minute later, Derek knocked on her door and she opened it. He walked inside holding their coffees and muffins. 

“Hey, babe.”, he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek, walking over to the table across the room and setting their breakfast down. She faked a smile that was awkward way beyond imaginable for her.

“Hey, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick if that’s alright.”, she said.

“Need any company?”, he asked, smirking.

“No, I just need to hop in and out. I don’t want to get a late start.”, she said abruptly, walking straight into the bathroom, needing to have space from him. She could feel it building.

She turned the water on and got undressed. Once she stepped into the shower, a million thoughts ran through her mind about what happened the night before. She remembered every detail of it. All the way from her pushing Hotch in his room, to getting on top of him, to taking their clothes off, to feeling him inside her, to him saying he loved her, to them calling out each other’s names, to falling asleep in his arms after. 

She found herself missing him already, wanting to be wrapped in his arms instead of Derek being in her room.

She had no idea what was going to happen now. 

She finished her shower and wrapped herself in a towel, walking back into the room and opening her go bag to grab a change of clothes. 

Derek came up behind her and grabbed her, kissing her neck. She felt like she couldn’t have him in her room anymore and just needed space. She didn’t know if it was just the guilt or feeling smothered or uncomfortable by him but it all came bubbling to the surface and she snapped. 

“Derek, stop!”, she jerked away from him.

He put his hands up and backed away.

“Whoa. I’m sorry. Did I do something?”, he asked.

She realized how she snapped at him and instantly felt sorry and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, I just... I need some space right now. Could you just-“, she said, darting her eyes to the door to tell him to leave.

“Okay... Can I get you anything? Do you need-“,he asked confused before she cut him off.

“No, please, I just need some space right now. Please, just-“, she snapped again as she put her hands in front of her, frustrated. 

“Okay, alright, I’m leaving.”, he said, grabbing his coffee and walking out the door. 

Once he left, she walked to the bed and sat down on the edge and started balling her eyes out. 

She couldn’t control it. She felt so guilty about what happened and at the same time so sad that whatever happened with Hotch had to come to an end. 

On one hand, she wished the previous night had never occurred, but on another, she wished she never had to leave that hotel room in the morning.

She eventually got up and finished getting ready for the day. Once she was dressed, hair and makeup done, she stepped out and saw Hotch walking out of his room at the same time. They looked over at each other and he walked up to her and they started going down the hall, side by side.

“Hey... how are you feeling?”, he asked.

“Horrible. I just snapped at Derek for no reason.”, she said, lowering her head.

He noticed no one else was out in the hall and he placed his hand on her lower back. It sent chills up her spine, but she didn’t move away.

“Why? What happened?”, he asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know. He came up from behind me and tried to hold me and I instantly jerked away from him and just snapped and told him to get out. For no reason.”, she said.

Once they got in the elevator, alone, she leaned her head on his shoulder and his grip on her side tightened. 

“Well, I think there probably _was_ a reason.”, he said.

She paused. “Aaron?”, she started.

“Yeah?”, he asked. 

“Do you think last night was a mistake...?”, she asked quietly. 

“Nothing with or about you is a mistake, Em.”, he said.

“Don’t you think it was wrong what we did?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... but I do know that I love you and last night _was_ amazing...”, he said, kissing her head.

“I know, I just wonder if I ever should have come to your door last night.”, she said.

“I don’t think we can spend time wondering about the ‘ _what if’s_ ’. It happened. Now, we have to figure out where to go from there, which we obviously can’t do right now or while we’re still here.”, he said. The elevator dinged and they got off. “Are you riding with me?”, he asked.

“Sure.”, she said, breaking apart from him as they walked to the car and got in. Once she put her seatbelt on, he turned to look at her and placed his hand on her face. 

“I don’t regret last night... It was wrong on some levels, definitely. But I love you. And sharing that with someone you love can’t be _all_ wrong.”, he said.

She turned to face him and touched his hand. “You really feel that way?”, she asked.

He sighed at her, and made a disappointed face almost as if he felt bad for her but caring. “Em... of course, I do.”, he said.

She leaned over and kissed him. “Okay...”, she said, nodding her head.

He looked in her eyes and kissed her again, stroking her cheek. “Come on, let’s head to the station.”, he said, starting the car.

  
  


Once they got to the station, Emily spotted Derek coming out of the bathroom. She went up to him before he walked back to everyone else.

“Hey...”, she said to him.

“Hey.”, he said, looking down.

“Listen, Derek, I’m really sorry for snapping at you earlier. I was just in a mood and I took it out on you. I should’ve communicated it better.”, she said.

“Emily, I don’t know what’s goin’ on but that seemed like more than just being in a bad mood. Something seriously upset you and...”, he looked around and whispered, “I’m your boyfriend. You should be able to talk to me about these things. I know you got a lot of stuff you don’t share and that’s fine but sometimes you have to. It’s kind of hard to make a relationship work if you’re not honest and open.”

“I know and you’re right. When we get back home, come back to my place, spend the night, we’ll clear the drawer out for you, and we’ll talk. I promise.”, she said.

“Alright... Now let’s go do our job so we can get home and do _that_.”, he said.

She smiled and they both walked into the conference room where everyone else was.

  
  


Throughout the day, Emily stayed focused on work and barely thought about her talk with Derek or her talk with _Hotch_ that she knew she had to have whenever they got back home.

After a few hours, Hotch came back into the conference room from being at a crime scene.

“Hotch, we got a lead.”, Reid said, showing him a map with some other files. 

“Call Garcia, get us an address, I’ll let everybody else know.”, Hotch said. 

Reid called Garcia and got the address for a warehouse where they believed the unsub was hiding out. Emily rode with Derek on the way there and they were silent the whole ride. 

Once they got out of the car, everyone had pulled up at the same time. They all got out and drew their guns, running towards the building.

Derek signaled that he was going around back incase the unsub tried to get away. Everybody else was posted up around the outside of the warehouse except for Emily and Hotch.

They walked in through the door to the building, quietly. It was dark; even their flashlights didn’t show much. 

Once they came upon doors on each side of a hallway, they signaled to each other they were going in one on each side. Emily took the one closest while Hotch walked down a bit further to one on the other side. 

Emily opened the door and immediately, she was hit in the face and knocked down to the ground. A man picked up her gun and pointed it at her. 

Hotch had found the room he was in, empty. He spoke into his wire, “Clear.”

He waited a moment for her to repeat the same thing but she didn’t. 

“Emily, do you copy?”, he spoke into the wire again. After no answer for 10 seconds, he brought his gun and flashlight back up again. He walked out and went down, towards the room she had gone into, slowly. 

All of a sudden, a light turned in the room she was in and Hotch got up against the wall, sliding down the rest of the way. Once he got to the metal door, he turned the handle and pushed it open fast. 

Hotch pointed the gun from side to side and saw the unsub in the middle of the room. He pointed it right at the unsub. Emily was on the floor with a cut on her face, bleeding. The unsub had the gun pointed at her and quickly pulled her up and held her in front of him with the gun pointed at her again.

“Put the gun down, Roy.”, Hotch tried to say as calmly as he could.

“You put yours down, let me go, and I’ll let _her_ go.”, the unsub said.

“You know I can’t do that. Let her go and we can talk about this. Nobody has to get hurt.”, Hotch said, looking at Emily. His heart was racing, seeing the blood dripping down her face and the look she wore on it. He could tell she was scared but trying to not to show it.

“You know, Roy, this is probably why all those women you killed, rejected you in the first place. You’re a coward. You couldn’t even hold up a relationship for more than a week.”, she said.

“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”, he yelled as he shook the gun in frustration. 

Hotch could tell she was trying to distract the unsub so Hotch could make a move but it just made him more nervous when he saw her clenched fists and her shut her eyes, pressing her lips into a thin line. 

“I’m going to tell you one more time. Put the gun down.”, Hotch said.

The unsub froze and all of a sudden pointed the gun at Hotch fast and fired 3 times at him, each one hitting him. 

“No!”, she screamed.

He fell to the ground and the unsub dropped Emily and ran out. 

Although she knew she should run after him, her first instinct was to go to Hotch. 

Besides, everyone else was outside waiting for him.

  
  



	24. Agent Down

**Chapter 24**

* * *

  
  


The unsub ran off and Emily fell to the ground. Having trouble getting up, being in so much pain, and Hotch being so close, she crawled to him.

“Aaron!”, she screamed. She got to him and sat up next to him by his side, on her knees. “Aaron, Aaron. Look at me, okay? Look at me.”, she said, frantically. 

His eyes kept opening and closing. He winced and tried to breathe deep but let out a groan, in pain. She looked all over his body to see where he was hit. His vest had caught one of the bullets but he was bleeding from his shoulder, right by his chest and also by the bottom of his neck. The one by his neck was bleeding fast.

She looked all around for something to absorb it with but there was nothing.

She took her hand and cupped his neck, sliding her fingers underneath and holding her palm tight against the wound. 

She pressed the wire on her vest and yelled into it, “I need a medic! Shots fired! Agent down!” She brought her free hand to his face and stroked it. “Hey, hey, hey. You’re gonna be okay. Keep your eyes open. Look at me.”, she said.

He tried hard but he couldn’t keep his eyes open for very long. He couldn’t speak at full volume but practically breathed, “Emily... you need to go get him.”

“No, I’m staying right here with you. The rest of the team has him. Just stay awake, okay? Can you do that? No, Aaron, stop. Please. Aaron!”, she said. 

She looked down at her hand and noticed how much blood there was. She could barely stop any from coming out. Her mouth dropped and she felt tears streaming down her face instantly. 

She stroked his hair and looked in his eyes. She tried to bring her tone down to a calming one.

“It’s okay. Just hold on, the medic’s coming.”, she said. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

“Em... are you okay?”, he struggled to get out, looking at her and the blood dripping down her face from where she was hit.

She laughed with her voice still shaky, tears still running down her face. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Just please don’t move, don’t try and speak right now.”, she said, looking straight in his eyes.

“I love you, Em.”, he said.

“Nope. Stop it. You’re not doing that.”, she said. She pressed the wire again. “I need that medic now!”, she said into it.

She looked back down at him and tried to smile. “I love you too, Aaron.”, she said.

They were silent for a minute before she heard someone coming and she looked up to see two medics running up with a gurney and medical supplies. 

“Thank god, you’re here. Uh- he was- he was hit in the shoulder and the neck. I- I have my hand on it right now. He lost...”, she looked down and gasped at the pool of blood on the ground. She began stuttering more. “He lost a lot of blood.”, she said.

One of the medics bent down and put gauze on his neck in place of her hand as she pulled it away. They placed more on his shoulder and lifted him up on to the gurney. The other medic looked at her cut. “We need to get that stitched up.”, he said. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ll just put some gauze on it. I’m riding with you.”, she said, walking with them out of the building. 

As they ran outside, JJ, Gideon, and Spencer ran up to them. “Oh my god, Emily, what happened?!”, JJ said, looking at her and Hotch.

“JJ, it’s fine, please, just tell me you caught the unsub.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, Derek’s heading back to the station with him. Which hospital are you going to!”, she said fast and worried.

“I don’t know, I’ll text you the address, just go help with whatever!”, Emily said.

JJ and the rest ran off in the opposite direction and Emily climbed in the back of the ambulance with the medic bringing Hotch in.

He and Emily sat on either side of Hotch’s gurney. The shaky ambulance was unnerving for her as they drove. She heard the metal rattling on his gurney and on the glass behind her on the wall of the vehicle, containing other medical supplies.

The medic listened to his heart, checked his vitals, and hooked him up to machines for it. Emily held his hand and stroked his hair. “We’re on our way to the hospital now, okay?”, she said.

He tried to open his mouth to speak but his eyes rolled back and fluttered close as his heart on the monitor flatlined. 

Her grip on his hand tightened. “Aaron!”, she said.

The medics grabbed the AED and told her to move. Emily sat back with her hand covering her mouth, while she tried not to cry more but ultimately failed.

The medic shocked him three times before he was stabilized again.

“Alright, he’s stabilized but still unconscious. We’re almost at the hospital.”, he said. She nodded her head, not able to speak, and leaned over to him. She held onto his arm and stroked his hair again until they got to hospital. 

  
  


When they reached the ambulance bay, the nurses and doctors opened the back of the ambulance. They rolled Hotch out and helped Emily down and she started following them as they rushed him inside.

“We got a GSW to the neck, bleeding heavily, and a GSW to the left shoulder. He’s an FBI agent...”, the medic said.

A doctor looked at a nurse and said, “Go book O.R. 1, we’re headed there now.”

Emily kept following and a nurse stopped her once they got to the doors and pushed him through.

“I’m sorry, Agent. You can’t go back there, they’re taking him to surgery. I need to stitch up that cut on your head.”, she said.

Emily choked back some tears. “No, I- I need to be with him. He-“, Emily tried to get out. The nurse lead her over to a bed in the E.R. and sat her down. 

“Please, just stay here. We’re gonna clean that up for you. They’re taking good care of him, okay?”, she said.

Emily sat down as the nurse grabbed supplies to stitch up the cut on her face.

After a few minutes, while the nurse was doing her work on her, Emily tried to stay as still as possible. The nurse broke the silence. “He’s more than just your co-worker, isn’t he?”, she asked.

“He’s our Unit Chief. He’s- he’s our boss. Best one we’ve had.”, she sniffled.

She finished up the stitches and took her gloves off and wiped the rest of the blood off her face. She set her hands in her lap and sighed, “I see enough people come through here to know whether it’s just their boss or a loved one...”, she said eyeing her. 

Emily sat silent, not knowing what to say at first. She held her breath and asked, “Is he going to be okay?”

The nurse smiled softly at her. “They’re doing everything they can. The GSW to the neck isn’t good but... I’ve seen worse before and you’ve got some of the best team working on him.”, she said.

She nodded and sniffled some more when Derek and JJ came in and rushed over to her. “Emily! God, what happened to your face?”, Derek said. The nurse smiled at her and patted her leg as she stood up and walked away.

“I’m fine, guys, really.”, she said.

“Emily, where’s Hotch?”, JJ asked. 

She was still in a bit of shock and her voice was shaky. “He’s uh- in surgery... right now. They just took him back about 20 minutes ago, so... I don’t know what’s happening.”, she shook her head.

“Alright, we’re all in the waiting room, are you done here?”, Derek asked.

“Yeah, I’m good to go.”, she said.

They got up and walked to the waiting room and met Spencer and Gideon there. JJ and Derek sat on each side of Emily. She was shaking her leg up and down, anxious, waiting to hear an update. 

After a few hours, Gideon and Spencer got a phone call and had to go back to the station, leaving Emily, JJ, and Derek at the hospital. They waited another couple hours until a doctor finally came out with an update. Emily shot up right away.

“He’s lost a lot of blood but we were able to repair the damage. He’s going to be alright but it’ll be a couple months till he’s cleared to go out into the _field_.”, he said. 

“Can we see him?”, JJ asked. 

“They just brought him to his room, I’ll take you there now. He’s still hasn’t woken up from the anesthesia yet but he should be any minute.”, he said, walking them to his room.

They reached his door and they all walked inside. Emily stood against the wall, wanting so badly to go right up to him. JJ and Derek sat down in chairs next to each other off to the side.

JJ looked up at Emily and asked, “What _happened_ back at the warehouse?”

“The unsub hit me and then pointed the gun at me, Hotch tried to talk him down to let me go but he shot at him fast and got away. Or at least till you guys got him.”, Emily said.

“You sure your head is alright?”, Derek looked at her with sad eyes.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”, she said with a slight smile, trying to reassure him. She could tell he wanted to hug her but JJ was there so he kept his hands to himself.

Emily finally sat down and within a few minutes, she heard Hotch waking up.

Derek and JJ got up and went over to him.

“What happened?”, he whispered, eyes still closed.

“You’re in the hospital. Unsub got you, but you’re gonna be fine, Hotch, alright?”, Derek said.

“Where’s Emily?”, he asked.

“Um- she’s right-“, JJ started.

“I’m right here, Hotch.”, Emily said, standing up but not stepping too close to him. 

“Are you alright?”, he asked.

“He got a good hit in, but they stitched me up. I’ll be fine.”, she said.

He gulped, struggling for air after and said, “I need you guys to go back to the station, finish up your work. I’ll be fine here.”, Hotch said.

“You sure, man?”, Derek asked.

“Yes. Please, just go do your job.”, he said.

“Alright. We’re glad you’re okay...”, JJ said. 

They started walking out and Emily looked back at Hotch, wanting to stay. 

Once they were out in the hallway, Emily’s head started to hurt. She stopped and put her hand to it.

“Emily, you alright?”, Derek asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll meet you guys back there. I think I’m gonna have them check the stitches out again or get something for the pain. I’ll keep Hotch company after. Seriously, you guys go ahead. I’ll see you later.”, she said.

“Okay... call us if you need anything?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, will do. I’ll call you with any updates too.”, she said.

They walked out and Emily walked back into the E.R. She started to feel dizzy as she walked to the front. The nurse who did her stitches, came over to her.

“Agent? Are you alright?”, she asked.

She looked around and stumbled to the ground, passing out.

Emily woke up in a hospital bed in the E.R., still wearing her clothes, with an I.V. in her arm. She sat up a bit and the nurse came over to her. 

“Looks like someone had a pretty good mix of dehydration, shock, and needed a bit of food. Here you go.”, she said, hanging Emily some saltines. She took them and ate a few.

“How long was I out?”, she asked.

“Oh, about 20 minutes. Probably should’ve rested a bit longer before you got up earlier.”, she said.

“Well, am I good now?”, she asked.

“Just a few more minutes. Finish those up and once the bag is done, you’re free to go.”, she smiled. 

“Thanks...”, Emily said. Once the I.V. bag was empty and she finished her crackers, the nurse came back and took it out.

“Feel better, hun. Take it easy the next few days, okay?”, she said.

“Thank you.”, Emily smiled.

Emily walked back to Hotch’s room and stepped inside slowly. She could tell he was asleep so she quietly pulled up a chair to his side. She rested her arms on the edge of the bed, watching him and eventually laid her head down.

She almost fell asleep but felt a rough hand on her arm. She looked up and Hotch’s eyes had opened; he was looking down at her. She sat up and took his hand in hers.

“You’re awake.”, she said.

His voice was raspy and quiet. He had a bandage on his neck and one under his gown on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and gulped again. “Yeah... I’m still here.”, he said. “Did he do that to you?”, he looked at her forehead. 

“Yeah, but I’m fine. I already told you. You, on the other hand...”, she said.

“I’ll be fine...”, he told her. She bit her lip and looked down; she felt tears stinging in her eyes. “Em...”, he said. The tears trailed down her face when she looked back up at him. 

“Don’t do that again. Don’t scare me like that. Do you know how scared I was when you coded in the ambulance? And when you bled out in my hands. You can’t do that again.”, she said.

“Who was it that once told me, it’s part of the job?”, he asked, trying to laugh but wincing in pain after.

“This isn’t funny, Aaron. I really didn’t know if you were going to be okay... Watching him shoot you like that and I wasn’t able to stop him...”, she said, shaking her head, looking down.

“I’m sorry... please don’t cry.”, he said, gulping again. She reached over for a cup of water on his table and stood up to bring the straw to his mouth. She set it down and ran her hand over his hair, down his head as she sat back down. 

“How long are you in here for?”, she asked. 

“Only a few days. The doctor said 3-4 but I have to take it easy for the next couple months.”, he said, rolling his eyes.

“ _As you should_.”, she told him.

He grabbed her hand again and kissed it, laying it on his chest. She could feel his heart beating. “Do you feel that? I’m still alive. You kept me from bleeding out, you called the medics, you helped save me, okay? I’m still here. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”, he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

This time, she laughed a bit, letting another tear fall down her face. He wiped it off and stared in her eyes. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.”, he said, smiling.

She leaned up to kiss him. When she pulled back, she smiled and looked him deep in the eyes, stroking his face and running her fingers through his hair. 

“Shouldn’t you be with the team back at the station?”, he asked.

“They already caught the unsub. It’s all just paperwork now.”, she said. “I’m fine right here.”, she smiled.

“I love you, Emily Prentiss.”, he said.

“I know...”, she sniffled. “I love you too.”

  
  



	25. The Jacket

**Chapter 25**

* * *

  
  


Three days had passed since Hotch was shot. Everyone else, except for Emily, had headed back home for a new case in Virginia. She had decided to be the one to stay back with him until he was well enough to fly.

He was finally being released from the hospital. Emily was walking back to his room from the cafeteria when she saw him through the window, getting out of the bed on his own. She walked in fast and set her coffee down. 

“Aaron! What are you doing? You know you’re supposed to have somebody help you.”, she scolded him.

“I can stand up on my own, Emily. Just hand me my clothes over there.”, he pointed.

“You, sit back down.”, she told him. He sighed as he sat back down on the edge of the bed. She walked over to grab his bag with his clothes in it that she brought from the hotel. He reached for them as she walked to the door and locked it.

“What are you doing?”, he asked.

“You have to get dressed and you can’t do it on your own, so.”, she said, kneeling down and helping him put his pants on.

“Emily, I don’t need help with this.”, he said, irritated. Once his pants were up she stood up and glared at him.

“Shut up. Take the gown off.”, she said.

He took it off, revealing the other bandage she had yet to see, on his shoulder. She stared at it for a moment before she placed her hand above it and kissed his chest next to it, before bringing her hand to his face and kissing his cheek. She smiled at him and he brought his hand to her side. He pulled her in for a hug with his other arm, being careful not to touch the wound on his shoulder. 

She pulled back and held his shirt up, helping him slide it on and button it up. They tucked it into his pants and she did the buckle for him. She helped him with his socks and shoes. She didn’t bring his suit jacket, seeing as they were only heading home, or a tie because of the wound on his neck. She’d left two buttons undone at the top of his shirt so it wasn’t too tight. 

“Okay, am I ready now?”, he asked, impatiently.

“Yes. You _are_.”, she said with a smile, in which he returned. She helped him up, grabbed his bag, and they walked out together. 

She parked the SUV, close to the exit of the hospital and she helped him in the passenger side. She got in the driver's side and started the car. They drove to the jet and got on. She sat down next to him, seeing as it was only them flying. 

“So.”, Emily started. “Are you going to take some time off like the doctor _told_ you to?”, she asked.

“As much as I don’t want to, Haley would probably kill me if I didn’t. She’d do a better job than that unsub did.”, he chuckled. She was about to swat him for that but didn’t want to hurt him. 

“Stop it! Don’t say that!”, she said.

He continued to laugh and looked over at her. She was not amused though.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to find some humor in it, since I _did_ survive and all.”, he smiled but she just glared at him and faced forward. “Emily...”, he laughed, placing his hand on her thigh and bringing his tone back to calm. “I’m sorry. I know it must’ve been scary for you. You’re right, it’s not funny.”, he said.

She looked over at him. “What if you died? I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself, knowing it was my fault.”, she said.

“Emily... what happened, wasn’t your fault. Don’t ever think that. You did everything right.”, he said, rubbing her leg. 

“No. He knocked the gun out of my hand, he knocked me to the ground. I should’ve been able to fight back more and subdue him. If I did, you never would’ve been shot.”, she said.

“This happens. And I’m _fine_. The only person who is at fault, is him. Not you, not me, not the rest of the team.”, he told her, looking in her eyes, bringing his hand from her thigh, to tuck the hair behind her ear. He brought it back down to his lap and they both leaned back, closing their eyes, and fell asleep. They didn’t wake up till the jet landed.

Once they got in the car, her phone rang. 

She looked at Hotch before she started the car.

“Hey, Derek. What’s up?”, she said.

“Hey, did you just land?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I just got in the car. I’m here with Hotch. Is there a case?”, she asked.

Even though Hotch knew about Derek and Emily, Derek didn’t know that. She had to act that way so Derek wouldn’t think something is going on.

“Oh... um I was just seeing when you were gonna be home. Did you still want me to stay the night?”, he asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good, just leave the files on my desk.”, she said.

“Talking in code, got it. Alright, text me when you’re on your way back to your place.”, he said.

“Got it, see you later, thanks.”, she said.

Hotch looked over at her. “Wow, think he bought it?”, he chuckled.

“I hope so.”, she said, taking in a deep breath. She started the car and drove Hotch home. Once they were a block up, she said to him, “Listen, I don’t want you in the office for a while, okay? You need to rest and don’t give Haley hell for trying to help you out with anything. We’ll talk later. We’ll _have that talk_... later. Just... get better first.”, she said.

They pulled up in front of his house. 

“Yeah, alright. Thank you. For the ride, for sticking by me... for saving my life. You really are an amazing woman.”, he said. She smiled and by the look that he gave her, she knew there was more that he wanted to say but knew he shouldn’t right then and she returned the gaze, letting him know it was mutual. He got out and she watched him walk up and go inside.

Emily started driving to her apartment and called Derek.

“Hey, you on your way?”, he asked. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there in about 10.”, she said.

“Great. I picked up a bottle of red for us. I know how long of a day you’ve probably had. We can go straight to sleep too if you want, it’s pretty late.”, he said.

“No, no. A bottle of wine sounds great. Bring a few outfits over too.”, she said.

“Sounds good, I’ll head out in a sec.”, he said.

“Alright, see you soon.”, she hung up. 

Emily got to her apartment and walked inside. Right as she set her bag down, there was a knock at the door. She went to open it and let Derek in.

“Hey.”, he said, holding a bottle of wine and a bag with clothes in it. He set his things down and walked over to her and she brought her arms to his neck and hugged him tight. “I was so worried about you.”, he said in her ear. He heard her sniffling, she had just started crying again.

“I know. I wanted to be able to give you a hug. I’m so sorry.”, she cried.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just so glad you’re okay.”, he said. She nodded against his shoulder and held on even tighter. 

Deep down, she was actually apologizing about what she had done with Hotch but couldn’t admit to that.

He pulled back and looked at her face. 

“Is it feeling any better?”, he asked.

“Yeah, it doesn’t hurt too bad. I’m getting the stitches out in a couple days. It should be fine.”, she said, wiping a few tears away.

“Good.”, he said and placed a kiss on her lips.

“What do you say we open this bottle and head upstairs? Put your clothes away?”, she said.

“I’d like that very much, princess.”, he smiled.

“Go ahead and go upstairs. Pick out any drawer you want. I’ll pour us a couple glasses.”, she said.

He headed upstairs and she grabbed two wine glasses, pouring the red in each one. As she was walking upstairs, she called to him, “Alright, I know it’s late and all but maybe after this, we could watch a-“, she stopped once she walked in her room. 

Derek stood there holding a blue cargo jacket in his hand and turned to face her. 

Her mouth hung open a bit and all the color drained from her face. 

It was Hotch’s jacket from their first time getting together in L.A. from that rainy night they went to the diner. From the beach they went to the next night. The one he had told her to keep. Derek looked at Emily with a mix of confusion and anger but obviously hurt. She stared at him with the glasses in her hand. 

“Whose jacket is this?”, he asked.

She paused, having no idea what to say. 

“ _Emily? Whose jacket is this?_ ”, he asked again. “Because it’s definitely a man’s. And it most certainly isn’t mine. I’ve never seen you wear it before.”, he said, looking at it again, “Wait... this is the one you were wearing when we were in L.A. You said Hotch let you wear it while you were outside. You never gave it back to him...?”, he asked.

“I- I guess I forgot...”, she stuttered. She set their glasses down on the dresser and walked closer to him.

“Emily, why have you held onto this? Why do you even _have_ it? Didn’t he ask for it back? ... Why aren’t you saying anything...”, he started to raise his voice.

“Remember that night I asked you on the jet if there was anything going on between you two?”, he asked.

“Yes, and I told you, absolutely not! There is _nothing_ going on between us.”, she tried to sound convincing.

“Why did he lend you his jacket...”, he sounded hurt.

“Derek, I told you. It was cold that night, I don’t know. He just did... You have nothing to worry about.”, she said.

He scoffed and looked straight at her and paused before speaking again. 

“What am I to you? Just some cover? Are you screwing Hotch on the side? Or are you just screwing _me_ on the side?”, he asked.

“ _Excuse me?!_ ”, she said.

“Emily, you’ve been acting _real_ strange when it comes to Hotch. You have for a long time now.”, he started raising his voice more.

“What do you mean?!”, she said.

“I _mean_ , talking with him in the middle of the night and coming back inside wearing his jacket, then him asking you to ride with him back to the jet randomly that night after dinner. You guys were outside for a _long_ time when he went to take a phone call and you went to grab your own jacket. Which... I guess you didn’t need, since you had his! Oh! And then there was that huge fight between you two that day in his office. Who the hell does that with their boss! The weird phone call from him in the middle of the night that you had lied to me about at first! Avoiding eye contact and talking with each other! Weird tension between you two. It’s all making sense now! You were crying the other day in the hospital after he was shot. I thought it was just because you were hurt but you never cry from that... you were so willing to stay back with him that day and till he was released from the hospital. What is _that?!_ God... is there something else I’m missing in there?! Have you slept with him _too?!_ ”, he yelled.

Tears came back to her. “Screw you! How could you even say that?”, she yelled. “I’ve had my issues and I haven’t always been fair to you like the other morning I pushed you away and I know I didn’t want to label us for a while but I wouldn’t do any of that stuff! There’s nothing going on between me and Hotch and the fact that you would accuse me of that...”, she said.

“Can you _blame_ me?!”, he yelled, holding up the jacket in his hand before throwing it on the ground. She just stared at him with a tear rolling down her face. “You know what? I don’t need a drawer. I think I’m just gonna go home. Back to my _own_ place.”, he said.

“No, Derek. Please. Please don’t go.”, she said, trying to hold him but he put his hands up and backed away.

“No, Emily. You may be a good liar, but I’m also a profiler and I’m not stupid.”, he said.

“Derek, stop!”, she yelled after him as he grabbed his stuff and walked downstairs and out of her apartment. Once she heard the door close, she sat down on the floor by her bed and grabbed Hotch’s jacket. She brought her knees to her chest and held the jacket close to her and started crying. She wanted to call him but knew he was with his family and needed rest anyways. 

Emily sat there crying for a half hour when her phone rang. Without even looking, she grabbed it from her back pocket and answered it. 

“Prentiss.”, she said.

“Emily? What’s wrong?”, Hotch said on the other line.

She pulled the phone away and saw it was Hotch.

“Aaron.”, she sniffled, trying to collect herself. “Why aren’t you asleep?”, she asked.

“Well, I’m in bed. Why are you crying?”, he said.

“Where’s Haley?”, she asked.

“Jack woke up. He’s not feeling too good, she’s just trying to calm him and put him back down. Why are you crying?”, he asked again.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”, she said.

“Emily... _why are you crying?_ ”, he repeated. 

She knew he wasn’t going to give up.

She sighed, “Derek found your jacket in my drawer.”, she said.

“Oh... what happened?”, he asked.

“ _Well_... he started yelling, talking about how there’s something suspicious going on between us, practically _accused_ me of sleeping with you and stormed out. So... I don’t know what it means or what really happened.”, she said. 

“Well, he’s not wrong...”, Hotch said.

“Yeah, I know he’s not wrong. That’s the issue. I tried to tell him there was nothing going on but he didn’t believe me, I guess. I’m sorry, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it. This isn’t the kind of thing to talk about with you. Especially right now.”, she said.

“It’s okay. It involves me, and it’s hurting you. If either of those are the case with something, of course you should talk to me about it.”, he said. He waited for her to speak after a minute.

“What do I do?”, she asked.

“Give him some space. Try talking to him tomorrow... I’m sorry... I messed a lot of things up.”, he said.

“No, you didn’t. I need to work this out on my own. This isn’t on you.”, she said.

All of a sudden Hotch’s tone changed to professional.

“Oh, uh- Emily, I’ll have to call you later. Keep me updated on the cases for the rest of the week till I’m back?”, he asked. 

“Is Haley there now?”, she asked.

“Yeah, thank you.”, he said.

“Oh, gotcha... Have a goodnight...”, she said, disappointed.

“You too.”, he hung up fast.

Emily set her phone down, hugged her knees and cried some more until she was exhausted. 

She took a shower and got ready for bed. She checked her phone one more time to see if Derek had messaged her at all but he hadn’t. 

She had one text from Hotch, saying, 

“ _I’m sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow_.”

She stared at it and decided not to reply till she spoke to him the next day.

She pulled the sheets back and got in bed and cried herself to sleep.


	26. Work From Home

**Chapter 26**

* * *

Over a month had passed since Hotch and Emily got home and Derek stormed out of her apartment.

Emily had tried talking to him multiple times but he constantly ignored her phone calls and texts. When she finally got him alone in person, they only spoke for a few minutes. He’d told her he wanted to take a break and ignored her after. 

If people picked up on the tension between them, they weren’t saying anything. Too much was going on. Gideon had just left, Reid was a mess as a result of it, Hotch still hadn’t come back yet even though he was supposed to. Emily felt all alone and didn’t know what to do. 

She’d been texting with Hotch everyday, checking in and talking on the phone whenever they had a moment alone.

She missed him at work and just in general. She didn’t know when he was coming back.

It was a Monday morning and she got to work. She’d hoped it would be a fresh start to the week. Right when she got to work, Derek was nice enough to say hey to her but that was it. 

Not even 20 minutes into the day, Emily’s phone rang. It was from Hotch. 

She stood up from her desk and walked up the stairs to the catwalk, towards the bathroom. Once nobody could hear her, she stopped and picked it up.

“Hey.”, she said sweetly. “How are you feeling?”

“Emily, can you please come over?”, he asked.

“ _What?_ ”, she asked, confused.

“Haley won’t let me work ever since the doctor told her I can’t go in yet but I need something to do. She’s gone all day with Jack at the park and spending time with her sister. Can you come by and bring some case files for me please?”, he begged.

“Aaron...”, she started.

“Emily...”, he mocked her. “I swear, I’m totally fine to do work. I won’t even get up and move around. Just come over with some case files you’re working on right now.”, he said.

“What are the others going to think? I’m not allowed to just _leave_.”, she said.

“I’m your boss. And I’m telling you to come over here and bring me some work. That’s an order, if that helps.”, he said. She giggled and heard him laugh through the phone too. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll gather some stuff together now and head over.”, she said.

“Great, thank you, you’re the best, truly amazing!”, he said.

She laughed again, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in 30.”, she hung up. She went back down to her desk and packed some things up to leave.

“Where you goin’?”, Derek asked.

“Uh... Hotch wants me to bring some files by his place. He’s going a bit stir crazy ever since the doctor said it’d be another week or so till he can come back completely.”, she said.

“Oh.”, Derek said, raising his eyebrows.

She rolled her lips in and looked down, feeling bad about telling him she was going to see _Hotch_. 

Instead of replying, she just walked out and got on the elevator. Once she got to her car, she texted Hotch to let him know she was on her way.

She drove to his house and parked out front, reserving the driveway for Haley if she came back. She grabbed her bag with all the files in it and walked up to the door and knocked. She waited a while and almost knocked again but Hotch opened the door before she could.

“Hey.”, he said with a huge smile on his face, letting her inside and closing the door behind her.

“Hey, yourself. You’re dripping wet. What-“, she said, looking confused.

“Yeah, I just got out of the shower. I didn’t think you’d be here so soon. I didn’t exactly finish drying off.”, he laughed.

“Oh, go dry off. Do you need help up the stairs or...?”, she asked.

“No, no, I got it. Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yeah, really.”, she said.

“Alright, um, go ahead and sit down on the couch, you can pull the work out. I’ll be right back.”, he said, walking upstairs.

She sat down and got all the files, spread out on the table. Hotch was back downstairs less than five minutes later.

“Hey, sorry about that.”, he said walking over to the couch, sitting next to her. She looked over at him.

“I’ve seen you wear pajamas before but it’s totally different, knowing you’re wearing them all day everyday.”, she chuckled. “How does it feel to just be lounging around all day?”, she asked.

“Ah not great. I mean, I love being able to spend more time with Jack but I don’t even get to that much since I’m practically on bed rest. It’s ridiculous. I was shot in my _neck and shoulder._ Not my _leg or abdomen_. I can walk just fine.”, he said.

“Uh huh. Sure.”, she said, raising an eyebrow.He smiled and laughed in response to that.

“Let me get you some water.”, he said, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

“Aaron, you’re really bad at staying off your feet, you know that, right?”, she said, walking after him.

“I’m just getting you a bottle of water.”, he said, opening the fridge and handing it to her. She took it and glared at him, leaning against the counter. 

“I’m glad you’re doing better.”, she said.

“ _A lot_ better. I see your cut is healed.”, he said, bringing his hand to her forehead. 

“Yeah, it’s all better. They said it should barely leave a scar, if it even does, it’ll be very faint.”, she said.

“Good.”, he smiled. He stared at her and stepped close, grabbing her with his right side and bringing her into him. He wrapped his arm around her as she held onto him tight, hugging his torso. “I really missed you, Em.”, he said.

“I missed you too.”, she said, pressed against his chest.

“You’re not going to cry, are you?”, he asked.

“No, you don’t like it when I do that. I don’t want to upset you any more.”, she said, making them both laugh.

“ _Good_ , because I like seeing you _smile_.”, he said.

“Well, good thing I am now because I haven’t for a while.”, she said. 

He pulled back to look at her. “Are you and Derek still not talking?”, he asked. 

“Barely... he said he wants to take a break... think things over... whatever that means. He avoids me at all costs even at work unless we’re talking about a case. I told him from the very beginning, this is why I didn’t want to start a relationship with him.”, she sighed. “Also... because of _you. You_ were in my life.”, she said, looking down.

“Oh... I see...”, he said, quietly. “Emily, I don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you back from things. I want you to be happy...”, he said, bringing her chin up.

“It’s not _you_ that’s holding me back. It’s my _feelings_ for you that are. You can’t control that.”, she said.

He stared at her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know.”, he said, bringing her back in for one more hug. 

He pulled away and looked at her. “Let’s go get some work done, okay?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she smiled. They went back to the couch and coffee table and did some more work.

  
  


After five hours, Hotch winced and pulled his arm back. Emily looked over at him, concerned.

“Aaron...”, she looked from his shoulder to his eyes. “Okay, we’re done for the day. You need to rest.”, she said, putting things away. 

“No, I’m fine.”, he said. She grabbed some photos of the case from him.

“Emily, I’m fine, just give it - ahhh.”, he winced again, in pain.

“Yeah, you _sound_ fine.”, she said, sarcastically. 

“Alright, alright.”, he said, putting his hand up and bringing it to his shoulder. 

He tried standing up but Emily moved over and helped him.

“Yeah, you’re going back up to bed. Don’t argue with me on this.”, she said.

He rolled his eyes and she said, “I saw that.”

He looked over at her and smiled as she walked him upstairs. They got to his bed and she helped him under the covers.

“Alright, get some rest and I’ll check in with you later, okay?”, she said, starting to walk away. He grabbed her arm.

“Don’t leave yet.”, he said.

“Wha- Aaron, what am I supposed to do? You need _rest_.”, she said.

“I need _company_. I can still rest with company being here.”, he said, looking up at her with pleading eyes.

“Ughhh alright, fine. You win. What can I do? Do you need me to grab you a drink or make you some food?”, she asked.

“Just stay here with me.”, he said.

She sighed, “Fine.”, she pulled up a chair next to the bed. She knew that if it wasn’t his and his wife’s bed, she would get in with him and hold him until he fell asleep in her arms.

But this wasn’t her bed, this wasn’t at the hotel, she couldn’t do a lot of the same things as she had before. She was trying not to do anything at all, now that most things were back to normal. She realized they haven’t had the talk yet that they were going to when they got back home. The talk about what to do with them now, how to stop, how to handle being around each other without letting it go too far anymore.

She sat down and placed her hands in her lap. “So... what? You want me to read you a bedtime story or...?”, she joked but showing no amusement.

He laughed and then hissed at the pain, grabbing his shoulder again. She stood up and leaned over to it.

“Aaron, do you need to change your gauze?”, she asked.

“Maybe...?”, he said, looking up at her, squinting his eyes, afraid of her response.

“Where is it?”, she said.

“Em, I can get it, just let me-“, he started. She lightly pushed him back down.

“No, you’re staying there. Where are the wraps and all the stuff for cleaning it?”, she asked.

He pointed with his good arm, “If you go in the bathroom there, it should all be in the medicine cabinet.”

She walked in and grabbed some cleaning solution, cotton balls, gauze, and tape. She sat on the edge of the bed with the supplies she had just grabbed, placing it next to her. She faced him and looked at his shirt.

“Take your shirt off.”, she said.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, “Really, Emily, I can do this on my own.”

“Take it off, Aaron.”, she rolled her eyes.

He lifted his shirt up but was struggling so she helped him lift it over his head. Once it was off, she tried hard not to stare at his bare chest. She wanted to run her fingers down the cut edges of his abs. She could remember the last time she did, when they were in bed in the hotel room the night before he was shot. The night that she ended up in his arms when they fell asleep. 

Suddenly, she became sad and shook her head to get all the thoughts out as she reached for the gauze on his shoulder to peel it off. He cringed when she took it off.

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“No, it’s fine. It just hurts a bit itself. You’re not causing it.”, he said.

She smiled softly and laid the bandage off to the side as she grabbed some cotton balls and cleaning solution.

“Okay, don’t hate me but this is going to feel a bit uncomfortable as you probably know by now.”, she said.

He nodded his head, ready to get it over with. He hissed at the pain again as she cleaned the wound. 

“I’m sorry...”, she apologized. 

“It’s okay, just keep going.”, he said when she stopped.

Once she was done, she blew on it and he shivered, feeling the cold air from her breath on his skin. She placed new gauze on it and taped it up.

“There. All better. See how easy it is to just let someone do something for you?”, she snarked, as she got up to put everything back and throw away the trash.

She came back to his side and sat down on the edge of the bed again. She touched his chest and felt his heart beating and closed her eyes, breathing in deep. He took his hand and touched hers, holding it in place. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

“How’s the one on your neck?”, she asked him.

“It doesn’t hurt at all... Nothing does right now...”, he said, staring deep in her eyes. 

She rolled her lips in and brought her hand up to his face. “You feel better?”, she asked.

“Much.”, he replied.

They stared at each other for a moment until her phone rang, snapping them both out of it. She reached in her back pocket and saw that it was Derek. She looked back at Hotch.

“I gotta take this, I’ll be right back. Don’t try and move.”, she said. She walked downstairs and took the call.

“Hey, everything alright?”, she asked.

“Everything’s fine. I was just wondering if you were coming back to work today.”, Derek said.

“Oh. God, what time is it?”, she asked, looking at her watch. 

“Almost 3:00... you’ve been over there for close to six hours...”, he said.

“Wow, okay, I’ll head back soon. I’ll let you know when I do, alright?”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he hung up. 

“Derek?”, she asked, looking at her phone and noticing he wasn’t on the line anymore.She walked back upstairs, into Hotch’s room and sighed.

He cocked his head at her. “Who was it?”, he asked.

“Who do you _think?_ ”, she said, sitting down in the chair.

“Ah. You know, if he can’t be professional, that’s an issue...”, he said.

“Aaron, please don’t get involved. He does his job, I do mine, it’s fine.”, she said.

“Okay, but if it gets in the way of his work, I can’t ignore that...”, he said.

“I know. That’s why I hope it doesn’t.”, she said, sighing.

“Em... thank you for coming over. I know it probably wasn’t your first choice of things to do today but it really helped.”, he smiled softly. 

“I really missed you. Of course I was going to come over. Also, it was an _order_.”, she said, laughing, him joining in.

“Yeah, well, I’d be lying if I said it was _just_ because of work that I wanted you to come over.”, he said, looking at her sweetly.

“Well, I’m glad you asked me to come, regardless. And I’m glad I could help bring _some_ form of comfort to you.”, she said.

“You always do.”, he told her. She wanted to tell him they should have the talk now but chickened out. 

“You know, I should go now. Everyone is probably getting pretty curious about why I’ve been here so long. But I’ll text you tonight, call me if you need anything else, okay?”, she said, getting up and setting the chair off to the side. She walked back over to him and placed her hand on his face and stroked it.

“I miss you at work. Please get better so you can come back already.”, she smiled.

“I’ll try my best.”, he said, smiling right back.

She let go of his face and started walking out and he got out of bed going after her. Before she got to the stairs, he reached for her arm. She turned around.

“What are you doing? Get back in bed.”, she said.

“Let me walk you out. I have to lock up anyways.”, he said. 

“Alright but promise me that you’ll get back in bed and stay there after I leave.”, she said, walking down the stairs.

“I Promise.”, he said.

They reached the living room and grabbed her bag. She walked to the door and faced him. “Please get better, okay?”, she said.

“I will.”, he responded, pulling her in for a hug.

She wrapped her arms around his bare torso and pressed her head against his chest. With one arm holding her close to him, he pressed a kiss on her head.

“Don’t let this all get to you, Em. I know how strong you are, okay?”, he said.

She nodded against his chest. 

“Okay, now go head back and text me when you’re there. I’ll call you at some point to check in, alright?”, he said.

She pulled back and looked at him with a smile.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”, she said, walking out the door. 

“Drive safe.”, he said.

She got in her car and drove back to the BAU, dreading having to see Derek.


	27. "I Want You On That Plane With Me"

**Chapter 27**

* * *

  
  


After another month had passed by; Hotch was back at work and Derek was still barely speaking to Emily. She’d invited Derek over multiple times to talk and hangout but he constantly declined. 

She finally gave up for the time being and gave him space for a while.

Strauss has been trying to get Hotch to step down as Unit Chief or transfer to another field but he kept pushing back. She’d called in Emily to ask her to bring any information back to her to help her do that. Emily kept refusing and eventually decided to transfer to another field herself. 

She walked into his office the next Monday morning. Strauss was in there, talking with him about transferring him and giving him time off until he decided if we would accept that. 

Emily opened the door and stepped in.

“Sorry to interrupt but, I would just like to let you know, Sir, I’ve put in my papers for my resignation. Don’t try and stop me, Garcia already tried.”, she laughed. “I’ll be transferring to another field... it’s good to have you back.”, she said, turning around to look at Strauss. “Chief.”, she nodded. “Once again, sorry for the interruption.”, she eyed Hotch, walking out.

Emily left her badge and gun on her desk, packed up her stuff and left work to go home. She couldn’t believe she’d really done that. 

_Had she done it for Hotch? Were things getting too messy for her? Was the BAU just not right for her?_ She wondered.

Regardless, she was done there and needed to just leave. She got in her car and drove home.

Meanwhile, Strauss sent Hotch home when the rest of the team got a case and headed to Milwaukee.He got home and spent time with Haley and Jack, still upset about Emily’s decision she had made earlier that day.

Derek called him later and he’d had files from the case they were working on, sent over to Hotch. Haley walked over to him on the couch and they argued about him not being present even when he had a break.

Later that day, he got another call from the team and knew he needed to go out and help them, even if it meant going against Strauss’ orders.

“So that’s it?! You’re just packing up and going out to Wisconsin? Aaron, you’re never home, you need to take this other job. It’ll be much better for all of us. You need to be here with your family!”, Haley said, as he was packing his go bag and getting changed to leave.

“And I will be. After this case is done.”, he said.

“No, Aaron! I’m sick and tired of this!”, she yelled.

“I’m sorry, but I really have to go.”, he said.

“Be sure to give your son a kiss on the way out.”, she snarked, as he walked past her and left.

Hotch knew he needed one more thing before he left. He drove to Emily’s apartment to try and convince her to come with him.

Once he arrived, he knocked on the door and waited for her to open it.

On the other side, she looked out the peephole and sighed, opening the door for him. He walked straight in and went towards the kitchen as she followed him.

“Aaron, what are you doing here? If you’re going to try and convince me to stay, don’t. I already sent the papers in for the transfer.”, she said.

“I checked and it hasn’t gone through yet. I need your help though.”, he said, standing further away from her than he’d like.

“And what would that be?”, she asked.

“The team is working a case in Milwaukee and needs us.”, he said.

“I can’t go, you know that. It’s not a good idea for a lot of reasons. Besides, I already quit.”, she said.

He walked towards her and stood just inches away from her, looking her in the eyes. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Em, this has nothing to do with us. I need you to come with me for this case.”, he said. She looked down and didn’t speak. “I know Strauss has been asking you for dirt on me and I know that instead of telling her anything, you quit. I don’t know exactly why but I _do_ know that you’re an amazing agent and the team needs our help.”, he said, bringing her chin up to look at him.

“Listen, if your go-bag isn’t packed and ready, here, I’ll leave. But if it is, I want you on that plane with me. Come with me. I don’t want you to quit and I’ve put in for a transfer too but you shouldn’t have to. Just work this case and if you don’t change your mind, fine. But just this last one. _Please_.”, he said, curling her hair behind her ear and cocking his head.

“I already turned in my badge and gun.”, she said. 

“That’s just hardware.”, he told her with a slight smile. 

“Fine... _fine_. I’ll go.”, she said, heading for upstairs as he stayed down in the kitchen. “You can come up if you want...”, she said.

He followed behind her as they walked upstairs to her room.

“Why are you really here?”, she asked him, walking over to her bed, grabbing the bag and a new outfit to change into before they left. 

“I told you, I need you on the case with me.”, he said.

She looked back at him and walked towards him. She opened her arms and latched on to his body, as he held her tight. 

“Okay... also, I needed to see you and make sure you were alright. But I _did_ need you to come with me too.”, he said.

She squeezed him tight and let go, bringing her hand to his neck, where he was shot. She gently traced his neck.

“How is it?”, she asked.

He took her hand and held it. “It’s _fine_.”, he said. “Now get changed, we can talk in the car and on the jet.”, he said. 

She picked up her outfit and looked back at him. “I’m just gonna change in the bathroom...”, she said, walking into it.

He put his hand up. “Yeah, no worries. Totally get it.”, he said, awkwardly.

She changed into black dress pants and her black boots with a long sleeve, low cut pink t-shirt. She left her hair with the curls and makeup the way they were already and walked out. 

“Wow.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked, looking up and down.

“I just don’t think I’ve seen you wear that color before... it really brings out your complexion and the dark shade of your hair.”, he said, smiling at her. “I’m sorry... that-“, he started and looked down. 

She blushed and smiled, walking towards him and lightly tugged on his tie. “Don’t worry. This red tie is one of my favorites on _you_.”, she said, showing her dimples. 

He looked back up at her and a corner of his lip turned up. “I personally like the blue more but I guess the red is alright too.”, he chuckled. 

They stared at each other for a moment before she patted his chest and picked up her bag. “Okay, I’m ready.”, she said, taking a deep breath.

“Let’s go.”, he said.

Once they got on the jet, they talked over the case for a while. When they finished going over everything, she got up to grab a water for them both. When she came back, she sat down and kicked her feet up on the seat across from her, next to the window. She handed him the bottle of water and they talked for a bit, mainly about his recovery, her and Derek, work in general, more about their transfers.

He got up to go to the bathroom after a bit and when he came back, he scooted all the way to the window seat on his side. He picked up her feet and rested them in his lap and laid his arms across her legs.

They looked at each other as they both smiled and she leaned her head back, still staring at him. They stayed that way till the jet landed and they headed to the station. 

When they got there, everyone was happy to see them except for Strauss, who assured them that they would be having a talk when they got back to Quantico.

Derek didn’t say much but sat next to Emily and she smiled at him. He looked at her and said, “I’m glad you’re here.”, putting his hand on her thigh, under the table. 

“I’m glad to see you.”, she said back. She was surprised when he smiled at her. She touched his hand on her thigh and they brought them back up to do their work.

After spending hours of tracking down the unsub, they finally got an address and headed to the house. 

“We can’t go in yet.”, Strauss said.

“There’s a victim inside, we have to.”, Hotch told her.

“Not without probable cause, not yet.”, she said. 

Emily walked up to them. “I can. Technically, I’m just a civilian right now.”, she said.

“Prentiss, no.”, Hotch shook his head.

“I can press this signal for you guys to come in when I find her. It’s really the only choice we have. We don’t have a lot of time.”, she said.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t like the idea of you going in alone, unarmed.”, he said.

She grabbed a gun and put it in the back of her pants. “I won’t be. Come on, this is the only option.”, she said.

Hotch looked over at Strauss. “If this fails, it’s on both of you, you can forget about staying at the BAU, am I clear?”, she said.

“Yes.”, Emily said. She looked back at Hotch and could see the concern in his eyes. She walked up to the house and knocked.

Once she was inside, she got down to the basement with her gun drawn. All of a sudden the unsub came out of nowhere and hit her in the head with a piece of wood. She fell to the ground and once again, found herself in the same situation as a few months ago in that warehouse, with her gun pointed at her.

She hit the button on the waistband of her pants and the whole team came busting in and arrested the unsub and helped the victim down from where she was tied up.

Hotch ran over to Emily and helped her up. “Are you alright?”, he asked, trying to stay as calm as possible.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”, she said. Once she stood up, she started to fall over, feeling dizzy. Hotch caught her and helped her out of the house.

Once they got outside, he walked her over to the back of an ambulance and sat her down. He wanted to sit with her and hold her but stood by her side instead. 

When Strauss started to walk over, he said, “Prentiss, you probably have a concussion. Please let the medics check you out.”, he said, giving her a nod and walking off to the side with Strauss. 

While thinking of Emily, he and Strauss spoke and he convinced her to let both of them come back and stay at the BAU.

Once everything was all settled and taken care of, everyone got on the jet and flew back home. 

Emily got back to her apartment and headed to bed. Right as she laid down, Derek called her and she picked it up immediately.

“Hey.”, she said, calmly.

“Hey. I wanted to check on you, make sure you got home safe and were alright.”, he said.

“Yeah... I’m alright. How are you? I’ve missed you...”, she said.

“I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass the past couple months. I didn’t know how to react and I guess I still don’t but, I hate not talking to you.”, he said.

“I know... me too.”, she said.

“Well, maybe you’d wanna get together tomorrow night? Go get some dinner or something?”, he asked.

“I’d like that. A lot. Maybe we could talk about everything.”, she said.

“Sure, that sounds good.”, he replied.

“Great. And Derek, I just wanna-“, she started but she got another call, and looked at it. Hotch was trying to reach her. “You know what? I’ll just save it for tomorrow night. I’m getting another call, can I text you after?”, she asked.

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”, he said.

“Alright, have a goodnight.”, she said and hung up as she answered Hotch’s phone call. “Hey, you get home alright?”, she asked. 

“They’re gone.”, he said, flat.

“What? Who’s gone?”, she asked.

“Haley and Jack. She left. She took all their clothes and everything. She just left.”, he said.

“Whoa, whoa... what happened?”, she said, sitting up.

“I don’t know. I just got home and they weren’t here. Neither was any of their stuff.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she sighed.

“Will you come over?”, she heard his voice crack.

“I’ll get dressed now.”, she said, hanging up.


	28. And So It Begins...

  
  


**Chapter 28**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  


* * *

  
  


Hotch stood in the middle of his living room still, with his hand to his forehead. 

He hadn’t moved from that spot since he got off the phone with Emily.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the front door. He snapped out of the state of mind he was in and walked over to it. He opened it and stared at Emily. 

She had no makeup on and her hair was tied back into a ponytail with a strand of hair on each side of her face hanging down at the front and the bandage on her forehead from being hit earlier. 

It was her natural hair that he loved. It was wavy, almost curly. He’d only seen it and her without makeup, once before, that night in the hotel in the lobby when they both had to grab toiletries and towels from the front desk.

This time, she wasn’t wearing pajamas. She was wearing a black tank top and skinny jeans with her black converse. He loved how she could pull off any outfit. 

“Aaron?”, she asked.

He shook his head. “Sorry, come in.”, he said, opening the door wider, letting her walk in.

Once he closed the door, she walked up to him and took his suit jacket off for him and laid it on the back of the couch.

She came back to him and grabbed his hands, dragging him over to sit down on it. 

“What happened?”, she asked, stroking his hands.

“I don’t know... We got into a big fight earlier about me going to Milwaukee but I didn’t think she would just pack up and leave... It’s been over for a while. We aren’t in love anymore; I know that... but for her to just take Jack and leave without even writing a note...”, he said, looking down.

“Do you know where they are?”, she asked, looking down, trying to reach his eyes.

“I called her multiple times and she finally answered. She said they were at her sister’s house. They’re going to stay there until she finds a more... permanent living situation or waits till I move out...”, he said.

She brought a hand up to his neck and stroked it, while the other one went to his shoulder. “Aaron... I’m so sorry... what can I do?”, she asked.

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes that hadn’t come out yet. “Stay with me...”, he whispered.

She’d never seen him cry before and rolled her lips in, looking at him with sad eyes. She grabbed his head and shoulder, bringing him to lean into her chest and stroked his hair. He wrapped an arm around her back and hugged her side with his other.

“Of course.”, she whispered, placing a kiss on his neck. “I’ll stay however long you want me to.”, she said.

She felt a tear drop on her chest and she wiped it off and brought her hand back to his hair. She held him there, close to 20 minutes. Once she could feel his eyes closing, she said, “I think you should go to bed now. Come on, I’ll help you up.”

He lifted his head from her chest and stood up at the same time that she did. 

They walked upstairs and went in his room. He immediately yet slowly, took his shoes, socks, and tie off, tossing it on the ground, not caring about how nice it was. Next, he unbuckled his pants and unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it to the side. Finally, he pulled his pants down and threw them on the ground, leaving him in only his boxers.

Emily just stared at him. It’s not like she hadn’t seen him like that before. She’d even seen him completely naked but for some reason, now, it felt awkward. 

Haley had taken the sheets off the bed when doing the laundry earlier that day, which actually felt like it was perfect, seeing as how Emily would be sleeping in the bed with him.

He went to the closet in the hall and grabbed new sheets and pillowcases and she helped him put them on.

He got in bed once they were done, on Haley’s side, so Emily could take his. 

She stood there, watching him get under the covers.

“I’m sorry, does this make you uncomfortable...?”, he asked.

“What? No.”, she said, taking her shoes off and getting in the bed with him. 

“You know, Em... I don’t care if you take your jeans off. I mean, _I’m_ only in my boxers... But I can totally put pants and a shirt on if it’s weird for you.”, he said.

“Aaron, I’ve slept next to you when you had _no_ clothes on. You’re fine.”, she said, getting up and taking her jeans off, setting them on the ground and reaching under and up her tank top to unhook her bra and dropped it to the floor as well. He watched her slim body walk back into bed with him. She pulled the sheets up and he reached for the lamp, turning the light off. 

Once they were in the mainly dark room, he rolled over to face her and put his forehead almost to hers. He brought his hand to under her thigh beneath the covers and rubbed it up and down. She took her hand to his face and stroked it with her thumb. They could still see each other’s features because it wasn’t pitch black in the room. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you over here so late. It’s just, you’re my closest friend and probably the only person who knows everything that’s going on right now.”, he said.

“Aaron, it’s okay. I’d do so much for you. I love you...”, she whispered at the end.

“I love you too, Em.”, he said, staring at her and then leaning in and placed his lips on hers. 

Feeling how soft they were, he wanted more. He pulled her leg over him and her body closer, pressed against his.

She ran her fingers through his hair as her other wrapped around his neck. He let _his_ other hand hold onto her face.

Their tongues danced around with each other’s. He brought his lips to her neck and started leaving gentle kisses on it. 

He could feel himself getting hard under his boxers and wanted her so badly. But he didn’t know if they should do it or not. Not until she reached her hand down and brought it to his hard member and started rubbing it. He let out an uncontrollable moan as she continued. 

She sat up and pulled her tank top off and brought herself back down, laying on top of him, straddling him. His mouth dropped open, staring at her breasts again. He slid his hands up all the way from her thighs to her ass. He then brought them up to her sides, feeling her ribs along the way and around in front to her breasts. He took one in each hand, grabbing them tight. His eyes moved back to hers and this time, he bit _his_ lip.

She couldn’t take it any longer. She needed him inside her. She got on her knees, between his legs and slid her underwear off and once they were tossed to the side, she slid his boxers down and threw them off the bed. She slowly got back on top of him and didn’t even have to do anything to help him get harder because he was already as far along as he could get. And he didn’t have to do anything for _her_ , seeing as how she was already wet enough.

As much as she wanted to ride him like crazy, it was a soft, passionate, slow moment they had. She grabbed him in her hand and lined him up with her, his head entering her slowly, sinking down on him more as they both moaned and she threw her head back. He could feel her walls, tight around him.

“Oooo... you’re so tight, Em.”, he moaned, his hands on her hips.

“Mmmm.”, she moaned, slowly taking the rest of him in her.

Once she felt her skin touch his when she hit the bottom, she fell onto him, crashing her lips onto his.

She whispered in his ear, “I am... because you’re _so_ big.”, she kissed his neck. She felt his cock twitch inside her as she said that.

With her walls adjusted around him, he flipped her over before she could even begin to ride him. He immediately slid out partially and back in. His legs between hers, his body almost touching hers, over it. He steadied himself on his elbows and sides of his arms next to her head. 

He started moving in and out of her at a slow, steady pace, slick against her.

She brought her hand to the mold of his perfectly sculpted ass and the other to his back, running her fingers up and down his back muscles. He kissed her neck, breathing heavy against it.

This was all she’d wanted ever since last time they were together. She’d missed this, him like this, them like this, her _feeling_ like this. 

He picked up the pace, gradually but wasn’t going too rough, trying to savor the sweet moment they were sharing. He brought his face back to hers and his hand to her hair, stroking it. He looked in her eyes and then kissed her deep as she moaned into his lips.

He brought his lips to her ear and groaned quietly and slowly, “Oh goddd... Em... I’m so close.”

She allowed herself to be more vocal and help herself along. She began to bring her hand to her clit but he blocked it and said, “No. You’re _mine_ . _I_ take care of _you_.”

She brought her hand to his face and kissed him, opening her mouth to shoot her tongue in his. But right as she did, her mouth opened, wide, making what he thought was the most beautiful _oh_ face he’d ever seen. He rubbed her clit just right and she began to whimper. 

“I love you so much, Em.”, he said out of breath, bringing himself closer, looking in her eyes. She tried to say it back but struggled at first, too speechless from the sensation she was feeling in the moment. 

Somehow, she managed to get out in pants, “I love _you_ , Aaron. So fucking much.”, she bit her lip and traced the outline of his jaw delicately with her fingertips, as he went in for a kiss. 

As he continued working his magic on her, she felt herself reaching her point and let him know.

“Aaron, right there... yes... oh god... I’m gonna come... Aaron, I’m gonna come.”, she whined, softly. She held onto his back and he kept pumping in and out of her and moving his fingers around her. 

He felt himself reaching his point and all he needed was the feeling of her clenching down on him to finish him off.

“Come for me, Em. God you’re so sweet. I just wanna feel you release everything all over me. Come on, come for me.”, he panted. He felt her tightening around him. “Yes, that’s it, just like that, Em. Fuck, you’re so tight, let me feel you squeeze me.”, he said.

“Ah... Aaron... ooooooh. Mmmmm, fuck me good.”, she said, not letting herself go alone. She couldn’t hold on any longer, it hit her hard. Now that they were alone and she was able to, she screamed. “Yes! Yes! Ohhh, Aaron, fuck yes! Oh my god...”, she screamed.

She fluttered around his length and that’s all he needed to hit his own point.

He slowed down his speed as he spurted his hot juices into her.

“Fuck, Em... ah shit... ahhhh ahh ahhhh you’re so fucking good.”, he groaned.

They both rode out their highs as he let himself lay on top of her, skin touching skin.

He stayed inside her for a while as he kissed her neck and moved his hands along her body. Pushing up into her more, he felt how sweet she was and didn’t want to leave her warm passage but pulled out anyways to lay down next to her. 

He brought her close, under the covers, just like their first night together in the hotel. He lifted her leg over him, and pulled her close just like the position they were in before their clothes came off earlier. He held her back and combed the strand of hair from her ponytail coming out, behind her ear and smiled.

“How is it possible to look this gorgeous after what we just did?”, he said.

“You’re not so bad, yourself.”, she giggled.

He laughed along with her and planted a kiss on her lips with his hand on her face, stroking it after he pulled his lips off hers.

“You know this can’t be a permanent thing? _Us_ doing _this_.”, she said.

“But didn’t it feel good? Not having to worry about anyone overhearing us or feeling guilty about us being able to share our love together in such an intimate way now?”, he asked. “Why do we have to end this? There’s nothing really standing in our way now.”, he said. 

“Aaron, there are still some things that need to be worked out. It doesn’t matter how much I love you, which I do... very much. I just think that we need to not get ahead of ourselves. At least not any more than we already have.”, she said, tracing his cheekbone and running her fingers up into his hair. He drew small circles on her back and kissed her along her collarbone. 

“I know. You’re right.”, he said. “I’m glad you came over tonight, though.”

She bit her lip and smiled. “Me too.”, she said.

“I love you so much, Emily.”, he said, staring in her eyes, a tear trickling down his face.

“I love you too.”, she said, wiping it away and kissing his cheek. “I’m so sorry about everything...”

“I saw it coming for a while. There were a lot of issues but there’s nothing to do now. It’s over. I’m just glad you’re here by my side.”, he said, kissing her.

“I’m glad I could be.”, she said.

“How’s your head?”, he asked.

“After being here with you, doing what we just did, I completely forgot about it.”, she said.

“Good. Do you need anything for it? Ice, Tylenol? Whatever you want.”, he said.

“No. I’m good. I have you to keep me comfortable.”, she smiled. 

“Just let me know, okay?”, he said.

“I will.”, she said. He kissed her forehead next to the bandage and brought his lips back down to hers. 

“You really wore me out. We should get some sleep.”, he laughed. 

“Definitely.”, she kissed him and turned over, back facing him and he spooned her, holding her close and kissing her neck. 

“Goodnight, Em.”, he said, resting his arm over her back, on her bare stomach. 

She reached for his hand and kept it there.

“Goodnight, Aaron. I love you.”, she said, stroking his hand.

“I love you too.”, he said, kissing her neck once more before nuzzling his head against it.

  
  



	29. Surprise!

**Chapter 29**

  
  


**fair warning: light smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  


Emily woke up the next morning, alone in Hotch’s bed. She sat up and held the sheet to her and looked around.

“Aaron?”, she said. She heard a sound downstairs. She reached over on the ground for his button up and put it on, letting it hang low on her. She crept downstairs and walked in the kitchen. 

Hotch was standing over the counter, drinking a cup of coffee in his boxers.

She walked over to him as he turned his head to her. She went behind him and ran her hands up and down his back, bringing her arms around his stomach.

She kissed his shoulder. “How long have you been up?”, she asked.

“A little over an hour. I didn’t want to wake you. You seemed so peaceful.”, he said, turning around and grabbing her sides. She went to wrap her arms around his neck and right after she did, she pulled them off. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot.”, she said. “Did I hurt you?”, she asked, holding his arms.

“No.”, he smiled. “It’s okay.”, he held her face with one hand and placed his lips on hers. “I like that shirt. I wonder where you got it.”, he smirked.

“Hmmm. I don’t know...”, she said, smiling. He smiled back at her for a while. “What?”, she asked.

“You wanna know one of my favorite things about you?”, he asked.

“What’s that?”, she replied.

“You have the cutest dimples.”, he said.

She blushed and dropped her head, shy. 

“It’s also adorable when you blush like that.”, he said, bringing her chin back up and placing a kiss on each cheek.

“Alright, well... one of my favorite things about you... like I’ve said before, your bed head. There’s a lot of things, really, but that’s one of the things I love the most. Waking up next to you and running my fingers through it.”, she giggled as she did it. “Oh! And that cheeky grin of yours when I do that. No one else really gets to see that.”, she said, placing both hands on his face and bringing him down for a kiss.

“Well, you’re just special then. You just make me so happy.”, he said, smiling at her. 

“You make me happy. Well... when you’re not making me cry, that is. Which you’ve done a lot of too.”, she said. He frowned and looked down. “I’m kidding! Aaron, I’m kidding!”, she giggled, rubbing the back of his neck.

He looked back up. “Emily, I know we’ve had some ups and downs but if I ever make you upset, just-“, he started before she cut him off with her lips crashing onto his. 

“No. You do not.”, she said.

“Good, because I never want to hurt you. Ever. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.”, he said.

Her voice got softer and sentimental. “I know. I trust you.”, she said.

“You know how much I love you.”, he said.

“I _do_. I love you too.”, she said.

“Good. So can I make you breakfast now, before we head to work?”, he asked. 

“Only if you eat _with_ me. You have to take care of yourself too.”, she told him.

“Fair enough.”, he said. “What do you want?”

“I really don’t care.”, she said.

“Pancakes and eggs?”, he asked.

“Sounds good.”, she smiled.

“Alright. Pull up a chair.”, he told her.

  
  


After they finished up breakfast, Hotch did the dishes and walked back upstairs with Emily.

“I have to take a shower. Did you want to go first or...?”, he trailed off. 

“Wanna save a little water?”, she smirked.

“Come on.”, he said, dropping his boxers to the ground. She unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide off, following him into the shower. 

It was a large, walk-in shower with lots of room. He turned the water on hot and they both got under it. He slicked her hair back once it was wet and brought her in for a soft kiss before picking her up and pushing her against the wall. 

“Wait, wait, wait.”, she said, pulling back from the kiss. “Are you sure you can do this?”, she asked.

He looked down. “Uh... yeah, I’m pretty sure I can do this right now.”, he laughed.

“Not _that_. I mean with your neck and shoulder. That’s not putting too much strain on it, you holding me up like this, is it?”, she asked.

“I’m fine. I’ll let you know if something happens.”, he said.

“Okay, I just want you to be safe.”, she said. 

“I _am_ , don’t worry. Wait... why didn’t you have me pull out before, last night and the first time?”, he asked.

“I’m on the pill. I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. But you’re fine.”, she said.

“Okay, good.”, he said. “Because I would do anything to make you feel more comfortable if you wanted me to. But I really do like feeling you clench down around me when I come, buried deep inside you.”, he smirked.

She whispered, with her legs wrapped around him, “So do it.”, she stared at him with seductive eyes. 

He bit his lip and grabbed his hard length. He pushed up inside her slow but without stopping until he was all the way inside of her. 

“Ohhh...”, she moaned.

“Fuck... you just always feel _so_ good.”, he groaned.

While he took his time, they’d both forgotten about work, too wrapped up in making love to each other. Even though it wasn’t a spontaneous decision, it was still passionate. Each time they’d been together, it had been slow and loving, never fast or rough. They enjoyed being together in the moment and expressing their love for each other.

Once they finished, he looked her in her eyes and held her face, staring deep into them. He caressed her soft skin on her cheek and brought his face to hers slowly. Their lips met and they both got lost in each other all over again.

She could feel him getting hard again inside her. She laughed, “Again? How is that possible?”, she said.

“I don’t know. You make me feel-“, he started before she kissed him, opening her mouth and running her fingers through his hair. He took that as a sign to go again. 

As they were both reaching their second orgasm, she could tell it was even more intense than the first.

“I can’t believe what you do to me.”, he said, grunting.

She gasped as he finally hit the one spot that would send her flying over the edge. When he slowed down, she freaked out.

“No, no, don’t stop. Right there, keep going, please, Aaron.”, she whined.

“Emily, I’m gonna- oh shit...I’m gonna come.”, he hissed.

“I know, me too... don’t stop, don’t stop.”, she panted. Before either of them could say anything else, they both came at the same time.

“Ahhhh! Oh my goddd!”, she screamed in a high pitch, digging her fingers into his back. She dropped her head on his shoulder while he rode out his high and called out her name for the second time.

Once they came down from their high, she kissed his neck and breathed heavy against it. The feeling of her hot breath on him there, made him shiver. He tangled his fingers in her hair tight and pulled her head back and kissed her deep. 

“Remember in the hotel, after our first time, when I was listing reasons why I love you?”, he asked.

Still out of breath, she smiled and nodded, “Uh huh.”

“This is one more.”, he said, looking serious but loving.

“You can add that to my list too then.”, she said, kissing him again.

He pulled out of her and brought her back down to the ground. They continued to _actually_ shower as he soaped her up and held her from behind, planting sweet kisses on her neck and along her shoulder. 

Once they got out and dried off, they walked back out to his room and she picked up her clothes.

“Shit.”, she said. 

“What?”, he asked.

“All I have to wear are my _skinny_ jeans, tank top, and sneakers.”, she said.

“I’ll allow it.”, he smiled.

“You don’t think it’ll seem strange? It’s not exactly work attire.”, she said.

“You wore a tank top and dress pants before...”, he said.

“Yeah, those were _dress_ pants, _suit_ pants and I was wearing my boots and had a pant suit jacket too.”, she said.

He walked over to her with his towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets, trickling down his body. 

“Em, it’s fine. Do you want to stop by your place and change though?”, he asked. 

“No, I don’t think I’d have time. Wait... what time _is it?_ ”, she asked.

He looked at his phone. “Oh... I’m late!”, he said.

“Wait what?”, she asked.

“I was supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago. And you’re supposed to be in 20!”, he said.

“Dammit! Okay, yeah, I really don’t have time to go home and change. I’m gonna be late, everybody will notice.”, she said.

Hotch grabbed her sides and pulled her in close. “I’ll excuse it. I mean, it _is_ my fault, after all. I was the one that was ready to go twice.”, he said.

“Well, I was the one who suggested I get in the shower _with_ you in the first place.”, she said.

He smiled, “Well then, we’re both at fault, I guess.”, he said, planting a kiss on her lips.

“What is the team going to think when we both show up late at the same time as each other?”, she asked.

“I’m the boss. They aren’t going to confront me about it and there’s nothing tying us together that they know about. It’s fine, relax.”, he told her, bringing his hands to her face and kissing her forehead. “Go ahead and get dressed and we’ll leave. I have an excuse for me being late, with what happened last night... and I can pull you into my office to “talk to you about it” if that makes you feel any better so others won’t think anything of it.”, he laughed.

She sighed and said, “Fine. But you have to get dressed too because all this...”, she ran her hand up and down his chest and abs, “... is a bit distracting.”

He smirked. “Yeah, alright.”, he chuckled.

  
  


They were almost ready to go when he opened his drawer, looking for a tie. 

She went over and pulled out a blue one, draping it over his shoulders, around his neck. 

“I thought the red ones were your favorite.”, he said, as she started doing his tie for him.

“They are but blue is too... and _you_ like this one a lot.”, she said, finishing up. “Is that too snug with your neck and all?”, she asked.

“It’s just fine, thank you.”, he gave her a peck on the cheek and smiled at her big.

“What?”, she giggled 

“Your natural hair. It’s so cute. I love seeing it.”, he said.

“I don’t have time to do it. Too bad, it looks like you’ll no longer be the only one at work who’s seen it.”, she pouted, jokingly.

“Okay, now _that_ , I don’t like.”, he raised his eyebrows. She laughed at him and patted his chest in response and they headed downstairs. 

“Oh my _god!"_ , she said, exhausted, throwing up her hands and letting them fall.

“What?”, he asked.

“I don’t have my bag either. Maybe I should just go home and grab my stuff.”, she said. 

“You _could_...”, he said. 

“I think I _need_ to.”, she said.

“Alright, but don’t take too long. I don’t want to miss more time with you at work.”, he said.

“You just had a whole _bunch_ of time with me.”, she laughed.

“Well, I can’t get enough.”, he said, leaning to kiss her. 

They walked outside to their cars and he walked her to her car door. She opened it and before she got in, he pulled her into him and claimed her mouth with his.

“I love you, I’ll see you at work.”, he said, smiling.

“I love you too.”, she said, smiling back at him.

“Drive safe. Text me when you’re on your way to work from your place.”, he said.

“I will.”, she told him.

He smiled and walked to the garage and stopped to watch her drive away before getting in his own car and leaving. 

  
  


Emily got to work, dressed in a pantsuit, still with her natural hair but some makeup done.

When she walked in and sat down at her desk, Derek came over. “Wow, late night?”, he chuckled.

“Ugh, I could _not_ fall asleep and once I finally did, it was so late, I slept in.”, she said.

“What’d you do with your hair today? It looks different.”, he said.

“Actually, I did nothing. Didn’t have time to. This is my natural hair.”, she said.

“How have I not seen it before?”, he seemed shocked.

“Not many people have, I guess.”, she laughed.

“Well, I think it’s very cute.”, he grinned. 

“Yeah, _sure_. It’s not exactly neat.”, she said.

“It’s cute. End of story.”, he said.

“Well, thank you. Maybe I’ll wear it like this more then.”, she smiled. She wasn’t trying to flirt but she didn’t know what else to do.

“You should.”, he looked at her with flirty eyes. “So what time did you wanna go out tonight?”, he asked. 

“We could go right after work if you want.”, she said.

“Sounds good to me.”, he said. “Think of a place and we’ll do it.”

“Alright!”, she said.

He went to go sit down at his desk again once Hotch came out of his office. 

He looked down at Emily with a serious look on his face and in a deep voice said, “Prentiss, can I see you for a moment?”, he raised his eyebrows and walked back in his office.

She tried to act like she was dreading it or was nervous but _really_ , she couldn’t wait to get alone with him. She walked into his office and closed the door behind her.

“You wanted to see me sir?”, she teased him.

“Someone was late.”, he quirked an eyebrow.

“Someone was even _more_ late for themselves.”, she smirked.

“Sit.”, he said, trying to hold back a smile, rolling his lips in. “My body language has to say that I’m mad at you in case others are looking in here.”, he said.

“Yes, sir.”, she said, with a fake nervous look on her face. He tried so hard not to laugh. 

“Stop. I’m trying to keep a straight face.”, he said through his teeth.

She sat down and crossed her legs.

“So what are you doing tonight?”, he asked. 

“Actually, I’m going out with Derek. But not like that! Just to talk about everything since he finally _is_ speaking to me now. But I’m going to let him know I don’t think we should start anything up again. That we’re better as just friends and partners. So don’t worry about that. Please.”, she said. 

“Okay.”, he nodded.

“Did you want to come over and spend the night after?”, she asked.

“You could come over too if you want but if you want me to stay at _your_ place, that’s fine.”, he said.

“How about _tomorrow_ night we stay at your place?”, she asked, trying not to smile too much.

“I’ll come over after you get home?”, he asked.

“Sounds good to _me_.”, she said. 

“Good. I like waking up next to you.”, he said.

“I _prefer_ waking up next to you.”, she told him.

“I love you.”, he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

Now _she_ tried not to laugh and rolled her lips in, pressing them into a thin line. 

“I love you too.”, she said with a fake scared look on her face. 

He put his finger down on the table, pretending to tell her off. “Should I bring over any desserts or drinks tonight?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

She put her hands up and shook her head. “Cannolis sound great. I don’t know why but I’m really craving them.”, she said, putting her hand to her chest, pretending to apologize. 

He gestured his hand to the door and said, “Let me know when to come over.”

She nodded her head down, with a sad look on her face. “I will.”, she said.

“Oh wait. How’s your head?”, he asked, standing up.

“It’s _fine_.”, she tried to convince him. 

She lifted the band aid partially. “See?”, she told him.

“Em, that’s bleeding...”, he said, pointing to it.

“Aaron...”, she warned him.

He raised his chin. “Emily...”, he mocked her. “I want you to go to the first aid kit and clean it in the bathroom.”, he said. He waited for a response as she stared at him. “I can make that an order.”, he said pointing out the room. 

“Fine, whatever.”, she said, finally walking out, pretending to be quiet and upset.

She walked out of his office and went to the first aid kit before heading to the bathroom to clean the cut on her forehead.

She came back out to the bullpen and saw that it was empty. She walked by Hotch’s office and he was gone too. 

She was so confused and figured maybe they got a case so she opened the door and walked into the conference room. She gasped, surprised at what she saw.


	30. Surprise pt. 2

  
  


**Chapter 30**

* * *

  
  


“Surprise!”, everyone shouted. 

“What! What is this?”, Emily exclaimed. 

“Happy birthday!”, JJ said, walking over to her and giving her a hug. 

“You didn’t really think we forgot, did you?”, Derek asked.

“Especially me. I mean, I don’t really forget anything so...”, Reid said and everyone laughed. 

“Guys it’s not my birthday till tomorrow. I didn’t even tell you.”, Emily said.

“We know things”, Derek said. “Oh and also...”, he and Reid stepped aside.

“A cake? Really? You guys...”,Emily said

“Oh, there’s presents too.”, JJ said.

“Stop!”, Emily teased. “Wait where’s Penelope?”, she asked. 

Penelope came running in, in her giant heels that were impossible to even walk in. “I’m here, I’m here! Oh! happy, happy birthday, my love! I love birthdays so much! They’re so _happy_ , especially _here_ with everything we _do_!”, she said, handing Emily a present and giving her a huge hug. “Open, open open!”, she squealed and clapped.

“I’ll open them soon.”, she laughed. “You guys really didn’t have to.”

“You’ve been here almost a year now. You’ve been there for all of us and you’re so great at your job. I know I wasn’t nice to you at first after my whole thing with Tobias and being kidnapped but... you’ve been supportive and... you’re part of the family here and we love you.”, he said stepping forward and giving her a hug. 

She gasped. “Reid! You don’t give hugs.”, she said. 

“I’ll make an exception for you.”, he squeezed her tight.

“Okay, really, now I feel like I’m gonna cry. You guys have been such a huge part of my life the past year and I’m so grateful for all of you.”, she said.

Derek walked over and gave her a big, tight hug. “Ahh Prentiss, Prentiss, Prentiss! Happy birthday, princess! You’re the best partner ever, thanks for putting up with me and being my friend too.”, he said, letting go of her. She rubbed his shoulder and patted him on the back.

“Happy birthday, Prentiss.”, Hotch said, almost letting a smile pass.

“Thanks, Hotch.”, she said with a smile, herself. She could tell by his eyes, he really meant it though.

“Let’s cut this cake while we still have time!”, JJ said. Everybody started gathering around it and chattering.

Hotch walked over to her and kept his distance but faced her. “So, you really didn’t see it coming?”, he asked.

“Seriously, clueless. How long have you guys been planning this?”, she asked.

“For a while but then I was out and everything with Gideon... we figured it’d be best to do an early birthday surprise closer to your birthday anyways, so...”, he said. “Why didn’t you tell me though?”, he whispered.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t really celebrate my birthday that much. Only when I was a kid and we never did anything special then either.”, she said.

“Well, I love birthdays so, expect something nice tomorrow night...”, he said quietly.

“Oh?”, she quirked an eyebrow.

He laughed and whispered, “I didn’t exactly bring my present _here_...”, he turned around and walked towards the cake. She blushed and tried to shake it all off before she walked back to the others. 

After they enjoyed some cake, opened a few presents, and chatted with everyone for a while, they had to get back to work.

By the end of the day, everybody left and before Derek and Emily headed out, he went to the bathroom.

Hotch came down to her and leaned against her desk where she was sitting with his arms crossed. “Hey, so how was today?”, he asked.

“Well I started my _morning_ off pretty well.”, she laughed. “And the rest of it was pretty great too... Thank you.”, she smiled softly, putting her hand on his leg.

“Good.”, he smiled. “Well, I’ll bring those cannolis over later and we’ll get a good night’s rest unlike _last_ night.”, he chuckled.

“Sounds good.”, she said.

He sat up and said, “Let me know when you’re home and I’ll head over.”

“Alright, it shouldn’t be too late.”, she said.

“Can’t wait.”, he told her, walking away.

A minute later, Derek came out and walked over to grab his stuff. “Ready to go?”, he asked.

“Absolutely!”, she said.

“Come up with a place yet?”, he asked.

“Guiseppe’s? I’ve been craving Italian food like crazy.”, she said.

“Lead the way.”, he said.

  
  


Once they got to the restaurant and were seated, she looked him in the eye. 

She placed her hand on his on the table and squeezed it.

“Derek, I’m glad we could do this tonight. I know there’s lots to talk about but I’m just glad you _agreed_ to.”, she smiled.

“Me too. I’m so sorry I was acting so horrible to you. I realize I was way out of line with what I said. I mean... accusing you of sleeping with our boss? That’s just ridiculous, I can definitely see that now. I just got jealous and confused but I really miss you. I miss being with you. And if I could have another chance to show you that...”, he said looking up at her. 

She sighed. “Listen, I loved the time we spent together. Really, I did. But I think we aren’t good together in that way. We’re too similar and something just isn’t right about it. I don’t know but I really do think we shouldn’t go down that road again... and I don’t want to make things messy again.”, she said, waiting for him to reply. “Derek?”, she asked after he was silent for a while.

“I get it.”, he said, with his head lowered, nodding it and raising it back up. “I do. I screwed things up.”, he said.

“No, no, you didn’t. I think it would’ve eventually happened anyways. I’m just glad it didn’t get too far to hurt us both. Because I _do_ care about you. A lot. And I want you to be happy but I think we both need to be and I think we need to try and do that apart from each other. But you’re still so important to me.”, she said smiling at the end and rubbing his arm. 

“Alright. You’re right.”, he said.

“Really? You’re okay?”, she asked, surprised.

“I’m a bit upset but I’ll be alright. Besides, you’re not leaving my life. I still got you in it.”, he said.

“I’m so glad you understand.”, she said.

“I want you to be happy, Emily. And if that means letting go of what we have, then I’m okay with that.”, he said.

She squeezed his hand again and smiled before pulling away and picking up the menu. “I think I’m gonna get a pasta dish. What about you?”, she asked.

  
  


After they ate dinner and he paid, part of a birthday treat, they hugged goodbye and drove home. 

On her way home, she called Hotch. “Well hello, how’d it go?”, he asked.

“Really well, actually. We’re all good. I was truly surprised but in a good way. So, I’m headed home now. Just thought I’d call and let you know.”, she said.

“Great. I’ll head over in a few.”, he told her.

“Alright, love you.”, she said.

“Love you too.”, he said.

“Bye.”, she hung up, smiling at how good it felt to say that to each other so casually.

  
  


She got home and right as she parked, she saw Hotch leaning against his car in his big overcoat. He was holding a to-go box and his go-bag, smiling at her as she got out of the car.

“What! How long have you been waiting here?”, she said, walking over to him, locking her car.

“Just a few minutes.”, he smiled. She put her hand on his face and kissed him. “Hi.”, he said, grinning.

“ _Hi_.”, she said back, quiet, biting her lip, also grinning.

They put their arm around each other and walked up to her place. Once they were inside, he set the box down in the kitchen and they went up to her room.

She took her shoes off as he did the same along with his coat, suit jacket, and tie.

She walked up to him and ran her hands up his chest. “Mmmm. I’m so glad you’re here.”, she smiled.

“Me too.”, he said, leaning down and giving her a kiss. “I know you had some cake earlier but I still brought you your cannolis.”, he said.

“Add that to my list.”, she said.

“Your list?”, he seemed confused.

“Of reasons why I love you. Duh.”, she laughed.

“Oh, _that_ list.”, he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. “Well let’s go eat. I’m starving.”, he said, heading downstairs.

“Aaron.”, she raised her eyebrow, crossing her arms, stopping in her tracks. He stopped and waited before he turned around.

“Yes?”, he said.

“Did you have dinner?”, she asked.

He walked towards her. “I’m about to have dinner with you.”, he tried to say with a cute charm.

“That’s not a dinner.”, she said.

“Okay, okay. I may have worked even later than usual and forgotten to eat.”, he admitted.

“I’m making you dinner.”, she said.

“I thought you said you couldn’t cook.”, he said.

She started walking past him, to downstairs. “No. I said I _don’t_ cook, as in I don’t like to cook. But I’m good at it.”, she said.

“Well, what can I expect from Chef Prentiss tonight then?”, he joked.

“I don’t know. You made me breakfast, I’ll make you dinner. Whatever you want.”, she said.

“Plain and simple grilled cheese. In the pan! With all that good butter on the outside.”, he smiled.

“How old are you? Six?”, she asked.

“Pretty much.”, he grinned, walking over to her as she pulled out a pan and plate. 

He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her close, kissing her neck. They rocked back and forth while he hummed against her neck. She leaned back into him and brought her hand back to his neck on his good side. Her other hand was on top of his that was wrapped around her waist. 

“Alright!”, she giggled. “Let me make you some food already.”

“But you taste so much better.”, he joked, kissing her neck more.

“You are too much, oh my god.”, she rolled her eyes, releasing his hands from her.

He pouted and walked over to sit at the island, watching her make his grilled cheese. She served it on a plate and brought it over to him, sitting on a bar stool beside him. As he took his first bite, she rested her elbow on the counter and her chin on it. She faced him and stroked his hair.

“Em, I don’t know how you did it but this is seriously delicious. I mean it really hits the spot.”, he laughed.

“It’s just cheese and bread.”, she smiled.

“Yeah but the ooey gooey of the cheese and the butter...”, he rolled his eyes back into his head. “Thank you.”, he said. “Add this to _my_ list.”

“You’re welcome.”, she said.

Once he was done, she grabbed the box of cannolis and they finished those too.

“So.”, he faced her. “What are we doing tomorrow night?”, he asked.

“Staying in? Staying in bed?”, she smirked.

“Alright, I like that, _but_ ... I _would_ like to do something for you. Do you want to go out for dinner?”, he asked.

“It’s not a huge birthday. I’ll be 40 _next_ year. I’ll do something big _then_ . Something simple and fun tomorrow night is just fine. _Really_.”, she said.

“I think I might actually have an idea.”, he said.

“Great! What is it?”, she asked.

“Oh. Now, I’m not going to ruin a surprise for you. Just trust me. It’ll be fun. Very simplistic. Very _you_.”, he smiled.

“You think I’m simplistic?”, she asked, sounding offended. She could see the panic on his face and tried not to laugh. 

“No, no, of course not, Em...”, he reached for her arms. “I just meant that this-“, he stopped once she started laughing.

“I’m just messing with you. I know what you meant.”, she said. He looked to the side and sighed. “Awwww...”, she chuckled. “I’m sorry, come here, come here.”, she said, hopping down from the barstool and walking into his legs, grabbing his shirt. She brought his lips to hers and he could feel her smile.

“You’re lucky I love you. With all the crap I have to put up with from you.”, he said, looking in her eyes. 

“You do?! Oh my god!”, she exclaimed, messing with him again. She kissed him deep. “I love you too! I can’t believe it!”, she giggled.

“I think you need some sleep.”, he smiled.

“I think you need it more. Come on.”, she said, dragging his hand upstairs.

  
  


They got ready for bed and she wore pajama shorts and a tank top while he just wore his boxers again. They got under the covers and he curled up next to her, holding her close. He stared at the clock and it was 11:59pm. 

“Hey, don’t fall asleep yet.”, he whispered in her ear. 

“Hmmm? Why not? I’m exhausted.”, she mumbled.

“ _Becaauuusseeee_...”, he waited till the clock turned to 12:00. “It’s your birthday!”, he said.

“Woohoo. Let’s sleep.”, she said, sarcastically. He reached for his bag on the ground and grabbed a present in wrapping paper out from it. 

He shook her. “Em...”, he said.

“Aaron, what? I’m tired.”, she snapped, rolling over to face him.

He was holding himself up by his elbow. In his hand was the gift and she looked at it, sitting up just like him.

“What’s that?”, she asked.

“Well, I wanted to give it to you at midnight so it’s a good start to your birthday but if you don’t want it...”, he said.

“I mean... I may as well.”, she said as they both laughed.

She carefully undid the folds with the tape of the wrapped paper on the back, not ripping any of it.

“Em, just tear it off.”, he chuckled.

“Listen, I’m one of those people who likes to save the wrapping paper if I can. I have a very delicate touch.”, she said.

“Oh, _I know you do_.”, he smirked. She pushed him playfully. She finished opening the present and pulled the last piece of tape off, holding the book in her hand.

“ _The Catcher in the Rye?_ ”, she said, shocked.

“First edition. It’s the first thing we had a real talk about and I know how much you love it and relate to it and I thought it’d be perfect.”, he said. 

“Aaron...”, she started, tearing up and voice wobbly. “I love it. So much.”, she said, putting it and her hands to her chest. “You didn’t have to do that.”, she sniffled.

He tucked her hair behind her ear and held her face. “I wanted to. Just accept it.”, he said, stroking her cheek. She rolled her lips in as a tear ran down her face and he wiped it away. She brought her hand to his face and pulled him in to kiss her. 

“Thank you. I love you so much. It means a lot. _First edition_. Where did you even find that?”, she asked.

“I have my sources.”, he smiled.

“Well, it’s amazing. And it _is_ a good start to my birthday, but really, just you being here.”, she said. 

“Always.”, he smiled. She pulled him in for another kiss and set the book down on her night table.

“Okay, _now_ I need some sleep.”, she said. 

“Me too.”, he agreed. She rolled onto her side as he spooned her from behind again.

“Happy birthday, Em. I love you.”, he said.

“Thank you. I love you too.”, she said, sweetly, reaching her hand back to his neck and turning her head to give him one last kiss before they fell asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	31. Drive-In Theatre Birthday Night

  
  


**Chapter 31**

* * *

  
  


The next morning, in bed, Emily rolled over and opened her eyes. Hotch was laying in front of her with his elbow propped up on the pillow and his head in his hand, staring at her.

“Mmmm. What are  _ you _ smiling about?”, she grumbled, rubbing her eyes. He put his hand on the top of her head and leaned down for a kiss, returning his hand back to where it was before.

“Good morning to you too, birthday girl.”, he smiled.

“How long have you been up?”, she said.

“A little bit.”, he said.

“Why? Did you not sleep well?”, she asked.

“I slept just fine.”, he smiled.

“Well, why are you up so early?”, she asked.

“No reason.”, he said.

“Did I wake you up? Did I do something?”, she asked.

He laughed and kissed her again.

“ _ What! _ Did I do something?”, she asked again.

“Don’t worry about it.”, he said.

“Aaron! Tell me!”, she said.

“You snore a little but it’s cute!”, he chuckled.

“What! I do not!”, she said.

“You do! But it’s cute.”, he kissed her again. Her mouth dropped open. 

“Is that why you were up early yesterday!”, she said.

“It’s okay, Em. Really. You’re so adorable.”, he said. She gasped. 

“Oh! I can’t believe you!”, she exclaimed, grabbing a pillow behind her and smacking him with it. 

He laughed and took it, hitting her back with it, practically having a pillow fight.

He let it go and got on top of her, allowing her to wrap her legs around him.

He looked down at her and smiled. 

“It doesn’t matter if you snore a little bit. I can always fall back asleep.”, he told her.

“So why didn’t you?”, she asked.

“Because then I wouldn’t get to watch how peaceful you look.”, he said, tucking her hair behind her ear and leaning down to kiss her. She finally smiled and let their lips touch again. 

“So, did you want to stop and pick up breakfast?”, he asked.

“Together?”, she asked.

“Well, yeah. I thought you could ride with me today. That way you don’t have to drive and also... I was going to have us go straight to your surprise from work tonight.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said. 

“Besides, my car is bigger.”, he said.

“Why is that important?”, she asked.

“You’ll see.”, he smiled, leaning down to kiss her. “Now, come on! We have to leave early if we want to grab food and get to work early as well.”, he said. They got out of bed and she grabbed him. 

“To save time, why don’t you hop in the shower with me? I promise to keep my hands to myself. Since we’re short on time and all.”, she said.

“I like  _ that _ .”, he said, heading to the bathroom. 

After they got out of the shower, she combed her hair and dried it. She went for the curling iron but he stopped her. 

“You don’t need to curl your hair. I love it natural.”, he said.

“Well, it’s my birthday and I want to curl it, so let me look pretty today.”, she said, picking it up.

He grabbed her face. “You always look gorgeous, no matter what.”, he said, kissing her.

“I don’t care. I want to do my hair nice since I didn’t get to yesterday. Now, go get dressed.”, she told him. 

He walked into her room and got dressed. Once she finished doing her hair, she came out and changed into a black pantsuit with a navy blue t-shirt and her black boots, as always. 

“Do you have a pair of sweatpants?”, he asked.

“Um yeah? Why?”, she asked.

“You might want to wear something a bit more comfortable tonight than what you have on right now.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she eyed him, not sure where he was going with that.

She grabbed a pair of gray sweatpants and her favorite black converse. “Here, give them to me. I’ll put them in my bag.”, he said. She handed him her things and saw inside his bag.

“You packed sweats too? And sneakers? What are we doing tonight?”, she chuckled. 

“Stop asking. I can’t tell you. Don’t worry, it’s not a huge thing. I just know it’s something you will want to be comfortable for.”, he said. 

“Alright, fine.”, she said. “Hey, um... when do you get to see Jack? I’ve been wanting to ask but also give you some space on that too...”

“It’s fine. I’m uh- actually going to Jessica, her sister’s place to see him on Saturday.”, he said.

“That’s good! I’m glad!”, she said.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing him.”, he said quietly, dropping his head.

She walked over to him and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. “Hey, listen to me. You are a great father, okay? Don’t let yourself forget that.”, she said. He dropped his head and she picked it back up. “ _ Okay? _ ”, she repeated.

“Yeah, alright. Thank you.”, he said and gave her a hug. “Mmmm I don’t deserve you.”, he squeezed her tight.

“Don’t say that!”, she squeezed him tighter. “You  _ do _ . Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you. When you insult yourself, it’s like insulting me, insulting my decisions because you are one of them. So stop that.”, she said.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  _ Please _ forgive me.”, he teased. 

“Make me.”, she said.

He pulled back and looked at her. 

“That’s how you want it to be? Okay.”, he laughed. He smiled and kissed her, moving his lips all the way down her neck, tickling her, and making her giggle. 

“Okay, okay! I forgive you!”, she said.

He brought his face back up to hers and they both grinned. “Let me just do my makeup and we’ll go.”, she walked into the bathroom.

“Where’s my jacket?”, he asked.

“Oh, you mean  _ my _ jacket?”, she laughed.

“Ha ha. Where is it?”, he asked.

“In the middle drawer.”, she said, while applying her mascara. 

“I’m packing this too just in case it gets a little chilly. Also, I like seeing you wear it.”, he said.

He walked in and came up to her, picking up her eyeliner. “Oh, I love it when you wear that. I don’t think you need makeup at all but that makes your eyes really pop and look so much bigger. Only  _ you _ could pull that off.”, he said, carefully placing a kiss on her cheek so she wouldn’t move and mess up her makeup.

“What?”, she asked.

“That white eyeliner.”, he said.

“You’ve noticed? I thought guys didn’t notice that stuff.”, she laughed, putting eyeshadow on.

“Not every guy gets to stare into your eyes, close up like I do. I notice everything about you. I’ve memorized every beautiful aspect of your face and body. Remember that day in my office a while ago? When I told you that you’re hard to forget? Well, I covered it up by saying it’d be hard to forget anyone during that time I worked with your mom because  _ she _ is. But I’m sure you probably knew that’s not what I meant.”, he laughed.

“Aaron, of course I knew. Girls  _ always _ know. Besides, when it comes to stuff like  _ that _ , you are a  _ bad _ liar.”, she giggled.

“I felt so bad! I thought I made you so uncomfortable!”, he said.

She set her makeup down and turned to him. “No, you didn’t. But I couldn’t exactly say I was flattered and  _ of course I remembered you too because how could I forget someone as hot as you _ . I played along with what you said though.”, she said, turning back around and doing her lipstick.

“You thought I was hot then?”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, of course I did. You were an older man in an authority position who was attractive and paid attention to me. Did you not pick up on me flirting with you all the time?”, she said.

“Maybe a little bit I wasn’t going to act on anything obviously. Even if I wanted to... And hey! I’m only seven years older than you!”, he said.

“Right, but back then I was younger. Seven years seemed like a bit more of a difference than it does now.”, she said.

“Well, now  _ I’m _ flattered.”, he said, holding her sides behind her and kissed her neck.

She set her lipstick down and turned to face him. “Your ego is way too big sometimes. Among other things...”, she smirked.

“I didn’t think that last one was an issue.”, he chuckled.

“Oh, it’s not.”, she winked.

“Go grab your bag.”, he laughed.

They grabbed their bags and drove to pick up breakfast on their way to work.

They got to the BAU before everybody else and went in his office.

“Thanks for breakfast.”, she said, sitting down at his desk and opening her to go box with an omelette, hash browns, and bacon in it.

He sat down on his side and opened his box with the same in it. “I’m sorry we couldn’t dine in this time.”, he said.

“We are. Right here.”, she said, taking a bite of bacon. He stared in her eyes and smiled.

  
  


Throughout the rest of the day, the buildup to that night was increasing. She’d been in a good mood all day and knew it was all because of Hotch. She finally felt happy. 

When everyone else had left, she went up to his office and walked right in. 

She walked over to his chair and rubbed his shoulders, leaning over and placing kisses behind his ear.

“So, are you ready?”, she asked, bringing her arms over his shoulders and hanging down his chest.

He looked up at her and she brought her lips down to his. “Give me one second.”, he said, finishing up the last bit of work he had.

“Alright! You ready?”, he asked.

“Been ready all day.”, she said. He grabbed his bag and pulled out her sweats and shoes.

“Good. Go change in the bathroom real quick. I’m going to do the same.”, he said, grabbing his own sweats and sneakers.

When they came out of the bathroom and put their clothes away, they grabbed their bags and headed out the door.

They got to the car and once the door closed, he looked over at her and waited until she finished buckling her seatbelt and looked at him.

“What?”, she said.

“Nothing, you just look really beautiful.”, he said.

She leaned over and gave him a kiss. 

“Let’s go! I can’t wait any longer!”, she said.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, we’re going.”, he said as backed up the car and drove off. 

Twenty minutes later, she was getting impatient. “Okay, where the hell are we going?”, she said.

“We’re very close. Okay. Close your eyes.”, he said.

She closed her eyes and a couple minutes later, she could feel the SUV driving on a dirt road. “Aaron, are we on a dirt road?”, she asked, confused.

“Sort of. Keep ‘em closed.”, he said.

When she felt them park, she said, “Okay, can I open my eyes now?”

“No. Hold on.”, he said. 

He got out of the car and grabbed his jacket that was now hers and opened the door on her side, helping her out. He walked her over to the back of the car and slid the jacket on her. He put his arm around her and squeezed her tight.

“Okay,  _ now _ you can open them.”, he said.

She opened her eyes and saw dozens of other cars in a dirt lot, parked all around them. There was a giant screen up ahead in front of them all and people sitting in trunks and the backs of their cars with snacks and popcorn.

Her jaw dropped and she turned to him.

“You took me to a drive-in theatre?!”, she asked, smiling huge.

“Is that a good thing? Did I do alright?”, he asked. She wrapped her arms around his neck carefully, still cautious of his healing wound on it.

“You did more than alright. I love drive-ins. I didn’t know they had one here!”, she said.

“They actually just opened it the other week and I thought it would be fun and we could be out in public technically and not have to worry about being seen as much and still have some privacy and besides... the movie showing is one of your favorites. I swear,  _ that part _ , I didn’t plan.”, he said.

“What? Which one?”, she asked.

“ _ It Happened One Night _ . The Frank Capra one. I’ve only seen it once but I know it’s one of your all time, favorite, classics.”, he said. 

“You remembered?”, she asked, almost sounding sad.

“Of course I did.”, he said

“I love you so much.”, she said, reaching up to give him a kiss.

“I know. I love you too. I’m glad I did well.”, he chuckled. “Happy birthday, Em. I’m gonna go grab us a couple snacks and drinks at the stand real quick. What do you want?”, he asked.

“Ooooo... red vines, Pepsi, and popcorn to share?”, she grinned.

“Whatever you want.”, he said, kissing her quick before he walked away to the stand.

She popped the trunk and saw pillows and a huge blanket. She pushed the seats back and propped up the pillows, hopping in and facing the screen while the projector started. 

Hotch came back with a bag of peanut m&m’s, red vines, a large popcorn, and two Pepsi’s. He joined her and set everything down while he pulled the blanket over them and handed her her drink. 

He slung his arm around her and nuzzled her head into his shoulder and chest.

“Oooo you got peanut m&m’s?”, she squealed.

“Yeah. Next two are on you.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“I got the last pack too at that hotel when you attacked the vending machine for not taking your bill. You remember?”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Oh my god.”, she covered her mouth. “I was so mean to you!”, she said.

“It’s okay and I’m only joking.”, he chuckled. “Besides, earlier that day, in my office, I was kind of worse, so...”

“Yeah, you  _ were _ kind of an ass.”, she laughed. 

“I  _ see! _ That’s how you’re going to talk to the man who took you out tonight and did everything for you this morning?”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.”, she kissed him and pulled away, biting her lip in a smile, while he copied her.

Almost an hour into the movie, Emily and Hotch were still curled up with each other under the blanket. She’d finished her soda and was shaking the ice around in the cup.

“You want me to go get you a refill?”, Hotch asked.

“I got it. I need to stretch my legs anyway. I’ll be right back.”, she said getting up and giving him a kiss as she walked away.

She got a refill on her Pepsi and started walking back to the car when all of a sudden, someone bumped into her. She dropped her drink and it spilled.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”, she said to the man as they both bent down to pick up the cup. “Oh no, it got all over your shoes.”, she said.

He chuckled. “It’s alright, they’re boots, it doesn’t soak it up.”, he said in an Irish accent that made her stop for a second. He reached in his black overcoat pocket and pulled out a few napkins. A small paper matchbook fell out along with them as he handed her a napkin. They wiped the soda off both their shoes. 

“Thanks...”, she said, hesitantly.

As he reached for the cup on the ground, his sleeve rolled up above his wrist. That’s when she noticed the four-leaf clover tattoo that was far too recognizable.

Once he stood up, she saw the small matchbook on the ground and she picked it up. It was gold with a black four-leaf clover on it. She rose to her feet, holding it as he had started walking away slowly. 

She turned her head and stared at him and he turned around right as he was about to approach Hotch’s car. 

“Good to see you, Lauren. Oh. Sorry- I guess it’s Emily now.”, he said, a corner of his mouth turning up slightly and walked away, throwing the cup in the nearest trash can.

She stood still, in place, eyes wide and mouth shut tight. She felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t remember  _ him _ but he knew  _ her _ . She knew who he worked for. The tattoo, the accent, the matchbook... Doyle.

  
  



	32. "Do You Trust Me?"

  
  


**Chapter 32**

  
  


**fair warning: light smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  


Emily couldn’t move her legs, they were glued in place. She watched the man walk off, past Hotch’s car after calling her “ _Lauren_ ”. Her heart had stopped and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

Right after the man passed Hotch’s car, Hotch hopped out and looked in the direction of him. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked over to Emily, who was staring down at the matchbook in her hand.

Hotch walked over to her, a concerned look on his face. Right as he was about to touch her arm, he said, “Em, wha-“, before he could finish, she looked up and literally jumped in the air, back from him, clenching her hands, bringing them to her chest, startled, beyond belief.

He put his hands up and raised his eyebrows. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Em! It’s me. It’s me, Aaron. Come here.”, he said, opening his arms, which she practically ran into. “Ooh!”, he heaved as the impact of her body running into his, hit him.

She squeezed him tight and he could feel her shaking. He stroked her hair and kissed her head. “Emily, what happened? Are you hurt?”, he asked, pulling away, looking her up and down.

“No. I’m fine. We have to go.”, she said.

“But Em, the movie... It’s your favorite... It’s your _birthday_...”, he frowned.

“Aaron! We have to leave now! Okay? Please just listen to me. We need to get out of here.”, she said, walking to the car fast and looking all around her on the way. 

She closed the trunk and checked through the backseat windows to make sure no one or nothing was there. She got in the front seat and locked her door.

Hotch got in the driver’s seat and turned to look at her. “Lock your door. Please.”, she said. He did as he was told. He turned back to her with a sad look and saw the fear in her eyes. “Aaron, I mean it. Please, drive.”, she said, panicking.

He started the car and drove off. While they were on the way back to his place, he noticed her staring out the window and looking in the rear view and side view mirrors of the car.

“Mind telling me what happened back there and why you’re all fidgety?”, he said.

“Just get us back to your place, please.”, she said, choking back tears.

“Okay, we’re almost there, don’t worry.”, he told her, placing his hand on her thigh, which she flinched at at first but calmed down.

They got to his house and pulled into the garage, closing it. She grabbed her bag from the backseat and reached in it for her gun as she got out. She pulled the strap over her shoulder and kept her hand still in it, holding her gun. Hotch unlocked the door and stepped inside, turning the alarm off, letting her come in behind him.

She looked all around as they walked through the living room and upstairs. 

Once they got to his room, she went to the bathroom and checked it. Once she could see that nobody was there, she set her bag down and sat on the bed. 

She let out a deep sigh and dropped her face in her hands.

Hotch bent down on the ground in front of her and held her knees. “Em, talk to me. What happened?”, he asked.

She looked up at him and held his hands, as tears poured down her face.

“Aaron. I love you... but I can’t talk about it... I’m so sorry. I know that’s not fair, after everything you’ve done for me today. I really wanted to be able to have fun tonight and I did. I’m just sorry it was cut short but _believe_ me when I tell you, I wouldn’t have left unless I knew we had to.”, she sniffled.

“Emily, did that man hurt you?”, he asked.

“No. No, he didn’t hurt me.”, she said.

“Well, what happened? You were literally shaking and jumped in the air when I came near and you weren’t looking. You’ve never done that. And what was that that you were holding? The little gold thing.”, he said.

“Aaron, because I love you, I’m gonna ask you not to do this. I appreciate you worrying about me, really, I do. But this thing, I can’t talk to you about it. It’s for your own good, trust me.”, she said, voice steady now.

“I know what’s for my own good. Protecting you, keeping you safe, making sure you’re okay.”, he said.

“Not right now.”, she shook her head. “You can’t do that right now. I’m okay. Just don’t worry about it. I’m sorry if I startled you.”, she said, dropping her head.

He lifted her chin slightly and brought her eyes to his. “You didn’t startle me. You did _worry_ me. I’d be lying if I said I’m not _still_ worried...”, he sighed. “What can I do?”, he asked.

“Just being here with me is good enough.”, she smiled.

He so badly wanted to know what was wrong and be able to protect her but knew she wouldn’t give it up. 

“Alright. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”, he said. He stood up and pulled her up with him, taking her into his arms, wrapping them tight around her body. “I’m right here.”, he whispered, stroking her hair, trying to soothe her. “Let’s go to bed, alright?”, he said.

She nodded against his chest. He kissed her head and pulled away with his hands on her face.

“You are not alone.”, he told her.

She smiled at him. “I know.”, she said.

He kissed her and pulled her in for one more hug before he stepped to the other side of the bed and took his shirt off, throwing it in the hamper.

He slid under the covers and pulled them down for her too. She walked over and got in bed. She curled up next to him, throwing her arm over his body and laying her head on his chest. 

“How scared are you, Em...?”, he asked as he felt her shaking and saw tears welling up in her eyes when he looked down at her. He rubbed her back up and down.

She waited a moment till she could collect herself enough to speak. “Extremely.”, she whispered.

He started to feel tears forming in his eyes just hearing her say that. His voice wobbled a bit, “Emily, please tell me there’s _something_ I can do. I can’t just watch you like this and not do anything... Please, Em.”

“Aaron, you’re the one person I want to tell and also the one person I don’t want knowing this... You’d see me different. But I can’t talk about it. I’m sorry... it’s not up to me.”, she sniffled.

“Emily, I would _never_ see you differently. You’ll always be the person I know you as now and did when I first met you all those years ago. My view of you and of who you are could never change. You’re an amazing woman, who I love so much and nothing can change that either.”, he said.

“Aaron, please just leave it be. I’m exhausted and just want to go to bed now. Can we do that?”, she asked, looking up at him.

He rubbed her back and squeezed her tight. ”Sure. Whatever you want.”, he said, reaching his arm to turn the lamp off, without letting her go from his arms.

“How was the rest of your birthday?”, he asked.

“Really great. Seriously. I appreciate everything you did for me today. I appreciate everything you always do for me.”, she said.

“It’s my job to be there for you and take care of you.”, he said.

“No, it’s not. But you do it.”, she said, rubbing his chest.

He squeezed her tighter and sighed. “I love you. I won’t stop letting you know that or showing you that.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, kissing his jaw and bringing her head back down to his chest.

“Happy birthday, Em... I’m sorry it was such a shit show.”, he sounded disappointed.

“It wasn’t all. You made everything feel better, okay? So, thank you.”, she said.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”, he said.

“You already have. Just by being here with me.”, she said.

“No, I’ll think of something. You deserve better than whatever happened tonight and I want you to have more than that. End of discussion.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she said, nuzzling into his chest more. “Goodnight. I love you. Thank you. You’re amazing.”, she giggled and kissed his chest.

“Goodnight, Em. Sleep well.”, he kissed the top of her head.

  
  


A few hours later, Emily jolted awake and gasped. She looked up at Hotch, who was still asleep, somehow. She’d just woken up from a nightmare about Doyle. She knew she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep and she knew she had to call someone. And she knew who that someone was.

She carefully lifted Hotch’s arm from around her and slid out of bed. She walked to her bag quietly and grabbed her phone. She stood up and looked at the closed door. Maybe she was just paranoid but she thought it was better to be safe than sorry. She didn’t know if any more of Doyle’s “friends” knew where she was or if they would try and do anything to her.

She crouched back down and grabbed her gun from her bag and put her phone in her pocket of her sweats. She slowly opened the door and closed it without making a sound. She held the gun up as she moved downstairs to the living room. She checked all the rooms in the house downstairs.

Once it was all clear, she walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch. She set her gun down on the coffee table and pulled out her phone.

She called one of her old friends who worked the Doyle case with her.

Her anxiety built up as the phone rang.

“ _Emily!_ How are you?”, Tsia answered.

“Tsia, hey... I know this is out of the blue, calling you like this but...”, Emily sighed.

“Emily... what is it?”, Tsia asked.

“One of Doyle’s people found me tonight.”, Emily responded.

“ _What?_ How do you know? What happened?”, Tsia questioned her.

“I was at a drive-in movie and a man bumped into me... I dropped my soda and when we leaned to pick it up, I saw the same tattoo as Doyle and he dropped a matchbook with the four-leaf clover on it.”, Emily said.

“And what makes you think it was one of Doyle’s people?”, Tsia asked.

“Well... he had an Irish accent and he said, “ _Good to see you, Lauren. Oh. Sorry- I guess it’s Emily now._ ”, and smiled as he walked off. So yeah, I’m pretty sure, it’s Doyle that’s behind this.”, she snapped.

There was a moment of silence.

“If Doyle wanted to get to you, he’d do it himself. Which he can’t because he’s in prison. In another country. This is just a scare tactic he’s using.”, Tsia said.

“Okay, well, it’s working but also... how did he find me and why _now?_ ”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know but there’s nothing he can do. Listen, I’ll talk to Sean but I don’t think there’s anything _to do_. He’s locked away...”, Tsia said.

“I know I just can’t shake this-“, Emily started before she heard Hotch coming downstairs.

“Emily?”, Tsia said.

She turned around and saw Hotch walking over to her.

“Oh, uh- sorry for calling you back so late, mom. I’ll call you again tomorrow.”, Emily said.

“Is someone else there?”, Tsia asked.

“Yes, of course, I’ll do that.”, Emily said.

“Talking in code again, just like the old days. Let me guess... boyfriend?”, Tsia said.

“Not sure yet, but you’re probably right. I’ll look into that and let you know tomorrow, alright?”, Emily said.

“Alright. Keep your head down for now, just to be safe.”, Tsia said.

Hotch reached Emily and leaned over her rubbing her shoulders.

“Right, got it, you too. Bye.”, Emily hung up.

“Hey, what are you doing up?”, Emily asked Hotch.

“I woke up randomly and you weren’t there. I got worried...”, he said. His eyes moved to the coffee table. “Emily, why do you have your gun down here?”, he asked, letting go of her shoulders and coming around to the other side of the couch to face her.

“I just thought I heard something, wanted to be safe.”, she lied.

“So you grab your _gun_ and go down by yourself?”, he asked. 

“Well I was coming down here to call my mom back. She wished me a ‘ _happy birthday’_ earlier and she’s overseas right now so the time zones are weird. I just thought I’d give her a call back now. She also had a couple questions about some case she wanted an opinion on but it was nothing.”, she said. He crouched down in front of her.

“Well what were you doing up? Do _I_ snore?”, he asked.

She laughed, “No, no. You’re perfect.”, she said, stroking his cheek. “You’re really perfect.”, she said in a soft, loving tone.

He put his hand on her knee. “Emily... you’re really worrying me.”, he said.

“What? I can’t tell my boyf- you that you’re perfect?”, she asked, hoping he didn’t pick up on what she began to say.

He stared at her with concerned eyes, neither of them speaking for a moment.

“No, I just want to know what’s going on inside your head. You’re up in the middle of the night on a weird phone call with your gun by your side after what happened tonight. I’m _worried_.”, he said, rubbing her leg.

She stood up, as he followed and she placed her hands on his face and kissed him. “Don’t be. I’m fine.”, she said. 

He cocked his head and looked sad like he didn’t believe her. His hands were at his side and he stared at her.

She let go of him and grabbed her gun and walked to the stairs heading back to his room. He just stood there and watched her.

“Are you coming?”, she asked. He dropped his head and walked up behind her.

She walked into his room and turned the light off and put her gun and phone back in her bag. She stood up and turned around to him. She could tell he was still upset.

She moved towards him and grabbed the waistband of his sweats. “I think there’s still one gift I haven’t opened yet.”, she said with a smirk on her face.

“Emily, I don’t think we should right now. You just-“, he said.

“Aaron... don’t think...”, she said, pulling off her shirt. He looked away.

She pulled her sweats down, leaving her in her black laced bra and matching underwear. “Aaron, look at me...”, she said, bringing his face back to hers.

He looked in her eyes and only her eyes. 

She tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants again and dropped them to the floor. She ran her hand up his chest to his neck and pulled him closer until their lips met.

Before she knew it, he was picking her up and walking over to the bed.

They both landed on it with her underneath him, legs wrapped around his waist.

With her hands in his hair and their lips parting, allowing their tongues to slip through, she forgot about everything else.

He started grinding against her slow, causing her to moan. It took him less than five seconds to slip off her bra and continued on with what he was doing before. 

She eventually went for her underwear but he beat her to it. He slid them off and as he was coming back up he stopped in between her legs but she pulled his head up to her.

“No. I want _you_.”, she whispered.

She reached down and slid his boxers down and he kicked them off, coming back up to her.

Seeing her like this, made his heart warm, knowing that she was _his_. He knew she had started to call him her boyfriend earlier but stopped once she realized what she was saying. He wanted to be able to call her his girlfriend but there was nobody to say it to. Nobody knew they were together and they hadn’t even talked about what they were to each other anyways.

  
  


She could feel him hard against her thigh as she grew hotter. She pulled him down more and claimed his mouth with hers. He began to grind against her again, now skin on skin, making them both moan.

He lined his tip up with her hot, wet 

entrance and slid in. Every time he did that, she always gasped. No matter how many times they’d been together, it was still a shock to her body that always needed a moment to adjust.

He knew her inside and out, literally. He knew every time to wait till he could feel her walls loosen just enough to tell him when to go. He stared her right in the eyes and she pulled him down for a kiss letting him know to continue.

  
  


After a half hour of pure love making, they grew exhausted and decided to go to bed.

“Em?”, he asked as she scooted towards him, ready to fall asleep.

“Mmm?”, she phrased as a question, nuzzling into his side.

“If you’re in danger... you- you’d tell me, right?”, he asked, running his fingers along her arm.

“Aaron... please. We just had an amazing moment and I want to _sleep_ now.”, she said.

“Emily, you brought a _gun_ downstairs with you! I’d like to know if you’re in trouble at the very least, whether I know what it is or not. I know that wasn’t your mother on the phone. I won’t ask who it was, I’m sure it was important and you can’t tell me, I get it. But _please_ ... just tell me, are _you_ in _danger_? Just be honest with me about that...”, he said.

She was silent for a moment and lifted her head up and turned on her side, sitting up more. “Honestly?”, she asked, quietly. 

“ _Please_.”, he begged. She sighed heavy and looked around the room and up at the ceiling before back at him.

“I don’t know...”, she admitted.

He felt his heart drop and she could tell. 

She reached for him. She touched his face and stroked it.

“I promise... I _promise_ I will let you know when I know something for sure. Okay?”, she said, softly.

He took her hand on his face and kissed it. He brought it down to his chest and pulled her into him.

“Okay... That’s all I needed to hear. You can always tell me more if you’re ever able to or need to. I know I tell you that a lot but I don’t know if I ever express to you how much I really mean it.”, he said.

“I _do_ know. And you do express it. I _know_ you. I _know_ your intentions and I _know_ how much you love me. Don’t worry about that... And Aaron?”, she said.

“Yeah?”, he asked.

“Do you trust me?”, she asked.

“With my life. Literally. We put our lives on the line everyday with our job and I know I risked my life for you back at that warehouse when I was shot. You risked yours for mine too... I trust you with my _life_ , Em.”, he said with no hesitation at all.

“So trust me when I tell you not to worry about me right now. That I’ll be fine. That no matter what happens, I still love you and nothing will change that.”, she said.

“I’ll always worry about you. I’ve told you that so many times. I don’t care what you tell me... I will _always_ worry about you. But I can live with the rest. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to check in with you if I see you upset or I notice something going on. I won’t ignore any of that.”, he said.

“I can live with that.”, she said.

He could feel her smile on his chest and his heart melted. Next, he felt her eyes flutter close and he stroked her hair, trailing down to her back and holding her.

He loved the feeling of her falling asleep in his arms and she loved the feeling she got when she listened to his heartbeat and steady breathing as she fell asleep.

Before he knew it, she was out and he stayed wide awake, barely getting any sleep for the rest of the night. He was too worried about her and overthinking the possibilities of who that man was at the drive-in and what’s so horrible happening in her life.

All he wanted to do was protect her but she wouldn’t let him and that’s what hurt him the most.

  
  



	33. Carson

  
  


**Chapter 33**

* * *

  
  
  


The next morning, Emily woke up to the sound of the shower running. She opened her eyes and Hotch wasn’t beside her. She rubbed her eyes and got up, walking into the bathroom. She approached the shower and saw him scrubbing shampoo into his hair.

“ _Hi_.”, she said, biting her lip, smiling.

“Good morning, beautiful.”, he replied. She stepped in and got under the water. 

“How’d you sleep?”, he asked.

“Really well actually. I think I needed that but I always sleep well when I’m with you.”, she said.

“Well, I’m glad. I did too. You didn’t even wake me up with your cute little snoring.”, he laughed.

“You little-“, she started and got cut off by his lips pressing on hers.

“Care to finish that sentence?”, he asked.

“Maybe later.”, she said. “Right now, I care to do something else.”, she smirked.

  
  


Halfway through their workday, Emily got a phone call from Tsia. Once she saw the name on her phone she looked around and headed for the bathroom to answer it in private. Hotch noticed this from his office and made a mental note to check in with her after. 

  
  


Emily answered the phone by the time she got to the bathroom. “Tsia, hey.”, Emily said.

“Are you finally alone?”, Tsia asked.

“I mean, I’m at work but I’m alone at the moment. I stepped away. Any update?”, Emily asked.

“One of Doyle’s people was just found dead in D.C.”, Tsia said.

“ _Are you serious?_ ”, Emily whispered, even though no one could hear her.

“Yeah, obviously foul play is suspected but no one is asking any further questions about it. I’m sending you over a picture now to identify him, if it was the man you saw last night.”, Tsia said.

Emily checked her phone and looked at the picture. “That’s definitely him.”, she said.

“Well, he’s not a problem anymore. Apparently he was just released from serving ten years. Must’ve had some enemies, most likely enemies of Doyle’s. Looks like you have nothing to worry about now, alright?”, Tsia said.

Emily let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god. I was already having nightmares and worrying my- uh- I don’t know...”, she trailed off.

“Your _boyfriend?_ ”, Tsia asked.

“I really don’t know what he is but he’s my Unit Chief here and he’s smart. He knew I wasn’t really on the phone with my mom when we spoke last night. It’s been hard to keep this from him whenever something related to it comes up. I’m just glad it’s over before it got too far.”, Emily said. 

“Well, you’re in the clear now. Whoever took care of this, made sure that there’s nothing left to bother you. They didn’t do it for you most likely but it benefits you so, problem solved.”, Tsia said.

“Thank you, Tsia. _Really_ , thank you.”, Emily said.

“I barely did anything. Let me know if there’s any other updates we need to know. Keep in touch.”, Tsia said.

“Will do. I’ll talk to you later, give Sean, Jeremy, and even Clyde my best.”, Emily said.

“Will do.”, Tsia said.

“Bye.”, Emily hung up.

  
  


Emily felt a huge wave of relief wash over her and wanted to go and let Hotch know immediately.

She walked out of the bathroom, headed straight towards his office, and stepped in, closing the door behind her. 

Hotch shut the blinds, immediately walking over to her as she did the same, meeting him halfway.

She put her arms around his neck and held on tight. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed her cheek.

“I was just going to come find you when you came back out. Are you alright? That’s just me checking in.”, he said, trying not to pry.

She pulled back and kissed him. She grinned and looked him in the eyes. “I’m better than alright. That problem is no longer a problem. It’s done, it’s over with.”, she said.

“Really?! Thank god. I hated seeing you like that even just for a few hours.”, he said, kissing her again. “I’m so glad, Em. I really am.”

She hugged him tight again and whispered in his ear, “I love you so much. Thank you. For being here. For being so supportive.”

“You’re welcome. That’s what I’m here for.”, he said. 

She pulled back and placed both hands on his face, pressing her forehead to his. 

“You are something very special to me, Aaron Hotchner.”, she said.

“You are something I never knew I could be lucky enough to call my own.”, he told her. She smiled and pressed her lips to his. Her fingers trailed down to his, linking together. 

“An old friend of mine is having some of his art featured in a show at this gallery downtown tonight. I was thinking it might be nice to go if you want.”, he said.

“I would love that.”, she said, smiling big.

“Great. Let’s stop by your place after work. Grab a nice dress, fancy heels or something?”, he said.

“I get to dress up? I never have that opportunity. Sounds great.”, she said. 

“Good. I can’t wait.”, he smiled and kissed her. “Now go do some work.”, he told her.

“Alright.”, she gave him a peck on the lips and walked out of his office.

  
  


Later that day once it was dark and they got off work, they waited till everyone else left before they did together. 

Hotch came strolling down from his office to her desk. “Ready to go?”, he asked.

“Absolutely!”, she said.

  
  


They drove to her apartment and she went upstairs to change. “What do you think of this dress?”, she held it up.

“I think you’ll look amazing in anything but yes, that would be perfect.”, he said, sitting on her bed.

She got changed in her closet with the door closed, purposefully, just so she could walk out and surprise him. She opened the door once it was on and his jaw dropped. 

The plain black dress was tight and form fitting, ending just above the knees with 2 inch straps over the shoulders. She had put on black eyeliner instead of the white one and heavy mascara with a subtle yet obvious eyeshadow and neutral toned lipstick with her hair curled.

She had put on black wedges that went up to her ankles and her favorite perfume that he couldn’t deny was his too. It was sweet but had a hint of vanilla as well. 

He stood up, speechless for a moment and struggled to find the words. He had never seen her dressed up like that before. Not since he worked for her mom and they’d had a few parties and he’d watched her through the crowd and occasionally made conversation with her. But this was the first time he’d seen her dressed like this, for him. 

“Wow. I- wow. Em... you look gorgeous. Truly stunning. Words cannot describe how beautiful you are and how amazed I am by you.”, he said. 

She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. “You think so?”, she flashed him a smile.

“Definitely.”, he said, looking her up and down. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her in close. “You are absolutely gorgeous. _Drop dead_ gorgeous.”, he said.

“You’re not too bad yourself. I like this shorter, tighter suit on you more than the baggier ones. But you look very handsome no matter what.”, she said, smiling and playing with his tie.

He pulled her in even closer until their bodies were pressed against each other as much as possible. He stared in her eyes and brought his lips to hers, softly. 

“Mmmm.”, he moaned into her mouth. “I love you, Em.”

“Mmmm. Mmhmm.”, she moaned, barely pulling her lips away, leaving their foreheads and noses touching. “I love you too.”, she grinned.

She grabbed the back of his head and stroked it, running it down and around to his face, kissing his cheek. 

“Let’s go. I don’t want to get there too late.”, she said.

“Of course.”, he said, interlacing his fingers with hers.

She handed him her keys and phone once they stepped out of her apartment.

“Oh sure, no problem. I’ll hold onto them, Miss “ _I don’t need a purse”._ ”, he chuckled, putting the keys and her phone in his pocket.

“Listen, you know I refuse to carry a purse. But it’s okay, I have _you_ to hold my things.”, she teased.

“Alright, fine. Only because I love you.”, he said, smiling, looking over at her. 

“Good enough for me.”, she said.

  
  


They got to the art gallery and walked around it for a while, admiring different paintings, photographs, sculptures, and more. 

It felt weird for him to be standing so close to her, his side touching hers, having his hand on her back, displaying affection in public. But it was nice. It felt nice.

As a caterer brought around trays with champagne on it, they each took one, sipping it slowly. They eventually ran into his friend.

“Aaarronnn!”, his friend said in a deep voice, messing around with him, pulling him in for a man hug. 

“Carson. How are you man?”, Hotch said.

“Oh you know, livin’ the dream.”, Carson said. “How about you, any big news in your life?”, he asked, eyes looking over at Emily, forgetting all about what he just asked Hotch. “Hi, I’m Carson. Carson Miller.”, he said, flirtatiously, holding out his hand and shaking Emily’s. “And you are...?”, he asked with seductive eyes. 

Hotch picked up on his moves and got defensive. “Carson, this is my girlfriend, Emily. Emily Prentiss, since we’re doing the full name introductions.”, Hotch said, putting his hand on the small of her back. 

Emily’s heart skipped a beat and she looked over at him right after he said “ _girlfriend_ ” and smiled. Maybe he _had_ heard her when she started to say _“boyfriend”_ the other night.

“Ahh very nice to meet you, Emily Prentiss.”, Carson said, still eyeing her. 

She chuckled and smiled, politely, “You, as well.”

Wanting to break the tension, Emily decided to start a conversation. “So, Carson. I saw some of your work back there; it’s amazing. Uh, how did you and Aaron meet again?”, she asked.

“Thank you so much, yeah, I uh- met Aaron all the way back in law school and we were both prosecutors until he decided to join the FBI and I decided to quit and become an artist so, hard to tell who’s more successful.”, Carson laughed.

“Oh wow, so you guys go _way_ back.”, she said.

“I’m not _that_ old.”, Hotch said.

She rubbed his arm for a second. “No, of course not.”, she laughed. 

“I take it, you guys met whenever you started at the BAU?”, he asked Emily.

“Actually, no. We met uh- oh god- over 20 years ago, I guess. He worked for my mother, who’s an ambassador, for a while and I was just around a lot. We knew each other a bit.”, she said.

“No shit!”, Carson said, surprised. He crossed his arms and smiled in amazement. “And now you two are re-connected. Ha, wow...”, he said, smiling at the couple, eyes looking back and forth between the two.

“Well, how’s Hannah? You guys still together?”, Hotch asked.

“No, she uh- moved to California for a job. I wasn’t exactly ready to pick up and move with her so I guess that’s that but we’re good. I actually just spoke to her yesterday and the job’s going well, she got a place by the beach so she's doing pretty alright, yeah.”, Carson said.

“I’m sorry. Well, for now you’ve got-“, Hotch started before he was interrupted by his phone buzzing in the pocket on the inside of his suit. He pulled it out and saw that it was work related and sighed.

“Em, I’m so sorry, I have to take this. It’s work.”, he said. 

“It’s alright.”, she said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show her around some more.”, Carson said.

Hotch leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and walked out of the doors, answering his phone.

“So.”, Carson started.

“So...”, Emily giggled.

“Did you see the black and white photography section yet?”, he asked.

“No, we hadn’t gotten there yet.”, she said.

“ _Follow me._ ”, he said.

They walked into an area of the gallery displaying the black and white photography. Still sipping on her champagne Emily looked all around with him as they moved from one piece of art to the next, chatting with each other along the way.

“So tell me... what drew you to Aaron? I mean, you’re a beautiful, intelligent, impressive, kind hearted woman. Yet, you haven’t settled down yet. No one has snatched you up until now. Why is that?”, he asked.

She blushed and looked slightly shocked and stuttered. “Thank you... Well, I- uh... I used to work for Interpol before I started at the BAU. Traveling everywhere, being on long assignments, never really had the time to meet anyone, let alone be in a relationship with them. Nobody good came along until Aaron came back into my life, I guess.”, she half smiled.

“Do you love him?”, he asked.

She looked down and back up, smiling. “Yeah, I do.”, she chuckled, shy.

“You know, I’ve known Aaron a long time... I haven’t seen him this happy for a while. I can tell how much he loves you. He really adores you. That’s something special I can already see between you two just from the brief moment I’ve had with you guys even standing next to each other. You have something special.”, he said.

“Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this happy either.”, she smiled.

“Oh and uh... what happened to his neck?”, he whispered.

She took a deep breath in. “We were working on a case not too long ago and the unsub got me... Aaron had his gun drawn but the unsub shot him a few times. Once in the neck, once in the shoulder, and the other one thankfully was caught by his vest. Probably one of the scariest moments of my life.”, she nervously laughed. 

“So he literally risked his life for you.”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she rolled her lips in and looked down, remembering that day. “Yeah, he did.”

“Wow... I’m really sorry you had to go through that.”, he said, softly.

“Yeah, well, I already yelled at him for almost bleeding out in my hands and scaring me so badly when he flatlined in the ambulance.”, she chuckled. “We always tell each other though, _it’s just part of the job._ ”, she said.

“Doesn’t make it any easier...”, he said.

“No. No, I guess not...”, she said.

“So nobody at work knows, I’m guessing?”, he said.

“No, that would be a disaster if anyone were to find out at work. I guess the only person who knows at all is you.”, she laughed as he did too.

“Well, your secret’s safe with me.”, he smiled.

“Thanks. And thank you for inviting us tonight. We don’t exactly get to go many places in public together or at least not with somebody else we know. It’s really nice.”, she smiled.

“Always my pleasure. I’d love to get together with you guys again. Maybe do something else other than this.”, he suggested.

“I’d like that a lot.”, she said right as Hotch walked over to them.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. 

She put her hand on his chest as they both shifted their faces to each other and he planted a kiss on her lips.

“Everything good?”, she asked Hotch.

“Yeah, just some boring work stuff.”, he told her.

She looked back at Carson and smiled. She could tell by the look on his face when his eyes met Hotch’s that they needed to have alone time. Man to man.

“I’m gonna go the restroom real quick. You two talk amongst yourselves, I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.”, she said as Hotch took her glass of champagne she handed to him.

She rubbed his back and walked off, knowing what they would be talking about.

Leaving the two men alone, Carson looked him straight in the eyes and said,

“What the hell are you doin’ man?”

  
  



	34. Carson's Loft

  
  


**Chapter 34**

* * *

“I’m sorry?”, Hotch asked.

“I asked you what the hell you’re doin’.”, Carson said. “Haley  _ just _ left.  _ And _ I know you didn’t just now get together with Emily. I know this has been going on for a while.”, he eyed Hotch. 

“I didn’t expect for this to  _ happen _ .”, Hotch said.

“Of course you didn’t. I know you. But this also isn’t like you. I mean, how long has this been going on? I know you love her and I know she loves  _ you _ . That doesn’t just happen overnight.”, Carson said. 

“It’s not that simple.”, Hotch sighed.

“So explain it to me.”, Carson said.

“The moment she stepped into my office that first day... it was weird. I don’t know, I couldn’t believe she was there. It was more of a “ _ Wow, it’s been so long... how are you and your mother? _ ” type of thing. But the second time she came in, a few days later, I felt something I couldn’t really explain. I ignored it until one night I was walking her to her car. We were talking about our childhoods and stupid things like our hobbies and favorite books. And the way she made me smile... no one ever makes me smile like that. And then something touched a nerve and she started crying. I wiped the tears off her face and I honestly thought I was going to kiss her. I might’ve if my phone hadn’t rang. I called her later and we talked for hours. Later on, I eventually kissed her and things just changed between us. We were on a case out of town, we went out to eat, went to the beach, made out. I felt like a teenager again, falling in love. It’s been on and off, no label, things just happening here and there for almost a year. We’ve known how wrong it was... She even tried dating someone else but...”, Hotch trailed off, shaking his head.

“But what?”, Carson asked.

“But one night in my office, she told me a lot of things about... her feelings and... missing me. I didn’t respond and I let her walk away. I apologized later and she kissed me. She pulled back, knowing it was a mistake because nothing had changed. She was still with her boyfriend and I was still  _ technically _ with Haley. But later that night, we were on a case and she came to my hotel room right when I opened the door to go to  _ hers _ . Our minds were just connected. Without saying anything, she walked in my room and it just happened.”, Hotch explained.

“That was the first time?”, Carson asked.

“Yeah... and it was  _ amazing _ . It wasn’t just sex. It was passionate and in the moment. That was the first time I told her I love her. Being with her in the moment… I stopped everything we were doing and let the words just come out of my mouth. I was so nervous when she was silent at first. But then she told me she loved me too... That’s when I knew I couldn’t live without her. After all these years of being away from her and now being re-connected, as you said... I can’t ignore it. I’m just so in love with this woman. I’m not saying I was any less with Haley... but it’s just different with Emily, you know? I almost died in her arms and she saved my life. She literally pressed her hand against the GSW on my neck and stayed with me in the ambulance and hospital. I can’t stop letting her know how much I love her everyday. And knowing she feels the same way... I just-“, Hotch said, lightly laughing and scratching the back of his head.

“I’m happy for you man. I really am. And I like Emily, a lot. She seems amazing, especially for you. I definitely see a connection that’s been there for more than a year or whatever. But... what about Haley?”, Carson asked.

“Things have been over long before Emily came back around and before she left me. Not that that’s an excuse for what’s been happening between me and Emily during this whole time but I wasn’t happy. I mean Haley and I barely spoke, all we did was fight, we weren’t happy anymore. I even think the last time we had sex was when Jack was conceived... who I’m still going to see all the time. We’re going to do joint custody. I think I’m getting an apartment soon. Haley is staying with her sister in the meantime. Also, it was my job that finally set everything off. So many things weren’t working and for a long time. And Emily isn’t as affected by that as Haley was and she understands it because she has the same job.”, Hotch went on.

“Well what else is different about Emily?”, Carson asked.

“What’s  _ not _ different?”, Hotch said.

Carson stared at him and nodded silently. He looked up and smiled when Emily finally came back. She placed her hand on Hotch’s shoulder and brought it down to rub his back.

“Here you go, hun.”, Hotch said, handing Emily her glass of champagne back. She blushed at him calling her “ _ hun _ ” for the first time. 

“Thanks.”, she said sweetly. She took a sip and put her arm on his upper back, pressed against him as he put his arm around her lower back.

Carson stood there looking at them with a smile on his face. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.  _ Don’t move! _ ”, he told them, pointing at them both.

When he walked away, Emily and Hotch looked at each other. “So, did he try to hit on you any more when I was outside?”, he asked.

She laughed, “No, actually. We mainly talked about art and then... about you.”, she said.

“Oh? Guess I should’ve seen that coming. What  _ about _ me?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Just why I’m “ _ drawn _ ” to you, if I love you, talked about how you almost died in my arms and practically risked your life for me and that’s how I know that you do love me. All that typical stuff.”, she laughed. “I really like him though. He said he’d love to get together sometime soon and actually do something.”, she said.

“Yeah, I’d like that. It’s nice to be able to be together around someone we know.”, he said.

“I’m assuming he knows about Haley...”, she said, taking another sip of her drink. 

“Yeah, he does... He was a bit surprised about you but we talked about us and how I didn’t just jump into something with you. And how you’re so much more to me than anybody who I would have just started seeing... because I didn’t. And how much I love you. In fact, I kind of went on and on...”, he chuckled.

“So he doesn’t hate me?”, she asked.

“No, Em. No, of course not. He said he really likes you and you seem like an amazing woman, especially for me.”, he said.

“Really?”, she smiled.

“Yes,  _ really _ . Besides, how could anyone hate  _ you? _ ”, he said, squeezing her tight, pulling her into him more, and giving her a kiss on her head.

“You guys actually listened and didn’t move. Wonderful.”, Carson said, walking up to them, carrying a camera. “Let me get a couple pictures of you two... old school.”, he said, holding up the old fashion looking camera.

“No  _ wayyy. _ ”, Hotch said, pointing to the camera. “You still have that?”, he asked.

“Of course I do. It’s a classic. I could never get rid of it.”, Carson said.

“I’m sorry, am I missing something?”, Emily laughed.

“Back when we were in law school together, we would go all around the city at night. Sometimes long drives out to absolutely nowhere but areas that were just beautiful like the woods with amazing wildlife and other parts of nature. We would take this 1976 Nikon with us everywhere we went and bring extra film along with us to capture it all. We had some crazy times back then.”, Hotch chuckled.

“You know, I still have a bunch of that film. I never got a lot of them processed if you guys want to take a look at them after you’re done here.”, Carson said. 

Emily and Hotch looked at each other to see what the other one thought before looking back at Carson.

“We’d love to!”, Emily said.

“Awesome. I live right up the block in those lofts. I’ve got this old bottle of scotch I’ve been dying to try.”, Carson said.

“Sounds great.”, Hotch said.

“Alright! Well, now, scoot back a foot and look right here.”, he said, pointing the camera at them. 

They were still pressed against one another’s sides with their arms around each other. They smiled and Carson snapped a shot on the camera. He turned the dial to load it to the next piece of film. “One more.”, he said.

This time Hotch brought his head down and slightly placed his lips on Emily’s head while she brought her hand, still holding the champagne, to his chest. Carson pressed the button and got another picture. 

When he brought the camera down, Emily and Hotch both moved their heads to bring their lips together. They felt normal that night, being able to even just kiss around other people, be on a real date, not have to pretend like he’s just her boss.

“These’ll turn out really nice. I’m gonna go set this down and you guys take a walk around more. Just come find me when you’re done and we’ll head to my place.”, Carson said.

“Sounds like a plan.”, Hotch said before Carson walked away. 

They kept going around the different sections of the gallery, enjoying their time out. A caterer eventually came around to take their empty glasses. Hotch didn’t take his hand off her for one minute, savoring each one that he got to do it.

“Everything here tonight is so beautiful.”, she said, staring at a painting.

“Not as beautiful as you.”, he said, turning to face her until she looked up at him.

“Aw, sweet, but cheesy line,  _ hun _ .”, she smiled when she put the emphasis on the last part.

“It’s true. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all night, without a doubt. And... I’m sorry about that earlier. Calling you that and all. It just came out.”, he said.

“Don’t be. That’s  _ also _ sweet.”, she told him, placing her hand on his face.

He smiled and placed a kiss on her lips. He pulled his lips away from hers to smile and rubbed her back. He stretched his arm, pushing his sleeve up to look at his watch. The gallery was closing soon and most people had left.

“You ready to head out?”, he asked. 

“Sure, let’s go find Carson.”, she said.

They saw him across the room and headed over towards him.

“Hey, you guys ready?”, Carson asked.

“Whenever you are.”, Hotch said.

“Let me just grab my things.”, Carson said, heading towards the back. 

  
  


When the three of them got to Carson’s loft, he went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of scotch and poured three glasses. He handed Emily and Hotch their own and and grabbed one for himself. He walked them into his studio area with his dark room, where he did all his mixing and processing for his artwork and prints.

He turned the bright white light on inside a table shining through the translucent top. The red lights hanging for when he made prints were already on, still dim in the room.

Carson grabbed a box and pulled out rolls of film and laid them on the table. 

The light on it was shining through the film making the pictures on them visible. They gathered around to look at each one.

“Oh my god, Aaron! What are you wearing?”, Emily laughed, pointing to one of the pictures on the roll. 

“It was the 80’s! That was what, like 1984?”, Hotch asked, looking at Carson who nodded.

“Yeah, so you would’ve still been in like high school, Em.”, Hotch said.

“Still, I knew fashion. Probably better than  _ that! _ ”, she said.

After a while, Carson pulled out another roll and laid it out on the table. “These are from that one weekend we went camping in ‘86. Remember? The car broke down on the way there so we had to stay an extra day.”, Carson said.

“No! Don’t show her  _ those! _ ”, Hotch said.

“What! Why? I want to see them. Come on, Carson, show me.”, she batted her eyes at him, knowing he would. She used flirting to get a lot of small things like that and it worked.

“She wants to see ‘em man.”, he said.

“Oh god. I hope you don’t take off after looking at those.”, Hotch said.

Emily leaned over and looked at all the pictures of them in the woods. Some of them holding an axe and splitting wood. Some of them starting a campfire. Some of them on a hike. Some of them swimming in the lake.

“Oh my god, Aaron. Were you skinny dipping?!”, she asked, covering her mouth in shock and hiding her laughter.

Hotch brought his hand to cover his eyes, partially in embarrassment, partially in annoyance.

“Great, thank you for that.”, he said looking at Carson who was dying of laughter.

“You two were pretty wild back then, huh?”, she asked Hotch, looking up at him with a smile.

“You could say that, yeah.”, he chuckled.

“Oh, I’ll get some of these processed if you’d like, along with the ones of you two from tonight at the gallery. I’ll make some prints of them.”, Carson said.

“Thank you! That’d be really nice.”, Emily smiled.

“Maybe not the ones of me skinny dipping but the ones of me and Emily, would be great.”, Hotch said chuckling.

While they were going through more rolls of film and telling stories, they got into more conversation.

“So, Carson, what made you want to leave your whole career to become an artist? I mean, your work is great and it’s amazing that you’re doing what you love and are good at but what made you stop?”, she asked. 

“I just felt a natural calling for art. I didn’t feel that much for being a lawyer. I was good at that and I liked the idea of being able to put the bad guys away and all but I didn’t enjoy it. I felt like a lot of people could do it but not everybody can just do what I do now. There’s way fewer people out there that follow their dreams and I wanted to try mine.”, he said. 

“That’s really admirable. I think you probably made the right decision then.”, she smiled.

“Thank you. Besides, I get to wear much cooler outfits like this. Just jeans and a shirt, all that casual stuff.”, he laughed. “What made you decide to leave Interpol? I know you mentioned that’s where you were at before. Why did you want to join the BAU?”, he asked.

Her initial thought was,  _ Ian Doyle because he really fucked up my life and I didn’t want to do any of the same stuff I did with him again _ . But she tried to find a better excuse, still feeling uncomfortable discussing it. She hadn’t even talked about her work history with Hotch yet, except for those moments he was there when she cried about it or something triggered her and she needed his comfort.

“Oh, uh- you know, I just... I don’t really know why. But I’m glad I did because I love my job now and it put Aaron back in my life too.”, she smiled, touching Hotch’s chest, who smiled in response.

“That’s a huge change too though. Interpol is a very impressive place to be at in your career. To just change fields like that...”, Carson said. 

She bit down on her lip to keep from starting to tear up and because of how nervous it made her talking about it. Thinking about it always triggered her to get upset for so many different reasons.

“You know, she never really talks about it at all, even with me.”, Hotch told Carson. “I mean I have no idea what you even did back there, Em.”, he said.

“Nothing too crazy or that impressive, really.”, she said, hoping her vague answer would be enough to tell them to change the subject and move on. 

“I highly doubt that. You probably did a lot of traveling all over the world. Did you have any cool undercover operations or something?”, Carson asked.

“You must’ve done some crazy stuff.”, Hotch said to Emily. “I mean  _ this _ one here...”, he pointed to Emily, “...is so calm under pressure. And so many things don’t even phase her.”, he told Carson. 

“Remember that one case, where JJ asked you how you do it? Because you’re always so collected and seem like you don’t let anything get to you? Your answer was because you guess you’re just better at compartmentalizing than others.”, Hotch laughed. 

“Well, it’s true.”, Emily said almost impatiently. She took a sip of her drink and finished it. “Carson, you said you have an awesome vinyl selection. Mind if we check it out?”, she said, trying to distract them.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got all  _ The Doors _ and some  _ Jimi Hendrix  _ albums but I got lots of 80’s too.”, he said as they walked out of the dark room, into the living room. “Need me to top off that drink?”, he asked her.

“Yeah, I’ll take one more, thanks.”, she said, handing him her glass. 

Hotch stepped in front of her and took a sip from his own drink. “I’m so sorry you had to see those.”, he laughed.

“Are you kidding? I loved it. I know I’m probably one of the only people who gets to see the happy, fun side of you because you’re always so serious at work. But it was still nice to see that you weren’t always that way. Looking at how happy you were then. You were so cute.”, she giggled. 

“Oh! And I’m not  _ now? _ ”, he asked.

“No, you’re still adorable!”, she laughed. 

“You were just so cute then. So much younger and doing some wild things. You looked so happy and free.”, she said. “And that hair...”, she raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I don’t really miss  _ that _ .”, he said. 

“I don’t really miss mine from the 80’s either.”, she laughed. 

“Alright, here ya go.”, Carson said, handing Emily her drink. They walked over to the record player and put on _ Louder Than Bombs _ by The Smiths. 

After listening to more music and catching up with each other, they realized how late it was and decided to head out. 

“Hey, I think we’re gonna head out. It’s pretty late and we got work tomorrow...”, Hotch said. 

“Oh yeah, of course. Go home, get some rest.”, Carson said, walking them to the door. 

Carson gave Hotch a big hug and then turned to Emily and gave her one too.

“Emily, it was lovely to meet you. Let’s get together again soon. I’m free pretty much anytime. Maybe if you’re not out of town or on a case, next weekend might work?”, he asked.

“Sounds good. We’ll plan on it for now but I’ll let you know if we have to leave before then.”, Hotch said.

“Can’t wait. Thanks again for coming tonight, you guys. Drive safe, alright?”, Carson said.

“Alright man, it was good to see you.”, Hotch said.

“It was wonderful meeting you, have a goodnight.”, Emily said, flashing him a huge smile. 

They walked downstairs and once they got outside, Hotch stopped. He turned in front of Emily and grabbed her, pulling her in for a kiss. 

“I’m glad we could do this tonight. It felt nice being a normal couple out in public.”, he said.

“I had a lot of fun. And speaking of which... you introduced me as your girlfriend. Was that just to make him back off when he was flirting with me or...?”, she trailed off.

“Well there was that, but also because you are. I mean, I guess we haven’t really talked about that but it doesn’t seem like we aren’t or that we’re something else... I’m sorry. Should I not have said that?”, he asked.

“I’m glad you did.”, she smiled, wrapping her arms around his lower back and planting her lips on his.

“Mmmm. Good. Because I like the way it sounds and the fact that you’re  _ mine _ .”, he smiled.

“Well you don’t  _ own _ me.”, she laughed.

“No. But I like being the only one who gets to kiss you and make love to you and have evenings and dates like this with you and fall asleep at night next to you.  _ I do like that. _ ”, he said, smiling at her. 

“I like that too.”, she grinned, moving in for another kiss with his hand on her back and the other on her face.

He raised his eyebrows and changed his tone of voice to seductive. “So, what do you say we go back to my house and-“, his phone ringing cut him off. He sighed and pulled it out of the inside of his suit pocket.

“Hotchner.”, he answered. “Right now?... Alright, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes.”, he said, hanging up. 

“We got a case.”Emily said, disappointed, not even asking because she knew by now whenever he got a phone call like that and used that voice, it was always a case.

“Yeah...”, he sighed.

She stood there, waiting, knowing she was about to get a call too. Once she did and hung up, they  _ both _ sighed.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll just have to say I went out with some friends or something. I don’t have time to go home and change.”, she said.

“You look way too fancy to have just gone out with some friends.”, he said. 

“Okay well, how about I just tell them the truth?”, she said.

“ _ What?! Emily.. _ .”, he said.

“Not the  _ whole _ truth!”, she laughed. “God, Aaron. You really think I’d do that?”, she giggled. “No, I mean I’ll say I went out on a blind date or something. And you can say you were at an art gallery for a show your friend had some work in. That way you’re not completely lying either.”, she said.

“Won’t they ask you questions about this blind date you had.”, he said.

“Not if I tell them I’m not going to see him again because he was really dull, no fun, a bad kisser...”, she teased.

“I really hope you don’t finish that sentence and that none of those things are actually true.”, he said.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you show me?”, she said, pulling him closer and biting her lip, smiling. He laughed and slowly brought his lips to hers. 

“Alright, I guess I  _ will _ have to lie about a couple things.”, she said.

“Damn right.”, he said.

They both laughed and let go of each other, interlacing their fingers with one another’s and walked the rest of the way back to his car. 

They got in and drove to the BAU, nervous about people getting there before them and risking being seen with each other. 

Once they got to the parking lot, they looked around to make sure no one was nearby. “There goes our night of whatever you had in mind back there.”, she said. 

“At least we got to finish our date this time.”, he told her.

“True but I didn’t get to do everything I wanted tonight...”, she smirked.

“You can’t talk like that here. You know how crazy you make me.”, he said.

“That’s why I do it.”, she giggled. 

“I’m getting out now.”, he said, shutting her down.

“Awww come on.”, she said following him. 

She wanted to grab onto his arm but kept her hands away from him. _ This would be an interesting first case as a couple. _ They thought. Being out of town together, at a hotel, around other people. 

They both couldn’t help but wonder if the same thing that happened that one night the last time, would happen again.

  
  



	35. "Blind Dates"

  
  


**Chapter 35**

  
  


* * *

Hotch and Emily walked into the BAU together, making sure not to touch each other. Once they got in the elevator alone, he reached for her hand and held it tight.

“You got your story straight?”, he asked.

“Yeah, you?”, she asked.

“Yep.”, he said.

Once the elevator doors opened, they released their hands from each other. 

They walked to the doors for the entrance to the bullpen. He held the door open for her and put his Unit Chief face on, emotionless. They saw everyone at their desk and JJ in the conference room.

“Well, I guess we didn’t beat everyone else here after all.”, Hotch said.

“Nope. Looks like everyone beat us here.”, Emily said.

They walked in and JJ came out once she saw them and walked down the steps to them. Everybody else glanced over and gave them strange looks.

“There you guys are. What took you so long? Whoa, Emily! Look at you. Where are you coming from?”, JJ asked. 

“Blind date.”, Emily said.

“Oh, well, I expect to hear more about that later.”, JJ winked at her. “Hotch, nice suit. Is it new?”, she asked awkwardly. 

Trying to keep his composure, he said, “No, I just don’t wear this one to work typically. I went to an art show at a gallery my friend had some work in so I wore something a bit different. I guess it’s not too different than my normal attire though...”, he said, looking down at it. 

“Well you both look very nice. Um, I’ve got pretty much everything set up. I was just going to get the rest of the team together. So come on up and we’ll get started.”, JJ said, walking away.

Once everyone’s eyes were off of them and walked upstairs, they followed.

“I’m just going to run into my office real quick and set this down but I’ll be back in a minute.”, he said, motioning to his briefcase. 

“Alright, see you in a minute.”, she said.

Emily walked in and everybody looked at her again. “Well, well. Look at you Princess, where are you coming from?”, Derek asked with a huge grin on his face.

“Blind date, like I told JJ.”, she said.

“Oh girl, spill. How’d it go? Where did he take you? Was he cute? Is he smart? Did he hold the door for you? Did he pay? You know how I am when it comes to gentlemen.”, Garcia probed.

Emily laughed, “Calm down. We went to a fancy restaurant that I don’t even remember the name of which is fine because I’m not going to see him again.”, she said.

“What? Why not?! What did he do?”, Garcia asked.

“Well...”, she started and stopped once Hotch walked in behind her and sat down next to her. 

She looked at him and pretended to act awkward and shy. “Go on Prentiss. JJ is still in the bathroom. We have a minute.”, Hotch said with a plain look on his face even though they both wanted to laugh.

“Okay, well, he was very handsome and obviously cared enough to dress up nicely. But all he did was talk about himself and he wasn’t even that interesting. Just a huge ego and he could barely keep his eyes up here the whole time.”, she said, pointing to her face. 

She felt Hotch lightly nudge her leg with his after she said that and clear his throat which made her almost let out a giggle. “Didn’t really feel a connection either so I already deleted his number.”, she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“He’s lucky I wasn’t there. I would’ve-“, Derek started.

“Yeah, yeah, macho man. We get it. He was just a narcissist who was probably impotent and had mommy issues so...”, she said. Hotch nudged her leg again, with his hand over his mouth while looking down at a case file to keep from laughing. 

“Well, I might know a couple people to set you up with if you want.”, Garcia said.

“Oh, you know, I’m probably fine but thank you. I’ll let you know if I change my mind though.”, Emily said. Garcia nodded as JJ walked back in.

“Alright guys. We got another serial killer. New Orleans. 5 men have been found...”, JJ kept on while Hotch whispered over to Emily, “That last part better not have been true.”, he quirked an eyebrow.

“I had to get the idea from somewhere.”, she whispered back.

He gave her a stern look and she winked at him before she looked back towards JJ at the front. Once they were done reviewing the case, Hotch stood up and said, “Alright, we’re headed to New Orleans. Wheels up in 20.”

They all packed up their things and headed out to the SUV’s. Hotch and Emily decided to drive together. 

“Wait, Aaron, I need my go-bag.”, she said once they got in the car.

“I got it for you in the back.”, he pointed.

“Oh, thank god. I was not ready to run around in these all day or stay in this dress.”, she said.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did.”, he said.

“Yeah, I’m sure you wouldn’t.”, she laughed.

“Em...”, he said.

“Yeah?”, she asked.

“You don’t really think I have a huge ego or am a narcissist, do you?”, he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Noooo, of course not.”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, I was just teasing.”

“I know you were... but you know, a lot of people think I do and think that I am and... I know you’d be honest with me.”, he said.

“Aaron, you do not have a huge ego. You are not a narcissist. I wouldn’t be with you if you were. You haven’t shown a side like that at all to me but trust me, if you did, you know that I would let you know.”, she told him.

“Okay, good. Because I want to treat you fair and show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I want you to know that I put you before me.”, he said.

“Aaron, don’t say that. You can’t put me before yourself with everything.”, she said.

“Emily, I love you. I’ll be damned if I let anything hurt you.”, he said, looking over at her briefly.

“Well, I don’t need you to protect me.”, she said.

“Emily, I take care of you. Sure, not because I have to but because I want to. I want to take care of you. And I don’t just mean in bed...”, he smirked. She smacked his arm and they both giggled once they had finally parked.

Later, on the jet, they’d finished reviewing the case more and they were all relaxing. Hotch was still looking over a file when Reid and Derek fell asleep. Emily and Hotch sat on the couch next to each other while JJ sat across from them in her own seat. 

“So... who is she?”, JJ asked Hotch.

“Who’s who?”, he asked.

“Oh come on. There’s no way you got a suit like that just to go to an art gallery by yourself. So who is she?”, JJ asked again, raising an eyebrow.

Emily looked over at him too and he made eye contact with her before looking back at JJ. 

“Yeah, Hotch. _Who’s the girl?_ ”, Emily asked, teasing him.

“Fine. There’s a girl. Ever since Haley left, I’ve been trying to go out a bit more. My friend who had some art in the show said he knew a girl and that she’d be there, told me to wear a nice suit, so I did and I think we might be going out again. There. _Happy?_ ”, he said with a little chuckle.

“So what’s her name?”, JJ teased him.

“Oh, no, no, no... I’m not going to tell you guys that.”, he said.

“What! Why not? Come on, Hotch.”, Emily said.

He eyed her, almost warning her but she was loving it and smiled big.

“No, sorry. You guys are just going to have to live with the information you already have.”, he said.

“Fine. But I can have Garcia track your phone and get into all your messages just like that.”, JJ said snapping her fingers. 

“I can turn back to ‘ _boss mode’_ from ‘ _friend mode_ ’ right now.”, he said to her, raising an eyebrow.

They all laughed and Emily let out a big yawn. 

“Emily, why don’t you go take a power nap in one of the seats before we land?”, Hotch asked.

“No, no. It’s fine, I’m totally good.”, she said.

After a few minutes Emily got more and more tired and closed her eyes. Hotch and JJ continued to talk about the case again, not being able to sleep themselves. 

“Alright, that sounds good. Tomorrow morning or at least later in the morning, I guess, I’ll have Emily go with you and I to the station and Morgan and Reid can go to the crime scenes.”, Hotch said.

“Does that sound good, Emily?”, JJ asked. When Emily didn’t respond, JJ looked up at her. Emily had fallen asleep and rested her head on Hotch’s shoulder. He seemed completely oblivious to it and JJ became confused.

“Hotch.”, JJ said, bringing his attention up to her.

“What?”, he asked.

JJ’s eyes went to Emily and Hotch followed her gaze to his shoulder. He hadn’t even realized Emily’s head was there. He was just so used to her touch that it didn’t make him flinch anymore when he wasn’t paying attention.

He had no idea what to do in that moment. He wanted to stroke her hair and give her a kiss on her head but obviously he wasn’t able to do that. 

He had to act like he felt uncomfortable and professional, as if it were anyone else.

“Emily.”, he said, looking back at JJ’s wide eyes. She shrugged awkwardly. “Emily.”, he said a bit louder.

She still didn’t wake up, but instead, nuzzled her head into his shoulder even more. He thought it was so sweet and then he wanted to hold her close and let her continue to sleep. But he couldn’t. He kept his hands on the case file on his lap. 

He cleared his throat and said a bit louder, “Agent Prentiss.” Finally, she woke up, her eyes still closed.

“Mmmm sorry. Was I snoring again?”, she said. She brought her head up and slowly opened her eyes, yawning. She looked ahead at JJ and her heart stopped. She panicked and looked confused until she realized where she was and what was happening, which only took about three seconds. She looked over at Hotch next to her, staring at her with fear in his eyes but trying to act like he was her boss in that moment. She knew his body language and facial expressions by now, including panic which she was starting to feel herself.

“Uh no, Prentiss. No, you were not snoring. You _did_ fall asleep on my shoulder though... Maybe you should go take a power nap like I suggested...”, Hotch told her.

Even at work, he didn’t always call her “ _Prentiss_ ”. Sometimes it was just random, sometimes it was when he was serious, but she knew right now that it was.

“I’m so sorry, sir. That uh- you’re right. I’m just going to grab some water real quick, stretch my legs, wake up more.”, she said, getting up and walking to the back. 

He watched her walk away and stared at her legs and backside until he snapped out of it. He brought his attention back to JJ, hoping she didn’t notice where his eyes went. 

“Well... I wonder if there really _was_ a _blind_ date after all...”, she said.

Hotch panicked. “What?”, he asked.

“She said she had a blind date but she just asked if she was snoring again and in that cutesy way... there was no _blind date._ There’s someone she’s waking up to who has told her she snores.”, JJ chuckled.

“I’m sure it was nothing.”, he tried to reassure her.

“Mmmmm I don’t think so. Hotch, you’ve trained us pretty well. I may not be a profiler but I know how to profile pretty well by now... She’s definitely seeing someone. I mean, look at what she’s wearing. A girl doesn’t get dressed up like that for a guy she’s never met. This wasn’t a first date.”, she said.

“Who knows.”, he said, giving up, both of them slipping into silence. 

Emily came back out with a water bottle and sat down across from JJ. If her and Hotch weren’t together and he was just her boss, she would’ve been extremely embarrassed but they were. She didn’t feel embarrassed but she had to act like it. If anything, she felt nervous and panicked that JJ would have picked up on something. Hotch got up and went to the bathroom, giving the girls alone time to talk. 

“Okay, so now I’m going to have to do the same thing I did with Hotch... Who’s the guy?”, JJ asked.

“What? What guy?”, Emily panicked.

“Oh my god. Emily. There is someone you wake up to who hears you snore. There’s a guy. There was never any blind date. So who is it? And why didn’t you want anyone to know about him?”, JJ asked.

“Fine. There’s a guy and I didn’t want anyone to know about it because I’m not sure what it is yet. Okay? Just let it go.”, Emily pleaded.

“ _Emily!_ He’s sleeping with you and my guess is staying the night too based on the fact that he hears you SNORE! I know you. I know you wouldn’t just have _any_ guy stay the night. Or dress up like that for just _any_ guy.”, JJ said.

“JJ stop, okay? I just don’t want to talk about it. I’m exhausted and I like being able to share my personal life with you but not yet on this, okay? I’m sorry.”, Emily said.

“Alright, fine. I won’t ask anymore.”, JJ said, putting her hands up and leaning back in her seat.

  
  


Once they landed and got back to the hotel, Emily sat alone in her room. Too tired to change out of her clothes just yet, she reached for her phone and called Hotch. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hey, why aren’t you asleep?”, he asked.

“Because I’m too tired to get changed.”, she whined.

“Which is even more reason for you to just get changed quick and go to sleep.”, he said.

“Will you come help me?”, she asked.

“Emily, your tone is like a helpless child. You can get changed yourself.”, he chuckled.

“ _Pleeeaaaseee?_ ”, she begged.

He sighed, “Alright fine. I’ll be over in a second.”

Less than a minute later, she heard a knock on the door and groaned while she sat up to get it. She opened the door and let Hotch in, who was already in his pajama pants and a t-shirt. Once the door closed, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

She already took her shoes off and headed towards the bed to sit down.

“Alright, first, turn around.”, he ordered.

He undid the zipper to her dress and let it fall to the ground. He placed a kiss on her shoulder and turned her around, planting a kiss on her lips.

“Sit. I’ll grab your pajamas.”, he said. 

Right as she sat down, she unhooked her bra and threw it at him. “Hey. Watch it.”, he said, pointing a finger at her, not looking in her direction.

“I don’t need any pajamas if you stay in here tonight.”, she giggled.

“Yes, you do because I’m not.”, he said turning around. He stared at her for a second before he started walking towards her. “As much as I want to right now...”, he laughed, shaking his head. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her and grabbed the t-shirt he was holding. He helped it over her head, pulling it down and her arms through the sleeves. 

“Here.”, he said, handing her a pair of shorts and underwear. She took them but grabbed him down by his shirt with her fast, laying on her back. She pulled him back down with her, smiling before she placed her lips on his. 

“Emily...”, he said. She wrapped her legs around his waist and put her hands on his face, kissing him again. “ _Emily_.”, he said again.

“Ughh what!”, she said, frustrated.

“We need to talk about earlier.”, he told her.

She sighed and scooted up to the head of the bed as he followed. He put his arm around her as they laid back.

“Listen, JJ gave me a really weird look when you fell asleep on my shoulder earlier. I know you couldn’t help it. You were asleep. But... it still seemed off and... when you said the thing about snoring... I’m surprised she didn’t ask me how I knew you snored since you practically asked _me_ if you were doing it again. So...”, he said.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it! Even in my sleep, I guess I just want to cuddle up next to you.”, she said, scooting closer and cuddling him. He laughed and held her tight. 

“Yeah, I know but maybe next time when I say you should go to take a nap in another seat...”, he trailed off.

“I’ll go take a nap in another seat. I got it. Which... by the way...”, she started.

“What?”, he asked.

“JJ might know that there’s a guy now and it was more than just a blind date.”, she said.

“ _Might?_ As in, you _told_ her? She tried talking about it with me but of course I acted like I didn’t know.”, he said.

“Yeah, well, she pointed out a few things but I shut it down, so, I think we just need to be a little extra cautious but we’re fine, okay?”, she said.

“Alright. Alright, fine.”, he said, picking up her hand and kissing it. 

She rolled over and sat on his lap, straddling him with her hands on his neck. “Emily!”, he said.

“Oh, come on, Aaron. Live a little. I can feel that you’re _up_ for it.”, she giggled. 

“We can’t. We’re both exhausted. Well I _thought_ we both were. _Now_ I know you didn’t really need me to come help you get changed. Just to get _undressed_.”, he said.

“Come on, I know you want to. I can feel you wanting to. Just give in, babe.”, she bit her lip with a devilish smile and moved her hips against his lap.

He laughed, “ _Babe_. That’s a new one.”

“I’ll do all the work.”, she said.

“I hate having you do that. Like I told you earlier, I take care of you.”, he said.

“Well... how about tonight... I take care of _you_... and then you can still take care of me after but I’ll just do all the work.”, she said.

“I can’t let you do that.”, he said.

She pulled down his pants, grabbed him in her hand, and said, looking up in his eyes, “Too late.”

  
  



	36. IN Love

  
  


**Chapter 36**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  


“ _ Emily _ . I swear to- ohhhh.”, Hotch moaned.

“You were saying?”, Emily asked with a grin, pulling her mouth off of him.

“No, no. Don’t stop.”, he said, looking back down at her.

“That’s what I thought.”, she said.

She slid her mouth back on him, making him throw his head back onto the pillow.

As she kept going, he kept moaning. 

“God, Em. I didn’t know how good you were at this, fuck.”, he said through his teeth.

She pumped his shaft as she took him even further into her mouth till he was hitting the back of her throat.

“Okay, you have to stop.  _ Now _ .”, he said. 

She slowly brought her mouth back up and swirled her tongue around his head. 

She looked up at him and without breaking eye contact, she brought her tongue to the base and ran it up to his tip, making him twitch. She could feel his whole body tense.

“Get up here right now.”, he said, fists clenched.

“Is that an order?”, she teased.

“If you want it to be.”, he said.

“Yes.”, she stared at him not moving.

“I said, get up here  _ right now _ .”, he told her again.

She sat there staring at him with puppy dog eyes, teasing him more. He sighed and grabbed her, pulling her up to him and in his lap.

“You get me all excited and you’re just going to sit around and watch me squirm?”, he asked.

“Oh, absolutely.”, she nodded.

“Well I need you now, so quit fucking around and just-“, he stopped when she pulled her shirt off and he slid down her underwear immediately after. He pulled his own shirt off and could feel her wet against his thigh, where she was sitting on him. 

He brought his fingers down to her wet sex and ran his fingers along it, causing her to shudder. He eyed her carefully as he slid two fingers in, making her gasp and grab onto his shoulders. He moved them in and out of her at a slow, agonizing pace. She tried moving her hips against his fingers but he held her in place and continued, preventing her from moving her hips forward.

“Aaron... why did you- mmmm. Move your hand.”, she said.

“No.”, he said, defiant.

He curled his fingers in her, moving them forwards as she so desperately tried to move with it. “Aaron... I’m gonna come.”, she had trouble getting out, breathing so hard.

“I know babe, just do it. Let go.”, he said, moving his fingers faster.

She threw her head back and moaned. Before he had any more warning, he felt her body stop everything it was doing and then she called out his name.

He helped her ride out her high when she finally fell forward onto him, still sitting up. Her head over his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his neck. She grabbed the back of his head and kissed his neck.

“Ugh Aaron.”, she sighed.

“What?”, he said, pulling her head back and kissing her.

“You can’t possibly be that good at everything.”, she said. 

“Why don’t we test that theory?”, he said, flipping her over, making her squeal.

“Prove me wrong.”, she said.

“Oh, I definitely will.”, he smirked.

Before she could say anything else, he was inside her. “Fuck!”, she gasped. “Okay, I see how it is.”, she said.

“Uh huh? You do?”, he antagonized her.

“Yes. Come here.”, she said, pulling his face close to hers. She hesitated on purpose before she let their lips meet. 

He started moving in and out of her slowly.

“God, I can’t believe this.”, he said.

“Ahhhh... what?”, she said.

“That you’re mine.”, he said, thrusting into her deep.

“Ah! Fuck.”, she gasped. “I’m all yours.”, she said. 

“You are. Nobody else’s.”, he said, going faster.

“No... just yours.”, she said.

“I’m the only one who gets to do this.”, he said, bringing his lips down to her neck and sucking hard. 

“Only one.”, she whispered.

“Did you pack a turtleneck?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she exhaled as he thrusted into her again.

“Good.”, he grinned against her neck. 

His mouth crashed against it again and he nipped at her skin as he picked up the pace. She moaned, trying not to be loud but couldn’t help it and bit her lip in attempts to keep herself quiet.

He sucked hard on her neck all around and brought his hands to the sides of her ass. She wrapped her legs around his waist and brought her arms under his to grab onto his shoulders, keeping him close.

“Oh my-“, she couldn’t finish her sentence. 

“Shhhh.”, he hushed her.

“Mmm mmm mmm mmm.”, she kept her mouth shut tight, trying to hold it all in.

After a while, she was close. “God Aaron, I can’t hold on much longer.”, she said, grabbing his shoulders strong.

“Fuck, Em, you’re so hot.”, he panted.

“Please, Aaron. Come for me.”, she begged.

“Ugh.”, he grunted. “Shit, I’m gonna come...”, he said.

“ _ Pleaseeee _ . Please come for me.”, she said. 

He chuckled, out of breath, “I’m not going alone, hun.” 

“Then fuck me hard.”, she panted, bringing her mouth to his ear and lightly bit it.

He started pounding in and out hard.

“Ah. Ah. Ah. Yes, right there, right there.”, she said. She whimpered and moaned, “Oh my god! Yes!”

He felt her tightening around his length.

Finally he felt her release it all and started moaning his name. She started loud but he covered her mouth with his to muffle her cries of pleasure while he went tumbling over the edge. 

“Mmmmmm.”, he moaned into her mouth. 

She felt him emptying everything into her and couldn’t help but smile, knowing she was the only one who he got to do that to.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. He finally stopped moving once he was done. He brought his lips back to her neck and kissed it all around.

Both of out of breath, he said, “How the fuck do you do this to me?”

“Do what?”, she laughed.

“Make me fall in love with you.”, he said.

“You’re in love with me?”, she asked, quietly.

He brought his face back to hers and kissed her, keeping his head and nose pressed against and next to hers when he pulled his lips away.

“Well, yeah...”, he smiled.

She blushed and it wasn’t just from all the heat still there from the aftermath of the orgasm.

“You’re in love with me because we have  _ good sex _ ?”, she asked.

“No... we have good sex  _ because _ I am in love with you.”, he told her, brushing the hair out of her face.

“Oh. That’s a lot sweeter than my initial thought.”, she giggled.

“Emily...”, he laughed. “You didn’t seriously think I would say that just because you gave me an orgasm, did you?”, he said, still laughing.

“I don’t know...”, she trailed off, looking over to the side. 

He became still and pulled out of her, getting under the bed sheets.

“I didn’t think you were spending the night in here.”, she said, turning off the light next to the bed and climbing under the covers, laying next to him.

“I changed my mind.”, he said, pulling her closer. “Emily, was there ever someone who didn’t make you feel like you were loved by them after sex?”, he asked. 

“Yeah, of course. It happens all the time to girls. Guys are pigs.”, she said.

“Em...”, he started, stroking the hair out of her face and continuing on her cheek.

“You should always feel loved by the person you’re sharing one of the most intimate moments you can with. Men should respect you and that.”, he said.

“Yeah, well... it doesn’t always happen. Please... I don’t want to talk about this right now.”, she said.

“You never want to talk about anything... I know you’re a private person but please open up to me about something...”, he said.

She eyed him and he saw something in her eyes. He couldn’t tell if it was anger or frustration or sadness or fear or something else completely.

“Em, I’m sorry... I-“, he started but she cut him off.

“Aaron, you know I’m a private person. You’ve known that the whole time and now suddenly that we’re together, you think I’ll just give up all my secrets and talk about all my feelings that go along with them and the rest of my private life. Well,  _ you’re _ the biggest one.  _ You’re _ my biggest secret. So, not only do you  _ know _ about it but you’re  _ part _ of it. But you need more... I don’t know what else to give you.”, she said.

“I’m sorry, are you mad at me?”, he asked.

“No... no, I’m not. I’m sorry. I love you, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”, she sighed, stroking his hair. 

“I just want to be here for you, because... I’m not like all those other men. I love you. And I won’t stop letting you know how much. I don’t just want sex. I want everything. Everything there is with you. Everything  _ about _ you. You’re so special. And anyone who has ever told you otherwise, is wrong and doesn’t deserve you.”, he said.

“What the hell Aaron.”, she laughed and sniffled, wiping away a tear. 

“I’m sorry, hun. I didn’t mean to make you cry... I just needed you to know all that. I will  _ never _ do anything to hurt you.”, he said, running his hand up and down her back.

“I know. You’re probably one of the only men I’ve ever trusted completely in my life. Well... except for that time you almost died on me, I mean...”, she laughed.

“Hey! That was not my fault!”, he said.

She laughed and scooted into his arms, and said, “I know. You just really scared the shit out of me and you’re not allowed to do that again. After all that we’ve already been through, I can’t lose you. You have to be more careful.”

“I’ll try my best.”, he said, giving her a kiss. 

“Good. Now, you can go back to your room.”, she said turning over.

“Yeah, I’m not going back to my room now.”, he said.

“Why not?”, she asked.

“Because I’m staying right here with you.”, he said, curling up behind her. “Giving you kisses, falling asleep next to you, holding you, is much better than sleeping alone.”, he said.

“Fine. You’ll have to deal with my snoring then.”, she said.

“I think I’ll survive.”, he chuckled, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “Oh and uh- wear that turtleneck tomorrow. Your neck is kind of covered in hickeys.”, he said.

“I think I’ll survive...”, she giggled, mocking him.

“Goodnight, Em. I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said.

  
  
  



	37. "Is There Someone In Your Room?"

  
  


**Chapter 37**

  
  


* * *

Emily woke up to the sound of a knock on the door of her hotel room in the middle of the night. “Emily? It’s JJ.”, she said from the other side.

Emily’s eyes shot open. She rolled out of Hotch’s arms immediately, waking him up.

“Em? What are you doing?”, he asked, sitting up.

“Shhh. JJ’s at the door.”, she told him, getting out of bed. “Just a minute!”, she called out to JJ.

“What? What is JJ doing here?”, he whispered, barely awake.

“I don’t know.”, she said.

She threw on her pajama shorts and her t-shirt. She walked to the door and opened it, just a crack.

“JJ, what’s going on? It’s like 2:00 in the morning.”, Emily said.

“Whoa, girl. What happened to your neck?”, JJ asked.

“Doesn’t matter right now. What’s going on?”, Emily asked again.

“Alright... more on  _ that _ later... Do you know where Reid is?”, JJ asked.

“What? No. Is he not in his room?”, Emily asked.

“No. I saw him walking out an hour ago when I was going to grab ice. He hasn’t come back yet and he won’t answer my calls or texts. He’s been acting really weird lately. I only have one idea of what he could be doing at this time of night...”, JJ said.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. Do you want me to call Garcia to check his location?”, Emily asked.

“Emily you know something’s been going on with him...”, JJ said.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve definitely noticed. He’s kind of snarky towards me... well a lot actually. Why, what are you thinking?”, she asked.

JJ looked all around the hallway. “Can I come in? I don’t know if we should talk about this right here.”, JJ said.

“Um actually, why don’t we go get a coffee somewhere? Get out of here.”, Emily said.

“Is there someone in your room?”, JJ whispered. 

“No, I just think we should get out. Maybe we’ll look for Reid while we’re out. That sound alright?”, she asked.

“Yeah, sure. I’m just really worried. I think he’s using again and we need to find him before it gets even worse.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed some signs for that... alright. Let me get changed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”, Emily said. 

“Alright.”, JJ said, walking away.

Emily closed the door and scurried over to her bag. She grabbed a scarf that she was so thankful she packed, jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. She had an excuse, seeing as it was rainy out and actually somewhat chilly.

“Okay, listen, I’m going to go out with JJ. You can stay in here if you want, okay?”, she said to Hotch, pulling on her jeans.

“Reid is using?  _ Again? _ As in he was _ before? _ And is  _ now? _ ”, he asked her.

“Aaron... you’re in here as my boyfriend. Not my boss.”, she said throwing a different shirt on.

“I can’t ignore information like that, Emily...”, he said.

“Well you have to because you never heard it because you were never here.”, she said.

“Emily...”, he started.

“Aaron, I can’t have this discussion right now. I’m sorry. I gotta go.”, she said, finished getting dressed and leaning over to kiss him. “I love you. Sleep. I’ll be back.”, she told him, patting his leg when she walked away.

She walked out the door and headed downstairs. She met JJ by the front and they took the elevator down to the parking garage. JJ got in the driver's seat and they headed to a bar. 

“I thought we were going to get coffee.”, Emily said.

“Well, Reid went to this bar or lounge last time we were here on a case. Remember how he went disappearing at weird hours that time too? I know he had a friend who plays music here and he came here a few times.”, JJ said.

“JJ, you really think he’s using again?”, Emily asked

“I don’t know what to think but he’s acting weird and it started right when we got here. Well, a bit before that but it really hit different once we got here.”, JJ said.

“It’s gonna be okay.”, Emily said.

They pulled into the parking lot and went inside to the lounge. They ordered 2 scotch’s and saw Reid across the room, watching his friend play music at the front. JJ started walking over but Emily stopped her.

“No. Not yet. Give him some space. He’s not doing anything right now. Sit here and we’ll talk.”, Emily said.

JJ sighed and looked over at her, sitting back down. “Fine. So, want to tell me why you have hickeys all over your neck while we’re on a case?”, she asked, sipping her drink.

“Okay, let’s talk about something else...”, Emily said.

“No. Who could you have possibly met while we are working a case that you would bring up to your hotel room? Besides, aren’t you seeing someone?”, JJ asked.

“Sort of. We aren’t exclusive.”, Emily lied.

“ _ Alriiight _ ... and why not?”, JJ asked.

“I didn’t want to be.”, Emily said.

“Didn’t want to be? As in, now you do?”, JJ said.

Realizing what she had just said, she had to stop lying completely. 

“Yeah, alright, fine. We’ve talked about it. I’m still not sure.”, Emily said.

“Emily! You just slept with another guy. You better make up your mind because you can’t keep doing that if you want to be with him.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t know what I was doing, honestly. The whole time, I was thinking about the guy I  _ am _ seeing. I think I really like him...”, she said.

“You should let him know that. Now. Go call him. While you still have a little bit of liquid courage in you.”, JJ said.

“Okay, fine.”, Emily laughed.

She walked off to the side and decided to call Hotch anyways. It rang a few times and she thought he wouldn’t pick up and she would pretend to leave a voicemail but he did.

“Em, what’s going on?”, he asked, groggy.

“You  _ do _ realize how cute you sound when you wake up, right?”, she giggled, walking further away from JJ to where she couldn’t hear her.

“Yeah, you’ve told me once or twice.”, he chuckled. “Did you find Reid?”, he asked.

“Yeah, we did. We’re just watching him from across the lounge. He’s safe, he looks fine. But you have to pretend you didn’t hear any of that.”, she said.

“Emily...”, he started.

“Aaron. How would you explain that you knew that or how you found out?”, she asked him.

“I don’t know. But if anyone were to find out that I  _ did _ know and did nothing about it...”, he said.

“Well, we’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”, she told him.

He sighed and scratched his head. “Can you just come back already? I’m feeling very lonely.”, he said.

“Oh, poor baby. You’re feeling lonely?”, she teased him.

“Yes. Yes, I am. And I want you here with me. So, just come back so I can wrap my arms around you and give you kisses till you fall asleep.”, he said.

“What else did you have in mind?”, she asked him.

“Just that. So come back, I miss you.”, he said. 

She laughed, “Fine, I’ll see if we can leave soon. I love you.”, she said.

“Love you, too.”, he said. 

They hung up and she walked back over to JJ.

“So?”, JJ asked.

“I think we’re gonna give it a try.”, Emily faked her enthusiasm.

“Really?! That’s great. Okay now stop sleeping with random people you find downstairs at our hotel.”, JJ said. 

“Will do.”, Emily chuckled. 

After a few songs passed Reid was getting up to go to the bathroom and Emily and JJ walked over to him. He almost stumbled over when he stood up.

“Hey.”, JJ said.

“Emily, JJ. What are you guys doing here?”, he asked, slurring his words.

“We could ask you the same thing.”, Emily raised an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, we’ll talk about this more tomorrow. It’s really late. Let’s just get you back to the hotel.”, JJ said, putting her arm around him and helping him to the car.

They drove back to the hotel and helped him in his room. JJ turned around to face Emily and thanked her. She nodded and headed back to her room, dying to collapse on the bed and fall asleep.

She opened the door and saw Hotch spread across the bed, fast asleep.

She smiled and got changed into her pajama shorts and shirt. She shook him awake and looked down at him, still sprawled across the bed. 

“Hey, scoot over.”, she whispered.

“Mmmmmm”, he grumbled, still not moving.

She laughed and shoved him off to the side of the bed. “Bed hog.”, she said as she got under the covers and moved in close to him.

“Yeah, well, somebody wasn’t here for a while so I had it all to myself.”, he said.

“Yeah, well, someone is back now and wants to be able to have space to lay down on”, she said.

“Only if it’s in my arms as promised earlier.”, he said, reaching his arms around her. 

“I will not object to that.”, she smiled, bringing her lips to his. 

“How’d it go?”, he asked.

“We brought Reid back. He’s okay. That’s all I should really say though.”, she said.

“I’m too tired to pry anymore anyways. You’ve woken me up three times now.”, he said.

“I’m sorry! I-“, she said.

He stopped her with his lips and chuckled. “It’s okay, hun. I don’t care if you keep me up _ all night. _ But I would like to sleep now, if that’s alright with you.”, he said.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”, she joked.

“Mmmmm... I’ll think about it.”, he said.

“Shut up.”, she giggled, kissing him.

“No.”, he grinned, now, starting to kiss each other after every word they spoke.

“Stubborn.”, she said.

“Whiny.”, he teased.

“Most  _ amazing _ man I know.”, she said softly.

“Most  _ beautiful _ woman  _ I know _ .”, he said.

“Mmmm.”, she moaned into his lips. “I think I love you...”, she whispered, giggling.

“Really? I think I might love you too.”, he said, laughing.

“Good.”, she grinned, him doing the same back and going in for one last kiss. 

“Emily, can I ask you something? Be honest.”, he said.

“Always.”, she told him, rubbing his arm up and down.

“Didn’t you hate me when you first started at the BAU? I mean... I was such an ass to you that first day that you showed up in my office. How could you have possibly ended up falling in love with me?”, he asked.

“Because you’re amazing, Aaron. You’re an amazing man. I just told you that. There are so many reasons why. I’ll admit I was taken aback when you acted that way the first day, yes. But I knew who you really were. I knew you weren’t an ass. And your attitude  _ did _ change. How did I fall in love with you? I don’t know... but I did and I don’t think we need to question why or how. Because right now... we’re here together. In this bed, in each other’s arms and that’s good enough. Isn’t it?”, she said.

He looked at her for a while and kissed her forehead. “That’s good enough.”, he said. 

“Good. Because I  _ am _ tired and we only have a few more hours to sleep.”, she said.

“Alright. Get some rest, you need it.”, he said.

She hugged his body and rested her head on his chest. “Goodnight, I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said, hugging her right back.

  
  



	38. Misspoke and Interruptions

  
  


**Chapter 38**

  
  


**fair warning: light smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


At 6:00 am, the next morning, Emily’s alarm went off on her phone, waking her and Hotch up. 

“Turn it  _ offff _ .”, he grumbled, keeping his eyes shut.

Emily reached over and turned her alarm off and rolled over to face Hotch.

“How is it that you’re more tired than I am when I got less sleep than you?”, she asked.

“Because  _ my _ sleep was interrupted more than yours was.”, he said.

“Well, I might know one thing that’ll wake you up.”, she said, beginning to kiss his neck. She ran her hand up his chest and his lips spread into a smile, eyes still closed.

“Mmmmhmmmhmmm.”, he laughed with his mouth closed. 

She took his hand and guided it up, under her shirt and placed it on her breast. His hand instantly grabbed her and he opened his eyes as she brought her face to his.

“Thought that might do the trick.”, she said. 

He brought his other hand up and lifted her shirt off. He brought his hand to her face and his lips to hers. She slid her shorts and underwear down and pulled him closer until he rolled on top of her. 

“I’m definitely awake now.”, he said.

“I can  _ tell _ .”, she said. She brought her hand down as he continued to kiss her. She grabbed his almost hard member and started to stroke it while he moaned. 

After a minute, he grabbed it and ran it up and down her wet folds. He lined himself up with her entrance and slowly slid in. She gasped and he paused, giving her a second before he went on. 

“I like waking up to this. I could get used to it.”, he laughed.

“Good.”, she replied, kissing him.

He was still too tired for anything wild so he started out slow and mainly kept it that way. He brought his lips to her neck and kissed her all the way to her collarbone and going back up while she ran her fingers through his hair slowly.

After ten minutes, he pulled away from a kiss and kept moving in and out of her. He looked in her eyes and said to her, “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Mmmhmm.”, she whimpered and smiled, slowly bringing him back down for a kiss. 

Not a minute later, there was a knock on the door, causing them to break from their kiss and stop what they were doing.

“Wha- who the hell is that?”, he said out of breath.

“I don’t know. Just wait for them to leave.”, she whispered. 

They waited a moment and she pulled him back down for a kiss but before their lips could touch there was another knock at the door. 

“I swear to-“, he started, frustrated.

“Hold on.”, she said to him.

“Who is it?”, she called out, keeping her voice steady, holding the back of his neck.

“Um, it’s Reid. I’m sorry if I woke you... can we talk?”, Reid called back from the other side of the door.

“Shit.”, she whispered.

“You’ve got to be  _ kidding _ me.”, Hotch whispered to her, reluctantly pulling out and sitting up. He ran his fingers through his hair.

Emily sat up and grabbed her shirt, pulling it on. “Yeah. Hold on.”, she called back to Reid. She finished getting her pajamas back on and crawled up to Hotch. “I’m sorry. Just give me a minute.”, she told him, giving him a quick kiss. 

She hopped off the bed and ran over to the door and unlocked it, only to turn the lock again once she opened it to make sure she could get back inside. She stepped out into the hall, standing in front of Reid.

“Reid, what’s going on?”, she asked.

He tried hard not to stare at her neck but ultimately failed. “ _ Reid _ . What’s up?”, she asked, bringing his attention back to her question.

“Sorry. Um... I just wanted to thank you for last night... I really didn’t want you guys to see me like that but I’m glad you were there... I’m really sorry. I just- I’ve been under a lot of stress lately? And I guess I’ve been having these... triggers? lately and being back in New Orleans made it worse since last time we were here, I wasn’t... you know... doing my best, I guess. I messed up and I relapsed and it was a mistake. A big one and you know me. I believe in science but... I really feel like maybe this was the universe’s way of letting me know just how much of a mistake it was. I know I need to get some help... I kind of quit my therapist which may have had something to do with my slip up but I’m going back to him the minute we’re back home. But I just wanted to say thanks... for caring so much and helping me.”, he smiled shy. 

Emily rubbed his arm and gave him a soft look. “We love you. We’d do anything for each other. You’re family, Reid. Of course we care. We’re always here for you, okay?”, she said.

“I know. I just hate feeling like you guys have to take care of me. I’ve always felt like the baby in the whole group and everywhere I go but I guess it’s hard to handle this stuff on my own...”, he sighed.

“Of course it is. And it has nothing to do with you being the baby of the group. We don’t see you as that, you know? We don’t think of you any less as the rest of us. We all look up to you. You have so much going for you, Spencer... and you’ve already done so much and you  _ know so much _ .”, she emphasized, causing them both to laugh. “But really, you have so much to lose, I really hate seeing you suffer like this and resorting to unhealthy shit like that. We all believe in you. We know what you’re capable of. Which is great things, no matter what all those other people have said who used to tell you otherwise growing up. We’re just worried.”, she told him.

“I know, I know... No one else knows, right?”, he asked.

She almost hesitated because of the fact that Hotch  _ did _ know now but she blew past that. “Just me and JJ.”, she said.

“Okay, good...”, he nodded. “Alright, I’ll let you get back to getting ready but I just wanted to check in before everyone else was awake and we had time to talk privately.”, he said.

“Of course. I’m here for you anytime, okay?”, she said.

“Yeah. Thanks.”, he smiled, walking away. 

She stood there for a moment, watching him walk away and sighed before she stepped back inside. She walked past the bathroom and stepped back to it when she saw Hotch in his pajamas, splashing water on his face. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry... Did you want to-“, she started.

“No. We should get ready.”, he said, without turning to face her.

“Aaron. Look, I’m sorry he interrupted us but we can-“, she started again.

“No, we can’t, Emily. Besides, after hearing everything you guys just said...”, he shook his head while drying it off. 

She looked down and said, “You know I can’t talk about that with you...”, she said.

He turned to face her and let out, “Emily! I just found out that one of my agents had a serious drug problem almost a year ago that was never reported and has now  _ relapsed?! While we’re on a case?!  _ And now I can’t do anything about it because like you said, I wouldn’t be able to explain  _ how _ I knew about it or give any evidence for it. Emily, this puts me in a  _ horrible _ position here. It’s my  _ duty _ to report this. But I can’t. Can you at least understand where I’m  _ coming from?  _ Can you understand  _ why _ I’m a  _ little pissed? _ ”, he asked her, walking past her back to the bed and sitting down on the edge.

She followed him and got up on the bed behind, scooting up against him, letting her legs hang off the end around his. She started rubbing his shoulders as he dropped his head and she planted kisses on his neck. 

“It’s okay. I understand where you’re coming from. You have  _ every _ right to be pissed about this. I’m sorry. I really wish you didn’t have to hear that...”, she said.

“This is just one reason why it’s not a good idea for us to be together...”, he said quietly.

She completely stopped what she was doing and turned him to face her. He shifted his body to her and sat on the bed, looking at her. He felt bad for what he had just said, seeing the hurt in her eyes and it being written all over her face.

“Em... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”, he apologized, reaching for her hand. 

“How  _ did _ you mean it then?”, she asked, voice wobbly.

“I don’t know. It just came out. It’s just another struggle we have to face, being together. I didn’t mean to say that we  _ shouldn’t _ be together though. I love you. I love being with you, okay? That’s...”, he looked down. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to change what we have. It’s just hard when it comes to things like this...”, he said.

She looked down and let a single tear fall. He felt horrible for being the cause of that and scooted all the way over to her. He pulled her in for a tight hug and held her until she returned it. 

“I’m sorry, Em.”, he said.

“I just don’t want to lose you. After everything we’ve been through... I can’t-“, she couldn’t finish her sentence, fearing she’d start crying more.

“I know, I know. I’m not going anywhere. You have me, Em. I’m not leaving.”, he told her, trying to bring her back to being at ease and reassuring her. 

“I just love you so much and I know this is hard but I don’t want us to just give up so easily.”, she sniffled, letting more tears come.

“It’s okay, hun. I’m right here. I’m not giving up, okay? I’m not giving up.”, he said in a hushed tone, stroking her hair with one hand and her back with the other. 

She nodded against his shoulder and her grip on him tightened. “Aaron... I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I’ve never felt this way before... you mean _ so much _ to me. And I don’t want to keep things from you but when it comes to  _ this _ , I can’t tell you everything. That’s not going to change.”, she said. 

“I know... me too. It’s okay...”, he whispered against her cheek and kissed the side of her head. “Let me take you out tonight.”, he said.

“Where?”, she asked.

“Just around here, the French Quarter. On Bourbon street, we’ll walk around, live music on the streets, good food.”, he said.

“Alright. That sounds nice.”, she smiled, pulling back to look at him. She placed her hand on his face and kissed him softly. 

“I  _ love _ you, Em.”, he said.

“I  _ know _ . I love you too.”, she said. 

“Okay. Good. Now let’s get ready. I have to go back to my room to do that but I’ll see you when we’re all out.”, he said, standing up.

“Okay.”, she said, following him to the door. “Are you okay? You know, back  _ down _ to normal?”, she laughed, eyes looking down.

“Yes, but maybe later we can finish what we started.”, he chuckled, planting a kiss on her lips.

“Sounds good.”, she smiled. “And again, I’m sorry about that.”, she said.

“It’s okay. Tonight will make up for it.”, he smiled and kissed her one last time before walking out. 

She closed the door and went to the bathroom to take a shower and got dressed after, making sure she wore her turtleneck.

  
  



	39. French Quarter Date

  
  


**Chapter 39**

* * *

  
  
  
  


Everyone was tired from work that day and headed back to the hotel at night.

Emily rode back with JJ and Hotch rode back alone. He met her at her room once he was changed into his regular clothes.

She opened the door and let him in.

“Hey.”, Emily smiled, bringing him in for a kiss.

“Hi.”, he smiled back. “You’re still in your work clothes. Are you going to change?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I just laid down for a minute but I’m getting changed right now. Thinking maybe I should keep this turtleneck on?”, she laughed.

“I think you should wear whatever you want, whether it’s that turtleneck or a scarf or something that doesn’t cover your neck. Although, it is supposed to be a bit chilly which is kind of rare here so...”, he trailed off.

“I’ll choose a different shirt but wear a thin, simple scarf.”, she said, pulling her shirt off.

“Sounds good.”, he said, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her from behind, feeling her bare stomach and sides. Feeling her soft skin, sending chills throughout her body.

“You know, we’ll never get out of here if you don’t stop.”, she told him.

“Maybe we should leave a little later than originally planned.”, he said, kissing her shoulder.

She looked up at the ceiling and laughed. “Yeah, I think we can make that work.”, she said, turning around and pushing him on the bed.

“ _ Finally _ . I’ve been waiting _ all day _ for you.”, he said, pulling her down with him. 

“Then this shouldn’t take too long.”, she smirked, falling on top of him, crashing her lips onto his. 

He immediately went for her pants, eager to shed the rest of their clothes off to finish what they had started earlier that morning before they were interrupted. 

  
  


Twenty minutes later, after they’d finished and were completely satisfied, they got dressed again.

“Shit, where’s my bra?”, she asked, searching all around for it.

He’d pulled on his pants and before he zipped them up, he picked up her bra from the ground off the side of the bed.

“Right here.”, he chuckled, holding it up. “You should be more careful with that.”, he joked.

“I’m not the one who threw it over there, now am I?”, she pointed out.

“Fair enough.”, he laughed, walking over to her, handing it back to her.

“Thank you.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss once she put it back on.

  
  


They finished getting dressed and she put on a sweatshirt and thin scarf, not wrapped around her neck but hanging off. She figured it was stylish enough to just wear but easy enough to cover up her neck if she needed to. 

“Alright, let’s go.”, she said as they walked out the door and headed to the stairs. 

It was an older hotel in the French Quarter they were all staying at and didn’t have elevators which was kind of nice. It gave it a more fun vibe to the whole experience. 

“You know, although it sucks that we have to sneak around all the time and can’t tell anyone about our relationship... I love how we get to have dates in so many different places. We literally get to travel all over and have a date in a different city all the time.”, he said.

“I guess you’re right. Although... the sneaking around  _ is _ kind of hot.”, she giggled, wrapping her arm around him and pulling herself into him closer.

“Well, looks like it’s going to stay that way for a long time then.”, he chuckled.

“A long time, huh? Have you... thought about us... you know... our relationship and where it’s going? Like advancing or in the future?”, she asked, hesitant.

“A little bit, I guess. I don’t know, I mean... we haven’t been in an  _ official _ relationship for long but... we’ve been involved for a while and I’ve loved you a lot longer than we’ve been together  _ officially _ . I don’t know. Have  _ you _ thought about it at all?”, he asked, as they stepped out onto the street, suddenly surrounded by live jazz music and crowds of people all around them.

“I’ve thought about how I  _ feel _ about you. I mean, like I told you this morning, I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love  _ you _ . I know it’s still early on and I know everything with Haley is obviously still fresh. That’s why I haven’t really pushed anything and I’m still not, I was just curious, I guess.”, she said lowering her head.

He stopped her along the side of the street next to a man playing the saxophone. He pulled her in close, facing him and put his hand on her face and his other on her side above her waist.

“Em, it’s okay. Communication is important, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about this stuff. I don’t want to hold anything back. We should be open about the things we  _ can _ , especially when it comes to  _ us _ and what we are. Don’t feel bad about it at all.”, he told her, giving her a kiss. 

She grabbed his jacket and held onto it. “I know. I just don’t want to seem like I’m trying to jump ahead too much because I’m  _ not _ .”, she said.

“I don’t think that at all. And even if you did, I still want to hear and know what you’re feeling and thinking about it. Okay?”, he said.

“Alright.”, she nodded, reaching up for another kiss.

“Good, now let's go get some food and keep walking around. I’ve actually never been here but I’ve always loved this type of atmosphere. You can’t find it anywhere else. Have you ever been here?”, he asked her, pulling out a couple dollars and dropping it for the man playing the saxophone. 

They kept walking and she reached for his hand, fingers intertwining. “Actually, yeah. I was here for a little bit when on an assignment at Interpol actually. It was one of my favorite places that I went.”, she said.

He looked over at her shocked. “You realize that’s probably the first thing you’ve told me about your work at Interpol, right?”, he said.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”, she said. “You know, a lot of it I can’t talk about but yeah, I’ve been here for an assignment.”, she said, nervous.

He squeezed her hand and looked straight ahead. “Maybe you should be the one taking me out tonight. Since you know the place better and all.”, he chuckled. 

“May _ be _ .”, she smiled. “I  _ do _ remember this  _ one _ place. Best Cajun food I’ve ever had. The gumbo...  _ so _ good. If it’s still here, it should be right around the corner.”, she said.

“Let’s do it.”, he said.

  
  


They walked around the corner and to her surprise, the restaurant was still there. They sat on the patio and watched the busy street, filled with music and laughter and reminders of  _ happy _ lives. Something they weren’t always so used to with everything they see all day with their job.

He reached over the table and took her hand, making her look up from the menu.

“I’m really glad we could do this tonight. I love being out with you. And thank you for showing me around here. I did last time, I guess it was your  _ turn _ anyways.”, he chuckled.

She smiled and stroked his hand. “Any chance I get to spend with you is good enough for me. I’m just glad we could do something fun.”, she said. 

He brought his hand back to the menu and the server came around to take their order. Shortly after, before him and Emily got too deep into conversation, he stopped and his eyebrows furrowed. She knew that look.

“Aaron, what is it?”, she asked quietly.

“Emily, did you bring your gun?”, he whispered, letting her know to keep her voice at the same level.

“Yeah, why?”, she asked, suddenly worried. 

“Our unsub. 15 yards behind me.”, he said through his teeth, darting his eyes and motioning his head slightly behind him. “I think. Does he have the tattoo? Can you see it?”, he asked.

She looked over at the man in the crowd with a knife at a woman’s back. No one else noticed, he hid it pretty well and the woman was silent. Emily and Hotch both stayed calm and continued on as if nothing was wrong.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s there. How did you know?”, she whispered, still eyeing the man who stayed in place, blending in with everyone else. She slowly reached for her gun in the back of her pants. 

“I could hear them talking.”, he said, also slowly reaching for  _ his _ gun from the holster around his ankle under his jeans.

Once they had them out, they kept them down and slowly walked over, closer to him until they had a safe distance and enough people had moved out of their way.

The unsub had started walking with the victim towards an alley, most likely a shortcut to his car, they figured.

They followed him, again, at a safe distance with their weapons by their side. Once the unsub was halfway down the dark alley, he turned into a doorway, making them lose sight of him. 

They stopped against the wall and waited a moment, when all of a sudden, they saw the victim fall down from the doorway, onto the ground. She was bleeding from her stomach and they heard a door slam close. The unsub was going out from the other end of the building, all the way down the alley, running around the corner. They both spotted the gun in his hand while he ran.

“Help her, I got him.”, Hotch said as he started running down the alley and shouted, “FBI!”

Emily ran over to the victim while pulling out her phone and calling the authorities. She took her scarf and held it on the few stab wounds on the victim. “It’s gonna be alright. Just hang on.”, she told her. “This is Agent Prentiss with the FBI. We need a medic and squad cars down here to the French Quarter now.”, she said. 

She gave them the address and heard a gunshot. Her heart stopped for a moment, hoping it wasn’t Hotch that was hit. “Make that two medics. Multiple stab wounds on the victim and one shot fired. Unclear who was hit.”, she said. 

Emily’s heart was beating out of her chest, thinking of Hotch possibly bleeding out on the ground, alone almost like last time. Except this time, she  _ wouldn’t _ be able to be there with him and he  _ wasn’t _ wearing a vest. 

The medics finally came and helped the victim into the ambulance on a gurney. Once they took her away, Emily heard the other medic having gone in the other direction and she raced down towards it. She got around the corner and stopped once she got to Hotch. 

The medics helped up the unsub in the ambulance on a gurney as well. Hotch turned around to see Emily walking up to him, breathing heavy. 

He grabbed her and held her tight. “Oh my god. You’re okay.”, she sighed. “I was so  _ worried _ . You didn’t have your  _ vest _ and I couldn’t  _ see you _ and I just heard the  _ gunshot _ and couldn’t  _ run to you _ .”, she went on.

“Shhhh... Em, it’s okay. I’m okay.”, he whispered in her ear, rubbing her back up and down. 

“I was so scared, Aaron.”, she said into his chest.

“I know, hun. But I’m fine. We’re both fine.”, he said, pulling her back and tucking her hair behind her ear. “How’s the victim?”, he asked.

“She’s gonna be okay.”, Emily swallowed.

“Good.”, he sighed, bringing her back in for a hug. 

They heard JJ’s voice down the alley and they immediately broke apart and waited for her to walk down to them with the rest of the team. 

  
  


“Well, nice work... I can’t believe you happened to be out here at the right time. What  _ were _ you guys doing out here?”, JJ asked Emily and Hotch, skeptical.

They looked all around and the rest of the team was too distracted to notice her question. They were all talking with the rest of the authorities and the press that had finally showed up even though it was JJ’s job to do that.

“I wanted to go get some gumbo and Hotch wouldn’t let me go alone with a killer on the loose.”, she said.

JJ looked at him weird, almost questioning his reasoning. 

“Good thing I  _ did _ . What would you have done if I didn’t?”, he asked in a professional tone, looking over at Emily. “Besides, gumbo sounded really good too but I guess we didn’t get any.”, he said.

JJ eyed the both of them and they became nervous when they had a feeling she was suspicious but she  _ seemed _ to pass it off and believe it.

“Well, it’s good you guys were out. I guess we can head home in the morning. Um, I’m gonna go let the press know and we’ll head back to the hotel after we get some reports written up.”, JJ said.

“Sounds good. Thank you. Also, let everyone else know that they can just go back to the hotel and get some rest. It was just Emily and I who were involved in the arrest and shooting. They don’t need to lose any sleep because of it.”, he said.

JJ was surprised by his kind gesture and smiled. It wasn’t like him to do anything like that. “Thank you... I’ll let them know.”, she said. She walked off and started talking to the press. 

Emily looked over at him and smiled, turning away from everyone else while he kept a straight face. 

“What?”, he asked.

“What was  _ that? _ ”, she asked.

“Was that not a good excuse? Did I not play it off well enough for you?”, he asked.

She laughed quietly. “No. Not that. I mean, you just excused everyone from working tonight and told them to  _ go get some rest. _ Why do you think JJ was so shocked? That’s not like you. Maybe my kindness is rubbing off on you.”, she smiled.

“No comment.”, he said, trying not to let a smile pass.

“Admit it. I’m a good influence.”, she said, crossing her arms.

“Okay, fine... maybe your sweet charm and positive attitude  _ has _ rubbed off on me... But not too much! I still have to have structure and order put in place, alright? You can’t keep spreading it too much.”, he said.

“Whatever you say,  _ Agent Hotchner. _ ”, she winked. 

He rolled his eyes and walked over to the authorities to give his statement with Emily following behind him.

Once they were done, they all headed back to the hotel together and Hotch went to his own room while Emily went to hers. 

She took a shower and washed the blood off of her from the victim and got changed into her pajamas after. She laid down in the bed and called Hotch.

“Hey hun. How are you feeling?”, he asked.

“Mmmm, sad we didn’t get to try that gumbo. I’m still starving.”, she pouted.

“You want me to grab you a snack from the vending machine?”, he asked. 

“ _ Would you? _ ”, she asked. 

“Of course. I don’t know if I should spend the night in there, after what happened earlier, we should be a little careful for a while... But I’ll bring you a snack.”, he said 

“Thank you.”, she said, exhausted.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”, he told her.

They hung up and a couple minutes later he knocked on her door and she got up to open it. She let him in and they walked over to the bed and sat down, eating a couple bags of chips.  _ And of course, _ her favorite, peanut m&m’s. 

“It seems like we always get interrupted with everything.”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, well, it’s  _ part of the job _ .”, she said.

“I  _ know _ . I mean, even when we get to finish one thing, we never get to finish the rest of the night. Like the art gallery the other night. We got to finish our date but we didn’t get to go back to my house and finish the  _ night _ .”, he said.

“Well, what are we going to do about that? There’s not much  _ to do _ .”, she said.

He stopped for a moment and looked at her with a smile on his face. 

“What? What are you thinking?”, she asked.

“I’m  _ thinking _ that Thanksgiving is coming up. We all get a little time off. Why don’t you and I go somewhere together and spend a few days together. No interruptions. Just us. Alone.”, he said.

“What about Jack and Haley? Don’t you want to spend it with them?”, she asked.

“Haley is taking Jack to her family’s this year. We’re going to celebrate Christmas together though and switch on and off for other holidays eventually. We might do Thanksgiving together at some point but I don’t know, I don’t have much family to celebrate it with anyways other than them and it’d be strange for me to go to her family’s place for it.”, he said.

“Well, what  _ about _ your family? You don’t see them? You don’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving with them?”, she asked.

“You mean with my brother who I barely speak to along with  _ my mother who I barely speak to?  _ Or my abusive father who’s dead now anyways.”, he said. 

She stared at him for a moment, feeling sorry for him and placed her hand on his face. “Aaron, I had no idea...”, she said.

“You’re not the only one who doesn’t open up that much...”, he said, quietly. 

She pulled him in and brought his head to her chest and stroked his neck. “I’m sorry, honey... do you want to talk about it?”, she asked, kissing his head.

“No, it’s fine.”, he said, pulling his head back up and wrapping his arm around her back. “Not many people really know about all of that. It’s not my life anymore. I know  _ you _ can understand that. It shaped me into who I am. I’m a different person now. It’s okay now. I’m okay.”, he said to her. He looked deep in her eyes and could practically see the heartbreak she felt for him. 

“Okay. Let’s go somewhere for Thanksgiving vacation then.”, she smiled and gave him a kiss. 

“Great. We’ll figure all the details out later but I’m glad you want to go.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she smiled.

“I should probably go back to my room now but I love you. I’m glad we’re both okay after tonight.”, he said, standing up and walking to the door.

“I know. You keep scaring me like that.”, she said, stopping at the door. 

“I can’t control it. It’s-“, he started.

“ _ Part of the job _ ... I know. I just hate that I’m always on edge so much because of it now.”, she said, wrapping her arms around his torso.

“I know but I get the same way about you too.”, he said.

“I don’t know if that really makes me feel any better or not.”, she laughed. 

“I’m not sure what I was trying to accomplish by saying it either but just know it’s not just you, okay?”, he said.

“Okay.”, she smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

“Alright, I love you. I’ll see you in the morning.”, he said, opening the door.

“I love you too. Sleep well.”, she said.

“You too, Em.”, he smiled back, walking across the hall to his room.

She walked back to her bed and got under the covers. It took her a while to fall asleep. She kept thinking about what Hotch had just revealed to her about his family. She felt guilty when he said that he knew she would understand, with him being different now and having it shape him into who he was. It was true. She  _ did _ understand that. But she couldn’t tell him how or why and that made her feel horrible. He’d just shared all that and she was still keeping Doyle a secret. 

Suddenly she felt another anxiety attack coming, only this time, she didn’t have her Xanax with her and she couldn’t call Hotch back over to help comfort her. Especially because she didn’t want him to think he triggered it. So she let it pass after a while and finally fell asleep after a couple hours, hoping she’d be able to nap on the jet. 

  
  



	40. The Cabin

  
  


**Chapter 40**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  
  


* * *

A month later, Emily and Hotch were packing for their Thanksgiving vacation trip. It was the day before Thanksgiving and they were at his house grabbing things he needed for it. Emily already had her bag ready in his car and they were about to leave.

  
  


“Here.”, she said, handing him a flannel when he turned around to grab it.

“Thanks.”, he said, giving her a quick kiss and packing the flannel in his bag neatly.

“Honey, honey. Slow down. We aren’t in a rush, okay?”, she said, grabbing him and pulling him into her.

“I know, I just want to get there before it’s dark.”, he told her. 

“And we _will_. It’s only a couple hours away.”, she reassured him, moving a piece of hair out of his face that had flopped over.

“Okay, okay. You’re right.”, he said, slowing down and planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Do you need my help with anything?”, she asked.

“No, I just need to grab my toothbrush and razor and I think we’ll be all good.”, he said, walking into the bathroom. 

“You don’t need the razor. I like the beard. You look _sexy_ with it.”, she smirked, walking over to him. 

“Oh yeah?”, he chuckled.

“ _Mmhmm._ ”, she said, running her hands up his chest.

“No razor then.”, he said.

He set it down and packed his toothbrush and toothpaste in his bag, zipping it up. 

“Well, I guess we’re ready then.”, he said, picking it up.

“Great! Let’s go!”, she said.

They both walked downstairs and he set the alarm for the house and walked out to his car.

“Just so you know, the cabin isn’t winterized but there are some heaters we can turn on. And there’s also a fireplace so, plenty of ways to stay warm.”, he said.

“I can think of a couple other ways to stay warm.”, she smirked, hopping in the car as he slid into the driver’s seat.

“I think I like the sound of that.”, he said.

He started the car and pulled out of the driveway and reached for her hand.

  
  


After a couple hours, they finally arrived at his family’s cabin that they had to themselves for three days. They walked in and set their bags down. 

“Wow, it’s beautiful here. The smell of the pine trees is... mmm, I love it.”, she inhaled through her nose deep and closed her eyes.

“Yeah, this was my favorite place to go to as a kid. We came up here every summer and sometimes during the fall for special occasions. Some of the only good memories I really had with my father were up here. We went fishing, made campfires, grilled different things for dinner every night. I had some other wild adventures up here too. I even brought Carson here a couple times later on. It’s a really nice escape. The lake is great too. Come on, I’ll show you.”, he said, grabbing her hand and leading her outside. 

They walked down to the dock and she started shivering so he pulled her into his arms.

“It _is_ a bit chilly but-“, he started.

“It’s _beautiful._ ”, she said, wrapping her arms around him under his jacket. 

“At night... you can see the milky way. Well, that is if it’s not cloudy or there’s no full moon.”, he said.

“ _Really?_ ”, she asked.

“I used to come out here every night it was visible and just wait to see some shooting stars pass. I’d watch it for hours. I was also a very patient kid.”, he laughed. 

“It looks like a clear sky to me. Maybe tonight we could come out and take a look.”, she said.

“Yes. Whatever you want.”, he smiled, leaning down and bringing his lips to hers. “I told you to dress warmer. Let’s go grab you a jacket before you freeze your cute little butt off.”, he said.

“ _Mmmkay_.”, she smiled, kissing him again.

They walked back inside and went upstairs to the main bedroom to unpack. While she finished putting her clothes in a drawer, he turned on a heater up against the wall. He looked over at her and went up to grab her around her waist and threw her on the bed. She squealed and giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist when he got on top of her.

“Here’s to the next 72 hours of uninterrupted _alone time_.”, he grinned, leaning down for a kiss.

“I think I’m enjoying it already.”, she giggled again, now wrapping her _arms_ around his neck, pulling him down more and opening her mouth once their lips met. 

“Mmm. Me too.”, he smiled. “I think it’s warmed up in here now. Maybe we should get rid of this.”, he said, unbuttoning her flannel. 

“I think maybe you’re right.”, she said.

She slipped out of her flannel as he took his shirt off and she went straight for his belt. She pulled it off and tossed it to the side as she laid back down and felt his abs against her flat stomach. He kissed her deep and wasted no time going for the button and zipper of her jeans and tossed them once they were off. 

After a minute of making out, she sat up and helped him out of his jeans, leaving him in his boxers. He reached over and undid the clasp of her bra and shot down to her underwear once her back was flat on the mattress again. He slowly slid them off and brought his head up to in between her legs, spreading them wide.

He ran his fingers along her before running his tongue up her clit making her whimper. He grabbed the outsides of her legs and pulled her closer to his mouth. Once his lips were working their magic on her, she grabbed a fistful of his hair tight, holding him in place as he shot his tongue inside her slightly and sucked her until she arched her back.

“Mmmm... _Aaron_...”, she moaned.

He kept pleasing her until she called out his name and he sucked out most of the aftermath of her orgasm, licking her one last time. 

“ _So_ sweet, hun.”, he said.

Once she released his hair and slowed down her breathing, he brought his head back up to hers and she bit her lip with a devilish smile. Before he could bring his lips to hers, she stopped him and put her hand on his chest.

“Why are you still wearing those?”, she asked, looking down at his boxers. 

He laughed, “I have no idea.” He sat up and took them off fast. He laid back down on top of her, skin pressed on skin.

He gripped the side of her ass with one hand and his length with the other, already hard enough. 

He smiled, looking in her eyes before he finally brought his lips back to hers and she held his face. She opened her mouth, moving her tongue around with his. He lined himself up with her entrance before pushing in, causing her to gasp and moan just like she did every time. He moved his hips, sliding in all the way, letting out a huge breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding in. 

“Em, I love you so much. I don’t know _why_ I needed to say that right now but I just did... _God_ , I’m so in love with you.”, he said, kissing her neck soft.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed the back of his head and ran her fingers through his hair. 

“I know babe, I love you too.”, she breathed into his ear, kissing the side of his face until he started moving his hips. 

Once he set a pace, she slid her face back to look at his and he claimed her mouth with his. It was passionate and slow at first until he hit a spot just right for her and she moaned in a high pitch, letting him know. It drove him crazy and he picked up the speed. She grabbed his hair tighter and started meeting his every thrust. 

He eventually pulled out and brought her up on to her knees, bending her over on all fours. With her backside facing him, he grabbed her waist with one hand and his hard member in the other and thrusted in right away. She shrieked and he laughed, leaning forward to kiss along her back and ran his hands up her front and grabbed her breasts in each hand. He squeezed them tight and began moving in and out of her again. Beginning to massage her, keeping his hands in the same place, she let another moan escape her mouth and dropped her head.

“ _Aaron_... harder. Please. Fuck me harder. You can do that, can’t you, Aaron?”, she whispered. 

“I’ll do _whatever you want_ , hun. _Whatever you want_.”, he said, out of breath as he started pounding into her harder just like she’d asked. 

“Aaron, _harder!_ ”, she whined. 

He went even harder and grunted, “ _Fuck_ , Em.”, he brought his hands down to her hips and helped pull her closer to him with each thrust. His fingers gripped her so hard, she was sure she’d have bruises later but she didn’t care, it all felt too good in the moment. 

“Yes, right there.”, she panted. “Oh, I’m so close. Fuck.”

He started to go faster and could feel his insides tighten and brought his hand in front of her, beginning to rub her clit. 

Her mouth dropped open and she almost had trouble breathing for a moment. She reached her hand back to grab onto his thigh to hold on, knowing she might not be able to stay up on her own.

“Oh my god, Aaron... I’m gonna come... fuck.”, she said, gripping his thigh tighter. 

He couldn’t even speak, he was so out of breath and out of control. Next thing he knew, he felt her walls gripping him and she let out a scream. Right as she slammed back onto him, riding out her high, he lost it. He released everything into her, filling her completely and grunted under his breath as he thrusted into her three more times. 

After catching their breaths, he pulled out and they both collapsed on the bed. He pulled the covers over them and her into his arms, facing him, against his chest. 

“That was-“, he started, _still_ out of breath.

“ _Incredible_.”, she let out a breathy laugh.

“I’d _say so._ ”, he chuckled. 

“Wow... That honestly might’ve been some of the best sex I’ve ever had.”, she said, looking over at him. 

When he made eye contact with her, their faces were both completely blank before they both started giggling and pressed their foreheads to each other’s. 

“Me too. _Jesus_ , Emily, you really wear me out.”, he chuckled, wrapping his arm around her as she slid her hand up his bicep to his face. She stroked his cheek and kissed him soft, only adding a _little_ bit of tongue. 

“I love you so much.”, she said, rubbing the back of his head and biting her lip.

He ran his finger along her spine, sending her nerves into even more shock than they were already in. He kept staring in her eyes with a corner of his lip turned up. 

“Emily, I love you so much, it literally hurts sometimes.”, he laughed. “When I see you in pain, it _hurts me_ . Because I love you. Sometimes I just _look at you_ , like right now and... you’re so beautiful, it hurts. I can’t explain it but it’s true. I love you _so much,_ it hurts. I give all my love to you and it’s okay because you deserve it. You deserve nothing _but_ love.”, he said, kissing her shoulder up to her neck.

His soft touch tickled her and she squirmed, trying not to giggle but failed, causing him to laugh too.

“Aaron, I don’t want you to be in pain, that’s just ridiculous.”, she said.

“You know what’s ridiculous?”, he asked.

“ _Hmm?_ ”, she asked, kissing him.

“How beautiful you are.”, he told her.

“You already told me that.”, she laughed.

“I don’t care. You’ll hear it again...”, he kissed her. “... and _again_...”, he continued, kissing her again. “... and _again_...”, he chuckled against her lips. “... _and_ _again_.”, he finished with one last kiss.

She looked up to the ceiling and sighed, shaking her head. “Alright, fine. I’ll take it.”

He brought his lips to her neck and grabbed her, holding her tight, kissing her all over. 

“Mmm, this is so nice. I can’t believe we actually got time to come here and get away from everyone and everything. Thank you.”, she said.

He kissed her all the way up to her lips and let go. “I’m glad you wanted to come.”, he smiled, combing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. 

“Of course I wanted to... And as much I love _this_ ... _right here_...”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“I’m so hungry now.”, she laughed.

“I think I can help with that.”, he said, giving her a kiss and sitting up, grabbing his clothes. “It’s getting dark but I still have time to throw some burgers on the grill if you want. I was going to take you out on the boat afterwards. Go out in the middle of the lake. Bring some blankets. Cuddle up. Look at the Milky Way...”, he said.

“Cuddle up? How _big is_ the boat?”, she asked.

“It’s pretty big. It’s a ski boat. A speed boat. It’s got six seats and at the front, a long curved couch-like seat. I just have to hook it up to the thing that pulls it into the lake.”, he said. She stared at him for a moment. “Carson and I got it a few years ago. We go water skiing and have some of the cabin neighbors on it when we go out sometimes on the lake for fun.”, he said.

“You _water ski?_ ”, she asked, shocked.

“Yeah and I’m pretty good at it _actually_ . I use a slalom ski. I’m _advanced_. Maybe next summer I’ll show you.”, he said with a bit of sass, walking back over to her, finished getting dressed. “Now get dressed so we can eat. And put on something warm this time.”

She reached over and grabbed her clothes from the ground, pulling them on. She followed him downstairs and he went to the closet in the living room. He pulled out a big sweatshirt for her and she put it on. 

“Thanks. But I _do_ have some of my own clothes upstairs.”, she said.

“Yeah, well... you didn’t put an extra layer on like I told you to so... Besides, you look really cute in my sweaters. I _especially_ like seeing you in nothing but my baggy t-shirts and button ups in the morning.”, he smiled, planting a kiss on her lips. 

“I like that too.”, she smiled. 

“Good. Let’s go grill some burgers. I _also_ worked up an appetite.”, he said.

  
  



	41. Shooting Stars

  
  
  


**Chapter 41**

* * *

  
  
  
  


After dinner that night, Emily and Hotch walked outside to bring the boat down, into the water. 

“Aaron, let me help you.”, she insisted.

“No, I’ve got it. You can go grab the blankets I set out on the patio inside if you want.”, he said.

“Fine. Please be careful.”, she told him, walking inside to grab some blankets.

“Ow! Dammit.”, she heard him say and ran outside, carrying the blankets in her arms.

“Are you okay?”, she asked.

“Yeah, the hook just slipped and hit me but I’m fine.”, he said.

“I told you to be careful!”, she said.

“I am! I’ve done this plenty of times.”, he told her.

“You are so stubborn.”, she rolled her eyes.

“You’re one to talk.”, he laughed.

He pulled the boat towards him, holding it close to the dock while she got on. He pushed it off, climbing in, and took out the key from his pocket, starting the boat. He sat on top of the seat and drove it out to the middle of the lake and turned it off.

Emily was sitting on the couch seat at the front and pulled the blankets up, letting him get under. He wrapped them tight around the both of them and she snuggled next to him, nuzzling her head into his shoulder. 

“Are you warm enough?”, he asked her.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

“Good. Now what’d I tell you? Is this amazing or what?”, he said, looking up at sky.

“It is. I can’t believe- oh look! A shooting star!”, she said.

“Make a wish.”, he said.

“I don’t need to... I already have everything I want right now.”, she told him. 

He smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in closer and kissing the top of her head. “Me too.”, he whispered. 

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Yeah?”, he asked.

“Do you think JJ suspected anything back in New Orleans?”, she asked.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”, he asked her.

“Well, she’s been asking me a lot about the guy I told her I’m seeing ever since then and seems kind of suspicious about the whole thing. Other than you, she’s probably my best friend. She  _ knows _ me. I guess I’m just nervous she might be catching on.”, she said.

“What have you told her so far? What is she asking about?”, he asked.

“Well, for one, his name. She’s asked what he does, asked to see a picture. Just things like that.”, she said.

“And? What do you say?”, he asked.

“I told her your name was Michael and that you’re a nurse.”, she laughed. “How basic is that? I was going to say a doctor but I knew she’d ask for your last name and try and look you up.”

He started cracking up, making her do the same. “You know she’s going to keep asking questions more and more, trying to find out who I am, don’t you? She’s very determined. You might have to pretend you broke up with me soon before she invites us over for dinner.”, he chuckled. 

“She already has!”, she said.

“Oh god... how did you get out of  _ that one? _ ”, he asked.

“I told her you work the night shift typically but sometimes it changes unexpectedly so it’d be hard to find a night we could all get together.”, she said.

“Wow. You’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you?”, he asked.

“I’m sure she’ll throw something else at me.”, she said.

“Well, I know you. You think quick on your feet.”, he said.

“So does she.”, she said.

“Well, we’ll take care of it.”, he said.

“ _ I’ll _ take care of it. You kind of can’t. It’s  _ my _ fake boyfriend. It’d be weird if you got involved.”, she said.

“I guess that’s true... but it’s okay. We don’t need to worry about that right now. We are  _ here _ right now. Just enjoy  _ this _ . No worries for a few days, alright?”, he said.

“Okay. You’re right. So what do you want to do tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Well, it’s supposed to rain, so I thought we could just stay in, do a puzzle, maybe cook a nice dinner, read a book by the fireplace, do  _ other _ things by the fireplace.”, he said in a seductive tone, leaning down and kissing her.

“Mmm I like that idea.”, she said against his lips.

“Perfect.”, he said, kissing her one more time before looking at the sky. “Oooo another shooting star.”

“Make a wish.”, she said.

“I don’t need to either. I already told you.”, he said.

“There has to be  _ something _ you wish was different in your life.”, she said.

“I mean, I guess I would wish that we didn’t have to hide our relationship from everyone. But if that’s what we have to do to be together, then it’s worth it. I’m content right now with everything in my life. Haley and I are finally on a good page, I’ve gotten to see Jack a lot more in the past month or so, work is stable especially since Strauss isn’t on my ass anymore about everything. And... I have you.”, he said, rubbing her arm. 

“I’m really glad... I’ve noticed you seem happier, less stressed, especially whenever you see Jack. I love seeing you like that. So does everybody else at work.”, she said.

“There’s really that much of a difference?”, he asked.

“Aaron, you haven’t yelled at anyone for weeks. People have noticed a difference.”, she said as they both laughed. “You even laughed last week.”

“You say that like I never do.”, he said.

“Because you don’t!”, she said.

“I laugh all the time!”, he said.

“Yeah, with  _ me _ and  _ Jack _ . Maybe with a friend but you spend most of your time outside of work with me and with Jack. But at work... you’re so serious. You hardly let a smile pass. It wouldn’t kill you to show that you’re human every now and then. You know, let other people see the fun, happy side I get to see...”, she said, rubbing his chest.

“Do you really think I’m too serious all the time?”, he asked.

“I know I fell in love with the _ sensitive and loving _ Aaron Hotchner. Not saying I want everyone else to fall in love with you...”, she chuckled, “... _ but _ if it’s  _ respect _ you’re worried about... trust me, they won’t respect you any less if you show them that you’re human. If anything, they might even more. I know  _ I _ did.”, she said.

“It’s hard to not be the way I was trained to be. I think the only reason you saw that other side of me was because you brought it out in me. You still do. Everyday. And I love you for that.”, he told her, giving her a kiss on her head. 

“I know, I get it. Maybe just stick with how you’ve been acting lately and don’t push it or else people might start asking you questions about some woman in your life.”, she laughed.

“Alright, sounds good.”, he chuckled. 

After a while, Emily started to get tired and Hotch could tell.

“Em, do you want to go back now? You seem sleepy.”, he said.

“Yeah, I’m so exhausted. I don’t know why.”, she said, sitting up more and yawning.

“It’s been a long day and... we got quite a workout in earlier.”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, that definitely wore me out. But not in a bad way.”, she said.

“Good. We have all day to rest tomorrow but let’s go back and get some sleep now too.”, he said, walking over to the steering wheel and starting the boat.

Once they got back to the dock and tied up the boat, he helped her out and held her hand as they walked up to the cabin.

They headed upstairs and both changed into warm pajamas pants and sweatshirts.

“Ohhh, this feels so nice.”, she said laying down on the not too firm mattress and getting under the covers.

Hotch cuddled up behind her, being the big spoon and kissed her neck, pulling the sheets and comforter up more to cover her whole body.

“Are you warm enough, hun?”, he asked.

“I’m perfect.”, she said, squeezing his hand that draped over her side.

“You certainly are.”, he said. 

“I didn’t mean it like  _ that _ .”, she giggled.

“I know but you  _ are _ .”, he kissed her neck again. “Just accept it.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she said.

“That’s it? You’re not going to fight me on this? You love to do that.”, he said.

“No I  _ don’t _ !”, she said.

“You  _ do! _ ”, he told her.

“Whatever, I’m too tired to right now anyways.”, she said.

“Good. Now get some sleep. I love you.”, he whispered.

“I love you too.”, she said, closing her eyes.

  
  


A couple hours after they fell asleep, Emily woke up and sat right up, gasping once for air. Just seconds after, Hotch opened his eyes and could see her figure in the dark, sitting up and he did the same. He reached for her knees which were brought up close to her chest and for her shoulder.

“Em, are you okay?”, he asked in a groggy voice.

“I just had a horrible dream.”, she said, burying her face in her knees.

“Are you alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”, she said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked, rubbing circles on her back.

“It was nothing, really. It was just-“, she started and then turned her face to the side to look at him, resting her head on her knees. “You were in it and something bad happened to you. It was connected to something in my past I wish I could forget and having you brought into it just made it worse. It felt really real and I thought it actually happened for a few seconds even after I woke up. It was just upsetting. But you’re here, I know that.”, she said.

“I’m right here, I’m okay.”, he told her. “Come here.”, he said, pulling her in and wrapping his arms around her. “Em, you’re shaking.”

“I just need to go grab something real

quick downstairs.”, she said, getting up.

“What is it? I can get you a glass of water or make you a tea if you want.”, he offered.

“No, I just... need to grab a Xanax real quick.”, she said, walking out the door.

He woke up more when she said that and followed her down the stairs. 

“Emily, are you feeling an anxiety attack coming on?”, he asked her once they got to the bathroom and she grabbed her bottle of the pills and took one.

She walked out towards the living room to head upstairs but he stopped her.

“ _ Emily _ . Are you starting to have one of your anxiety attacks?”, he asked again.

She choked back some tears and walked upstairs into the bedroom, wanting to get back in bed and wait for it to pass. He crawled in after her and hesitantly put his arm around her when they laid down. She rolled over to face him and scooted into his arms which he wrapped around her again.

“Yeah...”, she finally replied.

“What can I do?”, he asked.

“Just stay here right now.”, she said, nuzzling her head into his chest. 

“I’ve got nowhere else to be. I’m right here with you, hun.”, he said, kissing her head.

After another thirty minutes passed, he could feel her heartbeat and breathing slow down and get calmer. He’d been rubbing her back up and down the whole time and stroking her hair.

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”, he told her.

“I woke you up.”, she said.

“Emily, I don’t care about that. I care about being there for you.”, he said.

“I know but still.”, she said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked, hoping for her to open up.

“I’ve just been having these anxiety attacks for a while like when I called you that one night a while ago... when we weren’t really talking. But I started having these dreams a little while after that. On my birthday when I got out of bed in the middle of the night and I went downstairs, I wasn’t really talking to my mom on the phone... which I know that you knew was a lie anyways. But I woke up because I had another dream that night. I didn’t want to worry you any more than you already were earlier on at the drive-in. I’m sorry I kept that from you, I just really didn’t want you to worry about it all.”, she said.

“Emily... you could’ve told me that. You could’ve woken me up.”, he said.

“I had to make a call anyway. I just hate ruining so many things.”, she said.

“You’re not ruining anything. Maybe you should talk about what happened though.”, he said.

“Like I said, it had to do with something from my past. But you got hurt. It was really bad. And it was my fault and I couldn’t stop it. And it felt so real. But it’s also that it was something that could actually happen and that’s what was so scary about it.”, she told him.

“I’m sorry. But I’m right here and I’m okay and so are you. We’re okay.”, he told her.

“I know... I know.”, she said, rubbing his chest. 

“Honey, listen to me. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, okay?”, he said, kissing her forehead. “And neither are you. I’ve got you.”

She took in a deep breath and finally stopped shaking. She looked up at him and brought her lips to his. “I love you.”, she said.

“I love you  _ too _ . You can always come to me with this.”, he said.

“I know. Thank you.”, she said, giving him one last kiss before she rolled over and he wrapped his arm around her.

“That’s what I’m here for.”, he said.

They both closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  
  



	42. Tell Me What You Love About Me

  
  
  


**Chapter 42**

  
  


**fair warning: heavy smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Emily woke up in the morning to the sound of rain pouring outside. It was peaceful and she smiled as she rolled over to face Hotch. He was still sleeping but she ran her hand along his arm and started kissing his neck, when finally, he woke up. 

  
  


“Good morning.”, he said in a groggy voice but with a smile. 

“ _ Good morning _ .”, she smiled on his neck, continuing to place soft kisses all over.

“Oh, already, huh? We  _ just _ woke up.”, he chuckled. 

“So?”, she said.

“I don’t know, I mean, maybe we should-“, he teased her before rolling on top of her. 

She let out a little squeal and giggled, “I didn’t see  _ that _ coming.”

“I’m full of surprises, babe.”, he said, hovering over her and leaning down for a kiss.

“I guess so.”, she said. “God, I love this rain.”, she bit her lip with a smile and ran her hands along his face.

“What?”, he asked.

“Have you ever made love in the rain?”, she asked seductively.

“No... but... I think it’s coming down a little too hard out there for that right now, don’t you think?”, he laughed.

“You’re no fun.”, she pouted.

“Emily, we’d get drenched!”, he laughed.

“And?”, she asked.

“Aren’t I always the one giving you my jacket because you always get cold like that first night we went out in L.A. and our clothes got soaked. You were  _ freezing! _ ”, he said.

“My wet clothes were stuck to me. We wouldn’t have any clothes on for very long if we went outside right now.”, she said. 

“Emily.”, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said back, mocking him. 

He looked out the window and remembered the boat. “Oh shit.”, he said, moving off of her and throwing shoes on and rushing downstairs.

“Aaron!”, she called out, walking downstairs. He was grabbing towels and rags from the closet. “What are you doing?”, she asked him.

“I forgot to cover the boat with the tarp last night before it started raining.”, he said, running outside with the towels and rags, grabbing the tarp from the porch as he ran down to the dock.

“Well, let me at least help.”, she said, grabbing her shoes running out after him.

Once they got down to the boat, they started wiping the seats off and pulled the tarp over it. 

“Well, I guess we got soaked after all.”, he said.

“Hm. I think we might need to dry off by the fireplace.”, she said, walking back up to the cabin.

They got inside and he grabbed some logs of wood. “Good thing I chopped some firewood last night after dinner, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to use it if it was wet.”, he said.

“At least you remembered to do  _ one _ thing.”, she teased him.

“Hey! I was tired.”, he said.

“You’re well rested now so get the fire going!”, she said excited.

He bent down to throw the logs in the fireplace and lit up some newspaper underneath them to get it started. 

“Go get changed out of that and into some warm clothes. Do you want to take a hot shower to warm up?”, he asked. 

“Yeah, actually that sounds nice. Um where are the towels?”, she asked.

“I’ll grab you one.”, he said, getting up and going to the bathroom with her following behind.

He pulled a towel out of a cabinet and hung it on a towel rack. He started the hot water for her and closed the door on his way out. 

While Emily took her shower, Hotch went upstairs to get changed into dry clothes. He put on a pair of sweatpants and another clean sweatshirt and thick, warm socks. After he got dressed he walked back downstairs and pulled out a jigsaw puzzle, setting it on the long table in the living room by the fire.

Emily came out in only her towel and looked over at him. “We doing a puzzle?”, she asked.

“I thought we could do this one. It’s of a whole bunch of different candy wrappers and designs. It’s like a whole collage of them. It’s pretty tricky. I don’t know if you’re up for it.”, he joked.

“Oh, it better be a 1,000 piece puzzle or else that’s just lame. Who does 500 anymore? I’m a bit competitive when it comes to puzzles. I used to time myself for how fast I could finish some.”, she bragged. 

“Oh,  _ you’re on! _ ”, he challenged her.

“I’ll be right down but get ready. You have no idea what’s about to hit you, Hotchner.”, she said.

“Bring it on, Prentiss.”, he said.

She walked upstairs and came back down a few minutes later practically in a matching outfit as his. She sat down across from him and started putting together the edge pieces. 

“Oh no, I think we’re missing an edge piece.”, he said.

“No, we’re not. You’re just not looking close enough. I see it.”, she said, continuing with the other pieces she was putting together.

“Well where is it?”, he asked, looking all over.

“If you’re so good, why don’t  _ you _ find it?”, she said.

“So it’s going to be like that, huh?”, he said.

“I’ll give you five minutes to find it.”, she said, looking at the time on her phone.

“You’re seriously going to time me?”, he asked surprised.

“Yep. Better get started.”, she told him.

“You were  _ not _ kidding when you said you get competitive. I didn’t even  _ know _ you could be competitive with puzzles.”, he said.

“I told you you had no idea what was about to hit you.”, she shrugged her shoulders.

It took him four minutes to find the edge piece and he held it up, proud and smiled big, showing it off and rubbing it in her face. 

She couldn’t help but smile and laugh at his excitement and pulled out her phone to take a picture.

“What?! Are you taking a picture of me?”, he asked.

“Yeah, smile again!”, she said.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because you look so cute and I want a picture of my boyfriend looking cute and happy and have a nice memory on my phone so shut up and smile. Hold up the puzzle piece, you dork.”, she laughed.

He held up the piece and she took the picture and went over to his side of the table to show him. 

“Oh god. I look ridiculous. Delete that!”, he said, reaching for her phone but she pulled it away from him.

“No! I like it! You’re so cute here. I’m keeping it.”, she smiled. 

“Fine. Then I’ll just have to get one of you on  _ my _ phone.”, he said, pulling his out of his pocket.

“That’s not fair! I don’t have any makeup on or my hair done, I’m wearing sweats and a baggy sweatshirt.”, she said.

He held up his phone and she put her hands up, covering her face. “No, Aaron, stop!”, she giggled, trying to keep her hands in place when he pulled them down.

“Come on, hun. You look beautiful. Let me just get  _ one _ picture of you. You got one of me wearing the same outfit and my hair and makeup isn’t done either.”, he raised his eyebrows and closed his eyes, presenting his face like he was “showing it off”, mocking her. 

She let out another giggle and crossed her legs, smiling for the camera as he took a picture. She heard him click the button more than once and she went for the phone, grabbing it out of his hand.

“Hey!”, he said, trying to grab it back. 

“Hey,  _ you! _ You took  _ more _ than  _ one _ .”, she said.

“You look so pretty, I wanted more than just  _ one _ picture of you.”, he said.

“ _ Fine _ .”, she said.

“Come here.”, he said, pulling her legs across his lap and holding her back with one hand and her face with the other. He looked in her eyes and smiled, bringing her in for a sweet kiss. “Let me see that.”, he said, taking his phone from her and turning it around. She leaned against him and put her arm behind him as they smiled and took a picture  _ together _ . 

They looked at it and were surprised at how well they were able to take it without seeing the screen for it.

“That’s actually really cute.”, she said.

“It  _ is _ .”, he said. “Oh, we should get those prints from Carson when we get back.”

“Oh yeah. I wonder how those came out. Probably better than this.”, she said, holding up the photo of them on the phone.

“Don’t say that. Wasn’t it you that told me not to insult myself because that’s like insulting you for being with me and the choices you make because I  _ am one? _ ”, he pointed out. 

“Yeah, well, still. You’re a guy! You don’t have to try and look pretty! You just naturally are. My handsome man... with the scruffy beard that’s already come in.”, she said, grabbing his jaw, under his chin with one hand, pulling him in for a kiss.

“So you like the beard, huh?”, he laughed.

“Very much so. I don’t like it too long but  _ this _ , where it’s just a little more than stubble but not a lot but also full. It’s perfect. You look very  _ sexy _ with it...”, she smirked. He made a surprised face. “ _ Yes _ , you heard me. I don’t know what it is but it completes a whole look for you. Not with your suit and tie though. So, no keeping it for work unless you wear regular clothes.”, she told him.

“Before I forget to say it or it gets lost in this conversation about my  _ beard _ ...”, he chuckled, “You are naturally beautiful, Emily. You are gorgeous. You don’t need to do your hair and makeup all the time. I love your natural hair and all the little waves it gets where they aren’t quite curls but definitely not straight. Your complexion, your soft, pale skin, and your brown eyes that really do glow in the sun no matter what you say... I see it. Your eyelashes are crazy long but I love it because your eyes pop even more. And your perfect lips...”, he said, bringing his to them. “How soft and sweet you are, your smile and the few little crooked teeth on the bottom that are just adorable. Your dimples... one of my favorite  _ physical _ traits about you...  _ so cute! _ And your nose. I don’t care what you say about it, I love it.”, he said, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. 

“Cheesy.”, is all she said.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”, he asked. “I just complimented everything about-“, he started. 

“Ah!”, she held her finger up. “You mostly complimented my facial features. Come on, girls have to feel confident about their whole body.”, she said.

“Em, I think you know how much I love your body.”, he chuckled. 

“Tell me.”, she leaned into him, bringing her lips just an inch away from his and holding them there. She knew this was a dangerous game to be playing with him but they never got to finish what they were about to start earlier that morning. She knew this would ensure that they did.

“Oh.”, he grinned, looking from her lips to her eyes.

She bit her lip with a devilish grin. “Go on...”, she said.

“Emily... There is  _ nooo _ blood whatsoever in my head right now...”, he said quietly.

“Aaron... Tell me what you love about my body.”, she whispered against his lips. 

“I  _ know _ ...that... I want you  _ right now _ .”, he said, crashing his lips onto hers and sliding off the bench with her, picking her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her upstairs while her arms were wrapped around his neck, locked on. 

Once they got to the bed, he practically threw her on it and immediately pulled his sweatshirt off and dropped his sweatpants, stepping out of them, while she tossed her own clothing off to the side and slid her underwear off at the same time he took his boxers off. 

He went straight for her and climbed on top. He ran his fingers up her already wet folds, making her shudder. “Oooo.”, she threw her head back. “Fuck, Aaron. I need you inside me  _ now _ .”, she said.

“Are you going to ask nicely?”, he said, sitting up on his knees while she was laying on her back. He was as hard as he could possibly be, teasing her with his tip going along her folds. He held one of her legs, spreading it out. 

She moaned, “Oh Aaron  _ please. Fuck me please _ .”, she begged.

“So wet and ready for me, shit.”, he sighed.

“Yes, now fuck me.  _ Please _ , Aaron.”, she begged again.

“No problem.”, he whispered, slamming into her and grabbing onto her other leg and spreading them both as much he could. Usually he gave her a minute to adjust and slid in slower but not this time.

“Oh! Fuck, you’re so big, Jesus!”, she gasped. 

“You’re  _ so fucking tight _ , Em. Ah.”, he said through his teeth. He started out fast and hard, surprising her but loving every minute of it. “You wanna know what I love about your body?”, he asked, already panting.

“Tell me.”, she said.

“I love everything. Every goddamn part of you.”, he said, pulling her body to him with her legs with each thrust. He threw his head back and she ran her fingers through her hair.

After a few minutes, he fell on top of her and took one breast in his mouth and sucked on it hard, while squeezing the other one and switching. 

“Your breasts are perfect. There’s one thing.”, he said, pounding into her hard once and keeping with his pace after that. “They fit in my hand and mouth just perfect.” 

“Uh huh.”, she said, not able to form words. 

“You feel so fucking good when I’m inside you. So hot and wet for me. You’re so tight. You were made for me. You’re perfect.”, he said, pounding hard into her again each time he listed another thing but still keeping his pace. Each time he did it, her breath hitched. 

He continued for a while, kissing her deep the whole time from her lips down to her neck before he pulled out and picked her up, bending her over on all fours. She flipped her hair to the side and without hesitation, he slammed into her again. She cried out with pleasure. 

He grabbed her waist and pulled her again with each thrust, even harder than before. 

“Holy shit! Fuck. You feel so good, Em. Oh my god.”, he grunted. He’d never done it before but he smacked her ass, not too hard, testing the waters. 

She whimpered but then moaned, and made a sound that drove him crazy when she said, “Mmmmm ahhh yesss.”, in a high pitch. And he took it as a sign to do it again. 

He smacked her ass a few more times, each one a bit harder and kept pumping in and out of her. “That’s one more thing. Your  _ ass. Is perfect. _ ”, he said, running his hand along it and smacking it even harder.

“Oh, oh right there Aaron. Don’t stop please. Oh please don’t stop. Right there. Oh my god!”, she screamed. “Oh my god, I’m gonna come!”

“Not till I say so.”, he told her.

“Fuck  _ Aaron _ , I’m  _ gonna come _ .”, she cried.

“No. Not yet. Not until  _ I say so! _ ”, he said.

He felt her walls getting tighter around him and he wasn’t about to have her go that soon. He bucked his hips into her once as hard as he could and stopped.

“No, please don’t stop, please don’t stop.”, she whined, moving her hips back against his until he stopped her. “Aaron.”, she whimpered.

“No.”, he told her again. “I don’t take orders from  _ you _ .  _ You _ take orders from  _ me _ .  _ I’m _ your chief.  _ I’m _ your boss,  _ Prentiss _ .”, he said.

“Okay,  _ Agent Hotchner _ .”, she tried not to let out a laugh. 

He pulled her up on her knees so she was in the same position as him and he held her back pressed against his abs and chest. With one slick movement, he was inside her. And she gasped for air, struggling to get a deep breath in at first. 

He wrapped his arms around her, one hand gripped around, on her waist and the other grabbing her breast tight. 

His hips moved up faster and faster until he felt her getting weak and he started chasing his own high, getting closer and closer. 

“Shiiiit. Ahhhhh.  _ Emily! _ ”, he screamed, feeling himself reaching his point. 

“Fuck, Aaron. I’m so close. Please.”, she whimpered. 

He reached his hand in front and started rubbing her clit in circles fast. She brought her hand up to his arm and held on. Within seconds, he could feel her walls gripping him and he knew he was also seconds away from exploding.

“Aaron, I’m gonna come. Are you gonna let me come?”, she struggled to get out. 

“Yes. Come for me, Em. I want to feel you come for me.”, he told her. 

With a few more strokes she couldn’t hold on any longer. She let out the loudest scream she’d ever made during sex and clamped down on him. 

“Fuck! Oh my god, Aaron! Oh my god! Yes, yes, yes! Ahhh. Fuck!”, she screamed. 

With two more slams up into her, he called out just as loud, “Arrgghh holy shit! Emily, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh my fucking god ahhh!” He stopped moving and came over and over inside her until he finally stopped. 

He could feel her body giving out and held her up, tight against his body. She tried to turn her head around but couldn’t manage to in the moment. He reached his head forward and crashed his lips onto hers, shooting his tongue in her mouth. He moved his lips to her neck when she threw her head back and he ran his hand along her body.

He finally pulled out and they collapsed on the bed, completely out of breath, pulling the covers over them. They both laid on their back staring up at the ceiling.

“Okay, scratch what I said last night. What we just did  _ right now _ ...  _ that _ was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Oh my god.”, she let out a breathy laugh. 

“I really can’t disagree. Jesus fuck, Emily.”, he panted.

“Well... what do you wanna do now!”, she said, looking over at him. 

He had a shocked look on his face mixed with a bit of ‘ _ what the hell, are you crazy? _ ’ but only for a moment. He started laughing so hard, beginning to have even more trouble breathing.

“Emily, don’t make me laugh right now. I’m trying to catch my breath.”, he said.

“Is that another order?”, she asked, scooting into his arms, them both laying on their sides. They were pressed against each other and he stared at her deep. She batted her eyes at him and drew small circles on his chest. 

“I had no idea that was going to come over me but it just did.”, he lightly chuckled.

“Well, I was more than fine with it. I  _ did _ ask you that time we went to the pier in Santa Monica, that first time, when we were on that case. Remember? You told me you weren’t my boss in that moment and I asked if I could still think of you as my boss a little? That still applies...”, she told him.

“You’re something else, aren’t you?”, he said.

“You could say that, yeah.”, she said, leaning in more and kissing him.

“I fucking love you so much.”, he said, stroking her cheek and the hair out of her face. 

“I fucking love you too. _ So much _ .”, she giggled and kissed him again.

“Maybe we should just stay in bed for a little while, I don’t know if I can walk right now.”, he laughed.

“You’re tellin’  _ me! _ ”, she agreed. 

“Let’s just take a nap.”, he said. 

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea.”, she laughed.

She rolled over and he curled up behind her again, holding on but trying not to smother her. They fell asleep fast, both extremely exhausted from everything they’d just done. They couldn’t help but feel completely satisfied with waking up next to each other when they finally opened their eyes. Knowing that they still had another day and a half up there brought some peace to them and they stayed in bed for most of that day.

  
  



	43. S'mores

  
  
  


**Chapter 43**

  
  
  


* * *

Emily opened her eyes later in the afternoon to Hotch stroking her arm. She turned her head around and he looked right at her with a soft smile.

“Hi.”, he said, reaching over and giving her a kiss.

“Hi... what are you doing? How long have you been up? Did you even end up taking a nap?”, she asked.

“I did. I only woke up a few minutes ago but... I didn’t want to leave you.”, he said, kissing her shoulder.

She turned her whole body around to face him completely and lay on her side. She held onto the covers against her chest and rubbed her legs against his under the covers. 

“So... think you can walk yet?”, she smiled.

“Probably.”, he laughed, stroking her arm still. “Oh. I totally forgot.”

“What?”, she asked.

“Happy Thanksgiving, hun.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Oh, it’s Thanksgiving. How did I forget that? Well, happy Thanksgiving to you too, babe.”, she said, giving him another kiss back.

“I know we can’t do anything too crazy like have a big dinner with a bunch of family or anything... but... what would you like to do tonight?”, he asked.

“I don’t care what we do for dinner. But after, maybe we could roast s’mores?”, she said.

“I haven’t done that in ages.”, he laughed. “Sounds good.”

“Neither have I but this seems like the perfect place to. Is there anymore dry wood for a fire?”, she asked. 

“Yeah, I brought it all inside last night. We have a fire pit right outside too so we can use that.”, he said. 

“Perfect.”, she said, kissing him and getting out of bed.

Hotch did the same and they both got dressed again in their sweatpants and sweatshirts.

“What time is it?”, she asked.

Hotch checked his phone and set it back on the nightstand. “It’s already 6:00.”, he said.

“Damn. We slept a long time.”, she laughed.

“Yeah, well, we were both pretty tired...”, he walked over to her and put his arms around her, sliding his hands down to her ass and squeezing it. “... You really wore me out.”, he said.

“Yeah, I could say the same about you. Think I still have a handprint on my ass from you?”, she laughed.

“It’s possible.”, he said.

“It’s very likely. I had no idea there was that side of you. But I also can’t say I’m surprised.”, she said, running her hands up his chest to link around his neck.

“I’m sorry. I don’t always get like that. You just really did something else to me. If I went too far...”, he said.

“No. You definitely didn’t. Not at all. I enjoyed _every_ _minute_ of _everything_ we did. If I ever don’t, I’ll let you know.”, she said, giving him a kiss. 

“You told me to tell you what I love about your body and then you had me focusing on every part of it. I just felt this _urge_...”, he said, looking her up and down.

“Aaron, you can smack my ass.”, she laughed.

“Okay, I just wanted to check in about it.”, he said.

“And that is why I respect you and love you. You respect _me_ . So thank you but I’d be lying if I said I _wasn’t_ enjoying it and everything else you did.”, she told him, smirking.

“I respect _every part of you_ . I just want you to be able to _see_ that.”, he said.

“I do. Don’t worry. You’re probably the most respectful man I’ve ever been with or really, even know.”, she said.

“Can I ask you something?”, he said.

“Anything.”, she said, rubbing the back of his head.

“You mentioned a little while ago that there were some guys who weren’t always... well, respectful I guess... after sex. That they don’t make you feel loved. Did someone ever hurt you?”, he asked, scared of what her answer might be.

“No. Not in the way you’re thinking. Not physically.”, she said.

“Emotionally?”, he asked.

“Sure, it’s happened a decent amount.”, she said.

“That’s not right, Em.”, he said, looking down.

“Aaron, it’s all in the past now. I’m with _you_ . I know you love me. I feel safe with _you_. Please... don’t worry about all those other guys.”, she said.

“It just hurts me knowing that someone didn’t care enough for you.”, he said, bringing his head back up.

“Don’t let it. It doesn’t matter anymore. I have _you_. You’re all I could ever ask for.”, she said.

“What did I do to deserve you?”, he asked.

“I don’t know but you _have_ me.”, she told him.

“I’m glad I _do_.”, he said. 

“Come on, let’s figure out dinner. You must’ve worked up an appetite.”, she said, grabbing his hand and walking downstairs. They walked into the kitchen and he grabbed his keys from the table.

“Let’s go to the little store up the road and get a couple things for dinner.”, he said.

“Okay. Let me grab our shoes.”, she said, walking upstairs and coming back down with them.

They got in the car and drove up the road to the store. They walked around it for a couple minutes before he stopped. He grabbed a can of tomato soup, cheese and bread along with chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows for s’mores.

“That’s practically fake cheese. It’s all artificial. It’s processed cheese. You really wanna get that?”, she asked.

“I have a request.”, he said.

“And what’s that?”, she asked. 

“Will you make me your amazing grilled cheese? And I’ll cook tomato soup?”, he asked.

“Fine. But don’t expect it to be that good. Like I said, _artificial_.”, she said, pointing to the box of velveeta. 

“Ooey gooey, Em. Ooey gooey. That’s all that matters sometimes for a good grilled cheese which you are really good at making.”, he said, walking up to the cash register. 

They bought the food and drove back to the cabin. They walked into the kitchen and pulled out a pot and pan. Before they started cooking, Hotch pulled out his phone and plugged it into the speakers in the living room.

“What do we want to listen to?”, he asked Emily.

“Surprise me. Choose a random playlist.”, she said.

He closed his eyes and picked a random playlist. 

“Country it is, I guess. But the good kind.”, he said.

“There’s very few country songs I like so they _better_ be good.”, she told him.

“Em, it’s _me_. I only like the good stuff.”, he said.

She rolled her eyes and started cooking two grilled cheeses as he heated up the canned soup. They pulled out some bowls and plates and served the food for themselves when it was all ready. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and they sat down out on the patio inside, getting some fresh air through the screen windows.

“Mmmm. _Ooey gooey_ , Em. I told you. It may be fake cheese but it’s a guilty pleasure.”, he said, taking his first bite of the grilled cheese.

“Fine. It tastes good. Whatever. But wow, Aaron, I mean, _come on_. This tomato soup... is just... wow. That’s talent right there.”, she said sarcastically. 

“Alright, it may be from a can but it still hits the spot.”, he said, rolling his eyes.

They both laughed and continued to eat. After a few minutes, he raised his beer bottle as she did the same. 

“I just want to say that I know this isn’t a typical Thanksgiving and this year has been wild but it’s given me a lot to be thankful for. One main thing, especially with it being a new one, is you. I’m so thankful for you being in my life, Em. You make me happier everyday and I love you so much for that, so _thank you_.”, he said.

“ _I’m_ thankful for all that typical stuff. Health, happiness, family. Well... maybe not the _family_ one.”, she laughed. “But most of all, I’m thankful for you too. For you coming back into my life and continuing to make me happy as well. I couldn’t ask for more.”, she smiled, clinking their beer bottles together.

All of a sudden, he heard a song come on. He wiped his hands with his napkin and got up, running inside the living room.

“Aaron, what are you doing?”, she called after him.

“Hold on!”, he said.

He went to the closet and grabbed a guitar. He picked it up and quickly tuned it just good enough before walking over to his phone and restarting the song, “ _Wagon wheel_ ”, and turning it up. He ran back out the patio and sat back down on the bench, pulling it out a bit more. 

“Where did you get that?”, she laughed but also excited to see what was about to happen. She hadn’t seen him grin like that many times before but she loved it.

He didn’t answer but just started playing the guitar to his favorite country song he had just restarted. She was amazed at how he was going with the somewhat upbeat song perfectly. His fingerpicking on the strings was just right in time with it and he started singing but in a fake country voice, joking around. He started laughing in the middle but kept on with singing it and playing the music. 

His laugh was contagious and she couldn’t help but start herself as she watched what was happening and the stupid smile he had on his face. The way he tapped his foot with the rhythm while strumming, completed the whole thing. She couldn’t help but enjoy every minute of what he was doing. Once the song was over, he stopped and smiled, looking up at her. 

“So you play the guitar.”, she said.

“I guess I never told you that, huh?”, he laughed. 

“No, I think I’d remember that!”, she said. 

“Yeah, that’s uh- one of my favorites to play. I learned to play that a long time ago. My dad taught me. Carson and I used to play a lot together too when he’d come up here. This place just- has a great vibe for all of that. I don’t know. That probably doesn’t make sense.”, he said.

“It makes perfect sense. I love that. And I’d _love_ to hear you play something else too.”, she said.

“Sorry, hun but that was all you’re getting, at least for tonight. Maybe some other time when my guitar is tuned better and I’m not put on the spot like that!”, he chuckled.

“When you’re not put on the spot? That was pretty _spontaneous_ of you right now with what you just did!”, she said.

“Yeah but that song just brings it out in me.”, he said, getting up and walking back inside to put the guitar away. “I’ll show you something else another time, alright?”, he said, walking back out to her and sitting down to finish his food.

“Fine. Whatever.”, she said, rolling her eyes. “You were really good by the way. What _else_ do you play?”

“How do you know I _do_ play anything else?”, he tested her.

“I just do. Now tell me.”, she said.

“Alright, well, there’s also a banjo in there. My dad was into some country. I might know a bit on that. I’m pretty good on the drums. And also the trumpet but I haven’t played anything for a while.”, he said, dipping his grilled cheese in the soup.

“How did you learn to play all those?!”, she asked, shocked.

“Like I said, my dad was into country. He taught me guitar and banjo. Carson and I almost started a small band with a couple other law school buddies until we realized we were in law school and had no time for that.”, he laughed. “And the trumpet... a friend of mine played it back in high school, I thought it was very different and just started listening to a lot of jazz and even got some on vinyl. After when I got into Miles Davis... I got my own trumpet and just learned on my own and eventually started playing with that friend of mine.”, he said.

“You _did_ tell me this morning that you were full of surprises.”, she said.

“Oh there’s _so_ many more.”, he winked at her, taking a sip of his beer. “Well, what about you? Do you play any instruments that I somehow didn’t know about either?”, he asked.

“No. I learned piano when I was younger but wasn’t too advanced and that was years ago. I’d love to learn everything you just said you know how to play though.”, she said.

“I’m not amazing but I can teach you a little bit.”, he said, clearing their plates and bringing them to the kitchen. 

She got up and helped him do the dishes. Once they were all done, they went to the living room table and worked on the puzzle. The one they’d started earlier, before he had picked her up and carried her upstairs, having the best sex either of them had ever had. 

“Aaron, it’s been 30 minutes. How are you still not done with all the edge pieces for the border?”, she asked.

“ _Because_ not everyone is a competitive, professional puzzler like you.”, he laughed.

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”, she said.

“Okay, fine. I give up. For now. Let’s make some s’mores.”, he said, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

Emily got up and helped Hotch grab the stakes outside to the fire pit with the rest of things to make s’mores. He brought wood out, since it had finally stopped raining and had grown dark, and put it in the fire pit. Once the fire was going, they sat down in chairs next to it and started roasting their marshmallows. 

“Okay, when was the last time you made s’mores?”, she asked, rotating her marshmallow over the flames.

“I don’t even remember. Probably some time with Sean when we were kids. So... a long time ago.”, he laughed. 

“You said you never really talk to him... Why is that?”, she asked.

“We _used_ to be close...”, he said, pulling his marshmallow off the skewer and assembling the rest of the treat. 

“And?”, she tried to get him to continue.

“We used to be close. My father...”, he shook his head, avoiding eye contact with her completely while he went on. He wasn’t used to talking about it. He never talked about it. It never came up and he didn’t know how to bring it up or with who, let alone any reason why he should. “I got it a lot worse than Sean. He’s a lot younger than me and I didn’t want to see him go through that. I took it a lot more. I wanted to protect him as much as I could from experiencing any part of it. Whether it was him _seeing_ it or him _taking_ the beatings. I eventually moved out and went to college. I don’t know how bad it was after I left. I still carry that guilt around. We just didn’t keep in contact much. Maybe that’s why. He bounces from job to job and rides a motorcycle and can’t stay in a relationship for more than a few months when he even _does_ get into one. I think he feels like I left him and he didn’t end up successful like me and never really had much motivation or support from anyone. That’s not to say I feel like all of that is true but I just...”, he shook his head again and took a bite of his s’mores, refusing to finish his sentence. 

“ _Aaron_...”, she spoke quietly with sympathy in her voice. 

“But it’s fine. I can’t do anything to change that.”, he said, taking another bite, finishing it and looking out at the lake.

“Come here...”, she said as she set her skewer down and stood up, taking his hand. She pulled him up onto his feet. 

“Em, really, it’s fine.”, he said but she pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his neck and his wrapped around her body, lower. 

She pulled her face back and touched her forehead to his. “You can’t blame yourself for anything. You did your best and you kept him from experiencing a lot of the abuse _you_ did. You’re a good brother. Even now, you continue to protect people because you’re an _amazing_ person. You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.”, she said, stroking his face with her hand. 

His eyes looked down, their foreheads still touching. She kept her eyes on him and he finally looked back at her with tears in his eyes that hadn’t fallen yet. It broke her heart to see him like that. She’d only seen him cry once before and that was when Haley left with Jack. That was only a single tear that time and he was silent.

Emily pulled her head back and tilted it slightly. “Honey, it’s okay to let it out.”, she told him. 

He sniffled and she saw a tear fall from his eye and she wiped it off. “Emily, I never talk to anybody about this. I don’t think anyone even knows except Carson. I don’t ever see the point in talking about it or how. That’s the ridiculous part. I’m a profiler. We work these crazy cases where people are being killed and so many other disturbing things... I’m able to break down the mind of a serial killer and talk about that with others. But I can’t even talk about my own childhood.”, he chuckled, his voice cracking at the end. He struggled to find words and closed his eyes.

“Aaron, I know I didn’t go through exactly what you did but... I have a lot of stuff I can’t talk about with anybody at all. I know how much of a toll that takes on a person whether it’s in the past or not because, well... it’s not. It’s still there. It’ll be there with you forever. But that makes you stronger and braver and wiser. You can relate to a lot of people and help them. You already have. I believe in you.”, she said, wiping one more tear off his face and placing her lips on his.

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, giving him another kiss. 

“Thank you.”, he said, rubbing her back up and down.

“I’m _always_ here for you.”, she said, giving him a soft smile.

“I know. And I appreciate that.”, he told her

Realizing that was as much as she would get from him, she ran her hands down his chest. “So. How do you like your marshmallows? White, golden, crispy and slightly burned?”, she asked, both of them sitting back down in their chairs right next to each other.

After almost an hour of them roasting marshmallows and talking and enjoying the fire, they went back inside and got ready for bed. They got in bed and faced each other. She scooted into his arms and they wrapped them around one another. 

“I’m glad you opened up to me. I know it was hard.”, she said.

“I _trust_ you.”, he said

“Good. I trust you too. “, she said.

He stared in her eyes and rubbed her leg. “I love you so much, Em.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said.

He gave her a kiss and said, “Let’s get some sleep. I have a fun idea for tomorrow.”

“Okay.”, she said, giving him one last kiss.

She snuggled up in his arms and rested her head on his chest before they both fell asleep.

  
  



	44. A Hike and a... Couple Stories

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**Chapter 44**

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**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

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* * *

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Emily and Hotch woke up the next morning to the sound of her phone ringing. They were used to being able to completely wake up when their phone rang in case they ever had a case. She propped herself up with her arm and reached for her phone, laying back down. 

“Who is it?”, Hotch asked.

“It’s JJ.”, Emily said before answering it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, happy late Thanksgiving. Me and Penelope were wondering if you wanted to go grab some drinks tonight.”, JJ said.

“Oh um, I’d love to but I think Michael and I were just gonna stay in tonight. What are you doing tomorrow night?”, Emily asked.

“Why don’t you bring him!”, JJ said. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little soon?”, Emily asked.

“No. Not at all. You guys have been together, with or without a label for a couple months. He can’t come out with you and a couple of your friends? It’s not like you’re bringing him to meet your parents.”, JJ said.

“We’re both pretty tired and were just gonna stay at my place and relax. But let’s do tomorrow night.  _ Not _ with him.”, Emily said.

“Fine.”, JJ sighed. 

“Great, I’ll text you later, alright?”, Emily said.

“Alright. Tell him I say  _ ‘hi’ _ .”, JJ giggled. 

“ _ Goodbyeee _ .”, Emily laughed, hanging up the phone.

She set her phone back down and rolled over to Hotch. He rubbed his eyes and stretched out his arms, one landing on her side.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to stay an extra day but seeing as you made plans...”, he said.

“I’m sorry. I know, I wish I didn’t have to lie. If I could have told her the truth, we would be able to.”, she said.

“It’s okay. We still have the rest of today before we leave. We could leave in the morning if you want instead of tonight.”, he said.

“We may as well.”, she said.

“Alright. Well, I have a plan for what we can do today, seeing as it is no longer raining.”, he said.

“What did you have in mind?”, she asked.

“There are these big rocks up on this trail that overlooks the lake and it’s the perfect little picnic spot. You wanna go for a small hike?”, he said.

“I don’t know if I brought the right shoes for that.”, she said.

“Well, it’s not so much of a hike as it is walking a trail a little bit to a nice spot to stop and have a snack, I guess. Just jeans and sneakers are fine.”, he said.

“Sounds great then.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss.

“Good! Let’s get dressed.”, he said, hopping out of bed.

“Right  _ now? _ ”, she asked.

“Yeah, it’s already noon.”, he said, throwing on some jeans and changing his shirt.

“Wow. Okay.”, she said, changing into her own clothes. 

They went downstairs and made some sandwiches and grabbed a bag of chips and a couple apples. They packed some water bottles and put the rest in a backpack. 

They got in the car and drove to the trail up the mountain. When they got there, they parked and got out and walked up the trail. 

“They’re right over here.”, Hotch said, running up and onto the giant rocks, setting the bag down and helping Emily up. 

“This is  _ nice _ .”, she said, sitting down.

“Can you keep a secret?”, he looked over at her.

“ _ Way _ too many.”, she laughed.

“Carson and I used to come up here all the time.”, he said, pulling out his sandwich and handing one to Emily. 

“Okay...”, she said, curious.

“I wasn’t working for the government yet so I did some stupid things.”, he said.

“Oh? Like what?”, she asked.

“We used to come up here and smoke...”, he said, looking over at her.

“Like...  _ weed? _ ”, she asked.

“Like I said, I was not working for the government yet!”, he said, putting his hands up.

“Oh my god! You  _ didn’t! _ ”, she said, eyes wide, hand over her mouth.

“You can ask him yourself.”, he said.

“Wow. I never would have thought of you to be a stoner.”, she laughed.

“I wasn’t! It was just something we came up here to do every now and then. Made some good memories.”, he chuckled.

“Mmhmm.”, she said, continuing to eat her sandwich. “Well, your secret’s safe with me.”, she said.

“Among many others.”, he said.

“What do you mean?”, she asked, nervous, thinking he might’ve found out something else.

“Well...  _ us _ . That’s a big one. But I know you’ve got more. Many of which you even keep from  _ me _ . Which is fine. Just as long as none of them actually include a guy named Michael.  _ That _ I wouldn’t be okay with.”, he laughed.

“Don’t worry, you’re my  _ only _ boyfriend,  _ real or fake _ .”, she said, leaning on him. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head.

“I better be.”, he said.

“I already tried being with someone else while I still had feelings for you. How did that go?”, she said.

“Not very well.”, he laughed.

“Exactly.”, she said.

“Just so you know, you’re  _ my _ only girlfriend.  _ Real or fake. _ ”, he said.

“ _ I better be. _ ”, she said, mocking him. 

“Do you ever wonder if it was just a coincidence that we came back into each other’s lives or that maybe we were  _ meant _ to be together?”, he asked, looking at her. She sat up more and focused on him. “I’m sorry. That sounds totally cheesy, probably really stupid.”, he tried to laugh it off.

“It’s not... I don’t know. I wonder that sometimes. I like to think that we were meant to be brought back together in some way. But, if we were meant to be together or if we were meant to figure out what we want on our own whether it’s being in a relationship or something else... I don’t know. But we are.”, she said. “What do  _ you _ think?”

“ _ Now _ I feel stupid for what I was going to say.”, he said, dropping his head and quietly laughing.

“What is it?”, she asked.

He sighed, “I feel like we  _ were _ meant to be together... I know that’s crazy and all. I probably sound like some foolish teenager falling in love and saying ‘ _ I love you _ ’ after only two weeks.”, he laughed.

She set her hand on his thigh and looked at him until his eyes met hers. “Your feelings are  _ valid _ . Don’t diminish them. I don’t want you to think that I  _ don’t _ believe we were meant to be together. I just can’t say for sure how the universe works and like to think we have  _ some _ control over our lives. But sure, let the universe take over sometimes. Like how it brought me to you. And then  _ we _ made the decision to create what we have  _ now _ .”, she said.

“I like that... I’ve just had this connection with you from the very beginning since you came back. I felt something instantly that I hadn’t felt since I first met you years ago but it was more  _ intense _ , more  _ real  _ but also… more confusing... Although we’ve been involved for over a year, we’ve only been in an official relationship for a little over a month but we’ve said “ _ I love you _ ” way before that. I feel like we’ve been together for so long. I feel so  _ comfortable _ around you like... you were made for me? Once again, it sounds ridiculous but I don’t know how else to explain it. I definitely wouldn’t have done or said half the things that we have, to anybody else if I’d been seeing them for the amount of time we have. I never have. But it’s different with you. In a way, you came back at the right time... kind of.”, he laughed. “There were some obstacles but overall...”, he said, staring deep in her eyes.

“I’ve definitely never felt this way about anybody else before. And I’ve been with a lot of people.”, she laughed.

“ _ People? _ As in not  _ just _ men?”, he raised his eyebrows.

“Fine.  _ Men _ . But in college, there were a lot of things I experimented with.”, she said quietly at the end.

“ _ Do tell _ .”, he said, intrigued.

“You just wanna know all the dirty details.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Maybe  _ but _ ... yeah, alright, I can’t think of anything else to say. Tell me.”, he said, scooting around to face her.

“Are we talkin’ relationships or just drunken nights?”, she asked.

“Whoa, there was a relationship?”, he asked. 

“I’ve dated quite a few guys over the years but there was one girl, yes.”, she said. 

“Emily. How did I not know this!”, he said.

“Are you okay with that? It doesn’t bother you or anything?”, she asked.

“ _ Emily _ . I wanna hear all about these drunken nights.”, he smirked.

“Okay, so guys really do find that hot... Two girls together and all.”, she laughed.

“ _ Emily! _ Go on.”, he said, impatient. 

“Alright, alright. I wasn’t used to partying or anything, growing up the way I did and all, as you know, so when I went to college, that changed. There were a lot of parties I went to, got pretty drunk most nights.”, she said as he raised his eyebrow. “Okay, pretty much all nights. One time, there was this girl. I don’t even think I ever got her name or saw her around campus after but we both had a lot of beer and next thing I knew, we were making out. It was so crowded that no one even noticed us go upstairs in someone’s bedroom. Then we were on the bed and then all our clothes were off and then yeah. Maybe I was just drunk but girls are  _ much _ better kissers than guys.”, she said,taking a bite of her sandwich.

Hotch just stared at her, unable to speak for a moment. His mouth open in awe.

“Aaron? Are you there?”, she asked, looking at him.

“What?”, he asked, snapping out of it.

“So that was that.”, she said.

“It only happened once?”, he asked.

“No. But that was the first time.”, she said.

“How many more times?”, he asked.

“Not  _ too _ many. A few. But it wasn’t just her. But like I said, I was pretty drunk all of those nights so a lot of it is pretty blurry but they were good nights. I  _ do _ remember  _ that _ .”, she said.

“Okay. Wow. Um... and this relationship? What happened with that?”, he asked.

“It didn’t last long. Just a couple of months. I met her on campus during some protest or peace rally I think, I’m not really sure what it was. She was really into world peace and all that hippie stuff. Which is great! But she could get a little passionate about a lot of topics and disagreed with a lot of things people including me, did or said. But anyways, I saw her later at of course, a party and we found our way to the bedroom. After that night, we went out a couple times and it turned into a relationship. She was great but after a couple months, I realized how different we were and it just didn’t work out. I thought we could still be friends and we actually were for a bit but then she moved for grad school and we lost touch.”, she said.

“How?  _ How _ did I  _ not _ know about this?”, he asked. 

“I don’t know. It’s not a secret. It just never came up.”, she shrugged her shoulders. 

“So are you bisexual or...?”, he asked.

“I’ve identified as being straight for a while but there was a time when I was into girls but I think a lot of people experiment in college. I didn’t always put labels on things necessarily. I mean, I haven’t found myself attracted to a woman for a while though so I guess I’m straight. I don’t know. I think you shouldn’t have to put a label on anything unless you want to feel like it empowers you and you want to embrace it.”, she said, eating the rest of the chips.

“Wow.”, he said.

“What?”, she said.

“You just keep getting more and more interesting.”, he said. 

“I always had my eye on  _ you _ though back then or around that time at least.”, she winked.

“So. Those girls were better kissers than  _ all _ guys or...?”, he started.

“Not  _ all _ guys. Just  _ most _ . But don’t worry. You’re not one of them. You’re probably the best I know. Don’t get insecure.”, she said, leaning in for a kiss. 

“And other things?”, he asked.

“ _ Yes _ , Aaron. You’re the best I’ve ever had... when it comes to  _ a lot _ of things.”, she rolled her eyes, laughing, and kissing him again. 

“You’re just saying that.”, he said.

“I wouldn’t have brought it up or said it if it wasn’t true. But it’s quite a different experience with girls, I must say.”, she told him.

“I bet.”, he said, clearing his throat, moving around, trying to sit comfortably.

“Yeah...”, she said, looking all around before she turned to face him and scooted closer. She could tell he was all hot and bothered from everything she’d just told him so decided to help him out. She reached for his belt and slowly undid his buckle.

“Em, what are you doing?”, he asked, also looking all around, knowing nobody would be anywhere nearby since they were far into the woods and covered by trees all around them. 

“You know, I always found it much easier to please a man like this than a girl.”, she said, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. 

“Is that so?”, he asked, looking down at what she was doing, trying to breathe normal.

“I know your body better. I know what you like. I know what you  _ need _ ...”, she whispered. She grabbed the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down the slightest bit. She put her hand under them and grabbed his hard member, bringing it out from underneath his clothing. He twitched in her hand at her touch.

“Seriously?”, he asked, looking around them again.

“I knew the minute you cleared your throat and had that look on your face, you needed this.”, she said. She stroked him a few times, making him moan.

“Yeah, I guess you were right.”, he breathed, almost losing it when she put her mouth on him. “Ohhh.”, he threw his head back.

She moved her mouth all the way down on him slowly. She kept one hand on his hip and the other on his shaft. She started moving her hand around as it pumped him and brought her mouth off after a minute of sucking him. She ran her tongue up from the base to the head, making him clench his jaw and fists. She brought her mouth back on him and he wrapped his fingers in her hair and helped bring her head up and down the way he needed.

“God,  _ Emily _ .”, he moaned. He started pushing into her mouth and was surprised when she didn’t stop and could actually take it. “Jesus, Emily. I won’t last much longer.”, he said, pulling her mouth off of him. 

“You really want me to stop?”, she asked.

“Only if you take your pants off.”, he said.

She released him and took her shoes off first and then made quick work of her pants. She sat on his lap, straddling him and reached behind her to grab him and line him up with her hot, wet entrance. Pushing his head in slowly and sinking down on him all the way. 

“Oh shiiit...”, he whispered, bringing his hands to her hips, holding her there steady while her body got used to him inside her. 

“Mmmm.”, she hummed, grabbing his face and softly but passionately bringing her lips to his. 

She started up and down ever so slightly and brought a hand to his shoulder and kept the other on his face. Her mouth hung open as she stared in his eyes with his lips rolled in, holding in so much. 

He started to help lift her up and come back down not too hard at first. After a few minutes, he started pushing up with his hips as he brought her back down each time. 

“So am I better than those drunken nights with those college girls even?”, he panted.

“ _ Way _ better.”, she gasped. 

“Good.”, he said, going faster, bringing her down harder.

“Oh,  _ Aaron _ .”, she whined, closing her eyes.

“I can feel how close you are, Em. It’s okay, just let go.”, he told her.

“Not without you.”, she said, opening her eyes and switching to rolling her hips so she could be leveled enough with him. 

She pulled his face into hers and crashed her lips onto his. She opened her mouth and let his tongue enter it while she grabbed his hair tight. Their tongues danced around with each other until he hit a sweet spot and she opened her mouth wider, separating from his lips, gasping for air. Keeping them on his face, she breathed heavy against his skin. 

“Right there, Aaron.”, she sighed.

“Come on, Em. Come for me.”, he said.

She whimpered before she let out the words in a whisper, “I’m gonna come Aaron. Come with me, please.”

“Oh, fuck, Em. Ahhhh. Me too. Just keep going.”, he said. 

“I can’t hold o- oh my god.”, she said.

“That’s it, Em. Just like that.”, he said as she started riding him faster and more intense to the point where he felt her walls tightening around him more. She shut her eyes again tight and went as fast as she possibly could until she reached her climax. She tried to keep it quiet incase anyone was nearby but it was hard. 

“Ahhh. Yes... Oh, fuck yes, yes. Aaron, oh my god.”, she cried out, practically in a whisper.

“Fuck, Em. Keep going.”, he said through his teeth. She kept going, riding out her high and helping him reach his own. Finally, he did and pulled her towards him, moving her backwards and forwards on his lap. “Ahhh. Emily, fuck! Jesus, you’re so good. Shit!”, he hissed, not even thinking about the mess they’d made on his boxers and jeans.

Coming down from it all, she buried her head in his shoulder and ran her fingers through his hair. She brought her face up to his and melted into his lips. 

“I’ve never done  _ that _ before.”, he chuckled. 

“Done what?”, she asked.

“Had sex outside somewhere like this.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah, why? Have  _ you? _ ”, he asked.

“I don’t kiss and tell.”, she smirked.

“I really was hoping that answer was a  _ ‘no’ _ so you could tell me that  _ I’m _ the first and hopefully  _ only _ one.”, he said.

“Okay, sweetie. You’re the only one.”, she smiled and kissed him.

“That’s not super convincing.”, he said.

“What else can I do?”, she asked.

“One more kiss.”, he said.

She laughed and grabbed his face giving him one last kiss before sitting up and pulling her underwear and pants back on. She tied her shoes and sat back down next to him.

He pulled his boxers up, covering himself but looked down at them. “These _used_ _to be_ my favorite jeans.”, he said.

“It’s not too bad. You can wash it out.”, she laughed. 

“Definitely worth it.”, he said.

“Yes. It  _ definitely _ was.”, she said.

“Do you wanna head back now?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Do you wanna take the boat out when we get back?”, she asked.

“Sure.”, he said, grabbing their bag and helping her up. 

They walked back to the car and drove to the cabin, feeling completely satisfied and content with everything in their life.

****  
  



	45. One Special Last Night At the Cabin

  
  
  


**Chapter 45**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

Once Emily and Hotch got back to the cabin from their “hike”, they went upstairs to change out of their clothes and take a shower. 

“You go first. I don’t think it’s big enough for us both.”, he said.

“You can fit. Come on.”, she said.

They got in the shower and there was hardly enough space for them to both be in it but they squeezed.

“Emily, I have no room to move.”, he said.

“That’s alright. I’ll soap you off.”, she said.

“No, no, no. I know what you’re thinking and that’s not happening in here. I’m very satisfied from earlier.”, he said.

“Aaron, do you really think I would expect you to go again this soon?”, she asked.

“I guess not... Wait, you don’t think I can? You think I’m too old, that I can’t do that?”, he asked.

“I never said that.”, she said.

“I could  _ go again _ .”, he said.

“Whatever you say.”, she said, grabbing the soap and washing him off.

“Ohhhh, I see what you’re doing.”, he nodded. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”, she said.

“You’re trying to get me to prove you wrong.”, he said.

“No.”, she said, turning around. “Will you soap off my back?”, she asked.

“It’s not gonna work.”, he told her, beginning to wash her off. 

He rubbed her shoulders and kissed her neck. He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered, “You’re gonna have to try a little harder than that. I’m not  _ that _ easy.”

“Whatever you say.”, she said, turning off the water and stepping out, handing him a towel. 

She loved doing that to him. It was one of her favorite games to play and pretending like she had no idea what he was talking about, making him even more frustrated. She knew he was aware that that’s what she was doing but he still went crazy when she wouldn’t admit to it.

They walked upstairs and changed into fresh clothes that  _ didn’t _ have any stains on them. They walked down to the dock and took the boat out onto the lake like she suggested earlier. He showed her around and took her down to a channel where they spotted some deer and other wildlife.

A little over an hour later, they took the boat back and went inside. They read their books for a bit and relaxed. After a while, she set her book down and looked over at him, laying next to her on the bed they had on the porch inside. 

“Hey.”, she nudged him. He looked up and placed his book to the side. “Have you thought about reaching out to Sean?”, she asked.

“Um... I don’t know. I saw him a couple years ago when he told me he was working at this diner. It was a random visit. I haven’t really spoken to him since but it was nice. Why?”, he asked.

“I was just thinking it might be nice to get in touch with him again. You obviously have some unresolved issues with your relationship with him. Maybe it’d be good to reach out.”, she said.

“I guess. I  _ do _ wish we were closer but it’s hard to be with what I do and he doesn’t live in D.C.”, he said.

“Where does he live?”, she asked.

“Well, he  _ does _ live in Virginia.”, he said.

“So he doesn’t live far. Why haven’t either of you made an effort to see one another? I never get to see my parents. They’re pretty much the only family I really have. If I had more or my mom and I had a better relationship and she wasn’t always traveling, I’d hope that we’d be able to be in each other’s lives more. Maybe you should try that... He  _ is _ after all pretty much the only family  _ you _ have other than Jack.”, she said.

“Would you like to meet him?”, he asked.

“Jack? I don’t think that-“, she started and he cut her off.

“No, I mean my brother.”, he laughed.

“Oh. Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I mean, you’re one of the most important people in my life and you’re the one pushing me to get in contact with him...”, he said, taking her hand.

“I mean, if you feel comfortable with that... You don’t think it’s kind of soon to meet the family?”, she asked.

“Not for  _ us _ . Like I told you earlier, if you were just anybody else I was dating for the amount of time  _ we _ have, then yes. But you’re not just a new girlfriend. We’ve been together a lot longer and you’re my best friend too. I’m not bringing you home to meet the parents. But if you wanted to meet my brother, I don’t see anything weird about that. You’ve already met Carson and here’s more of a brother to me than Sean. But you don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable with it.”, he said.

“No, it’d be nice. I’d love to, assuming he says he’s okay with all of that.”, she said.

“I’m sure he will. Why don’t I give him a call now?”, he said, getting up to find his phone inside the living room. 

He grabbed it and called Sean. After a few rings, he picked up. 

“Aaron?”, Sean said.

“Hey...”, Hotch said.

“What- what’s going on?”, Sean asked, confused.

“I was just thinking about you the other night and thought I should call. It’s been a while...”, Hotch said, pacing across the room slowly.

“I haven’t seen you or even  _ heard _ from you in a couple years... So why’d you  _ really _ call?”, Sean asked.

“Listen... before you say anything, Haley and I split up and I have a girlfriend which I’ll explain more of that later but... we were talking last night and you came up. I didn’t realize how much we’ve missed out on by not keeping in touch. She gave me the push to call you and... I’d like to see you. Do you want to get together soon? Maybe? If not, I completely understand. I’ve been a pretty shitty brother.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah... sure, alright. What’s her name?”, Sean asked.

“Emily. And... I’d like you to meet her.”, Hotch said.

“Whoa. Really?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah. Unless... you don’t feel comfortable with that or prefer it to just be you and I.”, Hotch said.

“No, I’d love to meet her. Wait- but- when the hell did you and Haley separate? That’s huge.”, Sean said. 

“Well, she  _ left _ over a month ago but we were done long before that.”, Hotch said.

“I’m really sorry... We’ll talk about the rest of that later I’m assuming but how long have you been with Emily?”, Sean asked.

“That’s a little more complicated than it seems...”, Hotch said.

“What does  _ that _ mean? How long have you guys been together?”, Sean repeated.

“Long story short... I met her years ago, nothing happened. I was with Haley, Emily was younger and I worked for her mom so... nothing could even have happened but I can’t say I wasn’t attracted to her. I was drawn to her. There was something special about her, I could tell even then. After I moved up in the FBI, I never saw her again until she started at the BAU a little over a year ago. I’m her boss which I know... it sounds bad. But I love her. When she showed up, things with Haley had already gone to shit and I was once again just drawn to Emily and we became involved... on and off for a while. But pretty much ever since the night Haley left, we’ve had nothing really holding us back so I guess you could say we’ve been with each other for a little over a month... officially. But technically... a little over a  _ year _ .”, Hotch said.

“That was the  _ short _ story? Wow. There’s still some questions I have though.”, Sean said.

“I figured you would.”, Hotch said.

“You said you love her.”, Sean said.

“Yeah. I do.”, Hotch said.

“Did you sleep with her before Haley left?”, Sean asked.

“I know it’s bad, alright? I know. I feel horrible about it but Emily is  _ not _ a mistake. It just happened one night and  _ that _ didn’t happen again until after Haley was gone. It was so hard to stay away from her. I thought I could fix me and Haley. I should’ve known what was gonna happen but... I have Emily now, I  _ actually _ have her. I don’t have to feel as guilty anymore or hurt her by pulling away.”, Hotch said.

“What about Jack? What’s gonna happen with him?”, Sean asked.

“Well, Haley is going to file for divorce and I’ll be moving out soon and getting my own place. She’s staying with her sister for now and has Jack. I see him a few times a week or at least try to when I can when work doesn’t get in the way. I think once everything is done, we’ll have joint custody but I’m not sure yet. I’m going to make sure I see him all the time no matter what happens. He’s the most important thing in my life. Along with Emily but I’ll never let anything happen to affect my relationship with Jack. I love him more than anything else.”, Hotch said. 

“Good. I’m glad you guys have some sort of a plan worked out so far... When did you guys wanna get together?”, Sean asked. 

“When are you off work? Are you still working at that diner?”, Hotch asked. 

“No, I work at another restaurant now as a chef actually and at a bar at nights. Making a little extra money. But I can take Friday night off. I’ll drive up and get there after you’re off work?”, Sean said.

“Yeah, I think that’ll work. Do you have anything in mind of what you want to do?”, Hotch asked. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been around the city before...”, Sean said.

“Why don’t we grab a drink or some dinner and we’ll show you around a bit?”, Hotch said.

“Sounds like a plan.”, Sean agreed. “Oh- uh, listen, I gotta head to work in a few minutes but I’ll text you, alright?”

“Alright, yeah. Sounds good.”, Hotch said.

“Bye.”, Sean said, hanging up.

Hotch dropped his phone in the pocket of his sweats and walked back out to the porch. Emily looked up and set her book down, standing up, and walking over to him. 

“Hey, how’d it go?”, she asked, running her hands up his chest and holding on to his shoulders.

“Really well. How’s Friday night for getting together with him sound?”, he asked.

“So he wants to meet?”, she asked.

“Yeah and he wants to meet  _ you _ .”, he said.

“I’ll clear my schedule.”, she said.

“You don’t have anything  _ on _ your schedule.”, he laughed.

“How do  _ you _ know? I could have something on my schedule.”, she said.

“Oh, like what?”, he asked, grabbing her sides.

“I could be going out with JJ or...”, she trailed off.

“Or at home watching tv alone or watching tv with me  _ or _ in  _ bed _ with  _ me _ , which is usually the case.”, he laughed.

“I have a life outside of just you.”, she said.

“The only other thing you and I do when we aren’t spending time together is work and even then, we’re still with each other. The only difference is at work I can’t do this.”, he said, leaning down and kissing her. 

“Whatever. I could have a life outside of you and work if I wanted to.”, she said.

“ _ Whatever _ .”, he laughed, leaning down again and giving her another kiss. “Let’s make some dinner.”, he said. 

They walked into the kitchen and started cooking dinner. They had burgers again and after they ate, Emily went upstairs to start packing a few things before they left the next morning. 

When she came back down, there was a fire in the fireplace going and candles lit with the lights turned off. Hotch had laid a couple blankets and pillows down in front of the fireplace and stood there waiting for her with a smile on his face.

“What’s all this?”, she asked, walking over to him. 

“I thought we should have one last night here that’s special.”, he said, pulling her into his arms, wrapping them around her waist. 

“ _ Oh _ .”, she smiled and brought her hands up to his neck. “It’s very nice.”, she said, giving him a sweet kiss.

He ran his hands up and down her back as they continued. They lowered to the ground and laid down. She laid on top of him, beginning to kiss down his neck and ran her hands up under his shirt and pulled it off. 

Shortly after, she took her own shirt off and leaned back down to bring her lips to his. He reached down and started sliding her pants down and helped kick them to the side. 

“ _ Very _ romantic. You treat me  _ well _ .”, she said, kissing his neck.

“I can do much better than this. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a better night soon.”, he said.

“Any night with you is perfect enough, no matter  _ what _ we’re doing.”, she said, scooting down to pull his sweats off.

As she came back up, he reached for the clasp of her bra and undid it impressively fast but not rushed. She dropped it to the side and fell back onto him. She kissed him softly and he rolled her over gently, laying on top of her. Soon enough he was sliding her underwear off and pulling down his own, putting them next to the rest of their clothing on the ground. 

She’d rested her head on one of the pillows and he pulled a blanket up over them. “Are you warm enough, hun?”, he asked in a soft tone, looking down at her.

“I’m about to be.”, she said.

“Do you want me to grab another blanket? I can go grab one if you want.”, he offered.

“No, sweetie, I’m fine. Thank you.”, she said, running her fingers down his face and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. “The only thing I want right now is  _ you _ .”, she told him.

“I can do  _ that _ .”, he smiled and grabbed his length, finding her entrance and slowly sliding in. “Ohhh... you’re right. You’re definitely warm enough. Quite hot in fact.”, he whispered and let out a small, quiet chuckle.

That night it was slow and gentle, as much as it could be. Sweet and romantic for their last night at the cabin. 

“Just for you, babe.”, she kissed him. 

“ _ Em _ ...”, he moaned as he started moving slowly.

“Ohhh that feels so nice, Aaron.”, she whispered in his ear. 

“ _ Just for you, babe _ .”, he repeated what she’d said a moment before. 

He kissed her ear and behind it and then nibbled on it slightly, making her giggle. She ran her fingers up the back of his head lightly. 

“Mmmm... you’re so cute.”, she said.

“That’s all you, hun.”, he said, pulling away from her neck and continuing to move his hips.

He brought his head down and their lips met. Parting their lips, allowing his tongue to glide in her mouth with hers. She moaned into it and grabbed his back, running her hands up and down. One of his hands was on her, roaming her body and the other on the side of her face.

He changed his movements from moving straight in to rolling his hips and grinding. Eventually she brought her hand down to reach full satisfaction as she could tell he was getting closer by the moans that escaped his mouth and the grip he had on her waist. Before she could bring her hand down all the way, he grabbed it and looked in her eyes. 

“What did I tell you one of our first times? You’re  _ mine _ .  _ I _ take care of  _ you _ .”, he said out of breath but in a soft and quiet tone. 

“Oh, Aaron.  _ Please _ .”, she moaned.

“Sweetie, I’ve got you.”, he said, bringing his mouth to her neck and letting his tongue run over the spot his lips were. 

He took his hand and started to rub her in just the right spot. She loved how he always knew  _ exactly _ where it was without her having to redirect him or tell him. Her toes curled as he kept going in and out of her while simultaneously moving his fingers in just the right way.

“Mmmm... oh god, Aaron. I’m gonna-“, she started but rolled her eyes back in her head and grabbed onto the back of his neck. She returned her eyes to him and he crashed his lips onto hers. 

“Em, I need to feel you come for me. I need you to- fuck...”, he dropped his head forward. 

“I’m almost there, god you feel so good inside me.”, she sighed.

“ _ How _ good?”, he asked.

“Really fuckin’ good.”, she breathed.

“Well  _ you _ feel good when I’m inside you.”, he groaned. “I love you so much, Em.”

“Show me how much, Aaron.  _ Please _ .”, she begged.

He started rubbing her faster but keeping the rhythm of his hips slow still, savoring the moment. He couldn’t help but think it was the most passionate time they’d made love other than their first.

“I can feel you tight around me. Come on, hun, let go. It’s okay.”, he said.

She opened her mouth wide and took a deep breath in when it finally hit her. “Oh,  _ Aaron _ .  _ Yes... Oh god _ . Mmm...”, she moaned into his lips. “So good... yesss...”, she whispered. 

Once he felt her flutter around him, he let it all go inside of her along with a subtle groan. “Ahh god, Emily... ahhh... fuck yes... shit.”

He carefully let his body lay on top of hers once they were both done. He kissed her deep and tucked her hair behind her ear and stared in her eyes. “You’re so beautiful, hun.”, he said, smiling down at her.

She returned the smile and said, “I wish you didn’t have to shave that beard when we get back.”, stroking his face and beard. 

“I know. Maybe I could keep it...”, he said.

“No... you have to shave it for work.”, she said disappointed. 

“Oh well.”, he said and pulled out of her, laying down on his side. She pulled the blanket up more as she scooted over, into his arms. They stayed there for a while until the fire in the fireplace went out. 

Once the heat was no longer there, they got up, wrapped the blankets around them, blew out the candles, and went upstairs into bed.

“What time do you wanna leave tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Whenever we wake up. I’m in no rush.”, he said.

“Well, JJ wanted to get drinks tomorrow night and if it’s okay, can we be back by early afternoon?”, she asked.

“Whatever you want.”, he said.

“Okay, thank you.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss.

“No problem.”, he said. 

“I’m really glad you reached out to Sean by the way.”, she said.

“Me too. Thanks for the push. And... I’m really excited for you to meet him. Although... everyone always falls in love with him. He’s always been the more attractive and charming one, while I’ve always been the successful one who gets asked about cool serial killer cases I’ve worked on when people find out what I do. So... don’t fall in love with him and leave me please.”, he laughed. 

“Shut up. I’m sure that’s not true and besides, I’m already in love with  _ you _ and you’re the most handsome man I know. Don’t worry.”, she said, kissing him all the way down to his shoulder. 

“Okay, fine. I believe you.”, he rolled his eyes.

“Good. Now let’s get some sleep. Oh- and... thank you for tonight. Well, all day really. Somehow, you always manage to make me feel so lucky to have you. I don’t know if I let you  _ know _ that enough but I appreciate everything you do for me. That’s partially why I love you so much. So, thank you.”, she smiled. 

“All the same to you, babe.”, he said, kissing her nose. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” 

She curled up in his arms, keeping each other warm for the rest of the night.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	46. Back Home and... What Did She Just Say?

  
  
  


**Chapter 46**

  
  


**fair warning: very light smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Emily and Hotch woke up around 11:00 the next morning, already packed.

He stretched his arms, grunted and exhaled deeply, bringing his arms back down. Emily was still asleep and he knew she wanted to leave somewhat early. 

He scooted down the tiniest bit, moving her head from his chest to next to his face. He pulled her hair back and placed his lips on the soft, warm skin on her neck and grabbed her side.

“Mmmm. Good morning.”, she mumbled, keeping her eyes closed for a few seconds before looking in front of her at him.

“Good morning. It’s a little after 11:00 so whenever you’re ready, we can head out.”, he told her.

“Mmmkay.”, she said, hugging his side.

“You’re so _cute!_ ”, he laughed.

“Why?”, she asked.

“Aww look at you. When you wake up, you’re just- you’re just so cute.”, he laughed again.

“Give me your head.”, she said and he brought it closer to her.

She reached up and ran her fingers through it, moving them all around.

“What was that for?”, he asked.

“Your bedhead wasn’t messy enough. You know that’s my favorite thing about you when you wake up. But I fixed it. _Now_ you actually look like you just woke up.”, she said.

He sighed and she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and went to the camera on it. She pointed it at Hotch and she quickly took a picture while his eyes were closed. They shot open when he heard the click. 

“What did you just do?”, he asked her. 

She hid her phone under the covers and looked at him. “What do you mean?”, she asked, trying to sound innocent.

“I heard that. Did you take a picture of me again?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said with a straight face but he stared at her long enough until she started to laugh, trying to hold it back.

“I knew it! Where is it?”, he asked.

“Where’s _what?_ ”, she asked, giggling.

He glared at her and looked to his other side, giving her a chance to set her phone on the night table without him noticing. He turned back to her before she could set it down and grabbed her arm.

“Give it to me.”, he said.

“No.”, she said, stubborn and giggling. 

“Emily, give me the phone!”, he said, trying to hold back a laugh himself while struggling to grab it out of her hands.

“No!”, she said and shot her hands under the covers. She bit her lip and smiled at him.

“You think I won’t go down there?”, he asked.

“Come get it.”, she teased him.

“No problem.”, he said, determined.

He reached his hands down for the phone, both of them squirming and she kept bringing the phone up and down and behind her, preventing him from reaching it. 

He became frustrated and gave up but moved his hand one more place.

She lightly gasped and said, “That’s not the phone, Aaron.”

“I know.”, he told her, running his fingers along her most sensitive area, making her shudder. “I think we still have a little bit of time before we have to leave, don’t you?”, he asked.

She was having a hard time getting out an answer but nodded. He stared in her eyes and started to slide a finger in her before he added a second. She managed to steady her breathing once he started moving his fingers in and out of her. Once he could feel her tightening around them, he stopped and pulled them almost all the way out.

“What- why’d you stop?”, she asked, out of breath. 

“Give me the phone.”, he quirked an eyebrow. 

“I really hate you right now.”, she said, handing him the phone and he set it down on his night table.

“No, you don’t. You’re about to call out my name.”, he grinned.

“If you ever let me.”, she said.

“It’d be no fun, if I didn’t, now would it?”, he asked.

“ _Aaron_.”, she snapped at him.

He leaned in for a kiss and started moving his fingers again. When he felt her tighten again, he _didn’t_ stop and let her finish. 

“I told you you’d be calling out my name.”, he smirked.

“Shut up.”, she said, kissing him and reached her hand over for her phone on night stand and grabbed it fast.

“Aghh. Emily!”, he said, reaching for it. 

“You think you can distract me by giving me an orgasm?”, she laughed. 

“Can’t blame a man for trying... Whatever. I give up. At least get one of me with my eyes _open_.”, he said.

She was shocked that he was going to let her take a picture of him. She clicked on the camera and pointed it at him. He stayed laying down and faced her with a soft smile on his face as she took the photo.

“Awww. I love it. Look at your bedhead.”, she told him, showing him the photo.

“Yeah. _Real_ cute.”, he said sarcastically. 

“It _is_ . I’m making it your contact picture in here. I’d change my screensaver to it but _anyone_ could see that very easily.”, she said.

“What about when I call you and my contact picture pops up huge on your whole screen? Aren’t people going to wonder why you have a picture of your half naked boss in bed on your phone?”, he said.

“No one will see it.”, she said, setting his photo for the contact picture.

“Em, it’s a little too risky I think.”, he said.

“It’s _fine_. Nobody will see it. I promise.”, she said, leaning into him and giving him a quick peck on the lips before wrapping the blanket around her naked body and jumping out of bed. 

She ran over to the dresser and changed into her clean outfit she’d set aside the night before. She threw Hotch’s clean pants and boxers at him to change into. Once they were completely dressed and ready to go, he walked down to the dock and brought the boat back into the shed, locking it up.

“Everything in the car?”, he called to her from the living room as he walked in the kitchen.

“Yep. All ready to go.”, she said, handing him the keys. 

They got in the car and headed home. It was only a couple hours of a drive but they were exhausted once they got back to his place. 

They brought in their bags and headed upstairs, setting everything down. 

“Why am I so tired? We got decent sleep last night.”, she said, dragging her feet as she walked over to the bed and sat down on it.

“I don’t know but I’m totally wiped. Do you just wanna take a nap?”, he asked.

“Yes. It’s what, like 2:00 right now?”, she asked.

“2:30.”, he said.

“JJ and I were gonna meet around 7:00 or 7:30. I have some time for a nap.”, she said, taking her shoes and jacket off, getting in the bed. 

He did the same and they didn’t even bother cuddling, too tired to care and just spread out across the bed under the sheets and fell asleep fast. 

Emily had set an alarm for 5:00, allowing her time to go home and get ready before heading out to meet JJ. When the alarm went off, she groaned and rolled over to Hotch, patting his chest.

“Mmmm what?”, he grumbled. 

“I have to go in a few.”, she said.

“No. Stay.”, he said, reaching for her with his eyes still closed. He grabbed and pulled her into him. 

“Although you are very convincing, I _do_ have to go.”, she said.

“You don’t _have_ to. You could stay here and I could cook you dinner and we can watch some of “ _The Twilight Zone_ ” and cuddle.”, he said, kissing her all over in a “cute” way as she would call it.

“I can come back here after! God, it’s like you can’t be away from me for more than a few hours. Seems like somebody has some separation anxiety.”, she laughed, sitting up against the headboard, which he did the same and rested his arm across her lap.

“I’m just so used to spending all my time with you and I never feel like I need a night alone.”, he said.

“I don’t think we’ve spent more than a few nights apart since we’ve been together.”, she said.

“I guess not. But that’s not a bad thing, is it? Have you felt like you need some space? Because you don’t have to come over or have me over all the time if you don’t want.”, he said.

“No. I actually feel the same way as you. I haven’t felt a need to be without you any nights or have space. In fact, it felt kind of weird those few nights I _wasn’t_ with you.”, she said.

“Okay so it wasn’t just me that felt that way.”, he said.

“No. It _definitely_ felt weird being without you as ridiculous as that sounds.”, she said.

“Maybe when I get an apartment soon, I could keep a drawer empty for some of your things or leave some space in the closet. Just so you wouldn’t have to worry about running back to your place the next morning all the time or bringing an outfit over or all your things each night you’re over... I’m going to look at some apartments next week if you want to come. You can say no to both those things though if that seems weird or like too much or anything...”, he said, cautiously.

“Can I say _yes_ to both those things?”, she asked, grinning.

“Absolutely.”, he smiled, giving her a kiss. 

“Great. Because I _am_ saying _yes_ to both things.”, she said.

“Alright, good.”, he smiled. “Oh, um... there _is_ one thing I haven’t brought up but I’m sure you already know this was going to happen... Once I find a place and move in, Haley and I are going to be figuring out custody arrangements with Jack... I don’t know how often he’ll be with me but when he is... you and I won’t be able to spend every night together...”, he said and waited for a response.

“I know.”, she nodded. “That is completely fine, Aaron. I can’t be upset about it because of that. And I’m not. I understand and that’s important. I’m just glad you’ll be able to see him or live with him at all. I know how hard you’ve been trying with that. You’re a great father.”, she said, stroking his face. 

“Thank you...”, he said quietly. “And I know but I also need _you_ to know that you’re a priority in my life too. And that I _do_ want to take your feelings into consideration and let you know I _care_ and I _hear_ you.”, he said.

“Well, I appreciate it but your son is your number one priority, as he should be and I am completely fine with that. I would never expect it to be otherwise and he should always come first for you, no matter what.”, she told him.

“Do you know how amazing you are?”, he asked.

“I’ve been told that quite a bit, yes.”, she chuckled. 

“Well, it’s true. Thank you for being so understanding and supportive all the time.”, he said.

“Like you always tell me, that’s what I’m here for.”, she smiled.

He smiled and held her face, giving her a kiss before she got up and he followed her to the front door downstairs.

“Please be safe tonight. Last time you went out to a bar like the one tonight, I had to throw a guy up against a wall and threaten to arrest him for what he was doing to you.”, he chuckled. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m with JJ too. I’m a trained FBI agent. I know how to be safe and defend myself if I need to.”, she said.

“I know. I just worry. I want you to be safe.”, he said.

“I know. I will be.”, she smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss before she walked out the door. She turned around and said, “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back over here, okay?”

“Okay. I love you.”, he said.

“Love you too, hun.”, she said, getting in her car and drove home.

  
  


Once she got home, she changed into fresh clothes, just jeans and a cute blouse but not too girly girl or fancy, seeing as how that’s definitely not her style.

  
  


She headed out to the bar and met JJ out front. They walked in together and ordered a couple of drinks and headed over to play darts by the back of the room.

“I’m so not ready to go back to work in a couple days.”, JJ said. 

“Me neither. I haven’t had a few days off in forever. I wish we could’ve had longer.”, Emily said as they continued to throw the darts and catch up.

After a little bit, JJ picked up a few darts and right as she threw it at the board, hitting the bullseye, she asked Emily without looking over at her, “So how’s Hotch?”

  
  



	47. JJ Knows

  
  
  


**Chapter 47**

  
  


* * *

Emily was completely caught off-guard with JJ’s question. Did she really just ask her how Hotch was? She knew she had to think quick on her feet but not seem defensive or nervous with her answer. She couldn’t think of anything or _how_ she should even reply so she played dumb.

“Hotch?”, she asked, taking a sip of her beer.

“Oh, well, you probably call him Aaron by now.”, JJ said, throwing her last dart and walking over to Emily standing against a high top table just a foot away from her.

“What? Why would I call him Aaron?”, Emily asked, letting out a fake half laugh, trying to sound confused which to be honest, she kind of was at this point. She didn’t know where JJ was going with this but had a few good ideas of what she might be suspecting. 

“It’d be kind of weird to call your boyfriend by his last name...”, JJ said, picking up her drink and taking a sip. She raised her eyebrows as Emily’s eyes grew wide and looked over to the side, obviously trying to think of something to say next.

“ _What?!_ ”, Emily said.

“Emily, I’m your best friend. You’re a good liar but _I_ know you too well. I knew something was going on between the two of you but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t even know if it was romantic or just some personal issues but then I saw you guys hugging when we were in New Orleans. It was after you guys got the unsub when you were both out together that night, which by the way, I almost fell for but something didn’t feel right about the story or reason why you guys were out at _dinner together_ . When I was walking down the alley in your direction I stopped once I saw you hugging. I’m just glad no one else had caught up to me yet. After that, I just remembered and noticed small things here and there. I pieced them together. The hickeys from the hotel, you falling asleep on his shoulder on the jet and him seeming completely _not_ phased by it at all, that argument last year or whatever in his office when you guys were yelling and you slammed his door and he broke the picture frame. The way you were crying at the hospital when we waited for him to come out of surgery after he was shot and how he asked for _you_ right when he woke up. Oh, and I know I’m not the only who’s noticed he’s been a lot nicer and easy going lately, hasn’t been yelling as much. Honestly, we all just thought he was getting laid which my guess is that, and correct me if I’m wrong because I know you know, he probably is but I think it’s a little more than just that...I’ll admit, you guys keep it really professional. If I hadn’t seen you guys in New Orleans, I wouldn’t have put it all together and nobody else has suspected anything either. _But_ , I _have_ seen the way he looks at you. I don’t think he even knows he’s doing it, I don’t think anyone else has either but... it’s pretty clear to me how much he cares about you. I don’t know where you guys are at or what but just be honest with me now.”, JJ said.

Emily was speechless after everything JJ had just said. She couldn’t believe how she knew all of that and she could have _sworn_ she saw JJ looking away when they pulled apart from the hug that time. She didn’t know how she was going to get out of this one. She figured there was no way of convincing JJ of anything else, other than what she was already sure of. She knew she had to tell her the truth and knew that she wouldn’t get them in trouble and would finally have a friend to talk about it as much as she dreaded the speech she knew she would get from her which was about to come.

“JJ... I don’t know what to say...”, Emily said.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you’re doing? Does _he?_ I mean, this isn’t just some little office workplace scandal... We work for the _FBI!_ Do you get that by going against the rules at _our_ job, it could get _real_ ugly, _real_ fast? I mean the trouble you’d be getting into if anyone found out. Especially because, and I’m only guessing here, you haven’t reported it to Strauss. If that was discovered, it would be even _worse_ . And not just for him but for you too. I’m sorry, Emily. I’m your best friend and I won’t say anything. I’ll be supportive and everything you need. _But_ ... I’m also your best friend... I can’t just let you do something that could jeopardize your whole career and someone else’s, who I know means a lot to you, and sit back and watch it happen. Is it really worth it? You could literally find so many other people somewhere else. Someone who _isn’t_ your boss and _doesn’t_ work with you at all.”, JJ said.

“JJ it’s not like that. He’s not just _some guy I’m dating_ . He’s not just my _boyfriend_ . He’s also, other than _you_ of course... he’s my best friend and I love him. I’m really in love with him...”, Emily admitted, staring her straight in the eyes.

“Emily, how _long_ has this been going on for? I mean obviously there’s been feelings building up for a while, _clearly_ from _both_ of you.”, JJ said.

“That’s a little hard to answer...” Emily said, looking down at her glass. 

“ _Try me._ ”, JJ said.

Emily brought her eyes back to JJ’s and took a deep breath before letting it all out slowly.

“Okay... No judgement.”, Emily told JJ but also asking her.

“No judgement.”, JJ said, putting her hand in agreement.

“Okay, well... I knew him back when he worked for my mom. I was obviously much younger then, he was with Haley, and _he worked for my mother_ . But I’d flirt with him, he noticed me but we weren’t very close obviously or had any more interaction with each other than I had with my own mother. So, we’ve known each other for a while but we really only got to _know_ each other once I started at the BAU...”, Emily stopped for a minute trying to decide where to start or what exactly to say but got stuck. She put her face in her hands in frustration and looked over at JJ.

“JJ, I really don’t know where to start. Things have been _so_ messy and complicated, on and off again the past year, I-“, she started before JJ cut her off. 

“When did anything first happen? Just... start there.”, JJ said. 

“My first few days, he was really nice and we talked and there were definitely some moments that he even now admits were awkward for him because he felt like he was making me feel uncomfortable with his unintentional yet also intentional flirting or this one comment he made...”, she giggled, remembering it.

“Tell me.”, JJ smiled.

“We were talking about my mother and when he worked for her and I said I was surprised he even remembered me and he said it would be _hard_ to forget me. I remember he went pale right after the words came out of his mouth. He tried to cover it up but it was so obvious and he told me recently that it was just a cover up what he said and I told him that _of course_ I knew that. And he just felt so bad, thinking that he made me uncomfortable that whole time.”, she laughed.

“It _is_ crazy to think that all these years later...”, JJ trailed off. 

“I know...”, Emily smiled shy. She shook her head and started again, “Anyway, the first time I _thought_ something was going to happen was soon after all that and he walked me to my car one night and we were talking and something touched a nerve and I started tearing up. He pulled out a tissue and held my face as he wiped away my tears and curled my hair behind my ear and had this smile on his face that just made my nerves shot. And I think he honestly might’ve kissed me if his phone hadn’t rang. It was Haley and she was mad that he wasn’t home yet and they were already fighting all the time at that point. But he called me in the middle of the night that night because he was still awake and said he wanted to check in with me and we ended up talking _literally_ for _hours_ till the sun was up.”, she laughed. 

“I’m sorry but I can’t get over the fact that he just happened to have tissues on him?”, JJ said, partially asking why.

“It’s really sweet actually”, Emily smiled. “He always has a little travel size pack of them and keeps them on him when he’s on a case incase families of the victims need them when you have to talk them or his other reasons are “ _allergies, sometimes you spill things...etc.,among others_ ” but I know they’re really for the families when they get emotional and sometimes even _him_. He just won’t ever admit it. No one else really sees it because he doesn’t show it much but he’s actually a big softie and very sensitive.”, she giggled. 

“ _Really?!_ I _cannot_ picture that for some reason. Does he have a nice smile?”, JJ laughed. 

“It’s my favorite smile. He has really cute dimples. You’ve probably never noticed them because he never smiles around everyone else at work. I’ve been trying to get him to a little more but he even hates it when I get a picture of him. Although, this morning, I got a really nice one of him smiling.”, she said.

“Would it be weird if I asked to see it? As long as it’s an... _appropriate_ photo.”, JJ laughed awkwardly. 

“No, I’d love to actually be able to show a friend of mine a picture of him or a picture of us. You know like normal people get to.”, Emily said, pulling out her phone. She pulled up her camera roll and clicked on the pictures from that morning at the cabin when they were still in bed, fooling around.

“He’s in bed but he’s covered.”, she told JJ and chuckled. 

She handed the phone to JJ, who smiled and gasped at the second one. “He _does_ smile! And you’re right, he _does_ have dimples. I _never_ would have known... Oh wow, look at that bedhead. And the _beard!_ I’ve never seen that before... It actually looks pretty good.”, JJ looked shocked. “Do you have any of you guys together?”, she asked.

“Well, he usually has _crazy_ bedhead and it’s so cute but I messed around with it right before that. I told him it wasn’t messy enough. And yes! I love the beard. He was about to shave it before we left for the cabin but I told him I think he looks sexy with it so he kept it. And there’s only one of us together but a couple more of just him and a couple of me. We both hate having our picture taken but like getting photos of _each other_ . We do this thing where we try and get one of the other when we aren’t looking or end up convincing each other to just smile for the camera after we try and fail anyways.”, she laughed. “Like this one. Before I couldn’t even get the picture, he looked up but I told him to just hold up the edge piece to the puzzle that he was so proud he found after being stuck for so long, and to just _smile_. And this one he got of me after I finally agreed even though I thought I looked like shit and then this one we tried our best to take together which actually turned out alright.”, Emily said, swiping through the pictures.

“Those are cute.”, JJ smiled.

“Thanks.”, Emily smiled shy again and put her phone away. 

“Go on with the story though. When did something finally happen?”, JJ asked.

“Right. Um, the next morning, I got to work early and brought us some coffee and muffins since we were both up really late... or... I guess early. And then we went to Garcia’s office before she came in so we went to help set up the new screen we got for the conference room. He was grabbing a box from the shelf and it fell and he got mad and... had a moment. He thought he scared me but he didn’t and I could tell he felt bad so I walked over to him and he just wouldn’t look at me. I could tell he was still frustrated about something that caused him to have a little outburst and was trying to calm down. So when he didn’t move when I put my hand on his shoulder, I put my other one on and ended up wrapping my arms around his neck and hugged him. And thank god he returned it, otherwise things would have been so awkward... But after he brought his hands to my back, he squeezed me even tighter and we held onto each other for a while. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder and he leaned his head against mine and it was just so intimate. There was no phone to ring and interrupt us and no one else was at work yet. We eventually pulled back but just to like our faces practically touching and he tucked my hair behind my ear... I looked down at one point and he raised my chin to look at _him_ and the way he stared in my eyes... my heart melted. And when he kissed me, we literally forgot about everything and everyone else until we broke apart for air and Penelope started to walk in. So that was the first time something _really_ happened.”, Emily said.

“Emily, I literally just got chills.”, JJ laughed and they both took a couple sips of their drinks. “Okay so give me a summary of the rest of the year and up to now.”

“Alright, here we go.”, Emily said, picking up her glass and finishing the rest of her beer. 

“Don’t be nervous, I’m not asking for a report so I can go to Strauss. I’m your friend, I just wanna know how your _very secret relationship_ started since I was kept in the dark for so long.”, JJ said.

“Brief summary? I _will_ tell you stories later on but this is already a lot for me to take in just having someone know. I don’t have the energy to just talk about everything. It’s so much. Although, I do tend to go on and on so it might be a little more than a brief summary.”, Emily said.

“Brief summary or not brief summary. Whatever.”, JJ agreed.

“Okay. Well, that was the day that we left for the case in L.A. where I got cut and a nice bruise on my face from the unsub before we caught him. Also, the first time you talked to me about pushing through with our job and how it’s worth it and all.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, I remember that one... So a while ago.”, JJ said.

“Yeah. Well, we snuck out of the hotel a couple times and went for dinner and then again to the beach and it was so nice that night on the cool sand by the water, it was just really-“, Emily started before JJ interrupted.

“Did you guys have _sex_ on the beach?!”, JJ asked, shocked, guessing that’s where Emily was going with it.

“No! Of course not. Just... made out... classic fooling around and then nice moments of just being in his arms and looking at the moon over the ocean and walked along the shore. After that, when I went to grab my jacket from the car at dinner a night or two later we all went to before we headed home... I had snapped at him earlier that day, work related and I felt bad . I went up to him and he had just gotten into yet another fight with Haley and I comforted him which seems kind of weird but just being there for him was enough I think until we started making out and pushed each other up against his car. I feel like if we had a room, yes. We probably would’ve had sex but I’m glad now that we didn’t. Because when we finally did... it was amazing. But basically, we broke things off once we got back, I checked in the next morning, he was rude and I got mad and was really hurt. We worked a case, when we got back, Derek drove me home and... we had a little too much to drink... and... that’s who actually gave me the hickeys when you picked me up that next morning and I tried to cover it up with makeup but failed and Aaron saw them- I’m sorry is it weird if I call him Aaron when I talk to you about him?”, Emily asked.

“No, I feel like it would be weird if _I_ called him that but he’s your _boyfriend_ . You should call him _Aaron_.”, JJ said.

“Okay, just checking... Anyway, Aaron saw the hickeys on my neck and was just a total jackass to me about it and then I started to tear up. He felt really bad and came over to me and hugged me, just staying there for a couple minutes and I thought we were okay. But I lied to him about who the guy was that I slept with because he’d gotten a little jealous of Derek when he saw him flirting with me all the time. And I kept reassuring him there was nothing going on but Derek ended up coming over another time or two. Me and Aaron went to get drinks as friends one night and we had fun but this guy ended up getting physical with me. Once Aaron saw, he just ran up to him from across the bar and slammed him up against the wall and kicked him out. He was so worried about me even though I said I was fine because nothing ended up happening but almost. But he was just so concerned, he was freaking out more than me. When we got in his car because I still had alcohol in my system, I told him to calm down about it and let it go. He eventually snapped and started going on about his feelings for me and then he kissed me and we went back to my place. We made out, went to my room, got on the bed, got half naked and then got a work call that cut everything short.”

“There seems to be a pattern here...”, JJ said.

“Yeah whenever we almost crossed some new line, we’d get interrupted.”, Emily laughed, JJ joining in. 

“I guess not anymore.”, JJ said.

“No. We had enough struggles over time. I think that we both deserve peace now. But Derek wanted to take me out so I had agreed to that already and Aaron overheard him talking about that and brought it up the next day I think maybe a couple days later, I’m not really sure but it was when he brought me back to my car at the bar. He asked me about it and got really mad when I told him the truth and told him that I’d slept with Derek twice already and we started yelling. He told me that he couldn’t handle being my friend because he wanted more than that with me and knew he _couldn’t_ have that and said he just needed to be my boss but how he said it and did it hurt _so_ bad. I called Derek when I got home and he came over and slept over without doing anything. Aaron had texted, asking if I got home safe but I didn’t reply and the next morning- oh! Very important part. That night, I found Aaron’s wallet in my bed. It fell out when we were messing around a night or two before. I brought it back to his office the next morning when he wasn’t in. But he walked in and then... well... here’s the truth about that day. Of course you remember the fight we had with the yelling, door slamming, glass breaking and you followed me into the bathroom.”, Emily said.

“ _That’s_ what it _was?_ ”, JJ asked, shocked.

“Yeah. It was _bad_ . Later on, he kept glaring at me and Derek whenever we were with each other and... god, it was awful. I hated being mad at him. Later, we were at a hotel, we ran into each other at the vending machine and we ended up talking it out. We decided we could be friendly without being friends so we tried that. Some time went by and Derek ended up staying over at my place most nights and things were good but it wasn’t the same. One night I was having... a bad night. I was having an anxiety attack. I’ve been getting them for a little bit and they’re getting worse... but we can talk about that later. I called Aaron because he was the only one who knew about them and I cried to him and told him I missed him and he missed me too and all that. We talked for a while until I went to bed and I lied to Derek about who it was on the phone when he woke up. The next day, he overheard Aaron and I talking about it and got mad that I lied but I gave him an excuse and we were good for then. At some point, later on, I went into Aaron’s office and just wanted to check in but he seemed down and I forgot what he said but I ended up telling him I missed him and yet again, he said the same. And then he said nothing had changed except I had moved on and that’s when I lost it. I told him that I think about him all the time, I didn’t know _how_ to move and when I was with Derek I was thinking of him instead of Derek. I felt so bad for saying that and he was silent so I just left. The next day, when you guys were all in Penelope’s office I guess talking about my birthday surprise party, Aaron and I were waiting for you guys in the conference room and it was silent when all of a sudden he apologized to me for not saying anything the night before and letting me walk away. And we turned to each other and he held my hands and he told me what he wanted to say the night before which was a lot of what I said. But then... he started to say that he was falling in love with me and I stopped him and when he tried again, I just kissed him. I pulled away after a minute and you guys all came in like _right_ after.”, Emily said.

“I picked up on some weird vibe in there then but I didn’t know what it was or if it was even because of you. Wow...”, she said.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m going on and on. I’ll try and speed it up a bit.”, Emily apologized.

“Take your time.”, JJ said.

“Later that night when we got to the hotel... I went to his room, not knowing what I was going to do until he opened the door, apparently to come to my room right as my hand was up, ready to knock. Something came over me and I just backed him up into his room and that’s when it finally happened. The first time. And it was _unbelievable_... The connection that we had. Everything we shared and felt and I won’t go into specifics, don’t worry...”, Emily laughed. “But he stopped everything at one point and looked in my eyes with his face pressed to mine and that was the first time he told me he loves me. I was speechless at first and I could see the panic on his face until I said it back and afterwards, I spent the night there in his arms.”, Emily smiled.

“Emily... I had no idea how much... I mean you guys really... I don’t even know what to say.”, JJ smiled soft.

“I know. I know what you mean. We’ve been through a lot together. In fact, the next day... was when he got shot. I literally held him in my arms and tried to stop the bleeding after watching the unsub shoot him right in front of me. And he tried telling me that he loved me like a goodbye when he was on the ground bleeding before the medics came but I was not having it. He coded in the ambulance and I really thought I was going to lose him. It was probably one of the scariest moments of my life...”, Emily choked back a couple tears just thinking about. 

“I know how scared we all were but once again... I had no idea. That must’ve been awful and not being able to tell anyone or have any support. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”, JJ said.

“It’s fine. Really. I stayed with him for a little until he could fly back and the night we got back, Derek came over. Which by the way, the guilt was tremendous. He went through my drawers to clear one out to put his stuff in and he found one of Aaron’s jackets that he had given me. Derek had seen me wearing it one of the nights I came back from the beach with Aaron on the case in L.A. and Derek didn’t know that Aaron _gave_ it to me to _keep_ and not just borrow that night. He accused me of sleeping with him and made a lot of good points and stormed out. We barely spoke for the next couple months or so. I talked to Aaron everyday though while he was at home, recovering, whether it was over text or a phone call. Once he came back and I quit that day, he came to my place and asked me to come with him to meet you guys in Wisconsin for that case. Derek called me later that night when we got home and we were all good and made plans to get dinner and talk. Aaron called me right as I was getting off the phone with Derek and asked me to come over because... that was the night that he came home and Haley and Jack were gone. She just left and so I came over and he cried in my arms, only letting one tear fall and asked me to stay with him so I did. And I didn’t see it coming but once I was in bed and only in a tank top and my underwear and he was in just his boxers... it was hard for us not to do anything so... we did. And it was just as amazing as the first time except we were completely alone with no one nearby and it felt nice and I fell asleep in his arms again.”, Emily said.

“Are you serious?”, JJ asked.

“Listen, their marriage was done for a long time, she just finally decided to physically leave the house. I know it wasn’t great but I think it brought some form of relief in a way to them both to know they didn’t have to be miserable together anymore because they were. Except for the Jack part but that’s all being taken care of now.”, Emily told her.

“No, it’s not just that. This is just one of the craziest love stories or journeys of this whatever it is, that I’ve ever heard.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one thinking that. Try _living_ it.”, Emily let a laugh as well. “I swear I’m almost done.”

“Seriously, it’s okay. I want to know as much as possible but expect more specific details later for each story you’ve got.” JJ said.

“Alright, after that, we barely spent a night apart, switching between my place and his. On my birthday he took me to a surprise date at a drive-in theatre and it was great. But then I ran into someone and I had to leave... it’s hard to explain... I can’t talk about it... not even with him. That’s part of the reason why it sucked so much and he got really worried about me which warmed my heart that he cared that much but I could tell he was _really_ worried and I hated that. But the next day, everything was resolved and he took me on another date and we went to an art gallery where his friend had some of his stuff showing and it felt nice getting to dress up and go on a _real_ date. You know, to be around a friend, someone we know, _together_ as a _couple_ . We can’t exactly do that with any of you guys and we don’t have too many other friends outside of work. We went back to his friend’s place afterwards, had a drink, looked at old photos from when they were younger. It was really nice. Until we were going to go back to his place and _finish our date_... but...”, Emily raised her eyebrows staring at JJ.

“I called you guys for a case, didn’t I?”, she asked.

“Of course you did!”, Emily laughed.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry!”. JJ dropped her head, trying to stop laughing.

“It’s fine but you obviously knew something was up because we were both dressed up and I fell asleep on his shoulder and-“, Emily started before JJ cut her off.

“That’s when you fell asleep on his shoulder! Ooookayyy. It’s all making sense now. Wait... so do you really snore?”, JJ giggled.

“He says I do but last time he told me that, I smacked him with a pillow. He knows better now and has apparently gotten used to it but... he could just be lying. He said he thought it was really cute, just so adorable.”, Emily laughed.

“That is just so sweet. Wow.”, JJ smiled.

“Almost completely caught up now.”, Emily said. “We got back to the hotel that night and I called him to come to my room and he ended up... staying the night, you know...”, she made a face letting JJ know exactly what she meant.

“ _Again! Again on a case!_ That does _not_ sound like Hotch _at all._ He’s our boss and he’s breaking _so many_ rules. I’m not upset or mad about it, I just think it’s kind of funny to know that _Hotch_ , of all people is the one enforcing them _and_ breaking them.”, JJ laughed even harder.

“Yeah, as he told me the other morning, I bring out this whole other side of him. But I won’t say what kind.”, Emily laughed, making JJ put her hand over her mouth in shock and holding back a laugh for only a couple seconds. 

“ _Still_ . I can’t believe he really did that on a _case_.”, JJ said.

“It wasn’t exactly his idea... In fact, he wasn’t in the mood that night, being so tired and all but that usually changes when my hands are all over him.”, Emily bit her lip and let out a laugh when JJ went crazy.

“Oh my god! _Emily!_ ”, JJ was dying of laughter.

“ _What!_ I can’t help it, neither can he. To be perfectly honest, once again without going in to _too_ much detail...”, Emily said and then brought her face closer to JJ’s and whispered, “I’ve never had this much sex in any relationship I’ve been in. It’s just all the time. Usually, we’ll go multiple times a day. I’ve been with guys younger than him and a lot of them couldn’t go more than once a day. You know how for older men, it usually goes _downhill_ over time? That is _not_ the case for him. _At all_.”

JJ looked genuinely surprised. “Seriously? There’s no way. He’s in his 40’s. Men in their 40’s can’t... get hard that often...”, JJ whispered at the end.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. But... he does.”, Emily shrugged her shoulders.

“So he’s...?”, JJ started but felt a little uncomfortable to finish the sentence just yet. She was very aware that was her boss she was talking about but also her friend’s boyfriend. It’s normal for them to talk about each other’s boyfriends but she still wasn’t completely used to it being their boss yet.

“Good?”, Emily asked and JJ nodded. “Best I’ve ever had...”, she whispered, watching JJ’s reaction and trying to understand what it was. “As you can probably tell, he gets a little jealous so I usually have to reassure him by letting him know that no one has ever compared to him before and how much I love _him_ . But it’s not an unhealthy type of jealousy or like a possessive kind. I mean, I guess when it came to Derek, I always laughed about it and Aaron wasn’t quite as amused. But it turns out he _did_ end up having a reason to be jealous so...”, she shrugged her shoulders.

“How do you reassure him all the time? It seems like if he gets _that_ jealous, there’s nothing to really do to change his mind.”, JJ asked.

“You really wanna know?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah...?”, JJ asked, suddenly skeptical and took a swig of her beer.

“I tell him he’s bigger. Bigger than all the others.”, Emily whispered.

JJ practically choked on her drink for a moment and Emily just laughed. “I asked if you really wanted to know! That’s what I tell him! I tell him he’s bigger and I tell him how much I love him and how I’ve never loved anyone as much as him before.”, Emily said.

JJ regained control again and was breathing normally after drinking a couple sips of water. “Is it true?”, JJ asked.

“What? If he’s bigger? Yeah that part is _definitely_ true.”, Emily laughed. 

JJ smacked her forehead for not specifying the question before she asked it. “Not really _that_ part. I mean more like the part where you’ve never loved anyone as much as you love _him_.”, JJ said.

“Oh. Well... yeah. I’ve honestly never felt this way before. About anybody.”, Emily blushed. 

JJ’s tone got more serious but calming at the same time. “You’re _really_ in love with him, aren’t you? This isn’t just some guy who you’ve been dating for a little bit and felt comfortable enough to say ‘ _I love you_ ’ to. You guys came back together after all these years and right when his marriage was ending... as if like... you guys were meant to be.”, JJ said.

“That’s exactly what he was saying the other day. I don’t know how much I agree with it but we talked about it. Oh but I’m almost done with my story.”, Emily said.

“Go for it.”, JJ encouraged her.

“So he came to my room and we ended up... enjoying each other’s company and then we went to sleep until you woke us up. And I would’ve talked to you about this but I kind of couldn’t until now because _now_ you know about us. But... when you came to my room that night... Aaron heard everything. He kept asking me if Reid was using and what you meant and why it was never reported.”, Emily said.

“Shit. What did you tell him?” JJ asked. 

“I told him that he was in there as my _boyfriend_ , not my _boss_ . And that I had to go and didn’t have time to talk _and_ that I can’t talk about it with him anyways. When we were at the lounge waiting for Reid to get up and you made me go call the “guy I was seeing”, I _was_ with Aaron then so I guess that wasn’t completely a lie but... he tried asking me about it again over the phone. I told him the same and then he gave up and just asked me to come back because he missed me.”, she giggled. 

“Are you _sure_ he’s not obsessive?”, JJ laughed. 

“I’m sure. I love him just the way he is and the way he makes me feel. It’s more in a cute, silly way. He’s not so serious about it. Although, I could see why you may think that, seeing as you’ve only known him to be serious.”, Emily smiled and then started laughing. 

“What?”, JJ asked.

“I’m just thinking about the next morning. He was so tired when the alarm went off because he got woken up 3 times throughout the night. So to wake him up more, I started kissing his neck and took his hand and guided it up my shirt and he instantly opened his eyes and was awake. And a few minutes later, he was _wide_ awake and it was really nice and right in the middle of it, Reid knocked on the door. _Right_ in the middle of _really good_ sex, Reid just _had_ to knock on the door and we just waited for him to go away and _right_ as Aaron started moving again and brought his head back down to kiss me, before our lips could even touch, Reid knocked again and Aaron got so frustrated that we had to stop right in the middle of it. I mean, I was frustrated too but it’s kind of funny to look back on now.”, Emily chuckled while JJ was dying of laughter and it was only partially because she was drunk. 

“I hope you guys were able to finish what you started.”, JJ said, still laughing.

“Yeah but not until that night! We had to wait _hours!_ When I came back inside though after Reid walked away after we spoke, Aaron was already dressed and he was actually pretty _pissed_ but not about the sex. I mean he was frustrated in another sense with that but he was pissed about something else. It was because he heard everything Reid said to me. And I felt really bad because he made some good points about not being able to report it but having to know this and he’s right, like he said, it does put him a horrible position.”, Emily’s smile dropped.

“I’m really sorry... has it come up at all since?”, JJ asked.

“Thankfully, no. And I hope it stays that way just like I hope Reid continues to stay clean.”, Emily said. 

“Me too... Okay so what else! I need to know everything up to now.”, JJ said.

“Really, there’s not too much else. We’ve just been taking it easy the past month or so, enjoying the stability for now. He’s been able to see Jack every week which has been really good for both of them. Him and Haley are on a good page. She’s filing the divorce papers soon so that’ll be a little rough but they both knew it was kind of over for a long time now. I mean, all they did was fight or barely speak. He even said that they hadn’t had sex since Jack was conceived... so our first time was definitely amazing for both of us... for many reasons. But things seem to be good between all of them right now and because of that, he seems to be really happy and in a good space. He’s going to look at some apartments later this week and asked if I’d go with him. So I think that’ll be nice for him to have someone help support him with that because of the _reason_ why he’s looking at them. He’s lived in that house for a while, saying goodbye to it’s gottaaaa- what? Wwwwhyy are you looking at me like that?”, Emily asked slowly and very confused.

“He wants you to _go with him_ to look at _apartments?_ ”, JJ asked, with her eyebrows raised, seeming to suggest something.

“Yeeaaahh? What? What is it?”, Emily asked again.

“Do you think maybe he’s asking you to go with him so he could get your opinion on it?”, JJ asked, still seeming to be hinting at something but Emily couldn’t figure out what.

“Yeah, sure. Is that strange?”, Emily asked.

“I’m just wondering if maybe he wants to see if _you_ like it. As in, not _just_ for him.”, JJ said.

“I’m still not following...”, Emily said.

“ _Emily_ ... did the possibility ever cross your mind that _maybe_ he wants to know if _you_ like it because he might want you to spend more time there and get a place that you’d _both_ feel at home, maybe a place that you might want to move into with him at some point maybe not _too_ long from now?”, JJ asked.

“ _What?!_ No. No, that’s crazy. We were just talking about us spending nights at each other’s places.”, Emily shook her head.

“Hmm _really!_ Doesn’t sound like they’re related at _all_.”, JJ said sarcastically.

“JJ...”, Emily warned.

“What were you guys talking about? What did he say?”, JJ asked.

“I was teasing him before I met with you tonight because we just got back from the cabin and-“, Emily started but got cut off.

“Cabin? What cabin?”, JJ asked.

“I’ll tell you after this. But that’s where we were the past few days. That’s where we were in those pictures I showed you. Anyways, I’ll get to that in a minute. Did you wanna hear what he said about the apartment or not?”, Emily asked.

“Yes, yes. Go on.”, JJ said.

“So, I was teasing him because we took a nap and I woke him up to tell him I had to leave to come meet you. He didn’t want me to go and was pouting but it was kind of cute. He said he could make me dinner and watch our favorite show, do _other_ favorite things of ours. I said something... where I like teased him about having separation anxiety and how I was just going to be out for a few hours and come back to him after and we laughed. Then he said he was just so used to spending all his time with me and never felt like he needed a night alone.”, Emily said.

“ _Emily!_ Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? The words that came out of _his_ mouth?! What else did he say?”, JJ asked.

“Uhhh I said I don’t think we’ve spent more than a few nights apart from each other since we’ve been together. I’m just always at his place or he’s always at mine. He agreed and said “ _that’s not a bad thing though, is it?_ ” and asked if I felt like I needed space though and I don’t have to come over or have him over if I don’t _want_ but like the way he said it, seemed like he did want to spend time with me but wanted to let me know I shouldn’t feel pressured to. And I said that no, I didn’t feel like I needed or wanted any space and I felt the same way as him. And that if anything, it felt weird those nights I was _without_ him and he said, “ _Okay so it wasn’t just me that felt that way_ .” and I told him _no_ , it definitely felt weird being without him. And right after I said that, he said that maybe when he gets an apartment soon, he could keep a drawer empty for some of my stuff or clear space in the closet. That way, I’m not having to always bring a bag over with me or run back to my place the next morning to change. And after he said that, was when he asked if I wanted to go look at some apartments with him next week. And I said _yes_ to both things.”, Emily said.

“ _E-mi-ly!_ You don’t see it? He wants to take the next step or at least _some_ step in your relationship. He wants you to be over more. Maybe see what it’s like for if you guys did eventually move in together?”, JJ said.

“He has Jack. He’s going to have joint custody of him soon enough, as long as that’s what they both end up agreeing to which seems to be the plan.”, Emily said. 

“Does Haley know about you guys?”, JJ asked. 

“God no! Not to my knowledge at least.”, Emily said.

“Have you ever met Jack?”, JJ asked.

“No and I don’t see that happening for a long time _if_ that ever happens. You’ve met him, right?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, when he was literally a newborn.”, JJ laughed. 

“He’s really cute... I’d _like_ to be able to meet him _eventually_ . But after all that... he also said that once custody is figured out and he has his new place, whenever he _does_ have Jack, we _won’t_ be able to spend every night together, which is like so obvious, like I wouldn’t even think I would do that! But I could tell it kind of hurt him to say it, but I completely understand, you know. And I told him that and that his son should always come first no matter what and he was really glad I understood. And then he told me that he wanted to make sure I knew that _I_ was a priority in his life _too_ and he wants to take my feelings into consideration and that I know he _cares_ and _hears_ me. I don’t know how or when he’ll eventually tell Haley but I’m sure it’ll happen at some point when it’s the right time which _obviously_ isn’t right now.”, Emily said.

“You love him and he loves you and if you can make it work, that’s all that matters. I know it sucks not being able to tell anybody but it sounds like he has one friend you have already and still can hangout with and now you have _me_. Maybe next time Will is in town, we can go out and do something all together.”, JJ said. 

“That’d be really nice. I think we’d both like that a lot.”, Emily said.

“Great. Now tell me about this _cabin_.”, JJ said, with a seductive tone, making Emily laugh. 

“It’s his family’s cabin. They’ve been going up there forever. He eventually started going with his friend on his own once he got older and his family almost never goes up. He’s got some issues with them. But I think you met his brother Sean briefly a couple years ago. He got in touch with him a couple days ago and we’re actually going to meet up with him on Friday night I think. So there’s that. But yeah, the cabin was just a couple hours away in the woods on a lake. You actually woke us up when you called me the other morning.”, Emily laughed.

“I seem to get in the way of anything you guys do together, don’t I?”, JJ laughed.

“That time, we really _were_ sleeping. But yes, we did have a lot of sex too.”, Emily laughed.

“From what you’ve told me so far, I’m sure you did.”, JJ said as they both started laughing uncontrollably.

“Oh my god, it’s almost 10:30. Why am I so exhausted?”, Emily yawned. 

“I don’t know but I’m ready to head to bed too if you wanna get out of here now.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, let me just close our tabs, I’ll be right back.”, Emily walked away.

She came back a minute later and grabbed her coat, walking out to her car with JJ.

“Do you need a ride?”, she asked her.

“No, I’m sober, I’m all good. Thanks though. Hey, um... are you gonna tell Hotch that I know?”, JJ asked. 

“I was planning on it. After all the secrets and lies we _have_ had in our lives so far even with each other, and including each other, it’s gotten messy so now... we just try and be honest about literally everything. There’s just one thing I can’t really talk about with him or anybody for that matter and he knows that and I told him it’s honestly for his own good but he doesn’t really believe that but he respects it. But other than that, we’re always honest. Unless there’s a certain reason not to...?”, she asked JJ.

“No, I was just wondering.”, JJ said.

“Listen, I’m sorry you had to find out by reading our body language and catching us having moments and me not telling you. I’m sorry... I just didn’t want to tell anybody and I’m sure you understand why.”, Emily said.

“Of course I do.”, JJ said.

“Thank you. I’m really lucky to have you in my life.”, she told JJ, giving her a hug.

“I’m just glad you let me into it, you’re my best friend. It’s hard to make those with what we do.”, JJ said.

“All the same to you.”, Emily said. 

They let go of each other and said goodnight as they walked to their cars. As JJ drove home, Emily drove to Hotch’s house and called him on the way.

Once he saw her lights in the driveway pull up, he ran over to the front door. She got out of her car and walked inside when he opened it for her. He pulled her in for a passionate kiss once the door closed and they rocked back and forth, side to side until he released her lips from his. 

“What was _that_ for?”, she laughed.

“I just missed you.”, he said in a cute voice, one similar to the ones you use when you talk to babies and dogs which made her laugh even more.

“You’re cute.”, she said.

“I know.”, he said, bringing his lips to hers again. 

She knew she had to tell him about JJ and she had no idea how he was going to react. But she wanted to change into her pajamas first and get in bed before she did. 

She led him upstairs and grabbed some pajama pants and a t-shirt from her suitcase. She’d left it at his house before she went to her place to get ready, knowing she’d be coming back anyways. Once they got in bed, she sat up against the headboard and looked over at him already smiling at her. His expression changed when he noticed the serious look on her face.

“Em, what’s going on?”, he asked, grabbing her hand.

She paused before opening her mouth and saying, “JJ knows.”

He looked confused and didn’t know what she was talking about at first. “JJ knows what?”, he asked.

“Everything.”, she told him.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

“JJ knows. About us. About everything.”, she said, almost in a whisper.

He stayed silent for a moment and just stared at her. She couldn’t tell if he looked scared or sad or confused or what. But it wasn’t a happy face.

“Aaron?”, she said.

“Oh...”, he said, looking straight forward but still holding onto her hand, gripping it tighter and stroking it with his thumb.

He had a million questions racing through his mind but had no idea where to start.

  
  



	48. "Maybe It's Not a Bad Thing"

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 48**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Aaron?”, Emily said, waiting a little before speaking again. “Honey, can you look at me?”

He sighed and closed his eyes, turning his head to face hers and opened his eyes again, meeting hers. His right hand still holding her left and stroking it, she brought her free one up to his face and held it there. Bringing their tone of voice down to soft and quiet. 

“Are you okay?”, she asked.

“I don’t really know what to say...”, he told her.

“Okay. How about I start?”, she suggested, bringing her hand around to the back of his head and lightly scratched it, massaging it, in hopes to calm him down and soothe him. It seemed to be working when he closed his eyes and nodded his head.

“We were at the bar, having fun, playing some darts, drinking, talking. And she just randomly asked me how you were. And I just repeated your name, your last name and she said I probably call you _Aaron_ now. I asked her why I would do that and she said it’d be pretty weird for me to call my boyfriend by his last name. I didn’t say anything other than “what?” and then she went on saying she knew there was something going on for a while now but didn’t know what. But she saw us hug in New Orleans and then put all the pieces together I guess and... everything she said... she was very sure about and I couldn’t deny it or argue with it. She told me she wasn’t going to tell anyone and no one else knew. She’s my best friend... other than _you_ . So we just talked about it and I started from the very beginning. Overall, we ended up talking about _everything_ and I told her a bunch of stories and she loved to hear them all. She’s happy for us. It’s a good thing. And...”, she started as she leaned her forehead onto his, still rubbing the back of his head, his eyes still closed. “... I showed her the picture of us together and she thinks we’re _very cute together._ ”, she smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead, returning hers back to his. “She even suggested we go out with her and Will some time when he’s in town next... It’s all okay.”, she whispered the last part. 

He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out when he whispered, “Okay.”

“Okay? Really? You’re not upset?”, she asked. 

He pulled his head back and opened his eyes to look at her. “Emily... there’s nothing to do about it. She _knows_ . I trust her. Just like I told you on your first day at work. I trust my team. And she’s your friend and _you_ trust her. And I trust _you_ . _Maybe_... it’s good she knows.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Like you said, she’s your best friend. I wouldn’t expect you to keep it a secret from her forever. I mean, I don’t know what to do about the rest of the team. I definitely don’t think we should say anything to anyone else but I think it’s good you have a friend who knows. _I do._ And I’ve thought about it before. How it sucks that I get to have a friend who knows and we hung out but you _didn’t_ . So... yeah. Maybe it’s not a bad thing. I think we should _definitely_ be more careful now with work but as long as JJ is okay and you’re okay... then I’m okay. You _are_ okay, aren’t you?”, he asked.

“Yeah. I am. Especially now that _you_ are and we talked about it. I thought you were gonna be really mad.”, she chuckled quietly.

He squeezed her hand tight and brought it up to hold with both his hands. “Why would I be mad?”, he asked.

“Because JJ found out and you didn’t want anyone to and I didn’t want you to worry about our jobs being in jeopardy even though they aren’t. And...”, she looked down.

“And _what_ , Em?”, he asked and brought his head down to hers.

“And I thought that maybe... it would scare you away.”, she brought her head back up to look at him.

“Ohhhh, _sweetie_ ... you could _never_ scare me off.”, he scooted closer until their sides were pressed against each other’s and wrapped his arm behind her, pulling her in more. “Nothing you could ever do, would make me want to leave. Besides, this wasn’t even _you. JJ_ figured it out. Don’t feel bad about any of it. We probably could’ve even told her sooner. I guess... I just wanted to be sure that we were _serious?_ I don’t know. Maybe not _serious_ . I already knew I loved you before we were in a relationship but maybe I wanted to make sure we were going to stay in one. We’ve had so many ups and downs and I wanted to be sure we were stable and in a good place this time. I used to be scared about so many things before we were together and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t want to be scared that you might be mad at me and decide to not talk to me for a while and it wouldn’t matter anyways because we just work together and have no commitment to talk about it or work it out. I don’t want to be scared that you might just start sleeping with or dating someone else because you’re single and I can’t be with you anyways. I don’t want to be scared that there’ll be days where you’re upset or in trouble and I can’t be there for you because I’m _just_ your boss. I want to feel safe and secure _with_ you. I want to know that I can come home to you or with you whether it’s mine or yours and _be_ with you. I want to be able to hold you and not feel guilty about it or fear that I’ll get in trouble for it. I want to tell you I love you whenever I want and know it’s not wrong and know you’ll say it back and _know_ that we both mean it. Because... I know I’m not _that_ young anymore and I still don’t know what the _rest_ of my future is going to look like completely but...”, he said and moved his free hand to her face. He tucked her hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek and continued, “... I know I want you in it. I don’t want you leaving and I don’t want to leave. That won’t happen no matter what you say or what you do. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure I never hurt you... Ever since you came back into my life, it’s been hard to imagine it without you... I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you... I love you.”, he told her. 

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose and opened them as she exhaled. She stared deep in Hotch’s eyes but hadn’t smiled or cried or anything yet. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Em?... Im sorry. I know that we haven’t talked about a lot of that stuff yet and maybe I shouldn’t have said it all... but it’s true.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said and placed her hand on his leg. “I love that we have a commitment to each other. You’re right, the stability was much needed and I don’t ever want to go back to the way things were. It hurt not being able to talk to you and touch you and _show_ you I love you. And now we get to. And... I’m really glad you said all of that because I feel the same way... about all of it. I don’t want to let you go and it’s hard to imagine now, being without you. And I don’t wanna have to.”

He softly smiled and pulled her face into his, bringing his lips to hers. When he pulled away, he looked in her eyes and said, “I was worried for a minute when you didn’t say anything at first. I really thought I’d said too much.”

“No. You didn’t. I didn’t know how to say it all right but you just did and that’s one more reason why I love you. You always seem to be able to understand me even when I don’t and you’re not afraid to be honest. Is it stupid if I say you complete me?”, she laughed.

“Not at all because I’ll be honest right now and tell you that I really _was_ broken until I found you again. Is it stupid for _me_ to say that?”, he laughed.

“Not at all.”, she smiled, leaning in for another kiss. 

She slid her hand up from his leg to his back under his shirt. They finally broke for air when she lifted it off, him taking hers off right after. They slid down, her on her back and him on top of her she eventually broke their kiss and started to giggle.

“What? You _do_ know it’s not really good to laugh when you’re in bed with someone, right? They might think you’re laughing at-“, he started but she cut him off.

“I’m not laughing at you. It’s just something I said earlier. I’m sorry, I’m all good.”, she said, trying to stop her laughing by pulling him back down for a kiss and sliding his pants down while he kicked them off to the side. Shortly after, he went for _her_ pajama pants and laid flat on top of her, his bare chest touching hers. Once he began grinding on her, she started to giggle against his lips again and he pulled them off, looking at her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”, she tried to contain the laugh coming from her mouth and ran her hands along his face. 

“ _What is it!_ ”, he said. “I’m trying to make love to you and you can’t seem to stop laughing... doesn’t bode well for a guy when that happens...”, he said.

“Honey, I’m not laughing at you or any part of you, I promise.”, she said.

“Well what is it then? I’m kind of in the mood here...”, he said.

“It’s just something I was talking with JJ about earlier.”, she said. He gave her a look letting her know to continue. “I was just telling her about...”

“About what?”, he asked.

“Just about you.”, she smiled.

“What _about_ me?”, he asked, curious.

“We talked a lot about you. It’s hard to remember every little thing. Not that we talked about anything that _was… little_.”, she put her hand over her mouth.

“What does _that_ mean?”, he asked. When she didn’t reply, he furrowed his eyebrows and said, “Emily, did you talk to her about our sex life?”

Bringing her hand down from her mouth and onto his face. “Not _a lot_ . I just said it was good!”, she said. He kept his eyebrows the same. “Okay, I might’ve mentioned how... _impressive_ you are in many ways.”

“ _Like?_ ”, he questioned her.

“Like how... nobody compares to you in many respects.”, she said.

“ _What!_ ”, he whispered. 

“Okay, okay, fine. I might’ve... mentioned... how you’re... _bigger_... than anyone else I’ve ever been with.”, she said, shutting her mouth right away and rolling her lips in, nervous for what he might say next but also trying to hide another laugh. 

“You talked to JJ about... how big my...”, he shut his eyes in frustration. “... about how big my dick is?”, he whispered through his teeth. 

“I didn’t go into detail! I just said that...”, she lied.

“Emily, I’ve been a profiler for a really long time and I’m your boyfriend. I know when you’re lying. What else did you tell her?”, he said.

“I told her that we have _a lot_ of sex and that you’re the best I’ve ever had. But we talked about stuff that’s not _just_ sex. Okay?”, she said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Emily! That’s my subordinate! I’m her boss! And you’re telling her about our sex life and intimate details of it?!”, he said.

“She’s _also_ my friend and girls talk about that stuff with each other! I’m sorry!”, she said.

“I really hope she doesn’t look at me weird on Monday. God...”, he sighed. “Is it at least true?”, he asked.

“Which part?”, she asked. 

“All of it. Did you lie to her about any of it?”, he asked.

“ _All_ of it is true. And she also likes the beard.”, she said, running her hand over it.

He smiled at first after knowing all of that until she said the last part. “How does she know what I look like with the beard?”, he furrowed his eyebrows again.

“I might’ve shown her the picture...”, she raised her eyebrows and tried to look innocent yet apologetic. 

“I was in bed without a shirt on in that photo!”, he said.

“You couldn’t see anything in it!”, she said.

“Oh my god...”, he sighed.

“Are you mad?”, she rolled her lips in.

He closed his eyes tight again and let out another sigh, “No... Just... don’t tell her anything else about what we do in bed, please.”, he said after opening his eyes again. “I can’t stay mad at you.”, he laughed, leaning down for a kiss. 

“Deal.”, she smiled, bringing her lips to his and her hands to his face.

He started grinding on her again and when she could feel he was ready she went for his boxers but he got to her underwear first. Once they were gone, he let her finish sliding his off.

“You kind of have a reputation to live up to now.”, she said.

“Is _that_ so?”, he said. 

“Uh huh.”, she breathed as he teased her before lining himself up with her entrance. 

“I think I can do that.”, he smirked and slid into her, bringing his lips back to hers after she gasped. 

Like always, he waited to feel she was ready before he did anything else other than kiss her. Once he felt her loosen around him, he began to move in deeper and pulled halfway out a few seconds after he hit as far back as he could. 

“God, it feels like it’s been forever.”, he said.

“It’s literally been 24 hours.”, she laughed.

“Exactly. Way too long.”, he said, moving back in.

He set a slow pace and moved down onto her but supporting his weight so he didn’t crush her. He kissed her neck and she placed her hand on the back of _his_ with her other running down his back, digging her nails in.

“So am I really better than all the others?”, he asked, out of breath.

“So much.”, she breathed.

“How?”, he asked, moaning right after, beginning to suck on her neck.

“You just- ohhhh mmmm... are. Because I’m- ahh right there- in love with you.”, she breathed.

“I fucking love you so much.”, he grunted, moving faster. 

“I love you too but if you suck on my neck any harder, I’m gonna have to wear turtlenecks for a week.”, she said. “As much as I love it, we’re tryna be a little more low key.” 

“I’m sorry, hun. You just drive me crazy.”, he said, picking up the speed more and switching to kissing her neck. 

“Show me how much.”, she whispered.

He started going even harder and faster making her breath hitch each time she moved her hips and met him thrust for thrust. 

“Come on, babe. Give me more.”, she moaned.

“Ahhh fuck.”, he panted.

“Yes. Just like that, don’t stop.”, she whined.

“Jesus, Em.”, he grunted, moving just the way she kept telling him to. “Ahh I’m gonna come.”, he said, bringing his hand down to her and helping her get to the point he was at, refusing to let go until he had her with him. 

Her grip on him tightened once she felt it close and arched her back. “Aaron, ohhh- so close.”, she said. 

“Good.”, he smiled, bringing their lips together. 

He felt her start to tighten and brought his lips back down to her neck and sucked lightly. He knew it was one of her favorite things he did and couldn’t help himself. 

“Yes, oh god!”, she moaned.

“Are you gonna come for me?”, he whispered.

“Yes, oh my- ohhhh fuck.”, she ran her fingers through his hair and grabbed on tight. “I’m about to- shit I’m gonna come, please, Aaron, please.” 

He panted and kept up with what he was doing, holding on and waiting for her until he finally felt her flutter around him and called out his name. He finally let it all go and buried his face into her neck as she stroked the back of his head. 

“God, Em. There’s never been anyone like you before.”, he said, pulling out of her and resting up against the headboard. He pulled the covers up to his waist and up to cover her chest. 

“Does that mean I’m _also_ the best you’ve ever had?”, she giggled.

“By far.”, he said, trying to catch his breath.

“Good.”, she smiled and scooted into his arms which he gladly accepted and wrapped them around her.

“So what else did you and JJ talk about?”, he asked.

“She lectured me for about a minute and then I told her you weren’t just anybody to me and that nobody can replace you and that’s why I won’t just find somebody else.”, she said, rubbing his chest. “She also said you have a cute smile and was surprised to see you have dimples. Which are also very cute.”, she told him, kissing his cheek. 

He laughed at that and said, “I hope she still takes me seriously.”

“Why? Because now she knows you actually _smile?_ ”, she said.

“You know why I am the way I am at work?”, he asked.

“Because you’re too afraid to show any emotion in fear that somebody may actually think you’re human.”, she said.

“Are you profiling me, Emily Prentiss?”, he chuckled.

“You’ve done it to me _many_ times.”, she raised her eyebrows.

“Fair enough.”, he said.

“She also felt bad she couldn’t be there for me when you were in the hospital after you were shot or every time we got in a fight and I needed a friend to turn to. Because at the time, you and I were the only ones who knew.”, she said.

“Emily, I don’t know if I ever thanked you for staying with me those days in the hospital before you flew back with me after I got out. I’m glad I had _you_ by my side. Besides, it would’ve been really awkward for Morgan or Gideon or Reid to help me get dressed. At least you’d already seen me without clothes on.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, that part is definitely true. You were still pretty defiant though. But it was worth it because that’s what you do for the ones you love and I know you would’ve been there for me too if I were in your position.”, she said.

“Actually, I wouldn’t have been able to... I would’ve wanted to so badly but... I wouldn’t have been able to.”, he told her.

“Right... I forgot.”, she said.

“I wouldn’t be able to stay back with you or in the hospital but I would be able to come home every day and take care of you and check in with you and... I don’t want to talk about this. It makes me sad. I don’t want to think about you being hurt. It’s hard enough watching you run after an unsub who could literally kill you and just... so many other things. That’s one reason I don’t like us working together. I have to see you get hurt sometimes. And I hate that.”, he said, rubbing her arm up and down. 

“I hate it too. You’ve been hurt way worse than I have, right in front of me and I couldn’t stop him. _Seriously_ , I can’t think of many other times I’d been that scared. _And_ you just told me that you love me for the first time the night before that. So imagine how I felt, thinking I had to let you go already.”, she laughed.

“Well, you didn’t end up having to do that.”, he said.

“Oh, also... JJ said that one of the moments she _really_ started to suspect something was going on between us was when you asked for me specifically right away when you woke up from the anesthesia.”, she said.

“I couldn’t control that. Literally, my mind was so foggy, I couldn’t think or even put words together very well.”, he laughed.

“Well, you knew to ask for me first.”, she said.

“That’s because you’re _always_ on my mind and even though I couldn’t remember anything in the moment, I still knew something happened to you, I couldn’t quite explain what it was but I knew I needed to make sure you were okay before anything else.”, he said.

“It was really hard not sitting by your side when we all came in. And holding back my tears... JJ definitely noticed that.”, she said.

“I know. But we aren’t there anymore.”, he said, kissing the top of her head. 

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to tell anybody about us?”, she said quietly. 

“I’d like to think so.”, he said.

“Well, one person knows for now. That’s good enough for me.”, she said, letting out a quiet yawn.

“As long as I have you in my life, that’s good enough for _me_.”, he told her. 

“Mmhmm.”, she hummed.

“Em?”, he asked, looking at her. Her eyes were closed and she nuzzled her head on his chest.

“Mmm?”, she asked.

“Come on, let’s go to sleep.”, he said, holding her and helping her lay down.

Once his head hit the pillow, he kept hers close to his chest. She wrapped her arm around him and reached up for his shoulder, holding on. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, pulling her in more with his other arm. 

“I love you, hun.”, he whispered.

“Mmm I love you too.”, she mumbled and rubbed his back, placing a soft kiss on his chest and returning her head to it. 

It was in that moment that he knew he wanted to spend every minute he could with her. He wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms every night and wake up to her cute snoring every morning. He didn’t want to spend a night without her, which they barely did anyways but he wanted to know she’d be coming home to him. He wanted to call _his_ place, _their_ place. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that for a while because of Jack and not until he meets her, which he had no idea when that would be. He wanted to tell Emily everything but didn’t want to get her hopes up if it’ll be a while until they can do anything about it. So, he kept his mouth shut for the time being. 

  
  



	49. "Because I Love You"

  
  
  


**Chapter 49**

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


The next morning, Emily and Hotch didn’t get out of bed for a couple hours after they woke up. They had no agenda for the day other than relaxing before going back to work the next day. Knowing they’d have to both go to work and see JJ was a bit uncomfortable for him but not so much for her. 

“So, are you going to tell JJ about what we just did right now?”, he said, out of breath. 

“What we just did right now _twice_ , you mean. I don’t get to brag about my boyfriend being able to do that?”, she laughed.

“What do you mean _being able to do that?_ You think I’m too old to go more than once?”, he asked. 

“No, it’s just not a lot of men your age _can_.”, she said.

“Men _my age?_ ”, he asked, sitting up on his elbows. 

“This was supposed to be a compliment...”, she said, letting a bit of a laugh out.

“Mmhmm. So have you ever been with a man _my_ age before?”, he said, leaning over her with a smirk on his face. He brought his lips down to her neck but she didn’t answer at first.

Right when he said that, the first thing that came to mind was Ian Doyle. He _was_ after all, the only man she’d been with that was Hotch’s age. He was also the _last_ man she was with besides Derek. 

Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust. Whenever Ian came up, her anxiety spiked and all she could think about was if she had any Xanax with her.

Bringing her attention back to Hotch and him climbing on top of her, he brought his lips to hers and started moving on her. She could feel him getting hard again and knew she wasn’t in the space to fully enjoy it. She’d completely forgotten the question he’d asked her until he spoke again. 

“Or am I the only one?”, he whispered in her ear, moving his lips back down to her neck.

He put his hand on her thigh and ran it down to her knee. She knew he was going to pick it up and bring it around his waist but just couldn’t keep going when she felt the way she did. Knowing her as well as he did and the fact that she still hadn’t answered him yet, he stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

“Em, are you alright? Do you want me to stop?”, he asked, stroking her hair. 

She still didn’t respond, trying to think of an answer, one involving a good reason why she didn’t want to go again. One where he wouldn’t worry too much but she couldn’t think of anything. At this point he knew something was wrong and asked her again.

“Emily? Where did you go right now?”, he asked.

She came back to the moment and looked him in the eyes. “I just um- feel like a shower right now...”, she said. 

“Okay. Yeah, we can take a shower.”, he said, rolling off of her. He reached for her wrist and held it as she sat up before she got out of bed. He felt her racing pulse and body shaking slightly. “Em... what-“, he started but she gently pulled her hand away from him. 

She grabbed one of his t-shirts from the ground and put it on. She walked out the bedroom door without saying a word as he just watched her, trying to figure out what had just happened. 

He knew whenever she got like this, she was usually having an anxiety attack or it was building up to one. He also knew that when that was the case, she either wanted space from everyone and everything or needed him to hold her. He wasn’t _completely_ sure which one it was this time but had a feeling it was the first. 

He always felt horrible whenever it happened, seeing her like that, not knowing what triggered it or what it’s about. He wanted to be there for her but knew he couldn’t every time. 

Getting out of bed, he grabbed his boxers and put them on. He walked over to her bag, knowing she had her Xanax packed in it and grabbed the bottle from it. He poured out one pill and heard her walking upstairs. Before she came in, he put the bottle back and closed the bag. 

Each step she took up the stairs, her legs wobbled from her body shaking along with the glass of water in her hand. She walked into the bedroom and saw Hotch standing up and walked over to her with the pill in his hand. He held his hand out for her to take it and once she did, she looked at him confused.

“I just knew.”, he said.

She took the pill and swallowed it with a sip of water before walking over to the nightstand and setting it down. He stayed in place, standing by the foot of the bed, not wanting to crowd her or hover.

“Is there anything I can do for you, hun?”, he asked. 

“Can I take a shower?”, she tried her best to keep her voice steady. 

“Of course.”, he said. 

She walked past him without saying anything else or looking at him. It took everything in him to not hug her and try to talk to her about it. They seemed to know everything about each other except for this. Part of him felt mad that she couldn’t tell him what it was, seeing as how she knew everything about _him_ and he’d never held anything back. But another part was just mad that he couldn’t help her more.

After a few minutes, he realized there were no clean towels in the bathroom and went to grab one from the closet in the hall. He walked back into the bedroom and slowly approached the bathroom. 

“Hey, Em? I’ve got a fresh towel here for you. I’m just gonna set it down on the counter, okay?”, he waited a few seconds for a response but she said nothing. “Is there anything else I can get you?”, he asked. 

There was still no response and he started to get a little worried. 

He held onto the towel and walked into the bathroom more, slowly moving towards the shower. “Em, are you alright?”, he asked, having his voice let her know he was walking up so he didn’t scare her. Still with no answer, he approached the large walk-in shower and saw her sitting on the ground of it with her back against the wall. Her hair was wet and slicked back and she had her knees brought up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her head was buried in her knees, the water barely hitting her.

Once again, Hotch didn’t want to smother her so he asked her one more time, “Emily, are you okay?” When he still got no response , he set the towel down and walked in, not even caring that his boxers got wet from the shower. 

He crouched down next to her and looked all around her body to make sure nothing had happened to her. He brought his voice down to a hushed tone. “Emily, are you hurt? Did something happen?”, he asked. He kept his hands off her at first but when she still wouldn’t say anything, he put his hand on her back. “Em, you’re worrying me.”, he said. 

She finally brought her head up and rested her chin on her knees. She didn’t turn to face him so he moved in front of her and cocked his head to make eye contact with her. He brought his hand from her back up to her head and gently placed his lips on it. 

She still didn’t speak but didn’t pull away either. She closed her eyes and he couldn’t stand to watch her like that anymore. He moved to behind her and sat down with his back against the wall. He opened his legs and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and held her tight. She leaned back into him a bit and grabbed his arms, pulling them tighter around her and holding on. He felt her shaking and heard her sniffle. He kissed her shoulder and dropped his head over it, resting it next to her head. 

“It’s okay, hun. I’m right here.”, he whispered. He kissed the side of her head and pressed his forehead to it. He felt her grip on his arms tighten as she squeezed him and he suddenly _heard_ her cry.

He’d seen her cry before but never sobbing except for one time over the phone and she was having an anxiety attack that time too. But it wasn’t anything like this. He’d never seen her like this and his heart broke. Even though they were both wet, he could still feel a tear running down from his own eyes.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m right here with you.”, he said. 

After a while, she calmed down and he still had his head rested against hers over her shoulder. He kept it there even when she finally spoke.

“Thank you...”, she whispered.

“You scared me.”, he said, nuzzling his head against hers more.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”, she said.

“Don’t ever apologize about this. Ever.”, he said.

“Why are you so willing to do this?”, she asked.

“Because I love you.”, he told her.

“But you don’t deserve having to deal with this or take care of me.”, she said.

“You are not something I have to _deal_ with. You are not something I just _put up_ with. Don’t ever think that.”, he said. 

“You don’t deserve this. You didn’t sign up for any of this.”, she said.

“When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with all of you, every part of you. When I decided I wanted to be with you, I accepted all of you, every part of you. That’s not going to change. This doesn’t make me love you any less.”, he said.

“I hope you know I feel the same way.”, she said.

“I do.”, he said, kissing her head again. 

“Okay, let's get out now. I got you soaked and wasted a lot of water.”, she said standing up with him. He reached outside the shower and grabbed her towel. He wrapped it around her from behind and held her tight. 

“Don’t worry about any of that. That doesn’t matter. What matters is _you_. Are you feeling any better?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I think I am. Thank you.”, she said.

“Good, now let's get changed.”, he said as they walked out into the bedroom. “I think you’re out of clean clothes but you can wear some of my sweats and a shirt.”, he said grabbing them and a dry pair of boxers for himself, along with pajama pants but no shirt.

Once they were fully clothed, they went downstairs to the kitchen. She sat down at the table with one leg up on the chair, her knee to her chest, as he pulled out ingredients to make breakfast. 

“What are you gonna make?”, she asked. 

“You’ve never tried my crepes, have you?”, he asked.

“I didn’t even know you could make them.”, she said.

“Well, now you do and you’re about to try them. _I_ think they’re pretty good but be honest.”, he told her. 

“I promise.”, she said.

He sat down at the table and served their breakfast, bringing her silverware and a napkin along with her glass of water. 

“Thanks, hun. Wow. These look delicious.”, she said.

“I hope they are.”, he said as they both took a bite. 

“Oh my god. These are amazing.”, she said, covering her mouth while she finished her bite.

“Chef Prentiss approval?”, he asked.

“Definitely.”, she said.

He smiled at her and she laughed, “What?”

“You just look really cute in my clothes.”, he said.

“They’re very comfy. I might just keep them.”, she said. 

He glared at her and she giggled, “Alright, fine. I’ll give them back.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Em, can we talk about earlier?”, he asked.

“What about it?”, she said.

“Was it something I did or something I said that triggered you?”, he asked.

“It was nothing you _did_... I can’t prevent you from saying certain things. It’s not even always anything in particular that will cause it. Sometimes it’s just things that remind me of... stuff and there’s no way to predict that or say a certain topic is off limits because it can be different things at different times that really does it... That probably doesn’t make sense...”, she said.

“No, it does. Can I ask you what it was that I said that did it this time?”, he said.

“I don’t want you to feel like it was your fault. Because it wasn’t.”, she said.

“I don’t want to be afraid to say something wrong all the time or fear something might... upset you.”, he said.

She bit her lip and looked over to the side and slightly nodded her head before looking back at him. “Okay. But I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about this topic ever because part of it _didn’t_ do anything. Part of it, I talk about sometimes and it doesn’t bring it up. In fact, I was talking about this topic with JJ last night and I’ve talked about it with you too before. Sometimes it just happens, sometimes it doesn’t. So I don’t want to say certain things are off limits, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he nodded.

“ _This_ time it was when you asked me if I’d ever been with a man your age before. That’s literally it. Like I said, you and I have talked about it and JJ and I were talking about it last night and nothing happened then. So don’t feel like it was you who caused any of this, please.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yes, completely. In fact, I’ll answer the question right now.”, she said.

“No, Emily, you don’t have to, really.”, he said, putting his hand up.

“No. I’m fine. I want to be able to share stuff like this with you.”, she said.

“I don’t want it to-“, he started.

“It won’t. I told you. I’m fine. So. To answer your question, yes. I have been with one other guy your age. It wasn’t _too_ long ago. It was complicated. It was kind of a serious relationship. Actually, it was _very_ complicated. I’m glad it ended. I guess you could say I wasn’t fully in it. It wasn’t healthy for many reasons and I’m not sure if it was worth it or not. Sometimes I feel like I regret it.”, she said.

“Being _with_ him or _ending_ it?”, he asked.

“Honestly... both. Like I said, it was _very_ complicated and a lot of different factors played a role in both starting the relationship and ending it.”, she said.

“Can I ask you why it triggers you so much? Maybe I can make sure-“, he started.

“No, honey, you- you can’t do that to yourself...”, she said and reached her hand out for his. “It was a hard time in my life. I made a lot of crazy decisions and took a lot of risks that I’m still unsure about having done. But you can’t do anything about that. I know you want to fix it but you can’t. And that’s okay. It’s my own thing and I’ll work it out. If you really want to help me, just be here. Your support and presence is what helps me the most.”, she said.

“Did he hurt you?”, he asked.

“No. I’ve never had any trauma like that in my life so don’t worry about triggering anything related to that, okay?”, she said.

He just looked down and nodded. She could tell he felt bad there was nothing he could do so she walked over to him and sat on his lap. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and grabbed his face under his chin, holding his jaw and brought his lips to hers with her other hand. 

“I. Love. You.”, she said.

“I love you too, babe.”, he said, rubbing her back and holding onto her legs on his lap. 

“Thank you for being there for me earlier and the _way_ that you were. _Nobody_ has ever been like that for me before. When I told JJ that no one compares to you and you’re better and more impressive in many respects... I didn’t just mean in bed. I mean everything you do for me. You as a person, everything about you is different from anyone I’ve ever been with. It’s better. You’re better. Although, that other part is true too. But I’m sure you already knew that.”, she giggled.

“Yeah, you’ve told me once or twice.”, he chuckled, letting her guide his lips to hers again. “Em, you need to eat more. You’re so light. I can easily pick you up.”

“I _do_ eat! I never hear you complaining when I’m on top, so...”, she said.

“Well how often does that actually happen?”, he asked.

“It would happen more if you didn’t flip me over every time, not that I’m complaining about that either though. I like it when you take control.”, she kissed him. 

“Mmmm _really?_ ”, he asked, smiling against her lips before joining them again.

“Mmhmm.”, she hummed into them.

Next thing she knew, he was picking her up and carrying her upstairs while she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed his neck. 

They got to the bed and fell onto it. Hovering over her for only a few seconds before she said, “Why don’t we switch things up a bit like you said?”, she flipped him over and got on top. 

“Okay, yeah you’re right. I have no complaints here.”, he said.

“Didn’t think so.”, she told him. 

Half an hour later they laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. He held her hand but then pulled her into him and rested her head on the pillow next to him. 

“We need to get new hobbies.”, he laughed.

“Why? I think this is fun and I never get sick of it.”, she said.

“Me neither but don’t you think we should still find other things to do?”, he asked.

“Maybe but I like this a lot more than anything else. _And_ it’s good for you. It releases endorphins, creating pleasure for both of us. Or at least, I hope for both of us. It sure seemed like it a few minutes ago but...”, she said.

“No. Definitely both us. _Definitely_.”, he said.

“Aaron?”, she asked.

“Yeah?”, he said.

“I want you to know you can have your moments too around me. Even just in general. I feel like you never let yourself feel a lot of things.”, she said.

“I _feel_ things. I feel love for you every second of the day. And for Jack. I feel happy when I see you both, even when I think of you. You and Jack are probably two of the most important people in my life. You guys make me feel so many things.”, he said.

“I know but I never see you break down. I’ve seen you cry twice. I’ve seen you throw people down on the ground before and yell at them, usually just unsubs.”, she laughed. “But I’ve never seen you really break down. It’s okay to have moments where you’re not okay. I don’t want to feel like the only one in this relationship who does. Not that I want you to be unhappy. But it’s healthy to let it out sometimes. And I’m here for when that happens.”, she said.

“I cried when we were in the shower earlier and I was holding you. Seeing you like that... I cried.”, he said.

“You did?”, she asked.

“Yeah, Em. _It broke my heart._ It actually hurt really bad to see you in pain like that. To see you struggling and I’m here for it. I’m here for you no matter what is happening or what you’re going through.”, he said.

“I am too. I just wish you would let me. I wish you wouldn’t bottle so much up inside.”, she said.

“If I ever have a moment, you’ll be the first person I call.”, he said, making them both laugh. 

“We’re both pretty damaged, huh?”, she said.

“A little bit, yeah.”, he chuckled.

“Maybe we _were_ meant to be together.”, she said.

  
  



	50. "Prove Me Wrong"

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 50**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


“What did you just say?”, Hotch asked.

“What?”, Emily said.

“You just said maybe we _were_ meant to be together.”, he said.

“Well...”, she started.

He looked over at her and smiled. “I thought you didn’t believe in that kind of stuff.”, he said.

“I don’t! I just...”, she couldn’t finish her sentence, at a loss for words.

“Uh huh. That’s what I thought. Now I’m not the only one.”, he said.

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you before because I knew you’d rub it in my face but... you’re _not_ the only one.”, she said.

He looked at her, confused for a minute and then realized who she was talking about. “ _JJ?!_ ” _,_ he said.

“Yep. I told her I have never loved anyone as much as you and she said it was crazy how we came back together after all these years and at the right time. Like we were meant to be but...”, she shrugged her shoulders.

“You just said maybe we _were!_ ”, he said.

“Whateverrrr. Don’t listen to me. Do you think you’re ready to face her tomorrow though?”, she asked.

“Oh god... all I’m going to be thinking about is how she has a mental image of me naked because of _you!_ ”, he said, starting to tickle her. 

Through the squealing and kicking around, she managed to grab a hold of him in a particular area. He stopped everything he was doing and moaned right as her hand touched him. 

“Wow... four times already? This has got to be some kind of record for us.”, he laughed.

“Uh huh.”, she agreed, pulling him on top of her and kissing him deep. “Day’s not over yet.”, she said, wrapping her legs around his waist under the sheets. 

Later that day, they drove to her apartment to grab some of her clothing to put together a go-bag for the next day. 

“You didn’t have to drive all the way here with me. I could’ve just come right back.”, she said, packing some shirts.

“Of course I’m going to come with you. Any chance I get to spend alone with you especially since those moments are very rare with our job.”, he said, helping her finish putting together the bag and zipping it up. 

She turned around to face him and put her hand on his face. “Thank you, honey.”, she said, giving him a quick kiss and picking up her bag.

They walked out to the car and drove back to his place. They spent the rest of the day, cuddled up on the couch, watching tv and talking about how they’re both going to manage facing JJ at work the next day. It got dark earlier than they expected and he made her dinner, going to bed shortly after.

“What do you think about Saturday for going to look at some apartments?”, he asked, stroking her arm.

She was silent for a moment, thinking about what JJ had told her the night before. About how he might want her opinion for if she eventually moves in. She was dying to know if any of it was true. 

“Is there a reason why you want me to go with you to do that?”, she asked him.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

“Are you hoping to get my opinion for any reason in particular?”, she hinted.

“Ahh alright. I didn’t want to bring it up yet but since you’re asking... yeah, I guess I was hoping you’d come with me to see if _you_ like them. If you like them as a place you might want to eventually call _your_ place too...”, he said.

“Okay... that’s what I was thinking you might say.”, she told him.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to, I know that’s kind of soon but the timeline of our relationship isn’t like any other typical one. _I_ wouldn’t feel like it was too soon if you could move in now. I just didn’t want to freak you out in case maybe that seems like too big of a step for you. And if it didn’t, I didn’t want to be disappointing to you, saying that but then having to wait a while until Jack can meet you and Haley be okay with everything...”, he said.

“I spend almost every night over here when you’re not at _my_ place... Maybe it _wouldn’t_ be crazy if we _did_ move in together. I mean, I already know what it’s like to live with you and I love you and I don’t see myself being with anybody else but you...”, she said.

“Wait... sooo you’re saying _yes_ to this? You want to move in with me?”, he asked, feeling his heart race and sitting up on his elbows with the anticipation of her answer.

“I _think so_... yes...”, she said, sounding unsure, making him worry and she could see it all over his face. “Yes, I wanna move in with you.”, she reassured him and flashed him a big smile.

He couldn’t help but grin and ask one more time to be sure. “Really?!”, he asked her.

She nodded her head and said, “Mmhmm.”, still with a big smile and brought his face down to hers. She kissed him deep and he climbed on top of her, holding her side and her face. 

“I don’t know how long it’ll be until it happens but... I’m just so glad you want to.”, he said.

“I’m excited to go look on Saturday.”, she said, running her hands along his face.

“I love you.”, he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead and moving his lips all the way down until his head was between her legs. He pulled her pants down and showed her his appreciation for everything she said and agreed to.

“I love you too.”, she breathed.

  
  


The next morning, Emily and Hotch arrived at work together and walked into the conference room when they heard they got a case. Other than JJ, they were the first ones in there. They made sure to sit apart from each other this time, knowing they couldn’t be next to one another every time. 

“Soooo...”, JJ smirked, “... how was the rest of your weekend?”, she said in a flirty tone to both of them.

“It was _fine_ . Listen… I appreciate you not saying anything but let’s... try not to bring it up at work _too_ much. But... let us know when Will is in town next. I _would_ like to get together and do something.”, Hotch said in his Unit Chief voice while looking down at the file. He looked up at her briefly and gave her a small smile, just enough for her to see his dimples.

“Her positivity _has_ rubbed off on you. It’s nice to see you smile _in person_... Just so you know, I still take you just as serious as before and respect you just as much. It doesn’t change anything for me.”, JJ said. 

“Good. Thank you.”, he told her, turning around to look for everyone else and sighed. “I’m going to let everyone know we’re meeting _now_.”, he started walking out the door but turned back around to them. “I know you’re going to talk about me once I leave. Just cut it out before we come in.”, he let out half a laugh and smiled before walking away. 

JJ shrugged her shoulders and looked at Emily. “He knows you pretty well, I guess.”, she said.

“He knows _women_ pretty well. I’m just surprised he said anything. Also, I’m surprised he smiled and laughed.”, Emily said. 

“Me too... so I’m guessing he took the news well.”, JJ said.

“Yeah. I thought he was gonna freak out but he didn’t at all. And he said he trusts you. Which is huge so thank you... also...”, Emily smiled and looked down.

“What?”, JJ asked.

“You were right about all the stuff with the apartments.”, Emily said, looking back at her.

“What did he say?!”, JJ asked.

“He asked me to move in with him...”, Emily smiled.

“I knew it! And? What did you say?!”, JJ asked, getting way too excited.

“I said _yes_.”, Emily let out a nervous laugh.

“Oh my god! Really?!”, JJ squealed.

“Yeah! But... I don’t know when that’ll be. I haven’t even met Jack yet so... it’s gonna have to wait for a while but... that’s the plan whenever we’re able to.”, Emily smiled.

“I’m so happy for you. See! I told you! I _told you!_ ”, JJ said.

They both laughed and saw Hotch walking back in with everybody else and cut it out just like he’d told them to. They stayed calm all the way through the briefing and got on the jet after.

Emily sat next to JJ on the couch seat in the middle of the jet along the wall, while Hotch sat across from Rossi in seats right across from Emily and JJ, facing them. They were going over the case more and Emily pulled out her phone, sending a text to Hotch and put it away once he eyed her for being on her phone and not paying attention. Right after she did, he felt his phone buzz but ignored it.

Once they were done going over the case and had 15 minutes before they were supposed to land, Hotch pulled out his phone and saw the text from Emily. Once he read it and saw the winking face at the end she typed, his eyes widened. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. 

“You alright?”, Rossi asked Hotch.

Hotch looked up at him from his phone, caught off guard. “What?”, he asked.

“Are you alright? You get an interesting text?”, Rossi raised his eyebrow. 

“Dave, please. You really think I would- I don’t- no. And I’m fine.”, Hotch said, putting his hand up. He turned his phone on again and started typing back to Emily and sent it.

When she felt her phone buzz, she decided to go to the bathroom so nobody would notice them both texting. Once she closed the door behind her, she opened the message from him that said: “ _You can’t be doing that during work._ ”

“ _But it’s fun. Do you not feel excited now for tonight?_ ”, she asked.

“ _I feel something for sure and that’s why you can’t do that during work time._ ”, he sent.

“ _You’re no fun_.”, she texted.

“ _You really think so?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Yep. But you can always prove me wrong ;)_ ”, she said.

“ _Emily, I swear to god._ ”, he said.

“ _I’m coming out now but I expect you to prove me wrong tonight._ ”, she sent him, ending their conversation over text.

Once they got off the jet, Emily rode with JJ to the station. “So... I saw Hotch getting a little uhhh frustrated... kept clearing his throat, shifting around in his seat when he looked at his phone.”, JJ hinted at something.

“I might’ve sent him a text that could have gotten him a bit... excited.”, Emily laughed. 

“Let me guess, he told you not to at work.”, JJ said.

“You’re getting to know him so well.”, Emily said.

“He brought his fist to his mouth but I saw him let a slight smile pass at one point.”, JJ said.

“Good. He needs to enjoy _some_ things a little bit.”, Emily said.

They got to the station and set everything up. By the end of the day, they felt they’d gotten nowhere except for having a search party fail by having one more woman get taken by the unsub. Everybody was packing up to leave when Hotch walked over to Emily, knowing no one was nearby and whispered in her ear, “So my room or yours?”

She blushed when she looked up at him biting his lip with a smile. “Maybe yours. Probably less distractions. I’d hate to have a repeat of last time with Reid.”, she laughed. 

“Don’t even remind me.”, he said. 

“I’ll meet you back there.”, she said.

As he walked out, Derek walked in and went up to her. “Hey, you wanna ride back with me?”, he asked.

“Sure. I’m ready now.”, she said. 

Ever since her and Derek went out for dinner and smoothed things over right before her birthday, they’d gotten back to normal. As they were driving, Derek looked over at Emily and she became nervous for what was about to come out of his mouth.

“Did you talk to Penelope earlier?”, he asked.

She sighed with relief but also frustration. “Yeah, I did.”, she said.

“And? Did she mention anything about me? Did she say why she’s so pissed?”, he asked.

“Derek... when a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn’t want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.”, she said.

“I wasn’t trying to fix her. I was just telling her to go with her gut. She got nervous that this random guy from a coffee shop asked her out and I told her to go for it. But she got skeptical and turned him down. I told her maybe it was for the best, something was definitely wrong with him. I didn’t mean it because he asked her out, I was just trying to agree with her or make her feel better because she felt off about it earlier.”, he said.

“Just give her some space. Apologize later. She’ll understand.”, Emily said, placing her hand on his shoulder. He nodded and stayed silent the rest of the drive.

When they got back to the hotel, he walked her to her room and said _goodnight_ before she gave him a hug. She walked in her room and got changed into her pajamas before heading over to Hotch’s room. 

When he opened the door, he pulled her inside and started kissing her neck as they made their way to bed. She laid down on it and grabbed his shirt.

“I honestly thought this wouldn’t even be on when I got here.”, she said, pulling it off.

“So sorry to disappoint.”, he said.

She pulled her tank top off and he went straight for her shorts and underwear at the same time. Right after, he pulled his _own_ down at the same time and got on top of her. 

“Somebody’s eager.”, she said.

“I’m just proving you wrong like you told me to earlier.”, he said, crashing his lips onto hers.

“I think you might have to try a little harder than this. If you’re gonna prove me wrong, you have to be a lot more convincing. Come on.”, she said. 

“If you say so.”, he told her, picking her up and placing her on all fours. “Is this what you meant?”, he said, teasing her along her folds, hard as a rock. 

“More.”, she said.

Shortly after she said that, he grabbed her waist with one hand and slammed in. He started moving slow after he gave her a minute. “Is _that_ what you meant?”, he asked, grabbing her waist with both hands now. 

“More!”, she said. “I said you’re no fun. Show me you _are!_ ”

He gripped her sides hard and started pounding into her. She met him with each movement, going back onto him. 

“What’d you do to my ass last time, Aaron?”, she said, turning her face around to him and biting her lip with a devilish grin.

“I can’t do that here. That’s too loud.”, he said, out of breath.

“Wow, no fun. Like I said.”, she panted.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Before he knew it, his hand made contact with her ass, making her cry out. “You gotta be quiet, babe.”, he said.

“Do it again. I’ll be quiet, I promise.”, she breathed.

Before she could say anymore, his hand hit harder than before, hoping no one heard. He barely heard it but he could still hear a muffled cry from Emily even though she kept her mouth shut. 

“Emily, I can’t do this unless you’re quiet.”, he said.

She nodded and put her hand over her mouth so when he smacked her ass again twice in a row, he barely heard her.

He kept going hard and faster until he felt her squeeze him inside. He could tell she was trying to wait for him and he didn’t want to keep her hanging on too long. He lost all control and grabbed onto the headboard, going as fast and as hard as he could.

“Ah fuck... I-“, he couldn’t finish, being too out of breath. 

“Come on, harder.”, she tried not to scream. “I’m gonna come. Oh my god. Don’t make me go alone.”, she whined.

“Never.”, he managed to get out before he felt it rising in him. “Okay, okay.”, he panted. He came back down and reached forward, laying his body on hers and wrapping his arms around her, holding her up and keeping her close to him. Still moving in and out, he whispered in her ear, “Let go, hun. I’m right behind you.”, kissing her cheek and all over her neck. 

She’d held on long enough and finally let herself go like he said to. “Shit! Oh- oh- oh... my god. Aaron, yesss. Fucking come with me, please, pleeeeeaase. Oh my god you feel so good just-“, she moaned, trying to say everything through her teeth before he interrupted her.

“Mmmmm fuck! Emily, ahh.”, he hissed as he emptied himself inside her and buried his face in her neck. He rolled his eyes back in his head and squeezed her body tight while he thrusted in twice more and finally stopped. Catching his breath, he whispered in her ear, “So is that what you had in mind?”

“Yes, I definitely take back what I said earlier.”, she said, breathing hard. They both fell on the bed and pulled the sheets over them. 

“I’d say that was _pretty fun_ for a _boring guy_ like me.”, he laughed.

“You are _not_ boring, that’s for sure.”, she said, resting her hand on his chest and kissing all over his neck while he wrapped an arm around her. 

He closed his eyes and smiled, drawing circles on her back until she felt him stop. 

“Aaron?”, she whispered. With no response, she realized he’d fallen asleep and decided to join him in that. 

The next day was hectic; all of them running around until they got an address and arrested the unsub. They got on the jet afterwards and headed back home. 

Derek was sitting alone in a seat and staring out the window when Emily walked up and sat across from him. He turned over to her and threw his head back, exhausted. 

“What’s going on?”, she asked softly.

“You know what happened to me when I was younger... This priest back there just really...”, he shook his head. “He tried to tell me that God never gives us more than we can handle... Does he have any idea that...”, he sighed. “I got so mad at him and I didn’t even know him. I went to church everyday and prayed for it to stop happening when I was a kid. I lost all faith I had because nothing changed... but after seeing what this guy did and the way the priest reacted to him... I made peace with him after... it just shifted something in me. It’s bringing a lot back and making me think, maybe I did the wrong thing by not going back to church, maybe if I kept up with things, I’d have that stronger connection...”, he said.

“Maybe you should go... maybe you should try going again.”, Emily said.

“Yeah... maybe...”, he said, looking out the window again. She patted him on the shoulder and walked over to sit with JJ. 

Once the jet landed, they all headed back to the BAU and finished up their reports. When they were all done, Rossi, Spencer, and Derek left, while JJ, Emily, and Hotch stuck behind. 

JJ went through some more case files down by the desks and Emily walked up to Hotch’s office with her coat and bag.

“Hey, you ready to go?”, she asked, walking over to his desk. 

“Yeah, I just finished the last paper.”, he said, standing up. He grabbed her bag and set it down before taking her large black coat. “Sweetie, you know how cold you get. Why bring a coat if you aren’t going to wear it outside?”, he said, slipping it on her from behind and kissing her cheek.

She grabbed her bag and slung the strap around her shoulder. “Maybe because I like it when you do that for me.”, she smiled, turning around to him. 

Before he could say anything back to her or reach for his briefcase, his phone rang. He pulled it out of his suit jacket and answered it. “Hotchner... Yes, she does... I’m sorry?... Which one?... I’m on my way.”, he hung up and looked over at Emily. 

She touched his arm and instantly became worried by the worried look in _his_ eyes. “Aaron... What happened? Who was that?”, she asked. 

“That was the hospital. We have to go.”, he said, putting his arm around her and walking her out of his office with him. 

“The _hospital?_ Aaron, what’s going on?”, she asked. He ignored her as they walked over to JJ, already standing up, holding some files she was going through.

She looked up and smiled at the site of them _together_ before looking back down at the files in her hand. “Oh hey, so Will is coming into town this weekend and-“, she started but got cut off by Hotch. 

“JJ.”, he said in a serious tone with a slight tell of worry on his face but mainly serious. 

She looked up at him and her smile faded. “It’s Penelope.”, he said. She stared at him waiting for him to say more, as did Emily. “She’s been shot.”

  
  



	51. “I Just Need You to Come Get Me...”

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 51**

  
  
  


**trigger warning: non consensual touching. nothing violent or too major. nothing detailed. very brief.**

  
  
  
  


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“What...”, JJ said.

Emily looked from Hotch to JJ and back to Hotch. “Aaron.”, Emily said.

He kept eye contact with JJ and said, “The hospital just called me. I told them we’re on our way.”

JJ paused for a minute before tossing the files on the desk next to her and ran to her office to grab her bag.

Before he could say anything else to Emily, she was running up to JJ in her office. She was walking out, fumbling with her keys and dropped them as she approached Hotch. He bent down to pick them up for her and handed them back. 

“What hospital is she at? Is she in surgery? God, what happened?”, JJ asked, starting to tear up. 

“You’re not driving like that. Get in the car with me and Emily.”, he said.

Emily put her arm around JJ as they walked to the elevator and went down to the parking lot. Emily got in the backseat with JJ as Hotch started driving to the hospital. They were silent the whole way there while Emily kept comforting JJ and Hotch kept looking in the rear view mirror to make sure they were okay. 

Once they arrived at the hospital JJ unbuckled her seatbelt, got out of the car, and ran for the doors of the hospital faster than Emily could even close the car door.

She walked over to Hotch as he pulled her into his arms and she buried her face in his chest. He rubbed her back up and down and stroked the back of her head, placing a kiss on top. She had her arms wrapped tightly around his torso and shed a few tears. When she pulled her head back and looked up at him, she saw a single tear coming from his eye. 

“Sweetie, are you crying?”, she asked, wiping it away.

“I’m not  _ emotionless _ .”, he said in a steady voice.

“I know that.”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Come on, they need us.”, he said, pulling his arm out and starting to walk forwards.

Once they approached the doors, he let go of her and she crossed her arms, walking into the waiting area where JJ was sitting down already. Nobody else had arrived yet and Emily sat next to JJ and grabbed her hand, while Hotch sat down on Emily’s other side.

After a minute, Hotch got up and walked over to JJ and put his hand on her back. She looked up, surprised and he said, “I’m going to grab some coffee; do you want any?” 

“Yeah... that’d be great. Thank you.”, JJ said with a sniffle.

“Em?”, he asked.

“I’ll grab one myself after. That’s too much to carry.”, she said.

He nodded and rubbed JJ’s back lightly and walked off.

“Did he really just do that?”, JJ partially laughed, making Emily let out a half breathy laugh. 

“I told you, he’s actually a big softie.”, Emily said. 

JJ nodded her head while she was leaned over and held back some more tears. “It’s gonna be okay.”, Emily said.

“What if she doesn’t make it?”, JJ said.

Before Emily could answer, Hotch was back with their coffees and handed one to each of them. 

“No, this one was yours.”, Emily said, trying to hand it back to him.

“I’ll go grab my own.”, he said, walking away. 

She saw him running his fingers through his hair and she knew something was wrong. She set her coffee down on the small table next to her and released JJ’s hand and patted her leg, standing up.

“I’ll be right back.”, she said.

She walked up to Hotch, who was halfway down the hall. “Aaron.”, she stopped him and grabbed his arm. “What’s going on? What aren’t you saying?”, she asked. 

He looked around and back at her and sighed. “I just spoke to one of the paramedics that brought her in and... it doesn’t look good.”, he said. 

Once he saw the sadness come over her, he pulled her into his arms again. “Should we tell JJ?”, she asked. 

“No, we shouldn’t say anything to anyone. We don’t know anything for sure yet.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she sighed and pulled back from him. “Go get your coffee, everyone should be here any minute.”

He gave her a kiss on her forehead and walked away. She stood there a moment and looked back in JJ’s direction, preparing herself for her having to lie to her best friend when she walked back over. She sat down next to her and right after, Spencer and Rossi came rushing over to them. JJ stood up and Spencer gave her a hug, while Rossi walked over next to Emily and gave her a look. A look asking how bad it was and she gave him one right back and shook her head. 

Hotch walked right back over and past Emily to stand next to Rossi. “Where’s Morgan?”, Hotch asked.

“He didn’t answer you?”, Emily asked. 

“No.”, Hotch sighed, frustrated and walked away to call him again. He came back and looked at them. “Still no answer.”, he said.

“Where the hell  _ is _ he?”, Emily said.

After waiting for over an hour, Derek finally came running in and looked over at them. 

“What happened?!”, he asked, frantic.

“Where the hell were you?”, Emily asked.

“Emily.”, Hotch said, giving her a stern look with arms crossed and turning to Derek. “They don’t know much, we haven’t gotten any details on exactly what happened but she’s in surgery.”

Derek walked down the hall and hit the wall. Hotch flashed Emily another look and she went to follow him and put her hand on his shoulder once she approached him.

“Derek, we need to stay calm.”, she said.

“Don’t tell me what to be.”, he snapped. Right after he said that, he looked at her and apologized. “Emily... I’m- I’m really sorry.”, he said.

“I know. It’s okay... it’s okay.”, she told him, reaching out and giving him a hug. He didn’t reciprocate it at first but when she rubbed his back, he put his arms around her. She felt him grip her shoulder tighter and heard him start to cry. He tried to be quiet and rested his head on her shoulder. She continued to rub his back and said, “It’s okay. She’s gonna be okay.”, knowing full well that could be a lie.

After a couple minutes they saw the doctor walk over to the others in the waiting room and went over. They got to them while the doctor was already talking.

“... into her abdomen. It was touch and go for a while and she lost a lot of blood but she’s going to be fine. You can see her in the morning.”, the doctor said, nodding and walking off.

“We have to wait till tomorrow? Seriously?”, Derek said. 

“It’s alright. We’ll  _ come back _ tomorrow.”, Emily said, rubbing his arm. He nodded his head and started walking out. She followed him outside and stopped him. “You can’t drive like this, Derek... You shouldn’t be alone tonight. Come back to my place and spend the night. You can take the bed if you want and I’ll take the couch.”, she said.

“Yeah... yeah, okay...”, he said, starting to walk with her to his car. 

“We’ll head to the hospital first thing in the morning.”, she said. He nodded silently as she got in the driver’s seat of his car. They drove to her apartment and the whole time, she was thinking of Hotch. How she felt bad she hadn’t let him know she was leaving. She felt bad she didn’t tell him she was leaving with  _ Derek _ and that he was going to spend the night at her place. 

When they arrived at her apartment building, she put her arm around Derek and walked up inside. She opened the door and they took off their shoes. She went upstairs with him and grabbed a pair of jogger sweats that went down to just above her ankles, ankle high socks, and a regular short sleeve shirt for herself. 

“I’m just gonna change and brush my teeth real quick. I’ll be right out.”, she told him, walking in the bathroom in her room. 

When she came out, he was already changed out of his clothes, in only his boxers. He was getting in the bed and she stopped for a second, shocked he was so carefree about it. He pulled the covers up and looked over at her.

“Are you sure you want to sleep on the couch? I really don’t care if we both sleep in the bed or if you want, I’ll take the couch.”, he said.

“No. Really. You need it. The sheets are clean anyways, I don’t mind at all.”, she told him.

“Thanks.”, he sighed as he laid down.

She put her clothes in the dirty hamper and grabbed a pillow, stopping when she reached the doorway. “Let me know if you need anything. Don’t worry about waking me. I’m just right downstairs.”, she said, giving him a soft smile.

“Alright. And... thank you... for being there for me...”, he said quietly. She nodded and gave him a soft smile as she walked out, closing the door, and heading downstairs.

She walked over to the couch and threw some blankets over it and the pillow she’d grabbed from upstairs. 

She picked up her phone and saw a missed call and voicemail from Hotch, along with a text asking where she was. She sat down and didn’t even bother listening to the voicemail and decided to call him instead. After only 2 rings, he picked up.

“ _ Emily _ . Where the hell did you go? You just disappeared... Are you okay?”, Hotch asked, almost panicked.

“Sweetie, I’m fine. I’m at my place.”, she said.

“Wha- why? How’d you get there?”, he asked.

“I took Derek’s car. He’s staying the night...”, she said quieter.

Following her tone and volume, he said, “ _ What? _ Derek’s  _ staying the night? _ ”, he asked, obviously upset by what she’d told him.

“Yeah... but I had him take my bed and I’m staying on the couch downstairs. I’m just doing this as a friend for him. He wasn’t okay to drive and he couldn’t be alone tonight. Please don’t be mad...”, she said.

He sighed and took a deep breath.

“I’m not mad at you, Em... I just... I’d be lying if I said it  _ didn’t _ make me a little uncomfortable knowing your ex-boyfriend is staying the night at your place... I just wish you would’ve let me know. Or at least sent me a text saying you were alright. You just...  _ disappeared _ .”, he repeated.

“I know... I’m really sorry, honey. I would’ve called you but... he was with me. I should’ve texted you. I’m sorry...”, she said.

“It’s okay. I’m  _ not mad _ . I was just  _ worried _ ... Are you okay? With everything going on today?”, he asked.

“Yeah...”, she sighed. “I’m alright. I’ll be alright. How are  _ you _ after all of that?”, she asked.

“A little overwhelmed, I mean... we’re not touching any new cases until we find who did this. I made that very clear to everyone. I just have to do a lot tomorrow and...”, he sighed. “A back rub would’ve been really nice right now.”, he pouted. 

“Poor baby.”, she laughed quietly. “I’ll give you one tomorrow night, I promise.”, she said.

“Sounds good.”, he laughed. “Um... is Derek... fully clothed?”, he asked.

“He has on his  _ boxers _ ...”, she said almost as a question, hoping he wouldn’t freak out.

“ _What?_ _Just_ his boxers?”, he said.

“Aaron, he’s upstairs in the bed.  _ I’m _ downstairs on the couch.  _ Nothing _ is going to happen. I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable... I just wanted to be a good friend... He needed someone.”, she told him.

“I know... I just  _ wish _ he  _ didn’t _ happen to be  _ your ex-boyfriend _ . I’m sorry. I’m not saying I think you’re going to do anything. I trust you. I know you wouldn’t want to anyways... What was that you were saying before... no one compares to me?”, he chuckled.

“That is  _ very _ true.”, she laughed.

“Good. Alright, I love you, hun.  _ Please _ get some rest. I have to be at the BAU in the morning but I’ll try to come by the hospital first or at least check in with you guys.”, he said.

“Okay, I love you too. And  _ please _ get some rest as well and  _ don’t _ forget to eat breakfast! You’re not good about that when I’m not with you.”, she said. 

“Hey! I can take care of myself without you.”, he said.

“Okay,  _ sure _ you can.”, she giggled. “Go to bed, I love you.”

“I love you too. Sleep well, hun.”

“Bye.”, she said in a cute voice and hung up. 

She set her phone down on the coffee table and pulled the blankets over her as she laid down. She fell asleep easily, only to be woken up by the sound of Derek coming downstairs not long after. Emily was a light sleeper so she woke up pretty easy. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She left the refrigerator light on in case either of them needed to see if they got up in the middle of the night. 

She looked over at him as he went for the fridge to fill up his glass of water. He almost dropped it when Emily startled him by speaking.

“Derek?”, she asked.

“Oh my god! Emily, you scared the shit out of me.”, he said.

“What are you doing up?”, she asked with a groggy voice.

“I just woke up, needed some water. I’m sorry, did I wake you?”, he asked.

“I’m a light sleeper, it’s fine. You alright?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... I’m just worried... I’m really worried, Emily.”, he said, walking over to her on the couch. 

It was pretty dark so he had to pat the couch to tell where to sit. She wasn’t expecting him to come over to her or sit so close. She got a little nervous but knew they were just friends and tried to not to think too much of it. 

“You heard the doctor. She’s _ gonna be okay _ .”, she said, touching his bare shoulder, forgetting he had no shirt on and immediately bringing her hand back down to her lap. She could see that he turned to face her and felt his leg touching hers. 

“I feel so guilty...”, he said, dropping his head and running his hands over it.

“Derek... it’s not your fault.”, she said.

“I was at church. The  _ one _ time I finally go back after  _ years _ ... I wasn’t there for her.”, he said.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done at the hospital anyways. She was in surgery. There was nothing you could’ve been helping with. Don’t feel bad.”, she said.

He brought his head back up and looked at her but was still leaning over, resting his arms on his knees. Even though it was dark, she could still see him moving his head and his face into hers. He put his hand on her face and brought his lips to hers. 

She was completely caught off guard but knew she  _ didn’t want to kiss him.  _ She didn’t get lost in it, she had no feelings for him, she  _ didn’t want to kiss him _ . She was in love with  _ Hotch _ . 

Right as his lips touched hers, she immediately tried to pull back and took her lips off his. “Derek, n-“, she tried to say but he kept his hand on her face and before she could pull her  _ head _ back, he kissed her again and she tried to pull back again. He kept moving in and kept bringing his lips onto hers as she  _ kept _ scooting back until she was leaning back, laying down. In between each one, she tried to gently tell him to stop but he either didn’t hear her or it didn’t register in his mind. She turned her face away from his but he still didn’t stop. He put his other hand on her side and started to turn his body to move on to her. He brought a hand to her jogger sweatpants and tried to pull them down. He wasn’t being rough so she tried to handle things easily at first. But it was escalating too much and was all happening so fast. She decided not to ask him  _ gently _ anymore and pushed him back hard as he got on top of her.

“ _ Derek! _ Stop!”, she said, pushing him back and standing up, breathing hard. She felt tears starting in her eyes. 

He sat back up and looked at her and realized what he’d just done. “Emily... I’m so-“, he started to stand up and go to her. 

She crossed her arms and stepped back. “I think you should leave.”, she said, looking down. 

“ _ Emily _ ... I didn’t hear y-“, he started again before she cut him off. 

“Please, just leave.”, she said. 

“I swear, I didn’t hear you, I never would ha-“, before he could finish, she was walking away from him, going upstairs. 

She came back out with his clothes and shoved them at him. He dropped his shirt and when he bent down to pick it up, she grabbed her phone from the table and held onto it tight. He turned back to her and tried to speak but she beat him to it again. “Get out.”, she said quietly. 

“ _ Emily _ , please I-“, he started but she kept cutting him off every time he tried.

“Derek. Get. Out. Put your clothes on and  _ get out _ .”, she almost yelled, feeling tears stinging in her eyes.

She walked to the stairs and went up to her room, locking it behind her. She walked into her bathroom and locked that door too. She sat down on the floor and tried not to cry but a few tears came out. She brought her phone up and called Hotch. He picked up after 3 rings.

“Em? What’s going on?”, he asked in a groggy voice.

“Can you come pick me up?”, she said, sniffling and her voice breaking.

“Emily, what happened.”, he said, all of a sudden wide awake and completely alert. He sat up in bed right away and got out, walking over to his drawers to grab clothes.

She started letting some more tears out and her voice became even more shaky. “Can you just come get me?  _ Please _ .”, she said.

“I’m getting dressed now. Emily, are you okay? What happened?”, she heard him ask and drawers opening. All of a sudden, she heard the sound of him unlocking his safe for his gun. He was rushing to get out of the house as fast as possible.

“I just need you to come get me...”, her voice quivering. 

“I know hun, I’m walking out the door now. Are you hurt?”, he asked, getting in his car and pulling out of the garage.

“No. He trie- no. Just...”, she said.

“Emily, what the hell happened?”, he said through his teeth, speeding through traffic, not even caring. He just needed to get to Emily, he kept telling himself.

“Just stay on the phone with me till you get here?”, she asked, voice cracking at the end.

“I’m getting there as fast as possible. I’m not hanging up.”, he said. 

After 10 minutes of going 20 miles over the speed limit, he pulled into the parking lot at her building, leaving tire marks. He ran inside and upstairs to her place as fast as he could. He had his gun on his holster on his hip and kept one hand ready on it.

Still on the phone with her, he said, “I’m here. Are you okay to come open the door?”, he asked.

“Yeah, hold on.”, she said, still not hanging up. 

She shot up from the floor and walked out of the bathroom and bedroom, rushing downstairs. She ran to the front door and opened it for him. She hung up and put her phone in her pocket as he did the same. He almost went straight for her but needed to make sure it was safe inside first.

“Are you alone?”, he asked with his hand still placed on his gun. 

“Yeah, Derek’s gone.”, she said.

He immediately took his hand off of his gun and grabbed her, walking inside, and closing the door. She wrapped her arms around him tight and buried her face into his chest, finally starting to let it all out. His shirt became damp from her tears in that area after a minute but he didn’t care. He held her close with one hand on her back and one hand stroking her hair. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head every few seconds. Rubbing her back finally calmed her down and she stopped crying. 

“Em, what happened?”, he whispered in her ear, still rubbing her back. “Where’s Derek?”

“He left.”, she sniffled.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because I told him to.”, she said.

“ _ Why? _ ”, he asked again. After she was silent for a moment he pulled back and looked at her. He wiped the tears off her face and kissed her forehead. He led her over to the couch and she stopped, walking over a few feet to sit on the ground on the rug. After what had happened on the couch shortly before, she’d rather not be on it at that moment. As confused as he was, he followed her and sat down behind her, opening his legs and letting her fall back onto his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He rested his head over her shoulder and kissed her neck once. 

“Honey, I need you to talk to me... _ what happened? _ ”, he asked in a soft tone, rubbing her arm.

She’d stopped crying but kept sniffling and took a deep breath. “I was sleeping on the couch and I woke up after a few hours probably. Derek was getting some water and it was dark because the only light on was the refrigerator light. He came over and sat down because he was upset and we talked for a minute and then he kissed me and-“, before she could finish, he cut her off.

“ _ What?! _ He  _ kissed you?! _ ”, he said.

“Aaron, please just let me finish before you say anything.”, she rubbed his arm.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just-“, he sighed.

“I know. Anyways, he kissed me and I  _ immediately _ pulled back or at least tried to but like only my lips were pulled off and I tried to pull my head back but his hand was on my face so he pulled me in more. And he put his hand on my face right as he went in, it wasn’t there before. I would never let him even do  _ that _ .”, she clarified.

“Okay...”, he said, worried about what was coming next.

“After the first one, I started to tell him  _ no _ but I don’t think he heard me and he pulled me in more again and kept kissing me. I was trying to pull back  _ gently _ at first but then I was scooting back and then I was  _ on _ my back and he was on top of me and I couldn’t get his lips off of me. I tried to speak more but his lips were on mine and... I just couldn’t very well but I tried to push him off. And then...”, she sniffled and took a second as he stroked her hair, trying to hold back so much he wanted to say. He felt it building up and let out a couple tears instead as she took a deep breath. “And then he brought his hand to my pants and tried to pull them down...”, her voice cracked. Hotch gripped his own arm, still trying to hold so much back. “It was all happening so fast and I just- I really thought he was going to- he- he didn’t. I finally pushed him hard and yelled at him. I got out from underneath him and stood up... He felt really bad... and said he didn’t hear me. He tried to apologize and walk over to me but I backed away and told him to leave. When he didn’t move, I went upstairs and grabbed his clothes and gave them to him. I yelled at him again to get out, grabbed my phone, and went upstairs, locking the doors, and called you in the bathroom.”, she finished.

By the time she was done saying everything, Hotch felt more tears fall down his face. He wanted to scream and throw something and cry and have a breakdown just like she told him the other night that he could. But he knew he had to be there for  _ her _ so he held it in and released it in the form of tears which was fitting too because it broke his heart to hear all of that. 

“Aaron? Can you say something?”, she asked. When he was silent, she turned around and he closed his eyes. She saw the tears on his face and wiped them off. She wrapped her arm around his knee and put her other hand on the back of his neck. He opened his eyes and looked right at her. “Honey...”, she said.

“I’m going to kill him.”, he said without any hesitation whatsoever.

  
  
  
  
  



	52. Penelope

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 52**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“No. Aaron. You can’t. You can not get involved.”, she said.

He brought his hand to her face and stroked it with his thumb gently, looking her straight in the eyes. “Emily, he tried to-“, he started before she cut him off.

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t know. He couldn’t hear me and I didn’t push him hard enough.”, she said.

“No. Emily, don’t make _any_ excuses for him. Whether or not he thought you were into it, it was _wrong_ . You made things clear before that you were just friends when you officially broke up. This is not me being jealous, even though I’m not okay with someone else touching you either. But this is me angry that he did this to you at all. How did he _not_ notice that you didn’t kiss him back or that you weren’t reciprocating anything he was doing. How did he _not_ notice that?”, Hotch said.

“I don’t know! I’m not trying to make excuses for him _at all._ I’m just stating the facts. I was in a relationship with him and he’s been my partner at work for a while. I _know_ him really well. I know him deep down and I honestly don’t think he was trying to hurt me.”, she said. 

“Well! He _did!_ ”, he said.

“ _No_ , he _didn’t hurt me_ . Yeah, I was kind of scared...”, she said, looking down. “But he didn’t _hurt_ me.”, she said. 

Hotch had let out a few more tears silently and managed to get out a few words. “Sweetheart... I’m not going to just ignore this. I love you so much and... he violated you and your space. That’s not okay, no matter what.”, he said.

He dropped his hand from her face and brought it to his own to wipe away his tears. She got on her knees and faced him, scooted up to his chest. She brought both of her hands to his face and pressed her forehead to his, downwards a bit. He carefully and slowly placed his hands on her back, holding her up and close to him.

“I love you. I just can’t have you getting involved.”, she said.

“Em...”, he said, lightly rubbing her back up and down. “How do I _not_ do something about this?”, he asked.

“Just let me handle it, okay?”, she said.

He brought his head up and looked at her. She ran a hand over his face and placed it on the back of his head.

“Em, I don’t want you talking to him alone. I don’t want you being alone with him. It makes me nervous just thinking about it.”, he said.

She looked at him for a minute and slowly brought her lips to his for a soft and tender kiss. “You treat me so well, sweetie. I don’t know if I thank you enough.”, she said, giving him another soft kiss. 

“ _Emily_. What do you expect me to do? I don’t want you working with him. He’s your partner... You’re going to have to be around him constantly and ride in the SUV alone with him at times. I’m not okay with that.”, he said.

“I’ll _talk to him_.”, she said.

“ _Honey_ , he had you _crying_. I don’t think you can just talk to him. What if you told me as your Unit Chief?”, he suggested.

“ _No_. That would still seem weird and kind of suspicious. I can handle this.”, she said. 

Hotch could tell there was no winning with her on this. She was always _very_ stubborn but this was one thing that he _knew_ he couldn’t just let go. He had an idea that he knew she wouldn’t like if she found out but he felt he didn’t have many options. 

“Okay... okay. But I want to be nearby and be able to have an eye on you or be able to hear you. I’m sorry but I can’t let you do this without me being able to hear you or see you. I’m supposed to protect you... and tonight I couldn’t. I’m not letting that happen again.”, he said. 

“Okay.”, she whispered, finally agreeing to something he said. 

He took a deep breath and held her hands, helping her up with him. He walked her to the door with his arm around her to put her shoes on and grab her keys. They drove to his place, staying silent almost the whole way there. 

Once they got there, they went straight to bed. He changed out of his clothes and decided to put on pajama pants and a shirt to make her feel more comfortable with him just in case. He got in, under the covers, almost on the edge of the bed. She scooted in to the middle of it and reached for him, pulling him close. 

“Aaron, I don’t want space from you. I appreciate it but if anything I want to be close to you right now. It’s comforting for me.”, she said, curling up into his side. 

She put her arm over his stomach and nuzzled her head on his chest. He kept his hand by his side and the other above her head. He was too scared to touch her, not knowing how she was feeling about everything and trying to respect her boundaries. 

“ _Aaron_ . Don’t be afraid to touch me. I’m okay. I’m not traumatized. Just... hold me. Please. You make me feel safe. You don’t need to change anything that you normally do, okay? You can touch me. I will not freak out. Thank you for trying to respect my boundaries but I’m telling you, _nothing has changed_ for my comfort level with you at all.”, she told him.

With that, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight as she did the same back. He kissed her head and rested his on it. 

“I’m sorry, hun. I just didn’t want to overwhelm you or make you feel uncomfortable.”, he said.

“Well, you’re not. Not at all. Please don’t treat me like a victim. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be extra cautious around me. You’re my boyfriend and I’m telling you I don’t need you to change anything you do. Okay? I would let you know.”, she said.

“Okay... I’m sorry.”, he said.

“It’s okay. Thank you for getting me...”, she said.

“I would do anything for you. I just wish you were never in that position and I could’ve kept you more safe.”, he said.

“I know you do. But it’s not your fault at all and I’m okay. I was able to stop it before something happened.”, she said.

“Something _did_ happen. Don’t minimize it. You have every right to feel however you do.”, he said.

“I know...”, she said.

“Hey, look at me.”, he said, lifting her chin. “You’re so strong. Don’t let what happened take that away from you.” She nodded and he lifted her chin a bit more and brought his head down to give her a kiss. “I love you so much. And I’ll always be there for you. I’m glad you called me.”, he said.

She reached for one more kiss and laid her head back down on his chest. “I love you too... so much. Thank you.”, she kissed his chest and closed her eyes.

“Goodnight, hun.”, he said, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

  
  


The next morning, Emily woke up to the smell of food cooking downstairs. She looked next to her only to find that she was alone in bed. She got up and as she was going down the stairs she smelled bacon and got excited. 

“Aaron, are you cook-“, she called out before he cut her off.

“No, no! Don’t come down. Go back in bed!”, he shouted from the kitchen.

“What, _why?_ ”, she asked, stopping suddenly.

“Just get back in bed. I’ll be right up!”, he said.

“Alright...?”, she muttered to herself.

She got back in bed and Hotch came up a couple minutes later holding a tray with two plates and 2 coffee mugs on it. He walked up to the bed and set it on her lap, taking the coffees and putting them on the night table next to them.

“What _is_ all of this?”, she looked astonished.

“Well, I was _going_ to surprise you with breakfast in bed but... somebody had to ruin part of it.”, he laughed, giving her a kiss on the nose. He walked around to his side of the bed and they both scooted into the middle of it, setting the tray across both their laps.

“This is _amazing_.”, she said, looking at all of it before taking a bite of the waffles he made while he took a bite of some bacon.

“I wanted to do something a little more than just waffles and bacon but that would require more planning and more ingredients so... another time.”, he said.

“I love _this_ just enough as it is.”, she smiled and took his hand. “Wait, what time is it?”, she asked.

“It’s only 7:30.”, he said.

“You have to be at work! And I-“, she started.

“No, I called Strauss and told her I wanted to visit Penelope and talk to her about what happened anyways. She told me to be at work by noon if that works for me. We have time.”, he smiled and kissed her on the cheek. 

“So we’ll go there after this?”, she asked.

“Yes but you need to finish this plate, have an actual breakfast. And look! I made one for myself too.”, he said, very proud of himself.

“I’m impressed. Look who’s taking care of himself.”, she laughed.

“You’re just a good influence on me.”, he said.

“Whatever gets you to do it, works for me.”, she said.

They finished up their food and had some coffee. She rested back against the headboard, stuffed from breakfast. 

“Oh my god, I’m so full.”, she said.

“Good. You needed that.”, he told her.

“So did you.”, she pointed out.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just going to set this down in the kitchen.”, he said, walking downstairs with the tray. When he came back up, he crawled on the bed and flopped down on his back.

“You know... it’s not good for you and it’s harder to digest your food if you’re not sitting up right.”, she said. 

“Eating a lot makes me sleepy.”, he said, closing his eyes and patting his stomach.

“Get up you big lug.”, she laughed, crawling over to him and trying to pull him up. 

“Good luck with that. I’m a lot heavier than I look.”, he chuckled.

“It’s all muscle, not fat.”, she giggled.

“I’ve got the abs to prove it.”, he said.

“Oh, I _know_.”, she said, watching him smile with his eyes closed. “But... I might need a refresher. I can’t seem to remember...”, she laughed.

He pulled his shirt up and said, “There ya go.”, putting his back down.

“Mmmmmm... I don’t think that was long enough. I think you might have to take your shirt _off_.”, she said.

“If that’s gonna happen, you need to do it for me because I am _way_ too lazy to do it myself right now. I’m not even kidding.”, he laughed.

“That shouldn’t be too hard.”, she said, climbing on top of him and surprising him to the point that he opened his eyes. 

“Oh, _hello_.”, he chuckled and placed his hands on her hips.

“ _Good morning_.”, she smiled, bringing her hands under his shirt and sliding them up, leaning over for a kiss.

“Mmm. Good morning, beautiful.”, he smiled against her lips.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Mmhmmmm.”, he smiled.

“Can you help me take your shirt off? It’s hard when you’re laying down like this.”, she whispered.

“Ughh... I don’t feel like moving.”, he said. 

“Aaron! Just sit up. You’re so lazy.”, she said.

“ _Fine_.”, he said, scooting up until he was upright and went for his shirt but she beat him to it.

She got up and sat behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hanging off his shoulders. She started kissing his neck and he gasped.

“Am I finally getting that back rub?”, he asked.

“I don’t break my promises.”, she said, bringing her head back and placing her hands on his shoulders.

She started massaging him and he let out a moan. “Ahhh that feels good. Oh, a little to the right. Yep, right there.”, he said.

“Wow, you got a lot of knots. Better make this a more regular thing. You really gotta loosen up, babe.”, she said, digging in deeper. 

He dropped his head forward and closed his eyes again. “Mmhmmmm.”, he said.

“Hey! You don’t get to fall asleep.”, she said.

“I know...”, he mumbled.

“I think you need something to wake you up just a little bit more...”, she said. 

She moved out from behind him and got on his lap, straddling him. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “I don’t know. I’m pretty sleepy still.”, he said.

“I guess I’ll just have to try something that’s been effective before in the past.”, she smiled, leaning in and bringing her lips to his. 

She started grinding on his lap and after a minute, started to feel him getting hard and kept going. “Wait, Em... I’m starting to-“, he began. 

“I _know_. That’s kind of the point of what I’m doing.”, she laughed.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yes. _Very_.”, she smirked, going in for another kiss.

“Really? You’re positive?”, he asked again.

“Aaron, are you going to take your clothes off or not?”, she asked.

“I just want to make sure you feel okay.”, he said.

“I feel fine. I’d feel better if you took your pants off.”, she said, pulling her shirt off and leaning into him again. 

He finally started to slide them off and she helped him the rest of the way as she pulled her own off. She felt completely safe and comfortable with him, she had no hesitation at all. She got back on his lap and started moving her hips against his hard member.

“Mmmm. Em.”, he said against her lips, putting his hands on her hips. She soon took him in her hand and moved him along her until she started to sink down on him. She threw her head back until he was all the way inside. 

“Ahhh. Aaron.”, she moaned, running her hands up and down his chest before latching onto his shoulders.

“ _Shit_. Em, you’re so fucking hot.”, he whispered, biting his lip and looking at her up and down, while holding onto her body.

“Mmmm.”, she moaned. She moved her face into his and opened her mouth immediately, allowing him to shove his tongue in her mouth. 

“I love you so much.”, he breathed.

“I love you more.”, she said, starting to move up and back down.

“Not possible, babe.”, he told her, grabbing her face and crashing his lips onto hers. 

She began moving and after a while he started thrusting his hips up. They had just talked about her hardly ever being on top so she figured this was the perfect moment. 

“You’re so perfect, hun. God, keep going. I’m so close.”, he said.

“Aaron, fuck...”, she exhaled.

He brought his hand down to where they met and started moving his thumb around her. She whimpered and gripped his shoulders tighter. She bit her lip and shut her eyes, feeling her climax approaching.

“Yes... just like that. Just right- ohhh.”, she whined.

“Come on, Em. Ahh I’m right there. Please babe.”, he panted.

“Ah Aaron, I’m gonna come. Oh god.”, her mouth dropped open and she cried out for him, her walls gripping him as she came. “Yesssss, ohhh fuck. I- oh my goddddd, please come for me. Oh, Aaron, yesss.”, she almost screamed, riding him fast until he finally did what she’d asked.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Em. Ah fuck. Ahhhh oh my god. Ahhh I love you so much.”, he hissed, placing his hands on her back, as she fell forward onto him. 

Her body pressed against his and her arms wrapped around his neck, running her hand in his hair and grabbing on. While trying to catch her breath, she kissed and sucked on his neck softly. He held her firm against him with one hand on her lower back and the other on her upper.

“You were right. Much better than a back rub. Really did wake me up.”, he chuckled, her letting out a small one. When she didn’t speak at first, he got worried. He knew he was probably just being paranoid but always wanted to stay on the safe side of things. “Em, are you alright? Are you feeling okay? Was that alright? It wasn’t too much?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I’m just trying to catch my breath.”, she laughed. “I’m perfectly fine. I’m more than fine after that.”, she said, kissing his neck again. “Thank you for checking though but it’s all good.”, she told him, pulling her head back to look at him. She brought her hands to his face and held on tight, bringing his lips to hers. “I love you. That was great.”, she smiled and gave him one more kiss before sitting up and getting off of him.

“Where are you going? Did you want some more breakfast?”, he asked as she got off the bed. 

“I was just going to take a shower. Do you wanna join me?”, she asked.

“Definitely.”, he said, throwing the sheets off of him and following her into the bathroom.

Once they got out, she threw on a pair of black pants with her boots and a dark yet subtle red button up. She took her gun out of his safe since they both kept theirs in it together.

“So... you came over with your gun last night.”, she said.

“Yeah. And?”, he said.

“Well... _why?_ ”, she asked.

“Emily, you were crying and asked me to come over, wouldn’t tell me what happened and when I asked you if you were hurt, you said _no_ , then started to say something and stuttered and then said _no_ again. I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to tell you this but I’ve been a profiler for a long time. I knew something _physical_ happened to you. So, _hell yeah_ , I brought my gun. I wasn’t about to take any chances.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment while she put her gun in the holster on her hip. She stood still for a minute and walked over to him. 

“I know I’ve said it a lot but... _thank you._ ”, she said, reaching up to give him a hug. “You’re probably one of the best things to ever happen to me.”, she whispered.

He wrapped his arms tight around her and squeezed her before letting go. He tucked her partially straightened, partially curled around the bottom, hair behind her ear. “Come on, let’s go see Penelope. JJ texted me a few minutes ago saying she’s awake now.”

“Why didn’t she text _me?_ ”, Emily asked, pulling out her phone. “Oh. Just kidding. She actually did.”, she said, giggling, looking at the message. 

“What? What’d she say?”, he asked, smiling and walking over to look at it with her.

“She just said, “ _I know you and Hotch are probably busy ;) but Penelope’s awake now. I’m at the hospital about to go in and see her. Text me when you get this_.”... Should I ask her who else is there?”

“No. You don’t want to make it seem suspicious or weird. Were you planning on telling JJ what happened?”, he asked. 

“I don’t know. _Maybe_. I’m not sure yet...”, she said.

Hotch just nodded his head and went to the safe to grab his own gun, putting it on his holster. He locked it and walked over to Emily and gave her a kiss on the cheek before they walked out of the house and drove to the hospital. 

They got to the hospital and parked. When they got out, she started walking but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him while he wrapped his arms around her, interlocking his fingers on her back. 

“Derek is probably here. What are you going to do when you see him?”, he asked, almost taking her step by step.

She looked down and shook her head. “I don’t know.”, she said.

“What can _I_ do? What do you need?”, he asked her.

“I don’t know.”, she brought her head back up.

“Do you think he’ll try and talk to you?”, he asked.

“I really don’t know.”, she said.

“Okay, I want you to make a deal with me. If he tries to talk to you and you feel okay with it, don’t go too far away. If it seems like he’s getting too close or you’re uncomfortable, I’ll walk over and say we’re needed back at the BAU and we’ll leave. Just give me a look and I’ll come over. If you don’t want to go talk to him, just tell him that and walk away and we can leave, okay?”, he asked.

“Alright.”, she nodded. 

He brought his lips down to hers and then a quick kiss on her nose. “Let’s go in.”, he said. 

Once they walked inside and over to Penelope’s room, Emily spotted JJ sitting in a chair by the foot of the bed and Derek by her bedside. Still being professional, she looked over at Hotch and he gave her a half nod before they entered. 

“Heyyy. How are you feeling?”, Emily asked Penelope, walking up to her bedside and taking her hand. 

“Like I just got shot.”, she laughed and stopped, wincing in pain. “Hotch, I don’t know how you managed after _you_ were shot. It actually hurts even with the pain meds. I can barely move.”, Penelope said.

“Oh, trust me, he complained quite a bit when I stayed with him after you guys flew back. I think there might’ve even been a couple tears at one point? Isn’t that right, Hotch?”, Emily laughed when she looked over at him from across the room. 

He crossed his arms and let a small smile pass. “Careful there, Prentiss.”, he chuckled quietly. 

After a while, Derek got up and squeezed Penelope’s hand. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m gonna go to the bathroom and grab some water, alright?”, he asked.

“Alright. Don’t be gone too long, I’ll miss your delicious face.”, she said.

“I’ll be back.”, he laughed. 

Reid and Rossi walked in and JJ stood up. “Since you got some backup here, I’m gonna go do the same but I’ll also be back.”, JJ said and Penelope nodded. 

Right as JJ and Derek walked out, Hotch followed. He caught up to JJ walking down the hall and stopped her.

“JJ.”, he said. She turned around to face him and he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He motioned his head to around the corner as they walked over. 

“What’s going on?”, she nervously laughed.

“I have to tell you something but you can’t let Emily know that I told you.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said.

“Last night...”, he looked around and saw Derek standing against the wall all the way down the hall, looking at the ground, obviously frustrated. He knew he needed to leave Penelope’s room for some space and not for the reason he told her.

“Hotch?”, JJ said, bringing his attention back to her.

“Last night, Emily called me from her place, in tears and had me come over...”, he started.

“What? Why? What happened?”, she asked.

“When Derek walked out of here last night, she offered to let him stay the night at her place. He stayed upstairs in her room and she slept on the couch downstairs. I guess in the middle of the night, he woke up and came over to the couch. They were talking, she said he was upset and then... he kissed her...”, right as he said that, JJ’s eyes widened. He sighed heavily and looked down for a moment and then back up. “... and she tried to pull away and told him to stop but he “ _didn’t hear her_ ” and... kept... going... He got on top of her and had on her _back_...”, he rolled his lips in and crossed his arms, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before he opened them again to see JJ’s hand over her mouth and tears forming in her eyes. “... and then he grabbed her pants and tried to... pull them down.”, he dropped his head.

“Hotch, did he-“, she started but he answered her question before she could finish asking it.

“No. No, he didn’t. But he came really close. She said she finally pushed him off really hard and yelled at him and got up. She kicked him out after he tried apologizing to her. He told her that he didn't _hear her!_ ”, Hotch whispered the last part. “But how did he _not?!_ Regardless, he shouldn’t have done it. She went upstairs and called me. She was trying not to cry too hard but once I got there... she didn’t hold back at all... JJ, _I_ cried, holding her in my arms, feeling her shake and telling me all of that. It _broke my heart._ So... I’m telling you this not so you can talk to her about it, but so you can keep an eye on her today especially when he’s around. Also, you’re her best friend and normally, I wouldn’t go off and tell you something she doesn’t want other people to know but this is about her safety and I can’t be there by her side all day. I’m asking you as a friend of hers... and... mine.”, he said in a shy way, bringing his shoulders up a bit. 

“Of course... what do- what do you want me to do?”, she asked. 

“Just... keep an eye on her. If Derek comes around, I told her she doesn’t have to talk to him. And if they do and she feels uncomfortable, she can give me a look and I’ll come over with an excuse and we’ll head to work. But I just want to make sure she’s okay and make sure she’s safe. Also, if she found out I told you...”, he shook his head. “Just make sure... she doesn’t know you know. I’m sure she’ll tell you on her own soon, but for now...”, he trailed off.

“Yeah, no, of course.”, she said and looked over and back at him, only to do a double take. “Hotch... Emily’s talking to him right _now_.”, she said.

“ _What?!_ ”, he whispered, turning his head around to look at Emily a couple feet in front of Derek who was still leaning back against the wall. Right as he looked at them, his phone rang. He sighed and looked at her. “I have to take this.”, he said.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”, she said.

He looked at Emily and Derek one more time and then walked down the hall from around the corner, away from them all and answered the phone.

JJ stayed in place and kept an eye on them, checking a few emails on her phone so it didn’t look like she was watching them. She noticed that Derek stayed back from Emily and she didn’t seem to be upset. They nodded their heads a couple times and she could tell by his body language that he kept apologizing over and over. After a few minutes, Hotch came back and looked at JJ. 

“Last time you had that look on your face was last night when you told me Penelope got shot...”, she said, nervous.

“Is she okay?”, he asked, looking over at Emily. 

“Yeah, he hasn’t even moved closer to her or anything.”, she said.

“Alright, thank you... We need to get back to the BAU.”, he said.

“Everyone?”, she asked.

“Just you, Emily, and I. That wasn’t my choice, it’s just what I was told. I need to talk to Penelope first.”, he said, starting to walk towards her room. JJ stayed put and kept an eye on Emily down the hall. 

Hotch walked into Penelope’s room and up to her. She immediately knew something was wrong. She was sitting up and more awake, seemingly in less pain because of more pain meds she received but still somewhat weak. 

“You seem to be feeling a bit better...”, he said.

“A little. More pain meds did the trick I guess... What’s going on?”, she asked. 

“We found an encrypted file on your computer. Is there something I should know about?”, he asked.

“No, I-“, she started.

“Could this have anything to do with who shot you?”, he asked.

“I don’t think so...”, she said.

“I need the password.”, he said.

“What’s going on?”, Rossi asked as Spencer sat there confused.

“Infernal Affairs has ordered us to stop working the case...”, he said and looked back at Penelope. “The password.”, he said again.

“Gilman Street.”, she said. 

“Thank you. And... until further notice... you’ve been suspended. I’m sorry.”, he said and walked out, leaving Rossi and Spencer in shock. 

As Hotch walked out of her room, he looked down the hall at JJ, letting her know they were ready to go. He went up to Emily and Derek and stopped a foot away from her. Keeping with his Unit Chief voice, he said, “We have to head to the BAU.”, looking right at her. 

“What- right now?”, she asked, giving him a look, letting him know she was fine and didn’t need him to make an excuse for her to walk away. 

“Yes. _Right_ now.”, he said with a stern tone, raising his eyebrows and fidgety.

She stared at him and he turned around once he heard JJ walking up to them. Hotch looked right back at her and said again in an authoritative tone, dead serious, “ _Now_ , Emily.”, practically ordering her, losing his patience. 

He started to walk away slowly and stopped with JJ, waiting for Emily, who let Derek know they would finish talking later. She followed JJ and Hotch outside to the parking lot walking to their cars. After letting them know she would meet them at the BAU, JJ walked to her car. Once Emily and Hotch approached his, she stopped on the drivers side before they got in. 

“I didn’t give you any look. I was actually talking to him and felt fine. I didn’t need you to pull me away!”, she said, frustrated. 

“ _Emily_ , that’s not why I pulled you away. They really do need us back at the BAU. So please... just... get in.”, he tried to keep his cool.

“Oh... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you, honey.”, she said, going in for a hug but he stepped back and looked down.

“Aaron... what is it?”, she said.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes closed tight. He looked back up at her and sighed again. 

“You’re going to be mad at me but it wasn’t my decision. I didn’t want to do it but I had to. And you can’t let it affect our work today with each other. I haven’t told JJ yet.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said, hesitant.

“ _Internal Affairs_ needs us back at work. They’re taking over the case and we have to go over some of the stuff with them, give them everything we have. _I_ specifically need to meet with them for something else while you and JJ gather everything for them and go through other files.”, he said.

“Are you serious?”, she said.

“Yes.”, he nodded.

“Why would I be mad at you? And wait... _why_ is IA taking over the case?”, she asked.

“Penelope... may have been involved with something that... could have been connected to... why she was shot.”, he said.

“No. That’s ridiculous.”, she shook her head.

“I had to suspend her.”, he said.

“You _what?!_ ”, she said, suddenly feeling her blood boil.

  
  



	53. Kiss and Make up

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 53**

  
  
  


***very brief light smut included in this chapter***

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Emily, come on. I told you that you can’t let this affect our work together today.”, Hotch said to Emily.

“Aaron, you suspended Penelope! I have a right to be a little mad!”, she said.

“You’re right! You do! But don’t be mad at _me!_ I didn’t make the decision. I just had to _tell_ her the news.”, he said, looking over at her.

“Keep your eyes on the road.”, she told him.

“I am. Listen, Em...”, he reached for her hand but she pulled away. “Honey, I hate that I had to do that. You know that, don’t you?”, he asked.

“You know what _I_ hate? I hate that I’m mad at you and I can’t tell if I’m mad at my boss or my boyfriend.”, she said.

“What do you want me to be right now?”, he asked.

“I don’t know.”, she said.

He sighed and instead of reaching for her hand, he rested his on the console with his palm up, as an invitation for hers. Without even looking, she reached her hand over and dropped it in his. He squeezed it tight and rubbed his thumb along it.

“Why is it so hard to stay mad at you?”, she said, still snarky.

He laughed, “Because you love me.”

“Whatever.”, she said.

“Aww come on, hun.”, he said.

“Okay, be my boyfriend right now.”, she said.

“I’m already holding your hand and just called you _hun_. I’m definitely not your boss right now.”, he chuckled. 

“Okay, good because I need someone to talk to right now.”, she said.

“What? What’s wrong? Is it what Derek said? Oh, what did Derek say?!”, he asked.

“We can talk about that tonight. I actually need to vent about something else.”, she said.

“Okay?”, he said.

“It’s my boss. He’s being such an ass right now. He just suspended Penelope right after she was _shot_ . And he can’t seem to give me any answers about what’s going on and I am _very_ frustrated with him. He’s just kind of a... jerk sometimes, especially right now.”, she said.

“Wow, you’re right, what an ass. You should tell him off. Just full on... let it all out. Yell at the bastard.”, he said, looking over at her. 

When she made eye contact with him, they both laughed. “You’re right. Thanks, babe.”, she said and let go of his hand. “Hotch, can I talk to you about something?”, she asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“ _Emily_...”, he warned her.

“You’re my boss now. So... _Hotch_... what’s going on right now? Why is IA taking over the case?”, she asked, suddenly becoming more serious.

He sighed and decided to play along, to just go with it. “Honestly, right now, I’m not completely sure. I know they found an encrypted file on her computer and it’s possible it could have something to do with why she was shot. IA doesn’t want us too close to it. That’s honestly all I know so far but hopefully we’ll find out more when we get there which is in just a couple minutes.”, he said.

“Wait... that’s all you know?”, she asked. 

“Yeah, why? Did I miss something?”, he asked.

“You must’ve just gotten out of there so fast, you didn’t stop to talk to her about what happened or who did it. She was just telling us.”, she said.

“What?! She knows who did it?”, he asked.

“Yeah, it was a date she had last night.”, she said.

“Can you text JJ and tell her to contact someone to get a sketch artist down to the hospital for her and we’ll have Rossi and the rest get official statements from her.”, he said.

“Yeah, sure.”, she said, pulling out her phone and sending JJ a text. 

“She should be getting into her office by now so hopefully she can make the call now.”, he said 

A few minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the BAU and went to his reserved spot. Before they got out, he stopped her.

“Emily, can I be your boyfriend for just a few seconds?”, he asked.

“Okay.”, she said right before she brought her hand to his face and kissed him. “Gladly.”, she said.

“I’m really sorry this is happening right now, I really am. I wish I could do something more as your boyfriend _and_ your boss but unfortunately my hands are tied with that last one. But as your boyfriend, what can I do for you?”, he asked.

“This is one thing I hate about our relationship...”, she said, looking down.

He lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. “ _Em_ , what can I do?”, he asked her again.

“I don’t know... just being here when you’re able to but I know you’re going to be busy throughout the day.”, she said.

“If you need me, I’m there. If I can’t be, I’ll make sure JJ is, okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah, alright, fine.”, she said.

“How are you feeling after talking to Derek?”, he asked.

“It was fine. I feel fine right now but we’re not done talking about it all. I’ll tell you more tonight.”, she said.

“Okay, you just let me or JJ know if you need anything throughout the day.”, he said.

“I will. I promise.”, she said.

He held her chin and brought his lips to hers. “I love you. Don’t stress too much when we’re in there and _please_ don’t yell at them. They’re not the nicest and I _know you_. You’ll want to yell at them.”, he laughed. 

“Aaron, please. I’m a professional.”, she said.

“Says the one sleeping with her boss.”, he laughed again. 

She smacked his arm and said, “Says the one sleeping with his _subordinate_.”, she giggled.

“Good point. Looks like we’re both a bit...”, he couldn’t find a word.

“Irresponsible?”, she said.

“You could say that. But I don’t care when it comes to you. You’re worth breaking the rules a little bit for.”, he smiled, giving her a kiss.

“Mmm okay, I can live with that. Just don’t get caught!”, she whispered in a cute charm against his lips.

“I’ll try my best.”, he smiled before giving her one last kiss. “Let’s go inside now.”, he said.

They both hopped out of the car and he held his hand out, when he got the door for her at the entrance of the building. “After you, Agent Prentiss.”, he said.

“Thank you, Agent Hotchner.”, she nodded, both of them trying not to laugh.

  
  


Later that night after JJ shot the man who shot _Penelope_ , Emily and Hotch went to check on JJ after everyone else had left. The bullpen was all cleared out and no longer considered a crime scene.

Emily let Hotch know she was going to the bathroom but would be right back. He still walked into her office and found her sitting at her desk with her hands on her face on her desk and a bottle of Tylenol next to her water bottle. 

“Hey. How are you feeling?”, he said.

“Pretty sucky.”, she said, sitting up.

“It’s always tough. No matter how many times it’s happened. But... the first time is always the hardest.”, he said.

“Yeah...”, she sighed.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”, he asked.

“I’d really rather not right now.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, sitting down in front of her desk. 

“I could use a _distraction...?_ ”, she said.

He nodded and looked up at her. “Emily said it went well with Derek. They aren’t done talking but it went well so far.”, he said.

“That’s good. What’d they say?”, she asked.

“She said we’ll talk about it tonight.”, he said.

“Alright, that’s _good_ . How are _you guys?_ ”, she asked.

“We actually had a little argument earlier on the car ride over here but we were good again before we got out of the car.”, he said.

“You guys went through a fight and fixed it all within one car ride? No way. What was it about?”, she kept asking.

“I suspended Penelope earlier and Emily got really mad at me for it... understandably. I tried explaining to her but she yelled at me a little.”, he said.

“How’d you fix it so fast?”, she asked.

“We literally kissed and made up.", he said, showing his dimples when he smiled and looked down, making her smile too.

“Hotch?”, she said.

“Yes.”, he said.

“You said I was a friend of yours earlier... You really consider me your friend?”, she asked.

“I’ve known you for a while and... you’re Emily’s best friend and you’ve been a friend to us both. So you’ve been a friend to me, especially today. I trusted you enough with that. I trust you with keeping me and Emily a secret. Part of the reason I didn’t want to tell anyone was because I didn’t want to have to ask anyone to lie for us. But you’ve been great with everything... I really appreciate it.”, he said.

She nodded and smiled. “I heard you asked her to move in.”, she said.

“Wow, there really is _nothing_ that she doesn’t tell you, huh?”, he asked.

“Yeah, some details I could live without...”, she laughed. “... but girls talk about that stuff and she has nobody else... I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable though, knowing... she’s told me so much.”, she said.

“Just how much _has_ she told you exactly? I found out some the other night...”, he asked.

“I don’t know if you want to know that...”, she said.

“Oh wow... got it.”, he said.

“I don’t think about any of it or see you any different. Don’t worry.”, she nervously laughed. 

“I’m sorry she told you all of that.”, he also nervously laughed.

“It’s fine. I’m just glad that... you consider us friends.”, she said.

He smiled back at her when Emily walked through the door. She walked up to him and leaned over from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting on his shoulders. She kissed his cheek and whispered in her cute voice he loved, “Hi.”, she smiled across his cheek. 

He tapped her arm and laughed, looking at JJ for a second before turning his head to the side. “Em, I’m sure JJ doesn’t need to see this.”, he said. 

“I don’t care. She’s just giving you a hug and a kiss. You guys are really cute together... _Em_.”, JJ teased them.

Hotch blushed and Emily kissed his cheek again. “Don’t be embarrassed, sweetie.”, she whispered in his ear.

“Hun, JJ and I were talking.”, he told Emily.

“No, I think we were done. Oh and guess what? Me and Hotch are friends.”, JJ said, raising her eyebrows. 

“ _Reaalllyyy?_ ”, Emily asked with a smile on her face. 

“Yeah. All because of you.”, he smiled.

“You both better watch it. I’m not letting you guys leave me out of anything.”, Emily laughed.

Hotch and JJ looked at each other and he said, “I don’t _know_... Maybe we should go grab a drink and you know, leave this one behind here...”, he said motioning his head to Emily. “She’s kind of bossy... no fun.”, he said. Emily smacked his shoulder and they all laughed. “I’m kidding, hun.”, he told her, grabbing her arm.

“I bring people together, don’t I?”, she squeezed him tighter. 

“Speaking of which... JJ, you said Will is in town this weekend?”, he asked.

“Yeah, are you guys free Friday night?”, she asked.

“Actually, we’re seeing my brother on Friday.”, he said.

“Sean?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, he’s coming to the city and we’re going to get something to eat, show him around, spend some time with each other. I haven’t seen him for a couple years. Well, not since that time _you_ saw him.”, he said.

“Ohhh, that’s right. I always remember the name but never the face. Now I remember though. The really cute one, right?”, she asked. 

He rolled his eyes and Emily kissed the side of his head and giggled. “It’s okay, honey. Remember... I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever known. I love you.”, she whispered in his ear, giving him a kiss right behind it and nuzzling her head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, he said.

“God, you guys are so cute together.”, JJ said, looking down after.

“What’s wrong?”, Emily’s smile faded and asked, standing up and moving her hands to Hotch’s shoulders.

“I just miss Will. I know I’m gonna see him in a few days but... it’s just hard with the long distance sometimes.”, JJ said, rolling her lips in.

“Have you told him that?”, Hotch asked.

“I think he knows, but there’s not much to do about it right now.”, she said.

“ _Try_ telling him... you might be surprised at what he has to say or... what he’s willing to do.”, Hotch said. 

“Really? Because I just feel like-“, she started.

“Emily and I agree on a lot of things. But there are a lot of compromises we have to make with each other. I know it’s not long distance for us but sometimes it’s really hard to navigate all of this. Separating our work life from our relationship... I honestly don’t know how we do it most of the time but it’s always about communication. When I asked her to move in with me and she said _yes_ ... I was honestly surprised. I wasn’t going to ask her until I knew we’d be able to right away if she _did_ say _yes_. But you actually gave her that push to talk to me about it and look how it turned out...”, he said, reaching his hand back to touch Emily’s for a second.

JJ nodded and looked down again before Emily chimed in. “What _do_ you want?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know... I want him to not live in another state.”, JJ said.

“You want him to move here.”, Emily said.

“I can’t ask that of him. That’s a huge thing...”, JJ said.

“It’s what you’re feeling... You should tell him. It’s a big thing to bring up, sure. But it’s also a big thing to hold back.”, Emily said.

“You’re right.”, JJ threw her hands up, almost as if giving up. “I’m gonna talk to him about it when he gets here.”, she said. 

“Heavy day.”, Hotch said. “What do you need?”, he asked.

“Probably just some rest. I’ve got a major headache and-“, JJ was interrupted by her phone ringing. She looked at it and laughed, “Speak of the devil...”, she held it up, showing Will’s name. They laughed and Hotch stood up before she answered the phone.

“Just call or text either of us if you need anything tonight. And... get some rest.”, he told her, putting his arm around Emily before they started walking out of her office.

“Thanks.”, she said, flashing them a smile and he gave her a half nod back. 

Once Hotch and Emily got in his car, he turned the car on and looked over at her smiling at him.

“What?”, he asked.

“You’ve got a new friend.”, she said.

“She’s _our_ friend and I’m _still_ her boss.”, he said.

“That was really sweet, the advice you gave her. I think it meant a lot for her to know that we’re there for her too.”, she said, running her hand over his hair.

“I’m a sweet guy.”, he said.

“ _I_ know that. But not _everybody_ does.”, she said.

“Alright, alright, let's get back to the house. Enough sentimental... whatever.”, he said, pulling out of the parking lot. 

When they got back to his house, they went upstairs and started getting changed. Emily walked over to him and grabbed the clean pair of boxers he pulled out from his drawer and put them back. She stepped in front of him and grabbed his belt. She pressed her body up against his and began to place kisses all along his bare chest and neck while undoing his buckle. He brought his hands around to the clasp of her bra and undid it, letting it fall to the ground when she took her hands off his belt. She undid his pants and let them drop too. He stepped out of them and kicked them off to the side. He brought his hand to her face and the other to her hip. He smiled wide and brought his lips to hers. 

She started backing him up to the bed and before his legs could hit the foot of it, he turned her around quick and threw both of them onto the bed. She squealed and giggled, bringing her hands to his face and continuing to kiss him. She reached for his boxers but he stopped her. 

“Why are you stopping?”, she asked, breathing heavy.

“I think we should take a shower. What do _you_ think?”, he asked with a smirk on his face.

She bit her lip and smiled, nodding her head. He stood up and dropped his boxers to the ground before going for her underwear and sliding it off. He leaned over her and kissed her one more time while she wrapped her legs around his waist and he picked her up, carrying her to the shower. 

He turned the water on and steadied her back against the wall with her legs still wrapped around him. He brought his face closer to hers with his lips right against hers and said, “This is the only reason I like to waste water.”, finally crashing his lips onto hers. He got in a good position and bucked his hips into her making her gasp.

After Emily finished rinsing off, she got out of the shower and dried off, while he finished rinsing off himself. She wrapped the towel around her and went to the closet to get changed when Hotch’s phone started to ring.

“Em! Can you see who’s calling?”, he said, hopefully loud enough for her to hear from the closet. She heard him saying something but didn’t know what. She finished putting on her shorts and tank top and walked to the entrance of the bathroom.

“What?”, she asked.

“Can you see who’s calling?”, he asked.

“Oh, yeah.”, she said, walking over to his phone but it stopped ringing. “Sorry, I guess we missed it. Oh, it looks like it was JJ.”, she said after she picked it up. 

“Oh. Shit. She must’ve been calling about what happened today like I told her she could. Um, can you just call her back? See if she’s doing alright?”, he asked, turning the water off. 

“Sure.”, she said. She was about to hit the call button when a text came in from her. Emily clicked on it and saw it. The text read: “ _Hey, did you guys get to talk about her conversation with Derek yet?_ ”

Emily was confused. She had no idea how JJ knew about what happened with Derek. And why she was texting Hotch about it. She could only assume that Hotch had told her. She felt hurt that he would betray her trust like that. But the main thing that took over everything in the moment... was anger.

Hotch walked out of the bathroom with just his towel wrapped around his waist. She looked over at him, still holding his phone, feeling the anger rising. “Did you try calling her again?”, he asked. 

“I didn’t need to. She sent a text letting you know what she was calling about.”, she said, obviously annoyed he could tell. 

“Okay? And what did she want?”, he asked, walking over to his phone in her hand. Right as she let him take it, she said, “Why the _hell_ does she want to know about my conversation with Derek. And _how_ does she even know that there was one?”, she asked, starting to raise her voice. 

He looked at the text and listened to what she said and started to panic. He brought his eyes up to hers and just stared at her for a moment before speaking. “Em, listen...”, he started.

“No! Don’t _Em_ me. What did you tell JJ?”, she started yelling and crossed her arms.

“I told her what happened... what Derek did to you... I was trying to-“, he started.

“ _Why would you do that?!_ I trusted you!”, she said.

“Emily... I was trying to protect you. I wanted to make sure you were safe when I couldn’t be there for you...”, he said, reaching for her arms but she stepped back. 

“You went behind my back and told someone a very _personal_ thing that happened about me and a co-worker... _to another co-worker!_ I don’t care if she’s my best friend! I didn’t tell her for a reason! You’re the only one who knew! You always say I never open up or let people in, that I have to trust more people... well here’s a reason why I don’t! I’ve never trusted anyone like I do with you. We put our lives in each other’s hands, literally! And I opened up to you... about _this_ ... about the _last serious relationship of mine_ that _obviously_ I still carry a lot of issues from... some of my childhood and just my life in general! You’re right, I’m _not_ an open person, I _don’t_ trust a lot of people, and for good reason! I’m not an easy person to get to know! But I let _you_ in easier than anyone... ever! I’ve opened up about some things to you that I’ve never told _anybody_ . But then you do _this?!_ ... I’m not just mad... You betrayed my trust... That actually _hurts_ ...”, she said, feeling tears forming in her eyes and her voice cracked at the end. Before she could show any other signs of what she considered _weakness_ , she grabbed her own phone, turned around and walked downstairs.

Hotch ran over to his dresser and grabbed his boxers from the top drawer and quickly put them on, throwing his towel on the ground. He didn’t care that his hair was still dripping or that the beads of water from his chest were trickling down everywhere. He ran downstairs as fast as he could. 

“Emily, wait!”, he said, reaching the bottom as she grabbed her jacket that was draped over the couch and slid it on. She was glad she had already put on socks when she got changed upstairs. She easily slipped on her converse by the door, tying them as fast as she could as Hotch approached her. 

“Aaron, just don’t.”, she said, standing up and walking over to the coffee table as he followed behind her.

“ _Emily, please_. Let’s just talk this out, okay? I’m sorry I told JJ about it, I was just-“, he started. 

She grabbed her keys from the table and stood up and turned to face him. “Yeah! Just _trying to protect me_ and keep me safe... well you know what Aaron...”, she said, brushing past him to the door, “... while trying to protect me in one way, you really hurt me in another.”, she said, opening the front door and walking out. 

He followed after barefoot, running up to her. “Emily, where are you going?!”, he asked, frantic.

“Back to my place.”, she said, reaching for the car door but he walked in front of it, blocking her from opening it. He reached for her face and held it in one hand. She wanted to be mad and pull away but she loved his soft touch and almost melted into him. She stayed looking down at the ground and trying to be stubborn but failed at first because of the tears in her eyes starting. 

“Please, hun. I’m sorry. But we can work this out, okay? I love you _so much_ , you mean the world to me.”, he said, taking her hand with his other and she immediately threw her hands up and brought her head back to look at him. 

“No, just move.”, she said, lightly pushing him to the side and opened her car door.

“ _Emily_ , please don’t go. Whenever we move in together, we can’t just run away anytime we have a fight.”, he said. 

She paused and looked at him standing behind her car door with one foot in it, making him nervous of what was about to come next. “Well maybe we shouldn’t.”, she said, not even waiting to see his reaction before she ducked into her car and slammed the door shut before pulling out of the driveway and speeding off.

Hotch stood there for a moment in shock and clenched his fists, trying to hold back tears but decided it was pointless. He brought both hands up to his head and ran his fingers through his hair tough. After a few seconds, he walked back inside and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass of water and leaned over the counter. He finished it and stopped for a moment when all of a sudden, he felt a wave of some intense emotions, he couldn’t even identify. Without even thinking, he picked up the glass and threw it across the kitchen, watching it shatter into a million pieces when it hit the wall. Without even picking it up, he walked out and went upstairs.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, and leaned over, resting his elbows on his legs and burying his face in his hands. He was never one to let out any sound when he cried but he did stain his face with tears. After a few minutes, his phone rang and he thought it might be Emily and shot up to get it from the night table but it wasn’t her, it was JJ but he still answered it.

“JJ, what’s going on?”, he tried to sound like he was well put together. 

“Hey, did you see my text? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be too pushy but I just... you know...”, she said.

“Yeah, I did. So did Emily...”, he sighed. 

“No... She _did?_ ”, she asked.

“Yep.”, his voice wobbled.

“Hotch... are you... alright?”, she asked.

“JJ, I don’t like crossing any boundaries with people I work with. It’s hard enough drawing some lines with Emily like I said but we’re talking about a personal thing here and about someone who is part of both of our personal lives so... I’m not your boss right now, okay?”, he said, making it obvious he was starting to cry. 

“Of course. What’s wrong? Is Emily okay?”, she asked.

He didn’t bother holding back any tears and his voice was shaky, he just couldn’t control it. “Yes and no. We got in a big fight. I don’t know how to fix it. And I feel horrible but my intentions were to protect her but she said I just hurt her instead.”, he said.

“What happened?”, JJ asked

“She saw the text you sent and I tried to explain but she didn’t let me get many words out. Basically, she said I betrayed her trust by telling you about Derek. That I’m the one person she trusted the most and told only me things that were some of the hardest... issues or secrets or feelings to talk about and that no one else knows about. She pointed out how I’ve always told her how she never opens up and now she finally has, more so in the past few months... She said while I was trying to protect her in one way, in this case being from Derek, I hurt her in another by telling you.”, he said, sniffling.

“Hotch, I’m really sorry... what else did she say, she just left?”, JJ asked.

“She yelled again at me, went downstairs, to get her keys and shoes and jacket and just walked out. I went after her, of course... I stopped her at her car and I almost thought she might stay because I brought my hand to her face and she didn’t fight it and kind of leaned into it and calmed down. I told her I’m sorry and we need to talk about it and how much I love her and then I tried to hold her hand but she just got frustrated and... mad again and I stepped away and she opened her car. And...”, he took a second, holding back some tears this time, “... I told her when we move in together, we can’t just run away and she said that maybe we shouldn’t. I don’t know what that means for us now... Is that her saying she doesn’t want to move in anymore or is that her saying she’s unsure and we should talk about it?”, he said.

“I really don’t know. Women don’t always mean everything they say in the moment... I’m sure she meant a lot of it but... I think what she was trying to say or let you know was, she doesn’t think you should move in if she can’t trust you. Like... she can’t take that big of a step when things aren’t stable yet in the place you’re at now. But... you have to talk to her yourself to know for sure. I can’t speak for her on that.”, JJ said. 

“I really don’t think she’s going to answer me right now. I was going to call her and text her to make sure she got home alright but I don’t think she’ll reply...”, he said. 

“Do you want me to try?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... I really have no idea what to do. You’re her best friend. You _know_ her. And I know that I know her too but... you’re a woman. Emily doesn’t have many friends and she tells me a lot how I’m not a girl and I don’t get it.”, he laughed.

“I’ll give her a call. Maybe just shoot her a text but don’t call her. My guess is she _won’t_ answer your call and if she did... you’ll probably wish that she _didn’t_.”, JJ laughed.

“Alright, you’re right, you’re right. What do I do though? How do I... make things right with her?”, he asked.

“Give her space. Give her a little time. If she doesn’t want to talk to you, she won’t, there’s nothing you can do about that and you don’t want to push things and make them worse.”, she said. 

“We’ve literally only spent a few nights apart the entire time we’ve been together. It feels weird and... I miss her already. I don’t know how I’m not going to talk to her... I _do_ feel guilty about what I did but would I do it again? Probably... if it meant keeping her safe, then yes, I would. I mean, maybe there was a different way of going about doing it though...”, he said.

“When you _do_ talk to her, tell her that. Just let her know you feel bad but you would do anything to protect her and admit that maybe you could have gone about it a different way and now you know to do that. And talk to her about what would be some ways you _could_ that would make her feel okay with it.”, JJ said. 

“Funny how earlier we were trying to help you with this stuff and... look how the tables have turned.”, he laughed. 

“That’s how relationships go... and that’s how we are for each other, friends that is. Always there for each other as cheesy as it sounds.”, JJ said.

“Thank you...”, he said.

“I’m here for you guys. Both of you... together or apart.”, she said. 

“I really appreciate it.”, he said.

“I appreciate everything _you_ guys do for _me_. Like I said, we’re there for each other especially since we don’t have many other people we can talk about this with or even that we know I guess. Work takes up a lot of time. It’s kind of hard to meet other people that don’t work with us.”, she laughed. 

“Oh trust me, _I know_.”, he chuckled. 

“Well, I think you _probably_ need some rest but why don’t you try sending her a text and I’ll call her in a few.”, she said.

“Alright. Thank you... again.”, he said.

“Don’t mention it.”, she said.

“Have a goodnight. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”, he said.

“You too.”, she said and they hung up. 

Hotch pulled up his texts with Emily and started typing. He looked over it 3 times before sending it, reading, “ _Sweetie, I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be. I want to talk about it but I know you need your space and that’s fine. Take as much as you want and I am here waiting for you whenever you are ready. You can yell at me if you want, I know I definitely would want to if I were you. But know that I love you and I miss you already not in bed with me, by my side, in my arms. I wish I could make you feel better because I hate seeing you upset especially when I know I’m the cause of it. But at least let me know you got home safe tonight_.”

He waited a few minutes, staring at his phone and then laid down, waiting another 15 just to see if she would send him even one text just saying, “ _Yes_ ”, to let him know she got home alright. After another 5 minutes went by, he lost hope that she would reply at all or maybe even see his message. He thought maybe she went to sleep or maybe she didn’t care enough or maybe she was too angry to even pick up her phone or look at his name. 

He gave up on waiting by his phone and went to brush his teeth. A couple minutes later while he was washing his face, his phone rang and he figured it was JJ again or something for work. He drudged over to his phone laying on his bed and sat down on it and looked at the contact picture. When he saw the picture of Emily he took at the cabin when she thought she looked awful in her sweats with messy hair and no makeup but he kept telling her she looked beautiful, he couldn’t help but smile. He momentarily freaked out, not expecting her to even text him back, let alone call him. But he hit the answer button immediately.

“Em, are you okay?”, he asked.

“No... but I’m safe...”, she said quietly. He could tell she’d been crying by the sound of her voice, being stuffed up and still sniffling a bit. He could also hear the exhaustion in her voice. He knew she was probably laying down in bed, feeling awful she must’ve had to change the sheets that Derek had slept in by herself. He hated that.

He sighed and closed his eyes, bringing his hand to his forehead, covering his eyes. “Honey, I’m so sorry...”, he said.

He heard her sniffle but no cry before she practically exhaled, “I knowww...”, he was surprised by the tone she was speaking in and the way the word was so drawn out. He couldn’t tell if she was just exhausted, had forgiven him, or just given up because they all sounded very similar. It sounded like defeat almost.

“ _Em_ ...”, he stopped and started crying again. “I feel so bad that I hurt you and...”, he kept having to take a second, letting out a silent cry. “...and betrayed your trust, I know... I really _was_ trying to look out for you. I just...”, he tried breathing through his nose deep but it came out as another sniffle and sighed. “I just went about it the wrong way. I see that now and I should’ve communicated with you better on how I could’ve done that in a way that you felt comfortable with and... I’ll never do that again without going over it with you first and coming to an agreement on it because... I will never stop taking care of you. I’ve never been in a relationship under these circumstances obviously so I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna screw a few things up here and there but I just don’t want either of us running away or giving up when that happens because you’re too important to me to let go of. I don’t _ever_ want to. I love you too much.”, he finished. 

“I love you too. And... okay.”, she said.

“That’s it? Okay?”, he asked.

“I mean we can talk more about it later but I hear you and I agree. And I forgive you because I know you meant well and actually meant it when you apologized. And... I’m sorry sweetie I’m just really tired from everything. Do you wanna just come over? I get it if you don’t feel like it, it’s fine...”, she sighed.

“Of course I want to. I miss you already.”, he laughed.

“Okay. I’ll stay up and wait for you.”, she said.

“You sound really sleepy, are you sure?”, he asked.

“I’m sure that I want you over here, so, yes. I’ll stay up and wait for you. Under one condition.”, she said.

“ _Anything_.”, he said.

“You’re the big spoon tonight.”, she let a quiet, tired laugh.

“Sweetie, when am I _not_ the big spoon?”, he laughed, sniffling more and wiping away the remaining tears from his face. He’d finally stopped crying but still had some he hadn’t wiped away yet. 

“I know, I’m just reminding you.”, she said. He could practically hear her smile.

“Let me put some clothes on and I’ll be right over. Don’t fall asleep.”, he said.

“I’ll get up and make us some tea.”, she said.

“Alright, I love you.”, he said.

“Love you too, see you soon.”, she said, hanging up.

30 minutes later, Hotch knocked on the door and Emily ran to it. As tired as she was, he always made some part of her come to life. He could get her energy going so easily but was also able to soothe her to the point where she could fall asleep in his arms.

She opened the door and stared him down before she said, “What took you so long?”, still staring at him with a work bag slung around his shoulder, holding his suit for the next day, she was sure. 

“Sorry, hun. I just thought you might want this...”, he moved his hand forward from behind his back, holding a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, her favorite. He gave her the puppy dog eyes and pouted his lip. She smiled big and pulled him inside. 

He walked past her to the kitchen and set the ice cream down on the counter, grabbing 2 spoons, already knowing where everything was and knowing they wouldn’t need any bowls because when Emily was stressed, she’d eat straight from the container and usually finish it. But even if she couldn’t that night, she had Hotch to help her.

He pulled a couple napkins out as well and looked over at her, already walking up to him. He set everything down and opened his arms to her. She wrapped hers around him and held on tight while he did the same. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back up and down. 

“Honey, I’m so sorry.”, he said.

“I know, sweetie.”, she said with her face nuzzled against his chest. 

“No, I realized another reason why you’re upset about it all... It wasn’t just that I told JJ about it, it’s that I kept that from you and didn’t let you know that. I went behind your back and that really _is_ betraying your trust. And I’m so sorry. It won’t ever happen again.”, he said, kissing the side of her head.

“You _are_ a good profiler. _I_ didn’t even realize that was part of the reason I was mad.”, she laughed.

“Well, I’m glad I could be honest about that. I’m usually a very honest person as you know. I’m really glad you know now because I _hated_ keeping things from you. I know we promised a while ago not to lie or keep anything from each other after how we got started and everything we went through. And I broke that. But now I’m taking responsibility for it, okay? It’s on me.”, he said.

“ _Aaron. Honey_ . I _know_ . Okay? We’ll talk more about how we are going to work on communication and everything tomorrow. But for now...”, she pulled back and brought her hands to behind his neck and interlaced her fingers hanging onto it. “... let’s have some ice cream and then get in bed because I really _am_ exhausted. It wasn’t just the fighting that wore me out. That shower was pretty...”, she raised her eyebrows and smirked.

“It most certainly was.”, he smirked. “You just can’t seem to stay away from me, can you?”, he said.

“Mmmm I think it’s mutual.”, she said.

“Alright, _fiiinnee_.”, he said, throwing his head back and laughing. “I guess neither of us can.”

She pulled him down by his neck and brought his lips to hers. “Mmmm. Why did I miss you and it’d only been a couple hours?”, she laughed with their foreheads pressed together. 

“I think I might have missed you a little more. I actually cried, Em.”, he laughed. “Well, not just because I missed you but because I hate fighting and I felt awful about everything and- oh shit...”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“I might’ve broken a glass and forgotten to clean it up...”, he rolled his lips in and raised his eyebrows.

“Aaron!”, she slapped his shoulder. 

“Hey! It wasn’t one of _your_ glasses.”, he said.

“Yeah, well, when we’re living together, you can’t just go around throwing our things and breaking our stuff.”, she said.

“ _When we’re living together?_ Does that mean you still want to move in with me? You still want to live with me? Even though I drive you crazy...”, he said. 

“Yes.”, she kissed him. “I still want to move in with you.”, she kissed him again, watching him grin like an idiot. “You drive me crazy sometimes... but usually in a good way... After seeing what happened tonight... I don’t want to have the option to just run away from this so easily. I want _this_ . What we have... _right here, right now._ No running... from now on... no running.”, she said, looking deep in his eyes.

“No running.”, he said quiet and steady, staring back into hers.

  
  



	54. Brother Brother

  
  
  


**Chapter 54**

  
  
  


**trigger warning: mentions of hotch and his brother’s abuse when they were children**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


Friday night that week had finally rolled around and Hotch and Emily had gone back to his house after work to get ready before they met up with his brother. 

While Hotch was downstairs throwing some laundry in the washer, he tried to get Emily to finish changing and come downstairs.

“Emily! Come on!”, he called out.

“I’ll be down in a second!”, she shouted back. 

“That’s what you said 10 minutes ago.”, he shook his head as he walked up to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway and leaned against it with his arms crossed. In front of him, across the room he looked at her standing in front of the full-body length mirror. She was throwing a new baggy but nice and stylish sweater on. Once she pulled it over and looked in the mirror, fixing her hair, she saw him staring at her with a soft smile.

Without turning around she looked in his eyes in the mirror. “I’m sorry, I’m almost ready.”, she said, looking at her outfit up and down.

He began to walk over to her and wrapped his arms around her stomach from behind. “You look good, sweetie. Let’s _go_.”, he said.

“Oh no, finally this sweater goes with my jeans and shoes the best but maybe I should have curled my hair instead. It looks weird like this, it just doesn’t go together...”, she said.

“How can a simple _hairstyle_ not go with an _outfit?_ ”, he laughed. 

“You’re not a girl. You don’t get it.”, she said.

“ _No_ ... but I can tell you that you look fine. No. You look _beautiful_ . But it’s super casual tonight. Look at _me_. I’m just wearing jeans, a shirt, plain jacket, and matching converse with you.”, he said, burying his face in her neck, placing soft kisses up to behind her ear.

“Maybe I should change my jeans. What if I spill something on them?”, she asked.

“Em, you take a risk whenever you wear white jeans no matter what you’re going out to do. Anything could get them dirty. You don’t need to change anything else. Hair looks fine straightened, your makeup looks nice, and your outfit is perfect. Now let’s _go_.”, he said. 

“Fine.”, she said, turning around and grabbing her phone from the night table. 

“Wait, actually... are you sure you want to wear that sweater?”, he asked.

“Why? Does it not look good? I _knew_ it.”, she said, worried, walking over to the mirror again.

“No, no. It looks fine, it’s just... it shows off your shoulder... it does that thing where it hangs to the... side and isn’t that supposed to be kind of... sexy or something?”, he asked.

“Is that seriously what you’re worried about? That my shoulder is showing? You think it’s too sexy? It’s not a sexy sweater.”, she said, turning to face him.

“No. I’m just worried you might get cold.”, he said.

“ _I’m fine, Aaron_.”, she said, rolling her eyes and walking past him. 

“So you _are_ going to wear it then?”, he asked, following her downstairs.

“Yes. Is that a problem?”, she asked.

“No. No, it’s not a problem at all. You can wear whatever you want.”, he said, obviously still bothered by her wearing a revealing top to go meet his brother. Sean had always been known to be quite the flirt. Not only did Hotch not want his brother hitting on Emily because he got jealous and protective of her but also because he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. This was the first time she was meeting any of his family and he didn’t want Sean to make a bad impression on her.

“Aaron, are you coming? You _were_ the one rushing to get out of the house after all.”, she said. 

“Right, sorry.”, he said, grabbing his keys and following her into the garage. They got in the car and drove to the restaurant they were meeting Sean at. 

Once they got there, they parked the car and walked inside. They were sat outside on the patio near the front so Sean could see them when he got there.

“Honey, what’s up with you?”, she laughed, looking up from the menu.

“What do you mean?”, he asked, not even looking at his menu, shaking his leg up and down, looking all around. 

“You’re really fidgety right now.”, she said.

“No, I’m not.”, he got defensive.

“ _Yeah_ , yeah, you are.”, she said.

“I’m just a little nervous.”, he said.

“ _Why?_ ”, she asked, reaching for his hand but he stood up too fast when he saw his brother opening the small, waist-high gate to the patio and walking over to their table. Emily stood up when he finally got to Hotch. 

“Sean.”, Hotch said in a flat tone.

“Hey man.”, Sean grabbed his hand and went in for the typical man hug which was really half a hug with a hard pat on the back. 

“Um, this is my girlfriend, Emily. Emily, Sean.”, Hotch said, introducing them.

Sean stepped over to Emily and shook her hand. “It’s really nice to meet you.”, she smiled big.

“You too.”, he said, flashing a smile back and looking her up and down.

Of course, used to being noticed by men for her looks and being a profiler, she noticed him doing so but brushed it off. However, Hotch on the other hand didn’t. When Sean looked back at him with eyebrows raised and slightly nodded his head, Hotch clenched his fists. That was _not_ how or why he wanted his brother to approve of his girlfriend. 

When Hotch sat back down, he scooted his chair closer to Emily, and put his hand on her thigh under the table. Sean sat down on Emily’s other side and Hotch eyed him the whole time. 

Emily looked at the menu and said, “I think I’m gonna get the chicken Caesar salad and... honey...”, she looked over at Hotch and placed her hand on his that was resting on her leg. “... Do you wanna split that prosciutto and caramelized onion pizza?”, she asked.

“Sounds good. It comes on thin crust, right?”, he asked.

“Yes, I know that one is your favorite.”, she smiled. “Sean, what are you thinkin’?”, she asked.

“I don’t know. What do _you_ suggest?”, he asked, resting his elbow on the table and running his fingers along his lips, seductively, looking deep in her eyes and smiling, using the charm Hotch dreaded he would. 

“Umm, how do you feel about sausage? This one here is great.”, she said, pointing to something listed on the menu as she leaned slightly towards him and he scooted his chair closer to her.

“Yeah, that looks good.”, he said, sitting back in his chair again. “Tell me somethin’, Emily.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she laughed.

“What’s a young, beautiful...”, right as Sean said that part, Hotch put his arm around Emily, getting defensive and protective of her. Sean continued, “...smart, _kind_ , and _happy_ woman doin’ with my brother here?”, he chuckled.

“He’s not so bad.”, she laughed.

“There’s gotta be somethin’... I don’t know. Something just doesn’t add up with this.”, he said.

“I don’t know exactly what it was. We’ve known each other a long time. Being reconnected and getting closer to him... I don’t know, it just kind of happened. There may be a lot of flaws other people see but not for _me_. I love him and every part of him. It just happens. I don’t know why it is that way but... it is.”, she shrugged.

“That must be nice.”, Sean nodded his head. “I still see lots of those flaws but I’m glad he finally found someone who can at least put up with them.”, he laughed. 

Hotch rolled his eyes and even though Emily wasn’t looking at him, she knew he was doing so. She put her hand on his thigh and rubbed it up and down, squeezing it lightly and resting it there.

“Well, when we’re at work, that’s a different story.”, she laughed, looking over at Hotch to tell him with her eyes to just laugh and play along. He just smiled and nodded his head.

After they’d ordered their dinner, they caught up more about the past couple years since they’d seen each other. Emily _tried_ to get to know him but there didn’t seem to be much to know about.

“You’re looking for an apartment tomorrow? Wow... big change. And you’re going with?”, Sean looked at Emily and after she nodded, he looked back at Hotch. “Jack gonna be over there at all?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah. We’re thinking every weekend. With work, I don’t get home till late, it just wouldn’t work for weekdays. It might change over time as he gets older though.”, Hotch said. 

“Have you met him?”, Sean asked, looking over at Emily.

“No. Not yet. Probably gonna wait a bit on that one I think.”, she said awkwardly. 

“Yeah, neither have I. My own nephew... and I’ve never even met him.”, he said, taking a sip of his water.

“Maybe if you came out here more or called, you’d be able to.”, Hotch said back, throwing in some attitude.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”, Sean stared at him.

Right as Emily was about to change the topic, their food came. “Here you go, hun.”, Hotch said, handing her a plate. 

“Thanks. Here, you take the first piece. Do you want some salad? I don’t know if I can finish that _and_ the pizza.”, she said.

“I’ll take a small plate.”, Hotch said, grabbing an extra plate for it. He started serving himself and noticed her staring at him. “What?”, he asked.

“You’re taking all the croutons and chicken.”, she said.

“That’s the best part!”, he said.

“I know! That’s why I ordered it!”, she laughed.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”, he said, kissing her cheek. “Here, take some back.”, he said, pouring some back on the plate.

“I see not much has changed.”, Sean laughed.

“What hasn’t?”, Hotch asked. 

“You’re still a bit food aggressive. A little greedy with your servings. I always had to get to the kitchen fast for dinner so he wouldn’t eat all of it.”, Sean said.

“Okay, first of all, I was on the football team, I had to eat a lot.”, Hotch laughed, surprising Emily. “Second, I was usually the one who cooked dinner anyways.”, he said.

“Really?”, Emily asked.

“Really what? That I was on the football team?”, Hotch asked.

“Well that _and_ you cooked dinner for your family a lot? That’s really sweet.”, she said.

“Yeah, I was, all throughout high school. And it’s nothing, really. _Somebody_ had to.”, he said, taking a bite of his pizza. Him and Sean grew silent for a moment, both looking down until Sean broke the silence.

“Aaron was actually the one who taught me how to cook. Now, I do it for a living so... I guess I have him to thank for _a lot_ of things.”, Sean said, sincere, looking over at Hotch who was suddenly feeling uncomfortable with how personal the conversation was getting.

“If you’d uh- excuse me... I’ll- I’ll be right back.”, Hotch said, scooting his chair out and standing up.

“Where you going?”, Emily asked, concerned by his behavior all of a sudden. She could tell something had upset him.

“I’ll just be back in a minute.”, he said again, walking away. 

She looked over at Sean who was scratching the back of his head, feeling awkward about what had just happened.

“Do you know what that was all about?”, she asked.

“He’s just... never really liked talking about our childhood much, I guess. Not everything but a lot of it just... he’s a private person.”, Sean said, eating the last piece of his pizza already. “This was a good suggestion.”, he said, holding up the slice of it, trying to change the subject.

Emily looked intent at him and debated whether she should bring it up or not. She knew Hotch would be gone for a few minutes and she had a little time. 

“Does it have anything to do with your father?”, she asked. Sean looked up at her just with his eyes and back down at his food. “He told me about him... I’m not trying to pry or make you uncomfortable. I’m just wondering if that’s a specific trigger for him. He’s really only ever talked about him once but he talked about you too.”, she said in a sympathetic tone, trying to make eye contact with him. 

Sean finished his dinner and wiped his hands with the napkin and looked her right in the eye. “Emily, I can tell you’re really good for Aaron. And he needs that. The fact that he told you about our childhood at all... he must really trust you. And yeah... I think it definitely _can_ be a trigger for him. I haven’t seen him consistently since before he moved out and went to _college_ , so I don’t know everything about how he feels. But I _do_ know that... as much shit as we give each other... I’m grateful to have him as my brother. He’s done a lot for me. But we don’t always get along anymore. We can be alright one minute and the next, he’ll go off. I can never say or do anything right for him it seems... I’m sorry, I’m not trying to bag on him especially with you. That’s just how we are. It’s not always great.”, he said.

Emily stared at him until he looked behind her and leaned back in his seat more. Hotch walked up to her and sat back down. She rubbed his shoulder and waited for him to look back at her. “You alright?”, she whispered.

“Yeah.”, he said, short, avoiding eye contact with either of them while they finished their dinner. 

When he was finally done, Emily tried to look him in the eyes after asking if he was alright again. He looked away from her and all around for a waiter, and grabbed a check. Sean pulled out his card but Hotch refused to let him pay for anything. After they went back and forth, Hotch lost it. “It’s fine! I’ve got it.”, Hotch almost yelled at him.

Emily was completely shocked at how he was acting. She’d seen him like that a couple times before, typically when they’d been fighting before they were together officially. But she didn’t like it. She went for his hand that wasn’t writing the tip but he pulled it away to grab his wallet from his pocket. She knew it was partially because he had to grab it but also knew he was avoiding contact with anybody in the moment. She kept her hands off of him even once they got up and left. 

They went down to the National Mall and walked around for a while. It was silent for a bit until they got there. “Wow. You know I’ve seen so many videos of those famous speeches from here and everything but actually _being_ here... pretty awesome.”, Sean said.

“Yep.”, Hotch said with his hands in his pockets, looking all around. 

Sean stopped in place and turned to Hotch. “Alright, what gives man? You still upset about what we talked about? You cooking dinner when we were younger? Is that what’s got you so pissed? Because mom and dad didn’t do shit?”, Sean was starting to push Hotch’s buttons but he just looked away as Emily stood next to him but not too close. “You stepped up then and ever since that, that’s all people see. People saw me as the helpless little boy who needed his big brother to protect him until he left.”, Sean said.

“Stop.”, Hotch whispered to him, looking him straight in the eye.

“You know what happened when you left and never came back or hardly even _called?_ I used to come to school with a black eye every week. I couldn’t join any sports because dad broke a couple of my ribs and it never healed right because nobody would take me to the hospital. The other kids at school picked on me, all the way through high school. They called me weak when they saw the bruises on me but nothing on my own fists like you would have.”, Sean kept going.

“Don’t.”, Hotch said a little bit above a whisper. 

Emily was starting to get even more uncomfortable than before. She had no idea what to do. She had her arms crossed and looked down at the ground scuffing the tip of her shoe.

“You were always the strong one, more likeable, outgoing, you sure had a lot of guts. I mean, remember that one night? Dad came home late from work, you were in the kitchen...”, Sean started.

Hotch’s whole expression changed instantly. He furrowed his eyebrows, and whispered through his teeth, “Shut up.”

“I came out to grab the sandwich you made me. I dropped my glass of milk and dad walked in and saw the mess _and_ that I was up past my bedtime. I recall him pushing you on the ground and you fell on the broken glass. But you got up pretty quick once you saw him grab me and he had the belt.”, Sean said.

“Shut up, Sean...”, Hotch warned him.

Emily brought her head up to Hotch finally and saw the look on his face.

“Like I said, you always had to be the hero. Was you ending up in the hospital worth it though? Grabbing the belt from him and the fire poker stick and-“, Sean couldn’t finish what he was saying before Hotch interrupted.

“I said _shut the hell up!_ ”, Hotch yelled, grabbing Sean’s shirt and throwing him up against the tree right behind him and kept him pinned there. 

Emily immediately had a reason to touch him and speak to him but in that moment, she wished she hadn’t. She took a few steps to him fast and grabbed his shoulder with both hands. She tried to pull him off but he was too strong especially when he got angry like that. “ _Aaron!_ ”, she said, not quite yelling. She backed away when she couldn’t move him at all and put her hands on her face. She had no idea what to do.

“Really? You’re gonna do this in front of your girlfriend?”, Sean asked, antagonizing him, not phased at all by what was happening.

“Don’t talk about her.”, Hotch hissed.

“Is this supposed to scare me? Are you gonna hurt me? What’s your plan, huh? Are you gonna do to me just what you did to dad that night?”, Sean said.

Hotch’s grip on him tightened and pushed him a bit more. “You don’t know _shit_ about that night. I did that to protect you. Not because of some hero complex you think I have. I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital if you hadn’t ran over to the neighbor’s. And you think that I’m trying to take attention away from you? _You helped me_. Do you even remember doing that?... I hope not... because trust me... you don’t want to. I have it stuck in my mind forever. All I wanted to do was protect you. So don’t go throwing it in my face, saying the opposite.”, Hotch said through his teeth in an angry tone that Emily had never heard before.

When he was finally silent for a moment, Emily tried again and grabbed his arms which he actually let her bring down and release Sean. She could tell Hotch was holding back a lot. A lot of anger and sadness but wouldn’t let it out. They took a couple steps to the side and she grabbed his face with both hands. 

“Honey, look at me, look at me.”, she brought his head up. “Just... breathe.”, she said as he pressed his forehead to hers and wrapped his arms around hers. She brought hers to around his neck and rubbed the back of his head. She turned towards Sean with Hotch’s back to him and she mouthed “ _Are you okay?_ ”, when he nodded his head like no big deal, and she mouthed “ _I’m sorry_.”, rolling her lips in, he waved his hand at her letting her know it was nothing.

“Aaron...”, she whispered in his ear. “Let’s go back to your place, okay?” She felt him nod and she pulled back. “Why don’t you get the car and bring it back here?”, she said.

“You’re not coming with me?”, he asked.

“Well I- I wanna stay here for a few. Just go get the car and bring it back alright?”, she asked.

He turned his head to Sean and glared at him. Emily brought his face back to hers. “Sweetie... go get the car, okay? Take a breather and some space and get the car.”, she told him.

“Yeah. Alright.”, he nodded and she brought his face close to hers again until their lips met. 

“I love you.”, she said. 

“I love you too.”, he told her, giving her one last kiss. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”, he said, rubbing her side. 

“Okay.”, she smiled, as he let go of her and walked off. 

Once he couldn’t hear them anymore, Emily walked over to a bench and sat down, looking at Sean, asking him to join her. He stepped over to it and sat on the other end.

“Sean, I know we just met but I can tell you’re a great guy. And your Aaron’s brother and I love him. I want to be on a good page with his brother. Family is important to me. I didn’t grow up with the same experience as you guys so I can’t possibly begin to understand.”, she said, bringing a leg up onto the bench and clutched to her chest and rested her arm on it. “I grew up as an only child. We moved around a lot. My parents were almost never around because of their work as ambassadors and it just- it’s not the same but it’s not the type of family and nurturing a child needs. You asked what someone like me is doing with Aaron? Well... it’s because we understand each other in a lot of ways I think. We connect on a lot of different levels and he cares. He has a big heart. And even though he got physical with you tonight, which I am not excusing at all, he cares about you.”, she said, touching his shoulder.

“I know that... Of course I know that. I just don’t know what I keep doing to make him so angry and disappointed with me all the time.”, he said.

“Okay... listen. You do _not_ disappoint him at all. It is not _you. You_ are not the reason why he gets this way. The first night he talked about you to me, he cried. Over the course of... a little more than a year or so, I’ve only seen him cry a few times. That was one of them. He told me he feels guilty for leaving you. And said he didn’t know what happened after he left and he felt horrible for never checking in with you once he was gone. The only reason he did what you said that he did was because he wanted to shield you from having to see any of that or take any of it. He really _did_ want to protect you. I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty. I’m saying this so you know that’s really why he did all of that. And sometimes he doesn’t show it the best... in fact, and don’t tell him I told you this...”, she laughed, “... but he _sucks_ at expressing his feelings. At least most of the time. He doesn’t like to seem vulnerable. I think part of that is because he _couldn’t_ when he was younger. He felt he had to be strong and show no weakness and felt bad he couldn’t be there for you anymore when he left. He hoped you would be strong and seeing how you are now... my guess is that you were...and still are.”, she smiled at him.

“I’m really glad you’re in his life... He deserves someone like you... I want him to be happy. When I said that I have him to thank for a lot of things... that wasn’t a lie. I just wish we had a better relationship like we used to.”, he said.

“I think you should tell him that.”, she said.

“He’s not gonna listen.”, he said.

“I think he might.”, she said. They heard a car pulling up and looked over to see Hotch get out and lean against it. They both stood up and she pulled him in for a hug. “Come on.”, she said. They walked up the steps to the sidewalk and the car parked right up to it. She was a bit ahead of Sean and went up to Hotch. She placed her hand on his face and gave him a kiss. 

“I think you should talk to him.”, she said, looking over at Sean who approached them. Hotch looked back to her and she rubbed his back, getting into the car. 

Hotch made eye contact with Sean and they walked a few cars down to talk while Emily waited in the car. After a few minutes she saw them hug and not one of their _bro hugs_ but a real hug. Hotch started walking back to the car when Sean walked off to his. He got in the driver's seat and looked over at Emily.

“I take it, you worked some things out.”, she said.

“Yeah... we did actually. Thank you.”, he said.

“For what? That was all you.”, she said.

“No. No, you helped.”, he told her. “You really _do_ bring people together.”

“I want you to be able to actually have a relationship with your brother. You guys went through a lot together. You can’t just throw that away or the bond you had.”, she said.

“I love you so much.”, he said, leaning over the console and crashing his lips onto hers.

“I love you too. I’m proud of you. Proud that you were able to change things... not that you threw him up against the tree.”, she laughed.

“I’m sorry I did that in front of you and also distancing myself from you for part of the night. I was just... in a weird space but I will communicate those things to you better whenever they happen again.”, he said.

“I completely understand that. If anybody does, it’s me. You know that.”, she smiled.

“That’s one reason why I love you.”, he said, giving her another kiss before starting the car.

When they got back to his place, they went upstairs and got changed into pajamas. She put the 5 other tops that she’d taken out earlier as options to wear, back in her bag. They got in bed and turned the lights out. 

“Em, I’m really sorry about tonight.”, he said.

“You worked it out and hopefully you’re in an even better place than you were before.”, she said, scooting into his arms.

“Still. I didn’t want to scare you either. I don’t want you to think I’m anything like the type of person my father was. I haven’t really done that many times before... I didn’t scare you, did I?”, he asked.

“No, sweetie. You didn’t. Not at all.”, she said, rubbing his chest.

“You wanna know, don’t you?”, he asked.

“Only if you’re willing to share and feel it’ll be beneficial but I don’t need to know if you don’t want to talk about it.”, she said.

“The only other person who knows about it I guess is Sean. It might be good to... you know.”, he sighed.

“Okay. I’m listening.”, she said.

“I don’t want to go into too much of it. Short story version. Well I say that and it doesn’t always turn out short but... That night my father got home late, I hadn’t made dinner that because I was out with some friends and Sean was really hungry. It was past his bedtime but I made him a sandwich and my father got home right as he was walking out and dropped the glass of milk. My father got really mad and... got his belt ready and grabbed Sean and while I tried to grab them, he pushed me on the ground and I fell on the broken glass and got some cuts of course. But I got back up and Sean was crying and I grabbed the belt from behind and used that to... pull my father off of him. He got a few hits in. I told Sean to run to his room and lock the door but he was just yelling and crying as my father was wailing on me. I got a few hits in too but he was bigger than me. I saw the...”, he sighed and took a moment before he kept going.

“It’s okay. I’m not judging you. You don’t have to be afraid or hold anything back at all. I know it’s hard, don’t rush.”, she said, rubbing his chest again. 

He took a deep breath and continued. “I was close to the fireplace and it was just an instinct to grab it when he looked back over at Sean crying. He yelled at him and started going for him so... I reached over and grabbed the fire poker stick and... I hit him with it just to knock him down to the ground but when I got up, he did the same thing... a few times before throwing it across the room and breaking more things. Before Sean could see any more of my father just kicking me and... he ran to neighbor’s house and got one of them to call an ambulance and for them to come over. I honestly don’t know where my father went but he left. And my mom... she must’ve been asleep. She took a lot of pills and was just passed out. Almost nothing could wake her up most nights this would happen. I don’t remember much between that and waking up in the hospital I just remember a lot of blood and a lot pain...”, he said.

“Aaron... I-“, she was speechless. She hugged him tight and moved her head up to his. She brought her hand to his face and her forehead to his while his arm was still wrapped around her. She traced his cheekbones and jawline with her fingers and stared deep in his eyes. “You’re so strong, you know that, right?”, she whispered.

“That doesn’t make me strong.”, he said.

“Yes. It does. That’s not the only thing that does but... it is one thing.”, she said.

“Well, now you know.”, he said, closing his eyes, letting a tear trickle down. 

Emily wiped it away and placed her lips on his. “You rose above that. Some people grow up to repeat that but you grew up to stop that and save others in that situation. I think that’s very admirable and I think _that_ makes you strong. To have the courage to do that.”, she said, against his lips before melting into them again.

“I love you.”, he whispered.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, she whispered back and kissed him one more time before falling asleep.

  
  



	55. Double Date

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 55**

  
  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


The next morning Emily’s phone rang, waking both her and Hotch up. Without opening her eyes, she rolled out of his arms, reaching over to the night table to grab it. 

“Prentiss.”, she answered in a groggy voice.

“Sorry did I wake you?”, the voice on the other end of the line said.

“JJ?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, she laughed. “Late night, huh?”

“Yeah, but not in the way _you’re_ thinking.”, Emily said, rolling back over to Hotch.

“Ughh is that JJ?”, Hotch asked, too tired to open his eyes as well. 

“Yeah, feel like saying _hi?_ ”, Emily laughed but Hotch just groaned and grabbed the pillow and put it over his head to cover his ears. 

“Someone a little grumpy?”, JJ asked.

“He’s not really a morning person on the weekends.”, Emily said.

“I can tell.”, JJ laughed. “Well, I was just wondering what time you guys wanted to get together tonight.”, she said.

“Ummm we’re going to look at some apartments soon but it’s not going to take us all day so I guess any time for dinner works.”, Emily said.

“How does 7:00 sound?”, JJ asked.

“Sounds good to _me_. Hold on.”, Emily said, kicking Hotch. 

“Ow! Em!”, he mumbled under the pillow.

“How’s 7:00 tonight sound?”, she asked him.

“Mmhmm.”, he said.

“Alright, I guess that’s a _yes_.”, Emily said.

“Great. Also... I talked to Will...”, JJ said.

“Oh? And?”, Emily asked.

“There’s still some things to work out and it’ll be a few months or so, he has to talk to his boss about his contract but... he said he wants to.”, JJ said.

“Seriously?! He’s moving here? JJ that’s great!”, Emily said.

“I was so surprised, I mean it’s a huge thing. I really didn’t think he was going to say _yes_ to it but I guess he feels the same way about all of it and he’s lived there his whole life... he wants a change.”, JJ said.

“Wow. I’m really happy for you. So are you guys going to get your own place or is he going to move in to-“, Emily started before Hotch took the pillow off his head and rolled over behind her, grabbing the phone. “Hey! Aaron, give me-“, she tried to say.

“JJ, we love you and we’re very happy for you. I will even buy us all dinner tonight because I will feel bad about saying this later on but... _go away!_ ”, he said, handing the phone back to Emily and putting the pillow back over his head.

“Aaron!”, she kicked him again.

“ _Emily!_ Why do you keep kicking me!”, he said.

“Because you’re being an ass!”, she laughed and could hear JJ on the other end, giggling as well. 

“Babe, there’s only one good reason to wake me up early on a weekend and I don’t see any of your clothes off so...”, he said.

“You can’t see _anything_ right now with your eyes closed and a pillow over your head.”, she said. “Sorry Jayje. Anyways, we’ll talk about that later but where- Aaron!”, she said. 

“I don’t have to open my eyes to figure out you’re not wearing any clothes, which you are.”, he said.

“So you decide to feel me up while I’m on the phone?”, she whispered and covered part of the phone so JJ wouldn’t have to hear her.

He giggled and rolled up next to her again, this time reaching for her shorts and starting to slide them down, while kissing her neck. 

“JJ, I’m gonna have to just text in a few if that’s alright.”, Emily said.

“Might be a little more than a few.”, Hotch said.

“Gotcha.”, JJ laughed.

“ _Goodbye_ JJ.”, Hotch said, reaching for the phone to hang up but Emily took it from him before he could. “ _Aaron!_... Alright, I’ll see you tonight and just text me the place you guys are thinking of. Make sure it’s pricey if Aaron is paying.”, Emily giggled once he brought his lips up and started nibbling on her neck and then her ear. 

“That is my que to hang up now. So... sounds good. I’ll text you soon and...”, before she could finish, Hotch grabbed the phone.

“And we’ll find a place for dinner, okay byyyye.”, he hung up and set her phone on his night table and took his shirt off.

“ _Aaron!_ You really _aren’t_ a morning person.”, she said.

“ _I told you_ , there’s only one reason why I ever enjoy early mornings on weekends.”, he said.

“Mmmm and what’s that?”, she asked.

Still under the sheets, he slid his boxers down and got on top of her, lifting her shirt up, over her head.

“This.”, he said, claiming her mouth with his and moving on top of her. 

“Mmmm yeah, that’s a nice thing to wake up to.”, she smiled, biting her lip. She ran her hands along his face.

“I’m excited to look at some places today. I’m glad you’re coming with. It’ll definitely be easier to picture you in one if you’re actually there, looking at them.”, he said.

“I know. Look at all of us. Will is moving out here, you’re getting a new place...”, she said.

“No. _We’re_ getting a new place.”, he said, kissing her.

“It won’t be _ours_ for a while, so really, it’ll be _yours_ till I can actually move in.”, she said, looking off to the side.

“Em...”, he stroked her cheek, “... you’re _going_ to move in. We _will_ live together. I just want to make sure it’s the right time for Haley because of Jack.”, he said.

She looked back at him and ran her hand from his neck down his back. “Honey, I _know that_ . I’m not upset about that. I don’t want to rush that. I just want to call it _our_ place but it doesn’t feel right saying that until it _is_. But I’m not upset about waiting. I understand and respect that. It’s an important thing. You don’t want to tell her too soon anyways because she might think it sounds crazy and that it’s moving too fast.”, she said.

“Is that what _you_ think?”, he asked her.

“No, no! Of course not! I wouldn’t have agreed to move in with you if I felt it was moving too fast for me. I think it _is_ a little crazy depending on how you look at it but a good kind of crazy.”, she said.

“So you’re not having second thoughts?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said, soft, grabbing his face to pull in for a kiss. He opened his eyes again and stared into hers. “I’m not. Not at all.”

“Good.”, he kissed her. “But if you ever _are_ , you’ll come to me, right?”, he asked.

“I promise.”, she said, wrapping her legs around his waist and he just smiled. She hung her arms off his shoulders and grabbed his hair, pulling him down for a kiss. “You _do_ realize that you’re buying everyone’s dinner tonight, right?”, she asked.

“It got her off the phone, didn’t it?”, he said.

“You’re such an ass.”, she threw her head back, rolling her eyes.

“But you love me anyways.”, he said, kissing her neck.

“I don’t know about that.”, she said.

“You’re about to.”, he said. He ran his tongue along his fingers and reached down, starting to tease her. She let out a moan and he whispered in her ear, “How much do you love me?”

She began to move with his fingers once they were inside her. She shook her head, letting out a half breathy laugh. “Not much.”, she said, moaning right after.

“I don’t believe that’s completely true.”, he said.

After a few minutes, she arched her back and grabbed onto his face, pulling him in for a deep kiss. All of a sudden, without anymore warning, she reached her point and started to say it. “Ahh I lo-“, she stopped herself and shut her mouth tight. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?”, he grinned.

She shook her head and reached for his but he pulled back. “Come here.”, she said. This time, _he_ shook his head. 

He lined himself up with her and slid in. It was hard not to kiss her but teasing her was so much fun. She kept reaching for his face but he kept his lips away from her completely. 

“Ahhh Aaron.”, she moaned as he kept moving his hips. “Please just- mmmm.”

“Tell me you love me.”, he said, out of breath.

“Just kiss me.”, she whined.

He brushed her hair out of her face, still moving and bit his lip as he leaned in closer. She could feel his breath on her as his forehead was touching hers but he still wouldn’t let his lips make contact with hers.

“God, Em.”, he grunted.

“Don’t stop. Please Aaron.”, she ran her fingers through his hair and looked him in the eye until he closed them and fell forward onto her. He buried his face in her neck and hair. He brought his lips to it but before he could continue, he remembered and pulled them off. “ _Aaron_. Fucking kiss me.”, she whined again. 

With his face still buried in her neck, he made sure he was breathing hard on it, making her shudder. “No.”, whispered.

She was starting to get frustrated but also close enough to the edge that the contact of their lips and tongue would let her finally reach it.

“Fine! I love you!”, she said.

He smiled and brought his lips to her neck and placed kisses all over and felt her getting closer. He grabbed her waist to hold her in place while he kept moving in and out of her. His lips travelled all the way up to her face, until he hovered over her lips. 

“How much do you love me?”, he panted. 

“Aaron. _Shut. Up_ .”, she said, tugging on his hair when he hit a spot where she couldn’t control her reactions. He gave her a look saying that he wasn’t going to do anything until she told him. “I love you so much, Aaron! Please, just -“, he cut her off by crashing his lips onto hers and moving his tongue around her mouth as she did the same. “ _Finally_.”, she said, continuing to kiss him. 

“I could say the same.”, he said, out of breath. 

She grabbed onto his back and digging her nails in, running them down as he started sucking on her neck. “How much do you love me, Aaron?”, she struggled to get out. 

“More than you’ll ever know.”, he said, bringing his lips back to hers as her hand came to the back of his head, making sure he didn’t leave them again. 

“Oh my god, Aaron. Ahh. I’m gonna-“, she started.

“I know, hun. Me too. Ahh you feel so good.”, he groaned. 

“Keep going. Ahh don’t stop. Oh god, don’t stop. Fuck. Oh my god!”, she cried out, releasing everything after the last word. “Oh my god, Aaron. I love you so much. So fucking much.”, she said, catching her breath. She pulled his head down more, running her fingers through his hair and all over his face. She whispered with her lips touching his ear, “Fuck me, Aaron. I want you to come for me. I want to feel you release everything deep inside and fill me up.”

“Ahhh Jesus Christ, Em. _Fuck_. You’re so perfect. I fucking love you.”, he said, holding onto her hips still, going harder and faster until he finally let it all go. “Arghh shit, Em. Ahh.”, he grunted and grabbed her face while he rode out his high and crashed his lips onto hers, groaning in her mouth.

He stopped moving his hips once he was done and pulled out but stayed on top of her, loving the closeness they had, and looked in her eyes. “Guess what?”, she said.

“What?”, he asked, still out of breath.

“Turns out, I _do_ love you after all.”, she smiled.

“Em?”, he said.

“What?”, she asked, looking at the expression she couldn’t read on his face.

“I’m sorry.”, he said.

“For _what?_ The whole _I love you_ thing? It was silly and kind of fun. Don’t be sorry.”, she said

“No, not that... I- I just feel bad that you have to put up with a lot like being held back from moving in with me and-“, he started and dropped his head. 

She took one of her hands and held the back of his neck while she ran her other hand from his forehead, over his hair, and all the way down and around to his cheek. She held his face and stroked it. “Honey, I don’t feel like you’re holding me back in any way... at all. If anything, I feel like I’m advancing in a relationship more than I ever have. I’m advancing in life but not in a bad way where I’m getting really old and... ugly and...”, she laughed.

“There is nothing ugly about you and there never could be even with age, you’ll always be beautiful.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Suck up. _But_ my _point was._ .. I don’t feel like I’m stuck in place. I feel like I’m moving forward and I’m glad it’s with you. And whenever I _do_ meet Jack, it’s not going to be an inconvenience for me or something I have to work around or _deal with... put up with_ . I honestly can’t wait to meet him... _whenever_ that is.”, she said.

“You amaze me everyday... how do you do that?”, he asked.

“Because I love you and it’s worth putting in an effort for this relationship.”, she said. 

“I love you too.”, he said, kissing her one more time before rolling out of bed. “Come on. Why don’t we go so we can get back here and relax before meeting up with JJ and Will tonight?”, he said.

“Alright but I’m taking a shower first.”, she said.

“I think I’ll join you.”, he smirked.

“Better hurry up.”, she said walking into the bathroom.

  
  


After a few hours of being out, going from apartment to apartment and stopping to get lunch in between, Hotch and Emily found a place they really liked. They walked around in it for a while and went into the bedroom. Hotch wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek. 

“What do you think? Can you imagine living here? We could put the bed up against the wall facing that way and and the night tables there next to it on each side. We could put the dresser against this wall. Look, there’s even a window in here. We can get some different curtains but that might be kind of nice. It opens so we could get some fresh air flowing in whenever we want.”, he said.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

Without letting go of her, they walked out into the living room area. “Over there, against that wall, could be where we put the tv. Right here where we’re standing, could be the couch and a coffee table right in front...”, he said.

“What about a bookcase over there?”, she pointed to a wall. 

“I like that a lot.”, he smiled wide and squeezed her tighter, planting a kiss on her cheek again. 

  
  


After they left, they drove back to his house and went upstairs. They both fell on the bed, exhausted from the day so far.

“I don’t know about you but I’m taking a nap.”, Emily said, stripping off all her clothes except her underwear and grabbed one of his large t-shirts to throw on before she got in bed. “Are you gonna get in bed?”, she asked Hotch. 

“Gladly.”, he sighed, stripping off his own clothes except his boxers. Right as he got in bed, his phone rang. “It’s fine, I’m not annoyed. Unless it’s JJ.”, he said, making her laugh. “Oh. Uh- it’s Haley... I’m gonna go take this downstairs if that’s alright.”, he said, getting up.

“Yeah, go for it.”, she said.

He answered the phone and walked downstairs, sitting on the couch. “Hey.”, he said.

“Hey, I just wanted to call and see how the apartment searching went.”, she said.

“Actually... I found a place already.”, he said.

“Wow. That’s great. Um, when are you moving in? Not that I’m trying to rush you or anything! I’m just wondering and I know Jack would love to finally be able to spend some more time with you.”, she said.

“I’m really looking forward to that too... I’ve missed him a lot. I’m just glad to be able to actually see him on a regular, set basis though when I _do_ move in. And that should be in just a few weeks, so you’ll be able to get the house then and our schedule with Jack started.”, he said.

“That’s soon. That’s not bad though. It’s a place that you like though? I hope you didn’t just settle for a place because-“, she started.

“No, no, of course I didn’t. I really do like it. Jack will have his own room, there’s a lot of space for him to play and a tv, it’s in a nice and safe area. I think he’ll like it.”, he said.

“Good. Listen, Aaron... I’m really sorry that-“, she started again.

“I know... I understand. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I’m really sorry I didn’t do better. You didn’t deserve any of that. You’re an amazing woman and I admire everything you did and still do for our family, whether some of it is split apart or not. And... you’ll always have a place in my heart. I’m not just throwing all those years away including our friendship and you’re the mother of my child. All of that means something to me. I’d never forget that or take it for granted.”, he said.

“I know... I agree. Thank you...”, she said. He could hear her sniffling and her voice crack at the end of her sentence. “I’ll let you go but if you wanna come by sometime this week and see Jack...”, she said.

“Definitely.”, he said.

“Great. I’ll talk to you later and... I’m glad you found a place you like.”, she said.

“Thanks... Have a good day and tell Jack I say _hi_.”, he said.

“I will. Bye.”, they hung up. 

Hotch took a moment before he went back upstairs and when he walked in the room, he saw Emily passed out. He smiled at the sight of how cute he thought she was. He thought it was adorable the way she slept sometimes like a cartoon character with her hands together under her head and curled up. He had never seen anyone in real life actually sleep like that and wondered how it could possibly be comfortable. 

He set an alarm on his phone for a few hours so they’d be up in time to go to dinner. He slipped in bed, trying not to make too much sound or movement that might wake her up. Once he was in and she was still asleep, he reached over and gave her a kiss on the forehead before laying flat on his back and falling asleep. 

Hotch woke up to the sound of Emily cursing coming from the bathroom. He checked his phone and the alarm hadn’t woken him up somehow but it was past the time that he had it set for. As confused as he was, he got out of bed right away and walked into the bathroom.

“Em, what’s wrong?”, he asked, turning the corner to find her running her hand under cold water. She looked over at him and he could see how pissed she was. “ _Emily_ .”, he put his hands on his hips, almost scolding her like she was a child. “What did you do _now?_ ”, he asked.

“I was trying to curl my hair and accidentally grabbed the wrong end of the curler.”, she said.

“Let me see it.”, he said, turning the sink off and taking her hand carefully. “Sweetie, you have got to be more careful. This isn’t good. It’s not awful but let’s go put some ice on it and I also have some neosporin in the bathroom.”, he said.

They walked downstairs to the kitchen and he got out an ice pack, wrapped it in a couple paper towels, and placed it on her hand slowly. “You’re not curling your hair tonight.”, he said.

“Aaron, I look like shit right now. I’m not going out to dinner like this. At least let me straighten it.”, she said.

“You look _beautiful_.”, he said.

“Shut up.”, she said.

“Alright, fine.”, he put his hands up. “Is it less dangerous than curling it?”, he asked, leaning over the counter. 

“Curling your hair isn’t dangerous.”, she laughed.

“For you _it is!_ ”, he said.

“Then I guess straightening it is _less_ dangerous than curling it.”, she said.

“Alright, fine.”, he said.

They walked back upstairs and put neosporin and a band aid on the burn before she started to straighten her hair with her good hand. 

“Aaron?”, she called him from the bathroom.

“Did you burn yourself again?”, he asked, walking in.

“No. _But_... this isn’t my dominant hand. I can’t get this area.”, she said. He grabbed the flat iron from her and took a piece of hair and started doing it for her. “Please don’t burn me.”, she said.

“I’ve done this before.”, he chuckled.

“Seriously? When? Why?”, she asked.

“Haley injured her arm before and we had a Thanksgiving dinner we were going to. I helped curl it actually so this is no problem.”, he said.

“Wow. A man of many talents.”, she laughed.

“You’ve only seen so many.”, he told her.

“Now I’m intrigued.”, she said. Once he was finished with her hair he gave her a mirror and she checked the back. “Are you sure you only did this once? You got the back better than _I_ can usually.”, she said.

“Yep. Alright let’s go. I’m glad you did your makeup _before_ you burned your hand because _that_ I’m not as good at.”, he said. 

They got dressed in jeans and matching converse again, while she wore a plain t-shirt and flannel and he wore a plain t-shirt and jacket. They showed up to a sushi restaurant to meet JJ and Will, seeing as how Hotch was paying, they ended up going with a place that was somewhat expensive.

“Did you lock the car?”, she asked.

“Um... I don’t know.”, he said.

“You did.”, she said as she kept walking to the entrance of the restaurant. 

“Wha- how do you know? Why did you ask me then?”, he said.

“I was testing your memory.”, she said, opening the door.

“My memory?”, he asked.

“To see if you remember that you’re buying tonight.”, she said as they walked in.

“You’re right... I _did_ forget about that.”, he frowned. They got a table for 4 and waited on JJ and Will. “You know what I just realized?”, he said, putting his arm around her.

“Hm?”, she asked, looking at the menu.

“I don’t think JJ has ever seen me outside of work clothes.”, he said.

“I would hope not.”, she said, looking up from the menu, giving him a stern look.

He laughed, “Don’t worry, hun. You’re the only one from work who has seen me out of my work clothes... whether it’s in a casual outfit or nothing at all...”, he raised his eyebrows. When she still glared at him, he held her chin, picking it up slightly and guiding their lips to each other’s. Their lips parted and he smiled at her with his face still up against hers when all of a sudden they heard JJ and Will’s voices, walking up to the table. 

They stood up and Emily walked over to give JJ and Will both a hug. Hotch shook Will’s hand but in a friendly way instead of professional this time and gave JJ a hug. It was a round table but Emily sat between Hotch and JJ and Will sat next to JJ, of course. 

“Oh, Hotch, how did the-“, JJ started but he cut her off. 

“JJ, at this point... you can call me by my first name. Besides, even _Will_ does.”, he said.

“That’s gonna take some getting used to.”, JJ chuckled.

“That’s what Emily said too at first.”, he said.

“Yeah, but I hadn’t worked with you as long as JJ has and we were making out when you told me that so...”, Emily laughed.

“Good point. Well... if you want to still call me _Hotch_ , that’s fine. But when we aren’t at work, _Aaron_ is okay too. Whatever you prefer.”, he said.

“Noted. So, how’d the apartment hunting go?”, JJ asked.

“We found a place today already.”, Hotch said.

“We?”, Will asked.

“Yeah.”, Hotch put his arm around Emily again. “Emily’s gonna move into the new place.”, he said, giving the side of her head a kiss. 

“Not right away. Still waiting for a little bit afterwards. There’s a couple... contributing factors to it...”, she said and Hotch could tell she was annoyed to keep reminding herself of it so he changed the topic.

“Yeah, but it won’t be long. I hear _you’re_ moving out here soon though, that’s exciting.”, Hotch said. 

Before Will could respond, JJ cut in. “Nice to see you showing some enthusiasm unlike this morning.”, she said. Will looked over at her confused. “I called them this morning and told Emily the news. Apparently, _Aaron_ here is not a morning person... on the weekends.”, she laughed.

“JJ’s just kind of an early bird. She wakes me up all the time when she calls. You really gotta stop doin’ that. It pisses people off.”, Will laughed.

“But it got him to pay for dinner so I think it’s fair enough.”, JJ smiled.

They eventually all ordered their food and once it came Hotch picked up his chopsticks and tried to grab a piece of his spicy yellow tail roll but it kept flopping over.

“Honey... do you need some help with that?”, Emily asked.

“No, I’ve got it. Besides, your hand...”, he said, trying again but failing.

She tried not to laugh but a little bit came out. “Hold on. Don’t touch it.”, she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. She rolled up a piece of paper from the straws and stuck it in between the chopsticks at the top. She grabbed a hair tie from her wrist and tied it around the chopsticks and handed it to him. 

“What’s this?”, he asked.

“You can use them now.”, she said.

“Em, this is like the ones they give children at Panda Express.”, he said, holding it and staring at her.

“Okay, fine. Use your hands then.”, she said, looking over at Will and JJ laughing. She picked up her chopsticks and ate a couple rolls. She felt Hotch’s eyes on her. “What?”, she looked over at him.

“How did you learn to use them so well?”, he asked.

“It’s not hard... but I also grew up all over the world, had different food in different places, been around different cultures. You pick up some things.”, she said.

“Uh huh like what else?”, he said.

“You already knew this but I speak 6 languages other than English.”, she said, taking another bite of her roll.

“I knew you spoke Spanish and Arabic... but _6?_ ”, he asked.

“How do you not know that about me...?”, she eyed him.

“I’m sorry. Tell me _now_.”, he said.

“Arabic, Spanish, French, Italian, a little bit of Russian, and Greek.”, she said.

“I think I love you even more.”, he said, looking impressed. “Teach me.”, he said, pulling off the hair tie from his chopsticks and holding them regularly. 

Once they were done and got the check, Hotch pulled out his card and their waiter took it. While they waited, they were enjoying a nice conversation until Hotch and JJ’s phones went off. Emily and Will looked at each other, both knowing what that meant. 

“I’m sorry, Honey. I’ll be right back.”, Hotch gave Emily a quick kiss before getting up and taking his phone call along with JJ doing the same for Will and following Hotch out. Leaving Emily and Will at the table, they sighed and looked at each other. 

“So how many times has this happened whenever you’re out here?”, Emily asked Will.

“Too many, I’m afraid.”, he laughed. 

“Well at least you’re moving here soon, right?”, she said.

“I’ve wanted to for a little bit but I didn’t want to say anythin’ for a while. It’ll be a nice change though and I’ll get to be around JJ more so everythin’ seems to be fallin’ into place so far I guess.”, he said.

“That’s really great. I’m happy for you guys.”, she smiled.

“Buuut somethin’s botherin’ _you_... What’s goin’ on?”, he asked. She rolled her lips in and looked down. “It doesn’t take a profiler to see that you obviously felt somethin’ different than what Aaron was sayin’ about you movin’ in with him.”

“I just... want to be able to move in with him already. He had me come with him to look at places to see what _I_ liked. He found a place and I love it too but... he keeps calling it _our_ place and it just doesn’t feel right saying that if it isn’t yet.”, she said.

“Because you guys haven’t moved in there yet?”, he asked.

“No... because I don’t know when _I’ll_ be able to move in... I haven’t met Jack yet and Haley doesn’t know about us yet. It would seem kind of soon to her. But it’s not for _us_ . I don’t know how much JJ has told you or not but... Aaron and I have been _involved_ for over a year. But we only just got together a couple months ago or so... _officially_.”, she said.

“He was married, huh?”, he said but not in a judgmental way, more just listening and calm.

She rolled her lips in again and sighed. “Yeah.”, she said.

“How long was all of that happening?”, he asked.

“She just left a couple months ago. Aaron and I... things started like I said, over a year ago. It’s been really on and off. We were never in a relationship. We tried to stay away from each other but just... kept coming back to one another. And then he told me he loved me and then he got shot the next day. Once he was recovering at home, I didn’t see him for a few months. I just spoke to him and it all felt very distant which really sucked because _he told me he loved me_ and right after that we weren’t even seeing each other... it was weird. But there was a case right when he came back and after that, he came home and Haley had left. I came over that night and we’ve barely spent a night apart since.”, she shrugged her shoulders.

“So for you guys, it feels way overdue to move in and other things but Haley wouldn’t understand because she doesn’t know that it’s really been that long.”, Will said, sorting it all out.

“Yep. So it’s just frustrating we have to pretend like it’s all new and... I’m sorry, it’s just... I feel like I can’t talk to him about that. I kind of have but... I don’t want him to think that he’s upset me or that I’m upset about having to wait because I respect their comfort zone with Jack because he’ll be there and- it’s just- it _sucks_.”, she said. 

Will reached over and held her hand. “It’s alright. It’ll work itself out. You guys love each other. You waited long enough to be together, this is just one more thing to wait for because after that, it’ll open up a lot of doors and you won’t have to wait anymore for a lot of stuff.”, he said.

“You better stick with JJ. She needs someone like you.”, Emily smiled.

JJ and Hotch walked back in and gave them apologetic looks. Hotch walked over to Emily as the waiter came back with his card at the perfect time. “We have a case, don’t we?”, she asked. 

“I’m sorry, hun.”, he said, helping her up. 

“It’s fine. At least I get to go _with_ you. I just feel bad for Will.”, she said. 

“It’s alright, you can stay at my place as long as you want until you fly back.”, JJ said. 

“This’ll all be done soon, right?”, Will tried to lighten the mood but obviously upset. 

Hotch left a tip and they all walked out to their cars together. “Will, it was good to see you even for the brief amount of time that we had tonight but I’ll take you guys out again once you’re moved out.”, Hotch said.

“That sounds good, I’ll see you guys later.”, Will said, giving Emily and Hotch a hug before getting in the car. 

“JJ, we’ll just see you back at the BAU.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, drive safe.”, she said, getting into the car with Will.

Hotch guided Emily over to his car with his hand on her back as she leaned into his side. “You have your go-bag at my house?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she sighed, getting into the car while he got in the driver’s seat.

He stopped before he turned the car on and looked over at her staring out the window. “Em... what’s wrong?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, she said quietly, leaning her head against the window.

“Em...”, he said.

“It’s fine, really. Thank you for dinner.”, she said.

“Honey, _what’s wrong?_ ”, he asked.

When she didn’t answer, he reached over and turned her face gently to look at him. He saw a tear on her cheek but she wasn’t sniffling or seemed to be crying. 

“Em...”, he whispered, wiping the tear away with his thumb, holding her face. 

“I just hate waiting for everything.”, she said.

“Is this about the apartment?”, he asked.

“We already had to wait a year to be together... and now not knowing how long it’ll be till we can live together even though we know we want to... it’s just frustrating. But we can’t do anything about it, alright? So... let’s just go. Please.”, she said.

“I want to talk about this later. But for now... I’ll let it go... we’ll go grab our bags, okay?”, he said.

She nodded and started to face back towards the window but he brought her back to him and leaned over to give her a kiss before starting the car. 

“I love you, hun.”, he said.

“I know...”, she said, leaning against and looking out the window again. “I love you too.”, she sighed.

  
  



	56. Moving In and Meeting Jack

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 56**

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A little over a month later, Hotch was moved into his new apartment and Emily had a drawer. She was feeling better and more content with the living situation for the time being. Hotch kept telling her it would be soon enough he would talk to Haley but he hadn’t yet, but he was about to.

Hotch was lifting the tv, bringing it inside the new place while Emily sat on the couch, reading the copy of “ _The Catcher In The Rye_ ” that he had gotten her for her birthday.

“Oh _nooo_. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’ve totally got it.”, he said, struggling to bring it in the living room.

“Good, honey. I’m glad.”, she said, flipping a page. 

He finally set it down against the wall across from the couch, trying to catch his breath.

“Em... are you even listening to me?”, he asked.

“I think it looks great over there.”, she said.

“Em!”, he said again.

“What?!”, she snapped.

“Could you maybe help me with a couple things instead of watching me struggle?”, he asked.

“I’m not watching you struggle. I’m reading my book.”, she said, holding it up and giggling.

“Cute. _Real_ cute.”, he said sarcastically. “You can read it later though. Come help me.”, he said.

“ _Fine_.”, she said, setting the book down and standing up. He went to put his arm around her but as soon as he did, she pushed back.

“What was _that?!_ ”, he asked.

“You smell, babe.”, she said.

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t if somebody had been helping me sooner.”, he raised an eyebrow.

“I’m helping you _now!_ ”, she said, walking out the door. 

He rolled his eyes and followed her out to his car with the last of his things. Once they got down to his car they each grabbed a box, leaving none left. While they were heading upstairs, his cell phone rang. He rushed inside to set the box down and answered the phone.

“Haley, hi, what’s uh- what’s going on?”, he asked.

“Are you alright?”, she asked.

“Just brought up some of the last boxes, a little out of breath.”, he said.

“Oh, well, I hate to break it to you but you forgot a couple here at the house. That’s why I was calling actually.”, she said.

“Ahh. Okay, can I come by now to grab them?”, he asked.

“Sure.”, she said.

“Great, I’ll head over in a few minutes.”, he said, hanging up.

He walked over to Emily who was unpacking a box and putting some books on the bookshelf. “Hey, apparently I left a couple boxes at the house. I was gonna go grab those now. If you want, you can stay here till I’m back. It shouldn’t take long.”, he said.

“Alright, I’ll hangout here. Maybe finish unpacking some things or finish my book. Can’t decide which one.”, she said.

“How about unpacking? Seeing as I actually need help with that.”, he said.

“Fine. I guess I can do that.”, she said in a snooty tone, reaching down to grab more books from the box.

“Alright. I’ll be back really soon. Please help unpack instead of being lazy. We’ll have lots of time to do that later on.”, he said, starting to leave.

“Wait!”, she stood up and crossed her arms.

He looked back at her from the door and stood there. “What?”, he asked.

“You didn’t give me a hug or kiss goodbye.”, she said.

“You told me I smell.”, he said, walking back over to her.

“ _So?_ ”, she asked.

“Honey...”, he said, spreading her arms out straight and releasing them to wrap their arms around each other. “You told me I smell. I was trying not to get the sweatiness all over you but if you really want a hug and kiss goodbye...”, he said, hugging her by her neck and shoulders, both of them squirming around.

“Okay, okay, you’re right! Ugh get off, you reek!”, she giggled.

“How about that kiss though?”, he asked, pulling his arms off of her.

“ _That_ , I will not object to.”, she smiled, holding his face and bringing it down to kiss her. 

“Mmm okay I have to go. I love you, I’ll be back.”, he said, heading towards the door.

“Hurry back before all the bubble wrap is popped!”, she said, kneeling down again.

“ _Emily_... don’t pop all the bubble wrap.”, he warned.

She stood up with her hands behind her back casually. “Don’t be back too late then!”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he said again, in a stern tone.

“ _Fine!_ I won’t pop _all_ of it.”, she said.

He gave her a look and knew she was hiding something. He started walking towards her and she scooted back and started turning around. “ _Emily!_ ”, he stopped. “What’s behind your back?”, he asked.

“Nothing!”, she said and all of a sudden, he heard a pop.

“Emily, give me that!”, he said, reaching around for it and taking a few pieces of bubble wrap from her hands. 

“Fine. Whatever. Take it and go.”, she waved her hand, crouching back down to the boxes.

He just laughed and threw the bubble wrap at her. “Go for it.”, he said.

“Okay, leave already so you can come back.”, she said.

“Alright, alright. I love you. Be back soon.”, he said, walking out the door.

  
  


He pulled up in the driveway at _now_ Haley’s house and knocked on the door. It felt weird to knock on the door of what still felt like his own house. Haley opened it up and let him in.

“Here. I figured you’d better have this back now.”, he said, handing her a key to the house. 

“Oh, no. Hold on to that. It might be a good idea if you have a spare key for here just in case of anything.”, she said.

“Alright.”, he said, putting it back in his pocket.

“Whew. You weren’t kidding. Those boxes must’ve been heavy. You kinda smell.”, she laughed. 

“Oh, trust me. _I know_.”, he laughed.

“So I brought your boxes down here. There’s only 2 but let me help you.”, she said grabbing one.

“Thanks, you don’t have to do that though.”, he said, walking out the door and opening the trunk to his car, both of them setting them down. “Was there anything else I forgot?”, he asked.

“No but... I did want to talk to you about something...”, she said. 

“Alright...”, he closed the trunk and crossed his arms, leaning against the back of the car.

“I started seeing someone.”, she said.

“Oh.”, he said surprised.

“I just wanted to let you know because I’d like for him to be able to come over for dinners sometimes or just to the house and I want him to meet Jack... but I don’t want to do anything without talking to you first.”, she said. He started to laugh quietly and she got confused. “I’m sorry... that’s probably awkward...”, she said.

“It’s fine, really. I’m- I’m sorry, it’s not that I find _that_ funny it’s just... I’ve been seeing someone too and wanted to talk to _you_ about it as well.”, he said.

“Oh. Wow. That’s...”, she let out a half laugh, “Wow. Um, how long have you been seeing her?”, she asked.

“A couple months I guess... but... this is going to be even more awkward.”, he took a deep breath. “I want her to move in with me...”, he said.

“ _Move in with you?_ That’s- that’s really soon...”, she said.

“I know it seems like that but... it doesn’t feel like it? I’m just... very sure about this... I can’t really explain why or how but...”, he said.

“Okay... I understand, I mean... that’s your choice.”, she said.

“I’m telling you this because I want to know if it’s okay with you.”, he said.

“Aaron... you don’t need my blessing or anything for that. I shouldn’t really give my opinion on it, _that_ would be kind of awkward.”, she said.

“No, that’s not- I mean because of Jack. If she’s living with me at the new place... Jack would be around her. If that makes you uncomfortable, I won’t have her move in. But I _would_ like it if Jack could maybe meet her...”, he said.

Haley was looking down and nodding her head. She rolled her lips in and looked up at him. “Um... what’s her name?”, she asked.

“Emily.”, he told her, trying to read her.

“Okay... it’s- it’s your decision if you want her to live with you or not. Jack’s only with you on weekends anyways so maybe that’s a good thing if she’s living there... slowly easing into that. Having him get used to another female adult living with you... I didn’t expect you to be single forever. I knew this would eventually happen... So... could I maybe be there when he meets her?”, she asked, uncomfortably but understanding at the same time.

“Really?... Yeah, of course. I was going to suggest that anyways. It might be good for you to meet her so you know her in case of anything happening or... whatever, I don’t know...”, he said.

“Where’d you meet her?”, she asked.

“Work...”, he said.

“She works at the BAU?”, she asked, shocked.

“Yeah, she’s an agent well obviously a profiler- yes.”, he said.

“Wait... _Emily_. I think I’ve heard you mention her before when you talked about work.”, she said.

“Probably.”, he said.

“You don’t just ask someone to move in with you after 2 months... Did you... have feelings for her before?”, she asked. She looked at him and he brought his head up and stared at her and looked off to the side. “Aaron...”, she said.

“Yes...”, he said, looking back at her. She nodded her head and was silent for a minute. “Haley... I-“, he started. 

“It’s... it’s fine. So it’s serious...”, she said.

“Yes.”, he decided to be as honest as he could without revealing too much of how they got started. 

“Okay... okay, when are you guys free? I can bring Jack by the apartment and we can... meet her and he can see his new room?”, she said.

“Yeah, of course. Um, is tomorrow too-“, he started.

“Tomorrow is fine.”, she said.

“Okay. Good. And... I’m fine with Jack meeting...”, he said, waiting for her to say the man’s name that she’s seeing.

“Tom.”, she said.

“Tom. But if I could be there as well...”, he said.

“That’s more than okay.”, she said.

“Great...”, he said.

They both stared at each other until he stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her. She brought hers tight around him and he could hear her sniffle. He couldn’t help but let a couple tears fall as well.

“I’m sorry. I know we signed the papers already but this just feels so final. It’s weird. And really...”, she said.

“I know. Don’t be sorry. I’m in the same boat.”, he said.

“I’m glad you’re happy.”, she said.

“It brings me peace to see you feel the same. I never wanted you to be hurt. I’m really sorry that ended up happening but... I hope you’re happier now... you definitely seem like it.”, he said.

“You too.”, she said, squeezing him tighter.

“Haley, what we had was more than just being in love... we had a friendship and for a long time. I hope that doesn’t go away.”, he said.

“It won’t. We have a son together and you were my best friend for years. I don’t want to give that up just because we had something else that didn’t end up working out in the long run.”, she said.

“Good. Neither do I.”, he said.

They stayed there for another minute before she pulled back and wiped a couple tears from her face and smiled. He didn’t want her to see him breaking down so he wiped his own off quick. 

“I’m glad we could have this talk and that things are actually... alright, all things considered.”, she said.

“You have no idea what a relief it is.”, he said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”, she smiled.

“Alright... maybe pack some of Jack’s toys. I got a couple things for him already but he might want a few more to play around with tomorrow.”, he said.

“I will. Drive safe.”, she said.

He stood still and smiled before he waved and got in his car to drive back to his apartment.

  
  


When he got back to his new place, he walked inside to find all the boxes finally emptied and everything put away. He couldn’t help but smile and wanted to jump with joy, now knowing Emily could finally move in. 

“Hey, Em?”, he asked, walking into the bedroom to find her in bed, sitting up against the headboard, reading. 

She looked up at him and said, “I _swear_ I unpacked everything.”

“I can see that. Thank you. Um... but...”, he said.

“What?”, she asked, nervous of what he was about to say, seeing as he was acting like it wouldn’t be _good_ news.

“You have to move your stuff out of your drawer...”, he said.

“What? Why?”, she asked, worried.

“My girlfriend is moving in this week and I kind of need to make some room for her...”, he said.

She put her book down and looked over at him carefully, getting out of the bed and walking over towards him. “ _What?_ ”, letting a smile start to show. 

“Yeah, maybe you could move it in the closet or something. It’s just... she needs some space for her clothes and _maybe even_ more than a drawer actually… if she’s going to be living here and...”, he could tell by the look on her face, she was dying for him to say the words already. “I’m sorry, I can’t keep it up.”, he laughed. “Emily, do you want to move in with me now?”, he asked with a smile. 

“You talked to Haley?!”, she asked, grabbing his arms, holding in so much excitement, looking like she was about to explode.

“Yes and if you’re ready you can move in with me now.”, he said.

“ _Seriously?!_ ”, she said.

“ _Seriously!_ ”, he told her.

“Yes, of course I’ll move in with you! Why’d you have to drag it out for so long!”, she practically yelled.

“To see your reaction like this.”, he smiled.

“I love you so much!”, she said, grabbing his face and crashing her lips on to his.

“Mmm. I love you too, hun.”, he said. “Also... how do you feel about meeting Jack tomorrow?”, he asked.

“I’d love to.”, she smiled, bringing him back in for another kiss, pulling him towards the bed without having their lips break contact. She backed up till her legs hit the foot of the bed and he picked her up, throwing himself on top of her in the middle of the bed.

She went straight for his shirt, fast and ran her hands up his abs to his chest and held on to the back of his neck. He stared deep in her in her eyes as they both smiled at each other.

“This is real? This is finally happening?”, she asked.

“Yes. It’s definitely real.”, he said.

“And I actually get to meet Jack.”, she said.

“Yes. And he’s going to love you... as much as a 2 year old knows how to.”, he said, making them both laugh. 

“I’m so excited. For all of this. It’s just-“, she said, starting to tear up.

He put his hand on her face and looked at her lovingly. “I’m so happy we’re doing this. I feel like...”, he stopped.

“Like what?”, she asked.

“I feel like we’re finally starting a life together...”, he said, stroking her hair.

She didn’t feel like she could speak without starting to cry. All the feelings were so overwhelming and she couldn’t sort through them all in that moment. So instead, she smiled at him and pulled his head down, melting into one another. “Me too.”, she said, running her hand along his face before they shed the rest of their clothes.

The next morning they woke up in bed together, wrapped in each other’s arms. While Emily was still asleep, he decided to wake her up in her favorite way. He started placing gentle kisses along her neck and shoulder, tracing her skin with a delicate touch on her back and up her arms. With his face buried in her neck, he heard her wake up. 

“Mmmmm. _Hi_.”, she said sweetly.

“ _Good morning_.”, he smiled on her neck, kissing her all the way up to her lips.

“I love waking up to that.”, she smiled.

“I know and now you get to every morning no matter what.”, he said.

“I’ve gotta do something about my apartment...”, she said.

“We’ll take care of that later but for now, why don’t we take a shower.”, he said kissing her and starting to get up. She pulled him back down and held onto him.

“I’m kind of nervous for today.”, she said.

“Don’t be. Jack is just going to want to play with his toys mainly, maybe you can play with him if you want but he gets distracted pretty easily.”, he chuckled.

“What about Haley?”, she asked.

“I forgot to tell you this but... apparently she started seeing someone too.”, he said.

“ _Seriously?_ ”, she asked.

“Yeah, I was just as shocked as you are. But I think it’s good she met somebody that makes her happy. Just like you make _me_ happy and we had a nice moment and overall... she’s happy _I’m_ happy. I know it might be a bit weird but... you might get along with her.”, he said.

“You don’t think she’ll hate me?”, she asked.

“If you were some dumb, 25 year old who I was just screwing, then sure, she’d probably hate you but you’re not at all.”, he laughed.

“I mean... I _am_ younger than you.”, she said.

“But not _that_ much younger.”, he said.

“You don’t think she’s gonna see 7 years as being a little more than-”, she started.

“Sweetie, she doesn’t know how old you are, she’s not going to ask and even if she did, I don’t think she’d have a problem with it. You’re not even 10 years younger than me. You’re _fine._ Now come on, let's take a shower.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said.

  
  


A few hours later when they were getting ready for Jack and Haley to come over, she stopped. “Oh my god. I wanted to make something.”, she said, becoming frantic.

“You wanted to _make something?_ ”, he asked.

“Yeah, like some little food things or like even a thing of iced tea or whatever.”, she said.

“I don’t even have everything set up in the kitchen yet anyways. Just calm down...”, he said.

“No, we should get something. I’ll go to the store and grab something. Maybe Jack’s favorite snacks or like juice or something? Or something Haley likes... like um...”, she was trying to think. 

“Honey...”, Hotch said, reaching for her hands. “It’s okay. I have some goldfish and apple juice in the fridge for Jack and for Haley... sure... we can make some iced tea if you want.”, he said. 

“Wait... you never told me what she said when you brought this up.”, she said.

“She thought it was soon. I told her I can’t explain it but I was very sure about it. She brought up how you don’t just ask someone to move in with you after 2 months and that’s when... she asked if I had feelings for you before.”, he said.

“And what did you say?”, she asked, suddenly feeling really anxious.

“I told her _yes_ . It would seem less _weird_ for us to move in if she knew we actually have feelings for each other and have for a while. That way, she doesn’t think I’m just being reckless by having some random girl I’ve only been dating for a couple months, move in. I’m not gonna tell her absolutely every detail but I told her that since she asked, yeah.”, he said.

“Oh my _god!_ She is going to _hate_ me!”, she said, pacing the room and flailing her hands all around.

“Sweetie, hey, listen to me.”, he said reaching for her hands and pulling her into a hug. “It’s okay. Okay? She is not going to hate you. This is a super casual thing, alright? Besides, I’m meeting her boyfriend or whatever he is, later on because she wants him to meet Jack too. That was brought up before _you_. So we are going to be as nice to each other as possible and it’s fine because we’re actually on a good page right now.”, he said. 

“Okay... Okay... Iced tea.”, she said.

After they made some iced tea and set up some toys for Jack to play with, they heard a tiny knock on the door. 

“That’s probably Jack.”, he laughed, giving her a kiss on the cheek and walking to the door while she stayed by the kitchen area pulling out some glasses.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, running up to him. Hotch picked him up in his arms and let Haley in with him. “I knocked.”, Jack said.

“I know buddy, I heard you. Hey, I got some toys for you. Did you bring any from mommy’s house?”, Hotch asked and Jack nodded. “Before we play with any of them, I want you to meet a special friend of mine. Her name is _Emily_ .”, Hotch said as she walked out. Still holding Jack, Hotch said, “Can you say _hi_ to her?”

“Hi.”, Jack said, putting up his hand almost as if he were about to wave but didn’t.

“Hey, Jack. Wow! Cool train!”, Emily said, pointing to the toy train in his hands.

He started squirming and Hotch put him down. He walked up to Emily who crouched down, still holding the train. “Wanna play?”, he asked.

Before she could answer, Hotch bent down too and said, “I think we’re all going to talk for a little but I’ll play with you in a minute. Maybe soon if she wants to, she can.” 

Jack looked at Emily and she nodded with a big smile on her face. “Maybe when you’re done playing with your daddy, we can.”, she said.

Without saying anything else, he ran over to where the toys were across the room and entertained himself right away.

“He just had a couple cookies so he might have a sugar crash soon.”, Haley laughed.

“I’ve got some apple juice for him and goldfish so if he wants any snacks...”, Hotch said, standing up at the same time as Emily.

“I’m sure he will.”, Haley said.

“Oh, um, Haley, Emily. Emily, Haley.”, he introduced them.

“Hi, it’s _really_ nice to meet you.”, Emily smiled, shaking Haley’s hand.

“You too.”, Haley said with a smile bigger than Emily expected.

“I made some iced tea if you want any or just water...”, Emily said.

“Oh yeah, an iced tea would be great. Thank you.”, Haley said. 

Emily walked into the kitchen area and got some ice cubes to put in the drink.

“Let me give you a full tour. It’s not huge but...”, Hotch said, showing Haley around. “Here’s the main bedroom, there’s a bathroom in it, then Jack’s is over here and the other bathroom is just a few feet from his room so that’s perfect for him. You obviously saw the kitchen, and here the living room. Complete tour.”, Hotch said.

“It’s really nice. It looks like you’ve got everything moved in now.”, she said.

“Yeah. It was kind of a lot but Emily really helped out. When she wasn’t popping the bubble wrap.”, he said, raising his eyebrows at her as she walked over with some iced tea for Haley and Hotch. 

“Thank you.”, Haley said, taking the glass from Emily and sipping on it.

“Okay but how do you _not_ want to pop bubble wrap?”, Emily said.

“You know what, Aaron? I’m with her on this one.”, Haley said.

“Wha- okay, wow. Nobody ever sides with me.”, he said.

At the same time Haley and Emily said, “Mmmmm that’s so not true.”, both laughing.

They moved over to sit on the couch while Hotch sat on the ground, playing with Jack but still paying attention and engaging in the conversation.

“When does anybody ever side with me?”, he asked.

“How about anybody at work? I’ve seen them around you. I’m not a profiler but I can tell all they want is your approval and will do whatever it takes.”, Haley said.

“Yeah, pretty much. I mean, people are scared of you sometimes. They don’t want to get on your bad side.”, Emily said.

“That’s true! Spencer even told me that before.”, Haley said.

“Oh he’s just scared of everybody.”, Emily said, both her and Haley laughing.

“I’m not scary.”, Hotch said, almost upset.

“You literally almost fought a serial killer in an interrogation room at a prison. With no guards or weapons nearby. And you weren’t even phased at all. _In fact_ , I remember Spencer telling me he wasn’t sure who he was scared of more in that moment, you or Chester.”, Emily said.

“Wait, he did _what?!_ ”, Haley asked Emily.

“Um, I’m right here. Why are you asking _her?_ She wasn’t even there.”, he said.

“Because I don’t think you’ll give me all the details.”, Haley said.

“Yeah, so, I was out on another case with Derek and JJ and Rossi who I don’t know if you’ve met but he took Gideon’s place. He was one of the originals at the BAU, he retired and came back. Anyways... I was out on a case with them in Indianapolis and then I heard this story from Spencer. _Apparently_ , this serial killer they went to talk to in prison knew the schedule for shift changes so he was in there during a time that they were outside and switching over. He threatened to... you know... get back to his old tricks with Aaron and Spencer. Well, having to be the big macho man who isn’t afraid of anything, Aaron decided to take his suit jacket and tie off and got ready to fight this guy.”, Emily said. 

Haley gasped and looked over at him. “Aaron. Why would you do that?”, she laughed. 

“He was literally going to try and K-I-L-L us.”, he spelled out. 

“Yeah but you _literally_ provoked him.”, Emily said.

“I can’t win with anyone. At least people at work respect me, right?”, he asked.

“Yeah, of course. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t. Just some people that are intimidated by you which is... well, everyone, except me. Actually, that’s not true. He’s yelled at me a few times.”, Emily said.

“No, I haven’t! When?”, he said.

“I don’t know. But I know you have.”, Emily said.

“That’s not really a good answer.”, he said.

“Daddy. Potty.”, Jack tugged on his shirt.

“I’ll be right back. But whatever either one of you says to the other about me... it’s not true.”, he said to the girls, taking Jack to the bathroom.

“So...”, Haley said.

“Sooo...”, Emily said.

“Listen, I know this is probably awkward for both of us. I don’t know about you but I was a little nervous. But, I’m already enjoying this surprisingly enough.”, Haley said.

“Oh good! Not the nervous or awkward part but that I wasn’t the only one. He talks about you and Jack a lot and how great of a mom you are and I just felt like you might hate me.”, Emily nervously laughed.

  
  


“No, not at all. It’s a bit strange I guess but like I said, this is nice already, hanging out, talking with you guys. I just really wanted to be on a good note with him and whoever eventually came into his life, especially for Jack’s sake.”, Haley said.

“I totally understand and I agree. I know it probably seems really soon but-“, Emily started.

“It’s fine, really. His life, his decisions. But you seem to make him happy and I think he really needs that, so I’m glad about that. You guys act like you’ve known each other a long time, it’s weird.”, Haley said.

“Oh, well, actually we _have_. I’m sure you remember his first command. It was security clearance.”, Emily said.

“Oh, yeah. For an ambassador, right?”, Haley asked.

“Yep. That was actually my mother.”, Emily laughed.

“Really?’”, Haley said.

“Yeah, so I didn’t know him extremely well but I knew him. At a certain point, I was headed off to college though and was gone for a while obviously.”, Emily said.

“Wow. That’s really- wow. Where did you go to school?”, Haley asked.

“Yale.”, Emily said.

“Wow. Where were you working before the BAU?”, Haley asked.

“Interpol and then the FBI.”, Emily said.

“You worked for Interpol?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah. It was... a tough job to say the least. I don’t know if I could go back. Not that this one now isn’t but it was very... different.”, Emily said.

“You must have a lot of great stories though...”, Haley said.

“Not many I can actually talk about. Security issues, confidential reports with cases, it’s just a lot.”, Emily said.

“Makes sense. So how do you like it at the BAU though?”, Haley asked.

“I love it. I feel like I actually belong there. I did good work at my other jobs but it feels better here. It’s a lot more rewarding and I actually feel like I’m doing something that helps save more lives here. And profiling is a challenge but it’s so interesting, the whole method you use to go about doing it on a real criminal is just...”, Emily shrugged her shoulders.

“Trust me, I know.”, Haley said.

“Right... I’m sorry, I’m going on and on about me and my work. What about you?”, Emily asked.

“No, you’re fine. I really am just trying to be a stay at home mom for a while I think. It’s just easier for Jack and especially with Aaron’s work schedule and only being able to consistently be available on weekends, if I can give all my time and focus to Jack... I try.”, Haley said.

“That’s really admirable. And Jack... he’s adorable. I mean _really_.”, Emily said.

“Thank you. He seems to have taken an interest in you pretty fast.”, Haley said.

“I’m glad. Kids don’t make me nervous. I love kids but I _was_ a little nervous to meet _him_.”, Emily laughed.

“I hope he didn’t scare you off too bad.”, Haley laughed.

“No, definitely not.”, Emily laughed again.

“Aaron was pretty nervous too when Jack was first born. He was nervous he was gonna be a bad father. He said he was scared but I think he was wrong.”, Haley said.

“From what I know, he’s a great dad. And he talks about how great of a mom you are. I think I may have mentioned that already and I’m not trying to suck up to you but it’s the truth.”, Emily said.

“Thank you. _Really_. This one time, Aaron...”, Haley started to tell Emily a story when a minute later, Jack and Hotch came out of the bathroom and saw Haley and Emily laughing.

“What’d I miss?”, he asked, confused. Jack ran back over to his toys and continued to play with them. Hotch sat back down in his spot on the ground and looked at them staring at him. “What?”, he asked. They looked back at each other and started laughing. “ _What?!_ What is it? Are you seriously laughing at me?”, he asked.

“It’s not so much _at_ you as it is... _about_ you.”, Emily said.

“Don’t worry about it.”, Haley said, before they laughed again.

“I’ll get you back, just know that. Both of you.”, he said, eyeing them.

“Alright, good luck with that.”, Emily said.

Hotch sighed and Jack went over to him and whispered in his ear. He turned back to Jack and pretended to whisper in his ear as well but said it aloud more. “ _Emily_.”, Hotch told him and he nodded his head before walking over to her with a toy car.

“Emily.”, Jack said.

“Yes?“, she asked in her little kid voice.

“Wanna play?”, he asked.

“I’d love to.”, she said, setting her own iced tea down and walking over and sitting down with Jack to play with his toy car and trains and legos. Hotch looked at them for a minute before getting up to sit on the couch not too far yet not too close to Haley. 

“She’s good with him.”, Haley said.

“She’s good with kids.”, Hotch said.

“I like her.”, she said.

He looked over at her, shocked. “ _Really?”_ , he asked.

“Yeah. I actually like her a lot. I’m glad you have someone like that in your life. You look good. You look happy.”, she said.

“Overall, I am, yeah.”, he said. They both smiled at the sight of Jack laughing with Emily. “Thank you.”

“For what?”, she asked.

“For being so understanding. For being an amazing mother. For so many other things.”, he said.

“I’m in a similar position as you. Of course I understand. She really seems great, especially with Jack. I’m definitely fine with her being here every time he’s over so you can let her know that and that I don’t feel uncomfortable about it, knowing she’ll be living here... It’s a bit odd to think about but you have every right to be doing it so... yeah.”, she said.

“I’m sure that’s going to mean a lot to her. And I look forward to meeting... Tom?”, he checked.

“Good memory.”, she laughed.

“I’m really glad we’re all good.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she smiled.

“Mommy. Look!”, Jack pointed to some giant lego pieces he put together.

“Wow, sweetie. That looks really good.”, Haley said.

Jack looked back at Emily, smiling and she whispered, “I told you.”, putting her hand up and letting him slap it for a high five.

“Hey buddy, are you hungry? Do you want a snack?”, Hotch asked and Jack nodded his head, running after him when he got up to go to the kitchen. 

Emily got up and sat next to Haley on the couch again. “He is quite the character.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh, he _is!_ He seems to really like you.”, Haley said.

“Well, I like him too. He’s just so adorable. He’s really bright.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, he gets that part from Aaron.”, Haley laughed.

“No. I’m sure it comes from both of you. You guys are doing a really good job at raising him. Once again, it’s really admirable.”, Emily smiled.

“Thank you. It’s hard but definitely rewarding.”, Haley said.

They smiled at each other and struck up another conversation. An hour later after showing Jack his new room and playing some more, he started yawning and Haley could tell it was his nap time. “Hey sweetie, are you sleepy?”, she asked Jack. He rubbed his eyes and nodded his head. “Alright, let's go home and take a nap.”, she said. She walked over and to the table near the couch and grabbed her bag. 

Jack went up to Emily and she got off the couch and crouched down to his level. “Bye, Emily.”, he said, giving her a high five.

“Bye, Jack. Thanks for playing with me today.”, she smiled.

“Mmhmm.”, he nodded and walked over to Haley and she picked him up as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“Thank you for having us come over and playing with him. He really enjoyed it and I’m glad we could do this.”, Haley said to Emily.

“Me too. I look forward to seeing him again this weekend.”, Emily said.

“Yes, definitely.”, Haley said, walking to the door and Hotch opened it. He ruffled Jack’s hair and gave him a kiss on the head.

“I’ll you see this weekend, buddy, alright?”, he said. Jack nodded his head as his eyes started to close. “Alright, well, drive safe and... again... thank you.”, he said, giving Haley a hug. 

She smiled and looked over at Emily. “It was really nice to meet you, Emily. We’ll both see you guys soon.”, she said.

“Alright, bye Jack.”, Emily waved and he tried to wave back but was too sleepy. After they left and Hotch closed the door, he turned to Emily and pulled her into his arms, looking down at her and gave her a kiss.

“So?”, he asked.

“I love Jack. He’s the cutest thing ever.”, she laughed. “And you were right... Haley and I got along _really well._ ”, she said.

“She told me she actually liked you a lot. I was surprised but not because I thought she would hate you but it was just surprising to see you guys get along so well so fast.”, he said.

“I was surprised too.”, she said.

“She also told me that she feels a lot more comfortable now with you living here and being around whenever Jack comes over.”, he said.

“Oh thank god.”, she exhaled.

He smiled at her and brought his lips down to hers. “I love you so much.”, he told her.

“I love you too.”, she said.

“What do you say we go grab some of your things from your place and begin packing things up now? I can’t wait for you to be moved in any longer.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she smiled, giving him one last kiss before grabbing her shoes and walking out their apartment together.

  
  



	57. First Girls Night Out With Haley

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 57**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks after Emily had met Jack and Haley, they were all starting to feel more comfortable around each other. Hotch was glad that Haley and Emily were getting along but found it odd just how well they were doing with each other. 

It was a Saturday morning and Jack was staying at Hotch and Emily’s apartment just like he had started doing every weekend. They were making breakfast when Emily’s phone rang from the coffee table near where Jack was playing on the floor. She saw that it was Haley and was confused but picked it up.

“Hey, is everything alright?”, Emily asked.

“Hey, yeah, I hope I didn’t wake you.”, Haley said.

“No, we’ve been up for a little bit. Just making breakfast right now. Jack requested pancakes so.”, Emily laughed.

“Let me guess... chocolate chip ones?”, Haley asked.

“Oh, of course! Um, did you wanna say _hi_ to him or... were you trying to get ahold of Aaron because I think his phone is in the bedroom.”, Emily said.

“No, no it’s alright and... I actually wanted to call _you_.”, Haley said.

“Oh... Okay... What’s going on?”, Emily asked.

“Well... I had plans to go to this art opening with a friend tonight but she had to cancel.”, Haley said.

“Oh... I’m sorry...”, Emily said, not knowing what else to say.

“I don’t know if I want to go to it anymore but I haven’t been able to have a night out in a while and now that I have weekends available... I just- I was wondering if maybe you wanted to catch a movie or go get some food or something?”, Haley hesitated.

“Really?”, Emily asked, completely surprised.

“You know what... I’m sorry. That’s probably- you probably think that’s too weird. I shouldn’t have-“, Haley started.

“No, I’d love to. I haven’t really been able to do much of that either for a while. Especially not with a female. With work, it’s just crazy sometimes and I really only see Aaron and JJ outside of it. Sometimes Penelope joins us but other than that...”, Emily said.

“Okay. Great, um... I have no idea what to go do.”, Haley nervously laughed.

“Hmmm... oh. You know, there’s this cool coffee shop and I think they do some poetry slams or readings on weekends. I don’t know if you’re interested in those types of things or not...”, Emily said.

“I love going to those actually! I never would have thought of that. That sounds good.”, Haley said.

“Alright, well, do you wanna meet there around 6:00 or what time is good for you?”, Emily asked.

“6:00 is fine.”, Haley said.

“Alright, awesome. I’ll text you the address.”, Emily said.

“Okay, sounds good.”, Haley said.

“Alright, bye.”, Emily hung up. She stood in place for a moment, not believing what had just happened.

“Hey, Jack. Pancakes are ready.”, Hotch called out, serving one chocolate chip pancake on a plate for Jack and bringing it to him at the table. “Hey, you hungry?”, he asked Emily.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take a couple.”, she said, walking into the kitchen. She served herself 2 pancakes and grabbed the syrup for Jack before Hotch could get to it, making him smile and kiss her cheek.

“Hey, who was that on the phone?”, he asked, serving himself a couple pancakes as well. He walked over to the table with her, handing Jack the syrup, a fork, and a couple napkins. 

“Um, it was Haley.”, she said.

“Oh, did I not turn my phone on? Why didn’t she ask to talk to me? What did she want?”, he asked.

“Actually... she wanted to talk to _me_.”, Emily said.

“About what? Is everything alright between you guys?”, he asked.

“Yeah, in fact... she asked me to hangout tonight. I guess her friend cancelled on some plans tonight and doesn’t seem to have many other friends or none that are available at least.”, Emily said, taking a bite of her pancake. 

“I have milk?”, Jack asked.

“Yeah.”, Hotch started to get up.

“I got it.”, Emily said, going to grab a sippy cup and milk from the fridge, pouring some in the cup for Jack. She walked back over and gave it to him.

“Fanks.”, he said.

“You’re welcome.”, she smiled and ruffled his hair.

“So you and Haley are going out tonight.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah... is that weird?”, she asked.

“I don’t know. Does it feel weird for _you?_ ”, he asked.

“A little but not as much as I would’ve thought. We’ve gotten along really well so far.”, she said.

“Maybe it’ll be good.”, he said.

“We clicked right away, I was really surprised.”, she said.

“Well, I’m glad. You guys are probably the two most important women in my life. I’m glad things are... good.”, he said.

“Yeah. If this makes you uncomfortable-“, she started.

“No. I think it could be a really great thing. I also think... both of you need more friends. So... it could be really beneficial if you guys hung out.”, he said.

“I’m looking forward to it. We’re going to this coffee shop and there’s this poetry slam I think and yeah...”, she said.

“Daddy, I’m full.”, Jack said.

“Good job, you ate all your breakfast.”, Hotch said, walking over to Jack and taking his plate to the kitchen along with his own. “Did you want any more or anything else, hun?”, he asked Emily.

“No, I think I’m good. Thank you.”, she said.

Jack started trying to move around in his high chair and Emily went over to him. “Did you want down?”, she asked. Jack nodded his head and she picked him up, setting him on the ground. He ran to his room to change out of his pajamas. She smiled as she watched him run over. When she turned back around, she looked at Hotch leaning back against the counter with a soft smile on his face, staring at her with his arms crossed.

“What?”, she laughed.

“Nothing, it’s just nice. _This_ . Having you here, living here, not just staying the night. Having Jack here. Having you _and_ Jack here at the same time. It’s _nice_.”, he said.

She walked over to him and he uncrossed his arms, reaching out for her and grabbing her sides. She walked up to his chest and put her arms around his torso, pulling each other in for a kiss with a big smile on their faces.

“It _is_ pretty great.”, she grinned.

“I forgot to ask you. Have you ever moved in with someone you were in a relationship with?”, he asked.

_Ian Doyle,_ she thought. She wasn’t sure if she should be honest with him but she _did_ tell him a little bit about him before.

“Yeah, actually. Once. The guy I told you about before. The one your age, very complicated.”, she said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I trigger any... anxiety or stressor at all? I know last time it was because of him, right?”, he asked.

“No... you actually didn’t. I don’t know why but... I’m not feeling anything at all.”, she said, looking down, trying to figure out why.

“Really?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she looked back up at him with a smile.

“That’s good!”, he said.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve thought about him or that topic and haven’t felt anxious at all.”, she said.

“You’re not just telling me that, are you?”, he asked.

“No. I feel fine.”, she said, reaching up to give him a kiss.

He looked at her and brought his hand to her cheek, stroking it and kissed her nose. “You’re too cute.”, he smiled.

“I’m really lucky to have you. Thank you... for everything.”, she said.

“I _love_ you. That’s what I’m here for.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, giving him another kiss. “I’m not saying I want to at all or anything but I’m just wondering what you’re thinking about this... Are we ever going to tell the rest of the team about us?”, she asked.

“God, I don’t know... You’d think by now, living together and all, most people probably would. But I still feel like...”, he said.

“I don’t think we should. Not yet at least. I just don’t know when that _would_ be for when we _do_ tell everyone.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, I don’t know...”, he sighed.

“It’s okay.”, she said, holding his face. “It’s nice like this. At least JJ knows and we have a friend.”, she said.

He nodded and she kissed his cheek when all of a sudden, they heard something fall and break coming from Jack’s room. They broke apart and rushed in. Jack was standing over his broken piggy bank on the ground and holding his hand tight with a couple tears in his eyes. They both went up to him and crouched down.

“Hey buddy, what happened?”, Hotch asked sympathetically in his little kid voice while Emily rubbed his back and wiped a few little tears from his face. Hotch took his hand and saw a small cut on it.

“It broke.”, Jack pointed to his piggy bank. 

“Did you try to pick it up?”, Hotch asked and Jack just nodded with a pouty face.

“If that happens again, just come get me or Emily to clean it up so you don’t hurt yourself again, okay?”, Hotch said and Jack nodded again with a little sniffle. “Let’s get you a band-aid.”, he said looking back at the mess.

“I can do it.”, she said.

“Really?”, Hotch asked.

“Aaron, it’s just cleaning a little cut and putting a band-aid on. I’ve got it. Besides, you made us breakfast, I’ll do this. You can clean that up if you want but I don’t mind doing it after this either.”, she said.

“Alright, I’ll take care of this. Oh and the band aids are-“, he started.

“In the medicine cabinet, I know.”, she smiled, picking up Jack and walking to the bathroom closer to his room. She closed the lid to the toilet and sat him down on it.

“Oh, we actually have some with Bat-“, Hotch called out.

“With Batman on them. They’re his favorite, I know and _those_ are under the sink. I’ve _got it_.”, she laughed.

“ _Sorry_.”, he said sarcastically.

She grabbed the band aids and set them on the counter. She pulled Jack’s stepping stool up to the sink so he could wash his hands and set him back on the toilet after. “Does it hurt?”, she asked him, holding his hand.

“Ow.”, he said when she moved it and nodded his head, making her frown. 

“I’m sorry. Here. This’ll help.”, she said, putting the band aid over his cut. “Batman’s superpowers are gonna make the pain go away and you’ll feel all better soon, okay?”, she asked, wiping one more tear from his face. She was surprised at how quiet of a crier he was. He nodded and just sat there, looking down. She looked at him and felt so bad. His cute, little, pouty face with the puppy dog eyes made her heart melt. “Hey, what do you say we ask your daddy to take us out for ice cream later since you were so brave?”, she whispered. He looked up at her and smiled big, nodding his head. “Okay! Come on, let’s go ask him!”, she whispered.

Before she could help him down, he reached up for her, wanting her to pick him up. She grabbed him and propped him up on her side, carrying him into his room where Hotch was.

“Daddy!”, Jack said.

“Look who’s got a smile already.”, Hotch said.

“Jack has a very important question for you.”, she told him.

“Can we get...”, he looked at Emily and she nodded. “Ice cream?”, he asked.

“Ice cream, huh?”, Hotch asked, looking from Jack to Emily and raising an eyebrow. “Well... I don’t see why not. But not yet. We just had breakfast. Later this afternoon, okay?”, Hotch said and Jack smiled at Emily, bringing his hand that wasn’t cut, up and she gave him a high five. 

“Alright, well until then, what do you wanna do?”, she asked Jack.

“Legos!”, he said.

“Why don’t you go grab the bin and pour some out?”, she said, setting him down and he ran over to them.

She stepped over to Hotch, who was on the floor sweeping the tiny bits of glass left. She got down next to him and rubbed his back. He turned around and smiled at her.

“ _What?_ You keep giving me this look today. What is it?”, she asked.

“It’s just really sweet to see you with Jack like that. You know, you don’t have to do any of that.”, he said.

“I know but... I want to.”, she said, watching him smile even more at her. “Would you like to join us?”, she asked.

“Yes. I would.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “Let me just finish cleaning this up and I’ll be right out.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she stood up and walked over to Jack who was already starting to build a tower.

  
  


Later that night, Emily was getting ready to go out and meet Haley. She changed into jeans and a flowy blouse with slip ons but not fancy. She’d curled her hair and only put on a tiny bit of makeup along with a simple necklace. Once she put on perfume, Hotch knocked on the door.

“Are you decent?”, he asked. Right as she opened it, he looked her up and down. “Are you sure you’re not going to meet another man?”

“What?”, she said.

“You just look really...”, he looked around for Jack and leaned in to whisper, “...hot.”

“You think I always look hot, no matter what I’m wearing.”, she said.

“Well, _true_ . Because you _do_.”, he said, following her to the door.

“Emily!”, Jack came running out of his room in his pajamas. He went over to her and looked up, making her bend down. “You leaving?”, he asked.

“Yeah, but I’ll be back later tonight. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”, she said.

“No movies?”, Jack looked at Hotch. 

“She can’t tonight, buddy but you and I can still watch one.”, Hotch said, looking over at Emily who seemed confused. “We’re having a little movie night. But we can do another one next week with you too.”, he said.

“Okay, that sounds good. Alright, I gotta go now.”, she said, about to stand up when Jack ran into her, trying to give her a hug. She picked him up and held him, letting him hug her easier and giving him a squeeze back. She looked over at Hotch, smiling at each other, recognizing the sweet moment. “Alright, I gotta go now but eat some popcorn for me, alright?”, she said. Jack pulled back and nodded before she set him down and he ran over to the couch. 

“So, do _I_ get a hug _goodbye?_ ”, Hotch asked. 

Emily looked over at Jack who was turned away from them. “You get a _little_ more than a hug.”, she said.

“Oh _really?_ ”, he smirked.

She placed her hand on his face and gave him a closed mouth kiss since Jack was there. “Okay. Now I _really_ gotta go.”, she said, giving him one last kiss and calling over to Jack, saying _goodnight_. 

Once she arrived at the coffee shop, she walked inside and saw Haley sitting at a tiny table in the corner and walked over to it.

“Hey!”, Haley said.

“Hey!”, Emily replied. “Sorry I’m a little late. I kind of lost track of time playing with Jack.”

“Oh believe me, _I know_.”, Haley laughed. “So he’s not giving you guys too much trouble? Easy settling into the new place with him?”

“Oh, he’s been a lot of fun. Other than fun and excited energy, he seems to be a pretty mellow kid. Everything is unpacked now so he’s got all his stuff in his room. But today, he knocked over his piggy bank when he was getting changed and got a little cut. He was okay, it was almost like a papercut. And for being _so brave_ , we went out for ice cream later and played at the park for a while. It was nice.”, Emily said.

“Aww. Good, I’m glad it’s going well and he likes it there. He can be picky sometimes.”, Haley said.

“He hasn’t given us any trouble yet.”, Emily said. They both smiled at each other for a minute and had an awkward moment of silence before Haley spoke.

“Listen, thank you for coming out tonight. I know this is maybe one of the weirdest girls night out but things between me and Aaron are good. It shouldn’t have to be awkward or anything, right?”, Haley said.

“I completely agree. I just didn’t know if any of this made _you_ uncomfortable or if _I_ did.”, Emily said.

“No, you don’t. It was an adjustment that I thought would take longer but the first day we met, I knew how great you were and if there was anyone that Aaron could have moved in with him and be around Jack... I’m glad it’s you. And I feel very safe with having him stay with you. Two FBI agents. You can’t get much safer than that really. It’s like Jack has his own personal bodyguards.”, Haley laughed.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”, Emily laughed. “Oh um, I’m gonna go grab a coffee up there at the counter. What do you want?”

“Oh, no. I can’t let you do that.”, Haley said.

“It’s just a coffee.”, Emily said.

“Alright, but I’m getting us next time.”, she said.

“Fair enough.”, Emily chuckled.

“Chai latte is fine.”, Haley said.

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”, Emily said, going up the barista and ordering their drinks. She came back with their two coffee cups and set them down. 

“Thank you. What did _you_ get?”, Haley asked.

“Same thing.”, Emily said. 

“So I guess the poetry thing isn’t starting for another hour.”, Haley said.

“Gives us more time to chat now.”, Emily smiled.

“So what are the boys doi-“, Haley got cut off by a text that came in on her phone. She sighed once she read it and set it down.

“What’s wrong?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know if Aaron told you but I started seeing someone myself.”, Haley said.

“He mentioned it but that’s all I know.”, Emily said.

“Well, he’s going out of town for work in a few days but wanted to go out for dinner or something before then but... I can’t get any babysitter for Jack on Monday night.”, she said.

“We’ll watch him!”, Emily said.

“Really?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah, of course! Aaron would love to be able spend some more time with him. And so would I but yeah, it’s no problem. I mean, obviously we’ll double check with him but I don’t see why not.”, Emily said.

“That would be _great_.”, Haley said.

“What time?”, Emily asked.

“I was thinking of leaving around 7:30... but you guys typically work later than that.”, she said.

Emily waved her hand at Haley while taking a sip of her drink. “We’ll make sure one or both of us are off before then. He’s the boss after all.”, Emily said.

“You’d really do that?”, Haley asked. 

“ _Of course_ . I’d be _more_ than happy to.”, Emily said.

“Okay, great! I’ll let Tom know. That’s his name by the way.”, Haley said. 

“Oh, I’d love to hear more if that’s not too weird.”, Emily said.

“Sure. Well- oh before I forget... you and Aaron... who else knows? I’m guessing it’s not really... _allowed_ at work?”, Haley said.

“Yeah... nobody else other than JJ. We didn’t tell her though, she figured it out. It’s weird because she’s pretty much the only one there that _isn’t_ a profiler.”, Emily laughed. “She saw us hug at one point and put a few things together and yeah... but it’s good now that she knows. One less person to have to keep it from.”

“Seriously?! If _she_ figured it out, how has no one else? Those are probably the hardest people to hide it from.”, Haley laughed.

“Yeah! You would think! I guess it’s just because her and I are really close. She’s one of my only friends to be honest. But also, Aaron and I just keep things really professional at work. To stay in that mindset, we don’t even typically talk about our personal life or anything even if it’s just us in his office for a minute or in the elevator or any moment where we’re alone. We act as if he’s just my boss.”, Emily said.

“That must be kind of hard though.”, Haley said.

“Sometimes I guess but for a long time that’s how it was before we started seeing each other. So we’re just used to being able to be completely professional and it works just fine. Obviously if we are out in the field, doing something dangerous involving someone shooting at us... it’s hard to separate everything then because I do worry. I mean... he got shot before. It _happens_.”, Emily said.

“You were with him when that happened, right?”, Haley asked.

When Haley said that, all Emily could think of was the night before when they’d slept with each other for the first time. She thought of how scared she was that she was going to lose him just less than 24 hours after he told her that he loved her for the first time. She thought of how much blood there was and how much she was crying. And how after they got home from that, they didn’t see each other for a couple months except one day when Haley was gone. She knew what Haley meant when she asked if she was with him then but it also made her think of the other meaning. Suddenly she felt guilty and didn’t know how to get through the conversation without breaking down in some way. 

“Yeah. It was pretty scary. I don’t know how much Aaron told you...”, Emily said.

“Not much actually. Just that you were there and the unsub ran off after he shot him and then he was in the hospital. He said he doesn’t remember much.”, Haley said.

“That would make sense. He coded when we were in the ambulance and didn’t wake up till after surgery I’m pretty sure.”, Emily said.

“So what _did_ happen, if you don’t mind me asking. I know it was probably traumatic.”, Haley said.

“I don’t mind. And I guess it was but we also go through those situations pretty regularly too but it doesn’t make each time any easier.”, Emily said.

“I’m sure not.”, Haley said.

“Well, that day, we were going into a warehouse and it was just me and him while everyone else was on the outside, surrounding all the exits. There probably should’ve been one more inside with us, otherwise that might not have happened. But we were clearing rooms and I went into one and then unsub hit me hard and knocked me to the ground. He took my gun and pointed it at me and all the lights were off in there so we had flashlights but other than that... So I could barely see him pointing the gun at me but I could still see it. Aaron eventually came in the room and the light turned on and the unsub picked me up and held the gun to my head.”, Emily said.

“Oh my god.”, Haley whispered.

“We both tried talking him down because Aaron didn’t have a clear shot and he told him to put the gun down for the third time but after he said that... the unsub pointed the gun at him and fired three times. I mean Aaron is quick to the draw but this guy... I don’t know how he did it.”, Emily said. “I’m sorry is this too much for you to hear?”

“No, no. I’d like to be able to know what happened to him from someone who remembers. And my guess is... you didn’t have many people to really talk to about it then either.”, Haley said.

“I guess I never really talked about it with anyone else... But after he shot him, he dropped me to the ground and ran off so I went up to Aaron and... I’m sorry if this is too much detail, just let me know but um... there was a lot of blood and I was kind of freaking out. There was nothing to stop it so I used my hand until a medic came but doing that and telling him to stay awake at the same time... harder than you’d think. I’m glad at least one of the bullets was caught by the vest. But finally they came, I rode in the ambulance, I also had to go to the hospital anyways to get my forehead stitched up, it was pretty bad. But he coded at one point in the ambulance and then went into surgery when we got there. I got my stitches and when he woke up, we all went in to see him. I guess I didn’t eat enough or something because I felt dizzy and passed out and then after I woke up, I went back in his room and kept him company for the rest of the day. I stayed with him for a few days before we flew back since he wasn’t good to travel yet when everybody else was and yeah... That’s pretty much everything.”, Emily sighed.

“I’m really sorry.”, Haley said.

“It’s fine. It was a while ago and he’s okay now.”, Emily said.

“Do you want a tissue?”, Haley asked.

“What?”, Emily said, not even realizing she had tears in her eyes. She looked up and shook her head, bringing them back in and sniffled. “No, I’m good. Thank you.”, she smiled.

“Aaron told me... he had feelings for you before... Was that mutual?”, Haley asked.

Emily looked off to the side and then down before looking back up at her. “I told him it’s fine, we aren’t... together anymore and it was way past done and downhill for a while. I can understand _how_ he could have developed feelings for you. I’m not saying I would be okay with it or anything but it would make sense for that to possibly happen...”, Haley said.

“Um... yeah. I guess it was.”, Emily said.

“I mean... he asked you to move in after 2 months of officially being in a relationship... there must’ve been some feelings there for a while...”, Haley said.

“I can’t exactly pick a certain time where I realized it or that I started to feel something. But I guess it was a while. We never mentioned it, never brought it up or told each other. We never did anything like that at all so I really don’t know about him.”, Emily said. Haley just nodded and looked down. “I’m really sorry, I-“, Emily started. 

“You can’t control that, I know. Trust me, I do know. The reason why I’m bringing it up is because I want to have a better understanding of... all of this. I feel like knowing how well you know each other and care about each other instills certain levels of trust and... I’m rambling... I’m glad you’re in Jack’s life because he really seems to like you and I think someone being by Aaron’s side is really important and I just wanted to make sure it was serious I guess.”, Haley said.

“That makes sense... and... yes, it’s serious.”, Emily said.

“I’d rather have it be serious than _not_ if you’re involved with everything like Jack and more. So thank you for being helpful with that and understanding of a lot.”, Haley said.

“Thank you for _letting_ me be involved in this and also being understanding.”, Emily said.

Haley smiled and brought her coffee cup up and clinked theirs together for a cheer.

“There is one more thing... about Tom...”, Haley said.

“Oh, yes. I definitely want to hear about him.”, Emily said.

“Part of the reason why I understand all of this is because it’s kind of the same situation with me and him. I met him a while ago, feelings have been involved for a bit and now we’re together as well. But nothing ever happened.”, Haley said.

“Oh. I can’t say I saw that coming but okay.”, Emily nodded her head. “Listen, Aaron and I have a _no lying_ policy because we’d be able to figure it out anyways, it’s hard to leave work and be able to turn the _off_ button for reading people. So it’s just... always being honest makes everything much less messy. But... this is girl talk. So what happens in a coffeehouse, stays in a coffeehouse.”, Emily laughed.

Haley smiled and stared at her. “You’re really great, Emily. I never would have thought that the two of us would ever be able to go out for fun and willingly, let alone get along at all.”, she said.

“I could say the same. But really, I need to hear about this Tom guy.”, Emily laughed.

After a couple hours of chatting and then listening to the poetry, they headed out. They both walked back to their cars and stopped before they got in.

“I know some of it was strange tonight but I feel like we got past a lot of that and I’d really love to go out again.”, Haley said.

“Yes! Finally. Aaron keeps telling me I need to make some friends. I really just have him and JJ that are my main people but I’m close with everyone else at work. But I don’t go out with them as much or anything.”, Emily said.

“Well... how about we make this a weekly thing if we can or just try and make sure we get together regularly because it seems like we both need someone. I feel like we understand each other pretty well too with a lot of things.”, Haley laughed.

“Definitely. I’d like that a lot.”, Emily smiled. 

Haley hesitated but went for a hug anyways which Emily reciprocated. “We’re probably the strangest friends, huh?”, Haley asked.

“You could say that.”, Emily laughed yet surprised by the fact that Haley had just called them _friends_.

“Well, give Jack a hug for me and-“, Haley started. 

“I’ll talk to Aaron about watching Jack on Monday.”, Emily said.

“Thank you.”, Haley said.

“Of course. Have a goodnight. And drive safe!”, Emily said.

“You too!”, Haley called out as they both got in their cars and drove home. 

  
  


By the time Emily got home, it was a bit past 9:00 and she walked in to find the lights off but the tv still on. She set her keys down and walked over to the couch. She looked at Hotch sitting up but passed out and Jack laying down, sucking his thumb with a blanket over him and his head on Hotch’s lap. She thought it was possibly one of the cutest, sweetest things she’d ever seen and decided to take a picture. She made sure the sound was off so the click of it on her phone wouldn’t wake them up. She knew one of the only people she could send it to was Haley and had a feeling she’d appreciate so she texted her the picture and decided to send it to JJ as well, hoping she’d see it in the morning.

She put her phone back in her pocket and walked to the opposite end of the couch that Jack was laying on. Hotch’s head was thrown off the edge of the couch and his head was facing up to the ceiling. She sat down next to him and stroked his arm before bringing her hand to his hair and running her fingers through it, soothing him. He still didn’t wake up so she placed soft kisses on his neck and cheek until she heard him waking up.

“Mmmm. What do-“, he started mumbling nonsense until he opened his eyes, still squinting. “Mmmm Em?”, he struggled to get out in a groggy voice. He brought his head forward and turned it to her. She brought her finger to her mouth and shushed him softly, letting him know to just whisper.

“Hey sleepyhead.”, she smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. She brought her face close to his and let him lean in a bit until their lips met.

“What- what time is it?”, he tried to check his watch but it was too dark. 

“It’s about 9:15.”, she whispered.

“Oh my god. I really passed out before 9:00?”, he said.

“Guess so. What movie were you guys watching?”, she asked.

“Peter Pan but I don’t think we finished it.”, he said.

“That’s one of my favorite Disney classics. Let’s watch it next time.”, she said.

“Alright.”, he chuckled. “Did you just get home?”, he asked, watching her smile at him, continuing to rub his neck. “What?”, he asked.

“You called it _home_ . As in _our home_.”, she said.

“Well, yeah, because it _is_.”, he said.

“I know, I’m just not used to it but I love the sound of it.”, she smiled.

“Okay well, I’ll say it again. Especially since you didn’t answer my question anyways. Did you just get home?”, he asked again.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“How’d it go?”, he asked.

“Really well... but let’s talk about it when we get in bed. Someone needs to be _in_ bed right now.”, she said, standing up. She made sure the blanket would be wrapped around Jack and carefully picked him up, trying not to wake him. She held him to her chest with his head over her shoulder. Hotch got up and followed quietly behind them. 

Being able to see in Jack’s room because of his night light, Hotch pulled the sheets back on his bed and Emily laid him down, managing to make sure he stayed asleep the whole time. They both took a moment to look at how peaceful he was and Hotch put his arm around her as she leaned into him and put her hand on his chest. They both smiled and then backed up, closing the door. 

After making sure the front door was locked, tv was off, and dishes were done, Hotch got right in bed. Emily changed out of her outfit and put on pajama shorts and and a tank top, hopping into bed. She curled up into Hotch’s arms and rested her head on his pillow.

“So how’d it go?”, he asked.

“It went really really really well. She called me her friend and said she needs some more friends too. She wants to try and make it a regular thing like each week if we can to go out or get together and hangout.”, she said.

“Seriously?”, he asked.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

“My ex-wife and my current girlfriend... are friends?”, he said almost like trying to figure it out.

“Yes. And it’s good. We even talked about some things and now we don’t have to worry about those awkward topics.”, she said.

“Okay. It’s kind of weird but I mean just for me but not bad. Just... different.”, he said.

“I think we’ll all get used to it.”, she said.

“Alright. You’re probably right.”, he said.

“I always am.”, she giggled.

“I beg to differ. But I _do_ have to say...”, his tone was softer and quieter, “... you’re really good with Jack. He already loves you and you don’t have to do half the things you do with him and for him. But thank you.”, he said, giving her a kiss on her head.

“I told you... I want to. Also, Haley needs a sitter on Monday night. I said we could do it. Well, I said I’d double check with you but...”, she waited for him to reply.

“Really?”, he asked. 

“Yeah, why? Does that not work?”, she asked.

“No, it does. If it doesn’t, I’ll make it work. I’m just glad I’ll be able to spend time with him that isn’t just my legally required time. Not that he feels like just an obligation. I love spending time with him. And the opportunity to more, I’m very happy about.”, he said.

“Good. You’re the boss, make sure at least one of us is off work by 7:00 on Monday then.”, she said.

“I’ll make it work.”, he said.

“ _Good_. Now go to sleep because you are exhausted. Falling asleep before 9:00.”, she laughed. 

“I have a lot more to say to that but I’m too tired.”, he said.

“I know. I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too, hun. Goodnight.”, he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead and nuzzling his head on top of hers.

  
  



	58. Let Me In

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 58**

  
  
  


***this chapter is based on the episode “lo-fi” but obviously has quite a few changes.***

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


Another two months later, Emily had grown closer with Haley. They’d gone out at least once a week whether it was for food, drinks, a movie, or even back to Haley’s place for a girls night in. Things were less awkward with them and they felt like they actually had a normal friendship. Hotch was a little bit more skeptical about it at first but after a while, he got used to it. He enjoyed them being able to not only get along but that they had built something more and they each finally had another friend. 

Jack grew more comfortable with Emily and became quite close and attached to her. With Emily and Hotch finally living together, they were able to babysit for Haley more, meaning more time they both got to spend with Jack. Emily had gotten to the point where she was helping tuck him in at night and reading him bedtime stories. She picked him up from preschool some days and took turns with giving him baths at night before bed. They were all finally getting used to the new arrangement they had with each other and it seemed to be working out perfectly.

Emily and Hotch were stable in their relationship and hadn’t come across anymore obstacles yet. They went out with JJ and Will more when they got to, they still kept work professional other than staying with each other in one of their hotel rooms when on a case. Other than the fact that not a lot of people knew about them, they felt like a normal couple for once. And it felt good. 

Monday mornings were always a struggle for them, being so tired from having Jack over for the weekend that getting to work wasn’t always the easiest. They’d gotten use to it for the most part but still hadn’t perfected their morning routine every time. 

The previous day, however, was extra mellow since they had a day in because of the rain. They watched cartoons with Jack, played some games, made cookies, and all took a nap at one point. 

Hotch had woken up a bit early that next day on Monday and decided to let Emily sleep in before they got ready for work. She woke up to him calling her name from the kitchen but didn’t get up or answer him.

“Emily!”, Hotch called for the third time and walked into their bedroom when she didn’t respond. “Em, come on, we have to leave in less than an hour. I made you breakfast.”, he said, walking over to her side of the bed, pulling her hair back and kissing her shoulder.

“I’m exhausted.”, she groaned.

“I’ll make you some coffee but come on, you still want to shower and do your hair and makeup, right?”, he asked.

“Ughhh.”, she moaned.

“Come on, hun. Your breakfast is still hot. I’ll even help you up.”, he laughed.

“No. I’ve got it.”, she said, putting her hand up and he backed away as she got out of bed. She walked past him without even saying _good morning_ or giving him a kiss. 

He followed her out to the kitchen and put his hand on her back. “Good morning to you too.”, he chuckled but she just rolled her eyes at him, not even joking.

“Oh god.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“The smell...”, she said.

“I made you an omelette, your favorite one I make for you all the time...”, he said.

“Something about it right now just...”, she brought her hand up to over her mouth and nose. “It’s just really overwhelming.”

“Maybe you just need some caffeine going.”, he said, starting a pot. 

She grabbed the plate and walked over to the table. He went over to join her and she picked apart at the food. Knowing that she had to eat, despite how much the smell was bothering her, she managed to get a couple bites in at first. 

“Thanks.”, she said, looking at her plate.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked, eyeing her.

“Nothing’s wrong.”, she said, still not looking at him.

“No... you’re acting really... _off_. Did you not get enough sleep last night?”, he asked.

“I don’t know...”, she said, starting to feel sick to her stomach. She put her hand over her mouth again and set her fork down.

“Em? Are you okay?”, he asked.

She stared at her plate until the sight of the food made her sick so she closed her eyes. The nausea got worse and she knew she needed to run to the bathroom right then. She pushed the chair out and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Hotch got up after a second and went after her, knocking on the door.

“Emily, are you alright? Are you getting sick again?”, he asked. “Em... I know you can hear me.”, he said once she didn’t reply. He felt for the door knob and luckily for him, it was unlocked. “I’m coming in, okay?”, he said, still not hearing anything back from her.

He opened the door and saw her sitting down against the wall next to the toilet. He walked over to her and sat down beside her, putting his hand on her knee. “Aaron, I really don’t need yo-“, she stopped and sat up, vomiting again. 

Hotch got behind her and held her hair back with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. Once she could feel it passing for the moment, he put his arm around her and helped her sit back down. He grabbed some toilet paper and wiped her mouth, tossing it in the trash next to them after. He stroked her hair and gave her a kiss on the head.

“Honey, what’s going on? You’ve been feeling sick the past week or so. Are you coming down with something?”, he said, feeling her forehead for a fever. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I don’t know. I think I just got some bug going around. It might’ve just been breakfast this morning though. I don’t know...”, she sighed.

“Let me get you something. Do you want some saltines or any crackers?”, he asked, regretting it once he saw the look on her face before she sat up again and he held her hair back. “I’ll take that as a _no_ ... You need to put something in your stomach though. You’ve practically had nothing today already and what you _did_ have is all out of your system now anyways.”, he said.

She sat back down and he wiped her mouth again. “I don’t know. It’s hard to keep much of anything down.”, she said.

“You were able to with that soup last night and lunch last week at work. Maybe it’s certain foods or time of day?”, he said.

“There was only one or two days I didn’t get sick at work actually.”, she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked.

“Because I didn’t want you to worry and because it’s fine. Whatever this is, it’ll pass.”, she said.

“Maybe you should just stay home today and rest. You still look exhausted, did you get any sleep last night?”, he asked.

“I fell asleep at the same time you did. I’m just so tired. I feel like my body is being dragged down.”, she said.

“ _Please_ stay home today and just rest.”, he said.

“No, I don’t need to...”, she said quietly.

“Em, just take a-“, he started right after her.

“Stop! I said I’m fine!”, she snapped, getting up fast and walking out to the kitchen while he sat on the bathroom floor, taking in what had just happened. 

He got up and walked into the kitchen, watching her pour a cup of coffee. “Emily, you shouldn’t drink that.”, he said, taking the cup from her and setting it on the counter. 

“Why the hell not?”, she asked.

“Because it’s not good for you when your stomach is upset and you have _nothing_ in it.”, he said.

“Aaron... I can take care of myself.”, she said, grabbing the mug again and walking to the bedroom. 

“Emily, that’s just going to make you feel worse.”, he said, following her. “I’m worried about you. You’re not doing well. Maybe you should see a doctor.”, he said as she went in the closet to grab an outfit for work. She was ignoring him and he could tell. 

He walked up to her and grabbed a pantsuit on the hanger from her hand and hung it back up. She turned to him with fire in her eyes and he tried his best to keep eye contact with her and not look away.

“I’m sorry but I can’t let you go to work today.”, he said.

“Are you suspending me?”, she asked.

“No.”, he said.

“Are you firing me?”, she asked.

“No!”, he said.

“Then you don’t really get a say in this. So please... move.”, she said.

“Emily, stop!”, he said, blocking her from grabbing her clothes. He took her hands and dragged her over to the bed and sat down on the edge, surprised she didn’t pull away. He used one hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and hold her face. He stared deep in her eyes and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Aaron... I’m really sorry, sweetie.”, she sighed, scooting closer to him and wrapping her arms around him tight. He returned the hug, squeezing her even tighter, holding the back of her head as he felt start to cry. 

“Honey, _what’s going on?_ I feel a little left in the dark right now. I want to be there for you but I don’t know how when you won’t tell me.”, he said.

“I don’t know.”, she said, sobbing uncontrollably, digging her fingers into his back and shoulder. “I’m sorry, I know I-“, she couldn’t get any more words out.

He pulled them both onto the bed and sat in the middle for more space and she went in for another hug. “Em, will you _please_ stay home today? I’ll call out and stay with you. I just don’t think you should be going into work like this.”, he said.

“No, it’d seem weird if we both called out.”, she said.

“Okay, you’re right but... could you maybe just take a day? I know your boss and he’s pretty understanding.”, he laughed.

“No... I need work. It makes me feel better and it’s a good distraction.”, she said.

“I need you to at least eat something.”, he said.

She pulled back from him and held his arms. “Still have some of those saltines?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he kissed her forehead and helped her off the bed. 

Once they finally got to work, Hotch went to his office and pulled his things out. Only a few people were there so far but JJ noticed him walk in. She went into his office and he looked up at her and gave her a small smile but she could tell he was stressed.

“Someone’s a bit later than usual.”, she said.

“Emily wasn’t feeling good.”, he said.

“Right... Have you noticed she’s been acting... strange lately?”, she asked.

“Of course I have...”, he sighed. “I don’t know what to do though. She won’t talk to me and when we _do_ talk, she says she doesn’t know but I’m getting concerned. I honestly can’t even tell what it is. Is she depressed? Is she having more anxiety attacks? Did something happen? I know her and Derek have been fine for a while but what if something else occurred and she’s too afraid to tell me and it’s building up? I have no clue.”, he said, leaning against his desk.

“Have you told her all of that?”, she asked.

“No. Just that I’m worried about her.”, he said.

“Sit down with her tonight and have a real talk, not just one in the middle of her... acting out.”, she said.

“She’s been snapping at me so much and I feel like it’s something I did until like this morning where she went from wanting to throw me out the window to crying in my arms just like that.”, he snapped his fingers.

“Yeah, well... all women get like that... _Hormones_... But to be fair with you... you’re right, it’s not always this extreme. Usually there’s something going on but... we don’t always know ourselves either. Sometimes... it takes someone else to help us break it down. But don’t act like you’re trying to take control or fix her because you know Emily, that’ll just make things worse.”, she laughed. 

He nodded and stood up straight when his phone rang. Before he picked it up he looked over at her and said, “Thank you...”

She smiled and walked out, closing his door behind her. He picked up the phone and dreaded the next couple days to come once he got the news. 

Hotch called JJ over when he walked out of his office and told her to gather everyone to present a new case they got. They all gathered in the conference room and went over it before heading for the jet.

While they were up in the air, Hotch couldn’t help from looking over at Emily every few minutes. She got up to grab a hot tea and without seeming too suspicious, he followed her to the end. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?”, he whispered, grabbing a bottle of water.

“I’m fine.”, she said without looking at him and walked away, back to her seat.

He couldn’t tell why she seemed so annoyed at him and he wanted to pull her back but sat back down until they landed. 

As they were getting off the jet, Hotch was coming down the steps behind Emily and said quietly, “Do you want to ride with me?”, before she could answer, Derek called her over. 

“Hey, you wanna ride with me and JJ to the field office?”, Derek asked.

“Sure.”, Emily said and walked over to get in the SUV with them. She didn’t even turn around to acknowledge that Hotch was there and that he’d asked her a question. She just left him. 

After a crazy drive through traffic in New York City, they all arrived at the FBI Field Office. They walked in and Hotch went straight to Kate Joyner, head of the New York Field Office. Emily heard him mention that they’d “ _liaised_ ” when he was at Scotland Yard. But when she saw the smile on their faces and Kate called him by his first name, she became uneasy. When she asked to speak to him alone in her office, Emily couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. 

“Emily.”, JJ said, getting her attention.

“Hm?”, Emily turned to her.

“You good?”, JJ asked.

“Just perfect.”, Emily said, obviously not.

“Hey, I noticed that too but I don’t think there’s any history between them in that sense.”, JJ said.

“You really think I’m upset about him smiling at her?”, Emily said with a snarky attitude.

“No. But I know the way you think. The way they smiled at each other, her calling him _Aaron_ , them in his office right now very close. Not to mention the fact that she looks _exactly_ like Haley...”, JJ said.

“Yeah, I noticed, alright?”, Emily said, watching him in Kate’s office.

“He would never do anything. He _loves_ you. They were just friends and knew each other through professional connections. That was years ago. And besides... _on a case?_ Please.”, JJ laughed. Emily shot her a look, making JJ wish she’d never said anything. She didn’t know if she’d ever seen Emily look like she wanted to throw her up against a wall so bad before.

“ _We_ met each other years ago technically through professional connections. He worked for my mother. _We_ were friendly. He was married when _we_ first got together. And _we_ slept together for the first time while on a case. Add on many other things we’ve done on cases numerous times so care to take that previous statement back?”, Emily snapped at her and walked over to Spencer, talking to some detectives. JJ instantly felt horrible and considered going to talk to her but figured to just leave it be for the time being. 

“Profile me. What am I thinking?”, the detective asked.

“Never gonna happen.”, Emily laughed.

“No offense but... we’ve had five murders. Hope it gets better than that.”, he said, walking away. 

“I saw it too. You were right, he was definitely... He’s just being a-“, Spencer started.

“Shut up.”, Emily said.

Hotch walked over to them and looked at them both, aware of the fact something had just gone down. “What did Cooper say?”, Hotch asked.

Spencer looked at Emily out of the corner of his eyes and reluctantly started to speak. “He made it very clear they’re not happy we’re here.”, Spencer said.

Hotch looked over at Emily who was clenching her fists. “What’d he say?”, he asked her, in a serious tone with his hands on his hips. She didn’t answer, clenching her jaw.

“He asked Emily to prof-“, Spencer started before she cut him off again by shooting him a deadly look. His eyes got wide and he dropped his head.

Hotch waited for her to answer, never taking his eyes off her. “Emily?”, he asked.

“Nothing. Nothing useful or important.”, she said, walking away in a huff. Hotch looked over at Spencer who just shrugged his shoulders. 

Throughout the rest of the day, Emily had to frequently excuse herself to the bathroom, getting sick every time. She had no control over her attitude, taking all her frustrations out on everyone. Hotch had kept an eye on her the whole time. Any time he got a chance to speak to her and she noticed, she’d walk away or ignore him and find something else to do. 

Everyone was relieved when they got to go to their hotel that night. It was nice, something they weren’t always used to. Emily just hoped the bed would be as well, knowing she needed rest. When they walked in, she picked up a newspaper about their case with murders in the subways they were working on. They all gathered around her, Hotch stood right behind, his chest almost pressed against her back. She could feel his breath on her neck and shuddered. He started to put his hand on her back but brought it back down quick. 

After a few seconds, everyone saw Will sitting down in the lobby and started walking up to him. Emily stared at the paper for an extra couple seconds and Hotch stood behind her and whispered in her ear. 

“Em, can you-“, he started but she set the newspaper down and walked over to everyone else. He stayed in place for a moment and sighed before following her. 

They were all chattering with each other and Hotch looked at JJ talking to Will, whose hand he shook and then asked, “Is there a problem?”

JJ turned to the rest of the team and smiled awkwardly. “I’m pregnant.”, she said. 

Everyone was silent for a minute until Emily snapped out of her mood and gave her a hug before anyone else could. “Oh my god, JJ. Congratulations!”, Emily said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”, she whispered in her ear. JJ shrugged, not being able to answer right away with all the hugs she was finally receiving. 

After all the _congratulations_ , everyone headed to their rooms. As JJ and Will started to walk to the elevator they looked over at Emily and Hotch. “I promise we’ll talk later. I was going to tell you guys first but I guess it came up now.”, she elbowed Will and laughed. 

“It’s fine JJ. Just go get some sleep, tomorrow’s going to be long.”, Hotch said. She smiled and walked off with Will, arms wrapped around each other.

Emily stood there with her arms crossed, knowing she had to eventually speak to Hotch and decided to just do it. She didn’t know why she was avoiding him but he was irritating her constantly for seemingly no reason. When he turned back to her and stepped closer, he took her hands in his as she dropped them to her sides.

“Em... how are you feeling?”, he asked.

“I’m fine.”, she said, completely withdrawn from any emotion and he could tell.

“Honey, I know that’s not true. I’ve seen you go to the bathroom multiple times today. You’ve been snapping at everyone, even JJ. Why haven’t you come to me at all?”, he asked. 

“We’ve been busy all day.”, she said.

“We’ve had moments. You _could’ve_ come to me.”, he said.

“There was nothing to come to you for.”, she told him.

“What about even just for a hug?”, he asked, pulling her in for one. When she just stood there and didn’t bring her arms up to him, he pulled away and stared at her. He put his hand on her face and she moved it to look off to the side. “Emily.”, he said.

“I just wanna go to bed.”, she said, releasing herself from him. 

“Why don’t you stay in _my_ room tonight? I can go grab some ginger ale if you want for your stom-“, he said.

“No. I just want to be alone tonight.”, she said.

“But we always stay in one of our rooms together...”, he said.

“Yeah but we also live together. I think we can handle a night apart.”, she said, walking to the elevator which she was thankful for already opening before she pressed a button. She watched Hotch stand in place and drop his head, running his fingers through his hair as the elevator doors closed. 

As she approached her hotel room, she felt like she was going to get sick _again_. She slid the key in fast and found the bathroom. After a few minutes, she felt it pass more and flushed the toilet. She washed her hands and brushed her teeth, hating the fact that she didn’t get to all day and just had to use gum.

She heard a knock on the door and reluctantly walked over to it. She almost decided to just ignore it if it was Hotch but looked out the peephole first. Once she saw it was JJ, she opened it up and let her in. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you guys, we were going to but with Will showing up like that-“, JJ said.

“JJ, it’s okay. I completely understand. I’m just really happy for you.”, Emily smiled and gave her a hug. 

“Thanks... but you don’t really seem _happy_ all together. Are you alright? Hotch said he was going to talk to you tonight.”, JJ said.

“You’re still calling him _Hotch_ in private and _Aaron_ to his face?”, Emily laughed.

“I think it makes him feel like we’re closer if I do but it’s just weird for me to when you and I are talking about him. But that’s not the point. He said he was going to talk to you tonight.”, JJ said.

“When did he say _that?_ ”, Emily asked.

“This morning back at Quantico.”, JJ said.

“Well he’s been trying to talk to me all day.”, Emily said, JJ picking up on the irritation in her voice. 

“Emily. What is up with you? You’re not acting like yourself.”, JJ said.

“I honestly have no-“, Emily stopped, feeling sick again, knowing it was too good to be true to have stopped that soon before she got the door for JJ. She covered her mouth for a second and when she knew she couldn’t hold it anymore, she ran to the bathroom, having no time to close the door. 

JJ ran in and saw her on her knees over the toilet, throwing up. She went to hold her hair back and grab a wet washcloth, putting it on her forehead when she sat back down. 

“Whoa, Em. Are you sick or something?”, JJ asked.

“I have no idea.”, Emily started tearing up. “I’ve just been getting sick for like a week or so now. I can’t keep anything down. I feel sick even when I don’t eat... I don’t have a fever. I thought maybe it was food poisoning but it’s not... And everything is just so shitty right now.”, she started crying more. “Aaron is constantly worried about me, he thinks I’m depressed or having my anxiety attacks again and just wont tell him which isn’t true. I tell him everything and he’s the only one who understands them. He’s really one of the only people who knows about them. I would tell him if I was having any of that... _stuff_. He thinks I’m mad at him.”

“ _Are_ you?”, JJ asked.

“ _No_ , of course not. He hasn’t even done anything but try to help me... but... he’s been irritating me so much and I don’t know why and I can’t explain it to him...”, Emily sniffled.

“Emily...”, JJ looked down. “Could you maybe be pregnant?”, she brought her head back up to look at her.

“ _What?_ No, definitely not. I’m on the pill.”, Emily said.

“It’s not a hundred percent effective...”, JJ said. 

“No... no, that’s not possible.”, Emily said.

“Emily. You’ve been getting sick constantly, your mood is all over the place... what else has been... different lately?”, JJ asked. Emily’s eyes got wide and couldn’t speak. “What? What is it?”, JJ asked.

“We haven’t had sex in like... almost a week which is weird because usually we do everyday. But the last few times we did... my boobs were like really hurting so he... stayed away from that area...”, she looked down. 

“ _And?_ What else...?”, JJ asked.

“I’ve been really tired especially in the mornings. He almost dragged me out of bed this morning even though I got a full night of sleep...”, Emily said.

“Exhaustion, sore boobs, smells that bother you, throwing up, mood swings... that’s all-“, JJ said.

“Shit.”, Emily put her elbows on her knees and her hands over her face.

“ _Emily._..”, JJ said quietly.

“JJ, I can’t deal with this. I can’t be... I can’t.”, Emily said, tearing up again.

“That’s not something you’d want?”, JJ asked.

“No. _Not right now_. I can’t...”, Emily trailed off. They waited a couple minutes in silence before JJ stood up. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get you a test.”, JJ said.

“No, you can’t-“, Emily started.

“No. I’m getting you a box. You’re taking one tonight and one in the morning. You are not waiting. There’s a group of unsubs randomly shooting people out here right now. If you’re pregnant... you just need to know, okay?”, JJ said, walking out of her room.

Emily waited, sitting against the wall in the bathroom, too weak to get up for almost an hour before JJ knocked on her door. With the help of the counter, she stood up and got to it. JJ came in with a bag and box of two tests in it.

“Okay. You’re taking one now. Get your phone and set a timer for three minutes.”, JJ said. 

Emily walked over to grab her phone from the table and saw she had a text from Hotch. She hesitated on opening it but decided not to. She took one of the tests and went to the bathroom. 

“No matter what it says, it’s gonna be okay.”, JJ called. Once she heard the toilet flush and the sink, she noticed even her palms were sweating. Emily walked out and started the timer, sitting on the bed.

JJ sat by her side, holding her hand during the longest three minutes of Emily’s life. Once the timer went off she stood up and walked into the bathroom with JJ. 

“JJ, I can’t do this.”, Emily shook her head. “You gotta look for me.”

“No, Emily, you have to do this. Like I said, no matter what it says, we’ll figure it out, okay?”, JJ said. 

Emily took a deep breath and flipped over the test. Her eyes widened and JJ looked over at her, both of their mouths dropped and she grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight.

“It’s-“, Emily choked, “It’s positive... how is it- how is it positive?”, Emily looked at JJ with tears in her eyes.

“Emily...”, JJ said.

Emily dropped the test on the counter and walked out of the bathroom. She grabbed her coat and headed for the door. JJ blocked her and pulled her towards the bed. 

“Emily, where do you think you’re going?”, JJ said.

“Somewhere that’s not here right now.”, Emily said, trying to walk past her again.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen, you can’t leave. Especially not right now. You haven’t even processed what just happened.”, JJ said.

“It was positive. That’s just- that’s-“, Emily dropped to the ground, sitting down with her knees pulled to her chest and started crying into her hands. JJ bent down with her and held her in her arms. 

After a while, she stopped crying and felt numb. She rested her arms across her knees and lifted her head. JJ got up and grabbed a couple tissues, coming back and wiping the tears and smudged mascara from her face.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door. They both looked up and JJ turned her head. They didn’t know what to do and hoped whoever it was would just go away but they didn’t and there was another knock at the door and then they heard Hotch’s voice. “Em. _Please_ open the door.”, he said.

JJ got up and went to the door, opening it and looking at Hotch in his pajama pants and shirt. Never having seen him in them would’ve been weird for her but not at the moment with everything else going on. He stared at JJ and she looked at the pain in his eyes that she never imagined she would ever see. 

“Is she in here?”, he asked.

JJ was speechless at first, she had no idea what to say to him after what her and Emily just found out. “Aaron... now’s really not a good time...”, JJ said.

He looked down at her hand and saw the tissues with mascara on it and rolled his lips in. “Is she crying?”, he asked.

“Aaron...”, JJ said.

“JJ, what’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”, Hotch clenched his jaw and she figured that was his way of holding back tears that she could see forming in his eyes and his wobbly voice. “Please. I just-“, he looked down. “I just want to know she’s okay.”, he said, clenching his fists. 

“Aaron... just... go back to your room... this is me talking to you as a _friend_.”, JJ said. He waited a moment, choking back tears before speaking and agreeing to what she said.

“Just... tell her I love her.”, his voice cracked at the end and she gave him a soft smile and nod before he walked away. She watched him down the hall, bringing his hands to the back of his head holding on tight before he threw them down in frustration.

She closed the door and went back over to Emily who started to stand up and grab a tank top and shorts. She went to the bathroom to change and came out with all her makeup washed off and teeth brushed again. 

“Do you want me to stay in here tonight?”, JJ asked.

“No, I can’t ask you to do that. Will is here.”, Emily said, putting her outfit from the day back in her bag.

“Emily, if he knew what we just found out... he would be mad at me _not_ being there for you. _Trust me_.”, JJ laughed. 

“Okay. Just tell him though, I don’t want him to think you’re just skipping out on him tonight for the hell of it.”, Emily said.

“I’ll go change and talk to him.”, JJ said. 

Twenty minutes later, JJ came back in, changed and got in bed with Emily. They turned out the light and JJ gave her a hug. “This one is from Will. And this one is from me.”, she said, squeezing tighter.

Emily started crying again and wiped the tears away. “Sorry. _Hormones_.”, she laughed. 

“ _Trust me, I know_.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah, about that... I’m sorry I kind of stole your thunder with the same news... except yours is a lot happier.”, Emily laughed.

“The only people who’ve found out about _your_ news are also the only people who already knew about _my_ news. You didn’t steal my thunder.”, JJ said. “But you _do_ need some sleep. And... you probably shouldn’t take your pill in the morning for a while...”

“Yeah, I figured as much.”, Emily said.

“I’m right here by your side. Maybe it’s best _I’m_ going through this with you right now.”, JJ said, both of them laughing. She grabbed her hand and they fell asleep within just a few minutes. 

The next morning they both woke up exhausted, opening their eyes and staring at each other but not moving.

“JJ...”, Emily said.

“Mmhmm?”, JJ said, rubbing her eyes. 

“I can’t get up...”, Emily said slowly. “I don’t know how you do it every morning and expect to do it for another... however many months you have.”, Emily said.

“The exhaustion goes away and then it comes back towards the end so there’s a nice break for a while.”, JJ said.

“Ah.”, Emily sat up, helping JJ up.

“When are you gonna tell him?”, JJ asked.

“I have no idea.”, Emily sighed.

“You should do it soon.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, I know that. I just don’t know what to say. I have no idea what his reaction is going to be. I’m sure he’ll agree with me though. I mean, I _think_ he’ll want the same thing I do. But... I... don’t know what I want. I keep thinking I do... or what would be the right thing to do but then both keep changing.”, Emily said.

“Regardless of his reaction, what do you think he’d want?”, JJ asked.

“I know he would do whatever I want and be okay with whatever I want. But I don’t know what _he_ wants or what _he_ would prefer. I mean, he already has Jack and it’s a hard job we have with long hours. Part of the reason why his marriage fell apart was because of all the stuff with raising a kid. He _wanted_ Jack, I’m not saying he _didn’t_ , I’m just saying that it turned out different than he thought. I think that if I decided that it’d be best to not have it, he would probably agree.”, Emily said.

“You really think so?”, JJ asked.

“I can’t see him wanting us to have a baby right now, JJ. Things are way too crazy. You and Will are making it work because he’s moving here literally any day now. He’s probably gonna want to be a stay at home dad for you guys at least for a while. Aaron can’t do that. He didn’t do it when Jack was born, what would be different about now? I’m not saying you have to be married to have a baby, you and Will aren’t married and you’re gonna do just fine. But he _was_ married when they had Jack and it still didn’t work out... I don’t know. I have honestly no idea what to do.”, Emily said.

“Go take that other test just to be completely sure.”, JJ said.

Emily got up and took the test and it was once again positive. “Thanks for the reminder.”, she said, walking out of the bathroom, crying.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. We just gotta get through this case, alright?”, JJ said.

“What if he tries to talk to me today?”, Emily said.

“He probably _will_.”, JJ said.

“The weirdest part is that he’s the person I want here with me right now the most and also want to be as far away from as possible and avoid at all costs.”, Emily said and JJ laughed.

“Yeah, I kinda did that with Will before I found out.”, JJ said. 

“Well, it really _sucks_. He’s my boyfriend and I love him and we live together and take care of his kid together and do everything together including work. He’s probably so confused right now. And I feel horrible about that...”, Emily said.

“There’s nothing to do about it right now. We just have to finish the case and when we get home, you’ll tell him.”, JJ said.

Emily nodded, “Alright, thank you. But you gotta go get ready now and-“, Emily stopped and ran to the bathroom. 

“I’ll bring you some crackers. You gotta put something in your stomach.”, JJ said once Emily sat down before throwing up again. When she left, Emily got dressed and grabbed her key and phone. She saw she had another text from Hotch and opened it this time. 

“ _I love you._ ”, is all it said but it made her cry and was only _partially_ because of the hormones but also guilt and the fact that she missed him.

She started out the door but saw Hotch walking down the hall and went back in her room until he was gone. She finally stepped out right at the same time JJ did and went downstairs together before getting in the SUV and heading to the field office.

Trying to deal with the new information she had, it was hard to focus on anything. She kept looking over at Hotch throughout the first part of the day. Whenever she caught his eye, she would turn back around or look down. More than anything, she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t face him and she knew it wasn’t the time or place. She still didn’t like Kate ever since she picked up on a vibe from the moment her and Hotch greeted each other. 

Kate had refused to set up more people at certain subways to keep watch for any of the unsubs. So when someone got shot at one of the places that was suggested to put people at, Emily lost it. They got the call from Garcia and Emily looked over at Kate. 

“You realize that we could have been there? We could have stopped that?”, Emily said.

“It wouldn’t have stopped that... we put everyone out there that we could.”, Kate said.

“No. We offered to be there. You just didn’t want to listen to us.”, Emily was starting to escalate and Hotch turned to her with an angry look on his face but trying to keep his cool.

“We did our best.”, Hotch said.

“No, we didn’t. We could’ve done a lot better!”, Emily said.

“We need to tackle _this_. We can’t change what just happened. We need to look at the profile differently.”, he told her.

“Seriously?! You’re really gonna go with her after she is practically responsible for that person getting killed?!”, Emily said.

“You need to bring it down.”, he said quietly, through his teeth. 

“People are dying, Hotch! And we could’ve stopped one of them. The only thing _you’re_ focusing on is _her!_ ”, Emily said.

He looked like he wanted to scream at her but instead stayed silent for a moment, thinking carefully about what he was going to say next. He knew the true meaning about the last part she had said and knew a big reason why she was _really_ upset about Kate. “Can I see you out in the hall... _Agent Prentiss_.”, he said.

She sighed and clenched her fists, walking out of the main office. He held the door for her and walked down the hall around a corner where nobody was. He stopped against the wall and looked at her with her arms crossed, copying her posture. She’d barely had a moment alone with him other than the night before and even _that_ was brief and she had walked away from him. He took a deep breath and changed his whole demeanor. He looked at her and she could see his vulnerability. 

“Are we okay?”, he asked. 

“What?”, she said.

“Should I be worried?”, he asked.

“About what?”, she asked.

“ _Us_.”, he said. She looked away and suddenly it came back to her. She’d forgotten about it for at least an hour but it came back. “Em, I’m done with this... thing that’s happening. I’m done with you ignoring me and snapping at me. I’m done with it. What’s really going on?”, he asked.

“I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”, she said.

“Well we’re going to.”, he said.

“Aaron, we’re working right now.”, she said, bringing her attention back to him.

“I don’t care right now. This is affecting your work _and_ mine. So tell me what’s going on. Is it about Kate?”, he asked, starting a fast battle of words. Each time he said one thing she either interrupted him or spoke immediately after, almost clogging her thoughts. 

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Nothing ever happened between us. It’s never been like that with us.”, he said.

“I know. That’s not the problem!”, she said.

“So there _is_ a problem. Is it me? Is it-“, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said

“Something I did or something-“, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“I said?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Are you having anxiety att-“, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“-acks?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Did something happen with Derek again?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“And you just don’t want to tell me?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Is it work?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Is it something with us living together?”, he said.

“ _No!_ ”, she said.

“Is it Haley?”, he said.

“ _No!_ ”, she said.

“Is it Jack?”, he said.

“ _No!_ ”, she said.

“I know it can be a lot to take on but-“, he said.

“ _No! Of course not. You know how much I love him_.”, she said.

He felt defeated and had no idea what else it could be and his tone got lower and he got quieter and she could hear his defeat.

“Is it me?”, he asked again.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Am I hovering? Am I-“, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Crowding you?”, he said.

“ _No_.”, she said.

“Then what is it, Em?! I don’t know what to do! I want to be there but you won’t tell me _what’s going on!_ Just let me in! I’m starting to just-“, he said before she cut him off.

She finally snapped and couldn’t hold it back anymore and let it out, “I’m pregnant!”

  
  



	59. New York pt. 2

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 59**

  
  
  


***this chapter is based on the episodes “lo-fi” and “mayhem” but once again, obviously skipped over some things and changed others.***

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“What?”, Hotch stopped moving and almost breathing. They stared each other straight in the eye, leaving him speechless. He finally found the words, still not knowing if there were any  _ right _ ones. “You’re- you’re _ pregnant? _ ”, he whispered the last part, almost with a look of pain all across his face.

“Aaron...”, she said, looking down.

“But... you’re on the pill...”, he said.

“Yeah, well... it’s not a hundred percent effective... thinking back... I missed a couple days recently. I just...”, she said.

“How do you know?”, he asked.

“I took a test. Twice.”, she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked, his voice becoming wobbly.

“It was only last night. We’re on a case right now. I was going to tell you when we got back home, I promise.”, she said.

They stared at each other for a moment and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t reciprocate at first but suddenly felt tears coming on and couldn’t deny she missed his touch. She finally wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could and buried her face in his chest. She started letting tears out uncontrollably and he brought a hand to the back of her head. He held her in place there and his other arm wrapped around her back. She gripped his suit when he kissed the top of her head and dropped his next to the side of hers.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’ve been so horrible to you.”, she sobbed.

“Shhh it’s okay, hun.”, he rubbed her back.

“It wasn’t you. I just took it out on you.”, she cried some more. “I wanted you by my side the most but instead I pushed you away and I don’t know why.”

“It’s okay.”, he hushed her, kissing the side of her head.

“I love you  _ so _ much. I’m so sorry.”, she couldn’t stop crying.

“I love you too, sweetie. It’s gonna be okay.”, he whispered in her ear.

After a couple minutes of holding each other, her crying it out and him letting a few tears of his own fall, they pulled back. She still had her arms around him and his hand on her back. He moved his other hand from the back of her head to tuck her hair behind her ear. He kept it placed on her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb. They pressed their foreheads together and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them, they looked up at each other and he placed his lips on hers. Having not felt the soft touch of them for a few days, she leaned into it until she felt her lip quivering again and tears in her eyes. She took her lips off his and bit her bottom and he pulled her back in, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“We’ll figure it out, okay?”, he said. She nodded her head. “I love you so much, Em.”, he sniffled, burying his face in her neck.

“I’m so sorry...”, she whispered.

“Don’t apologize... What do you need?”, he asked.

“Just this right now... but we have to go back in there.”, she said, pulling back. 

“I’m sorry...”, he said, looking down.

She placed her hand on his face and wiped a tear off. “Don’t be.”, she said.

“How did I not see it?”, he said, looking back up at her.

“I didn’t either.”, she said.

“I should’ve been there for you last night.”, he said. 

“You tried. I pushed you away.”, she said.

“You shouldn’t have had to do that alone.”, he said.

“I wasn’t. I had JJ. Don’t blame yourself, honey.”, she said.

“What can I do  _ now? _ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know...”, she said.

“You’re not going out in the field with Cooper.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“No, Emily. There’s people out there killing. I’m not letting you go out there when you’re...”, he placed his hand on her stomach and looked down.

“Aaron, nothing’s going to happen.”, she said, holding the back of his neck.

“I don’t care. I’m not putting you at risk. It was hard enough watching you do that before, let alone, being the one who orders you to. But now... with this... no. I can’t risk it.”, he shook his head.

“It’s my job.”, she said.

“You can stay here with Reid and work on the geographical profile.”, he said.

“Aaron, I’m going with Cooper.”, she said.

“Em,  _ please _ .”, he looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

“I’ll be fine.”, she said.

“What if something happens to you? What if you get hurt or something happens to...”, he looked down again with his hand still on her stomach.

She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, holding back tears before she brought his head back up to hers. She gave him a deep kiss. “Honey, I love you but I’m not staying here with Reid. I’ll be safe, okay? I promise.”, she said.

“I don’t like it.”, he said, pressing his forehead to hers while she rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’ll be fine.”, she said.

“You’re so stubborn sometimes.”, he laughed.

“It’s how I get what I want.”, she laughed.

He took her hand in his and kissed it before dropping them and bringing his lips to hers one last time before they pulled apart. 

“We’ll talk when we get home.”, he said and she nodded before they walked back in to face everybody else, pretending like he had just yelled at her for going off on Kate.

JJ went up to Emily as she walked back over to one of the desks to grab her pantsuit jacket. “Okay, so...”, JJ said.

“He knows.”, Emily whispered.

“He _ knows?!  _ You _ told him?! _ ”, JJ asked

“Yeah. He just kept asking me all these questions really fast and it just came out.”, Emily said.

“Well... what did he say? What happened?”, JJ asked.

“We both cried. A lot. He held me in his arms and I didn’t pull away this time even when we kissed. So  _ that’s _ good. He  _ did _ put his hand on my stomach and said he didn’t want me going out in the field and held it there for a while and... so that felt weird.”, Emily said.

“What did he  _ say?! _ ”, JJ asked again.

“He just told me how much he loves me, he feels bad he couldn’t be there last night, wonders how he couldn’t see it before, that it’d be okay, and we’ll figure it out when we get home.”, Emily said.

“So  _ are _ you going out in the field with Cooper today?”, JJ asked.

“ _ Yep _ . I’ll be careful but I’m not letting this stop me from doing my job unless I want to.”, Emily said, putting her jacket on.

“What did he have to say about that?”, JJ asked.

“He said he thought it was too risky for me and... but I refused and so he called me stubborn but gave me a kiss and I’m going so...”, Emily said, starting to walk over to Cooper. She turned back to JJ and said, “Thank you...”, with a smile.

Hotch came up to Emily and Cooper and gave him a look, letting him know to give them a minute. He crossed his arms and said, “Are you  _ sure _ about this? Because I can send Rossi out.”

“I’m  _ fine _ . I’ll check in with you when we get back.”, she said.

“Are you feeling sick right now?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said.

“When was the last time you ate?”, he asked.

“Aar- I’m okay. I’ll see you when we’re back, alright?”, she said. 

“Okay... please be safe.”, he nodded.

“I promise.”, she said before walking away and heading out with Cooper. 

Once they got to the subway, Emily and Cooper started walking around in it. She finally gained some more respect for him after she profiled him and he couldn’t admit he wasn’t impressed. They walked up to the street level and heard a gunshot, Garcia immediately giving them directions to where it came from. They ran in the direction of the shooter once they saw him and Cooper caught up to him first. When Emily heard another gunshot and saw him fall to the ground she made it around the corner and fired. She ran over and checked the shooter before running back to Cooper and tried to stop the bleeding before the ambulances got there. 

When the rest of the team showed up, she knew it was only a matter of time before Hotch ran over to her. But JJ made sure she was the first to do that.

“Emily, are you alright?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”, Emily said.

“Hotch is literally going to put you on desk duty until this whole... thing is figured out.”, JJ said. Emily looked down and tried to hold back tears, suddenly thinking about it again. “Emily... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up...”, JJ said.

“No. You’re right... he’s never going to let me go outside while on a case even if I’m not working.”, Emily tried to laugh.

JJ rubbed her shoulder and smiled before turning around to see Hotch walking over. Everyone was busy talking with each other and checking out the scene to notice him going up to Emily. 

“What the hell happened?!”, he asked her.

“I’m fine.”, she said.

“You’re _ fine?! _ Emily... that could have been you!”, he said.

“Aaron, keep your voice down.”, she whispered.

“Em, you said you were going to be careful and then you go and almost get yourself  _ shot _ and end up shooting somebody else!”, he whispered.

“I had to! He shot Cooper and had the gun pointed at me.”, she said.

“Exactly! He had a gun pointed at you! What if you had gotten shot? We don’t- we still haven’t talked about what we’re going to do... so what if you had gotten shot and we didn’t get to make that decision? Not to mention,  _ you _ would’ve been hurt regardless of the...”, he said, looking down at her stomach. 

“I’m fine. Everything is-“, she stopped, starting to feel sick.

“Em, are you going to throw up?”, he asked.

“There’s nowhere to-“, she put her hand to her mouth.

“Here, come on.”, he said, rushing her to the next alley over and down further in it. They were glad there was a dumpster that covered them as she ran up to the wall and leaned over. He held her hair and rubbed her back until she stood back up. He pulled out a tissue for her and she took it, wiping her mouth. “There’s one more reason why I carry those around.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she said, out of breath. 

“And you make fun of me for having them. Thinking I’m too sensitive and need them for whenever I cry.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah.”, she said.

“This is another reason why you should have stayed back.”, he said.

“Ugh shut up.”, she said.

“No. I will not. I love you too much. I will not stop trying to protect you.”, he smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Before she could bring her arms up to hug him back, she felt it coming back up again and pushed him off. “ _ Em _ . I thought we were o-“, he started and when she leaned over again and threw up some more, he finished his sentence, “...kayyy... Sorry, hun. I thought you-“, she cut him off by standing up again and glaring at him.

“ _ Shut. Up _ .”, she said, grabbing him and holding him tight. 

“Okay.”, he kissed the top of her head. They stood there for a minute before he said, “I’m sorry but I kind of have to speak now. Is that alright with you?”, he laughed. She pulled away and stared at him.

“Well? I’m  _ waiting _ .”, she said.

He laughed quietly and held her sides, bringing his hand to her face and kissing her forehead. “I was just going to say we should head back now if you’re feeling better. But if you want to just... throw some attitude my way... feel free. You have a free pass right now.”, he said. She smacked his shoulder and he laughed. “Ah!  _ Hey! _ I said throw some  _ attitude _ not  _ hands _ .”, he said.

“I can do that too.”, she said.

“Oh, I  _ know _ you can.”, he chuckled. 

“Do I  _ really _ have a free pass right now?”, she asked.

“Yes but  _ not _ ... to hit me again.”, he said.

“Just right now? Because I have a lot of things I wanna say but I have to think about ‘em.”, she giggled.

“You get a free pass for however long we’re going to go through this.”, he said more seriously, stroking her cheek. She looked away but he brought her back to him. “Sweetie, we’ll talk about it when we get home but we also can’t tiptoe around it right now either. Look what just happened. You threw up right after shooting someone. You can’t completely ignore it while we’re here.”, he said.

“You won’t even say the words...”, she said, looking down.

“I don’t know what words to use... some depend on what we’re doing. I don’t want to say...  _ baby _ if we aren’t... and the others just feel... I don’t know...”, he said, looking down with her.

“You can’t say  _ pregnant _ either. You completely avoid it. How am I supposed to not avoid the  _ topic _ when you can’t even form full sentences or  _ say the words? _ ”, she said.

“I’m sorry... I’m still in a bit of  _ shock _ , Em.”, he said.

“Yeah, well so am I. I’m the one who _ is pregnant _ after all. How do you think  _ I _ feel?”, she said.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean for it to seem insensitive, I just... I don’t know how to act. We weren’t planning this. It’s completely different when you are. I mean if I knew that we wanted this for sure, I’d know how to act, I’d be sure of what I’m feeling. Or if I knew for sure that this wasn’t what we want... it’d be a lot harder but I’d know better how to be there. But when we haven’t talked about it and I have no idea how you feel about this or what you’re thinking... I don’t know how to act. And I  _ want to know _ . I  _ want to talk about it _ . It’s the only thing on my mind right now. You and this whole situation is  _ all _ that’s on my mind right now but we don’t want to start that conversation here. Not right now. I want to be home with you when we talk about this. But... I’ll say one thing now. I’ll respect  _ whatever _ your decision is. I want to make it together but it’s  _ your _ body and your life too. I will do whatever you want. I am here  _ with _ you through this, okay? You’re not alone, I’m going through it with you, I’m  _ right _ by your side the  _ whole  _ way. No matter what. I love you so much and you’re the most important person and factor in this.  _ You _ come first. It’s all going to be okay... I love you so much, hun.”, he said and pulled her in for a hug again when she started crying and he whispered in her ear, “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I keep thinking I know what I want but then I change my mind and... I don’t know what’s right. Or at least what’s right for  _ us _ .”, she said. 

“Just don’t try to make a decision right now. Let’s just focus on our work as much as possible and we’ll sit down when we get home and talk about it, okay? Can we do that for another day or two or however long we’re here?”, he asked.

She nodded and gripped him tighter. “Thank you.”, she said.

“But... can you do one thing for me?”, he asked.

“What?”, she asked.

“Can you stay at the Field Office the rest of the time we’re here instead of going out like you just did today?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I think I can do that.”, she sniffled and let out a half laugh.

“ _ Thank you. _ .. you scared the  _ shit _ out of me. Not letting that happen again.”, he said.

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“No, no. Don’t. I’m just glad you’re okay.”, he said.

“JJ predicted that. She said you were gonna put me on desk duty until this whole... thing is over... whatever that means or whenever that is.”, she said.

“Well, she’s right. You’re not going out in the field until this is figured out.”, he said.

“ _ Aaron _ ...”, she said.

“I’m not playing around, Emily! That’s an actual order this time. You’re...  _ pregnant _ ... I’m not even letting JJ out in the field when we get back. I’m sorry but... I’m not putting you in danger again. I shouldn’t have let you be out here today.”, he said.

“We should get back now...”, she said, pulling away. 

He sighed, “Alright but we’re going straight back to the Field Office. I’ll have JJ take you.” She nodded and he kissed her forehead. 

They walked back over to everyone, still too busy to notice them. JJ walked over and pulled out a piece of gum for Emily. 

“How’d you know?”, Emily asked.

“You’re not the only one.”, JJ said.

“JJ can you ride back to the Field Office with her?”, Hotch asked.

“Sure.”, she said.

“Oh and... she’s not coming back out here. If she tries to leave...”, Hotch started.

“Got it.”, JJ winked and Emily rolled her eyes.

He watched them walk away and get in the SUV, feeling like  _ he _ was about to throw up. 

When Emily and JJ got back to the Field Office, they sat down at the long table next to the giant board with pictures all over it and the work Reid had done on the geographical profile. JJ got Emily a bottle of water and looked at the board. 

“What are we missing...?”, JJ said.

“I don’t know...”, Emily sighed.

  
  


Hours later, they were all working every angle trying to figure out the main goal for the unsubs. They realized they must be planning something big and when they did they would take out first responders after the initial attack.

“Alright, it’s dark out and we need to get ahead of this tonight.”, Hotch said and gave orders to everyone for where they would go and walked over to Emily. “And  _ you _ are staying here.”

“Can I actually go to the hospital to check on Cooper? It’s not dangerous to do that.”, she said.

“ _ Em _ ...”, he whispered.

“ _ Aaron _ ...”, she repeated to him.

“Fine. But don’t think about doing anything else that could get you hurt.”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes sir.”, she laughed.

“Alright, go. Kate and I will go to the mayor, you come back here right after, do you hear me?”, he said.

“Yes. Sir.”, she giggled.

“ _ Emily _ ...”, he said.

“Okay, fine. I’m going.”, she said, grabbing the keys. “I love you.”, she whispered when no one was looking.

“Love you too. Be safe.”, he whispered back, rubbing his temples, stressed

out of his mind.

As everyone left to go to their designated place for the case, all Hotch could think about was Emily... right up until the bomb.

Emily had just checked on Cooper at the hospital and was headed back to the Field Office when she heard over the radios and news about the bombing near the Federal Plaza. Before she could dial Garcia’s number, she called Emily herself. 

“Is everybody alright?!”, Emily asked.

“So far I’ve only heard from you, Derek, and Reid...”, Garcia said.

“Nothing from JJ?”, Emily asked.

“No. She won’t pick up but her phone is still on.”, Garcia said.

Emily paused, too scared to ask about Hotch next. “...And Hotch?”, Emily asked.

“His phone is out of service...”, Garcia said.

Emily bit her lip hard to keep from crying over the phone especially while driving. “Okay, you just keep trying them and I’ll be back any minute.”, Emily hung up right away. She refused to let out any tears but it was harder than she thought. 

Once she got back to the Field Office, she ran in and looked all over for Hotch and JJ. She spotted Spencer and rushed to hug him. “Where the hell is JJ and Hotch?”, she asked.

“I don- well, there’s JJ.”, Spencer pointed.

Emily turned around and JJ walked over to them, hugging Emily. “Where is he?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know... he’s not here or at the mayor’s?”, JJ asked.

“He’s not  _ here _ ... and his phone is out of service... Garcia tried him and so did I three times.”, Emily said. 

“We’ll find him, okay?”, JJ said.

“JJ... it was a black SUV near Federal Plaza.”, Emily said, tearing up, watching JJ’s face freeze, knowing it wasn’t good.

“ _ We’ll find him _ .”, JJ repeated after a long pause.

After a couple hours of not hearing anything from Hotch, Derek called them. He told them how he went to help Hotch and Kate instead of coming back to the Field Office. 

“Morgan’s alright.”, Emily said. JJ walked over and looked at Emily. “What? What is it? Where is he?”, Emily asked. 

“Him and Kate are at the hospital. He’s in the E.R. and she’s in surgery...”, JJ said. Emily got up fast and grabbed her FBI jacket. “No. Emily, you can’t go. We’re in the middle-“, JJ said, blocking Emily.

“JJ, I love you but if you don’t move, I will move you myself.”, Emily said. She stepped aside and let Emily run out the building and drive to the hospital. 

She ran into the E.R. and showed her credentials to the nurse at the counter. “FBI. Where’s Agent Hotchner?”, she asked, blood pumping so hard, she was shaking.

“Right over here, he’s not being cooperative.”, he said, opening the curtain to find Hotch standing up and taking all the wires off his chest and everything he was hooked up to.

“Agent Hotchner, I need you to lie down.”, the nurse said.

“Where are my clothes, please?”, he yelled, turning to face Emily. “Em.”

The nurse looked over at her and nodded once, walking away. She stepped closer to him and closed the curtain, already crying. 

“Aaron!”, she said, running into his arms that were wide open for her. 

“Em... thank god you’re okay.”, he breathed. 

“Thank god  _ I’m _ okay? You practically got blown up!”, she said, squeezing him tight.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.”, he said, holding her close. “Where is everybody else?”

“All back at the Field Office except Derek, doing whatever- listen I don’t care about that, I care about  _ you _ right now!”, she said and pulled back. She put her hands on his cut up face and looked at the blood from his ears. “Honey, what  _ happened _ to you?”, she rolled her lips in.

He took one of her hands and held it with his against his chest. “I’m okay.”, he said.

“No, you’re not! Look at you! You’re all cut up and bleeding and... you’re in a hospital gown, hooked up to wires! You’re not okay!”, she cried. 

He wiped the tears off her face and pulled her in for a kiss, breaking for air. “I’m okay, hun. I’m still breathing, I’m standing, I’m fine.”, he said.

“Shut up. You’re so reckless and give me shit for almost getting shot when you just got blown up! I cant believe you. You- you- arghh!”, she said.

“Free pass?”, he asked.

“Yes. As long as it still applies.”, she pouted.

“It does.”, he said, giving her another kiss. “I love you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”, he laughed.

“Stop! It wasn’t funny the first time you said it after you got shot and it’s not funny  _ now! _ ”, she said.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Will you ever forgive me?”, he asked, kissing her.

“I’ll think about it. I’m still mad at you.”, she said stubborn and dragging him by his hands to sit both of them down on the bed.

“Come here.”, he said, pulling her closer and leaning her head on his shoulder. “I am not going to die on you.”, he said.

“But you  _ could’ve _ . You almost  _ did _ .”, she said.

“But I  _ didn’t _ . That’s the important part.”, he said.

“I had to watch the video of it... Do you know what that did to me?”, she asked.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”, he said.

“If we decided to... have a baby... decided to keep it...”, she looked down, “... and you weren’t okay... what would I have done?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... that’s why we need to talk when we get home... Are you... thinking of maybe... keeping it?”, he asked and for the first time since she told him, she could tell what he wanted by the way he said it. She could hear the way the pitch of his voice went up and she could feel him smile just the tiniest bit with his head rested on hers.

“I don’t know... it’s obviously crossed my mind...”, she said.

He put his hand that wasn’t around her back, on her stomach and kissed her head. “We could  _ do _ this... We could  _ have this baby _ .”, he said.

“I don’t know, Aaron...”, she said.

“You’d be an  _ amazing _ mother, Em. You’re already so great with Jack and-.”, he said.

“I’m  _ not _ his mother.”, she said.

“I  _ know that _ . But you’re so good with him and... we could do it...”, he said. 

“There’s so much more to consider other than the fact that I love Jack and I’m  _ good with him. _ ”, she said.

“I  _ know that. _ I’m just saying... maybe this could be a really good thing.”, he said.

Emily sat up and looked at him. “Is this something you’ve thought about before? Us having a family?”, she asked.

He looked down for a moment and said quietly, “Yeah... I’ve thought about it a little... Have you  _ not? _ ”, he asked, bringing his head back up.

She rolled her lips in and put her hand on his that was on her stomach. “I have... but not for right now.”, she said.

“That doesn’t mean we  _ couldn’t _ right now.”, he said.

“Maybe it does though... Look at our lives... Things are finally stable between us other than this. Jack is doing good with the new arrangements, we’re living together, I’m friends with Haley, work is good... Why should we throw something else into the mix?”, she asked.

“Because  _ things are finally stable _ .”, he said.

“I want to be able to  _ enjoy _ that.”, she said.

“You don’t think that you could if you had a baby?”, he asked.

“I’m just not sure... Is this what  _ you _ want?”, she said.

“You really want to know what I want?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she said.

“I want you to be happy. That’s the number one thing for me. That’s the most important thing for me. But out of the two main options that we’re looking at... I’d love to have another kid... especially with  _ you _ ... but it’s your body. And I’m okay with whatever you decide. I will support you no matter what. I will love you no matter what. If you don’t want to do this, that’s okay. I just want you to be happy.”, he said.

“You wouldn’t be mad if I decided I  _ didn’t _ want this?”, she asked.

“God, honey, no. Of course not. I understand if that’s what you want.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked, starting to tear up.

“Sweetie... I could never be mad at you for any decision you make.”, he said, wiping her tears away. “Is that what you’re leaning towards?”

“I don’t know.”, she said, sobbing.

“Okay. It’s okay. It’s  _ okay _ , hun.”, he said, pulling her back into him and stroking her hair. 

After a couple minutes, Emily got a text from JJ letting her know that they were all just a few minutes away from the hospital. 

“Okay, I love you. Let me grab your clothes real quick.”, she said, giving him a kiss and walking over to the nurses station and grabbing his belongings. “He said you’re good to go but here’s some paperwork and a report for you. You can’t go out in the field until you get home and get checked by a doctor.”, she said, scratching the back of his head.

“Em, we’ve been looking at the profile all wrong. I know what we’ve got to do and I can’t just sit back and not go in. Kate and I are in here because of those people. I’m not about to stand by.”, he said, standing up, slipping on his pants. 

“Aaron, no.”, she said as he took his hospital gown off and put his shirt on. He grabbed his tie and she stepped over, doing it for him and he grabbed his suit jacket. Before he could put it on, he felt dizzy and everything became blurry and he stopped. “Aaron?”

“Emily, I am going with every-“, he started. Before he could finish, he grabbed onto a tray on a stand and everything went out of focus for him.

“Aaron, you need to sit back down, okay?”, Emily said, reaching for him.

“No. I- I’m fi-“, and before he could finish his sentence, he lost balance on the tray and knocked it over, tumbling on the ground himself.

“Aaron!”, she said, bending down, holding his head up. “You are so stubborn!” 

“Em, I’m sorry but I-“, he tried to speak but he couldn’t finish getting words out and just leaned his head back in her hands. 

She opened the curtain and saw JJ walking up, hearing the rest of the team close behind. JJ gave her a panicked look to get up. “The rest of the team is here now but I love you, okay?”, she said to him. She rested his head on the ground and called over a nurse, trying to look completely innocent with Hotch as everyone came over. 

“What happened?”, Spencer asked.

“I got it from here, Agent.”, the nurse said, allowing her to stand up and walk over to them.

“He collapsed. He’s trying to join us with... but I don’t think that’s gonna-“, she started before she turned around when the nurse started speaking.

“Agent Hotchner, you need to get in the bed and lie down.”, he said.

“I’m fine! And I’m coming with you guys. Just... give me a minute.”, Hotch said, standing up and fixing the gauze in his ears. 

“Hotch, you need to stay here.”, Emily said. 

“I’m good. I’m good.”, he said, walking over to them, grabbing a vest from Rossi and putting it on.

They looked at the computer and watched the tape of the explosion again, breaking Emily’s heart. They all gathered their things and got ready to find the unsub while Derek went around to search for the bomb. While everyone was walking off with their guns drawn, Hotch stopped Emily and gave her a look.

“Aaron, don’t start. If you’re going in, so am I. Don’t fight me on this.”, she said.

“You really-“, he started.

“Yep. I know. I could say the same about you.”, she said, walking away. 

They chased down an unsub and Derek got rid of the bomb, ending everything. Afterwards, Hotch went to check on Kate and got to the O.R. only for the surgeon to tell him that they did everything they could. He went over to her and covered her up, spending one last moment with her before he walked outside of the E.R. and saw Emily alone waiting for him by a bench.

“Honey, what happened? Is she okay?”, she asked.

They both opened their arms wide for each other and he buried his face in her neck and hair. He started crying like she hadn’t heard before. She stroked the back of his neck and hushed him.

“I couldn’t help her.”, he cried. “I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t-“

“You did everything you could. Shhh...”, she said.

“Em, she’s gone because of me.”, he said, sniffling.

“No sweetie, that was because of the  _ unsubs _ . This wasn’t your fault.”, she said.

“Can we just leave?”, he asked, pulling back, her wiping his tears away.

“Yes.”, she gave him a kiss and put her arm around him. “Stay in  _ my _ room tonight.”, she said. 

They got back to the hotel and he went to her room after he changed into his pajamas. They got in bed right away and he curled up behind her. He kissed her shoulder and dropped his head over it, resting it against hers. He brought his arm over her side and placed his hand on her stomach and kissed her neck. 

“I love you so much, Em... No matter what happens, it’s gonna be okay.”, he whispered.

She placed her hand on top of his on her stomach and stroked it. “I love you too.”, she whispered, both of them drifting off to sleep.

  
  



	60. Decisions

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 60**

  
**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**   
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Emily waited at home for Hotch to get back from New York. While she and the rest of the team had flown back, Derek was driving Hotch home because of his ears and not being able to withstand the air pressure on a plane.

Emily grew tired of waiting after a few hours and knew it would still be a while till he was back. She took a shower, having not taken one since the morning before, she felt disgusting. After she was all clean, she got in bed and fell asleep fast. Only an hour later, her phone rang and she reached over for it without opening her eyes or sitting up.

“Prentiss.”, she said, still groggy.

“Hey, sweetie, did I wake you up?”, Hotch asked.

“Aaron?”, she asked.

“No. It’s your other boyfriend.”, he laughed.

“Oh, good. I was kind of getting sick of the one I live with.”, she mumbled into the side of her pillow.

“That’s too bad. I hear he’s a pretty cool guy.”, he chuckled.

“Eh. He’s alright.”, she said.

“Oh, well, how about I come over later then?”, he said.

“Only if you’re willing to give me a back rub and pick up some ginger ale?”, she half asked, half _told him._

“Whatever you want.”, he said.

“Then... yeah, I guess you could come over.”, she laughed.

“How are you feeling, hun?”, he asked, serious again but still soft with her.

“Mmm I took a shower and got in bed for... what time is it?”, she asked, stretching and letting out a yawn.

“Almost 4:00.”, he said.

“Then I’ve been in bed for about an hour.”, she said.

“You need more rest. Have you gotten sick at all?”, he asked.

“Only once and I know. I was _trying_ to but someone called me and woke me up.”, she said.

“I’m sorry! I’ll let you go back to sleep.”, he said.

“No, not yet. I wanna talk to you. Your voice is very soothing.”, she said.

“Alright. I’m here.”, he said and she could hear his smile.

“You guys must be stopped somewhere if you’re able to talk to me right now.”, she said.

“Yeah, we just stopped for gas and Derek’s inside McDonald’s, grabbing us some food. I told him I wanted to stay outside for some fresh air.”, he said.

“Oh, McDonald’s, huh? You _never_ eat there.”, she said.

“Yeah, well, it’s the only thing nearby and I’m starving. The fries are a guilty pleasure, what can I say? I almost got blown up yesterday. I think I deserve a little treat.”, he said.

“God, stop reminding me.”, she said.

“I’m sorry... Have you talked to Haley at all?”, he asked.

“Yeah, she called me a few hours ago to check in. She said you guys spoke a little bit. She put Jack on the phone to say _hi_.”, she said.

“Aww. He was down for a nap when I talked to her, how is he?”, he chuckled.

“Haley didn’t tell him what happened, obviously, so, he was just his regular self. He said he wants to show us a drawing he made when we see him this weekend though.”, she laughed. “That is... if you’re up for having him over this weekend. Haley said she’d totally understand if you don’t feel well enough.”

“No, definitely. I’m alright. I want to see him.”, he said.

“Okay, good. Because he sounded _really_ excited about this drawing. He said it was of all of us. As in, you, him, Haley, and I.”, she laughed.

“That’s too cute. I hope he doesn’t ask us to guess which ones are each of us. He’s not that advanced yet. When he draws me, I still look like a potato.”, he laughed.

“Stop! That’s so mean.”, she laughed some more.

“He’s almost 3, what do you expect!”, he said.

“Well, _I_ think it’s sweet. No kid has ever included me in one of their unidentifiable drawings before.”, she said. All of a sudden, Hotch was silent. “Aaron? Are you still there?”

“Yeah. Mmhmm.”, he said. She could hear him sniffle over the phone and knew what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t think that would...”, she started.

“It’s fine. I just... had put it out of my mind for a little.”, he said.

“What exactly are you thinking about right now?”, she asked, knowing it had something to do with the pregnancy.

“I really don’t want to-“, he started but she cut him off.

“Aaron, it’s okay. We need to talk about this stuff. I need to know things you think of and feel about it.”, she said. He took a deep breath and sighed.

“It just made me think of... silly unidentifiable drawings you _could_ be included in that aren’t _just_ by Jack... if we... decide to have it... decided to have a baby... another kid to make drawings of _you_ where _you_ look like a potato...”, he said quietly. 

“I _thought_ that’s where your mind went...”, she said.

“So yours went there _too_...”, he said.

“After I said it, yes...”, she said.

“What does that mean for _you?_ ”, he asked.

“ _I don’t know._..”, she said.

“I know...”, he sighed.

“Listen, honey, I wanna have this talk but not like this. And also, all I can think about is you in bed, curled up next to me right now.”, she said.

“I know... I’m sorry.”, he said.

“How much longer do you have?”, she asked

“Maybe 3 more hours? I miss you. I’m sorry I’m not there right now but I’ll pick up some ginger ale and definitely make sure you get a backr- oh uh, listen, honey, he’s coming back but I’ll text you when we’re close. I love you _so_ much. I’ll be home soon.”, he said.

“Okay, I love you too. _Please_ drive safe.”, she said.

“I promise.”, he said.

“Okay, bye.”, she hung up.

After Emily hung up, she fell back asleep. A few hours later, Hotch got back home and set his briefcase down on the table in the living room and ginger ale he picked up in the fridge. He walked into the bedroom and he placed his bag on the ground and took his suit jacket off. 

He walked over to Emily, who was sound asleep and bent down. He stroked her hair and gave her forehead a kiss, waking her up slowly. Once she opened her eyes, her lips turned up and she reached for his arm, pulling him closer.

“Hi.”, she smiled with a cute, sleepy charm.

“ _Hi_.”, he said, giving the tip of her nose a kiss.

“You just get back?”, she asked.

“Yeah and I got you your ginger ale.”, he said.

“Mmm thank you, sweetie.”, she said, closing her eyes. 

“I’ll go get you a glass now. Have you eaten since you’ve been back?”, he asked.

“Ummm... does a few crackers count?”, she asked.

“No. No, it does not. I’m making you something. What do you want?”, he asked.

“Maybe just chicken noodle soup.”, she said.

“That’s _it?_ ”, he asked.

“I’m not starving.”, she said.

“You need to eat more than that especially if you’re pregnant.”, he said.

“Wow, you actually said it without pause.”, she said.

“Em, _seriously_. You gotta eat more right now.”, he said.

“That’s all I’m hungry for.”, she said.

“Fine. But you have to finish it.”, he said.

“ _Fine_.”, she said.

“Alright, you just rest and be beautiful and I’ll go make dinner and bring you your drink. Is there anything else you need?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she said, pulling him in by his tie and guiding his lips to hers.

“Anything else?”, he smiled.

“Yes.”, she said repeating what she’d just done but with tongue, surprising him.

“Whoa, someone’s a little-“, he started before she grabbed him again.

“Get up here.”, she said.

He paused for a moment, thinking it through, if it was a good idea or not with everything going on. But she _wanted_ him and this was the longest period of time they’d gone without sex since they’d been with each other. It’d been over a week and he felt like he _needed_ it. He kicked off his shoes and climbed on top of her quick.

“I missed you.”, she said, running her hand down his arm.

“I missed you too.”, he said, leaning down for a kiss.

When she started to undo his tie, he could already feel himself getting hard. She helped unbutton and untuck his shirt after and he slid it off, going for her tank top, pulling it over her head and returning to her lips. Before he knew it, she tugged him forward by his belt and unbuckled it. He finally kicked his pants off and went for her shorts while kissing her slow. She reached down and got his boxers down till he kicked them off to the side as well. He took his time with his hands moving up and down her sides and playing underneath her shorts. She was getting impatient and broke their kiss to redirect him.

“Oh my god, Aaron! Just take my shorts off and fuck me already!”, she said.

“I just thought it’d be nice to take it slow right now.”, he said.

“Okay well, I need you _now_ so take them off!”, she said.

He grabbed her waistband and yanked her shorts down. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. His body rubbed against her, causing them both to moan before he lined himself up and pushed in.

“Oh shit...”, he said.

“Fuck...”, she gasped, throwing her head back.

“Oh god, you feel _so good_ , Em. Ah it feels like it’s been so long.”, he moaned.

“ _Too_ long.”, she said as he bottomed out.

“I’ve missed this.”, he breathed, starting to move in and out of her slowly.

“Me too.”, she breathed, pulling him down for a kiss and broke it to whisper in his ear. “Now _fuck me_.”

He went slow at first until she grabbed his hair and pulled him tight against her body and moaned in his ear. “Aaron, I said _fuck me_ . I need you to _fuck me. Harder_.”, she said.

“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if it’s safe.”, he said.

“It’s fine. You’re fine. Just... _harder. Please_.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I’m about to stop if you don’t just- come on!”, she said.

With that, he pulled out almost all the way and slammed in hard, making her catch her breath. He was worried maybe it was too much until she smiled and bit her lip, letting him know to keep going. He slammed into her again, over and over, bringing his lips down to hers and moaning into them. He bit her bottom lip and she whimpered, “Ah, fuck, yes.”

“This what you wanted?”, he asked out of breath, going harder and faster.

“Yes, just like that. Oh god, ahh yes yes yes.”, she whined.

“Fuck, Em.”, he grunted, bringing his lips down to her neck. He started out just sucking on it until he let his teeth make contact with her skin. 

“Mmmmm.”, she moaned, running her fingers through his hair.

“Shit, Em, I’m gonna come.”, he grunted, going harder and faster.

“Ahh fuck! Right there! Oh god, don’t stop! Aaron, please! I’m so close, please, ooooo, fuck me harder, babe.”, she moaned.

“Em, I can’t hold off, I-“, before he knew it, he came. “Ah fuck! Jesus Christ, Em! Fuck, yes! Arghh.”, he grunted, pounding into her, coming over and over again. Before he finished riding out his high, he brought his hand down and started rubbing her in just the right spot when she reached her own climax within seconds. 

“Ahh! Yes! Oh my god! Fuck yes! Oh shit! Ahh Aaron!”, she screamed, digging her fingers into his back and running them through hair, tugging it tight. She pulled him in, stronger than he expected, for a kiss and used more tongue than he’d expected. 

“Oh my god, Emily. That-“, he tried to catch his breath.

“Was way overdue.”, she laughed.

“Yes.”, he said. She placed her hand on his face and looked deep in his eyes and before she could say it, he beat her to it. “I love you so much, hun.”

“It’s like you read my mind.”, she said. 

“We just think alike.”, he said, pulling out of her. He pulled the sheets up more, covering them and closer to her till their bodies almost pressed against each other. He tucked her hair behind her ear and kept his hand placed on her face. He leaned his face into hers and they melted into each other until he felt her lip quivering and pulled his back. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?”, he asked, stroking her cheek.

“I don’t know. I think it’s just the hormones.”, she said, suddenly crying.

“Oh, sweetie.”, he chuckled, throwing his arm over and pulling her into him, holding her close against his body. Their warm skin touching as he kissed her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”, she cried.

“Shh. Don’t be sorry. You can’t control it. It’s okay.”, he smiled, thinking it was so sweet how emotional she got. “ _I’m_ sorry I finished so early. I tried to hold on but-“, he said.

“I was right behind you, it’s okay. It had been a while for both of us.”, she said.

“I’m glad I know why though. I was beginning to think you _were_ getting sick of me.”, he chuckled.

“No. Never. I will _never_ be sick of you. I love you more than anything.”, she said.

“Em... we need to talk about it.”, he said.

“I know.”, she whispered, nuzzling her head against his.

“Let me go get you a drink and I’ll put some soup on to cook, okay?”, he asked.

She nodded and he kissed her forehead when he pulled back before getting up and pulling his boxers on. She put her shorts and tank top back on and went out to the table when the soup was done.

She finished all of it just like he told her she had to and he took her hand and guided them over to the couch where they sat down. She sat with her legs crossed, facing him with one of his on the couch and a hand rubbing her thigh.

“I know we talked a little already but I want to hear more of what you think.”, he said.

“I’ve thought a lot about this and... I don’t want to sound so blunt and straight to the point but... I can’t have a baby right now.”, she said as she watched his face drop.

“You seem really sure. I- I thought you were considering it...”, he said.

“I was considering all my options, yes and I’ve thought really hard about it but I keep coming back to the same decision I feel I need to make.”, she said.

“You said _need_ . Does that mean it’s not what you _want?_ ”, he asked.

“It doesn't matter what I want to do. It matters what I _need_ to do.”, she said.

“Of course it matters what you want. That counts for something.”, he said.

“I know but I can’t let that cloud my judgement right now.”, she said.

“Cloud your judgement? That’s part of the decision though. You decide if this is something you want to do and that helps you make your decision.”, he said.

“No. I had to think practically about this. Realistic.”, she said.

“Let me ask you this. Put aside _practical_ and _realistic_ . If it only mattered on what you _want_ , then what would that be?”, he asked.

“Please...”, she said.

“Emily, what would you want? What do you want?”, he asked.

“I can’t-“, she started.

“ _Emily_. What do you want?”, he asked.

“I wanna keep it! Okay?! That’s what I _want_ . But I _can’t_ . _We_ can’t...”, she snapped.

She saw tears forming in his eyes and him clenching his jaw to hold them back. “But we _could_ . We _could_ have this baby. _We could do it_.”, he said.

“No.”, she shook her head.

“Why _not?_ ”, he asked.

“Because it _is_ unrealistic. It wouldn’t work out for so many reasons.”, she said.

“Like what? I can’t think of one that we couldn’t work out.”, he said.

“A main one... our jobs.”, she said.

“I could take time off!”, he said, bouncing on the couch a couple times closer to her and taking her hand in his. “I can be there!”

“No, you’re the _Unit Chief._ They _need_ you. You didn’t take time off when _Jack_ was born. What’s different about now?”, she asked.

“Things were different then. Haley was practically already a stay at home mom before she even had Jack. I should have taken time off though. But I learned from that. And I can do better this time.”, he said.

“What’s that gonna look like to Haley and Jack when you take time off for another baby? Not to mention, having it live with you and not _just_ on the weekends like Jack. Don’t you think he’ll wonder why this other kid gets to live full time with their dad but he _doesn’t?_ I’m not saying that these things matter but how it might look to Haley... we aren’t married, we’ve been together not _nearly_ as long as you guys were-“, she said.

“You’re _right_ . It _doesn’t_ matter if we’re married or have been together for _years_ . You’ve thought about us having a family before, _I love you_ , Jack could have a little sister or little brother, we-“, he said before she cut him off.

“Aaron! We’d have to give up so much! We’d either have to limit things at work, quit, or decide to not see our own child that much because we’d be too busy. I grew up like that. I don’t want _my_ kid- _our_ kid to grow up like that either.”, she said.

“What if they didn’t have to?”, he asked.

“You’re really saying you’d quit your job?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... _maybe_ . Maybe I _would_.”, he said.

“No... I couldn’t let you do that. And _I_ don’t wanna do that. I’m not ready to give up everything I have right now. Why would you possibly want to do that?”, she asked.

“Because! I’d do anything for our kid. I’ve already reached really far in my career. I don’t know if I’m going to advance any more than this. I’ve gotten a lot out of it and _yes_ I still enjoy doing it but it wouldn’t be holding me back from doing anything else.”, he said.

“But it would hold _me_ back. I _haven’t_ reached really far in my career. I _can_ advance more than this and I’d like to get more out of it. But I can’t do that if I have a baby right now, Aaron. I _want_ to but it’s _not realistic._ ”, she said.

She saw tears forming in his eyes again. He scooted closer and brought her legs to lay across his lap. He put his arm around her back and his other hand on her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested them on his shoulder. When he buried his face in her chest, she stroked the back of his head and he let out more than just a few tears. She kissed the top of his head and rested hers on it. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie...”, she said.

He rubbed her stomach side to side and placed a kiss on her shoulder. “Don’t apologize. I told you I’d support you with whatever decision you made and I meant it.”, he said.

“I’m just not ready to be a mom.”, she whispered.

“I know. But just so you know... you’d be an amazing one. And you _will be_ if you decide that’s what you want later.”, he said.

“It is.. I was always unsure until now.”, she said.

“What changed?”, he mumbled into her chest with his eyes closed, trying to stop the tears.

“You.”, she whispered.

He finally pulled back and looked at her. “What?”, he asked. 

She wiped the tears off of his face and kissed him. “ _You_ . I found _you_ again. I always thought that I would know if I wanted kids or not when I met the right guy.”, she said.

“And now you know?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I want to have a family with you but I can’t have a _baby right now_.”, she said.

“You _do?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Yes_ . I can’t see myself with anybody but _you_ , you’re an amazing father already, and I _love you_. We’ve already started a life together and that’s another thing I can advance more in and get more out of. So... I’m not done building our relationship.”, she said.

“This is what you need to do.”, he reminded himself.

“Yes.”, she said.

He put his face back on her chest and nodded his head. “Okay.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked.

“ _Of course_. I told you... I can’t be mad at you for any decision you make. I’m upset that we aren’t going to do this but I’m not upset with you or disappointed in you or mad at you.”, he said.

“I hope you know this was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I don’t want you to think I just-“, she said before he cut her off.

“I know, hun. It’s okay. You’re doing what’s right for you. You’re the number one most important factor here, okay?”, he said.

“I love you.”, she said, dropping her head next to his.

“I know, I love you too.”, he said.

They held each other, crying until they were both exhausted and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She swung her legs off his lap and got up, running to the bathroom. Knowing what was happening, he followed her. He held her hair and rubbed her back until there was nothing left and he pulled her back against his chest as they sat down on the floor against the wall and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her neck and she leaned into him more.

“Thank you...”, she said.

“I’m here for you no matter what. Can I ask you a question?”, he said.

“Alright...”, she said, hoping it wasn’t anything else to do with why she wouldn’t have a baby then.

“Have you thought of what you’re going to do after? Are you going to go back on the pill or...”, he asked.

“Well... I like being able to do what we do and I think I missed a couple days of the pill so to make sure I don’t miss any again and so we don’t necessarily have to use condoms every time or pull out... I could get an IUD. They’re really effective and I wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting to take a pill.”, she said.

“I think if that’s what you want to do, then you should do it. But I’d also be fine using condoms or pulling out too if you feel more comfortable with that.”, he said.

“Well, there’s still a greater risk I think doing that then getting an IUD so.”, she said.

“Alright, then do that. Just let me know whatever I can do to make you feel more comfortable.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“You always do.”, she said.

“We should probably call a clinic and make an appointment soon.”, he said.

“Yeah... how about tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Okay... yeah... we can do that tomorrow...”, he said. 

He helped her up and she brushed her teeth, following with mouthwash. They got in bed and he held her close, rubbing her back up and down and letting her cry into his shoulder, falling asleep in the same position.

  
  


The next morning, they woke up in each other’s arms, squeezing each other tight. Hotch got out of bed after giving Emily a kiss and went to make coffee. Once he had a cup, he came back in their room and picked up the phone. 

“Can we call now? I don’t know when else throughout the day we’ll have time to.”, he said.

“Yeah. That’s fine.”, she said.

He handed the phone to Emily for her to give her personal information to make an appointment for an exam. Once she got off the phone she looked at Hotch and sighed.

“The soonest time they have is today at 3:00 so I took it.”, she said.

“Alright. What’s the address?”, he asked.

“What? No, I have to call out today. If you don’t go to work either...”, she said.

“Em, you’re not going alone. I don’t care what you say, I’m not letting you do this alone, okay? I know you need someone there and I don’t want to not be there. I’ll go to work and just leave early.”, he said.

“I can’t let you-“, she started.

“Honey, I’m going with you. End of discussion. Whether you want me in the room or not, is up to you but I can’t let you go there alone.”, he said.

“You _do_ realize that I’m not actually having it today, right? It’s just an exam.”, she said.

“Yeah but it’s scary right now. Everything is scary and emotional. I couldn’t stand not being with you and it wouldn’t be right to leave you to do that on your own.”, he said.

“Okay, fine.”, she said.

“Now let me make you breakfast.”, he said.

Emily stayed home while Hotch went to work. Once he set everything down, he walked into JJ’s office.

“Hey, where’s Emily?”, she asked as Hotch closed the door.

“So she didn’t talk to you?”, he asked.

“No... is she okay?”, JJ asked.

Hotch walked over and sat down in one of the chairs at JJ’s desk. “We made a decision.”, he said.

“Oh... I’m sorry.”, she said.

“Yeah, uh, so she has an appointment today, not for _that_ but just for one they have to do before. Just an exam but I’m going to have to leave early today. So if you could just... make sure everything runs smoothly?”, he said.

“Yeah... of course. Is there anything else I can do?”, she asked.

“Just keep your phone on in case she needs you? I’m surprised she hasn’t called yet. Although, I guess there wasn’t much time last night but she might call you at some point today so...”, Hotch said.

“Alright.”, she nodded. “Aaron... how are _you_ with this?”, she asked.

“It doesn’t really matter how I am with it. She’s the most important factor here as I keep telling her.”, he said.

“Sure, she gets to make the final decision and has that right and is lucky to have your support but you have feelings about it too... so... how are you with this?”, she asked.

“I told her I wanted to keep it.”, he said.

“Really...?”, she said.

“Yeah... She said she did too but... it’s just not realistic for her right now. She said she wants to eventually but I have no idea when that is. I think the only thing that’s holding me together right now is... she said she wants to have a family with me... I- I know it sounds crazy but... I want the same thing. I want to have another kid or two with her, I want a family with her... I want to marry her... I truly believe that we _were_ meant to be together no matter how many times she tells me how cheesy that is. It’s true. So knowing that this woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with and have a family with wants to do... what she’s doing... hurts... _a lot_ . But I can’t be upset at her or mad at her for this. I know she’s doing what’s right for her and what she needs and that’s all that matters to me because whether or not she wants kids or wants to get married or _whatever_ ... as long as I have her in my life, by my side, that’s all I need... even though I _do_ want all those things. _Her and Jack and Haley_ are the most important people in my life. And I’m not letting any of them go.”, Hotch said, letting a tear start to fall but wiped it away quick.

“We both know Emily... she doesn’t lie. If she said she wants those things... she _does_. She just needs to be ready and I don’t think she could have anyone better by her side than you.”, JJ said.

“Thank you... I just want her to be happy.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said, standing up and walking over to him standing up. She reached out to him and gave him a hug.

“Thank you.”, he sniffled and she pulled back and gave him a smile. “And... I’m sorry we didn’t exactly say it earlier but... congratulations. We’re really happy for you and Will and if there’s anything you guys need at all... don’t hesitate. And if you need any time off or-“, Hotch said.

“I appreciate it but I’m gonna be here, workin’ hard till I go into labor.”, she laughed.

“Alright, just let me know and if you’d let me take you guys out some time to celebrate...”, he said.

“That’d be nice but maybe wait a little till Emily’s...”, JJ said.

“Of course. But I know we’d both love to do something soon.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“Oh and if she calls, don’t tell her I said all that stuff. She knows some of it already but don’t tell her about me getting all emotional and sentimental. I don’t want to scare her off if she heard that I want to marry her and have kids with her and... everything I said about that.”, he laughed.

“Don’t worry. In case you haven’t noticed... I can keep my mouth shut about a lot.”, she laughed.

“Good point. Alright, well, I’m leaving here around-“, he started before JJ’s phone rang and she picked it up.

“Hey, Em.”, she said, making Hotch laugh. “No, now’s a fine time. Aaron and I were just talking about you... Yeah, sure, hold on.”, JJ said, handing Hotch the phone. “She has a question.”, she whispered, as he took the phone from her.

“Hey, hun. Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I was just wondering if you could maybe pick up some lunch on your way home.”, Emily said.

“You have an appetite?!”, he asked.

“Yeah, I do actually.”, she laughed.

“What do you want?”, he asked.

“Mmmm a cheeseburger?”, she asked.

“A _cheeseburger?_ ”, he laughed.

“You got McDonald’s yesterday and now I’m really craving it! I can’t help it.”, she said.

“Alright, I can do that. Anything else?”, he asked.

“Mmmmm I love you?”, she said.

“Is that a question or a statement?”, he chuckled.

“Statement. I love you.”, she giggled.

“Yeah, I love you too. I’ll call you when I’m on my way, okay?”, he asked.

“Okay, give me back to JJ now.”, she said.

“Alright, bye.”, he said, handing the phone back to JJ and walking out of her office.

At 1:30, Hotch headed out and picked up a cheeseburger for Emily on the way home. When he walked in, he found her sleeping on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her and the tv on. He walked over to her with the bag of food still in his hand and was about to bend down to give her a kiss but she woke up on her own. 

“How’d you just wake up like that?”, he asked.

“The smell of the cheeseburger.”, she smiled, sitting up and grabbing the bag. 

“That’s literally what dogs do. Just hold some food by your nose and you wake up.”, he laughed.

She glared at him and opened the bag. “I didn’t ask for fries.”, she said.

“Yeah, um...”, he said, looking off to the side.

“Aaron... did you get fries again?”, she asked.

“Maybe... they were so good yesterday and now I was craving them again!”, he said.

“It’s unhealthy!”, she said.

“Says the one who just had me get her one of the greasiest cheeseburgers ever.”, he laughed.

“Fine. Both of us are making one exception today.”, she winked.

“Deal.”, he said, sitting down next to her and eating their lunch. 

Once they were done, they got ready to go to the appointment and took a moment to calm her nerves. 

“It’s okay, hun. It’s just an exam.”, he said, rubbing her back before they left.

“I know, I just hate this. I wish I didn’t have to do this.”, she said.

“I know.”, he said, giving her a kiss. 

“Okay, let’s go.”, she said.

He put his arm around her and they walked out the door, holding her hand the whole drive there.

  
  



	61. Back Out In the Field

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 61**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Two weeks later, Emily had been out from work. She hadn’t gone in since the day before her procedure. Hotch took the first two days off to be there for her and help take care of her. He would’ve taken the whole time she was out, off but knew he couldn’t. She’d been struggling with the emotional aftermath of everything and Hotch tried to be there for her the best he could but she wasn’t talking much. Most of what she’d do all day was stay in bed and watch tv. Hotch was starting to get concerned about her when he noticed she wasn’t eating much, barely spoke to him, was typically in bed still by the time he got home from work and would check in with JJ who would tell him Emily hadn’t called her yet.

Hotch came home on Tuesday night after making one stop on the way from work. He walked inside and set his briefcase down, hanging his suit jacket on a chair and walking in their bedroom. 

“Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?”, he asked. 

She didn’t respond to him but just stayed still instead. She had a tank top and pajama pants on with her hair up in a messy bun. It was obvious to him that she still hadn’t showered after three days. She was laying in bed with the covers pulled up to her chest and her hand clutching them on the outside. He walked up to her and crouched down, giving her a soft smile, and kissed her forehead. 

“What’d you do today?”, he asked, hoping her answer would include something a bit more active than what she had been doing everyday so far. He put a hand on her thigh and rubbed it until she looked him in the eye and he could notice she’d been crying. _A lot._

“What do you _think?_ ”, she asked, rolling over to face the other side and brushing his hand off of her. 

He sat still for a moment before he took his shoes off and walked over to the other side of the bed and got on, laying on his side, close but not too close, in front of her. He had his hands behind his back and smiled at her. 

“What’s behind your back?”, she finally said. 

“I might’ve made a little stop on the way home.”, he said.

“Mm?”, she said groaned.

“Jack made you something today at preschool.”, he said and suddenly her face lit up a bit more. Her eyes opened wider and the corners of her lips turned up slightly.

“He did?”, she asked.

“Yeah, he made Haley one too. He made me something else but he ended up eating it since it was made of candy.”, he laughed, making her almost let a small one out too.

“What is it?”, she asked.

He pulled out from behind his back a multi colored macaroni necklace with glitter on it. He held it out between them and she grinned, taking it in her hand. 

“This is so sweet.”, she said.

“I guess he started coloring the pieces with markers so it’s very bright. But he used mostly blue because he knows that’s your favorite color and his teacher helped him put some glue on it to get the sparkles to stay.”, he said.

“Is this my name?”, she asked, holding up a few shells on the strand.

“Yeah, he also tried writing your name. One letter on each shell but for his age, it’s a little hard... but he tried. His teacher helped him spell it too but yes, that is _supposed_ to be your name.”, he said.

“That’s so cute.”, she laughed, looking at it and continuing to smile. 

He brought his hand to her arm and stroked it. He stared at her, waiting for her eyes to come back up to his. Once they did, he saw tears starting to form in them. He scooted closer to her until their bodies were pressed against each other. To his surprise, she wrapped her arm around him and buried her face in his chest. He held the back of her head and kissed the top of it.

“I’m sorry if that was too much. He was just really-“, he started.

“It’s really sweet. I love it.”, she sniffled.

“Honey, I think maybe you should... get out of bed...”, he said.

“And do _what?_ ”, she asked. 

“Why don’t we go get an ice cream or take a walk? It’s not super late.”, he said.

“I’m just really tired...”, she said.

“Em... I’m getting concerned about you. You’ve barely been eating, you haven’t left the apartment in close to a week, all you do is sleep or stay in bed even if you’re not sleeping... you haven’t called JJ to check in at all... You barely talk to me...”, he said.

“I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?”, she said.

“I mean _really_ talk. We haven’t had a conversation since before the procedure. I miss you. I just want you to talk to me...”, he said.

“I don’t know what to say, Aaron.”, she said.

“How about telling me how you’re feeling.”, he said.

“I’m fine.”, she said.

“I know you’re not fine. Please don’t give me that... It’s _me_ , Em. _Talk to me. Tell me... how are you feeling?_ ”, he asked.

“I feel like shit, Aaron! Happy?”, she said.

“No, of course not. That’s obviously not the answer I wanted. I knew that’s what the answer would be but I’m not happy about it... I want you to tell me _why_ you feel like that. Is it physical or emotional or-“, he said.

“It’s literally everything. Every part of me hurts. Physically _and_ emotionally. You wanna know what’s going on with me? I’m in _pain!_ ”, she sobbed, grabbing onto him tighter.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Shhh.”, he stroked her hair.

“I feel like I-“ she couldn’t finish getting out.

“Honey, _breathe... slow_...”, he said.

“I feel like I might’ve made a mistake.”, she said.

“No... no, you didn’t make a mistake. You did what was best for you.”, he said.

“Maybe _that_ would’ve been what’s best for me. For _us_. We could’ve been a family.”, she cried some more.

“Sweetie, we don’t need a baby to be a family.”, he said.

“No, but I wanted one... I wanted it. We could’ve been a bigger family. That’s what I want with you... I want us to be a family and...”, she kept letting out tears, sobbing. “... You said it yourself... Jack could’ve been a big brother.”

“He still _can_ . It just didn’t have to be right now. You weren’t _ready_ . That’s _okay_. You made the right decision. It’s just hard shortly after. You’re going to have lots of different thoughts and emotions about this. It’ll stick with you, yes... but... you shouldn’t regret what you did.”, he said.

“I have to tell you something...”, she said.

“Okay... I’m right here.”, he said.

She took a deep breath and sighed, sniffling after having stopped crying. “When I was 15-“, she started before the phone rang. 

He reached in his pocket and saw that it was JJ. “It’s JJ, maybe you can talk to her.”, he said, picking it up. “Hey, what’s going on?... We do?... I can’t go...”, he said.

Emily grabbed the phone from his hand with her face still buried in his chest. “Is there a case?”, Emily asked.

“Hey...”, JJ said in a soft, empathetic tone. “How are you?”, she asked.

“Is there a _case?_ ”, Emily asked, avoiding JJ’s question.

Catching on, JJ went with it. “Yeah but it’s local so you can tell him he doesn’t have to fly anywhere and leave you.”, JJ said.

“Babe, you can go. It’s fine. It’s local.”, Emily told Hotch.

“No. I’m not leaving you when I don’t have to.”, he said.

“Aaron... you have to. People are dying... you _have_ to go.”, Emily said.

“Sweetie, I-“, he started but she pulled the phone back up to her ear before he could finish.

“We’ll see you in 30.”, Emily said, hanging up.

“ _We?_ ”, he asked.

“Yeah. I’m going.”, she said, getting out of bed.

“Whoa, Em. You haven’t even been outside in a few days... You really want to jump back out into the field immediately?”, he asked.

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick.”, she said, walking into the bathroom.

“Wait, _Em. Slow down_.”, he said, grabbing her sides. “You just got the IUD a few days ago. You’re still in pain, you said. I don’t think you should go out in the field tonight.”, he said.

“I _need_ to.”, she said.

“Maybe later this week but not tonight. That’s jumping in really fast.”, he said.

“Are you saying this as my boyfriend or my boss?”, she asked.

“ _Both_. I don’t feel comfortable with you going out into that environment so soon. Besides, everyone thinks you have a stomach bug. If you stayed home today and then come out tonight. They’ll think something’s up.”, he said.

“I’ll think of something if they ask but I’m going with you.”, she said.

“Wait... I’m sorry. You were starting to tell me something a minute ago.”, he said.

“No.”, she said.

“Yeah... you said when you were 15 and then stopped when the phone rang.”, he said.

“It’s nothing important. I’ll be out in a few, okay?”, she said, giving him a kiss and getting in the shower.

After Emily got out of the shower, she walked out into the kitchen in just her towel. She grabbed a piece of bread and peanut butter from the fridge. Hotch walked over to her from the couch and came up behind her, putting his hands on her sides.

“Oh my god.”, he said.

“ _What?_ ”, she asked, turning around, allowing his hands to stay on her sides and pull her in closer to him.

“You smell so good! _Clean!_ ”, he said.

“ _Shut up!_ ”, she smacked his arm and giggled.

“And that _smile_ .”, he said, kissing her. “I _missed_ that smile.”, he said, kissing her again.

“Only _you_ seem to be able to make that appear at a time like this.”, she said. “Speaking of smiles, what’s up with the stupid grin on your face right now?”, she asked.

“I’m just taking in all your beauty.”, he said slowly and mesmerizing, combing back her wet hair and staring deep in her eyes.

She looked down and blushed before he brought her chin back up to him and placed his lips on hers gently. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m sorry if I’ve been a bitch.”, she said.

“You haven’t. And even if you were... I love you. I love every part of you. Even your bitchy side.”, he laughed.

“You’ve got one _too_.”, she raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, alright, fair enough.”, he said and looked over at the food she had on the counter. “Are you eating?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I was just gonna make some peanut butter toast but I need to get dressed now.”, she said.

“I’ve got it. You go do that and I’ll make this for you. You can eat it in the car.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said, giving him a kiss before walking back into their room. 

Once she got changed, she came out and grabbed the toast from him. “Thanks, sweetie.”, she said.

“I wish you’d eat more than that.”, he said.

“I will when we get back home.”, she said.

“Promise?”, he asked.

“I promise. Now, let’s go. I told JJ we’d be there in 30.”, she said.

“Are you _sure_ you’re ready for this?”, he asked.

“ _Yes_. I haven’t seen anyone in two weeks. Or even spoken to them. Just hearing JJ’s voice really got me motivated to get out of bed and go see her. To get back to work.”, she said.

“Okay. But just let me know if you’re having any-“, he started.

“ _Honey?_ I’m fine. I miss seeing other human beings. Other than the doctor’s appointment a few days ago which wasn’t pleasant, the only other person I’ve even interacted with is _you_. Don’t get me wrong, I love your face...”, she said running her hand along it, “But I’m ready to see some others.”, she said.

“Okay. Let’s go.”, he nodded down.

They drove to the crime scene and parked, walking over to JJ and the rest of the team.

“ _Emily_. You’re back! Wha- how are you feeling?”, Derek asked.

“I’m feeling better. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.”, she said.

“You’re coming back tomorrow?”, Hotch looked down at her, concerned and frustrated because they hadn’t discussed that yet.

“Yeah. I feel better. Is that _alright?_ ”, she eyed him.

One of the detectives walked up to them, catching their attention and Hotch looked back at Emily and whispered, “I don’t know. We’ll talk about it later.”

“I’m already _here_. Why can’t I come back tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Because you’re still-“, he started before the detective came up to him. 

“Agent Hotchner?”, she said, reaching out her hand to shake it. 

“Yes. Sorry, hello. Nice to meet you. This is Agent Prentiss, Agent Morgan, Agent Rossi, Dr. Reid, And I’m sure you’ve already spoken to Agent Jareau, our communications liaison.”, Hotch said.

“Nice to meet you all, thanks for coming down, I know it’s late but it really didn’t seem like it could wait till morning.”, she said.

As they walked around the crime scene, Emily started to get cramps and slowed down. While everyone moved up ahead, Hotch stayed back with her.

“You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”, she said.

“No, you’re not. I have some ibuprofen in the car, let me go grab it.”, he said.

“No, you don’t have to do that. I can go get it.”, she said, suddenly wincing at the pain.

“This is exactly what I was afraid of. Come on, we’re going home.”, he said, grabbing her arm and putting his other hand on her back, guiding her outside.

“Hey, where ya going?”, JJ asked, running after them. 

“Emily isn’t feeling well.”, he eyed her.

“I’m fine!”, she said, releasing herself from him. 

“Em, come on, let’s just go home and-“, he said.

“I can stay out! Weren’t you the one who told me to get out tonight?”, she asked.

“Well, yes but I didn’t mean _this_.”, he said.

“JJ...”, Emily looked at her.

“Uhhh... I’m sorry... I don’t know who to side with here... so I’m just not going to...”, JJ said.

“Tell him he’s being stupid.”, Emily said.

“ _Stupid?_ What are you? 5?”, he laughed.

“Emily, he has a point.”, JJ said.

“Fine. You’re being a dumbass.”, she said, flashing him a smirk.

“Okay. Come on, let’s get you home.”, he said.

“Why? Are you suspending me for calling you a dumbass?”, she teased.

“ _No_. I’m telling you we’re going home because you don’t feel well so please just-“, he said.

“Well, you can go but I’m staying.”, Emily said, walking back inside. 

Hotch stood there and then walked to the car and grabbed her some ibuprofen for her cramps. He went back inside and found her, bringing her a bottle of water and the pills. 

“Here. At least take these. It should help the pain a little.”, he said.

“Thank you, sweetie.”, she whispered before swallowing the pills.

“Of course.”, he said.

An hour later the detective came over to them and let them know they got a 911 call that was potentially their unsub. They drove to the house where Derek kicked down the door and they all chased after the unsub. He brought his gun up but Derek shot him first. Right after the gunshot, Hotch dropped his gun and winced in pain. He covered his ears and leaned over. Emily was up ahead by Derek but heard Hotch groaning. She turned around and ran up to him. 

“Aar- Hotch? Are you okay?”, she put her hands on his arms and tried to make eye contact but his were shut tight. “Hotch. Can you look at me?” she said. She looked around and everyone was up ahead, nowhere near them. “Aaron, Honey, look at me. Look at me.”, she rubbed the back of his neck and his back. “Sweetie, hey, are you alright?”, she said. He moved one of his hands to his forehead. After a minute, he calmed down and ran his fingers through his hair. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

“I’m alright. I’m alright.”, he said.

“No, you’re not! You told me your doctor cleared you over a week ago.”, she said.

“Sort of... I said I’d limit my role in the field.”, he said.

“Well, you haven’t!”, she said.

“I’m sorry... there was kind of a lot else going on...”, he said.

“Yeah, no shit. But you could’ve just damaged your hearing.”, she said.

“I’m sorry I lied...”, he dropped his head.

“Ugh. Stop making me feel bad for you.”, she said, giving him a hug, stroking the back of his neck. “I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Maybe we should _both_ go home.”, he said. 

“Deal.”, she said, pulling away.

Rossi came over to them and patted Hotch on the back. “You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”, Hotch said.

“Why don’t you go home?”, Rossi said.

“Yeah, I was just about to do that.”, Hotch said. “Emily, do you need a ride back to your place?”, he asked her.

“Umm if it’s not too much a bother.”, she said.

“Sure. Are you ready to go right now?”, he asked.

“Sounds good. I might actually hold off on coming back tomorrow. I’m still feeling a little weak.”, she said.

“Alright, we’ll discuss it later.”, he said.

“Aaron, you might wanna hold off too on coming back out into the field until you get your doctor to clear you.”, Rossi winked and walked away.

“What the hell was that?”, Hotch asked.

“ _I don’t know_.”, Emily said, worried.

“Did he hear us?”, he asked.

“I have no idea!”, she said.

“Let’s just go.”, he said, looking all around.

Once they got back home, they got changed into their pajamas and flopped onto the bed, both exhausted.

“Did that ibuprofen help at all?”, he asked.

“It did. Thank you. I’m mad at you though.”, she said, turning on her side, back facing him.

“What?! Why?!”, he asked.

“ _Because!_ You said you were cleared when you weren’t. And then _that_ happened.”, she said.

“What can I do to make it up to you?”, he asked, scooting over and kissing her shoulder.

“Mmmm a back rub might be nice.”, she said.

“Yeah. I uh- I think I can do that.”, he chuckled. “Sit up.”, he said.

They both sat up and she scooted back in between his legs. She leaned back against his chest and he pushed forward a bit.

“I can’t rub your back if it’s on my chest.”, he laughed.

“You’re just cuddly.”, she giggled.

“Do you wanna cuddle or do you want a back rub?”, he asked.

“Can I have both?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said, kissing her neck.

He started rubbing her shoulders and she dropped her head. “Mmmm that feels so gooood. Oh, yes, right there.”, she moaned. 

Hotch knew she was just enjoying the back rub but he couldn’t deny the way it made _him_ feel. “Em, you gotta stop saying that. _Please_.”, he said.

“What?”, she seemed genuinely confused. “Ahhh yeahhhh. Mmhmm can you go a little harder?”, she asked.

“Em, _seriously_. When you moan like that...”, he said.

“Oh, _I’m_ sorry. Does that _turn you on?_ ”, she asked.

“Yes, actually. It does so please don’t-“, he tried but then she let out another moan.

“Ohhhh mmmm. You’re so good at that. Thank youuu. I needed this. I had a lot of knots, huh?”, she said.

“ _Emily_...”, he warned her.

“Am I really _tight_ in there?”, she asked, obviously starting to tease him.

“Emily. _Really_.”, he said.

“Your hands really work wonders on me, babe. Ohh yeah, right there.”, she said.

“I’m about to stop.”, he said.

“No, please don’t stop. Keep going ahhh.”, she said.

“Okay! You win! I can’t keep going with you making those sounds.”, he said.

“Does it really turn you on _that much?_ ”, she laughed.

“ _Yes!_ ”, he said.

“Oh. You’re right.”, she said, bringing her hand along it, making him twitch. “Looks we’re gonna have to do something about that.”, she said, turning around to face him.

“No, Em. That’s too soon and you don’t feel good.”, he said.

“Who said anything about _me?_ ”, she smirked and reached her hand down his pants and grabbed him.

“Oh god.”, he said, throwing his head back.

“Lay down.”, she whispered and he followed what she said. She pulled his pants down to his knees and grasped him in her hand. She pumped him twice and then brought her mouth to him. 

“Fuck.”, he exhaled.

She swirled her tongue around his head before taking in all of him even after he hit the back of her throat. He was so big that sometimes she couldn’t but she was feeling extra determined that night.

“How are you not- ahhh.”, he said once she moved her mouth up and her hand on his shaft. 

He knew he wouldn’t last long so when she started going fast, he tried to slow her down so he wouldn’t go too soon. “Slower, babe.”, he said, moving her hair to the side.

She pulled her mouth off of him and looked in his eyes. “Did you not like that?”, she asked.

“No, that was good. That was _too_ good. I’m gonna explode if you keep going like that right now and I don’t want to yet.”, he said.

She smirked and pulled his pants all the way off. He sat up against the headboard and she got on his lap, straddling him and interlaced her fingers behind his neck, moving in and bringing their lips together. As they kept going, she rubbed his bare chest with her other hand still on the back of his neck. His hands moved down to her ass as he kissed her passionately.

Emily eventually pulled back and looked at him. He took his hands off of her right away. “Emily, I’m sorry... did that make you uncomfortable? Was that too much?”, he asked, worried, eyes wide.

She stared at him for a minute before pulling her tank top off and watching him stare at her breasts for the first time in a couple weeks. She grabbed his hands and guided them up her body along her soft skin to her breasts and held her hands on top of his that grabbed them not too hard. She moved her hands back to his face and neck while he kept his on her breasts and she leaned her body into his more and kissed him.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “No. It’s not too much and I feel completely comfortable right now, here with you.”, she said, leaning in for another kiss. He started massaging her where his hands were and captured her moans in his mouth. After a few minutes, she could feel his body tense and breathing change. She knew he needed her to do something for him but he was too polite to ask at that time with everything going on and trying to respect her comfort zone. When she saw his hand moving down and he moaned back into her lips, she knew what he was doing. She took her hand and reached back for his, stopping it from moving along his shaft. She pulled her lips off his and they looked each other in the eyes.

“Em...”, he said.

“ _No. I_ take care of _you_ . You’re _mine_.”, she said.

“That’s what _I_ tell _you_.”, he laughed.

“It works both ways.”, she smiled, leaning to the side and slipping one leg out of her shorts and to the other side, slipping the other leg out, pulling them off, and tossing them off the bed.

“Em, no.”, he said.

“I feel better. We can just take it slow. The doctor said I could by now.”, she said.

“It’s really soon.”, he said.

“Aaron, it’s been a couple weeks. I’m okay. I _want_ this. I _miss_ this.”, she said, running her hand down his arm.

“Yeah but you just got the IUD in a few days ago and you were cramping earlier. It’s not a good idea.”, he said.

“But I feel fine now. _Please_.”, she begged.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think we should...”, he said.

“Aaron... come on. We’ll take it slow, okay?”, she said, bringing his hands back to her ass, having him hold on. She leaned in to kiss him and he opened his mouth right away, taking one of his hands from her grabbing her ass up to holding her face. 

“ _Slow_ . And when I say _slow_ I mean _slowww_. I’m not taking any risks.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said, leaning in to kiss him again. 

She grabbed him in her hand, anticipating what came next. Nervous of how it might feel but also excited since it had been so long since she’d felt him inside her. She ran him along her and moaned.

“You’re so wet already, hun.”, he breathed.

“It’s been a while.”, she said, starting to guide him inside her. He held her sides carefully more as a way to balance and support her instead of have control over her movements completely. He watched carefully as she slowly took the rest of him and bottomed out. She took a deep breath once she was sitting on his lap and held on to his shoulders.

“Are you okay, sweetie? Do you want to stop?”, he asked. She shook her head and grabbed his face. 

“Just taking it slow.”, she nodded.

“However slow you want.”, he said as she nodded again.

“Will you just... help me a little,”, she asked, shy. He kissed her and gently helped her move up and down. “You can go a little more than that.”, she said and he gave her a half nod, moving her a little faster. “A little harder.”, she said, starting to moan. He bit his lip hard, controlling his urge to pound into her like they usually do. “Faster.”, she moaned.

He felt himself getting close already but knew _she_ wasn’t yet and didn’t want to go before her. “Can I...”, he started, bringing his hand down to rub her and looked up at her before he did it. She nodded her head and kissed him. He started rubbing her clit and she opened her mouth breathing heavy. “Is that okay?”, he asked.

“Yes. Oh god, yes.”, she moaned.

“Ah fuck.”, he said through his teeth.

“I’m so close.”, she whispered against his lips.

“Ahh me too. Come for me, Em. Please. Please come for me, hun.”, he grunted.

“I’m gonna- oh my god, Aaron.”, she moaned, running her fingers through his hair on the back of his head and grabbing on tight. He sucked on her neck until she reached her point. “Oh my god. Ahhh yesss. Yes, Aaron come for-“, she started but before she could finish, he came. 

“Fuck, oh my god, Em. Shit. Ahhh. You’re so good.”, he groaned, coming over and over, releasing everything from a couple weeks of not having let out.

She fell forward onto him more and kissed his neck all over as he had trouble catching his breath. He helped her up, pulling out and resting back in his lap when he brought his arms up and wrapped one around her waist and the other around her upper back, holding her close. She hugged him around his neck tight and kissed it a few more times before pulling back and moving her lips to his. She looked at him with her forehead and nose pressed to his and rubbed the back of his head. She smiled at him and he rubbed her back. 

“I love you so much.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said, smiling back at her.

“So can I go back to work tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Is that what this was all about? You thought having sex with me would give you special treatment?”, he laughed.

“No. But did it work?”, she asked. He glared at her and she laughed. “I’m kidding. I’d never do that. Not again.”, she said.

“ _Again?!_ ”, he asked, shocked and obviously jealous. 

“Professors are much different than bosses.”, she smirked.

“ _What?!_ ”, he asked, eyes wide.

“But that’s not what I’m doing here.”, she said, kissing him.

“You slept with one of your _professors?!_ ”, he asked.

“It was a long time ago. So can I go back to work tomorrow, sir?”, she giggled.

“You’re really going to try and change the topic just like that?”, he asked.

“It’s a _yes_ or _no_ question. Unless you say _no_ , then I’m gonna have to try and convince you to say _yes_.”, she said. 

“I’m sorry but I’m still not over the other thing you just said.”, he said.

“Okay, yeah, fine. But it wasn’t for a good grade. _So_... Agent Hotchner, can I come back to work tomorrow?”, she asked.

“ _Emily!_ ”, he said.

“There’s not a lot to say! It was a silly little crush. Everyone has one on their teacher or professor at some point.”, she said.

“You said you slept with him. And it wasn’t even to get a good grade.”, he said.

“That’s right.”, she said.

“So, it was more than just a silly crush.”, he said.

“Are you jealous?”, she asked.

“ _No!_ Of course not.”, he said.

“Good. Because it’s not like that anymore.”, she said.

“ _Anymore?_ ”, he asked.

“Yeah, we keep in touch.”, she said.

“You _what?!_ ”, he asked.

Emily rolled her eyes and sighed, climbing off of him and got under the covers with him, laying down. He pulled her close and rested his arm over her side, drawing circles on her back. 

“Listen, I haven’t seen him in a while. I’ve only spoken with him over the phone or text. That’s it. But he’s married anyways, nothing would happen now.”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“ _I_ was married when we first got together...”, he said, looking down.

“I know but they’re happily married.”, she said.

“So you’re saying that it was expected of me to cheat on my wife because I was unhappy in my marriage?”, he asked.

“No... I didn’t mean it like that...”, she said.

“You know how bad I feel about that, don’t you?”, he asked. 

“ _Of course_. I know that. I do too... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go down that road. Just... forget I said anything.”, she said. “Besides he’s older now and- you have nothing to worry about.”, she said.

“How _much_ older?”, he asked.

“Older.”, she said.

“ _I’m_ older than you. Is it like me or...”, he said.

“He’s older than you but it doesn’t matter because I’m not-“, she said.

“How much older?”, he repeated.

“Really... it doesn’t matter. You don’t wanna know all this stuff.”, she said.

“Emily, come on just tell me, it’s fine.”, he laughed.

“He’s 20 years older, okay?”, she said, catching him off guard.

“Emily... that’s-“, he started.

“Why I didn’t wanna talk about it.”, she said.

“How _old_ were you?”, he asked.

“Like... from 20 to 21...”, she said.

“This went on for a _year?_ ”, he asked.

“A little less.”, she said.

“Em... you weren’t just sleeping with him, were you?”, he asked.

“ _Fine!_ We were kind of in a relationship but it ended and that’s for the best and that was literally years ago. I’m with _you_ now.”, she smiled and kissed him.

“Emily, that was wrong of him. Why do you still talk to him? That’s not just me being jealous.”, he said.

“We really cared about each other and we still do... as _friends_ now. He’s a _friend_. And I have him to thank a lot for.”, she said.

“Like what?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, she said.

“Em.”, he said.

“You can’t go digging.”, she said.

“Digging for _what?_ ”, he asked.

“Aaron. Promise me.”, she said.

“Okay, fine. I promise.”, he said.

“He taught my criminology class.”, she said.

“Oh... okay...”, he said.

“And... he helped me... study and helped- he knew I wanted to join the academy so he helped me make a plan for it and told me all about it. He got me some connections...”, she said.

“How would he have any connections?”, he asked.

“Because he used to work at Interpol and had connections with the FBI and... worked _there_ for a bit too... He retired after an injury and decided to teach...”, she said.

“He worked for the bureau?!”, he asked.

“Yes, a while ago. It’s been years. You promised though! No digging!”, she said.

“What’s his name?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said.

“Emily. What’s his name?”, he said.

“No, Aaron! I told you. No digging. Okay? You _promised_.”, she said.

“Fine... it just makes me- he took advantage of you. You were only 20 and he was what? 40?! And your _professor?!_ He used to work for Interpol and the FBI but are you sure it was an injury that made him retire?”, he asked.

“Yes. Very sure.”, she said.

“How do you know? How do you know it wasn’t for something else like something inappropriate he did there too just like he did with you. Were you the only one?”, he asked.

“I was the _only one_. And you don’t wanna know how I know why it was an injury.”, she said.

“Why not?”, he asked.

“Trust me...”, she said.

“Oh... oh! No, I don’t wanna hear that. I think I got the gist of it.”, he said.

“I know what you’re thinking and I’ll tell you again...”, she said. “You’re better... and... bigger.”, she whispered in his ear. He smiled and when she pulled back, she leaned in and kissed him. “How come I don’t know much about _your_ exes? I’ve talked about three of _mine_.”, she said.

“I guess I don’t have a lot. Haley and I were together since high school. I had a few then before her but nothing _super serious_.”, he said.

“You’re way too good in bed to have only been with one other person.”, she giggled.

“I never said my first time was with her.”, he laughed. “I lost my virginity when I was 15.”, he said.

“Ohhh. I _see_.”, she said.

“What about you, huh?”, he asked.

“Yeah, uh- me too...”, she said, looking down.

“Really? That’s young.”, he said.

“You did too, you just said, so no judgement.”, she said. Suddenly she was starting to think back to that time. How she’d started to tell him about it earlier. How she almost told him about when she was that age, she was in the same situation that she just had a couple weeks earlier. She started getting anxious and hadn’t felt that since her last anxiety attack about Ian Doyle. She needed a Xanax but didn’t want to worry him until she realized it was too late once he noticed how she’d gotten silent for too long.

“Em? What’s going on? Are you alright?”, he asked, stroking her face.

She tried clenching her fist that wasn’t on the back of his neck to try and hold on but it wasn’t working. “Mmhm.”, she said, still not looking up at him.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Did I say something?”, he asked.

“No. I just- I’ll be right back.”, she said, grabbing her tank top and shorts from the ground and put them on before going into the bathroom and locking the door so he wouldn’t come in to find her sitting on the bathroom floor, trying her best to be quiet while she cried. She grabbed a Xanax from the medicine cabinet and took a glass they kept in there, filling it with water and swallowing the pill. She set it down and sat on the floor, curled up in a ball against the wall and let the tears fall without making a sound. A few minutes later he knocked on the door.

“Em, are you alright? Are you having an anxiety attack?”, he asked.

He knew her too well, she thought. She knew he wouldn’t let it go; he cared too much. She took a few deep breaths and hoped the Xanax would kick in soon. She stood up and walked to the door, wiping away her tears before opening it with a small smile. 

“Get back in bed, sweetie.”, she said, walking him over to it and getting in herself. She laid down on her side facing away from him, trying to slow her breathing so he wouldn’t notice. 

He curled up behind her and put his arm over her, stroking her hand. He kissed her shoulder and then her head before nuzzling his next to hers. “Are you okay? You seemed like you were having an anxiety attack again. You haven’t had one for a few months...”, he said.

“I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about me.”, she said.

“Honey, I tell you this over and over. I’ll always worry about you.”, he kissed her cheek.

She grabbed his hand that was stroking hers and squeezed it tight. “I’m fine, sweetie. I promise.”, she said, bringing their hands up and kissing his. “I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too, hun.”, he said.

She decided not to tell him. Not yet at least. If anything, it was probably the worst time to bring up the topic. Earlier, she thought that it would be the perfect time but began to think the opposite after the phone rang, interrupting them. She didn’t know if she’d ever reveal her secret to him but even if she did, it wasn’t happening that night.

  
  



	62. The Old Professor

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 62**

  
  
  


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Later that week on Sunday, Jack was over at Emily and Hotch’s and they went to the park to have a picnic and play. They had laid out a blanket on the grass and brought a bag with snacks in it. Some that Jack liked and some... he didn’t. 

“Jack, you have to eat some apple slices before you get a cookie.”, Hotch said.

“No!”, he said with his arms crossed.

“Jack, come here.”, Emily said, patting her lap and he ran over to her from the tree he was standing by. He jumped into her arms and she picked him up, sitting him in her lap, with her legs spread out straight. She whispered something in his ear and he turned back to her.

“But-.”, he pouted. She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “Okay...”, he sighed.

“Good. If you can eat three slices, you can have half the cookie. Okay?”, she said and he nodded his head, grabbing an apple slice from the bag she handed him and taking one herself.

“How’d you do that?”, Hotch asked in amazement. 

“I never reveal my secrets.”, she said. “Isn’t that right, Jack?”, she asked, rubbing his arms. He nodded while they ate their apple slices and she looked up at Hotch smiling. “What?”, she laughed.

“Stay right there, like that.”, he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“Aaron. Come on.”, she said.

“Em, this is adorable. Let me just get a picture. I’m sure Haley would love to see he’s eating his fruit.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she said. “Hey buddy, look up at the camera and smile.”, she pointed. They both looked up and Jack flashed Hotch a _big_ smile showing all this teeth that had come in. “Say ‘cheese’.”, Emily said.

“ _Cheeeeeese_ .”, Jack said as Hotch took the picture of them _both_ smiling big.

“Okay, that’s adorable.”, he said, walking over to them, crouching down to show them the picture.

“Alright... it is pretty cute. But only because Jack’s in it!”, she said, tickling him. He started laughing and got up from her lap and stopped to look at her. “Oh you want me to chase you, huh?”, she said and he nodded his head. “You better run.”, she said. He looked right at her until she started going for him and he let out a scream, running from her, turning into giggling.

Emily finally caught him and picked him up and tickled him more. “Emily!”, he laughed.

“Tickle monster’s got you! Oh no... here comes another one.”, she said as Hotch walked over to them.

“I’m not a tickle monster! I’m just lonely over there.”, he said, coming up to Emily and giving her a kiss before he started tickling them both and she broke apart from him. 

“Liar!”, she said.

“Daddy you lie!”, Jack said.

“Should we run away from him?”, she asked Jack who nodded. She set him down and they both ran around the tree and back over to their picnic while Hotch chased them. Once they made it back, they sat down and Emily’s back faced where Hotch was coming from but Jack was looking straight at him. 

“Emily!”, he tugged on her sleeve but she didn’t move in time. Hotch ran up to her and grabbed her from behind, tackling her and tickling her making her laugh so hard she could barely breathe. 

“Stop! Aaron!”, she laughed uncontrollably.

Jack ran over to Hotch and tried tickling him so he played along and released Emily who joined in and then he _really_ started laughing. 

“Okay! Okay! I give up!”, Hotch said, lying on his back. He picked up Jack and held him straight up on his belly, doing the airplane thing Jack loved so much and brought him back down on his chest. Jack crawled over to Emily who was sitting up and plopped down in her lap again. 

“Wow, okay. I see. You like Emily so much better, huh?”, Hotch said, sitting up.

“What can I say? I’m a lovable person.”, she said.

“Oh well, yes, you definitely are.”, he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. 

After he pulled away, he ruffled Jack’s hair and looked up at the woman who stopped by them. “Aww your son is so precious.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Definitely got his mama’s eyes.”, she said.

“He’s not my-“, Emily pressed her lips into a thin line awkwardly and looked down.

“Oh, I’m sorry... well he’s adorable.”, the lady tried to laugh it off and walked away.

“Em...”, Hotch said.

“It’s fine. I should expect that to happen sometimes.”, she said, still not looking at him.

“I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable. She didn’t know. I’m sure she just said that because she saw you with him and thought you were his mom. She probably didn’t even take a good look at your eyes. People just say... silly things.”, he said, keeping it clean with Jack being right there.

“It’s fine, really. It’s- whatever, it’s okay.”, she said. “Hey, how about 1 more apple slice and then you can have some cookie?”, she looked down at Jack. 

“Okayyy...”, he said, upset and leaned back into her. 

She tried to choke back some tears by taking a bite of an apple but Hotch noticed. He reached for her hand but her phone rang and she grabbed it from her back pocket. Her eyes widened when she saw the contact name, concerning Hotch.

“Who is it?”, he asked.

“What- oh, um- it’s JJ. Here.”, she said, picking up Jack. “Sit with your daddy. I’ll be right back.”, she told Jack, kissing his head before getting up and walking away fast. 

Once she made it a distance where Hotch couldn’t hear her anymore and barely see her, she picked up the phone. She felt bad for lying by saying it was JJ when really, it was her old professor she was just talking about with Hotch earlier that week.

“Brayden, hey! What’s- what’s going on? How are you?”, she said.

“Emily, always lovely to hear your voice. That’s why I called instead of emailing or texting you. Something about your voice...”, he said.

“Well, I’m here.”, she laughed. “It’s good to hear your voice too. It’s been too long. I was actually just talking about you the other day.”, she said.

“You _were?_ I hope it was all good things...”, he said.

“Nothing bad. What’s going on though? Like I said, you haven’t _called_ for a while.”, she said.

“You’re still working at the BAU, right?”, he asked.

“Yep. Same as last time we spoke which was...”, she started.

“A few months ago. I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy with work. My T.A. left actually so I’ve been spending extra time grading papers and all.”, he said.

“Oh, have you got a replacement yet?”, she asked.

“I’ve been looking for one but nothing yet. Anyways, I’ve been invited by Erin Strauss to come give a lecture and bring a few promising students to the BAU for this program they’d be doing with... oh... what’s his name... he was one of the people who started the BAU... David...”, he said.

“Rossi?”, she asked.

“Yes, that’s it! You work with him, I assume?”, he said.

“Yeah, he’s one of the main team members I work with. Everyday.”, she said.

“Wow. Very nice. Well, it looks like I’ll be there tomorrow.”, he said.

“Wait, you’re coming to the BAU _tomorrow?_ ”, she asked.

“I _am_. I just got the call a couple days ago but I wanted to check in with you first, make sure you’re there and have the whole day available for me.”, he laughed.

“I can definitely make that work. Wow. What time are you arriving?”, she asked.

“8:00 I believe.”, he said.

“I’ll make sure I’m there early. And what do you say I give your students that are coming a full tour of the BAU? Private access and everything.”, she said.

“I’m sure they'd love that. There’s only going to be five of them so hopefully that’s not too much for ya.”, he said.

“No, of course not! As long as you’re coming along too.”, she said.

“I wouldn’t dream of missing out on any time I get to spend with you.”, he said.

“Perfect! Wow, I can’t believe you’re really coming tomorrow. Are you driving or flying?”, she asked.

“Driving. I’m already on my way actually. In the car right now. The students are too but separate from me.”, he said.

“Oh, I was gonna say I could pick you up from the airport but I’ll just have to wait to see you when you get to the BAU.”, she sighed.

“Miss me that much, huh?”, he chuckled.

“Oh definitely.”, she laughed.

“I’ve missed you too. I especially miss our late night study sessions back then.”, he said.

“Hey now...”, she laughed.

“Speaking of which, anyone... _new_ in your life?”, he asked.

“Uh, no. No one- no one new. Just me. I thought about maybe getting a cat but that sounds a little lonely and pathetic if I were to get one to fill the spot of a man in my life so...”, she laughed.

“Emily Prentiss is single? Wow. How has nobody snatched you up yet?”, he said.

“Pshh. Couldn’t tell ya.”, she said.

“Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner tomorrow night? My treat.”, he said.

“Ummm...”, she looked over at Hotch and Jack, trying to think of what she could tell Hotch, knowing he’d freak out about it. She couldn’t think of anything in the moment but figured she’d come up with something. 

“Em? You there?”, he asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Dinner sounds great.”, she said.

“What time?”, he asked.

“It depends on what time I’ll be off work and- why don’t we play it by ear? Are you staying at a hotel?”, she asked.

“Yeah, downtown. And that sounds good.”, he said.

“How long are you staying?”, she asked.

“It was going to be only for tonight and tomorrow night but I’m thinking about extending it for an extra day or two.”, he said.

“Oh yeah? Miss D.C.?”, she asked.

“I miss something in D.C. Well... more of a _someone_ in D.C.”, he said. 

She couldn’t help but blush. “Well someone here misses you too so if you decide to extend your stay a bit, just lemme know. Maybe we can do something one of those days.”, she said.

“I would like that _very much_.”, he said.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”, she said.

“Uh one more thing.”, he said.

“Yeah?”, she asked.

“You know what... it can wait until tomorrow.”, he said.

“You sure?”, she asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Go enjoy the rest of your day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”, he said.

“Alright, can’t wait.”, she said.

“ _Bye_ , Em.”, he said.

“Bye.”, she hung up.

She took a moment to gather herself and walked back over to Hotch and Jack.

“Hey, what’d she want?”, Hotch asked, taking a bite of his cookie.

“Who?”, Emily asked.

“JJ. Weren’t you just on the phone with her?”, he asked.

“Oh! Right, yeah. JJ. She uh- she was just checking in.”, she said.

“You had to walk all the way over there for that?”, he said.

“Private girl stuff. You don't wanna know about it.”, she let out a nervous laugh, feeling bad about lying to him but knew she wasn’t doing anything bad but he would just get jealous. Yet, she still felt guilty.

“Ah. Got it. Well... would you like-“, Hotch started before Jack butted in.

“Cookie.”, Jack said, handing her one.

“ _Thank you_ . I’d _love_ a cookie.”, she said, taking a bite of it. She lost focus of everything for a minute and got deep into thought about Brayden. 

“Em?”, Hotch said.

“Huh? What?”, she turned to look at him.

“You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”, she asked.

“You just kind of zoned out for a minute... are you still upset about what that woman said?”, he asked.

“No. Not at all.”, she smiled and picked up Jack, putting him in her lap again and wrapping her arms around him as he focused on eating his cookie still. 

Hotch just stared at her, trying to read her and figure out why she was _really_ upset. He couldn’t tell if she was actually upset or if she was just feeling off or something happened. But he left it for the time being. 

After an hour, Jack was getting tired and they decided to pack things up and go home. 

“You ready for a nap when we get home, buddy?”, Hotch asked and Jack nodded as he buckled him into his car seat.

“Hey, could you send me that picture you took?”, she asked.

“So you _do_ want it?”, he asked, getting in the driver's seat.

“Jack looks really cute in it.”, she said.

“He’s not the only one.”, he said, leaning over and giving her a kiss.

“Whatever.”, she laughed.

“Alright, I’ll send it now.”, he said.

“Did you send it to Haley yet?”, she asked.

“Yeah, she thought it was adorable and _also_ wants to know what your trick is to get him to eat fruit.”, he laughed.

“I’ll tell _her_.”, she said.

“Not _me?!_ ”, he asked.

“I’ll think about it.”, she smiled.

When they got back to the apartment, Jack had fallen asleep in his car seat. Emily carefully unbuckled him and picked him up, holding him as they walked inside and went upstairs while Hotch carried their bags. They got inside and Hotch put their bags down while Emily carried Jack into his room and took his shoes off before tucking him in bed for his nap. She walked back out as Hotch finished putting things away.

“Hey.”, she smiled.

“Hey. I wanted to talk to you.”, he said, walking over to her and putting his arms around her waist while she hugged his torso.

“Okay. What’s up?”, she asked.

“About today at the park... I could tell it upset you but I can’t tell in what way...”, he said.

“Honestly speaking, it was just awkward. And it made me think about me having my own kid which I- obviously right now is... still kind of sensitive...”, she said.

“I’m really sorry, Em. I didn’t think of that happening until she said it.”, he told her.

“It’s fine. I know it’s just something that _will_ happen. I can’t really stop it.”, she said.

“But it’s still upsetting for you.”, he said.

“Sure but I love spending time with and having fun with Jack more than that bothers me.”, she said.

“You’re so amazing. Do you know that?”, he said.

“You tell me a lot.”, she laughed.

“It’s true. You amaze me everyday. And I can’t help but keep falling in love with you more and _more_ everyday.”, he said.

“I love you.”, she said. 

“I love you _more_.”, he told her, giving her a kiss.

“I hate it when you say that because then you never let me win.”, she said.

“You make me very happy.”, he smiled, giving her another kiss.

“Okay, fine. You win. I could say the same thing over and over but you _always_ win.”, she said, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

“I’ll just shut up then and let you talk.”, he said.

“I hope you already know how I feel.”, she said.

“I do.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

“Aaron... I really _do_ love you more than anything. There’s honestly nothing and nobody I love more than you.”, she said.

“Same with you and Jack and Haley.”, he said, squeezing her tighter. “I don’t care what happens Em, I’m never letting you go.”

“You’re gonna make me cry.”, she laughed. 

“Okay, fine. I hate you, you’re horrible, and I wish you never moved in. Is that better?”, he laughed.

She punched his arm and squeezed him tighter, resting her head back on his shoulder. “Shut up.”, she said.

“Um... _Ow!_ ”, he said.

“You love me and you’re never letting me go no matter what happens. Don’t try and leave me after that.”, she said.

“Never.”, he said, snuggling her into him more.

Emily’s tone got quieter and more serious, almost guilty. She still felt bad for lying about her phone call and had no idea what she would tell him when she was going to meet up with Brayden for dinner the next night. But she hated lying. 

“Do you really mean it?”, she asked.

“Mean what?”, he asked.

“That no matter what happens... you’ll still love me and never let me go...”, she said.

“Of course I mean it.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

“What if I fucked up really bad?”, she asked.

“ _Have you?_ ”, he asked.

“No. But it just gets me thinking when you say things like that because I _have_ done really stupid things before. Not necessarily when I was with you but just in the past in general... I just- there must be a limit for you.”, she said.

“I don’t know. I can’t think of anything we wouldn’t be able to work out or that would ever happen. We’ve already been through _a lot_ together and not only have we moved past it and gotten through it but... we’ve come out stronger. I mean look at us, we’re still in love, a few people know about us, we live together, you’re helping take care of Jack, I mean he’s in your life, we went through something... really difficult recently. I mean people in relationships go through pregnancies and abortions a fair amount but we considered having it... not every couple does that that isn’t serious about each other. We realized we wanted a family together. We’re starting a _life_ together. I’d say the fact that we’re here... at those points... after _everything_ we’ve been through and done... I don’t know what could possibly make me want to leave you or not have you by my side forever.”, he said.

Suddenly she felt a tear falling down her face and felt numb. She had no idea what to say in response to all of that so she stayed silent until he spoke to her again.

“Do you not feel the same way?”, he asked.

“I do.”, she said.

“Because you can be honest if you don’t...”, he said.

“No, I feel the same way.”, she said, bringing her lips to his cheek and her head back down to his shoulder. “I feel the exact same way.”, she whispered.

  
  


The next morning, they woke up and she got right out of bed once the alarm went off. Her anxiety was going and she’d barely gotten any sleep. When she headed straight for the shower, Hotch walked in and dropped his boxers.

“Mind if I join you?”, he asked.

“Sure but no time for what you’re thinking.”, she said.

“Aww. Come on.”, he said, walking in and getting under the water, rinsing off.

“No.”, she said.

“Okay. But how come?”, he asked, rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck. She couldn’t help but smile and lean back into it.

“Because.”, she said, closing her eyes.

“Doesn’t sound like a good reason to me.”, he whispered in her ear.

“Shut up.”, she said, turning around and crashing her lips onto his.

“Mmmm I thought so.”, he chuckled.

“Don’t get so cocky.”, she said.

“Speaking of which...”, he looked down.

“Well what are you waiting for then?”, she asked.

After their shower, she rushed to get ready. She dried her hair and curled it, putting on Hotch’s favorite, her white eyeliner and a light eyeshadow. She put a decent amount of mascara on, making her long eyelashes extra noticeable. It wasn’t until she wore a pantsuit with a somewhat tight shirt that had a bit of a low rise to it that she realized she was _trying_ to look good. She almost smacked herself for it. She thought that Brayden must look older now. She hadn’t seen him in person for almost 10 years and she wanted to look good, she just didn’t know why. She put on her black boots and went over to Hotch who was grabbing their guns from the safe and handed hers over. She put it on her holster and ran out to grab her bag.

“Aaron. We’re gonna be late, come on.”, she said.

“No, we’re not.”, he said.

“Come on!”, she said.

“Em, calm down.”, he laughed.

“Shut up. Let’s go.”, she said.

“Oh my god, give me just a second, babe.”, he said.

“No.”, she said.

He rolled his eyes and walked out, grabbing his briefcase before they headed out the door.

Once they got to work, Emily looked all around for Brayden and down at her watch. He would be there in five minutes and she was getting nervous. After a few minutes of sitting at her desk and fiddling with her pen, Hotch came down to her. Almost everybody was helping Rossi set up for his program he was starting for the students coming in. With nobody there, Hotch put his hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, you’re not getting any work done. Are you alright? You’re acting really fidgety.”, he said.

“Yeah, I-“, she started and all of sudden she heard Brayden’s voice from the hall and spun around in her chair. She saw him push the doors open and walked straight towards her. She shot up out of her chair before he could notice Hotch’s hand on her back. She looked straight at him and he walked slowly towards her with a huge grin on his face. She was wrong before. He didn’t look much older, he looked like he was in his early to mid 50’s but he was actually almost 60. She thought he looked _great_ in general. He had a nice, tight, shorter, stylish suit on, a nice Rolex, and still a full head of hair, rare for his age. He was still skinny but not too skinny, just thin, yet fit and every bit as attractive as before. 

“ _Emily Prentiss_.”, Brayden said, walking up to her meeting her almost in the middle of the room. He grabbed and spun her around her once and kissed her cheek, making her blush. “Look at you. Beautiful as ever. Haven’t aged a day.”, he said.

“I could say the same about you. Still got your full head of excellent hair, still way taller than me. Plus, you’re still in _amazing_ shape, you look great, Braydy.”, she said.

He grabbed her face with both hands and stared in her eyes. “I missed you, Em.”, he said.

Suddenly, Hotch, having watched that whole exchange, was curious to know why Brayden was holding her face and giving her a kiss and calling her _Em_ . That was _Hotch’s_ thing.

“I missed you too.”, she smiled. She held onto his arms until she remembered Hotch standing there and knew what he must be feeling in that moment. “I’m sorry, how rude of me.”, she turned around and put her hand on Brayden’s back, not even thinking about it. “Brayden, this is my Unit Chief Ag-“, she started.

“Agent Hotchner.”, Brayden shook his hand.

“Agent Montgomery, how are you?”, Hotch said, trying to keep his cool and not punch him in the face. 

“Do you guys know each other?”, she asked.

“I guess you could say I was both of your teacher’s.”, Brayden laughed.

“What?”, she asked.

“I trained Agent Hotchner when he first started at the bureau, a couple years before I retired.”, he said.

“No way...”, Emily said, panicking even more.

“I’m sorry... _both_ of our teacher’s?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, after I retired from the bureau, I started teaching at Yale. I was Emily’s professor for her Criminology course.”, Brayden said, putting his hand on Emily’s back. She looked at Hotch and saw the fire in his eyes, knowing _for sure_ what he was thinking in that moment.

“You were her Criminology professor at Yale?”, Hotch asked, through his teeth.

“Yeah, one of my best students.”, he chuckled, looking down at her and smiling. She tried to play along but just felt awkward and blushed again, hoping Hotch wouldn’t notice but of course he did. 

But what he _didn’t_ notice was Brayden’s fingers tracing along Emily’s back in a very noticeable way to Emily that he was being a little more than friendly. 

“ _Really?_ ”, Hotch asked, staring at Emily.

“ _Definitely_.”, Brayden said, making Hotch clench his fists, realizing he was the professor Emily had mentioned she’d been in a relationship with when they were talking about it earlier that week. 

  
  



	63. Brayden

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 63**

  
***important side note and spoiler*: after the next chapter and there will be no more people messing up emily and hotch’s relationship in that way for the rest of the story and they work things out with each other next chapter and go back to normal after. just a heads up/reassurance.**   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Hotch became overwhelmed with rage and jealousy and confusion. Agent Montgomery, the man who trained him when he started at the FBI was also known as _Brayden_ to Emily. He was in a relationship with her. Hotch couldn’t get that out of his mind, along with the way that he was touching her and looking at her and the fact that he was _much_ older and supposedly married.

He wanted to pull Emily off to the side and ask her what the hell was going on but knew he had to wait. For the time being, he had to play it as cool as possible. 

“You two seem awfully close.”, Hotch said.

“You could say that.”, Brayden said.

“So what kept you in touch all these years?”, Hotch asked him.

“Like I said, she was one of my best students. I helped her get in touch with the right people, helped her through some of the steps she needed to take to get into the academy. Guess we just became pretty close, huh, Em?”, he said, still tracing all over her back with his fingers delicately. She was just glad Hotch couldn’t see that part or else he would literally jump Brayden.

“Uh- yeah, definitely. He helped me a lot. You know what?”, she said, turning to look at Brayden. “Why don’t I give you and your students that tour now?”, she said.

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll see you around today Hotchner.”, he said, taking his hand off Emily’s back. He followed her out to the lobby to meet the students that were supposed to be coming out of the elevator any minute. 

Hotch watched them walk out through the glass doors and once the doors closed, his hand went back to where it was before. He pulled her into his side and held her tight. But what he wasn’t expecting to see was her put her arm around him too and rub his side. It took everything in him not to walk through those doors and pull him off of her. 

Hotch stood in place and stared at them with his arms crossed. His brought one of his clenched fists up to his mouth and flared his nostrils.

“ _They seem close._ ”, Rossi said, coming up to Hotch out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry?”, Hotch turned to look at him.

“Prentiss and Montgomery.”, Rossi said.

“You know him?”, Hotch asked.

“Just met in the hallway. I know you guys go way back but... from the looks of it... so do they.”, Rossi said, glancing over at Hotch, noticing his irritability.

“Yeah, apparently he used to be one of her professor’s at Yale.”, Hotch said.

“Seems like a little more to me than that.”, Rossi said.

“Maybe.”, Hotch said.

“What do you think of that?”, Rossi asked, trying to read Hotch, knowing something was going on between him and Emily but wouldn’t say it.

“I have no opinion on it and even if I did, it wouldn’t really matter.”, Hotch said.

“Don’t you think maybe it speaks to her character? You know... if she was involved with someone that much older... her professor... authority figure...”, Rossi said, trying to get a reaction from Hotch.

“I think that she’s a great agent with exemplary skills and we shouldn’t be digging into her past.”, Hotch said.

“Riiight...”, Rossi nodded.

“Dave, I don’t know exactly what you’re insinuating but you should probably shut it down now.”, Hotch said, walking up to his office. 

Back out in the hallway, waiting for his students to arrive, Brayden stood next to Emily with their arms around each other still.

“Look at you!”, Brayden said, stepping in front of her, looking her up and down. “I mean you _really_ haven’t changed a bit.”, he said.

“Oh, trust me. I definitely have.”, she said.

“Not from where I’m standing.”, he said.

“Not just my looks. I was much different back then. I was a lot more innocent then.”, she said.

“I beg to differ.”, he smirked.

“Oh, shut up.”, she smacked his arm playfully and laughed.

“That laugh hasn’t changed a bit either.”, he said.

“I never said _everything_ has. But look at _you_. You really do look great.”, she smiled.

“Em, it’s been way too long. I’ve thought about you a lot lately...”, he said.

“Oh?”, she said.

“Yeah. You’re kind of hard to forget.”, he chuckled.

“How’s your wife?”, she asked, trying to change the topic.

“Actually... we’ve separated for about a year now. Going through some divorce papers right now actually.”, he said.

“ _What? Seriously?..._ I’m so sorry.”, she said.

“Yeah, lots of issues with that. Won’t go into everything right now. I’m just taking in the sight of _you_.”, he said.

“So how about _you_ then? Anyone new in _your_ life?”, she asked.

“No one _new_.”, he said, staring in her eyes.

“Aw come on Braydy.”, she said, bringing her hand to his face. “You better not be talking about me.”, she chuckled.

“Em. I-“, he started before the elevator doors opened and she dropped her hand from his face. His students walked out and came up to them. “Glad you all made it safe. Before we go to see Agent Rossi, Agent Prentiss here has offered to give us a full tour around the BAU.”, he said, looking over at her.

“Wait. _This_ is _Agent Prentiss?_ ”, one of the students asked.

Emily looked at Brayden, confused. “Yes. This is _the Agent Emily Prentiss._ ”, he said.

“Am I missing something?”, she asked.

“I might talk about you a little.”, he chuckled.

“I hope it’s all good things.”, she said, looking at everybody else.

“ _Definitely_ is.”, the same student said when another one elbowed him right after. 

She looked back over to Brayden who smiled at her and put his hand on her back, letting her know to lead the group. The first place she took everyone was in Garcia’s office. 

“Oh! Other fellow human beings in here, oh, oh, I love it! Hello!”, Garcia said.

“This is Penelope Garcia, our _amazing_ tech analyst. She’s really the glue that holds us all together.”, Emily said.

“Here, come, come. Gather.”, Garcia said as everyone walked over to her and she showed them her equipment and helped them look up some peoples records among many other devious things she does. Emily and Brayden stood off to the side, away from them. They both had their arms crossed and she nudged him with her elbow.

“So you talk about me, huh?”, she asked, biting her lip in a smile. She had to admit, it was fun flirting especially since that was just how their friendship was at that point but completely innocent. She liked teasing him but knew she’d never actually cross the line.

“ _Maybe_.”, he said, nudging her right back with a smirk.

“What do you say about me?”, she asked.

“Mmmmm... just how proud I am.”, he said.

“Of me?”, she asked with a smile, flattered.

“No, of myself.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“I’m just kidding. I am proud of myself for making you become such an amazing agent...”, he laughed, “... _but_... I’m also very proud of you for working so hard and how far you’ve come.”, he said.

“Did I ever thank you for how much you helped me?”, she asked.

“Uhhhh... I’d say every night you slept over at my place was good enough.”, he chuckled.

“Shhh! Don’t say that so loud.”, she whispered, nudging him again and giggling.

“You’re still so cute. That little giggle. I’m just glad I didn’t piss you off too much because now you have a _gun. Innocent_ Emily didn’t have one of those back then.”, he said.

“Pshh. _Nooo_...”, she said, trying to play it off, realizing the way he said it wasn’t playful flirting anymore but like he actually meant it.

“What did I always used to tell you?”, he asked.

“There were a lot of things you used to always tell me. Some I don’t think I should say aloud with other people in the room.”, she laughed.

“No. Not that. I mean... stop doubting yourself with everything and also... just accept the good things that come your way instead of trying to fight them off. You used to do that a lot and I see that _also_ hasn’t changed. I thought I taught you better.”, he said.

“You did. You always made me feel better about myself.”, she smiled.

He brought his hand to her back and ran his finger up her spine, making her shudder. “I see _that_ still makes you feel good.”, he smirked.

She let out a quiet nervous laugh. “We should probably keep moving if you want to finish the tour before your thing.”, she said.

He nodded and walked over to everybody, gathering them and heading out of Garcia’s office. She walked them all around showing them everything until there was nothing left.

“Well, I guess that’s it. Did you guys have any questions for me? I know you’ll be able to talk to Agent Rossi soon but I can be a bit nicer. Don’t tell him I said that.”, she laughed.

“I have one.”, Brayden said. She rolled her eyes and waited for him to ask it. “Why don’t we introduce them to the Unit Chief? Another person I trained. He’d be a really good resource for some questions they might have. Besides... I’d like to show off another one of my very successful students.”, he laughed. 

“Oh- I uh- I don’t know, he’s probably busy.”, she said.

“He’s here because of me. He can make time.”, he said. 

“Okay... sure.”, she said, leading the way. 

They approached his office and she knocked on his door. “Come in.”, Hotch said without looking up until he noticed Emily walking in. “Em-ily...”, he said, almost slipping up once he saw everyone else walk up. “What can I do for you guys?”, he asked, standing from his desk and coming around to the other side.

“Some of Brayden’s students had some questions for you if you have any time right now.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, yeah, come in.”, he said, greeting each student.

Emily made room for them and walked back over to Brayden in the doorway. “Thank you for doing this.”, he said, scooting closer to her.

“I have you to thank for my whole career. It’s the least I could do. Besides, more time I get to spend with you.”, she smiled.

“I always like _that_. Speaking of which, tonight, shall I come pick you up for dinner?”, he asked. 

“No, no. I’ll come get you.”, she said.

“Alright. And uh...”, he leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, “I have a surprise for you tonight.”

Emily didn’t even notice that Hotch was staring at them when Brayden leaned in closer. But he was not happy. “Oh yeah?”, she asked.

“When have I ever come to see you or had you come to see me and not had a surprise for you?”, he said.

“I guess I forgot. It’s been so long.”, she said.

“Well this’ll make up for all that lost time then.”, he said.

“Just you being here is good enough.”, she said. They stared at each other, smiling for a minute before one of his students caught his attention.

“Mr. Montgomery, I think it’s time for Agent Rossi’s talk now.”, they said. 

“Alright, you guys go ahead, I’ll come in in just a minute.”, Brayden said as the students walked out.

“Agent Hotchner, thank you for-“, Brayden started.

“Please, _Aaron_ is just fine.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, thank you for taking some time today to talk to them. I think they were able to really get something out of it and hopefully this talk right now they’re going to. I just hope some of them can become just as successful as you and Emily here.”, Brayden said.

“Of course. If they have any other questions or anything at all before they leave today, just let me know. I’ll make time for them.”, Hotch said.

“I appreciate that. Well, I’m gonna go join them but Em, will you be attending my lecture?”, Brayden asked.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”, she said.

“Good. I’ll see you in there in a couple hours.”, he said.

“Oh, why don’t I join you for Dave’s talk right now.”, she said, turning around.

“Actually, Emily, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go over a report with you.”, Hotch said, reeling her back in his office.

“Umm, sure.”, she said. “I’ll see you at your lecture in a couple hours.”, she told Brayden, rubbing his back as he walked out. 

Hotch got up and walked over to the door, locking it once it was closed and shut the blinds on his windows. He leaned back against his desk and stared at Emily, waiting to see if she would say anything. Instead, she walked over to him, in between his legs, pressed up against him as close as she could be, and put her hands on his face.

“Honey, I know what you must be thinking.”, she said.

“I don’t think you do, Em...”, he said, wrapping his hands around her waist.

“Okay, so tell me.”, she said.

“That’s the ex you were talking about the other night! He’s the same person who trained me right before he became your professor. That part is a little weird for me. Especially knowing you slept with him.”, he said.

“I slept with Derek and I see him and work with him everyday. Brayden is only here for a day or two.”, she said.

“You didn’t just _sleep with him._ You had a relationship for like a year almost. And seeing him with his hands all over you and you blushing like that... it really pisses me off.”, he said.

“Did _I_ piss you off?”, she asked, dropping her head.

“No, sweetie.”, he said, bringing her chin up to look at him and gave her a kiss. “I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at _him_.”

“Aaron, you have to stop being so jealous. He’s not just an ex of mine. He’s my friend. We’re friends. I’ve known him a really long time and he knows me really well. Yes, sure, he flirts a bit but it’s all playful. It’s completely innocent.”, she said.

“Emily, I’ve gotta be honest and say it makes me really uncomfortable seeing him kiss you and rub your back and hold your face, telling you that he misses you like the way he did earlier. The way he talked about you being one of his best students when he said, “ _definitely_ ” and smiled at you... that makes me _really_ uncomfortable.”, he said.

“He doesn’t mean it like that.”, she said.

“Dave asked me about it... what was I supposed to say? I think he’s already catching on to our relationship. And now this is getting dragged into it and bringing more attention to it. Oh and not to mention the fact that he calls you _Em_ still.”, he said. “He’s just way too flirtatious and seems to be crossing a lot of boundaries.”, he said.

“Well, I don’t feel that way.”, she said.

“Em, how can you be so oblivious?!”, Hotch almost yelled. She stopped and dropped her hands from his face, taking his hands off her waist and backing up with tears in her eyes. “Honey, I didn’t mean it like that. Em, I’m really sorry.”, he stood up as she backed up more. “Sweetie, please. I didn’t mean to say that.”, he said, reaching out for her.

“You really think I’m stupid?”, she asked, her voice wobbly.

“No! Of course not. I never said that.”, he said, walking up to her but she put her hand up.

“You called me _oblivious_ , Aaron.”, she said.

“I- I didn’t mean to-“, he started.

“No. You never mean to do anything. You never think before you speak. That’s your problem and then you always feel sorry for hurting my feelings. Maybe you should take a moment first before you _talk out of your ass!_ ”, she said.

“ _Emily! Please._ ”, he begged.

“Do you not trust me? Is that what this is? You think I’m too oblivious to see what his “ _true intentions_ ” are and that I wouldn’t stop anything from happening if it did? Or do you not trust me to pay closer attention to things he does and says? I didn’t need to be a profiler to know him and what his words and actions meant even back then when we first met. So now, after all these years, I’m able to read him pretty well.”, she said.

“Emily, he’s trying to-“, he started.

“No! You don’t get to talk about him anymore in that sense. And stop trying to just apologize and cover it up. Say what you’re really thinking, Aaron.”, she said.

“Fine! I think you _are_ oblivious to what he’s doing and how he feels about you! I trust you with my life, hun but _right now_ , I _don’t_ trust your judgment! I think you’re being ridiculous and unreasonable about this and I don’t see you stopping him from flirting with you and touching you and you do it back! And _that_ surprised me! And honestly?!... Yes! I am kind of pissed at you right now too!”, he yelled. 

“Fuck you!”, she yelled at him, holding back tears that had unfortunately started to fall already and walked out of his office, slamming the door.

She started speed walking down the catwalk towards the bathroom, sniffling along the way. Brayden, sitting by the doorway of the room they were in, saw her walk by and had heard the slam and walked out. He saw her go into the bathroom and debated whether he should wait for her to come out or go in anyways. He chose the latter.

Emily slammed the bathroom door open and checked to see if there was anybody in there before she let herself lean over a sink and let it all out. Within less than a minute, Brayden walked in and locked the door behind him.

“Brayden, what the hell are you doing in here?”, she asked, trying to dry her tears off before he could see them. But he knew her too well and it was obvious she was crying seeing as tears were still coming out.

“Em, what happened? Are you okay?”, he asked, concerned, walking over to her. He rubbed her back and she stopped fighting to hold back her tears. 

Suddenly all emotions came flooding to the surface from the past month and everything she’d gone through. She felt weak in her knees and couldn’t hold herself up anymore. As she let herself drop down to ground against the wall, Brayden caught her and stayed there with her, not even trying to stand up. He just held her there and squeezed her tight, sitting on the bathroom floor.

“Em, what’s wrong?”, he asked but she just sobbed. “Okay, okay.”, he said, stroking her hair. He kissed the top of her head and she just continued to cry in his arms. He nuzzled his head against the side of hers and kept holding onto her tight for the next 20 minutes until she felt she had run out of tears. She grasped his arm and brought it closer into her. “There you are.”, he said, rubbing her arm. “What _happened?_ ”, he asked.

“I don’t- I don’t wanna talk about it.”, she said.

“Emily.”, he said.

“A lot of stuff was just... built up...”, she said.

“What triggered it right now?”, he asked.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”, she said.

“Okay. Okay. Tell me what built up then.”, he said.

“I got pregnant and-“, she blurted out and held back more tears.

“Oh sweetie.”, he held her tighter and kissed her head again. 

“And... I wanted to keep it but... I knew I couldn’t right now and... so I made the choice not to.”, she cried.

“Em, it’s okay. You had every right to make that decision.”, he said.

“I know I just didn’t wanna have to.”, she cried.

“Are you with the guy? Is it serious?”, he asked.

“Yes. I know I told you I wasn’t seeing anyone but... I- we live together and he has a kid already who stays with us on the weekends and I love him, he’s the sweetest thing ever. He made me realize that I _do_ want a baby. But I just can’t right now but ever since the procedure... I keep wondering if I made a mistake. He wanted so badly to keep it. I feel like I let him down and myself even though he said he’d support me no matter what but I still feel guilty...”, she said.

“Is it Aaron?”, he asked.

Having no energy to hide it or cover it up or act surprised, she took a deep breath and sighed, “Yeah.”

“Is that what triggered you just now? You were in his office, talking with him. Did you guys get in a fight?”, he asked. He felt her nod against his chest. “Was it about that?”, he asked.

“No. Something completely different. I _really don’t_ wanna talk about it.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, rubbing her arm and kissing her head. “I’m right here.”

“Thank you, Braydy.”, she quietly giggled.

“It’s still cute even now when you call me that.”, he smiled, not that she could even see it but she knew he was. She nuzzled into him more in response. 

As he continued stroking her hair, he didn’t want to mess up her curls and brushed it to the side. He moved the hand that was stroking her hair to around, in front, holding her closer. He brought his head back down next to hers. She could feel his breath on her neck and chest, trying to ignore it until he brought his lips to her neck softly for a few kisses. He didn’t do anything more and just rested his forehead against the side of hers. They sat in silence for a few minutes with their eyes closed, blocking everything else out until his phone got a text.

“You should check that.”, she said.

“It’s okay.”, he said.

“Wait what time is your lecture?”, she asked, starting to sit up more.

“It’s not for another hour.”, he said, pulling her back into his arms.

“You can’t be late.”, she said, grabbing his arms, holding on.

“I won’t be. But right now, I don’t have anywhere more important to be than right here.”, he said.

“I’m sorry. It was supposed to be fun. You coming out here. It was supposed to be _fun_. We were supposed to have a nice time.”, she said.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve held you in my arms. I wish it were under better circumstances but I’m just glad I can be here for you right now. And I’d still like to treat you to dinner tonight if you feel up to it.”, he said.

“Definitely.”, she said.

“I’ve really missed this...”, he said quietly.

“Me too...”, she said quietly.

“I never stopped loving you...”, he whispered. 

Without any hesitation, the words came right out of her mouth, “Me neither...”, she whispered. He placed a few more gentle kisses on her neck, one on her cheek and one on the side of her head. He placed his forehead against the side of hers again.

“But you’re with him now. You’re in love with him.”, he said.

“Yes... I- I'll always have a place for you in my heart but I love _him._ I'm sorry it's not the same way you meant it...”, she said.

“Okay.”, he choked back some tears of his own. 

She reached for one of his hands on her and interlaced her fingers with his, squeezing tight. She brought it up to her lips and kissed it before dropping it back down.

“Can you promise me something?”, she asked.

“Anything.”, he said.

“Don’t leave me again. Stay in my life more regularly. I need more friends around here.”, she said.

“I was gonna wait till tonight to tell you but I got a new job. At Georgetown.”, he said.

“Wait. You’re moving here?”, she asked, scooting around to face him with a big smile on her face.

“Yeah.”, he smiled.

“When?!”, she asked.

“A few weeks.”, he said.

“You’re really moving here?”, she asked.

“I’m _really_ moving here.”, he said.

“Oh my god! Congratulations!”, she said, grabbing him for a hug.

“Maybe now _was_ a good time to tell you. I love seeing that smile.”, he said.

“Why are you taking _me_ out for dinner tonight? It should be me taking _you_ out to celebrate.”, she said, pulling back to look at him. He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, stroking her cheek.

“Because it’s my treat. I don’t care what you say. _My_ treat.”, he said.

They stared at each other and looked from their lips to their eyes. Without realizing it, they closed the gap between their mouths till their lips were pressed against each other’s. Less than 2 seconds later, she pulled away quick and looked at him surprised.

“I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t- I should get back to work.”, she said, standing up quick.

“Em. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was in the moment, I wasn’t thinking.”, he said, standing up.

“Neither was I.”, she said.

“Em, come here.”, he said, opening his arms as she started crying, gladly wrapping hers around him. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have let it happen. It lasted like 1 second. Can we just pretend that never happened?”, he asked and she nodded. 

Another minute later, he grabbed some toilet paper and wiped the tears off her face. “Okay. Get back out there.”, he said. He rubbed her back as she opened the door and they both walked out. He went back to the room he was in before and she walked to Hotch’s Office.

Without even knocking on the door, she walked into his office and locked the door behind her. He looked up at her and went over to her, pulling her in for a big hug.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean what I said.”, she told him.

“I know. Me too.”, he said, holding onto her tight.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes before grabbing his face and placing her lips on his and resting her head over his shoulder again.

“I love you so much.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt wash over her and froze after she said that, thinking how he would never do that to her. She didn't feel she deserved to tell him she loves him after what she had just done but ignored it for the time being and stared straight ahead, barely able to focus on his touch.

  
  



	64. Guilt and Forgiveness

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**Chapter 64**

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**parts of this chapter are based off the episode “minimal loss”**

***important side note and spoiler*: after this chapter and there will be no more people messing up emily and hotch’s relationship in that way for the rest of the story and they work things out with each other in this chapter and go back to normal in the next one. just a heads up/reassurance.**

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At the end of the day, Emily was packing up her things for the day and was about to head up to Hotch’s office. As she slung her bag around her shoulder, Brayden walked up to her.

“Hey... how are you feeling?”, he asked.

“Umm better. Thanks.”, she said, barely making eye contact with him.

“Listen, Em, I’m sorry about earlier. That was-“, he said.

“Something we should just not talk about anymore.”, she said.

“Alright... can I still take you out to dinner tonight?”, he asked.

“You know, I think I’m gonna stay home with Aaron tonight. After our argument earlier... I’d rather not make him upset by leaving to go to dinner with you.”, she said.

“It was about me, wasn’t it? The fight.”, he said.

“Yeah...”, she sighed.

“Got it... well... I don’t really wanna say goodbye right now.”, he said.

“I’m going to Colorado tomorrow for a case that me and only one other person here are working. It should only take the day. Grab a coffee before you leave once I get back if you stick around?”, she asked.

“I’d like that. I’ll uh- I’ll see you when you get back.”, he said. He decided not to give her a hug and just smiled before walking out.

She sighed and took a moment before walking up to Hotch’s office. She stepped in and saw him picking up his briefcase, all ready to go.

“Hey, that was fast.”, she said.

“Didn’t wanna keep you waiting. Everyone’s already outta here, seems like it was late enough.”, he said, walking over to her. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek as they walked out the door. “Let’s go home. Today has been way too long.”

After they got home and changed into their pajamas, Emily set her alarm for 4:00 am. “Honey, you don’t have to go to bed early with me.”, she said.

“I am _exhausted_. I’m not just going to bed early because you are.”, Hotch laughed.

“Ughh I hate having to wake up that early. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a commercial flight. It sucks Reid and I can’t take the jet.”, she pouted and gave Hotch the puppy dog eyes, getting in bed next to him.

“Unfortunately, that one isn’t up to me but I’m picking you guys back up tomorrow night when you get in.”, he said.

“I guess that’s good enough.”, she said, snuggling up to him.

“This’ll be the first case you’re working where I won’t be there. Going solo.”, he said.

“I’m not going solo, I have Reid. Besides it’s barely even a case. We’re just going to interview some kids at the ranch. I’m sure it’ll only take a few hours and then Reid and I will just go grab some food till our flight.”, she said.

“Maybe that’ll be nice. Not having to be with the whole team. Have a little space. Spend some time with one other person. I know you and Reid have gotten closer. Maybe add him on your short list of friends now?”, Hotch said.

“Yeah, we have. He wasn’t the nicest to me when I first started but I think he just had some adjusting to do and then the whole drug- I’m sorry.”, she said.

“I’d forgotten about that... I don’t want to know specifics. But how is he doing?”, Hotch asked.

“One hundred percent better. For a while now.”, she said.

“Good. That’s all I need to know.”, he said. “Oh and... I’m sorry about... Brayden earlier. This time it wasn’t just me being jealous though. I saw the way he looked at you. It’s one thing to playfully flirt but the way he looked at you... I was really uncomfortable with that.”, he said.

Emily started to feel guilty again. She’d put the kiss out of her mind for a couple hours finally but then... he brought it up again.

“It’s fine. I totally get it. I got jealous of you and Kate and you guys didn’t even have a history in that sense. But it’s done now. He’s leaving soon. And I need to sleep so I love you.”, she kissed him and turned around, letting a tear fall.

“Oh- okay. Goodnight, sweetie. I love you too...”, he said, caught off guard by how abrupt she was. He kissed her ear and curled up behind her, hugging her side.

Hotch was fast asleep until he felt Emily start to toss and turn. He opened his eyes once he heard her whisper something. 

“Em?”, he said.

“No... Ian... What do you... I can’t... Why...”, she mumbled. When she turned to Hotch again and her eyes were closed, he could tell she was dreaming. 

“Em.”, Hotch whispered, trying to gently wake her up.

“I’m sorry, Aaron... I didn’t... please... it... Aaron... I’m sorry...”, she mumbled.

“Em. Wake up.”, he whispered, tapping her lightly.

“No... Ian... stop... Don’t hurt him... Please... Don’t... Aaron... Aaron... stay... Aaron... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”, she mumbled.

“Em, wake up.”, he whispered again, rubbing her side.

“Aaron... don’t go... Ian, stop... Aaron... wait...”, she mumbled and started raising her voice and moving around more, gripping the sheets tight. “Aaron... watch out! No! Aaron... I’m sorry...”

“Emily, wake up.”, he said a bit louder and shook her a bit. By the way she was speaking and moving around, he could tell she was having a nightmare

“No! Why did you- no! Ian...why did-“, she started saying loudly, not quite yelling but enough for Hotch to know he needed to wake her up.

“Emily! Wake up! Em!”, he said shaking her carefully.

She jolted awake and sat up fast, taking in a huge breath. “Aaron?”, she asked, turning her head as he sat up next to her.

“Em, what the-“, he started before she grabbed him and hugged him tight. “Sweetie, are you okay?”, he asked.

“I’m just glad you’re right here.”, she said and pulled back. She put her hand on his face and kissed him deep. 

“Yeah, I’m right here... let me make you some tea, okay?”, he said, getting up and helping her out of bed with him.

He went into the kitchen and made her a cup of tea while she sat on the couch, calming down. He walked over to her and placed a coaster down before handing her the mug. 

“That seemed like a pretty bad nightmare.”, he said as he sat down right next to her.

“Yeah, can’t say it was great.”, she said, taking a sip of tea.

“Who’s Ian?”, he asked. Emily choked on her drink when he said that. “Whoa, hun, are you okay?”, he asked, putting his hand on her back and the other on her knee.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just uh... still kind of hot.”, she lied.

“Who’s Ian?”, he asked, setting her tea down.

“Nobody. I uh- I don’t know anyone named Ian.”, she said.

“You kept saying his name in your sleep.”, he said.

“I did?”, she asked.

“Yeah and mine. And you kept apologizing.”, he said.

“Really...?”, she said, suddenly thinking of something she had to apologize for.

“ _Yeah_. What happened?”, he asked.

“I don’t remember a lot. Just that you got hurt and it was my fault.”, she said, starting to cry.

“Oh, Honey.”, he said, rubbing her arm, bringing her into his arms and rubbing her back. “It was just a dream.”, he said.

“But it wasn’t... Not completely.”, she whispered.

“Yes, it was. You were just dreaming. I’m not hurt. I’m fine. And it could never be your fault if I get hurt.”, he said, kissing her head.

“That’s not true...”, she said, pulling away and holding his hands. She looked down and he took one hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“What are you talking about? I’m fine.”, he said.

“No, I mean... it _could_ be my fault if you ever get hurt.”, she said.

“I can’t see how that could possibly happen.”, he laughed.

“Aaron, I fucked up.”, she said.

“What? What do you mean?”, he asked.

“You were right about Brayden...”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“We kissed.”, she said, her heart beating out of her chest.

“You what...”, he whispered. He gently pulled his hands away from hers and she could see pain written all over his face. 

“It was only for a second. I pulled away right after, I swear!”, she said. She looked straight in his eyes and saw tears forming and he was speechless. “Aaron-“, she started after a long silence, reaching for his hand which he pulled away from her.

“You- you _kissed_ him?”, he asked, standing up and backing away.

“I didn’t mean to do it, I stopped right away!”, she said.

“Why did you- why?”, he asked, a single tear running down his face and his eyebrows furrowed, obviously in pain.

“I don’t know! It was just in the moment and-“, she said.

“ _In the moment?_ Why was there even a moment?”, he asked.

“I was upset and he was comforting me and our faces were just close and it just happened but I swear it didn’t mean anything!”, she cried, tears pouring down her face.

“ _Didn’t mean anything?_ You kissed him...”, he said.

“I know! But it _didn’t mean anything_.”, she said.

“Do you still have feelings for him?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I love you.”, she said, standing up.

“ _Emily_ . Do you _still have feelings for him?_ ”, he asked again.

“No. I’ll always love him and have a place for him in my heart but I don’t still have feelings for him. He was the first person I’ve ever loved. He played a huge role in me getting my life started and to where I’m at now. He taught me a lot. He was there for me and with me through a lot and I’ve known him for so long. I’ll always have love for him. But I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I’m not _in_ love with him like I am with _you_.”, she said, walking forward, reaching for him but he stepped back and looked down.

“If you don’t feel that way for him... why would you do it?”, he looked back up at her with more tears. “I thought we were okay finally. I thought things were back to normal since everything that happened recently .”, he said.

“We are! They are!”, she said.

“Apparently we’re not... not if you’re going around kissing your ex boyfriend.”, he said.

“We just had a fight and I went to the bathroom and he came in aft-“, she said and he put his hand up.

“He came in after you to the bathroom?”, he asked.

“Yeah, just to see if I was okay.”, she said.

“So you guys were all alone?”, he asked.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“How long was he _comforting you?_ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know... I didn’t look at the time.”, she said.

“What exactly happened?”, he asked.

“He came in, asked if I was okay when he saw me crying, I dropped to the ground and he caught me and... held me. We just sat for a while and he let me cry it out.”, she said.

“He _held_ you? Like the way _I_ hold you when you’re upset?”, he asked, wiping away old tears as new ones started coming down.

“It didn’t _mean_ the same.”, she said.

“So he didn’t stroke your hair and hold you tight and kiss your neck or your head or anywhere else? Because that’s what _I_ do and _I’m in love with you_. So tell me he didn’t do any of those things and I’ll believe that it didn’t mean the same.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“No.”, he shook his head, starting to walk into the bedroom.

“Aaron, Honey-“, she said, panicking and ran after him.

“Stop.”, he said, grabbing his phone and placed it in the pockets of his sweatpants. 

“Please don’t leave. Let me just-“, she said as he grabbed a jacket and shoes, putting them on.

“ _Emily_...”, he said quietly, warning her as he walked past her out of the closet.

“He kissed my neck but I didn’t think it-“, she started.

“Dammit, Emily!”, he yelled and threw a picture frame across the room that he was staring at on their dresser. He turned around to her and had more tears streaming down his face only to see the exact same on hers. “I don’t want to hear it!”, he said, walking out of their room and to the front door.

“Aaron, wait!”, she cried, running to the door and blocking it.

“Emily, move.”, he tried to say as calmly as possible.

Standing against the door, she brought her hand to his face and her other to his jacket. “Honey, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Can we just-“, she said before he took her hands off him and tried to move for the door handle.

“Emily. Move.”, he said again.

“Weren’t you the one who just told me yesterday that you’ll love me and never leave me no matter what happens and we can work out anything?”, she said.

“I _do_ love you. I’m not _leaving_ you but... I just can’t be near you right now so please... move.”, he said.

“Where are you even gonna go? Are you gonna come back tonight?”, she asked.

“Not if _you’re_ here.”, he said, grabbing his keys and walking out the door once she stepped off to the side, slamming it behind him.

Emily wiped the tears off her face and walked to the bedroom, waiting for them to all come flooding out. She went to the bathroom and grabbed the trash can, walking out to the broken glass by their bed. She bent down and picked up the pieces, throwing them in the trash. She grabbed the picture frame and looked at it and finally the tears came. 

She stared at it for a while, letting them pour out. She looked at the picture Carson took of them on their first real date at the art gallery. Seeing how happy they were that night together, they held each other close when they smiled for the camera. It was the first night he called her _hun_ and made her realize how nice it felt to be able to openly say that. She remembered how they felt like a normal couple for the first time, how everything felt perfect for the first time, how nothing was bad in their life for the first time and they were together. They were happy.

She set it down and put the trash back in the bathroom and got in bed. She grabbed her phone and texted him, knowing he wouldn’t answer her phone call. 

“ _Can you at least tell me where you are or where you’re staying tonight so I know you’re safe?_ ”, she sent him.

Before she could set her phone down, he texted her back immediately.

“ _I’m at Carson’s._ ”, he replied. 

She was relieved and didn’t want to push it but knew she wouldn’t get to see him until the following night. She needed to know when they could talk.

“ _When can we talk?_ ”, she texted.

“ _Have a safe flight._ ”, he sent back.

She stared at the text from him that didn’t answer her question, leaving her more frustrated and making her cry more. Not even saying ‘ _I love you_ ’, is what really broke her heart. She set her phone down and cried herself to sleep, feeling guilt which she knew she deserved and lonely and scared of how they’d get through this and if he’d ever forgive her.

The next morning, Hotch woke up with a pounding headache. He opened his eyes and found himself lying on a couch.

“Mornin’. How’s some of my world famous, five star rating, hangover breakfast sound to you?”, Carson chuckled, walking over to the coffee table and setting a plate and fork down for Hotch.

“Stop yelling.”, Hotch said, sitting up and rubbing his head. 

“Okay, you eat up now.”, Carson laughed, going to the kitchen and grabbing a cup of coffee. 

“Ughh why the hell am I here?”, Hotch asked.

“You really want me to answer that?”, Carson asked, handing him the coffee.

“Maybe?”, Hotch said.

“You and Emily got in a fight... she kissed her ex... you stormed out... ring any bells now?”, Carson said.

“Got it. Yeah. Unfortunately.”, Hotch said.

“What are you gonna do?”, Carson asked.

“I don’t know. I just told her the day before that I love her and I’ll never leave her no matter what happens. That I’m not going anywhere and we can work anything out.”, Hotch said.

“Did you mean it?”, Carson asked. 

“Of course I meant it. I just don’t know what to do about this. I know she regrets it and I believe her when she says she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore. She was in a vulnerable place and she is responsible for her actions, I know. But he also took advantage of that. He took advantage of her. He shouldn’t have done that. I can tell what this is going to do to her, what it already has. When she gets stressed, she gets nightmares. Especially when she feels guilty about something. I hate it. I hate seeing her like this. I know she’s the one who screwed up this time but I hate seeing her upset like this still. But I’m also so _mad_ at her!”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. Yeah, you have every right to be. But can I point out one thing? Not that I’m trying to defend her but... Look at how _you guys_ got started.”, Carson said. 

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be surprised that my girlfriend kissed someone else because of the way we got started?”, Hotch asked.

“No, man. I’m saying... ever think of how she felt, knowing you went home every night to your wife and gave _her_ a kiss before bed every night? Had a family with her, lived with her, could go out in public and tell people you were with her? Did you ever think of how she felt knowing _you_ were with someone else?”, Carson said.

“That’s completely different. Haley was my wife.”, Hotch said.

“Exactly. She wasn’t an ex. It wasn’t a mistake every time you gave her a kiss. And it meant something. She was your wife. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that. I know that, you know that, Emily knows that. That’s probably why she never said anything. But my guess is that it still bothered her knowing that you did do that. It bothered her that you were with someone else just like it did when she was with that Derek guy you mentioned.”, Carson said.

“What’s your point?”, Hotch asked, confused.

“My point is... Emily did a stupid thing and she feels awful about it. She regrets it. But it didn’t mean anything. And it’s not going to happen again and she loves _you_. You’re hurt. Am I right?”, Carson asked.

“Well... _yeah!_ ”, Hotch said.

“So imagine how she felt when you were still with Haley. That’s what I’m saying. Even though you weren’t cheating on Emily, watching the man that she loved go home to another woman and kiss her before bed every night must have hurt a lot. For _months_ . But she never said anything because that was your wife and it wasn’t wrong of you but it. _Still_ . _Hurt_ . _Her_.”, Carson said.

“I’m way too hungover to think about this right now. She’s in Colorado for today, I don’t have to see her until tonight when I get her from the airport.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, well, eat up. You still gotta go home and get to work.”, Carson said.

Hotch finished eating, checked his phone, threw up once, got his shoes, and headed home. When he got there, he went into their bedroom and saw all the glass picked up and the picture still in the frame, set on their dresser. He took off all his clothes, leaving them on the floor, not even caring, and took a shower. When he got out, he threw up again before getting changed, leaving his tie a little extra loose.

He got to work on time surprisingly enough and went straight for his office, shutting the blinds and pulling out a bottle of Tylenol on his desk. After 3 hours of barely getting any work done, JJ knocked on his door.

“Come in.”, he said. She walked in and closed the door behind her, standing in place with wide eyes. “Hey, JJ. What do you need?”, he asked, looking down at his work.

“Aaron.”, she said.

“What?”, he said, still writing. After no response, he looked up at her. 

“It’s Emily.”, she said.

Once she said her name he sighed and looked back down, continuing his work. “Yeah, what about her?”, he asked, irritated.

“Aaron.”, JJ said to get his attention again. He looked back up at her and saw the worry in her eyes. “It’s Emily and Reid.”

“What happened?”, he asked.

“The investigation they’re doing in Colorado-“, JJ swallowed.

“JJ, what happened? Is she okay?”, he asked, standing up.

“There was a raid and standoff and... now they’re... being held there...”, JJ said. Hotch immediately packed everything up and slipped his suit jacket on, and practically ran to the door.

“Aaron. You can’t go out there like this.”, she said.

“JJ, we need to go now.”, he said.

“You need to calm down first.”, she said.

“We got in a really bad fight last night. I stormed out and spent the night at my friend’s. I don’t want my last words to her being “ _Not if you’re here._ ”, I can’t-“, he said.

“I know. She called me. But you need to pull yourself together.”, she said.

They waited a minute before they walked back out and gathered everybody to get on the jet and head to Colorado. 

Once they arrived, they had everything set up and put together with other agents and negotiations. Hotch stood outside, pacing when JJ walked up to him. 

“We’re gonna get her out.”, she said.

“You don’t know that.”, he said.

“Emily and Reid are our number one priority. They’re skilled FBI agents. Even though they can’t hear us to give them instructions, they’ve figured out a way to communicate with us with all the stuff Rossi brought in.”, she said.

“Yeah, I know! I just listened to that man beating the shit out of her!”, he almost cried. “JJ, I can’t stand here and-“, he said.

“You have to... We will get her out. She’s going to be okay.”, she said.

“ _JJ_ . She’s _hurt_.”, he said, rolling his lips in. 

“I know...”, she said.

Once it was finally dark, Hotch walked away from the group and stood alone watching the building where Emily and Reid were being held at Liberty Ranch. Breaking the silent moment he had, Rossi walked up.

“What are you thinking?”, he asked.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen if we can’t get them out.”, Hotch said.

“She’s gonna be okay.”, Rossi said.

“What?”, Hotch looked over him.

“Prentiss. Don’t worry. We’ll get her.”, Rossi said.

“And Reid.”, Hotch said, trying to take attention away from him focusing on just Emily, seeing as how obvious it was that Rossi knew Hotch was upset about Emily specifically. 

“Yeah, of course but... _Emily_ will be fine too.”, Rossi said, giving him a reassuring look. Hotch could tell that he knew the level he cared for Emily on. But neither of them spoke of it directly. Instead, Hotch just looked in front of him again. Rossi patted his back and walked off. 

“Hotch! We’ve got something!”, Derek called out and he ran right over. “It’s Prentiss. She’s talking to us.”

“Go! Signal to her when we’re coming!”, Hotch ordered.

“I told you.”, JJ whispered.

“I know. But until she’s out here, she’s not safe. They’re planning a mass suicide... I need her out of there _now_.”, he said through his teeth.

A few hours later, they all got ready to go into the church and rescue as many people as they could. Hotch put on his vest and started walking with everyone before JJ pulled him back.

“JJ let go of me.”, Hotch said.

“I’m sorry. But... you can’t go in there. We need you out here. Emily needs you out here.”, she said.

“No. I need to go get her.”, he said.

“You need to stay out here.”, she said as they watched everyone run into the building. 

They waited for a few minutes until there was an explosion in the building and they didn’t see anyone come yet. Hotch started to run forward before JJ pulled him back again.

“JJ!”, he said.

“Aaron! Don’t!”, she said.

“She hasn’t come out yet! None of them are out yet!”, he looked back at her.

“They will. They’ll-“, she stopped, looking up ahead at women and children running out in a line. Hotch turned his head and saw Rossi coming out with them. 

“Where is she? I don’t see her. I don’t see, Emily!”, he said, looking back at her, frantic.

“She’s right there!”, JJ said, relieved. “But you can’t run up yet.”, she said.

He waited, with JJ gripping his arm, preventing him from running up to Emily. He watched Spencer and Derek walk out of the building and Emily cry, bringing them in for a hug. Once she turned around, she saw him and he walked behind the trailer, where nobody was. He leaned back on it and put his face in his hands, crying like he never had before. 

“Aaron...”, Emily said, walking around the corner. He looked up at her with tears streaming down his face. 

“Em.”, he said, grabbing her and pulling her in for a tight hug. He held the back of her head to his chest and wrapped his other arm around her body.

“I’m so sorry.”, she cried.

“No. Don’t apologize. Just- oh my god. Em, I thought _you_ got blown up this time.”, he said.

“No, I’m right here.”, she said, crying into his chest.

“Yes. Yes, you are. It took everything in me not to run in there for you. I was so worried. Don’t ever do that to me again.”, he said.

“I’ll try my best.”, she said.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her. “Sweetie...”, he said, seeing all the blood on her from Cyrus hurting her. 

“I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”, she said.

“What did he do to you?”, he asked, tearing up again.

“I’ll be fine.”, she said.

“Hun, you have a black eye and bruise on your face, there’s blood all over you. You’re holding your side which leads me to believe you probably cracked a couple ribs. I’m taking you to the hospital when we get back and don’t fight me on that. No more fighting of any kind.”, he said.

“Deal. But I do wanna finish our talk when we get home.”, she said.

“Yes. That’s fine. But right now, let’s just forget about all of that because I’m just so relieved you’re alive.”, he said, carefully placing his hand on her face, making sure he didn’t touch her bruise and bringing his lips to hers. “I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I love you too.”, she said.

Once they got home, Hotch took Emily to the E.R. and got checked out. She got a prescription for the pain and an ice pack but nothing else seeing as how she had a couple cracked ribs like Hotch predicted but there was no treatment for it other than rest.

When they got home, Hotch helped her shower and change into her pajamas before getting into bed.

“Can I get you anything, hun? A hot tea or ice pack?”, he asked.

“Maybe just an ice pack.”, she said.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”, he said, kissing her forehead. 

He walked out to the freezer in the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack. As he started walking back to their bedroom, there was a knock on the door. He walked over to it, only to find Brayden on the other side when he opened the door. Before Hotch could even think or say anything, his fist made contact with Brayden’s face and knocked him to ground. 

“What the hell, man?”, Brayden said, standing up and dropping a gift he had in his hand. 

Hotch slammed him up against the wall and grabbed him by his shirt. “You fucking kissed my girlfriend! Really?! You’re asking me “ _what the hell man?_ ” No!”, Hotch yelled.

“Emily kissed me back.”, Brayden said.

Hotch swung at him again. “You don’t get to say her name anymore!”, Hotch said.

“Listen, Aaron.-“. Brayden pushed Hotch off of him. “I deserve that but I saw on the news what happened in Colorado. I was gonna leave tomorrow morning. I just wanted to bring this by for her.”, Brayden said, holding out a gift. 

Hotch grabbed it from him and threw it down the hall before kicking him, knocking him to the ground again. “You’re bringing her gifts now?!”, Hotch said with another kick.

“Aaron?”, Emily called out but he didn’t pay any attention to it.

Brayden stood up fast and slammed Hotch up against the wall and tried to take a swing at him but Hotch caught his arm. He twisted it behind his back and punched Brayden in the face again with his other hand. 

“Aaron! Stop!”, Emily yelled, walking out to them as Hotch swung at Brayden a couple more times. “Aaron!”, she said again, grabbing him and trying to pull him off of Brayden. 

“If you _ever_ touch my girlfriend again-“, Hotch said.

“Aaron, get off of him!”, she said, pulling him back.

“You son of a bitch!”, Hotch said.

“Aaron! Leave it!”, she said as Brayden straightened himself out.

“Em, I just came by to-“, he started before Hotch tried lunging at him but Emily held on. 

“Don’t call her that!”, Hotch said.

“I’m sorry.”, Brayden said, putting his hands up. “Emily, I’m really sorry.”

“Thanks but... I think you should go now...”, she said.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay and bring you the gift.”, Brayden said.

“She’s fine. I’ve got her. Now get the hell out of here!”, Hotch said. 

“Alright. I’m going.”, Brayden said, putting his hands up. “I’ll talk to you later.”, he said.

“Actually... I don’t- I don’t think that’s a good idea...”, Emily said.

Brayden nodded his head low. “Okay... I’m sorry... I really... wish nothing but the best for you... I’m always here if you ever need anything...”, he said, Hotch trying to go for him again after that. 

“Thank you, Brayden.”, she said.

He half nodded and they watched him walk away. Emily turned to Hotch and put a hand on his chest and the other on his face. 

“I’m sorry, Em.”, he said, grabbing her sides carefully.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Just come back in.”, she said, pulling him back inside and bent over to pick up the ice pack on the ground but winced in pain.

“Honey, don’t do that. I’ve got it.”, he said, helping her back up and picking it up himself, walking her back to bed. He tucked her in before climbing under the sheets beside her.

“I’m sorry I brought all of this into our lives.”, she said, sniffling.

“I know, sweetie but we talked it through when we got home. It’s done. He’s gone. Okay? Just don’t worry about it anymore.”, he said, kissing her forehead.

“I really don’t deserve you.”, she said.

“Listen, I’ve fucked up a lot of times before especially with _us_ and felt the same way, that I don’t deserve you. But I made a promise to you. I promised I’d love you and never leave you no matter what happens, that we could work through anything and I’m not going back on that so... we can work through this. Okay? But just rest right now.”, he said.

She nodded her head and reached for his hand while he used the other to put the ice pack on her face gently. 

“You know how much you scared me today?”, he asked.

“You’ve mentioned it. Now you know the feeling. You’ve done it to me a couple times.”, she said.

“I’m not letting you go, Em. Like I said... no matter what happens. I won’t let anything ever happen to you. I’ll give everything I have before I let something happen to you.”, he said.

“I know. Me too.”, she said, squeezing his hand tight. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I _do_ know, hun.”, he said.

“Don’t argue with me on that.”, she said.

“Let’s just sleep.”, he said.

“Please.”, she said.

He went to put the ice pack away in the freezer and got back in bed, falling fast asleep in each other’s arms. 

  
  



	65. Run-Ins At the Grocery Store

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 65**

  
  
  


**fair warning: lots of smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


A couple months later, Emily went to the doctor to get a checkup for her fractured ribs from Cyrus back at Liberty Ranch. Once she was all cleared to go back out in the field again, she drove straight to work. She almost ran inside but remained calm until she got to Hotch’s office and closed the door. She went for the blinds but they were already closed.

“Guess what I got?”, she said, holding up a piece of paper.

“You’re cleared to go back out in the field?!”, Hotch asked.

“Among many other things.”, she smirked.

He stood up and walked over to her, placing his hand on her ribs. “It doesn’t hurt?”, he asked.

“Nope. Not a bit.”, she smiled, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Mmm. You know, you can’t do that here right now.”, he said.

“Why not?”, she kissed him again and bit his lip.

“Because I’m already beginning to...”, he said, looking down.

“That was fast.”, she said.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a couple months.”, he laughed.

“Well you only have to wait a few more hours till we get home and I’ll make it worth it.”, she said.

“I like the sound of _that_ but you have to leave my office now because you’re only making it worse.”, he laughed. She grabbed the buckle on his belt and started to undo it. “Em! What the hell are you doing?!”, he asked.

“The door is locked.”, she said.

“You cannot do this here with everyone out there right now.”, he said.

“Aaron, you need this.”, she said, unzipping his pants.

“Jesus Christ, Em. Zip my pants back up.”, he said.

“Why don’t you do it yourself?”, she asked.

“Because I can’t control it right now. I want you so bad.”, he said.

“Well, you have me.”, she smirked, dropping to her knees as he leaned back against his desk. She tugged on his boxers and grabbed him in her hand, surprised to see how hard he was already. “You really _do_ want me bad right now, don’t you?”, she asked.

“Yes, so much.”, he said, impatient.

“How long have you wanted this? Me, going down on you, in your office.”, she said.

“I’ve wanted to bend you over my desk and fuck you actually.”, he laughed.

“Well I have no objections to that, Agent Hotchner.”, she smirked.

“Yeah, I can’t exactly do that though so just... I’m not gonna last long anyways and I can’t have anyone knocking on the door right now. So just-“, before he could finish his sentence, Emily took him in her mouth. “Oh fuck.”, he bit his fist.

Knowing they didn’t have a lot of time, Emily started out fast and never slowed down. She stroked him with one hand while her mouth moved back and forth at just the right pace for him. “Ah shit, Em. Ahhh fuck that feels so good. I’m sorry but I’m gonna come.”, he said, throwing his head back. 

She went faster and faster, making him clench his jaw to keep from screaming. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come I’m gonna come, Em. Oh my god. Ahhhhhhh.”, he moaned as she sucked every last drop he let out in her mouth. “You swallowed.”, he said out of breath. 

“Yeah. And?”, she said.

“No one’s ever done that.”, he said.

“You should know this by now, I’m _nothing_ like the others.”, she said, licking the rest off of him.

“You have no idea how bad I wanna fuck you right now.”, he said.

“Even after that?”, she asked.

“ _Especially_ after that.”, he said

“Well, you will _not_ be disappointed tonight then.”, she said, as he pulled his boxers back over his no long hard member and buckling his belt. 

“Stop talking like that. I can’t have a repeat of what just happened.”, he laughed.

“Hey.”, she said, standing up as he buttoned his suit.

“Hm?”, he asked.

“I love you.”, she said.

“Come here.”, he told her and she walked into his arms. “I love you too. I’m glad you’re okay now. And not just because I miss the sex.”, he chuckled. “Although I have missed that too. But I’ve missed you out in the field with me. I know how bored you get being on desk duty. You’re so stubborn.”, he said.

“But I’m cute.”, she said.

“That’s definitely true.”, he smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead. “So you up for a drive?”, he asked.

“To a crime scene?!”, she smiled.

“Okay, Honey, you can’t show excitement for going to a crime scene. Some people don’t understand why you are. It can come off as insensitive.”, he said.

“You know what I mean!”, she said, giggling.

“Yes, _I_ do.”, he said.

“Oh! I remember what I was going to ask you. I reminded myself on the way over here but forgot.”, she said.

“Okay...”, he said.

“What are we doing for Jack’s birthday?”, she asked.

“Well, Haley was thinking of getting one of those bounce house things and inviting over some of his friends from class and a few neighbor’s.”, he said.

“What about a cake?”, she asked.

“He said he wants Batman cupcakes.”, he laughed. “I don’t know what that really means but...”, he shrugged his shoulders.

“What if we got some of those edible decal things and it was a picture of Batman and put little ones on each cupcake?”, she asked.

“I don’t know how we would even do that. But I figured we could do Batman decorations at least and maybe blue and yellow and black frosting for the cupcakes. Something like that.”, he said.

“Well I’m good at baking if you want me to make them.”, she said.

“You’re too sweet.”, he said, giving her a quick kiss. “Alright, I’m switching back to boss mode now.”, he said, walking back to his desk.

“Wait!”, she said, walking over.

“What?”, he asked.

“One more hug.”, she smiled.

“I also missed being able to hug you tight.”, he said, giving her a big squeeze.

“Me too.”, she said.

“Okay, sweetie, you gotta go do some work now.”, he said.

“Fiiiine.”, she said, releasing him. “Oh wait, I thought you said we were going for a drive. Do we have a case?”

“Oh, right! God, someone distracted me a little.”, he laughed. “Yeah but you’re going with Derek instead of me. Regular partners paired up today. He’ll brief you on the way over and here’s a copy of the case file for you.”, he said, handing it over to her.

“Okay, I’ll see you there.”, she said, leaning over for a quick kiss before walking back to her desk. 

  
  


At the end of the day after everyone left work, Emily went up to Hotch’s office and sat down on the couch, waiting for him to finish his work.

“So, how was it being back officially?”, he asked her.

“It felt really nice being able to go out again.”, she said, setting her book down.

“Good. Oh, shoot!”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“I don’t think we have anything for dinner tonight.”, he said.

“Let’s just stop by the grocery store on the way home.”, she said.

“Alright, what do you want tonight?”, he asked.

“Something easy. Maybe grilled chicken?”, she said.

“Okay, that sounds good. Aaannnd... done. Finally. Alright, let’s go, I’m starving.”, he said. 

They both grabbed their things and walked to his car, driving to the grocery store. Once they got there, they grabbed a shopping cart and walked around.

“Oh, Jack wanted some spaghetti o’s.”, she said, grabbing a can and putting it in the cart.

“We’re out already?”, he asked.

“He’s eating more now. He’s a growing boy. Maybe he’ll even turn out to be as tall as you.”, she said.

“I can’t even imagine that. It’s so weird to think about. I feel like he’s growing up so fast already. He’s almost 3! How did that happen so fast?”, he said.

“I don’t know but you guys are doing an amazing job in raising him.”, she said, rubbing his back.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you being able to be in his life?”, he said.

“I love him. He’s the sweetest thing ever. I’m glad I get to be.”, she said.

“Haley has also mentioned the same thing many times.”, he said.

“Really?”, she smiled.

“Yeah and she’s really appreciative of how helpful you are with him. _And_ how you guys are friends. I mean I know that _I_ never would have imagined that happening. She’s really glad that if anyone had to be in Jack’s life in the way you are, that it’s you. I think you guys being friends helps us getting along too. I’m just really happy everything is going very smoothly right now.”, he said.

“I feel really lucky to be involved in all of this, to have you in my life, to have them in my life.”, she said.

“Me too.”, he smiled, looking over at her and giving her a kiss.

“Oh, I need to get some tampons.”, she said.

“Wait, did you get your period today?”, he asked.

“No but I should be in a few days and I’m all out.”, she said.

“Oh okay.”, he said, heading towards the aisle for them.

“Don’t worry, we’re still on for tonight.”, she said.

“Don’t bring it up while we’re out. I’ve been staying calm all day.”, he chuckled.

“Okay, okay.”, she laughed and kissed his cheek. 

“Could you go grab the chicken and anything else you want for a side tonight? Broccoli, potatoes, whatever.”, he said.

“Sure. Oh and I get the-“, she started.

“Blue box, I know.”, he said.

“Thanks, Honey.”, she said, giving him a quick kiss and walked off to grab the chicken.

Hotch walked up to the aisle for hygiene products and strolled down until he got to the tampons. As he reached for a box and grabbed it, he heard a familiar voice. 

“Agent Hotchner.”

He turned around, forgetting for a second what he was holding. “Chief Strauss.”, he said, shocked. He noticed a confused look on her face as she briefly glanced down at what he was holding. He looked down and quickly threw it in his shopping cart.

“A bit late to be grocery shopping, isn’t it?”, Strauss asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”, he laughed, trying to think of another time he ever felt more uncomfortable, just extremely awkward.

“Good point. I take it you got off work late tonight?”, she asked, looking at him still in his work clothes.

Right then, Emily started walking up to the aisle where he was at until she also heard a familiar voice. When she heard Hotch speaking with Strauss, she almost dropped the food in her hands and walked to the other end of the store.

“I just wanted to get some extra reports finished so they’re done for tomorrow. I came here straight from work, had no food for dinner tonight and I have Jack this weekend and he really wanted some Spaghetti O’s.”, he laughed.

“How is he? And Haley?”, she asked.

“They’re good, they’re good, yeah.”, he nodded his head. After a long pause, of having anything else to say she decided to end their brief awkward exchange.

“Good... Well... nice running into you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”, she said.

“Of course, have a great night.”, he said as they both walked away in opposite directions. He went all the way down the aisle until he spotted Emily across the store and strolled over to her.

“Oh my god. You will never believe who I ran into just now.”, he said.

“Ooo! Can I guess? I love this game!”, she said.

“Fine.”, he said.

“Mmmmm...”, she pretended to think real hard. “Chief Strauss.”, she said.

“How did you know that?!”, he asked.

“Because dummy!”, she playfully smacked his arm. “I heard her voice when I was walking back to you.”, she giggled.

“Oh my god, Em. It was so awkward.”, he said. But she continued to laugh. “No, it really was. I had a box of tampons in my hand when I turned around to her and she looked at them and back up at me, I-“, he covered his face.

“Seriously?!”, she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Yes!... oh no... now she knows there’s someone in my life.”, he said.

“Oh, it’s fine! I doubt she wants to know about it. I really don’t think she’s gonna ask you about it later.”, she said. “Relax, hun.”, she rubbed his back.

“No. You gotta go get in the car.”, he said, panicked.

“Will it make you feel better?”, she laughed.

“Yes. I’d rather not take the risk of her running into us _together_.”, he said.

“Okay. Give me the keys.”, she said and he handed them over. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked out to the car. 

Emily sat in the car waiting for Hotch and almost pulled out her phone to call JJ because she was bored. But then she realized how late it was and Hotch was back already. He loaded the groceries in the car and got in.

“So... run into her at all again?”, she asked

“No, thank god.”, he sighed.

“Stop stressing! She didn’t see us. We’re okay. Let’s just go home and eat.”, she said. He nodded and started the car. 

When they got home, they put all the groceries away and started dinner. As Hotch was cooking, Emily got changed out of her work clothes into pajamas. She went in the kitchen and came up from behind him, wrapping her arms around his stomach. 

“It smells really good.”, she said.

“Here, try the potatoes. Do you wanna cook them more?”, he asked, reaching behind him and feeding her a piece of the chopped roasted garlic potatoes.

“Mmmm. No, those are perfect.”, she said.

“Then I guess dinner’s almost ready. Can you grab us some plates, hun?”, he asked but she stayed holding onto him. “Em?”

“But I love this right here.”, she said, squeezing him tight.

“I know, me too but... I’m really hungry...”, he said.

“ _Fine_.”, she said, releasing him and grabbing two plates. 

“Hey.”, he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her close, giving her a kiss. “I love you.”, he smiled.

“Mmmhmm suuuureee.”, she said.

“I see how it is. Alright.”, he said, eyeing her with a small smile on her face. 

After they finished dinner, they cleaned the dishes and sat on the couch to watch tv.

“The Twilight Zone is on!”, she said.

“No way. It’s not even Saturday.”, he said.

“Well, it’s on!”, she said, setting the remote down and cuddled up to next to him. He put his arm around her and pulled her in closer, kissing the top of her head.

After a couple of episodes, Hotch looked over at Emily still curled up by his side. He stroked her hair and placed another kiss on her head. 

“Sweetie, are you tired? We can go to bed.”, he said.

“No. I’m still awake.”, she said.

“Okay. I just thought you might be tired.”, he said.

“No. Are _you?_ ”, she asked.

“A little but not a lot.”, he said.

“Did _you_ wanna go to bed?”, she asked.

“No. Besides... _I love this right here._ ”, he said, mocking her from what she said earlier.

“I say it cuter.”, she said.

“That’s true.”, he smiled, kissing her cheek, moving over to behind her ear and down to her neck. 

“Mmmm. I’m definitely not tired now.”, she said, turning her head and grabbing his face. She brought his lips to hers and leaned down on her back while he climbed on top of her. Sitting up on his knees, he pulled his shirt off and she ran her hands all the way up his abs to his chest until she pulled him down by his neck. 

“I’ve been waiting all day for this.”, he said.

“You’re not the only one.”, she said, kissing him again. She lifted her back up and took her shirt off, lying back down. 

He started grinding on her as their tongues danced around with each other and she could feel him hard through his sweats. She reached for them and slid them down with his underwear as he kicked them off. He slid her shorts and underwear down at the same time as well and dropped them off the couch.

Before he could, she grabbed his length and stroked it a few times, making them both moan. She lined him up with her entrance and guided him in slowly.

“Ohhhh... _Em_.”, he moaned.

“Ahhhh.”, she breathed.

Once he was all the way in, he stopped and looked in her eyes. “You’re so beautiful, hun.”, he said, stroking her cheek.

“I love you so much.”, she said.

“I’ve missed this.”, he said.

“Sex?”, she asked.

“Making love to you. Not just the physical act of sex but showing you how much I love you when we do.”, he said.

“I’ve missed it too.”, she said, pulling him in for a kiss.

He slowly started moving in and out of her trying to figure out a way to not lose it so soon. He brought his lips down to her neck and buried his face in it, wrapping his fingers around in her curls. He began sucking on her neck and used his free hand grab ahold of her breast and squeezed it tight, massaging it. 

“Ohhh, Aaron.”, she moaned.

“ _Emily_... I love you so much, sweetheart.”, he groaned.

“I love you too.”, she said.

“Ahhh god, you feel so fucking good.”, he grunted.

“Ahh yesss.”, she moaned. 

He started sucking on her neck more until he could tell he was going to leave a mark but it was low down enough that she could cover it up. She ran her hand up the back of his head and through his hair, grabbing on tight. He could feel himself getting close and felt bad he couldn’t last longer for her. 

“Em... I’m gonna come. I’m sorry I- oh fuck ahh mmm.”, he said, trying to hold back. He brought his hand down to her clit and started moving his fingers around her.

“Yesss, Aaron, yess. Oh right there, right there, right there. Fuck, oh my god, I’m gonna come. Aaron, I’m gonna come, please. Come with me, honey.”, she moaned.

“I’m co- ahhhh fuuuuck. Oh my god, arghh yesss. Mmmm, fuck, Em. Oh come for me, babe. Please come for me. I wanna make you feel good. Ahh fuck.”, he said, still moving in and out of her at a reasonable pace, riding out his high and helping her reach her own. 

“Aaron, I’m so close. Oh god, don’t stop.”, she breathed.

“Come on, sweetie, come for me.”, he said, moving his fingers faster.

“Yes! Oh my god! Fuck, oh shit! Oh yessss!”, she screamed, releasing everything all over him.

“Mmmm.”, he kissed her. “Worth the wait?”, he chuckled before pulling out.

“I don’t know. If anything, it just makes me wish I didn’t have to wait even more. Remembering what I was missing out on. But I think we don’t have to worry about that happening again for a while.”, she said, bringing him to her lips again. “I missed that. You always make me feel better.”

“Em, I’m sorry I finished so soon. The past few times it’s just... been a while since each time.”, he said.

“It’s okay, sweetie.”, she smiled, running her hands along his face. 

“I know but... I didn’t wanna finish first. I always try to get you to go first.”, he said.

“Well then, I guess you finally got a turn.”, she laughed. 

“But I also like feeling you come first.”, he smiled, kissing her and moving his lips over to behind her ear and whispered, “Feeling you _squeeze_ me, feeling you flutter around me, come all over me.”, he kissed her neck and inhaled deep, making her giggle.

“You’re getting me ready to go again and-“, she started until she felt him against her thigh. “Oh. Seems as though I’m not the only one.”, she said.

“I don’t know how.”, he said.

“That’s so soon after.”, she said.

“So you wanna go again?”, he smirked.

“Hot steamy shower?”, she raised an eyebrow and he nodded his head, leaning down for a kiss before getting up and both running to the shower.

They warmed up the water and got in. He backed her up to the wall of the shower and crashed his lips onto hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he picked her up with her _legs_ wrapped around his _waist_. 

“You feel okay? Your ribs are okay?”, he asked her.

“Yes, they’re fine.”, she said, rolling her eyes before bringing her lips back to his. 

“I’m just checking on you, hun.”, he said.

“I know, I appreciate it and I love you so could you please just... come on.”, she said, as he kissed her again.

He ran his head along her opening and slid in quite easily seeing as she wasn’t just wet from the shower. 

“There’s something quite different about it in a hot shower.”, he said.

“There’s something quite different about it with _you_.”, she said.

“That’s because you love me, silly.”, he said, kissing her nose and pressing his forehead to hers with a grin.

“Maybe just a little.”, she smiled.

“You love me when I do _this_ , don’t you?”, he said, keeping her in place against the wall, supporting her by holding her under her ass. He started moving his hips at a slow pace, picking it up after a few minutes. 

“Aaron, faster.”, she panted.

“Ahh, Emily.”, he moaned, going faster. He squeezed her ass tight. “Uh oh.”, he chuckled.

“What? What uh oh?”, she asked concerned.

“No v-necks for a little while, hun.”, he chuckled again.

“What? Why?”, she asked.

“I might’ve left a big mark on you.”, he said.

“Well you may as well leave another then.”, she laughed.

He went straight for her neck and sucked on it even more than before, making her whimper. “God, I love it when you do that.”, she breathed, tugging on his hair.

“What about this?”, he asked, pounding into her hard and grunting. 

“Oh god, yes. That too. Don’t stop doing that either.”, she moaned.

She leaned her head forward and started kissing along his neck and to his shoulder. She held on to his back tight, pressing him closer into her against her body. She continued placing kisses along his shoulder until she began to dig her teeth in, knowing it drove him crazy. At that, he started going harder and faster.

“Oh fuck, I’m so close.”, he sighed.

“Come for me, Aaron.”, she said.

“No. You’re going first this time, I want you- Ah Jesus- to go first this time.”, he groaned.

“Then fuck me harder, babe.”, she whispered.

“Shit, Em. Ah fuck.”, he said, keeping one hand under her and the other one pushed up against the wall to help balance.

“Shit, oh my god. Aaron please I’m gonna come. Yes, right there. Ohhhh fuuuck, right there! Yes! Yes! Yes!”, cried out tumbling over the edge, letting it take over her body.

“I’m right there, Em! Don’t stop what you’re doing, please, squeeze me tight! I wanna feel you squeeze me again.”, he grunted. “Yes, just like that. Just like that, hun. So fucking good, Em. You’re so fucking good. You feel so good. Oh my god. I’m gonna come. Ahhh shiiiiiit! Yes! Ah fuck!”, he said slamming into her when all of a sudden he pulled down the shower head by accident and it fell down and hit his head. “Ahhh fuck!”, he called out partially from the pain and partially from his climax, coming over and over in her. Once he was done, he brought his hand to his head and saw a little bit of blood.

“Honey, are you okay?”, Emily asked, touching his forehead. “Here, put me down.”, she said and he pulled out, setting her down on her feet. “Oh, Honey. You’re bleeding.”, she said, pushing him back to be under the water of the shower once she put the shower head back in the right position.

“It’s nothing, really. It’ll probably just leave a bruise.”, he said.

“Aaron, you’re bleeding.”, she furrowed her brows.

“Fine! Get me a Batman band aid.”, he laughed.

“No, you need something bigger.”, she said, helping him wash off. “Uh oh.”, she laughed, rinsing his back.

“What?”, he asked.

“Good thing you wear suits that cover your shoulder.”, she said.

“Why?”, he asked.

“I might’ve left a big mark on you too.”, she laughed, kissing his shoulder right next to the bite mark she’d left. 

“It was hot and no one will see it. It’s okay.”, he said.

“Good because I have no idea how long it’ll be there for.”, she giggled.

They got out of the shower and he wrapped a towel around his waist and closed the lid of the toilet, sitting down on it while Emily grabbed a pad of gauze and taped it on his forehead.

“There. All better.”, she said and kissed his forehead next to the gauze before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. 

“Thanks, hun. But I could’ve done it myself.”, he said.

“I take care of you just like you take care of me.”, she said, walking out to the living room and grabbed their clothes, changing back into them. 

“Okay, well, I’m exhausted now. You really wear me out.”, he chuckled, getting into bed with her.

“I’m sorry but this just came back in my head. Strauss really saw you grabbing a box of tampons?”, she laughed.

“Yes, unfortunately. But at least it wasn’t a box of condoms. I would’ve died right there if it was.”, he said, smiling at her laughing uncontrollably.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sweetie.”, she continued to laugh.

“You’re so cute.”, he chuckled, scooting over and tickling her, making her squeal.

“Aaron! Stop!”, she giggled. She grabbed a pillow and whacked him with it only for him to whack _her_ right back. He rolled on top of her and smiled down, looking deep into her eyes.

“You, Emily Prentiss, are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”, he said, leaning down for a kiss.

“And you, Aaron Hotchner, are the sexiest man _I’ve_ ever seen.”, she giggled before he leaned down again, for another kiss.

“I love you, Emily Prentiss.”, he said, no longer joking around.

She ran her hands along his face and smiled. “I love you too, Aaron Hotchner.”, she said, this time pulling _him_ down for a kiss before he rolled off and curled up behind her, holding her close as they fell asleep.

The next morning, Emily hopped out of bed when she smelled bacon cooking from the kitchen. She ran out and almost knocked over Hotch with the impact of her body coming straight towards him with her arms open.

“Uhh! Em, I told you, save that for when you’re chasing down an unsub.”, he said.

“I’m sorry! I just smelled bacon and I got really excited!”, she said.

“I made it just for you.”, he said.

“What are you talking about?! You always eat most of it and then try to sneak some off my plate. You _so_ did not make it for me.”, she said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”, he said.

“Mmhmm. Okay, sure. Do I even get a hug or a kiss good morning or are you too focused on your bacon?”, she said.

He set the pan down on the stove and turned around to her, grabbing her gently by the waist and her face and brought his lips to her softly. “Good morning beautiful.”, he smiled.

“That’s better.”, she bit her lip and smiled, stretching her arms out over his shoulders. “One more.”, she said. He smiled even bigger and brought his face closer to hers until they melted into each other.

“Mmmm. Are you ready for breakfast? I promise I’ll save two pieces of bacon just for you.”, he said, nuzzling his nose against hers. 

“Yes.”, she said, grabbing a plate and sitting down at the table with him to eat. “What are you gonna tell the team when they ask what happened to your forehead?”, she asked.

“Book fell on me.”, he said, stuffing his mouth with eggs and bacon.

“Very convincing.”, she said sarcastically.

“What else am I supposed to say? Yeah, the shower head fell on me while I was having sex with Emily last night? No!”, he laughed.

“Well obviously not _that_ but something better than a book fell on you.”, she said.

“I’ll think of something. I’m quick on my feet.”, he said. 

“If you say so.”, she said.

Later, when they got to work, Emily went to JJ’s office before the work day officially started. 

“Hey.”, Emily said, sitting down in a chair at her desk.

“Hey.”, JJ smiled and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her stomach.

“Getting closer, huh?”, Emily said.

“Less than two more months and I’ll be a mom. I’m totally not scared at all.”, JJ laughed nervously.

“Jayje, you’re already a mom. The only difference will be that you’ll have to change diapers.”, Emily laughed.

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m just nervous.”, she said.

“You’ll do great. You have Will who’s... willing to stay at home.”, Emily looked down.

“Emily, I’m sorry... Listen Hotch is just a lot busier than Will. Will isn’t like a typical guy. Most men wouldn’t be able to do what he is, quitting his job or taking time off to be a stay at home dad. Not all guys are willing to do that...”, JJ said.

“Aaron was...”, Emily said.

“What?”, JJ asked

“Aaron told me when we were talking about our options before... I said he wouldn’t really want to quit his job to do that and he said maybe, maybe he would and then went on about how he could and tried to convince me that he would.”, Emily said.

“I’m really sorry, Em.”, JJ said.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Um, anyways, speaking of him, last night... things were a little wild in the shower and the shower head came down and hit his head. So try not to laugh at the bandage on his head.”, Emily said.

“Gotcha.”, JJ laughed, trying to hold it back.

“You can laugh about it right now. I felt bad in the moment but afterwards, I couldn’t help myself. Oh my god! Guess what else happened last night?”, Emily said. 

“If it’s about your sex life, I think I’m fine not knowing the rest.”, JJ said.

“No, no. Not that. We ran into Strauss while grocery shopping last night! Well... he did. Thank god, I wasn’t with him in that moment although I still feel bad for him. He was grabbing a box of tampons for me and when he turned around, holding it, Strauss said _hello_ and looked at it. So now, she knows that Aaron has a girlfriend and one that’s serious enough to buy tampons for.”, Emily said.

“Are you serious? That’s hilarious!”, JJ laughed. 

“One hundred percent.”, Emily said right as there was a knock on the door and JJ said to come in. Hotch opened the door slightly and looked at JJ, not seeing Emily. 

“Hey, I need to talk to you about Emily. It’s about-“, he started but Emily cut him off by leaning forward to catch his eye.

“Hi, sweetie.”, Emily laughed.

“Em!”, he said, looking all around him before stepping into JJ’s office and closing the door behind him. “Hey, hun.”, he said leaning over to give her a kiss.

“What’d you need to ask her about me?”, Emily said.

“It was nothing.”, he lied. “Emily, can you start doing some work?”, he asked.

“It’s not even 9:00 yet. No one else is here...”, she said.

“Em.”, he said.

“Oh. Got it. You’re gonna talk about me. Better be good things.”, she laughed before walking out the door.

“Okay, so. Next week is our 1 year anniversary and I wanna do something special but I haven’t celebrated a 1 year anniversary many times and it’s been a while and I was a lot younger and you’re her best friend so I was hoping you could maybe help me figure out something to do.”, he said.

“Really?! I love this kind of stuff! Have you gotten her any gift yet?”, she asked. 

“Yeah, I got a pair of black pearl earrings, since diamonds are a bit common that people get and I felt like black pearls are more unique just like her. Does that sound cheesy to say?”, he asked.

“A little but I think she’d love it if you _did_ say that.”, she said.

“I brought them with me to show you.”, he said, reaching in his suit jacket and pulled out a case and opened it for her.

“Aaron. These are beautiful. She’s gonna love them. You did good.”, she said.

“You think so?”, he asked.

“Definitely.”, she smiled. “Can I just say how lucky she is to have you... you really make her so happy. I mean... I’m sorry I have no words... I forgot them... pregnancy brain.”, she laughed.

“That’s alright, I get gist of it.”, he chuckled. “She makes _me_ happy. My life is so different with her in it. I just want to spend every minute of it with her. It’s like living with her isn’t enough.”, he laughed. “JJ are you alright?”, he asked.

“I’m sorry. It’s the hormones.”, she said, sniffling and wiping a tear away. “That was just really sweet.”

“Yeah, I remember that with Haley in the last couple months. Just all over the place.”, he said, reaching for some tissues from his pocket in the mini travel size pack he carried on him and handed her a couple.

“Thank you. Wow, she didn’t lie. You really do carry those on you all the time.”, she said.

“It’s practical! She makes fun of me for it but they come in handy.”, he said.

“Well, thank you. And... the earrings are perfect. She’s going to love them. When is it?”, she asked.

“Next Saturday.”, he said.

“What did you have planned?”, she asked.

“Nice dinner, give her the gift, um... other stuff you don’t necessarily want to hear about but I want to make it extra special.”, he said.

“That sounds good.”, she said.

“Oh. Looks like it’s almost 9:00 now. I’m gonna get back to work and let you do the same. I’m sorry if I interrupted any progress you were making on that.”, he said.

“No, you didn’t and I love hearing this stuff anyways.”, she said.

“Well, thank you.”, he said.

“Anytime.”, she smiled and he walked out the door. 

He went back to his office and started working. He glanced out the window, looking down at Emily, realizing just how lucky he felt to have her in his life.

  
  
  
  



	66. Meet the Parent

  
  
  


**Chapter 66**

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


The next morning, Emily woke up before Hotch, trying to fall back asleep for another 30 minutes but couldn’t. She quietly got out of bed and went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Right as she put it on, Hotch walked out, rubbing his eyes and yawned.

“What are you doing up?”, he asked.

“Couldn’t fall back asleep.”, she said as he grabbed her sides and placed a kiss on her cheek before walking over to the pot of coffee.

“Oh, you already started some.”, he said.

“I’m sorry if I woke you.”, she said.

“Mmmm it’s okay.”, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her, resting his head over her shoulder.

“You should go back to sleep.”, she said, reaching back and scratching his head.

“No, I’d barely get any sleep anyways. Besides, I’m perfectly comfortable right here.”, he said. Right after he said that, Emily’s phone rang from the bedroom.

“Unfortunately, I have to break away for a second to go grab that.”, she said, walking to their room and picking up her phone, coming back out to him. “Huh.”, she said.

“Who is it?”, he asked.

“It’s my mother.”, she said, confused but answering it. “Mom. Hey.”

“Emily! I’m glad you answered. I didn’t know if it was too early for you or not.”, Elizabeth said.

“No, I’m up. What’s going on? Is everything alright?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, everything is perfect. In fact, I’ll be in town this week for work and wondered if you wanted to grab some dinner. Maybe tomorrow night?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Um... I don’t think I have anything going on tomorrow night. Tomorrow’s Thursday so... yeah, I’m free, I can ask to get off a little early from work.”, she looked at Hotch and he nodded.

“Great. Oh- I’m sorry, can I call you back in a few minutes?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Sure.”, Emily said.

“Alright, give me five minutes.”, Elizabeth said.

“Okay.”, Emily said, hanging up.

“You have your mom in your phone as _Elizabeth?_ ”, Hotch laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t really know why... it just feels weird to have it set as _Mom_.”, she said.

“Well, what’d she want?”, he asked.

“I guess she’ll be in town this week and wants to take me out to dinner tomorrow night.”, she said.

“She’s coming to town?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I guess so. Why?”, she said.

“I haven’t seen her in forever. Is she stopping by the BAU?”, he asked.

“I don’t think so.”, she said.

“You know... you’ve met my family and a friend of mine who’s like family... but I haven’t met yours...”, he said, obviously hinting at something.

“Well, I don’t have much family to meet I guess. You’ve met my mother though. You _worked_ for her.”, she said.

“I haven’t met her as your boyfriend yet though...”, he said.

“Oh, no, no, no. You don’t wanna go there.”, she said.

“Em, we’ve been in a relationship for almost a year, we’re living together, you met my family. Why can’t we get together with your mother?”, he asked.

“You know my mother... you know what she’s like... why would you wanna do that?”, she asked.

“ _Because_ ... I think it’s important to be connected with family you _can_ be and I just would really like to officially meet her now that she isn’t my boss.”, he said.

“Yeah, I get that but... I have no idea how she’d react if I told her you’re my boyfriend. That my boss is my boyfriend.”, she said. 

“Come on, Em.”, he said.

“You know how judgmental she is. She’s very opinionated especially when it comes to me.”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“This is really important to you, isn’t it?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said.

She stared at him for a minute and sighed. “Alright, fine.”, she said before her phone rang again and she picked it up. “Hey.”

“Sorry about that, I had to take care of something but I wanted to check in. And I already made a reservation for dinner tomorrow.”, Elizabeth said.

“Listen, I have something I want to ask you.”, Emily said, looking at Hotch.

“Alright.”, Elizabeth said.

Emily paused for a minute, thinking of how to ask if Hotch can come to dinner but panicked. “What restaurant did you choose?”, she asked, watching Hotch give her a confused look.

“That Italian place you’ve mentioned before.”, Elizabeth said.

“Okay. Yeah, that uh- sounds good... um... also...”, Emily bit her lip. “Do you need a ride from the airport?”, she asked and Hotch nudged her, moving his hands around to let her know to get the point.

“I have a car that’ll be picking me up, as always, but thank you.”, Elizabeth said while Emily looked over at Hotch who was waiting impatiently for her to bring him up.

“Um... there was one more thing I wanted to talk about...”, Emily said.

“Go ahead.”, Elizabeth said.

“Do you remember Agent Hotchner? He did-“, Emily started.

“Security clearances for my staff. Right, that was years ago. How is he? He’s your unit chief now, right?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Yeah, he is. He’s good... I um- I was wondering if he could maybe join us for dinner tomorrow night.”, Emily said, both her and Hotch smacking their heads in disbelief of how she was introducing the topic. 

“Oh, well, it wasn’t going to be a work dinner. It’s my _personal_ time. I use it for people in my _personal_ life.”, Elizabeth said.

“I know...”, Emily said.

“Okay, so why would we be inviting your boss?”, Elizabeth asked, confused.

“Um...”, she looked over at Hotch and he nodded his head, encouraging her to keep going. “Because he’s not _just_ my boss...?”, Emily said.

“I’m not following.”, Elizabeth said.

“Um... he’s also... my boyfriend...”, Emily said.

“I’m sorry?”, Elizabeth said.

“You know what? Never mind , uh- tomorrow night sounds good.”, Emily said.

“Emily... you’re involved with your boss?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Well... kind of, yeah...”, Emily said.

“ _Kind of?_ ”, Elizabeth said.

“Alright... not _kind of._.. he’s my boyfriend and... we’ve been together for almost a year and we live together and-“, Emily said before her mother cut her off.

“You live with your _boss?_ ”, Elizabeth asked.

“Yes...?”, Emily said.

“Honey, why would you get involved in that?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Uh... I don’t know... it just happened?”, Emily said.

“ _It just happened?_ ”, Elizabeth repeated.

Emily looked over at Hotch, nervous and he stepped over to her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head over her shoulder and kissing it.

“Alright... _listen_... we don’t have to invite him if you’re not comfortable with that. But I love him and he wants to meet you as my boyfriend and not as someone who used to work for you.”, Emily said and Hotch gave her a kiss on the cheek right after.

“I’ll change the reservation to 3 people.”, Elizabeth said.

“Wait, really?”, Emily asked.

“Sure, if that’s what you’d like then... I can’t wait to see you... both.”, Elizabeth said.

“O- okay. That sounds good.”, Emily said.

“I’ll see you there at 7:30 tomorrow night?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll let him know. Thank you.”, Emily said.

“Of course.”, Elizabeth said.

“Alright, bye.”, Emily hung up. 

“See how easy that was?”, he said.

“Babe, my hands are shaking.”, she said.

“It went well. Don’t stress.”, he said, holding her hands and stroking them. 

“Yeah, easy for you to say. She’s not _your_ mother. She really just asked me why I would get involved in that.”, she said.

“That’s where you say, because you love me.”, he said.

“Aaron, what if-“, she started.

“Shhh shh shh. It’s okay, sweetie. We’ll see her tomorrow night, okay? It’ll go alright.”, he kissed her neck. “I’m just glad you did that.”, he said.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that tomorrow.”, she said.

“Your mom seemed to like me back then. I don’t know why she wouldn’t now.”, he said.

“Because you’re my boss and you’re sleeping with me.”, she said.

“Okay, maybe if I was _just_ sleeping with you, she’d hate me but we live together... it’s obviously a lot more than just that, alright? She’ll be able to see the difference.”, he said.

“I need coffee.”, she sighed.

“How about I make you some food first so you have something to soak it up. You don’t need too much caffeine right now, your hands are still shaking a bit.”, he said.

“You’re bossy.”, she said.

“I’m just trying to take care of you, hun.”, he said, kissing her cheek and spinning her around to face him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”, she asked.

“For going out of your comfort zone so I can meet your mother... _as your boyfriend._ ”, he said.

“It seemed important to you and I guess it was going to happen eventually. So... may as well be now.”, she said.

“Well, thank you.”, he said, giving her a kiss. 

“You know I’d do anything for you.”, she said.

“I know and I would too. That’s why I pushed you to do this. You have to face it and your mother.”, he said.

“Okay, enough talk about her. Let’s just eat and get to work.”, she said.

At the end of the day at work, JJ came up to Hotch’s office and found him and Emily inside.

“Hey, JJ, what’s up? Why aren’t you out of here?”, Hotch asked. 

“Will has been driving me to work lately, said he doesn’t want me to go into labor while driving.”, she laughed. “But he got sick earlier and I was wondering if I could maybe get a ride home from you?”, she asked.

“Yeah, of course. I’m almost done here.”, he said.

“Great. Thank you so much.”, she said, walking over to sit on the couch with Emily. “ _You_ seem _stressed_. What’s goin’ on?”, JJ asked Emily.

“My mother is coming into town tomorrow.”, Emily said.

“Ohhhh.”, JJ said.

“And _Aaron_ here, thought it’d be a good idea for me to convince her to let me bring him to dinner. He really wants to meet her. I have no idea why.”, she said.

“Listen, Em... I told you, I think it’s important to meet your family for a lot of reasons but your mother also liked me back then. No reason for her not to now. Besides, mothers love me.”, he chuckled.

“Oh? And why is that?”, she asked.

“Because I’m charming, tall, handsome, smart, kind, loving, protective... I could go on.”, he said.

“Okay, suuuuure. Maybe they just like looking at you. It _is_ a pretty face after all.”, she giggled.

“The only person I want looking at me is _you_. I don’t need your mom to find me attractive.”, he chuckled. “Just as long as she knows how much I love and care for you and I would give my life to protect you, then that’s all that matters I think.”, he said.

“Emily, he’s right. I think you’re stressing too much about this.”, JJ said.

“You wanna come and meet her too?”, Emily raised an eyebrow. 

“Based on that look, I’m gonna say _no_.”, JJ laughed.

“Alright, I’m done. You guys ready?”, he asked.

“Definitely.”, JJ said. Hotch walked over to her and helped her up. “Gentleman. Add that to the list.”, she said.

Emily sat still on the couch and looked up at him. “Em, come on.”, he said.

“Aren’t you gonna help me up? Since you _are_ such a gentleman after all.”, Emily said.

“Honey, JJ actually needed more help up than you do.”, he said, waiting for her but she sat in place. “Oh my god.”, he said, reaching his hand out for her, pulling her up.

“Aww. Thanks, sweetie. You didn’t have to do that.”, she smiled.

“Shut up.”, he laughed, giving her a kiss and putting his arm around her as they walked to their car. 

Once they arrived at JJ’s house, Hotch parked and rushed out of the car to get the door for her and help her out. “Thank you. Soon enough, I won’t be having this issue.”, she laughed.

“We’re always here for you JJ. Whatever you need. Day or night just call me. Emily’s a little harder to get out of bed most of the time.”, he chuckled.

“I thought you were the one that’s not a morning person.”, she laughed.

“Alright, we’re both a little grumpy in the morning before our coffee. I’m usually nicer to her than she is to me though.”, he said. “But don’t tell her I said that.”, he whispered.

“You know these windows aren’t sound proof, right?”, Emily said, rolling hers down.

“And it looks like I’m gonna be forced to sleep on the couch tonight just for saying that.”, he told JJ who laughed.

“Even if I’m mad at you, I still want cuddles... most of the time...”, Emily said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, JJ.”, he laughed, rolling his eyes at Emily. “Tell Will to feel better. Oh, and do you need a ride to work tomorrow?”, he asked.

“If it’s not too much of a bother. I think he’s got the flu or something.”, JJ said.

“Just tell me what time to be here.”, he said.

“Thank you. Have a goodnight and be nice to him Emily!”, JJ said as she walked up to the front door.

“What! I’m always nice to him.”, Emily said.

“Okay, hun. Sure, you are.”, he said, hopping in the front seat and driving home. 

Back at the apartment, Emily and Hotch got ready for bed. Emily was taking a while in the bathroom and Hotch had to brush his teeth and knocked on the door.

“Em, I gotta brush my teeth. What are you doing in there?”, he asked.

“Oh, sorry, honey. You can come in, it’s unlocked.”, she said. He opened the door and saw her coming out of the shower. 

“I thought you were gonna take a shower tomorrow morning.”, he said.

“I needed to shave my legs. I don’t think I’d have time for that at any point tomorrow before dinner. And I wanna wear a dress.”, she said.

“Well, finish getting ready for bed because I think you mentioned something about cuddles and I’m just about ready to hop in bed.”, he said.

“I already brushed my teeth and everything so let me just get some pj’s on.”, she said. 

While he brushed his teeth, she got changed and got in bed. “Oh I forgot to tell you...”, Hotch said, rinsing his mouth before setting his toothbrush down. “You get to meet Tom at Jack’s party on Sunday.”

“Haley’s Tom?”, Emily asked.

“Yep. I guess he and Jack are kinda buddies now.”, he said, getting under the covers and sighing as he laid down. “Oh my god, I’m getting old.”

“No, you just work really hard. You’re exhausted.”, she said.

“Whatever. I’ll be 50 in a few years. I feel like I’m getting old.”, he said.

“No. You’re not.”, she said, giving him a kiss. “Okay, so, I get to meet Tom. Do you like him?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I think he’s a really great guy. We have a couple mutual friends back from when I was a prosecutor because he’s a lawyer, which I’m sure Haley already told you. But yeah, he gets along with Jack really well and seems to care about Haley which is good. I think you’ll like him.”, he said.

“I’m excited. Especially for the jumping castle!”, she said.

“Okay but make sure you let the kids take turns in it too.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”, she smiled, giving him one last kiss before resting her head on his chest.

“You know what _I’m_ excited for?”, he asked.

“Hm?”, she asked.

“Seeing your mom tomorrow night.”, he said. 

“Yeah, let’s hope it stays that way. You may regret saying that afterward. I have no idea what she’s gonna say or how she will react.”, she said.

“Are you worried about the age difference? Are you worried she’ll see that as an issue?”, he asked.

“Aaron, you’re 7 years older than me. That’s not a whole lot.”, she said.

“True but like... I’m older than you, further in my career and your boss which I feel makes it seem like I’m a bit older than you than I really am. I don’t know... what if she thinks I’m taking advantage of you?”, he asked.

“She might at first but she just needs to get to know you I think. But she might also not think that! I don’t know. But _I_ know you’re not.”, she said.

“Your doubts and worries have spread to me. They’ve rubbed off on me now.”, he said.

“Honestly, I’m not as worried about her liking you as I am about her giving me shit for putting myself in this situation and getting involved in all of this.”, she said.

“Alright, you’re starting to over think again. I think we just need to sleep.”, he said.

“My eyes are already closed so shut up and let me try to fall asleep.”, she giggled.

“God, you are _so_ mean to me.”, he laughed.

“Only because I love you.”, she said.

“Goodnight, hun.”, he said.

“Goodnight.”, she said and hugged his side.

The next morning, they went to pickup JJ on their way to work. She got in the car and Emily handed her a breakfast sandwich. 

“We stopped to grab some coffee and pastries on the way over here. I knew you probably hadn’t eaten or had that much at least.”, Emily said.

“Thank you! This is my favorite one!”, JJ said.

They all got to work before everyone else, as usual. Throughout the day, Emily couldn’t stop thinking about her mom and what she was going to say to them that night. Hotch had sent everyone home early that night so he and Emily could give JJ a ride back home and quickly get changed before going out to dinner. 

Getting ready for dinner, Emily picked out a tight navy blue dress with short sleeves and wore black heels along with it. She walked into the bathroom to finish doing her makeup but Hotch was hogging the mirror, trying to pick out a tie.

“Babe, I need the mirror.”, she said, scooting him out of the way. 

“Oh, _I’m_ sorry. _Excuse me._ ”, he said sarcastically.

“Blue tie.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“Go with the blue tie. It matches my dress.”, she said.

“I thought you like the red on me most.”, he said.

“Yeah but blue is my second favorite. And it matches my outfit, like I said. Go with the blue.”, she repeated.

“Alright, alright. I’m kind of nervous...”, he said.

“Yeah, so am I.”, she said, finishing her mascara, setting it down and walking out into their room. She went up to him and did his tie for him. “You look very handsome.”, she smiled.

“You look very beautiful.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Let’s go.”, she said.

They drove to the restaurant and walked in. They noticed Elizabeth was already sitting at a table and they looked at each other and took a deep breath in. He kissed her forehead and put his arm around her back. They walked up to the table and Elizabeth stood up. 

“Emily!”, she said, giving her a big hug. “Look at you, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, mom. You look stunning, as usual.”, Emily let out a small seemingly happy laugh.

She turned to Hotch and put her hand out. “Agent Hotchner.” she said, shaking his hand.

“Ambassador Prentiss.”, he smiled. “Great to see you again and please, just _Aaron_ is fine.”, he said.

“Well, I suppose under these circumstances, _Elizabeth_ is just fine as well.”, she smiled.

“Alright.”, he nervously laughed as they sat down. Emily sat next to Hotch at a round table with Elizabeth facing them. He put his hand on her thigh and rubbed it, trying to calm her. 

“Long day at work?”, Elizabeth asked them both.

“Yeah, we woke up early to pick up our friend to give her a ride to work with us. She’s pregnant and very close to the due date and isn’t driving right now so we also gave her a ride home after work.”, Emily said.

“So I take it, she knows about you two?”, Elizabeth said.

“She kind of figured it out on her own. But yeah, she’s known for a while.”, Emily said.

“So how long has it been... going on again?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Next week is our 1 year anniversary actually.”, Hotch said.

“Oh good, you remembered. I was beginning to think maybe you forgot.”, Emily laughed.

“I could never forget.”, he said, staring deep in her eyes. He was about to give her a kiss but figured best not to do that in front of her mother just yet. 

“Wow. A year... Emily, you could have told me sooner...”, Elizabeth said.

“I- it’s just we barely speak and I haven’t seen you in a while and I didn’t know how to bring it up. I didn’t know how you’d react.”, Emily finally spoke the truth.

“What do you mean?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Well, he’s my boss... he worked for you, he’s a bit older... he has a kid... I just didn’t know how critical you’d be.”, Emily said, trying not to show any fear.

“You have a kid?”, Elizabeth asked Hotch.

“Uh...”, he looked over at Emily briefly. “I do, yes.”, he said.

“How old is...”, she waited for him to say his name.

“Jack. He’ll be 3 on Sunday.”, he said.

“Oh, wow. Well, 3 is a great age. They’re finally able to talk more but still have a sweet and innocent charm. Do you have a picture?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Quite a few.”, he said, pulling out his phone. “Here’s one of him with Emily at the park a little while ago. That’s one of my favorites.”, he showed Elizabeth the photo from across the table.

“Oh how sweet. What a cutie.”, Elizabeth smiled. “Look at that toothy grin.”, she laughed.

“Thank you.”, Hotch smiled, showing her another photo. 

“So, does he live with his mother or...?”, Elizabeth asked.

“He‘s with her during the week and then weekends with us.”, he said, putting his phone back in his pocket. 

“That’s nice. Oh, speaking of which, your father sends his love.”, Elizabeth told Emily.

“Oh, tell him I send my love right back. Maybe I’ll give him a call later, it’s been forever.”, she said.

“I’m sure he’d like that.”, Elizabeth said, picking up a menu. “I’m thinking a pasta dish tonight. What about you dear?”, she asked Emily.

“I’ll probably do one too. Sweetie?”, she looked at Hotch.

“I guess we’re all getting some.”, he said.

Their server came by and took their orders, bringing over a bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass. 

“I have to say, I am quite impressed with you.”, Elizabeth told Hotch.

“Oh?”, he said.

“Yeah. Seeing how far you’ve come in your career. I mean, Unit Chief for the BAU... yes, that is quite impressive. When you worked for me, I could tell how dedicated to your job you were and seeing what you’ve made of it... I’m _impressed_.”, she said.

“Thank you very much.”, he said.

“I’m just gonna run to the restroom real quick. I’ll be right back.”, Emily said, giving Hotch a kiss on the cheek before standing up. 

“Okay, hun.”, he said as she walked away.

“You seem to make her happy.”, Elizabeth said.

“I try. She makes _me_ happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”, he said.

“When I say this, I don’t mean it in a way of disapproving of your relationship. I think you seem wonderful together and I’m glad she’s in a good place and has someone like you. But... nobody else from work knows about you two. Doesn’t that make a lot of things difficult?”, she asked.

“Um... in ways, I guess. The main issue that I’ve found isn't being professional at work and separating our personal life from that. It’s more... when we’re out in the field. I worry about her getting hurt. I worry about _anyone_ on my team getting hurt but obviously it’s different with Emily. We had a case recently and she was injured pretty badly. She was being held in this church on a ranch with a bunch of other people and one of our other agents and... when I got there, I almost tried to run in after her multiple times. Hearing her get hurt over the wires we had brought in... it broke my heart. So, that can be a bit tricky. Also, about a year ago, I was shot and Emily was right there when it happened. I don’t remember much other than her crying and her trying to stop the bleeding. She was the first person I asked for when I woke up at the hospital, I was pretty out of it but she had gotten hit and I was worried about her. I guess our friend, the one who knows about us, could tell it was a bit strange that asking about her was the first thing I said when I woke up. So that was almost... bad. She was really scared. And on other occasions, I’ve found myself not wanting her to come with us because I’m also scared of what could happen to her. But I have to treat her just like any other agent.”, he said.

“That makes sense. If someone were to find out like _your_ boss, what would you do? It just seems kind of risky. What’s the limit for you? How much is worth all of this?”, she asked.

“I love Emily. We put our lives in each other’s hands everyday. I’d do anything to protect her and my son. She’s worth any risk for me.”, he said.

“You’d really give up this career you’ve worked so hard for to be with her?”, she asked.

“Absolutely. She means everything to me. And I’d rather have to find another job than leave her. I promised I’d never do that and I meant it.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“For what?”, he asked.

“For loving and protecting my daughter.”, she said.

“Like I said... she means everything to me.”, he said.

“For being together for about a year, you seem to be extremely committed. I mean, the way you talk about her... it’s like you’ve been together for years.”, she said.

“Emily... she’s just different. I can't explain it but I feel like we _have_ been with each other for a lot longer than we really have.”, he said.

“So what day is your anniversary?”, she asked.

“Next Saturday.”, he said.

“What do you have planned?”, she asked.

“I’m taking her out to a nice restaurant and I got her a pair of earrings.”, he said.

“Oh really?”, she said.

“Yeah, they’re black pearls.”, he said.

“Oh, she’ll love those.”, she said.

“Good. I was stressing over what to get. I didn’t know if it was too much of a cliché.”, he said.

“No. Not at all. She just has gotten a decent amount of diamond and gold jewelry over the years which is nice too but black pearls are definitely different. It’s a good choice.”, she said.

“I really appreciate you letting me join you tonight. I wanted to be able to get to know each other better and not as Ambassador and Agent. I want you to know how much I care about your daughter and how much she means to me. She was pretty nervous about tonight because she respects you and your approval so I hope I haven’t made a horrible impression so far.”, he chuckled.

“Quite the opposite.”, she smiled.

“Not trying to be a suck up here but... you really have raised her to be an amazing woman.”, he said.

“As much as I appreciate it, I didn’t do too much of it. With me and her father’s work, we were busy a lot. Emily’s always been very independent, very self-sufficient.”, she said.

“Some part of it came from you and was because of you though.”, he said.

“You are very flattering.”, she laughed.

“Hey, what’s so funny?”, Emily asked, coming out of nowhere and sitting down.

“Nothing.”, he said, looking over at her, gazing into her eyes with a soft smile on his face.

“What?”, she asked, blushing from him doing that in front of her mom.

“Nothing. You just look really beautiful tonight.”, he said, taking her hand in his on top of the table and leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek, making her blush even more.

After their food came and they finished eating, their server brought the check. Hotch took out his wallet and grabbed his card.

“Oh. No. Please. My treat.”, Elizabeth said.

“You’re the guest here. Let me.”, he said.

“I appreciate it but I took you guys out to dinner. I invited you. I’m paying.”, she said.

“Honey, don’t fight her on this. She always wins. You should know that from years ago.”, Emily said.

“It’s true.”, Elizabeth said.

“Alright, fine.”, he said, putting his wallet back. “But I’ll take us out next time.”, he said.

“Good luck on winning that one.”, Emily laughed.

“Where do you think she got her stubborn side from?”, Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and they all laughed.

Once everything was all paid for, they headed out. Elizabeth stopped in front of the restaurant outside and Hotch could tell she wanted a minute alone with Emily.

“I’m gonna go start the car but it was great to see you again. Thank you for dinner and if you want to get together again before you leave, just let us know.”, he said as Elizabeth went in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“You too. And if I have time, I’ll definitely let you know.”, she said.

“Great.”, he said. He gave Emily a quick kiss and said, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”, waving to them both as he walked to the car.

“So?”, Emily asked, taking in a deep breath.

“Are you asking for my opinion or my approval?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Both?”, Emily said.

“You don’t need my approval, honey. But I think he is really great. I did back then and I do now. Professionally _and_ personally. He really cares about you.”, Elizabeth said.

“I know. I really care about him too. He’s the most special thing in my life right now.”, Emily said.

“I love seeing you happy like this.”, Elizabeth said but Emily could tell she was holding something back.

“What? What is it?”, Emily asked.

“I think he’s great for you. I think he’s perfect, really. But... he said he’d quit his job for you if anyone higher up found out about you guys. I just- I’d hate to see this putting either of your careers in jeopardy. I know how hard both of you have worked to get to where you’re at. Or what if you got an offer somewhere else or a promotion or something... would you take it or would you stay where you are now? I would just hate to see this holding either of you back too.”, Elizabeth said.

“Not everything is about work. I get that you prioritize that and always have but that’s not necessarily my number one priority anymore. I can always get another job but I can’t replace him... or Jack, who I really do care for and who has grown really attached to me. Yes, I love my job right now. No, I don’t see myself taking any other one but not just because of him but because I like where I’m at with my life right now and don’t feel like changing any of it.”, Emily said.

“Alright, I’m sorry. I just wanted to check on that. But can I ask you one more thing?”, Elizabeth said.

“Okay.”, Emily said.

“Do you see yourself marrying him?”, Elizabeth asked.

“ _What?_ ”, Emily said, caught off guard.

“Do you _see yourself marrying him?_ ”, Elizabeth asked again.

“I- I uh- I don’t know... I don’t see myself with anybody else for the rest of my life and neither does he but marriage... I don’t know.”, Emily said.

“Well, he seems pretty serious about everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if he eventually wanted that.”, Elizabeth said.

“Mom, please. I don’t-“, Emily started and put her hand up. 

“Emily. Calm down. It was just a thought, it was just a question.”, Elizabeth said.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, his last marriage fell apart. I don’t know what would be different about us. Besides, it’s only been a year. I doubt he’s thinking about that.”, Emily said.

“Alright. Well, I’m happy for you. And I’m proud of you. I don’t know if I say that enough. “, Elizabeth said. They looked at each other and went in for a hug. 

“Thank you. I haven’t felt this happy for as long as I can remember.”, Emily said, pulling away. 

“I can tell. It’s a good look on you.”, Elizabeth smiled and a car pulled up for her. “Looks like my ride is here but I’ll call you and try to find another time before I leave to get together again.”

“Sounds good. I love you.”, Emily said.

“I love you too. Drive safe.”, Elizabeth said, getting in the car.

Emily walked back to Hotch’s car and got in.

“Hey, how’d it go?”, he asked.

She looked at him and grabbed his face, kissing him deep. “Thank you for giving me that push and for being good company. She really likes you.”, she said.

“I make good impressions. I told you, mom’s love me.”, he said.

“I hope she didn’t go too far when I went to the bathroom. Did she say anything... bad or I don’t know... rude?”, she asked.

“No. Not at all. We mainly talked about you and how much I adore you.”, he said in a cute voice and inching closer to her lips until they met.

“Okay, good.”, she said.

“But she liked me?”, he asked.

“She said she thinks you’re great for me and even used the word _perfect_. So, yes, I’d say she likes you a lot.”, she said. 

“Good. Now I can rest easy tonight.”, he laughed.

“Oh, yes, please. I’m so tired.”, she said.

“Let’s get you home.”, he said, giving her one last kiss before driving home.

  
  



	67. Cupcakes, Jumping Castles, and "I love you"

  
  
  
  


**Chapter 67**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Later that week on Sunday, Emily and Hotch woke up early to make Jack his favorite breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top.

“Where are the candles?”, Emily asked.

“They should be in the top drawer right there.”, Hotch pointed.

“And matches? Oh wait, never mind. They’re right next to the candles.”, she said, pulling them out. 

“Can you hand me his plate?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Oh, let me get my phone!”, she said, handing him Jack’s plate and rushing to their bedroom, bringing her phone out to the table. 

“Are his presents at the table?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah. Okay, can we go wake him now!”, Emily said, almost jumping with excitement. 

“Yeah, grab one of his gifts.”, he said.

Emily grabbed the smaller present and they walked into Jack’s room. She sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his arm to wake him up.

“Jack. Hey, buddy.”, Hotch said, crouched down. 

He slowly opened his eyes and yawned. He looked back and forth between them, confused at first as to what was going on, still being so sleepy. But once they started singing, Jack bounced right up in his bed.

“ _Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Jaaaack. Happy birthday to you!_ ”, Hotch and Emily sang.

“ _And many more on channel 4._ ”, Emily said.

“ _And all the rest on CBS._ ”, Hotch said.

“ _And Scooby Doo on channel 2_.”, Emily said, grabbing Jack and tickling him, making him squirm and giggle.

“Do I have presents?!”, Jack bounced Emily’s lap.

“No.”, Hotch said, watching Jack’s face droop.

“He’s kidding, sweetie. Look!”, Emily said, pulling a present out from behind her and glaring at Hotch. Jack grabbed it and looked at her. She nodded, letting him know to open it. He tore off the wrapping paper faster than Emily thought was even possible.

“Race cars!”, Jack shouted.

“Wanna play with them after breakfast?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah! Do I have more presents?”, he asked.

“Of course you do. There’s one more here and there will be more at your party later today at your mommy’s house.”, Emily said.

“But before you open that one out there, how about some pancakes?”, Hotch said.

Jack nodded and hopped off Emily’s lap, running out to the table, ready for his birthday breakfast. Hotch went to the kitchen and served two pancakes on Jack’s plate and put some whipped cream on top. Emily stuck 3 candles in them and lit each one, singing happy birthday again on their way over to Jack, setting them on the table in front of him. 

“Okay, buddy, make a wish.”, Hotch said.

Jack paused for a minute, thinking real hard before he blew out the candles and they all clapped.

“I thought you wanted to take a picture.”, Hotch said.

“We’ll get some later. This is just a really sweet moment here that we don’t need to get pictures of. They’re all up _here_.”, she said, pointing to her head. He smiled and kissed the side of it. They sat down next to Jack who was in his booster seat at the head of the table.

“Whoa, slow down there. You still got cupcakes and other treats later. You don’t wanna hurt your tummy.”, Hotch said to Jack. He looked up and had a whipped cream mustache on his face and they giggled. 

“Okay, now _this_ I have to get a picture of.”, Emily said, picking up her phone and snapping a picture of Jack smiling with the whipped cream on his face. “I’m gonna send it to Haley.”

“She’ll _love_ that. We are _so_ going to put that up in a slideshow at his wedding of pictures from over the years.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’d appreciate that.”, she said.

“What! It’s adorable. Let me see.”, he said, grabbing the phone. “I’m sending it to myself. It’s gonna be my new screensaver.”

“I wanted to set it as my Home Screen. That way, people wouldn’t be able to see it right away but would that still be too risky?”, she asked.

“I don’t think so. You have that picture of me in bed as my contact I.D. picture. I try not to call you if I know other people are around you in fear of that picture popping up on your phone.”, he laughed.

“I can change it. Here, smile.”, she said.

“Em, this isn’t much better. I still look like I just woke up.”, he said.

“You _did_ just wake up.”, she said.

“Exactly. Get one later.", he said.

“Daddy, can I open my other present?”, Jack asked.

“Go for it.”, he said, all of them walking over to it.

Once again, Jack tore apart the wrapping paper and started jumping up and down once he saw what it was.

“Can I play with it now?”, he asked.

“Only if we get to play too.”, Hotch said. Jack nodded and they helped him open his new race track for his toy cars. 

After a while of playing with his new toys and running around with Emily and Hotch, she picked him up and he stared at her before hugging her neck tight. She laughed and rubbed his back. 

“Can I stay here tonight?”, Jack asked.

“You’re supposed to stay at mommy’s till Friday.”, Hotch said.

“But I miss you.”, Jack pouted and looked at Emily for a different answer. 

“We miss you too when you’re not here but you’re supposed to stay at your mommy’s during the week.”, she said. Jack frowned and hugged Emily again, burying his face in her neck. She looked at Hotch and brought her eyes down to Jack, feeling sorry for him, looking back up at Hotch.

“You know what? I’ll talk to her and see if we can make an exception for your birthday.”, Hotch said. Jack’s head popped back up and he smiled big, nodding. “I’ll just have to come into work late tomorrow so I can drop him at preschool.”, he said, stressed.

“Why don’t I do it? You’re the boss, you can’t really be late. _But_ you can excuse _me_ being an hour or so late.”, she said. 

“You’d really do that?”, he asked.

“Yeah, of course. I’ve picked him up before. I know where it is. They know me there. It’s totally fine.”, she said.

“Alright, yeah. I’ll talk to Haley today and ask.”, he said.

“Does that make you happy?”, she asked Jack who hugged her again in response. “Hey wanna help us put the frosting on your cupcakes?”

“Yeah!”, he said, wiggling out of her arms and running to the kitchen. 

“You realize that people wanted to actually eat a cupcake right? He’s gonna cover them with frosting until there’s none left for any of the others at all.”, Hotch laughed.

“Shut up. It’s his birthday.”, she whispered.

They unwrapped the trays of cupcakes and took the bowls of homemade frosting out of the fridge. Hotch grabbed Jack’s stepping stool for him and placed one of the trays in front of him. 

“Alright, mister. You ready for the hard job?”, Emily asked, pretending to be serious. He nodded once with a big smile on his face, almost making her break character.

“Can I eat some?”, he asked.

“Not yet. Let’s wait till it’s _on_ the cupcakes.”, Hotch said.

“Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do. Help me scoop some of the yellow frosting into this bag.”, Emily said, holding one up.

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Because we are going to squeeze it out of this so it looks prettier instead of smearing it all over.”, she said.

With that, he picked up the bowl and helped scoop the frosting into the bag. He did it again with the other two and eventually got to the fun part of actually putting the frosting on the cupcakes. 

“Those actually look really good, Jack.”, Emily said, genuinely impressed for a 3 year old’s work.

“Thanks.”, he grinned. “Can I have one now?”

“Uh- ask your daddy.”, she said.

“Daddy?”, Jack said.

“Mmmm. I don’t know. You already had a sugary breakfast and there’s going to be a lot more later...”, Hotch said. Jack used his puppy dog eyes trick on him and he fell for it. “Fine. You can have _half!_ I’ll split one with you. Don’t tell your mommy.”, he whispered the last part.

Jack chose one with blue frosting and Hotch tried to cut it down the middle but gave Jack the bigger half that was left over. He took a bite and walked over to Emily. 

“You want a bite?”, he asked.

“I’ll take one.”, she said as he held it up to her mouth, feeding her a piece. “Mmmmm. We did a good job.”, she said.

“We did indeed.”, he said, eating the rest. “We should probably get ready now. Hey, go pick out what you wanna wear and get changed.”, Hotch told Jack who ran into his room to do that.

“Right...”, Emily said.

“You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I’m just... a little nervous.”, she said.

“About what?”, he asked.

“I know this is Jack’s day but I’m nervous to meet all these people. I mean we have a very different... we’re much different than most families and friends. I mean, your girlfriend is good friends with your ex wife and... I don’t know there’s other stuff. I feel like all the parents are going to hate me or think it’s weird I’m there. I don’t know.”, she said.

“Everyone will love you, besides, I’m not close with them. I only know a few of the kids' and parents' names.”, Hotch said.

“I know. I’m just being ridiculous. I shouldn’t be worrying. Today is about _Jack_.”, she said.

“Alright, let’s go get changed and head over.”, he said, wrapping his arm around her as they went into their bedroom and changed into jeans and a shirt along with their matching converse.

They came out and grabbed the cupcakes along with Jack’s bag just in case he wasn’t able to stay the night again. Jack helped carry a tray down to the car and they drove to Haley’s house. When they got there, they saw a sign on the door to come in so they walked in and straight to the kitchen where Haley was, setting up snacks.

“Hey! You’re here!”, Haley rushed over to Emily, helping her set a couple trays down and giving her a hug. “Where’d Jack go?”, she asked.

“I’m right here, mommy!”, he said, jumping up and down. 

“Happy birthday, sweetie!”, she said, picking him up and giving him a kiss. “I see you found the party hats, huh?”, she said, straightening one out on top of his head while he nodded.

“Can I stay with daddy tonight?”, Jack asked.

“Um, sure. I don’t see why not. Free night for me. I gotta clean up all this after the party anyways, so that’d actually be really helpful.”, she told Emily and Hotch. “Do you want me to pick him up tomorrow morning?”

“I said I could drop him at preschool if you want. You’ll need to get some rest and I’ll already be up at that time. It’s no problem, really.”, Emily said.

“You truly are the best. Thank you. I’m already exhausted and people haven’t even shown up yet.”, Haley said.

“Of course. It’s more time I get to spend with him.”, Emily said, tickling Jack. “Oh, where’s Tom?”

“Oh, right! You guys haven’t met!”, Haley said.

“No, I’ve heard so much about him but have yet to meet him.”, Emily raised her eyebrows in a suggestive way and nudged Haley, making her laugh. 

“Come on, I’ll introduce you.”, Haley said, leading them out to the backyard while Hotch put his hand on Emily’s back until Jack ran up to him. He picked him up and did the airplane thing Jack loved so much all the way outside. He hung him upside down over his shoulder with one hand making Jack giggle uncontrollably.

“Tom, come here. I’d like you to meet Emily, Aaron’s girlfriend _but_ also my friend.”, Haley said.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you.”, Tom said, reaching his hand out to shake hers.

“You too. I’ve honestly heard _a lot_ about you. Nice to finally put a name and other details to the face.”, she said, shaking his hand.

“I could say the same.”, he smiled.

“Well, I’m glad we’re all here. As weird as this grouping of friends and family would traditionally be... somehow we make it work. So thank you for all being here, especially for Jack.”, Haley said.

“I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re also glad to be here.”, Hotch said.

“Definitely.”, Emily said, walking over to Jack on Hotch’s shoulder still. “Aaron, let him go.”, she laughed.

“Who?”, he asked and winked at her.

“Ohhh. I thought I saw Jack on your arm but I don’t see him anymore. Where’d he go?”, she asked.

“I have no idea.”, he said.

“I’m right here, daddy!”, Jack said.

“Maybe he’s inside?”, Hotch said.

“Maybe...”, Emily said.

“Emily!”, Jack yelled. “I’m right here!”

“Did you hear something?”, Emily said.

“Yeah, it almost sounded like Jack.”, Hotch said.

“Daddy!”, Jack hit him.

“Wait... I hear it again.”, Emily said. “Haley, did you hear something?”

“Something very quiet... I couldn’t quite make out what it was though...”, Haley played along.

“Mommy!”, Jack laughed.

“I definitely heard something that time.”, Tom said.

Jack started tugging on Hotch’s shirt and giggling. Hotch closed his eyes and opened them back up, looking down at Jack’s face. 

“Jack! There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you, buddy!”, Hotch said.

“You found him! Where was he?!”, Emily said.

“Right here!”, Jack said, reaching for Emily to help him up.

“Getting tired of hanging upside down?”, she asked.

“Uh huh.”, he said.

“Alright, since your daddy’s so mean, I’ll help you off.”, she said, picking him up and right as she was about to set him down, he held on.

“Piggy back ride!”, Jack said.

“Why don’t you piggy back over here? I’m just blowing up the jumping castle. It’s almost ready. Wanna take a turn before everyone gets here?”, Tom asked.

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“Piggy back, it is.”, Emily said. Hotch walked over and helped him onto her back and they ran over to the jumping castle with Tom.

“Need any help setting up?”, Hotch asked Haley. 

“Yeah, sure.”, she said, both of them walking inside. 

“Jack helped us frost the cupcakes but he actually did a pretty good job.”, he said, showing them to her.

“He did those?”, she asked.

“Yeah, he’s got talent.”, he laughed.

“Let me guess... Emily taught him.”, she said with a smirk.

“Now what makes you say that?”, he asked, crossing his arms almost sounding offended.

“Because you’ve always been good at _cooking_ , not delicate work like that.”, she laughed. “Emily is though.”, she said.

“Well... whatever.”, he laughed.

“Hey, thanks for taking him tonight. I wasn’t going to ask but it’s gonna be a lot of cleaning up to do and any night that you want him or can take him, it’s totally fine with me. It’s nice to have a night off sometimes.”, she chuckled.

“Any chance I get to spend time with him, I love. And so does Emily.”, he said. 

“She’s so great with him. I mean, really. She’s been a big help like for tomorrow. She really didn’t have to do that but she seemed excited to.”, she said.

“She loves spending time with Jack. They adore each other.”, he said.

“I know. I’m really glad and if there’s a night you need off or anything...”, she said.

“Actually, could you maybe take him next Saturday? We’ll keep him till afternoon but could you maybe take him for the night?”, he asked.

“Yeah, sure. What’s going on then?”, she asked.

“Well... it’s actually me and Emily’s anniversary... We were planning on going out to dinner and maybe something else out and about. We don’t get much time to do anything _fun_ out and about. It’s always going to crime scenes. We don’t get to go for a nice walk downtown or to a park without Jack or anything unless we get called there for work because there’s a dead body. So it’d be nice to go out and do something that _isn’t_ crime related.”, he laughed.

“Oh. Yeah. That’s... that makes it hard to enjoy a lot of things, especially if you always associate them with all of that too. But yeah, that’s fine. I can do that. Did you get her anything yet?”, she asked.

“A pair of earrings.”, he said.

“You better do some flowers too, that woman deserves a lot of appreciation for everything she does.”, she said.

“I know. I just realized I don’t know her favorite kind...”, he said.

“I’ll find out.”, she said.

“Wait, you and Tom are coming up on a year as well, aren’t you?”, he asked.

“Yeah, next month.”, she said.

“Wow. Look at us.”, he said.

“I know, it’s a little weird, huh?”, she said.

“In a good way. I’m glad we’re all still friends. It’s nice.”, he said.

“Yeah, it really is.”, she smiled.

“Well, when is everyone supposed to be here?”, he asked.

“Umm... they should be coming in just a few minutes.”, she said.

“Let’s get it set up.”, he said.

Back outside, Tom had just finished getting the jumping castle inflated and Jack ran in immediately. Emily took a second to catch her breath after running around with Jack. 

“I’ll be right back. I'm gonna grab a water. Do you want one?”, she asked Tom.

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks.”, he said.

Emily walked in the kitchen and grabbed a couple drinks. “The jumping castle is all blown up now if you guys wanna do a little bouncing before the kids get here and hog it.”, Emily said.

“Em, you _do_ realize that it’s _for_ the kids, right?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah but adults can have fun too! I never got one for any of my birthdays.”, she said.

“Then bounce away.”, he laughed.

“Oh, _I will_.”, she said, walking back outside.

“Here ya go.”, she said, handing Tom a cup of water. 

“Thanks. Hey, I know we just met but we both know Haley pretty well... obviously... can I ask you something, hopefully without it being too weird?”, he said.

“Uhh sure...”, Emily said.

“How do you make it work with Jack? I mean... living with Aaron and having Jack live there part of the time. How is that? Or... I’m sorry I’m not wording this very well.”, he laughed nervously.

“I understand you perfectly. I think the more important thing is... why? What are you thinking?”, she asked.

“I want to live with Haley... one of us move in but... with Jack... it wouldn’t be a problem for me at all. But I know for her it’s a completely different story especially because he’s with her the majority of the time so I feel like that’d be a big ask and... I don’t know.”, he said.

“I think you should tell her how you feel without asking anything yet. See what she says. You might be surprised.”, she said.

“Yeah, you’re right.”, he nodded. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Now... where’s the birthday boy?”, she asked.

“I’m in here!”, Jack said.

“Ohhhh I’m coming to get you!”, she said running inside the jumping castle as Jack shrieked. “There’s nowhere to run!”, she grabbed him and flopped down on her back. He laid down on her stomach and chest and smiled big at her.

“I’m hungry.”, he said.

“Birthday boy is hungry. Oh gosh, what are we gonna do about that?”, she asked. “Should we go fly to the kitchen?”, she picked him up and straight above her, balancing him on her feet and hands.

“I’m like an airplane, right?”, Jack said.

“Yes, sir. Now, shall we go fly to the kitchen? Get some chips?”, she asked. 

“Yeah!”, he said.

She grabbed him with just her hands and pretended to fly him back to the kitchen. She set him down and he grabbed a few chips.

“Hey. Have fun bouncing around?”, Hotch chuckled, walking up to her, and planting a kiss on her lips. 

“So much.”, she smiled. “Where’s Haley?”

“Grabbing stuff to blow up balloons in the garage.”, he said.

“Ah. Care to join us back in the castle?”, she asked, dragging his hands as she walked backwards.

“Yes. Yes, I would.”, he said, following her and Jack back outside until he heard people walking in the front.

“Hello?”, came a voice. 

Hotch dragged Emily’s hands back inside and called over to Jack who ran up to his friend. “Vanessa, hey! How are you?”, Hotch said, giving the woman a hug. 

“Good! It’s been a while, how are you? We miss seeing you around the school.”, she said.

“I’ve been good, yeah. Busy with work obviously. Oh, um, this is my girlfriend, Emily. Emily, Vanessa. She’s Johnny’s mom.”, he said.

“Hi, nice to meet you.”, Vanessa said.

“You as well.”, Emily smiled. 

“Haley’s in the garage blowing up some balloons but we’ve got snacks and drinks set up over there and the jumping castle out in the backyard. Tom’s out there right now if the boys want to go jump.”, he said. “Jack why don’t you go show Johnny the jumping castle.” Jack nodded and they ran out together.

A few hours later, all the kids were tired out and ate some lunch and cupcakes soon after. They lit candles on a few outside and before he blew them out, Emily had Hotch and Haley squat next Jack and got a sweet picture of them together. After more playing, the kids started to go home and Jack started to crash. 

“Hey, buddy. You getting sleepy?”, Hotch asked, picking him up. 

“Mhmm.”, Jack said, resting his head on Hotch’s shoulder.

“Alright, we can go home.”, he said. “Haley, are you sure, you don’t want us to help clean up?”

“No, no. It’s fine, really. Emily, you already helped a lot. Thank you.”, she said, giving her a hug. “Oh yeah, someone’s sleepy. Go on, get out of here, I got this. Tom’s helping me too. Just get Jack to bed.”, she said, walking over to him and giving him a kiss. “Happy birthday, sweetie. I love you. Be good for daddy and Emily tonight, okay?”

“Okay...”, Jack said, closing his eyes.

“We’ll see you later, I’ll let you know when I’ve dropped him off at school tomorrow.”, Emily said.

“Great, thank you guys so much.”, Haley said.

“Of course. Get some rest.”, Hotch said.

They walked out to the car and put Jack in his car seat before getting in the front. Emily rested her hand on the console and Hotch reached over and held it in his.

“Thank you for everything today.”, he said.

“I had a lot of fun. And it was much easier meeting all those people than I thought.”, she said.

“I’m glad.”, he said, leaning over and giving her a kiss.

“Let’s go home. Jack isn’t the only one about to fall asleep.”, she said turning around to look at him. “Oh. I guess he already has.”

When they got back home, they walked inside and woke Jack up to change into his pajamas. Emily helped him into bed and Hotch gave him a kiss goodnight. Emily pulled up the covers for him and tucked him in tight. 

“Goodnight, birthday boy.”, she said, stroking his hair.

“Night. I love you.”, Jack said, closing his eyes.

Emily turned back to Hotch who had a huge smile on his face, matching Emily’s along with a bit of shock. That was the first time Jack had told her that and it made their heart melt. 

“I love you too, buddy.”, she said, planting a kiss on his head and standing up, turning out his light on their way out of his room. Once they closed the door, Emily put her hands over her mouth and tears formed in her eyes.

“Honey, are you okay?”, Hotch asked.

“I’m more than okay. He’s never said that before.”, she said, letting a couple tears out.

“I know.”, he smiled, pulling her in for a tight hug. 

“He told me he loves me.”, she sniffled.

“I know. It warms my heart.”, he said, kissing her head. 

“I don’t know why I’m crying.”, she laughed.

“Because that was a really sweet moment and it meant a lot. Don’t question it.”, he said, pulling back. “He’s not the only one.”

“I love you too.”, she said, going in for a kiss at the same time as him.

  
  



	68. Anniversary

  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 68**

  
  
  


**fair warning: lots of smut included in this chapter**

***this chapter is about their anniversary and if some details sound familiar from previous chapters, they are. they “re-do” some of their “firsts” that night. sweet anniversary fluff and smut stuff :)**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


The next week on Saturday morning, Emily woke up to Jack jumping on their bed and he climbed on top of her. She opened her eyes and Hotch wasn’t next to her, confusing her even more. Jack had a piece of paper in his hand and started shaking Emily.

“Emily! Wake up!”, he said.

“Jack, where’s your daddy?”, she asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

“I can’t tell you! It’s a secret!”, he smiled.

“Oh, okay. Well, can I ask what’s in your hand?”, she said.

“I drawed us!”, he said, handing Emily the paper.

“You _did?_ ”, she asked and he nodded.

“It has words!”, Jack said.

“Look at that! It does!”, she said. “ _Happy 1 year of being me and daddy’s friend_.”, she read out loud. “Awww, I love it. Thank you, sweetie.”, she said, holding out her arms which he jumped into.

“You like it?”, Jack asked.

“I _love_ it.”, she said.

“That’s me, you, daddy.”, he said, pointing to the barely recognizable people in his drawing. 

“It’s very pretty. I like that I have purple hair here.”, she giggled. “Let’s put it on the fridge later.”, she said.

“Cuddles?”, Jack asked, rolling off of Emily and onto Hotch’s side of the bed.

“Get over here.”, she said, grabbing him. “Where’s your daddy?”, she asked Jack again.

“Surprise!”, Jack said. 

After 20 minutes of cuddling and laughing, Hotch finally walked through the door. “Hello?”, Hotch called out.

“In here!”, Emily said.

Hotch walked into their bedroom to find her and Jack having cuddle time without him and he almost frowned for having missed out on it.

“Did I miss cuddles?”, he asked.

“There's some room for you right here.” She patted his side of the bed. 

“First...”, Hotch pulled out flowers from behind his back, looking at Emily. “And second...”, he said, pulling out a box of donuts and looking at Jack. He smiled at them both and walked over to Emily, handing her the flowers.

“You got me flowers?”, she asked, smiling big as he leaned in for a kiss and she smelled them.

“You didn’t think I wasn’t going to do anything for our anniversary, did you?”, he smiled. “Even Jack did.”

“Donuts!”, Jack bounced up and down.

“In a minute. Let’s cuddle first.”, Hotch said, setting the flowers and donuts down on the dresser, kicking his shoes off and jumping on the bed. 

“Jack sandwich!”, he said as he and Emily squished him in between them and tickled him.

“Daddy!”, Jack kicked around and curled up to Emily who protected him from being tickled more. They both laughed and leaned in for a quick kiss when Jack covered his eyes. “Ew!”, he laughed.

“You think kisses are gross?”, Emily asked, pulling him up and kissing him all over his cheeks and head, watching him giggle and squirm more.

“Alright, alright. Who’s up for some donuts?”, Hotch asked.

“Me!”, Jack said.

“Can you bring the box to the table?”, Hotch asked and Jack nodded. Hotch got up and grabbed it for him because the dresser was taller than Jack. He ran out and Hotch picked up the flowers, stepping towards Emily who met him halfway. “Happy anniversary, hun.”, he said, pulling her into him and tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Happy anniversary.”, she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and they leaned for a deep kiss.

“I know it hasn’t quite been a year with Jack yet but he really wanted to draw something and put his name on it... be a part of something. And of course I wrote the little note at the bottom for him.”, he chuckled.

“I loved it. In fact... we’re putting it up on the fridge.”, she said, grabbing the drawing. She put her hand on his face and stared deep in his eyes. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”, he said, placing another kiss on her lips. “Let’s put these in a vase and grab a donut before Jack tries to eat them all.”, he laughed.

“Hey, Jack, where do you want this on the fridge?”, she asked. He ran over and grabbed some magnets, helping Emily stick it to the fridge where he could reach.

“Alright, let’s eat so we can get you back to mommy’s. I told her we’d have you back before 12:00.”, Hotch said.

After they dropped off Jack at Haley’s they rushed home, knowing exactly what both of them wanted. They walked back inside at a regular pace and set their shoes and keys down regularly. But once they got in the bedroom and closed the door they jumped each other. They shed all of their clothes within seconds.

Hotch backed up Emily to the bed, kissing each other fiercely. She fell back on it, pulling him down with her. She pulled the sheets back and they got under and covered themselves most of the way. Hotch still on top of her, hovered over, kissing her neck and rubbing himself on her. 

“Ahh, Aaron... I need you inside me now. _Please_.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he nodded, slamming into her immediately. She gasped from the suddenness of his actions but it felt good. She dug her fingers down his back, leaving a few scratch marks.

“Oh, you just love to do that to me, don’t you?”, she said.

“You’re goddamn right, I do.”, he grunted, pounding into her harder.

“Oh fuck...”, she sighed.

“God dammit... you feel so good, hun. You always feel so fucking good and tight.”, he said.

“Don’t wear yourself out too much, babe. I want you more than once today.”, she said.

“But Em, you’re so fucking good- ahhh.”, he groaned, spreading her legs wider. “I just wanna fuck you as hard as I can right now.”

“Ahh, okay, do it then, _please_. Either fuck me hard or get off.”, she moaned. 

“I love you.”, he chuckled, out of breath.

“Shut up! And fuck me, Aaron!”, she said.

“Tell me you love me, Em.”, he said, moving his hips back and forth.

“Fine! I love you!”, she said, trying to meet him thrust for thrust.

“I know, I just wanted to hear you scream it.”, he smiled.

“I hate you sometimes.”, she said, frustrated.

“No, you don’t.”, he said.

“And you’re slowing down _why?_ ”, she asked.

“To do _this_.”, he said, pulling out and flipping her over, flat on her stomach. Without any warning, he slammed into her.

“Ah! Fuck!”, she cried out. 

“Better?”, he grunted.

“Y- ye- y... ahhh oh m-“, she couldn’t get a full word about.

“Good.”, he smirked, going faster. He leaned over, almost laying flat on top of her. He kissed her shoulder and neck until he realized that wasn’t enough and pulled out again. He laid down on his back and grabbed her.

“Aaron, why do you keep doing this to me? I’m never gonna come if you keep moving to different positions so quickly.”, Emily said.

“On top. _Now!_ ”, he ordered her. She immediately went to sit on him and grabbed him in her hands, sinking down on him fast. 

“Oh shit...”, she whispered, throwing her head back.

“Jesus Christ, Em. How the fuck do you this to me?”, he breathed.

“Mmmm. Why’d you switch me?”, she asked. 

“Because I want to see your face and I want to kiss you. You’re so beautiful, Em. I like being able to look at you when you tumble over the edge. When you-“ he said but she fell forward and crashed her lips onto his. He grabbed her ass and helped move her just the right way they both needed. Next thing he knew, he smacked her ass.

“Mmmm. Keep going. Yesss”, she moaned.

“Fuck, Em.”, he panted, smacking her ass again and grabbing her face, claiming her mouth.

“Mmmm I’m gonna come, babe. Ahhh.”, she breathed. 

“Come for me.”, he said, pushing up into her.

She buried her face in his neck and wrapped her arms around it, holding onto the back of his neck with one. She began rolling her hips doing something else completely to him, making him roll his eyes back in his head. She kissed his neck and kept her face pressed against it. 

Feeling her hot breath on him, he was just about ready to let go but needed her there first. He started moving along with her hips more in sync and faster until he finally felt her tightening and pulled away from their kiss to let out a loud moan.

“Ohhh, fuck. Aaron, oh my god, ahhh. Ahh I love you so much.”, she let out and kissed him, inhaling deep.

“Keep going, Em, I’m right there.”, he struggled to get out. He grabbed her sides and started moving her up to him and back down, grinding on him. “Oh shit, right there. Fuck. Ahh, Em I’m gonna-“, he said.

“I know. Come for me Aaron. _Please_.”, she whined.

“Ahhhh yes, fuck, Em. Ahhh goddd.”, he groaned, finishing bucking his hips into her. 

They stayed still for a moment before he pulled out of her and looked in each other’s eyes. She laid flat on top of him with her arms still wrapped around his neck. He brought one hand to her face and held it there while the other went to her face as he stroked it and smiled at her. He pulled her face in, allowing their lips to meet. Loving the soft touch, she slowly began to add a bit of tongue but keeping it at that level because it was a nice and slow moment unlike the one they’d just had.

“I could stay here, like this, forever.”, he said.

She smiled and turned her head into his neck, placing gentle kisses along and smiling against his skin. He rubbed her back and kissed her shoulder, stroking her hair. She rolled off of him and onto her side. He scooted closer to her and draped his arm over her side while she ran her hand along his chest.

“Aaron?”, she said.

“Mmhmmm?”, he kissed her.

“It’s been a year...”, she said.

“I _know_.”, he smiled, kissing her again.

“Do you think maybe... we should tell people?”, she asked.

“Em... “, he started.

“Never mind. That was a stupid question.”, she said, looking down.

“Sweetie, look at me.”, he said, lifting her chin up. “I’ve thought about it too. But... it just doesn’t feel like the right time yet.”, he said.

“When _is_ the right time?”, she asked.

“I don’t know... but I feel like when it _is_ , we _will_ know. Is it bothering you?”, he asked.

“A little... I mean, at first it was hard to keep it a secret, figuring out how. But then it got easier to know how to but... it’s become harder for me to in the sense of... just the fact that I hate _doing_ it if that makes any sense.”, she said.

“I’m in the same boat. I hate hiding _us_. I want to be able to go out with the team for drinks and put my arm around you. Or talk to them about how our weekend was. Or have them over here some time. Or not worry about them seeing you get in my car and driving home together. But I don’t think it’s the right time yet...”, he said.

“I know...”, she said, letting a tear trickle down her face.

“Honey... I’m sorry...”, he said, wiping it away and kissing her cheek.

“Don’t be. I just... I love you so much and I hate having to hide it from everyone.”, she said, rubbing his chest.

“I know... I’m still sorry though.”, he said, pulling her into him and holding her close against his body. “This doesn’t mean I love you any less.” She nodded and kissed his chest. “Let’s just focus on the _I love you_ part and enjoy being with each other _officially_ for 1 year now.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

“So what are you wearing tonight?”, she asked.

  
  


Later on, it was finally starting to get dark. Emily and Hotch took a shower and got dressed. She did her makeup and curled her hair before walking to the closet and grabbing a dress and pair of wedges.

The plain black dress was tight and form fitting, ending just above the knees with 2 inch straps over the shoulders. And the wedges were black that went up to her ankles.

After slipping it on, Hotch walked over to her, zipping up the back of her dress and pushing her hair to the side, placing a soft kiss on her neck. He wrapped his arms around and let his hands wander.

“We can’t go for a fourth time right now. We have to wait till we get back home.”, she giggled, turning around and giving him a kiss.

“You look so beautiful, hun. Isn’t that the dress and shoes you wore on our first date?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I thought it kind of made sense to wear it tonight.”, she said.

“Well, you look gorgeous.”, he said, holding her sides and kissing her again.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”, she smirked. “You know how much I love your shorter, tighter fitting suits. Black tie looks good on you too.”, she said, playing with it.

“Well, it _is_ really nice where we’re going.”, he said.

“I know. I told you we didn’t have to do anything over the top.”, she said.

“But I wanted to. I didn’t want to just stay in bed and have sex all day and all night. I want to celebrate us being in a relationship for a year. That’s a big thing. We still have time for that other stuff when we get home.”, he chuckled. 

“I know. It’s nice. I _do_ like having an excuse to get dressed up like this.”, she said.

“I like that too.”, he smirked, looking her up and down. “So are you ready?”, he asked.

“Yep. Let's go.”, she said, taking his arm and walking out to the car.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, they sat near the middle of the large room. The restaurant was filled, almost every table was sat. They sat next to each rather than across because they hated not being by each other’s side. After a few minutes, their champagne was brought to their table and poured in the glasses for them. Hotch took her hand and they both picked up their glass in their other.

“Em, I want to say how lucky I am to have you in my life. You’ve made me so happy every single day we’ve been together. Even when we fight because I would still be so much worse off without you. I know you’ve been in my life much longer than a year. And I know I’ve loved you longer than a year. But I’ve been able to call you _mine_ for a year now and that counts for something too. Although we can’t tell everyone about us yet, it feels nice to be able to not hide it from _everyone_ and go out in public together and live together and have Jack in our lives together and just... _be_ together. I’ve waited a long time, some of it, not even knowing if this would happen or not, to be with you. To show you how much I love you everyday and to be by your side. I love waking up to you in my arms everyday. I love coming home with you everyday. I love being able to be with you so much everyday. I love the way you make me feel everyday. I love _you_ more and more everyday. And I’m not going to stop showing you that.”, he said. 

“I know we got started in a... I can’t even think of the word but you know me well enough to understand what I mean. And that’s one reason why I love you. I remember our first night together in your hotel room. The first time you told me you love me. Afterwards, when you held me in your arms in bed, you started listing reasons why you love me and I wanna add so many things onto _my_ list but it’d be way too long. But everything you’ve done for me since the day you came back into my life, has contributed to it. You make me lose my mind, Aaron. Whether it’s in bed or we’re fighting or you bring me flowers in the morning or literally anything else you do. You make me crazy. But I love it. You take care of me and I love that. You let me in... into _your_ life, into _Jack’s_ life... You make me feel loved in a way nobody else ever has and I didn’t think that was possible. I love what we have and how far we’ve come. Everything we’ve gone through... just made us that much stronger for each other. And I love _you_. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and staying by my side through it all.”, she said.

Hotch could see tears forming in Emily’s eyes and almost felt them coming to his but choked them back. They clinked their glasses and instead of taking a sip of their champagne, they both leaned in for a kiss and pulled away after.

“Happy 1 year, hun.”, he smiled, getting one back from Emily before they took a sip of their champagne.

“Happy 1 year.”, she said.

They set their glasses down and he reached into his suit jacket pocket on the inside and pulled out a case. And handed it to her.

“What’s this?”, she asked.

“Open it.”, he said.

She took it and lifted the top, revealing the black pearl earrings he’d gotten her. She stared at them with a huge smile and looked back at him. 

“Aaron. These are _beautiful_.”, she said, starting to tear up again.

“You like them? I did alright?”, he asked.

“Yes. I _love_ them.”, she said, grabbing his face and pressing her lips to his. 

“Good. I know they’re not diamonds but I know you have some already and these are just very... _you. Different, beautiful, unique._ ”, he smiled.

“Thank you.”, she kissed him again. “I’d put them on now if we weren’t at dinner.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take you out again soon so you can.”, he said.

“Is it crazy to say that as much as I love this tonight, I kind of miss Jack? I know we saw him earlier today but still.”, she laughed.

“No, it’s not crazy. But don’t worry, we’ll see him tomorrow.”, he said.

“Good.”, she said.

  
  


As they were walking back to their car, Emily started walking down the block.

“Em, what are you doing? The car’s right here.”, he said.

She turned around and held out her hand, walking backwards slowly. “Come on, it’s so nice out. Let’s take a walk around.”, she said.

“I smell rain coming. I think we should get home before it hits.”, he said.

“I didn’t hear it on the forecast. Come on.”, she said.

He gave up and walked over to her, taking her hand and walked forwards with her. After a while, it started drizzling but they ignored it until it started pouring. “This is what I was telling you.”, he said.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go back now.”, she said, shivering. He stopped and took off his suit jacket. “What are you doing? You’re gonna get drenched.”

“I don’t care. I’ll be fine.”, he said, helping her arms through it from behind. She went to untuck her hair from the jacket and he pulled her curls to the side and placed a soft kiss between her neck and shoulder. He brought his hand down to her back as they walked back to the car. Once they got to it, she stopped by the back.

“Thank you. For everything tonight. For everything you always do for me.”, she said.

“I’d do anything for you.”, he said. They smiled and she linked her arms around his back and he held her close. They forgot all about the rain until there was a bright flash and loud thunder following right after. She gripped him tight when the noise startled her. “It’s okay, sweetie.”, he chuckled, rubbing her back. “Let’s get home though.”

“Wait. I feel like almost all of this has happened before...”, she said.

“Our first night out together. In L.A. We went to that diner and you convinced me to walk around after the same way as you did tonight. You kissed me to prove that it didn’t feel wrong. It started raining and I gave you my jacket and you never gave it back after that. In fact it’s still on your side of the closet.”, he laughed. “And I put it on you and kissed your neck and shoulder. Then, right in the same place behind the car where we’re standing now, you hugged me just like this and gripped me tighter when we heard thunder.”, he said.

“How do you remember all of that?”, she asked.

“How could I _forget any of it?_ That was also the day we had our first kiss earlier back at Quantico. I’ll never forget that. _Ever_.”, he said, bringing his hand to her face.

“Oh... that’s right.”, she said. “How did that go again? Why don’t you refresh my memory...”, she said, biting her lip in a smile. A corner of his lip turned up and he slowly brought their lips together, melting into each other. It felt like the very first time all over again. They pulled apart for air and stared in each other’s eyes. “Oh yeah. I remember now.”, she smiled.

“Maybe I can refresh your memory on our first night together in that hotel room too when we get home.”, he said.

“I think you might have to.”, she smirked.

“Well how about we get there first.”, he said, kissing her forehead and both of them getting into the car.

  
  


When they got home, they walked into their bedroom and took their shoes off. Hotch came up to Emily and slowly brought his arms around her and she threw hers over his shoulders. Right as their lips were about to touch, she stopped and pushed back. 

“Oh, wait!”, she said.

“What?”, he asked, releasing her.

“I can’t believe I almost forgot.”, she said, going in their closet and coming back out with her hands behind her back and stupid grin on her face.

“What’s behind your back?”, he asked. 

“You didn’t really think I wasn’t going to get you anything for our anniversary, did you?”, she asked.

“Sweetie, I told you I don’t need anything.”, he said, sitting on the edge of the end of the bed.

“But I wanted to do this.”, she said, walking over and bringing her hands back in front, handing him a small box.

“Em...”, he said.

“Aaron! Open it!”, she said, sitting on his lap. He put his arm around her and stretched to use both hands to open the box while she brought her arm around his neck and over his shoulder

“Honey... a _Rolex?_ I can’t take this... you shouldn’t have.”, he said.

“Do you not like it...?”, she asked quietly, dropping her head.

“No, sweetie, I love it.”, he said, rubbing her back. “It’s just... this is too nice. I can't accept it.”

“Aaron, just accept it.”, she said.

“Em, Honey...”, he said, holding the watch.

“Aaron, you got me black pearls... those are really nice. Accept a watch I got you.”, she said.

“It’s already set.”, she picked it up and checked it. “Yeah, just like I thought. See? It says it time for you to take your clothes off now.”, she said, setting it on the dresser.

She turned back around and walked over to him. He was already unbuttoning his shirt and she finished doing it for him, tossing it to the side. She walked into between his legs and kissed him while he reached around, unzipping her dress. She stepped back and let it fall to the floor, stepping out of it, only leaving her in a black lace bra and matching underwear. She walked back in between his legs and held his face. 

“Remind me what I did next from our first night.”, she whispered against his lips.

“I’m pretty sure you got on my lap...”, he said as she straddled him. “And then I think you might have even kissed me while I laid down on my back...”, he laid down while she brought her lips to his. “And then- and correct if I’m wrong- you pulled my pants off.”, he tried not to laugh as she took them off and came back up.

“What did I do next?”, she asked, climbing on top of him, starting to kiss his neck and grind on him, causing moans to escape his mouth. 

“I think you’ve got the right idea.”, he chuckled. Next thing he knew, he flipped her over and was on top. He opened his mouth when he brought it to her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. After a couple minutes, he started grinding on her slowly. “And this right here, our bodies touching, feeling each other’s presence, smelling your perfume, looking at you... this was the moment that I knew for sure, without a doubt that I loved you. I loved you before that but this was the moment I finally admitted it to myself. Earlier that day I tried to tell you but I wasn’t sure how to say it. But being in this moment that night, I was sure of everything, of everything I felt for you.”, he said. 

“Really?”, she asked, breathing hard.

“Yes.”, he said, kissing her again. He reached for her bra and she arched her back to allow him access to unhook it and he tossed it. “This was the moment that I saw your breasts for the first time and admired every single aspect of you and your body. I could barely take my eyes off you even though they typically shot straight to _your_ eyes. _Those_ are what I get lost in.”, he said. 

“I think I know what came next.”, she said. 

“Oh yeah?”, he smiled.

“Mmhmm but can you show me still?”, she asked, biting her lip.

He smirked and sat up, reaching down to start sliding her underwear off. As they got further, she unwrapped her legs and let him pull them off. Before he leaned back over and got on top of her, he scooted his boxers down and let them slip off to the side.

He got in between her legs and leaned back over her. He stared in her eyes and brought his face down to hers, kissing her deep as he grabbed his length and ran it along her wet folds. She moaned as he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly pushed in. By that point, she didn’t _need_ him to wait to continue once he was inside anymore but it was nice to enjoy the passion within and taking their time. She could sense calm and peace within him but knew that soon enough that wouldn’t be the case once he got going. 

“Are you all caught up now?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I think I remember everything. It’s very clear now. It’s all come back to me.”, she tried not to giggle and bit her lip to hold it back. 

“Good.”, he breathed, starting to move out before sliding back in. “God... Em... you feel so good.”, he said.

“Ahh so do you.”, she said, running her fingers through his hair as he tangled his in her hair. 

He started to speed up a bit and brought his lips back to hers. He ran his hand down from her ass to under her knee to hold onto while he started going harder and faster. Getting lost in the moment, they flipped over without him pulling out. 

She laid flat on him, rolling her hips until he brought his hands to her ass and started helping her to move along. Just like their first time, she felt her climax approaching and he could tell again. He rolled them back over and slowed down until he stopped. He brought his face to hers and pressed their foreheads together.

“And this was when I told you I loved you for the first time.”, he tried to catch his breath.

“And when I said it right back.”, she said.

“I love you so much, Emily”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, running her hands along his face.

He smiled and kissed her again, spreading her legs further apart, allowing him to bury himself deeper inside of her. She ran her hands up his arms and pulled him closer once they got to the back of his neck and head. His hips started moving faster and faster until they inhaled deeply mid kiss. He brought his lips to her neck and ran his tongue over each spot he planted a kiss. When he felt her tug on his hair, he bit her neck not too hard but just enough to make her whimper but in a good way. He moved down to her breasts and took one in his mouth while fondling the other making her gasp.

“Ohhh, Aaron... ahhh fuck.”, she moaned. He switched his mouth to her other breast and she started moving her hips into his. “Aaron...”, she sighed.

“What is it, hun? What do you want?”, he asked, bringing his mouth back up to her neck. 

“Harder.”, she managed to get out.

He couldn’t deny her what she’d asked for so he went full force. Knowing her better than almost anybody else, inside and out literally, he knew she was close and so was he. He pounded in and out of her hard and fast, feeling her tighten around him. Whenever she did that, he either clenched his jaw or it dropped wide open. In this case, he did both. 

“Shit, Em. Ahh fuck... I’m so close, hun.”, he grunted.

“Me too. Oh god, don’t stop, _please_.”, she whined.

“Em, come for me, honey. I can feel how tight you are. Just let go. I’m right there with you. Ahhh come on, hun. Fuck.”, he panted.

“I’m gonna- oh god- oh god , I’m gonna come.”, she said.

He started pounding in and out of her faster and harder. He brought his thumb to her clit and started rubbing her until he could feel her squeezing him.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Em. Fuck, yes, just like that.”, he said.

“I’m about to-“, she breathed.

“I know, sweetie. Let go. _Please_.”, he said, kissing her neck again while she grabbed onto his back and the back of his neck.

“Ahh! Aaron! Yes! Ahh fuck! Oh my god, ahh come for me Aaron! Please!”, she screamed.

“Ah shit, Em! Ahhhh. Yes!”, he called out. “Ahh right there right there...”, he whispered, thrusting into her, coming over and over again, riding out his high. 

Hotch kept his face buried in her neck as Emily rubbed the back of his head, soothing for them both. Her other hand stayed on his back, reached up, latched onto his shoulder. They stayed there for a few minutes before he pulled out of her and kissed her neck.

They scooted up to the front of the bed and climbed in under the sheets, facing each other. He pulled her closer to him until their bodies were touching and draped his arm over her side. He tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at her, pressing their foreheads together.

“That was amazing, Em.”, he said, kissing her.

“Anything with you is amazing.”, she said.

“I’m so lucky to have you, hun. In my life. To call you _mine_.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she smiled. “Not only do I get to come home with you every night but... you _are_ my home.”, she said.

He stroked her cheek until he closed his eyes and she saw a tear fall. “I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Honey, why are you-“, she started.

“I just love you so much and I can’t believe this is actually our life right now. It’s just so real. It seems too good to be true and I’m so scared of losing you. I don’t know why...”, he said.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetie.”, she said, wiping the tears off his face and kissing him. “I’m right here. We made a promise to each other to never give up, okay?”, she said.

“I know...”, he said, opening his eyes and looking directly in hers. 

“Happy anniversary.”, she said. 

“Happy anniversary, hun.”, he said, bringing their lips together before she rested her head on his chest and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  
  



	69. Did You Really Think I Forgot?

  
  
  


**Chapter 69**

  
  
  
  


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A few weeks later at work, Emily and Spencer were having lunch in Rossi’s office. Hotch walked in at one point to ask Rossi about a report he was working on. Emily figured he must’ve made eye contact with her a few too many times because Rossi gave her a look once Hotch walked out.

They’d been skeptical about him for a while ever since he made a comment about Hotch needing to wait till he was cleared to go back out in the field after his ears got injured from the bomb in New York. He’d implied he knew how much Hotch cared about Emily when she was at Liberty Ranch and Hotch took a moment to calm down. Rossi _knew_. But he’d never speak about it to them. And then the way he looked at her after Hotch left almost became too much for her.

“So, I know it’s Hotch’s birthday tomorrow and I had an idea...”, Rossi said to Emily and Spencer.

“It’s his birthday tomorrow?”, Emily played dumb.

“How did you not know that?”, Spencer asked.

“How _would_ I know that? I don’t have an eidetic memory like you, boy wonder.”, she nudged him with a laugh.

“Anyways, I was thinking we could throw a surprise party for him at my house. Maybe even invite Jack and Haley. I know he said they’re on good terms and I know he doesn’t always get much time to spend with Jack doing fun things like that. It could be them and us, the whole team. Do you guys know any friends of his we could invite or his brother?”, Rossi asked, looking from Spencer to Emily and locking his eyes on hers for a little longer than she would’ve liked.

“I met his brother once. I don’t know how close they are.”, Spencer said.

“He mentioned to me recently that he saw him not long ago and they were keeping in touch so maybe we could call him and see.”, Rossi said, looking over at Emily. “Would you do that, Emily?”

“Wha- me? Why me?”, she asked defensively.

“I could do it I guess, just wondering if you would and maybe call Haley too...”, Rossi said.

“Oh. Yeah, sure. I’ll go pull their numbers right now.”, she said, walking out fast. 

She went to her desk and pretended to look up Sean and Haley’s numbers before walking back up the steps and to the hallway. She stood outside the bathroom and called Haley. After a few rings, she picked up.

“Hey!”, Haley said.

“Hey, sorry to call randomly but I had a question...”, Emily said. 

“Okay... you sound rushed. Wait, why are you calling me from work? Is Aaron okay?”, Haley asked.

“Oh, yeah. He’s completely alright. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out.”, Emily said.

“No, no, you’re good. What’s going on?”, Haley asked.

“Rossi wanted to throw Aaron a surprise party tomorrow night for his birthday at his place which by the way is like a freaking mansion. He put _me_ in charge of contacting everyone, oddly enough. So, would you want to come? Bring Jack too, of course.”, Emily said.

“Sure! It sounds fun. It’s been a while since I’ve seen everyone and I’m sure they’d love to see Jack now. None of them have since he was a newborn.”, Haley said. 

“Great. Oh and I was going to call Carson but if anyone asks, can we just say it was you who called him. Otherwise, they’ll wonder how I knew about one of his friends and-“, Emily said.

“No worries.”, Haley chuckled. “Oh, Jack just woke up from his nap. Do you wanna say _hi_. Oh, if you have a minute...”

“Yeah, put him on! Wait, why is he at home and not preschool?”, Emily asked.

“A bunch of kids got sick with the flu so they sent everyone home for a few days. He seems to be fine though.”, Haley said.

“Okay, yeah, put him on.”, Emily said and after a few seconds, she heard Jack on the other line.

“Hi, Emily.”, he said in his cute little sleepy voice.

“Hey, sweetie. Are you feeling okay?”, she asked.

“Mmhmm.”, he said and she heard him yawn.

Suddenly she saw Hotch heading towards the bathroom which she was standing right outside of, so she knew of course he would come up to her, which he did.

He looked all around before he spoke. “Em, who is that?”, he asked.

She didn’t have time or any excuse to lie so she hoped that nothing about the surprise party would come up. “It’s Jack.”, she said to Hotch. “What did you do today?”, she asked Jack and covered the speaker while he spoke.

“Why are you talking to Jack? Can I say _hi?_ ”, he asked.

“Yeah, he just woke up from a nap so he’s a little groggy.”, she said to Hotch. “Oh that sounds like fun. Oh hey, sweetie, your daddy’s here too. Wanna say _hi?_ ”, she asked Jack.

“Yeah.”, he said.

She handed the phone to Hotch who gladly accepted it. “Hey buddy, why aren’t you at school?”, Hotch asked.

“Kids got sick.”, Jack said.

“Ohhh. Are _you_ sick?”, Hotch asked.

“No.”, Jack said. “Mommy, can I have snack?”, Hotch heard him ask Haley.

“Jack.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah?”, Jack said.

“I gotta go but I’ll give the phone back to Emily now, okay?”, Hotch said.

“Okay.”, Jack said.

“Alright, I love you. I’ll see you on Friday, okay?”, Hotch said.

“Okay. I love you, daddy.”, Jack said and Hotch handed the phone back to Emily. 

“Hey, can you put your mommy back on the phone now?”, she asked Jack.

“Okay. I love you.”, Jack said.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, she said. 

“Hey, sorry he’s not very talkative right now. Like I said, he just woke up from a nap. But tomorrow night. What time?”, Haley said.

“Oh well, I was thinking-“, Emily started and looked at Hotch who was still standing next to her. “Aaron. Didn’t you have to go to the bathroom?”, she asked.

“Well, I just thought that-“, he started before Emily pushed him towards the door.

“Go! Go to the bathroom.”, she said and he looked back at her confused but walked in anyways. “Anyways, I was thinking about maybe 7:00 if that’s not too late for Jack. You know what let’s do 6:30. Is that okay?”, Emily asked.

“6:30 is good, yeah. He can stay up a little bit. I’ll make sure he gets a good nap in since he’ll be home tomorrow anyways.”, Haley said. 

“Great, I’ll let Rossi know and text you the address and I got him a-“, Emily started but was interrupted by Hotch walking back out and over to her. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”, she covered up.

“Did he just walk back out?”, Haley asked.

“Yep.”, Emily said.

“Okay, text me the address later and we’ll see you tomorrow.”, Haley chuckled.

“Sounds good, bye.”, Emily hung up. “Jeez you came out of nowhere.”

“I was just in the bathroom right there.”, Hotch laughed. “Why were you on the phone with Haley?”

“Uhh it was just some girl stuff.”, she said.

“It was so important to call in the middle of the work day?”, he asked.

“Aaron, it was girl stuff. Do you _really_ wanna know?”, she raised an eyebrow and he put hands up and shut his eyes, shaking his head.

“Nope. No, that’s alright. I’m good.”, he laughed.

“Mmhmm that’s what I thought.”, she said. He took her hand and pulled her off to the side more. “What are you doing?” He put his hand on her face and gave her a kiss. “Aaron, we’re at work.”, she whispered with a giggle.

“I know but no one’s around. I just wanted one little kiss.”, he smiled.

“You’re too cute.”, she kissed him again.

“So what do you think we should do tomorrow night?”, he asked.

She knew what he was insinuating and if they were going to pull off the surprise party, she had to play dumb. “Oh, well JJ and Garcia are having a girl’s night at JJ’s place so I was just gonna hangout with them. Why?”, she asked.

“Oh. Um, no reason, I guess. Just wondering if you had any plans...”, he said.

“Yeah. I might be over there late. Is that alright? Did you want to do something?”, she asked.

“No. No, that’s fine.”, he said, not so convincingly. 

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna go finish lunch and get back to work now.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek and patted his chest, walking away. Emily walked back into Rossi’s office and closed the door.

“So? Did you get ahold of anyone?”, Spencer asked.

“I figured I’d call Haley and she said she could contact his brother and another friend of his so we got all that taken care of. I told her 6:30 if that’s alright.”, she said.

“Sounds perfect. Should we do a cake or?”, Rossi asked.

“His favorite’s a Devil’s Food Cake.”, she said, looking down at her phone, texting Haley what she’d gotten Hotch for his birthday. After she realized what she said and felt their eyes on her in that awkward moment of silence, she looked up. “I heard him mention it before...”

“We can get one of those. I’m thinkin’ I’ll invite him over to play some poker, have a nice scotch, just got some new Cuban cigars. Have him think it’ll be a guys’ night.”, Rossi said.

“Hotch doesn’t smoke cigars.”, Emily laughed.

“He does sometimes, well- on occasion when I have them.”, Rossi said. 

Emily stopped. Hotch told her he never smokes. Anything. But it’s not like she could ask him right then. “ _Reeeally...?_ Interesting...”, Emily said, knowing she’d scold Hotch after the party. 

“I’m gonna go finish up some work but keep me updated with the plans.”, Spencer said, walking out of Rossi’s office. 

Rossi looked at Emily and waited for her to make eye contact with him after watching Spencer walk out. 

“So... are you gonna get him anything?”, Rossi asked.

“What? No. Maybe a card from all of us I guess. Why? What’d you get him?”, she asked.

“A bottle of scotch, of course. 20 year old single malt.”, Rossi said.

“No shit...”, Emily said, wondering if she could return her gift, seeing as how she got him the same thing. She also got him a new tie and _outfit_ for herself to wear for him that night in bed.

“Think he’ll like it?”, he eyed her.

“Um, yeah. I’m sure he will. You know him better than I do though.”, she said.

“Right.”, he said, nodding his head and looking at her in a way where she could tell he knew something.

“Well, I’m gonna go do some work now, so keep me updated as well.”, she tried to smile and walked out, back to her desk.

By the end of the day Emily was waiting until everybody left but Rossi went into Hotch’s office, making her have to wait even longer until they could go home. He came out a few minutes later and gave her a thumbs up, letting her know he invited Hotch over for the next night and their plan was on. Once he walked out, she packed up her things and before she could head towards Hotch’s office, he was already walking out of it, down to her desk.

“Hey, what did Rossi want?”, she asked him.

“He invited me over tomorrow night for drinks and poker with the guys.”, he said, wrapping his arm around her.

“Oh, that sounds like fun.”, she said.

“Yeah...”, he said, quietly.

Once they got home after what felt like a really long drive because it was silent almost all the way there, he went to the bathroom. Emily changed into her pajamas and waited for Hotch to come out until she heard the shower. She went over to the door and knocked.

“Hey, did you want some company in there?”, she asked.

“No, I’m fine.”, he said.

She was a bit taken aback by his response. He never turned that down. She shrugged it off and got in bed. Once he came out, he changed into his pajamas as well and got in bed on his side, not bothering to move to the middle or closer to Emily.

She scooted over to him, laying on his back, she curled up next to him, laying on her side. She rubbed his chest and kissed his neck, getting no reaction from him, she took her hand and ran it up his chest under his shirt, still kissing his neck. After a few times of doing so, he turned on his side, away from her. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?”, she asked, rubbing his arm.

“I’m just really tired.”, he said.

“You’ve been acting weird all night since Rossi left your office. What’s really going on?”, she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Nothing, Em. I just wanna sleep.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said.

He finally rolled over to face her and reached for her side, rubbing it. “Sweetie, I’m sorry but I’m just really tired right now, okay? And alright, fine, I’m not in a great mood either but I don’t feel like talking right now. Maybe tomorrow but let’s just sleep now, okay?”, he said in a tired but also kind and trying voice.

“Okay. Thank you for communicating that to me. I appreciate it. I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, he said, leaning in for a quick kiss before turning around again.

She couldn’t help but wonder if he was upset because she had pretended to forget about his birthday being the next day. She started to feel bad but knew he was okay and that he would find out that wasn’t true the next day anyways. She instinctively reached her arm out for him but instead, gave him his space and backed up to her own pillow, falling asleep shortly after.

The next morning, more than anything, Emily wanted to roll over and give Hotch a big hug and kiss and cook him a birthday breakfast and have morning birthday sex and give him presents but she knew she had to wait.

The alarm clock woke Emily the next morning and normally Hotch turned it off right away but not that time. After going off 5 times, Emily got up and walked to his side of the bed and turned it off. He was obviously awake and his eyes were open but he was just staring at the ground, worrying Emily. She knelt to the ground and touched his face. 

“Honey, you alright?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he mumbled, not looking her in the eye.

“Okay. Come on. You’re getting up.”, she said, lifting him and making him sit up.

“Emily, stop.”, he said.

“No. You need to get up, Aaron. I know you’re not in a good mood but you still need to get to work. You can be upset for whatever reason and you don’t have to talk to me but you still need to get up.”, she said, dragging him by his hands to stand up. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. 

“Em, I love you but I just need some space right now. In this moment. I’m not pushing you away. I just... need some space...”, he said, taking her arms off of him and walking out to the kitchen. 

She hated seeing him like that but kept telling herself it would be over later that day. She went to take a shower and by the time she was changed and ready, she went out to the kitchen for coffee. Hotch was sitting at the table hunched over, sipping his own, still in his pajamas. She looked at her watch and her eyes grew wide.

“Aaron, we have 5 minutes till we have to leave! You need to get dressed.”, she said.

“I think I’m just gonna call out sick.”, he said.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to him fast. “I’m sorry. I respect your space but I’m not going to let you just call out sick today because you’re in a mood.”, she said , picking him up from his seat. She pulled him inside their room and grabbed a suit for him. She handed it to him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Em...”, he said.

“No no. You are going to work. And you know what? _I’m_ driving.”, she said.

“Fine.”, he said, giving up and standing to get changed.

He finally got ready and grabbed his briefcase walking out the door before her, allowing her to grab the car keys. She didn’t try to speak to him on the way to work, knowing he would continue to stare out the car window the whole time and not engage anyways. 

Right after they parked, she reached for his hand but he pulled away, unbuckling his seat belt, and got out of the car, heading inside. She followed after and was glad to see he waited and held the door open for her. Once they got on the elevator he reached his hand over and took hers in it, squeezing it tight and stroking it with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, hun.”, he said.

“It’s okay. I just don’t want to see you give up even for a day.”, she said, confused about him being all over the place with his emotions the past day but she went along with it, knowing that’s what he needed. “I’m right here if you need me for anything. You know where to find me.”, she giggled.

“I do.”, he kissed the top of her head. 

When they heard the elevator ding, they broke apart and stepped to the sides before getting off. Emily looked all around and didn’t see anybody. She grabbed Hotch’s shoulder and pulled him back to face her.

“Hey. I love you.”, she said, tilting her head.

He looked all around and didn’t see anybody either. He put his hand on her face and lips to hers. “I love you too.”, he said and walked ahead, up to his office.

A few hours later JJ came up to Emily’s desk and leaned against it. “Hey what’s up with _that?_ ”, JJ asked her, motioning her head towards Hotch obviously stressing over something he was working on.

“I’m pretty sure he’s upset because I’m pretending like I forgot his birthday today. We have that surprise party for tonight at Rossi’s but I told Aaron that I’m going to hang with you and Penelope to have a girls night.”, Emily said.

“You did _not!_ You’re seriously letting him think that you forgot his birthday?!”, JJ asked. 

“I need him to think that if we wanna pull off this surprise party!”, Emily said.

“You better have something real nice planned for later to make up for it.”, JJ said. 

“Oh trust me... I _do_.”, Emily laughed.

By the end of the work day, everyone left and went to Rossi’s to set up for the party. Emily had told him that she’d be there soon and she would be on cake duty. Once they all left, Emily walked into Hotch’s office and helped him pack up. They walked out to the car together and she drove them home. 

Back at their apartment, Emily was changing into jeans and converse but still had on her shirt from earlier and loose curls that hung down to her shoulders. She didn’t change her makeup either, knowing that nobody would be dressed up at all. She walked out of their room to grab her keys and give Hotch a kiss goodbye.

“Bye honey, have fun tonight.”, she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“You too.”, he said, sounding down again.

She was finally able to ignore it, knowing that in just about an hour, Hotch would know that no one, especially Emily, actually forgot his birthday. 

She picked up his Devil’s Food cake from a bakery that stayed open late and texted Rossi, letting him know she was on her way to his house. When she got there, she went through the side gate to the backyard where everyone else was.

“Hi, sorry I’m late! But I got the cake.”, she said, holding it up. “Whoa, I thought this was gonna be small, just a few of us. Not the whole BAU.”, she laughed.

“It’s only like 30 people or so.”, Rossi laughed. “Just go set the cake down over on that table by the plates. He should be here in just a few minutes.”

“Okay.”, she said. She walked over to the table Rossi had pointed to and set the cake down. As she took the top of the box off, she heard her name and little footsteps running towards her.

“Emily!”, Jack called to her, running up with his arms reaching out.

Without even thinking about it, she bent down and picked him up. “Hey, sweetie.”, she smiled. She held him to her side and he hugged her neck. The main team members looked over at her confused. Confused as to how Jack knew her and why she was calling him _sweetie_. Haley walked up to them and tried to come up with a plan, hoping Emily would catch on and follow her lead. 

“Emily, hey. Sorry about that. As you can see, he gets attached pretty easily.”, Haley said, taking Jack back.

“Oh, it’s fine.”, Emily laughed, waiting to see where Haley was going with it.

“Thanks for playing with him the other night while I was talking with Aaron. I know you probably wanted to just leave work already and get home.”, Haley said.

“It’s no problem. Anytime, really.”, Emily, smiled.

After that, everyone kept talking amongst themselves again while Haley and Emily walked off to the side with Jack.

“I didn’t even think of that happening.”, Haley said.

“Neither did I. Nice save.”, Emily laughed.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve made sure-“, Haley started.

“No, no. It’s fine. I think everyone bought it. Oh. Where’s Carson and Sean?”, Emily asked. 

“Ummm... oh, they’re over there together.”, Haley pointed.

“Great, I’m gonna go say _hi_ to them.”, she said, leaning down and ruffling Jack’s hair first. 

As she approached Carson and Sean, they both looked over at her and tried to hide a smile, pretending they didn’t know her already. Since nobody could hear them, they talked normally but put their hands out and shook hers.

“Emily! I feel like it’s been so long.”, Carson said.

“A couple months. Same with you, Sean. I guess that _is_ a little while. You guys met before?”, she asked.

“A couple times.”, Sean said.

“Maybe all four of us should get together soon.”, she said.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Hey, nice party. This house... wow.”, Sean said.

“Trust me, I _know_.”, she said.

“So, Aaron hasn’t returned any of my texts today. He alright?”, Carson asked.

“I think he’s just bummed, thinking everyone forgot his birthday.”, she said.

“He’s never been a huge birthday person before though.”, Sean said.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m kind of confused.”, Carson said.

“Really?”, she asked.

All of a sudden, they heard a knock on the front door and Rossi had everybody quiet down while he went inside and answered the front door. 

“Hey, come in. We’re all set up outside but let me get you a drink first.”, Rossi said.

“Yeah, sure. I could really use one right about now.”, Hotch said walking over to Rossi’s bar where he fixed him a scotch on the rocks.

“That bad of a day, huh?”, Rossi asked, walking towards the back door.

“Yeah, you could say that...”, Hotch said.

“Hopefully this’ll get your mind off that.”, Rossi said, opening the door and walking out into the backyard. 

As soon as Hotch stepped out and saw everybody, they all shouted, “Surprise!” He instantly turned to Rossi who patted his back, leading him out to everyone.

“You planned all this?”, Hotch asked him.

“ _Well_... with the help of Reid and Prentiss. But everybody was in on it.”, Rossi said.

“Wow. I honestly did not see this coming.”, Hotch said.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, running up to him. 

“Ohh! Hey, buddy!”, Hotch said, picking him up. “Where’s your mommy?”

“There.”, Jack pointed as Haley walked up. 

“Hey. Happy birthday!”, she said.

“Thanks. There’s a lot of people here...”, he said, looking all around.

“Yeah, Dave invited more than we thought so make sure you get some cake before it’s all gone.”, she said.

“There’s cake too?”, he asked.

“Yep. Devil’s food cake. Emily made sure to get it. She knew it was your favorite. It’s right over there at the table with the plates.”, she said.

“Oh god... Emily... she helped put this together?”, he asked.

“Yeah, her and Dave and Spencer. That’s what she was doing on the phone with me yesterday. Making sure I could come tonight with Jack.”, she said.

“I feel horrible. I thought she forgot and- ugh I’ll have to talk to her later.”, he said. 

“I’m sure she’ll understand.”, Haley said.

“I’m gonna go say _hi_ to everyone but I’ll come back around.”, he said, giving Jack a kiss and setting him down.

“Alright, so are we. Everyone was going crazy over Jack when we got here, seeing him so much bigger now.”, she said.

“I bet.”, he said, walking away. He saw Emily talking to Sean and Carson and started walking over after a few minutes of interacting with everyone else. Once he headed over to them, Emily went to JJ and Penelope.

20 minutes later, Hotch went inside to refill his drink and Rossi came in. “There’s a balcony upstairs if you need some fresh air... alone. Some quiet space.”, Rossi said and Hotch nodded. Rossi walked back outside and Hotch stood there for a moment and watched Emily laugh, talking with everybody, having a good time. He still felt... off and decided to take a moment and headed towards the balcony upstairs. Emily looked over and saw him walking up. She knew that was her moment to get him alone so she followed him.

She walked up the stairs and down the hallway until she spotted Hotch standing out on the balcony through the study. Facing the front lawn, Hotch leaned forward against the wall of it. She walked up and leaned against the doorway, watching him look at the moon’s reflection on the drink in his glass and out towards the street.

“Hey.”, she said, almost whispered.

He didn’t turn around, he wasn’t startled, he barely moved. “Hey.”, he said after a long pause.

“Are you mad?”, she asked.

He shook his head and was silent again for another moment before he said, “No.”

“Are you _okay?_ ”, she asked.

“I don’t know.”, he shrugged his shoulders. She stood up straight and walked over, leaning forward against the wall right next to him, copying his posture. She turned her head and looked at him but he was still staring straight ahead. “I don’t know...”, he said again, taking a sip of his drink. 

She brought her hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it. “Honey, talk to me. Is it the party? Was that too much?”, she asked.

“No. No, this is...”, he trailed off and turned to face her. He took her hand in his and kissed it. “The party is very nice. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I made you think I-“, she started.

Before she could finish, he pulled her in and held her to his body, placing his lips on hers. “Thank you, sweetie.”, he said, pressing his forehead to hers and tucking her hair behind her ear. 

One of her hands was on his side and the other, holding onto his bicep. “Happy birthday.”, she said.

“Thank you, hun. And thank you for helping throw this party tonight. I’m really sorry I’ve been so off the past day or so.”, he said.

“It’s okay. I’d be upset too if I thought everyone forgot my birthday.”, she said.

“Yeah... it’s not just that...”, he said.

“Well, what else is bothering you?”, she asked, rubbing his arm.

“I don’t mean to sound like an ass when I say this but I don’t think you’d understand.”, he said.

“Try me. If I don’t, I’m still here to listen.”, she said.

He pulled back and wrapped his arm around her lower back as they leaned forward on the wall again, picking up his drink.

“I’ll be 50 in just a few years and... I don’t know if I feel like I’ve done everything I can with my life in that time frame. I feel like I’ve missed out on something, that all this time has gone by and I don’t know if I have done everything I _want_ to but instead, done everything I felt I _had_ to or was _expected_ to. I’ve been successful in my career, sure. But I feel like something is missing and I don’t know if time is running out or not for it because I don’t know what it is...”, he sighed. “I don’t know... maybe it’s just some mid life crisis I’m having.”

“That’s completely normal to feel like that.”, she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I feel like I’ve wanted to make a difference in people's lives in some way. I mean, that’s why I do what I do, right? But I don’t think I have ever stopped and taken the time to really do that for the people that matter the most to me. I feel like I’ve let a lot of people down. My brother, my friends, Haley, Jack... you...”, he said.

“Honey, how could you have possibly let me down?”, she laughed. “If anything, you build me back up again each time I feel like I’m losing it.”, she said, rubbing his chest.

“No. I’ve let you down.”, he said. 

“How? Why would you think that?”, she asked.

“All those times I hurt you before we started this relationship, fights we’ve gotten in, not being good enough for you, the pregnancy...”, he said, with his voice cracking at the end and taking a sip of his drink, swirling it around.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Em, I don’t deserve you. I know what you always say about that but... you’re too good for me.”, he said.

“Don’t say that. I don’t want to ever hear you say that. _I_ choose what’s good enough for me. I love you so much and I chose to be with you because of that. You haven’t let me down. What happened with us before we got into a real relationship is in the past now and we wouldn’t be where we are at now if it wasn’t for that. Every couple has fights. That’s normal but you never let me down because of them. And... the pregnancy... that wasn’t just your fault. We were both responsible for that happening. You supported me through the whole thing... you did the complete opposite of letting me down with that. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through that without you.”, she said, letting a tear fall on his shoulder. She stood up straight and turned him to face her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he brought his around her back. 

“Em, I-“, he started.

“Don’t talk right now.”, she said, bringing her lips to his. She slid her hand to his face and pulled his face in more. Parting their lips, their tongues danced around with each other and it all became more passionate and slow. Breaking for air after a minute, she stroked his cheek and looked in his eyes. 

“Can I tell you I love you or should I still shut up?”, he laughed. 

“That’s perfectly acceptable.”, she said. 

“Okay, good. I love you, Emily.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she kissed him. “In fact... I might have a few other surprises for you tonight...”, she smirked.

“Oh? I think I like the sound of that.”, he chuckled.

“Mmhmm. But first, we need to get back out there. I got you your favorite cake.”, she said.

“I heard.”, he said.

“Are you good?”, she asked.

“I’m _better_. You always seem to make me feel better.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Happy birthday, sweetie.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he smiled.

She wrapped her arms around his neck again and hugged him tight before they went back inside. Right as they stepped out into the hall, Rossi walked up to them and they stopped in their tracks. 

“Thought I’d find you both here. People were wondering where you went. Come on, there’s cake.”, Rossi said, walking back downstairs.

“Do you think he knows?”, Emily asked Hotch.

“He definitely knows. He just won’t say it unless one of us does.”, he said.

“Are we really that bad at hiding it?”, she asked.

“No. He’s just that good and JJ’s your best friend. I don’t think anyone else has a clue.”, he said.

“Let’s hope it stays that way for a while.”, she said, walking ahead and down the stairs as he followed behind.

Once they went back outside to everyone, Hotch walked over to Jack and picked him up, looking over at Emily and smiling.

“Daddy, can I have cake?”, Jack asked. 

“You can have a couple bites of mine.”, Hotch said, holding him with one hand while he went to cut a piece of cake but Emily walked up first.

“Let me cut that for you.”, she said.

“Emily!”, Jack said, reaching out for her. Hotch gave her a worried look and she waved it off.

“Haley came up with an excuse when it happened earlier. We’re all good.”, Emily said, grabbing Jack and holding him up on her side. 

“Can we go to the zoo on Saturday?”, Jack asked.

“The zoo, huh? Let’s see what your daddy thinks.”, she said, looking over at Hotch putting a piece of cake on his plate. 

“Sure. We haven’t been in a while.”, he said. 

“Have you said _hello_ to Carson and Sean?”, she asked. 

“They’re here?”, he asked.

“Yes! Go bring Jack over. Your brother still hasn’t met him.”, she said.

“Here, come with me. I’ll pretend I’m introducing you and you’re holding Jack for me. It won’t seem weird to others. Come on.”, he said. 

Emily followed Hotch, expecting weird stares from everyone but receiving none. They found Carson and Sean chatting off to the side further away from everyone and walked up to them.

“Hey, happy birthday man!”, Sean said, giving Hotch a “ _man_ hug”. 

“Thanks, Sean. There is someone that I’d like you to meet. Jack? This is your uncle Sean.”, Hotch said.

He looked confused so Emily stepped in. “That’s your daddy’s brother. His name is Sean.”, she said.

“Hi.”, Jack said, shyly, leaning back on Emily. 

“Hey, buddy. Can I get a high five?”, Sean asked and Jack reached out giving him one and started giggling when Sean kept throwing his hands up for more.

“Where’s Haley?”, Emily asked Hotch.

“I think she just ran to the restroom real quick.”, he said and she nodded.

“So. How was the 1 year?”, Carson asked.

“It was a few weeks ago but it was good. Nice dinner, nice drawing from Jack...”, she tickled him. “He got me black pearl earrings.”, she pointed to Hotch.

“Yeah, well, she got me this Rolex so I felt like my gift was-“, he said, holding up his wrist.

“Stop. I told you. They’re really nice and I love them.”, she said, bringing her hand up to touch his arm but quickly brought it back down once she realized what she was doing.

“I wanna bite.”, Jack said, reaching for Hotch’s cake. He picked a piece up with his fork and fed it to him. 

Right as he did that, Haley walked up. “I leave you two alone with each other for 5 minutes and you’re feeding him chocolate cake that’s gonna keep him up for hours.”, Haley raised an eyebrow and Hotch panicked until she started laughing. “I’m kidding but he did already have a couple bites of my piece so no more for you, Jack.”, she pointed at him. 

Jack pouted and hugged Emily’s neck again. Haley laughed and rubbed his back. “It seems like everyone bought the story we came up with earlier.”, Emily said.

“I tried to think quickly on my feet.”, Haley said.

“What was it?”, Hotch asked.

“That I came by your work one night to talk about something and Emily watched Jack and played with him while we were in your office.”, Haley said.

“It worked? People bought it?”, he asked.

“Guess so.”, Emily said. “Hey, Jack, sweetie. I’m gonna give you back to your mommy now, okay?”, Emily said, handing him over to Haley.

JJ walked up to their group and smiled, expecting to be introduced. “Well, look who it is. All the cool kids.”, she laughed.

“JJ, this is my brother Sean, you’ve met him once, my friend Carson, and of course Haley and Jack.”, Hotch said, moving so she can shake their hands and give Haley a side hug because of her huge belly. 

“Hey Jack. I haven’t seen you since right after you were born. Look how big you are now. How old are you now?”, JJ asked even though she already knew.

“Three!”, Jack said holding out 3 with his fingers.

“Three?! Wow that’s so- ahh.”, JJ winced in pain.

“Jayje. Are you alright?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”, JJ said, scrunching up her face and taking mastered breaths. She placed her hands on her very pregnant belly. 

“JJ how long have you been getting this pain?”, Haley asked.

“I don’t know. Every 10 minutes or so in the last hour? I’m fine, really.”, JJ said.

“Oh my god, you’re having contractions!”, Haley said.

“No, I can’t be because I’m not even due for another 3 weeks.”, JJ said.

“Well, whenever it was supposed to be, isn’t anymore because you’re having this baby tonight.”, Haley said. 

  
  



	70. Two Birthdays In One

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 70**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


“You gotta go to the hospital. Emily and I will drive you.”, Hotch said.

“Whoa, can we do anything?”, Sean asked.

“Umm... no, I don’t think so. I’m sorry. Thanks for coming. It really means a lot. Can we get together soon? Have it even be all four of us.”, Hotch said to Carson and Sean.

“Yeah, Emily already suggested that. We’ll make a plan soon. But go, get her to the hospital.”, Carson said. 

“Alright, thanks again guys!”, Hotch said grabbing one of JJ’s arms while Emily held the other as they walked her to his car.

“Where is Will?”, Emily asked.

“He’s back in New Orleans consulting on a case. But he’s supposed to be on a plane right now, heading back. Of course the one time he flies out there happens to be during the time I go into labor.”, JJ said.

“Whoa, what’s going on?”, Rossi asked.

“JJ’s in labor! Hotch is gonna drive and I’m gonna sit with her. Could you call Will?”, Emily asked Rossi.

“No! Wait! I need to talk to him. Will you call him in the car?”, she asked Emily.

“Sure.”, Emily said.

“Thanks for the party, Dave but it looks like next year we may be throwing one for someone else.”, Hotch chuckled.

Emily and Hotch finished getting JJ into his SUV which they were thankful for so JJ had some space in the large vehicle. Emily sat in the backseat all the way to the hospital with her. 

“Aaron, I’m so sorry. It’s your birthday and-“, JJ tried.

“JJ! Your baby might have the same birthday as me. That’d be a pretty cool birthday present that wasn’t even intended.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess so.”, JJ tried to laugh.

“I’m calling Will now.”, Emily said. “Will, hey, can you get to the hospital?”, Emily asked and JJ grabbed the phone from her.

“You better get here now!... _why?_ Because I’m in labor!... well drive faster!”, JJ yelled and hung up.

“Okay, we’re almost there. Right, babe?”, Emily asked Aaron. 

“Yep. Just hold on JJ.”, he said.

“I have to say this in advance to you guys but I’m so sorry if I’m a bitch to you later.”, JJ laughed. 

“We totally get it. Haley almost broke my hand while squeezing it and screaming at me when she was in labor so I can take it.”, Hotch laughed.

“Well, until Will gets here-“, JJ started.

“I’m your guy. You can scream at me all you want. You can squeeze my hand as tight as you need. I’ve got you.”, Hotch said.

“Oh good, we’re here.”, Emily sighed.

Hotch and Emily helped JJ out and walked into the E.R. where a nurse rushed to get her a wheelchair. They followed JJ and the nurse to her room and stood in the hall while she changed into a gown. They walked back in once she was in the bed. 

“Hey, you seem to be a bit mellowed out now.”, Hotch said, pulling up a chair to the side of her bed. 

“Yeah, for now. Contractions are less than 10 minutes apart now and I’m so ready for this to be over so I can see my son _and_ so I can’t stop being in so much pain.”, JJ said. 

“Here.”, Emily said, handing her a cup of ice chips and pulling up a chair next to Hotch, holding his hand.

“God, what if Will doesn’t make it on time?”, JJ said.

“He will get here.”, Hotch said, offering his hand as soon as she felt another contraction. 

“Is everyone else coming? I don’t want anybody here until after. Except for you guys and Will.”, JJ said. 

“We’ll make sure they all stay out in the waiting room.”, Emily said.

The doctor came in and checked all her vitals. “You guys might want to stand back up there. I have to do an exam now.”, the doctor said. Emily and Hotch got up and stood by JJ’s head.

“So?”, JJ asked.

“Looks like it’s just about time to start pushing.”, she said.

“What?! No. Will isn’t here yet.”, she said.

“Baby can’t wait. I’ll go grab everything and be right back.”, she said as she walked out.

Just a minute later, Will ran through the doors to her room. “JJ!”, he said, grabbing her hand.

“What took you so long?!”, JJ said.

“I’m sorry. Traffic. But I’m here now, what’s the update?”, he asked.

“Doctor is gonna be right back. It’s time.”, she said.

“Oh my god!”, Will said with a huge smile. 

“We’re gonna go wait out there since there’s a limit for how many people can be in here but just have them come get us whenever you’re ready.”, Emily said.

“You can do this.”, Hotch smiled.

“Thanks guys.”, she said, tearing up.

They walked out and went to the cafeteria. Hotch put his arm around Emily as they walked in and kissed her head. 

“You better not be late when that’s me.”, she laughed.

“What?”, he asked, completely shocked that she brought up the topic. It was the first time since the abortion, she’d even mentioned anything on the subject.

“Yeah. I’ll be pretty pissed.”, she said.

“You haven’t talked about that for a while.”, he said, grabbing a sandwich for each of them.

“Well... I am now. I’m not saying I’m ready right now. I’m just saying... _whenever_ that’s us in there, you better not be late. You better be by my side the whole time.”, she said, paying for their chocolate milks and sandwiches. They walked over to one of the tables in there and sat down to eat.

“Honey, is this something you’ve thought about lately?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I’m always thinking about it...”, she said.

“I didn’t know...”, he said.

“I don’t exactly _talk_ about it.”, she said.

“Why not?”, he asked.

“Partially because I don’t wanna upset you.”, she said.

“Em, this is a family we could have that we are talking about. I’d like it if you spoke to me about it. Not forcing you or telling you that you have to but I’d like to be a part of that...”, he said.

“Okay... okay.”, Emily said, nodding. “I think about if we’d have a boy or a girl and who it would look like more. If it would have your eyes or my dimples. Whose nose it would have which I hope would be yours because if it got mine...”, she laughed. “I wonder what its smile and laugh would be like. I’d wanna see Jack be a protective older brother especially if it was a girl and I know she’d be a _daddy’s girl_ who would get a lot of onesies that said, “ _Daddy’s little princess_ ” on it.”, they both laughed. “I think about Garcia wanting to babysit every night even when we aren’t going out just because she’d wanna spend time with her and Jack whenever he’s over. I imagine this perfect family we could have but I know not all of it would be that perfect. But I still want what we could have. Even if it means both of us taking some time off work. I never really felt like I had a complete, wholesome family. We were never close and I didn’t have a sibling. I hardly even saw any cousins and I want _our_ family to be different than that. I’d want Sean to be part of it and the team and Jack _of course._.. and have you and I be involved instead of how my mother was with me. I don’t know... I just want to be happy. I want to have a happy family. Is any of that unrealistic?”, she said.

“No. None of it is. And by the way... I want a girl too.”, he whispered and smiled.

“How am I supposed to know when I’m ready? I mean, I look at JJ and think that could have been me in a couple months... and that makes me sad because I wish it was because I think we could have done it. I just don’t know if we _should_ have.”, she said.

“I know, Em. And I _know_ we could have done it and I would have _loved_ to but you made the right decision for you. We can wait. It’s okay.”, he said, taking her hand on the table. She nodded her head and squeezed his hand. “Also, I’d love all those things and I think about some of them too.”

“Did I bum you out at all?”, she asked.

“Quite the opposite. I like knowing that you’re thinking about this stuff especially with me being a part of it.”, he said.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever been able to picture all of that with.”, she said. 

Soon after they finished their sandwiches, they walked back to the waiting room and saw the whole team there. 

“Any news?”, Emily asked them.

“Nothing yet. Where were you guys?”, Spencer asked.

“Just grabbed some food in the cafeteria. When we left her room, the doctor came in and she was about to start pushing so it should be anytime now I think.”, Hotch said.

They all waited for another 30 minutes until Will came out and they all stood up. 

“Well?!”, Emily asked.

“It’s a boy.”, Will said holding back tears even though they could tell he’d already been crying. 

“Oh my god! Congratulations!”, Emily said, giving him a big hug before everyone else joined in. “We always referred to him as a boy, hoping it would be one, so good thing it is.”, Will laughed. 

“When can we see them?”, Garcia asked.

“Right now.”, Will said, leading them back to JJ’s room.

They walked in to find JJ sitting up, holding her new son, swaddled in his blanket.

“Ohhhhh look at him!”, Garcia whispered. 

“Hey, guys.”, JJ whispered.

“How is it possible to look this good after having just given birth?”, Garcia asked.

“Believe me, I’ve had better hair days.”, JJ laughed. 

“You look beautiful.”, Will said, standing off to the side, allowing everyone to get a good look at their baby.

“You got a name yet?”, Derek asked.

“Henry.”, JJ said. 

“Oh, Henry! Can I hold him?”, Garcia asked.

“Yeah.”, JJ said, passing Henry to Garcia. 

“Hey there.”, Garcia rubbed her finger on his chest. “I just wanna kiss him all over. He’s precious. Alright who’s next? Who’s gonna give me another little niece or nephew?”, Garcia asked, looking over at Emily.

“I don’t know. Might be JJ again before me.”, Emily tried to laugh.

Everybody took a turn holding Henry until they decided to let JJ get some rest.

“You gotta go back to your mommy now but we’ll see you soon.”, Spencer smiled at Henry before handing him back to JJ. 

“We’ll let you guys get some rest now.”, Rossi said, walking out with everybody else.

“Wait, Emily, Aaron.”, JJ said. They both turned around and walked back inside. “We wanted a few minutes alone with you guys. Do you want to hold him? You didn’t get a chance to.”, she asked Hotch.

“I’d love to.”, he said, taking Henry in his arms.

“We decided on a middle name...”, Will said.

“Oh yeah?”, Hotch said, smiling down at Henry stroking his chest with his finger. 

“His full name is Henry Aaron LaMontagne.”, JJ said.

“What?”, Hotch looked up.

“Really?”, Emily grinned.

“You named him after me?”, Hotch asked.

“It fit well, it’s a strong name, not to mention that you share the same birthday and selflessly drove me here and stayed with me when I was scared and you’re one of the most important people in our life... it made sense.”, JJ smiled.

“Looks like we got the same name _and_ birthday, huh?”, Hotch said to Henry and chuckled.

“Turned out to be a pretty good birthday.”, Emily said, tucking Henry in the blanket he was swaddled in more. 

JJ watched them with Henry and smiled at Will. “Look at them.”, she whispered.

“I know. They’re gonna be great parents.”, Will whispered back.

“Em, do you want a turn?”, JJ asked.

“Of course.”, she said as Hotch handed him over to her. “Oh my god. Look at the little yawn.”

“Isn’t it the cutest? Ah I’m thinking about when Jack was born... he’d always do that little thing with his mouth.”, Hotch said, stroking Henry’s cheek.

“There was one more reason why we wanted you guys to stay.”, JJ said, looking up at Will.

“What’s that?”, Emily asked.

“We were wondering if you both would be Henry’s godparents.”, JJ said.

“ _What?_ ”, Emily asked.

“You guys are like family to us and already take care of Jack so you know how to raise a kid. You live together. We know how much you care about Henry already... so... would you?”, Will asked.

Hotch and Emily looked at each other and back down at Henry in her arms before looking back at each other and smiling. 

“Yes.”, Hotch said.

“Of course.”, Emily smiled, tearing up.

“Oh thank god. You were our number one choice and if you said _no_...”, JJ said.

“We’re honored.”, Hotch said.

“Thank you.”, Will said.

“We should probably let you both get some rest.”, Emily said, handing Henry back after a few minutes.

“Thank you... for everything.”, JJ said to them. “And happy birthday, Aaron.”

“Thanks, JJ. Happy birthday to Henry too and... congratulations.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around Emily. 

They smiled and walked out, making sure none of the team was in the waiting room. They walked out of the hospital and started towards the car but Hotch stopped first. He held Emily’s face and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close in.

“You’re okay with all of that, right?”, he asked her.

“Definitely.”, she smiled, holding him.

“Good.”, he said, bringing her lips to his. “This turned out to be a better birthday than I would’ve thought.”

“I’m glad. But it’s not over yet. I still have a few surprises for you back home.”, she said.

“Well let’s go.”, he grinned, taking her hand and running to the car.

Once they got back home, Emily ran to their room and grabbed his gifts. She came back out to the living room and sat on the couch with him.

“Open this first.”, she said, handing him a small box. He opened it to find a red tie.

“Your favorite color on me.”, he smiled.

“Mmhmm. You should wear it tomorrow.”, she said.

“I will. Thank you.”, he said, leaning in for a kiss.

“Okay, now this.”, she said, handing him a bag. He pulled out the bottle of scotch and his jaw dropped. 

“Em, this is a really nice bottle of scotch...”, he said.

“Aaron. Just. Accept. It.”, she kissed him.

“Alright, alright. You mentioned there was one other surprise?”, he said.

“Yes. Stay right here.”, she said, getting up and going into their room. 

She went into the closet and found the new outfit she’d gotten for Hotch. She went to the bathroom to put it on so she could look in the mirror and fix her hair. Once she changed out of her jeans and t shirt she put on the black lace thong that was tan and practically see through at the top. Next she grabbed her black lace corset, also practically see through in parts with tan outlining around the breasts. She was very pleased with how it all went together once slipped on her black satin kimono robe over it. 

She fixed her hair and walked out to the bed room and found a lighter, lighting some candles around the room. She walked over to the door and opened it, expecting Hotch to look up right away but he didn’t. She leaned against the doorway with her arm up along it as well. She stared at him on his phone.

“Aaron.”, she whispered. He didn’t reply or look up. “Aaron.”, she said again.

“Hold on, hun. I just gotta finish sendin-“, he started.

“Aaron!”, she said, a bit snippy. 

“Em, I’m sor-“, he looked up and stopped talking, staring at her. He stood up and threw his phone on the couch, walking over to her. “What’s under _there?_ ”, he smirked, holding onto her by the waist.

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him, backing up in their room as he kicked the door closed. “One more present for you to unwrap.”, she said, pulling his face into hers by the back of his neck and softly kissed him. “Let’s get rid of this first though.”, she said, pulling his shirt over his head and running her hands up his chest, kissing him again. 

He reached for the tie on her robe and slowly undid it, letting it hang open, revealing the corset and thong she was wearing. When he looked down, his jaw dropped and he bit his lip. He grabbed her waist and pulled her to him so their bodies were pressed to each other. 

“Why have I never seen this before?”, he asked, kissing behind her ear.

“I got it just for you.”, she said, holding onto the back of his neck.

“Just for me, huh?”, he asked. She could feel him smile, moving his lips down to along her jaw.

“Just for you.”, she repeated. 

“Fuck.”, he breathed.

She pulled back and slowly took her robe off in a way that seemed to him like she was teasing. The way she moved it off each shoulder at a time and slid it off one arm before the next. She let it fall to the floor and stepped forward to him. Grabbing the waistband of his jeans, she yanked him close, unbuttoning and unzipping them. She shot to the ground, pulling his pants down with her. She began to tug on his boxers but he grabbed her hand, stopping it. 

“No, no. Not tonight. Tonight... I need _you_.”, he said, pulling her back up and stepping out of his pants and kicking them off to the side. He grabbed her ass with both hands and pulled her close again, squeezing her right as he placed his lips on hers. She hooked her arms around his neck and he squeezed her tighter, adding more tongue until he started kissing his way down to her neck and sucking on it. 

“Mmmm.”, Emily moaned.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.”, Hotch said, nipping at her skin, making her whimper. He reached for the back of the corset and began undoing each clasp that was holding it together. Once they were all unhooked, he slid it off and dropped it. Before she knew it, he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist while he held onto one and climbed on the bed, lowering her down with him on top. 

He began grinding on her hard, causing them both to moan. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he went for her thong and slid it off before doing the same with his boxers. He got in between her legs and grabbed his hard length that was throbbing, needing attention. He ran it along her wet folds making her shudder. 

“Shit, so wet for me already.”, he breathed.

“Yes.”, she exhaled.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”, he smirked.

“Fuck me.”, she whispered in his ear and biting it when she pulled his head down. 

He lined himself up with her entrance and slid in a little bit before pulling out, not quite all the way and going in further, repeating the same thing until he was as deep in as he could be. He threw his head back and stayed still for a moment. 

“Ohhhhhh.”, he moaned, grabbing ahold of both of her breasts.

“Honey... I need you to fuck me.”, she whispered, bringing his attention back to her.

“Sorry, hun. God, you just- god.”, he said, coming back down to her and placing his lips on hers.

He started a slow pace and kept it that way for a while until he hit a sweet spot for Emily and she clamped down on him and gasped. “Ah yes. Right there.”, she said.

“You mean... right _here?_ ”, he asked, slamming in just the way he had a few seconds before. 

“Yes!”, she said, her breath hitching each time he did so.

Hotch kept moving the way she desired and came down to her collarbone and started leaving marks she’d have to make sure she covered up. When she moaned from it, he couldn’t help himself. He took one of her breasts in his mouth and let his tongue circle around the most important area. 

Emily ran her hands in his hair and pulled his lips up to hers. He grabbed her thighs and held her legs closer to him, pulling her in. He started pounding in and out of her fast. He could feel himself getting close.

“I’m so close babe.”, he said.

“Me too. Just keep going.”, she panted.

“Oh god. Oh god, Em. No, I- I can’t go- argh- I can’t go first. Please come for me.”, he kissed her. He brought his thumb down to her clit and started rubbing around in circles. She reacted in a way that almost made Hotch lose it completely but he used all the self control he had not to. 

“Oh my god! Ahh Aaron. Oh my- Aaron. Fuck!”, she arched her back and squeezed him inside her tight. 

“Fuck, ahhh ahhh ahhh. Em, please. I really need you to-“, he said as she let out a scream.

“Ahhh! Fuck, oh my god, Aaron, fuck. Jesus you’re so-“, she said before _he_ cut her off this time. 

“Arghh! Jesus Christ, Em! Ahhh holy _shit!_ Fuck! Oh god, you’re so good, babe. Mmmm.”, he groaned loudly, slamming in hard when he came each time until he was done. 

He collapsed on top of her and pulled out. He slid his arms under her back so he was hugging her and holding her close. She brought her hands up to his face and the back of his head while he leaned in to her lips. 

After a minute, he rolled off of her and onto his side, sliding her close to him until their bodies were touching and he still had her in his arms. He took one hand and brushed her hair out of her face and held it there, smiling at her.

“You might wanna take your makeup off before we go to bed, sweetie.”, he said.

“I will but I don’t want to get up yet.”, she said, kissing his neck. 

“How are you so perfect?”, he said.

“I’m far from it.”, she said.

“No. You are perfect. Perfect to me. And that’s all that matters.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Shut up.”, she shoved him playfully and giggled.

“So. You really got that outfit just for me?”, he raised his eyebrows.

“Just for you, honey.”, she said, stroking his hair, running her fingers through it.

“Today started out pretty shitty but it really turned around tonight. Mostly because of you... and JJ but she couldn’t really control when she went into labor.”, he chuckled. “But... thank you.”, he said, drawing small circles on her back.

“Always.”, she said, looking deep in his eyes. “Happy birthday, Aaron.”, her tone of voice becoming more serious and slow but genuine and meaningful.

“Thank you, Em.”, he smiled and gave her a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”, she said.

After holding each other for a while, Emily went to go take her makeup off and they both brushed their teeth before getting back in bed and falling asleep in each other’s arms.

The next morning, Hotch woke up to a phone ringing. Without moving the rest of his body or opening his eyes, too tired from the previous night’s activities, he picked up the phone.

“Hotchner.”, he said.

“Aaron?”

He pulled the phone back and saw Will’s name for the contact I.D. but it was JJ’s voice.

“JJ?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Where’s Emily?”, she asked.

“Right next to me, asleep. Why? Did you wanna talk to her?”, he asked.

“Well... yeah... that’s why I called her phone.”, she laughed.

“What?”, he asked.

“This is Emily’s phone that I called.”, she said.

“Why is it on my side? Where is my phone?”, he asked quietly.

“I don’t know but speaking of phones... I think I left mine in your car last night and I was wondering if-“, JJ said.

“We’ll bring it by before work.”, Hotch said.

“Thank you.”, JJ said.

“How’s Henry? And you, of course.”, he said.

“I actually got some sleep but apparently once we go home, that won’t last for long.”, she laughed. 

“No, no it does not, sadly but if you need us to help out at all...”, he said.

“I will. By the way, you might wanna make sure you have the right phone in your hand before you pick it up because if I were anybody else from work calling Emily and heard you answer...”, she said.

“Yeah. Probably a good idea.”, he chuckled.

“Mmm who is it?”, Emily grumbled, just having woken up. 

“It’s JJ.”, he said. All of a sudden, Emily’s eyes shot open and she sat up in bed, grabbing her phone from Hotch’s hand. “Wha- _excuse me!_ ”, he said.

“It’s my phone anyways.”, she said, kicking him. 

“Don’t start.”, he said, trying to hold back a smile.

“How are you feeling? How’s Henry?”, Emily asked.

“We’re good, we’re good. Not as tired as I thought we would be... for now.”, JJ said.

“If you need _any_ help with _anything_ , you come to us, okay?”, Emily said.

“Yeah, Aaron already let me know that. Thank you.”, JJ said.

“He did? Usually he’s not very friendly in the mornings, as you’ve witnessed.”, Emily said.

“Alright, listen... I don’t get a lot of sleep. I like to take advantage of it.”, he said.

“Last night you didn’t.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh, how’d _last night_ go?”, JJ asked and Emily could practically hear her smirking.

“Let’s just say he enjoyed all the presents he got to unwrap.”, Emily laughed.

“Em!”, he said.

“Gotcha, well I’ll see you in an hour or less or whenever you guys get here. I left my phone in his car so.”, JJ said.

“Oh, okay. Oh yay! Will Henry be up?”, Emily asked.

“Looks like it.”, JJ said.

“Good! Alright, we’ll get dressed now and head by.”, Emily said.

“Great, thank you so much.”, JJ said.

“Of course, bye.”, Emily hung up.

“Where’s my phone?”, Hotch asked.

“I’m pretty sure it’s still on the couch. You know, where you threw it once you saw me in that robe and the-“, she moved in closer to him and he felt her breath on his skin.

“No, no. Be quiet. You can’t get me all riled up right now.”, he laughed, grabbing his boxers and putting them on before he walked out to the living room and grabbed his own phone. He came back to their bed and looked at her. “You really gotta stop talking about our sex life with her, you know.”, he said.

“I didn’t go into detail! I barely said anything! I didn’t even say the word, sex.”, she said.

“You don’t have to to know what you’re talking about.”, he said.

“Alright. Fine. You win.”, she said.

“Good. Now let’s get ready and go see Henry!”, he said.

“Can you believe they chose us to be godparents?”, she asked.

“Yes, actually. They see us as good potential parents. Now, I know you’re not Jack’s mother, obviously but you do help take care of him and help parent him. And I’m his father and we live together and they trust us. We would be ideal guardians for Henry if god forbid something were to ever happen to them.”, he said.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just kind of hard to believe. But it makes me feel honored that they would trust us with that.”, she said.

“It’s a good feeling, huh?”, he said.

“It really is but I hope we never have to do that.”, she said.

“I know. Me too. But we can be the cool aunt and uncle figures in his life. Just wait till you hear Henry call us _Aunt Emily_ and _Uncle Aaron_.”, he chuckled.

“Oh my god, that’s gonna be so cute.”, she said.

“It is.”, he said.

“Can we take a quick shower before we go?”, she asked.

“Yes, please.”, he said.

She got out of bed and they hopped in the shower before getting ready to go see JJ and Henry in the hospital again. 

“Why hasn’t Rossi said anything to us?”, she asked once they were in the car.

“Because he minds his own business unless you bring something up or reach out. I don’t know. That’s just how he is.”, he said.

“Should we maybe talk to him?”, she asked.

“Not yet. Let’s just see how things go for a while.”, he said.

“Alright...”, she said.

“But... if you want... maybe we can talk to him soon...”, he said

“Really?”, she asked.

“I trust him. Do you?”, he asked.

“Yeah. I mean he’s kind of like a father figure to me in a way.”, she said.

“Then... talk to him if you want.”, he said.

“Okay. I’ll think about it. I wonder if anyone else is skeptical...”, she said.

  
  



	71. Matthew

  
  


**Chapter 71**

  
  
  


***this chapter is based on the episode “demonology” but obviously has quite a few changes.***

  
  
  


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After a few weeks, everything in life was good. Emily and Hotch felt happy. They felt good. They felt normal. They’d been going over multiple times a week to see JJ and Will and Henry. Emily started to get baby fever whenever they were over. Helping rock Henry to sleep, playing with him and making him giggle, feeding him, even changing his diapers made her wish she got to do it all everyday with her own. Hotch couldn’t help but notice, making him feel the same way as her. She knew there would be a right time and just waited till that moment came. 

The one thing she wasn’t too excited about for whenever it happened was the sleep deprivation, all the exhaustion. Her and Hotch both stayed up later at JJ and Will’s helping out later than they normally would in general. So, one morning, they both had a hard time getting out of bed especially with it being a Monday. 

The alarm clock went off and Emily silenced it almost immediately. She rolled over to Hotch with her eyes still closed and tapped his shoulder. He was laying on his stomach and buried his face in his pillow.

“We gotta get up.”, she said.

“Ughhh.”, he mumbled.

“Okay. Maybe just 5 more minutes.”, she said, almost drifting off to sleep when she got a text . “Nevermind then.”, she reached for her phone and laid back down. Once she looked at it, she sat right up. “What the-“, she whispered.

“Hm? What is it?”, he asked. When she was silent, he sat up next to her and rubbed his eyes. “Em.”

“Sorry. It’s just... an old... friend I guess. He says he needs to talk to me. That it’s something important.”, she said.

“Oh? Did he say what?”, he asked.

“No. He just said it’s important. I haven’t seen him since we were... oh god, I guess 15. I’ve barely spoken to him in between then. We didn’t exactly get along all the time, I guess you could say. I don’t know... maybe I shouldn’t go.”, she said.

“Em. It’s been years. If he’s reaching out now and says it’s something important, maybe you should go.”, he said.

“You think?”, she asked.

“I mean I don’t know anything about him or the situation but if someone from my past that long ago, contacted me and needed to meet... yeah, I’d go.”, he said.

“You’re right, you’re right. Okay. I’ll text him back.”, she said. Almost immediately after she messaged him back, he asked if later that night worked. She agreed and set the phone down. 

“So tonight. You thinking of just going after work?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, I guess so.”, she said.

“Why don’t you just take your car to work today. We’ll drive separate and meet back at

home tonight?”, he said.

“Okay... yeah. That uh- sounds good.”, she said, starting to feel an anxiety attack coming on. She tried to stop it before it got too far but failed. She pulled her knees up to her chest and stayed still. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath

“Em, are you alright?”, he asked, bringing his hand to her back. She flinched at first but was fine right after other than the fact that she was shaking. 

“I- “, she started but couldn’t get anything out.

“Honey, you’re shaking. Are you having an anxiety attack?”, he asked. She nodded her head. “What do you need?”, he asked.

“Hold me?”, she said, voice cracking.

“Come here.”, he said, scooting behind her and resting against the headboard. He pulled her back to him and in between his legs, up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tight and dropped his head over her shoulder, kissing her neck. “What is it this time?”, he asked.

“Him texting me.”, she said.

“Was it what he said or the fact that he texted you?”, he asked.

“I think it was him texting me.”, she said, gripping his hands.

“Do you know why?”, he asked.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”, he asked.

“No.”, she started sobbing. “I’m sorry.”, she said, leaning back into him.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You don’t have to. I’m here if you want to though.”, he said, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.

She nodded against his chest and couldn’t stop crying and shaking. He rubbed her arm and squeezed her tight. 

“I know what I said but maybe you _shouldn’t_ go see him if it’s causing this much anxiety.”, he said.

“No. You were right. He wouldn’t reach out unless it was something important. I just-“, she started crying more.

“ _Honey_. I hate seeing you like this.”, he said, nuzzling his head next to hers.

She shifted her body to have her side leaning into his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He rested his chin on her head and told her, “I’m right here, hun. You’re okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.”, she sniffled. Once she finally calmed down, she scooted out of his arms and grabbed his face. “Thank you for being there for me.”, she said, kissing him. 

“Honey, I’m always here.”, he said.

“I know but still.”, she said, stroking his face.

He kissed her and helped her out of bed. After making breakfast for her and getting ready, they headed to work in separate cars. It felt like one of the longest days Emily had ever had. When it was finally time for her to leave, she went to Hotch’s office and closed the door, seeing as how there were still other people there.

“Hey. I’m heading out now.”, she said.

He got up from his desk and went over to her. “Okay. Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”, he asked, holding her hands.

“Yeah.”, she nodded. “I need to know what’s going on and I haven’t spoken to him in so long and... I need to go.”, she said.

“Okay. You call me if anything happens, alright?”, he said.

“I promise.”, she nodded as he stroked her hands. 

“Good. I love you. I’ll be staying here a little late, finishing up some of those reports but I’ll be home not too late.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she nodded, dropping her head.

“Hey...”, he said, lifting her chin and staring deep in her eyes.

“I love you too.”, she said, allowing him to guide her lips to his. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home.”

“Okay, hun. Drive safe.”, he said.

“I will.”, she said, squeezing his hands once more before releasing them and walking out of his office. 

She drove to the bar and parked out front. When she walked inside, it wasn’t hard to spot her old “ _friend_ ” she was meeting, John Cooley. It was almost completely empty inside and she considered getting a drink herself but figured she needed to stay sober and level headed for whatever conversation they were about to have. 

She was about to turn around and leave once she felt her anxiety creeping up. But walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder before she could think twice about it. He turned around with a big smile but sadness in his eyes and she could tell it wasn’t good news he had.

“Emily. Hey. You made it.”, John said. Before he could reach for a hug she sat down next to him at the bar. 

“You said it was important.”, she said.

“It’s good to see you.”, he said.

“Listen, last time we saw each other, it wasn’t... good. This isn’t exactly the first place I’d choose to be at tonight. Can you just tell me what’s going on?”, she said.

“Um... it’s about Matthew.”, he said.

“Okay. What about him?”, she asked, ready to leave.

“He’s dead, Emily.”, he said.

She took a moment and paused before she could find any words. “What...?”, she asked.

“I know I’m one of the last people you want to see and I’m sorry I dragged you out here tonight but... I couldn’t tell you over the phone.”, he said.

“Wha- how? How did he- what?”, she asked, holding back tears.

“They’re saying it was a heart attack but I saw him recently and...”, he started.

“And what?”, she asked.

“He mentioned that someone was gonna kill him and they’ve done it with someone else named Tommy V. They made it look like an accident.”, he said.

“What? Who? And who’s Tommy V?”, she asked.

“I don’t know but I was hoping you could check it out with what you do for a living now and all.”, he said.

“Yeah... okay... I’ll uh- okay.”, she said getting up. 

“Emily... I’m really sorry.”, he said.

“I’ll call right now and have them pull a file on him... and I’ll check back in with you later...”, she said slowly and completely withdrawn from any emotion, not even making eye contact with him. 

She called Garcia from the car and had her pull up any information she could on Tommy V’s death. Once she got back to the BAU, everyone was gone except her and Hotch. She grabbed the files from Garcia and headed to Hotch’s office.

She stepped in the door way and didn’t even walk up to the desk, standing still in place. Hotch’s back was facing her at first while he was putting things away and taking them off a shelf. Once he heard her sniffle, he turned around.

“Em. What are you-“, he started until he saw her hair and clothes soaking wet along with the tears in her eyes. “Honey, what happened?”, he asked walking over to the blinds and shutting them, along with the door and locking it. “Are you okay?”, he went up to her and put his hand on her face and the other on her side. She looked down and let a tear fall. “Em. Talk to me.”

“I guess a friend of mine died...”, she said, looking back up at him.

“Oh... sweetie... I’m so sorry.”, he said, pulling her in for a hug. He placed his hand on her back and the other on the back of her head, holding her close. It took her a moment before she wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“Honey, don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re allowed to cry. Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked.

She pulled back and he pulled some tissues out of his pocket, wiping her tears off her face. She held onto his arms and nodded. He took her hands and walked her over to the couch he had in his office. He held onto them and tucked her hair behind her ear, stroking her cheek a few times.

“So what happened?”, he asked.

“I had Garcia pull this for me.”, she said, holding up a file that he took. He opened it and looked it over. 

“This was your friend?”, he asked.

“No. This was the man who my friend said was murdered.”, she said.

“It says the cause of death was of natural causes, there’s no foul play.”, he said, flipping through the files.

“I know but Matthew-“, she swallowed at his name, choking back tears, “Matthew said that someone killed him. That they made it look like an accident and they were coming after him next.”, she said.

“Em... it looks like natural causes.”, he said.

“Aaron, Matthew had a lot of issues but I believe that he knew something was wrong.”, she said.

He sighed and looked down at the file again before back up at her. “What do you need?”, he asked.

“I need to find out what happened to him...”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Really?”, she said.

“If something feels off to you about it... I trust you. That’s me saying it as your boss.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“But as your _boyfriend_... what do you need from me?”, he asked.

“Just you being here with me.”, she said, tearing up again. 

“Of course. I’m right here, sweetie.”, he said, pulling her in for a hug. 

“Can we go home?”, she asked.

“Yes. Let me pack up my stuff. Are you okay to drive? Do you wanna leave your car here tonight and ride home with me?”, he asked.

She nodded and he helped her up, grabbing his things and walking out of his office together but keeping their distance in case Garcia was still there. The whole ride home, Emily was silent but Hotch reached over for her hand and didn’t let it go until they got home. 

They walked inside and set their stuff down. She got changed out of her clothes and took a hot shower. When she got out, she changed into her pajamas and got straight in bed with Hotch already waiting for her in it.

“Come here, hun.”, he said, reaching his arm out for her as she scooted closer to him. He pulled her into him until their bodies were pressed to each other. She rested her head on his chest. 

“Thank you.”, she said.

“Please don’t laugh at me when I say this because I know it sounds cheesy but... I love with you all my heart. I’d do anything for you.”, he said.

“You’re right. It did sound cheesy.”, she giggled.

“Emily...”, he said.

“I’m sorry sweetie.”, she smiled and reached her head up to give him a kiss. 

“At least I made you laugh.”, he said.

“You always manage to make feel better in some way.”, she said.

“You do too.”, he smiled, pressing their foreheads to each other and he kissed her nose. “I’m really sorry, Em.”

“Yeah... me too.”, she said.

“Were you guys close?”, he asked.

“Yeah. He was one of the only friends I really had at the time. He helped me through a lot then.”, she said.

“He still is. You’ve got the memory of him.”, he said.

“I know. It’s just different. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in a long time either. I feel guilty. I feel like this is all my fault.”, she said.

“No. This is not your fault. At all. It couldn’t possibly be.”, he said.

“It is though...”, she said.

“Emily. How could this possibly be your fault?”, he’s asked.

“Let’s just go to bed.”, she said, hugging him tight and resting her head on his chest again.

As confused as he was, he agreed to let it go for the night and fell asleep with her in his arms. 

The next morning, she got ready faster than Hotch and waited impatiently for him to finish getting dressed and ready to leave. Shortly after they got to work, John showed up and walked over to Emily’s desk.

“Hey.”, he said.

“John. What are you doing here?”, she asked. 

“I came by to see if I can provide any help or information. Wanted to check in on it...”, he said.

“You know something, don’t you?”, she said.

“We should talk in private.”, he said, looking all around.

“What do you-“, she started before Rossi came up to them and introduced himself to John.

“Let’s go grab a coffee?”, Rossi said.

“Um okay, sure.”, Emily said, grabbing her coat. “We’ll talk later.”, she said to John who nodded and watched her and Rossi walk out. 

Emily and Rossi got a coffee and he took her to an old abandoned house in the yard right off the street. It was silent at first. She didn’t know why he’d asked her to come out with him until he started talking.

“What are you holding back?”, Rossi asked.

“I’m sorry?”, Emily said.

“Your friend died but you’re holding something else back. What is this all tied to?”, he asked.

“You just get straight to the point, don’t you?”, she let out a nervous laugh. 

“I find it pushes people to get it out.”, he said.

“Well, I don’t-“, she started.

“Why do you feel so guilty?”, he asked.

“I don’t feel guilty.”, she said, defensively.

“Yeah. Yeah, you do. What happened?”, he asked.

“Alright... fine. I didn’t have a lot of friends back then. Matthew and John were some of the only ones I really had.”, she said.

“But you and John aren’t anymore. What happened?”, he asked.

“I just wanted to be accepted... I did some dumb things. Dumb things that teenagers do but... I just had to be one of them that faced some of the consequences for them.”, she said.

“You got pregnant.”, he said.

She took a deep breath in and exhaled, “Yeah...”

“And John was...”, he said.

“Yeah. I told Matthew and he helped me. He took me to a doctor, he walked back into church with me after I was told I wouldn’t be welcome back if I had an abortion. He was there for me. He was there for me when I felt no one else was and it made him question this religion and he got involved in drugs and acted out... He changed and... he saved me when I needed it the most and I’m so grateful for that but... if he hadn’t done that, he wouldn’t be dead right now. He wouldn’t have gone down this path and wound up in this position and... dead. I couldn’t be there for him. I couldn’t save him...”, she said.

“Why is this hitting you so hard right now? What else happened?”, he asked.

She looked all around and took a sip of her coffee before back at him. “I know you know about me and Aaron.”, she said. He nodded, not phased at all or in shock by what she said. She took another deep breath, not sure how to say it.

“You got pregnant again.”, he said. This time she couldn’t speak right away and just nodded her head, biting her lip. “What went down with that?”

“We wanted it.”, she sniffled.

“But you didn’t keep it.”, he said.

“No. I said it was unrealistic right now. I’m not ready to give up so much for that. Not yet.”, she said.

“But he felt different?”, he asked.

“He said he was willing to quit his job to be a stay at home dad.”, she laughed.

“But you didn’t want that for him.”, he said.

“Of course not. I couldn’t let him do that.”, she shook her head.

“Why not?”, he asked.

“ _Because_...”, she said. Rossi eyed her, waiting for a better response. “Because that’s not fair. I don’t want him giving everything up for something I’m not sure I even want right now.”

“Is that what you eventually _do_ want?”, he asked.

“Yeah... I do. He knows that.”, she said.

“So what’s the part that’s bothering you right now?”, he asked.

“I don’t know.”, she said.

“Does he know about John? When you were 15?”, he asked.

“No. I’ve almost told him so many times but... I just don’t know what he’ll think.”, she said.

“What are you so worried about?”, he asked.

“That he’ll see me different and see me as careless back then and that I still am now. That I lied to him about this the whole time.”, she said. 

“You don’t think he’d understand?”, he asked.

“I don’t know...”, she said.

“I’ve known him a long time. He wouldn’t do any of that. He wouldn’t think any of that. But the longer you wait, the harder it’ll be and the more it’ll eat you up inside.”, he said.

“How did you know?”, she asked.

“Which part? That you guys are in a relationship or the pregnancy?”, he asked.

“Both, I guess.”, she said.

“Like I said, I’ve known him a long time. I can tell when he’s in love. And you were really moody, running to the bathroom all the time, you took a couple weeks off work... I pieced things together. I also overheard you guys talking sometimes and- listen... I don’t care. I’m glad you guys are happy but just don’t let it get in the way of your careers or have others finding out.”, he said.

“We live together. I thought for sure once we moved in, we would tell people.”, she said.

“How long?”, he asked.

“A little less than a year. But we’ve been in a relationship for a little longer than a year.”, she said.

“And how long have you two been _i_ _nvolved?_ ”, he asked.

“What?”, she asked, shocked.

“I know this has been going on a lot longer than that.”, he said.

“Shortly after I started at the BAU... we didn’t feel good about it.”, she said.

“Of course not. But you’re friends with Haley now.”, he said.

“Yeah. It’s good. It’s really good.”, she said.

“And Jack?”, he asked.

“I love Jack. He’s- he brings me so much joy. He’s one thing that helped me realize that I do want to have a family with Aaron.”, she said.

“Why won’t you tell him about the first time then? When you were 15.”, he said.

“Because what if he doesn’t take me serious when I tell him that’s what I want?”, she asked.

“You said you already told him.”, he said.

“I _did_. But after he finds out about me when I was younger, adding on this last time, what if he doesn’t believe me or take me serious?”, she said.

“Well, that doesn’t sound like him but the only way you can know for sure is to tell him. Be honest with him. He’s your biggest support, am I right?”, he said.

“Yeah. He is.”, she said.

“And you love him, don’t you?”, he asked.

“More than anything.”, she said.

“So _talk to him._ ”, he said. She nodded and held back a few tears. “Now let’s get back so we can finish this case and you can talk to him.”

“Alright.”, she sniffled as they walked back to the car. 

  
  


By the end of the day, the case was done and Emily felt like she could finally let Matthew Rest In Peace. She was walking John out of his house and over to the ambulance when Hotch came up to her.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”, she said to John and he gave her a hug before she walked away. 

“Hey. You wanna head home?”, Hotch asked.

“I think I’m gonna walk around for a while.”, she said.

“Don’t stay out too long. It’s snowing. I don’t want you to get too cold.”, he said.

“I won’t. I just need a little bit.”, she softly smiled.

“Okay, hun. Just let me know when you’re on your way home.”, he said.

“I will. I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said, walking away. 

After wandering around on the street in the snow, taking some time and space from everyone and everything, she got cold. She saw Rossi walking up to her and she laughed.

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t let me walk around all alone.”, she said.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I did.”, he laughed. 

“I’m gonna tell him tonight.”, she said looking up at the night sky.

“Oh yeah?”, he asked.

“He deserves to know the truth.”, she said.

“Good. Now let’s get you back.”, he said, patting her back as they walked off to his car. 

They drove to the BAU and she got in her car and drove home. As soon as she walked in the door, she could smell one of her favorite things coming from the kitchen.

“Aaron?”, she said.

“Hey sweetie, I made your favorite.”, he said, walking out to her with a mug.

“Hot cocoa?”, she smiled.

“With the little marshmallows too.”, he said.

“Add this to my list of reasons why I love you.”, she said, giving him a kiss.

“Okay.”, he smiled, giving her another kiss.

“I’m just gonna get changed real quick.”, she said as he followed her into the bedroom with their mugs. She came back out of the closet and hopped in bed, sitting up. He handed her the drink and she blew on it before every sip. 

“That’s really cute.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“You wearing my sweats and a tank top. One is super warm and the other is the complete opposite. But also you just look really cute in my clothes.”, he said, kissing her cheek. She didn’t smile and thought about her talk with Rossi that day. It was all she could think about. “Em. You alright?”

“I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something I’ve been wanting to and also dreading and avoiding ever since you and I started a relationship.”, she said.

“Okay...”, he said, cautiously.

“Matthew’s death hit me really hard.”, she said.

“I know, hun. But I’m right here for you, if you need anyth-“, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said, staring at him with a serious look.

“Em, you’re starting to worry me...”, he said.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to. I just wanna-“, she sighed. “I feel guilty for Matthew’s death.”

“I told you, there’s no way that’s your fault.”, he said.

“But it is...”, she said.

“I’m not-“, he started.

“I had an abortion when I was 15.”, she blurted out. She watched his eyes wide and him try to form words. “Aaron... I didn’t mean for that to just come out like that.”, she said.

“You had an abortion before?”, he asked, choked up.

“Yeah. I was 15 and we were in Italy and my group of friends was small. I was new and-“, she said.

“Was Matthew the-“, he started.

“No but he saved me. He helped me. And the time I couldn’t be there for him... he died. He started questioning everything in the Bible after that and lost touch with his faith. He turned to other things like... drugs and... if he hadn’t been there for me, he wouldn’t have gotten so lost and maybe still be here...”, she said, letting a tear fall.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”, he asked.

“Because I didn’t know how. It seemed like it was in the past until the pregnancy this time with you and I didn’t want you to feel bad. And...”, she looked down.

“What?”, he asked.

“I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t serious about us starting a family. If you knew that I’d done this twice before and wondered if I was serious when I said that I do want to have a baby with you... I- I wanted you to believe me and also... I haven’t really thought about it much over the years. It first popped up again actually, that first night you walked me to my car on one of my first days at work. That’s what I was crying about. I started to say something about it and then I stopped. I cried and you-“, she said.

“Pulled some tissues out for you and wiped your tears away. I remember. I remember thinking that night, in that moment... how badly I wanted to kiss you. And I almost did. Staring into your eyes like that... if my phone hadn’t rang, I would’ve.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah. It took everything in me not to kiss you that night.”, he said.

“Well I guess we have two confessions out of the way from that night.”, she laughed.

“Em, you’ve really been keeping that to yourself all these years?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s not like I could tell my mom. I didn’t have many friends, like I said. And telling people later on just seemed pointless.”, she said.

“Was Matthew the only one who knew?”, he asked.

“No. John knew too.”, she said.

“Was John the...”, Hotch said.

“Yeah...”, she said, lowering her head.

“Why didn’t he go with you?”, he asked.

“Because we were dumb teenagers and things didn’t seem as important then... I don’t know why exactly but he didn’t and Matthew did. Matthew-“, she started crying.

“Honey...”, he said, pulling her into him. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I kept this from you all this time.”, she cried.

“It’s okay. It’s your own personal, private story and experience. I’m glad you felt you could share it with me but I understand why you didn’t feel comfortable to, all this time. It’s okay. But it is _not_ your fault what happened to Matthew. You lost a friend. You get to feel sad but you should _not_ feel guilty. Okay?”, he said.

She nodded and he squeezed her tight, rubbing her arm. He lifted her legs over his lap and held her whole body against him, kissing her head and holding her as tight as he could while she wrapped her arms around him. He let her cry it out and didn’t let go until they were both exhausted and they fell back under the sheets. He curled up behind her and held her close, kissing her neck until they fell asleep.

  
  



	72. The Zoo

  
  
  


**Chapter 72**

  
  
  
  
  
  


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The following week, Jack made a request to go to the zoo on Saturday. Even though it was Hotch and Emily’s time with him, they invited Haley and Tom to go with. 

  
  


Jack was over at Hotch and Emily’s apartment and ran out of his room and over to their bedroom, pounding on the door. 

“Can we go?”, he called out.

“Hold on. We have to get dressed.”, Hotch said.

“I’m ready.”, Emily said, slipping on her shoes and walking out the door to find Jack standing right in front, waiting for her.

“Can we go?”, he asked again.

“Your daddy is still getting dressed but let’s get you a jacket.”, she said, walking into his room. 

“I like the blue one.”, he said.

“It’s not very warm.”, she told him.

“But I like it.”, he pouted.

“You’re gonna be cold if you wear it.”, she said.

“I wanna wear it.”, he said.

“ _Okay_. But I’m bringing you another one just in case you need it.”, she said, handing him the thin blue jacket he wanted.

“Are we gonna see the lions?”, he asked.

“Yep. And the tigers and the bears, and the monkeys and the polar bears and elephants and the giraffes and everything else!”, she said, watching him jump up and down with excitement. She picked him up and gave him a big squeeze while they walked over to the bedroom door and knocked again. “Tell him to hurry up.”

Jack banged on the door. “Daddy! Hurry up!”, he said. Emily giggled and put her hand up for a high and he smacked it. 

Hotch opened the door and looked at them. “ _Really?_ Are we in some kind of a rush here?”, he asked.

“We told Haley and Tom that we’d meet them there in 20 minutes.”, she said.

“We’ll be there. It’s fine.”, he said, giving Jack a kiss on the forehead and Emily on the lips right after. “Jack, you need a warmer jacket.”

“No!”, Jack scrunched up his face and gave Hotch an angry look.

“ _What?_ ”, Hotch asked, surprised and ready to tell him not to take that tone with him.

“It’s fine. I told him he can wear it and I’d bring a warmer one in case he gets cold. That way, if he does, he’ll learn his lesson _and_ he’ll be warmer.”, she said.

“Alright. Fine.”, he sighed.

“Hey, why don’t you go potty before we leave?”, she asked Jack and set him down for him to run to the bathroom. 

“Hey, are you really upset that he said _no_ to you?”, she chuckled and rubbed his shoulder.

“We always get along. I’ve never had this problem with him but lately he’s got this attitude with me.”, he said.

“Aaron, he’s 3. All kids get a bit of attitude around now.”, she laughed. “He loves you.”

“Yeah, well he loves you too but he doesn’t talk to _you_ like that.”, he said.

“That’s because I’m not his parent. He doesn’t see me as the person who can punish him and has authority over him. I’m just the fun adult in the house.”, she said and saw him furrow his eyebrows. “Not that you aren’t fun! It’s just- I’m not gonna come back from that, am I?”, she dropped her head.

“What do you mean you’re not his parent? He _sees_ you as a parent.”, he said.

“ _What?_ ”, she asked, bringing her head back up.

“You _are_ like a parent to him. Sure, you’re not his _mother_ , but... he doesn’t just see you as my _special friend_ anymore.”, he said.

“No. I don’t think he sees me like that.”, she said.

“Emily, you play with him all the time and make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You pick him up and drop him off at school when you can. He makes you things in art class like that macaroni necklace and draws you in family pictures. You help give him baths and change his clothes. You tuck him in at night and read him bedtime stories. You bring him into bed with us when he’s had a nightmare and cuddle with him. You’re there when he’s sick and... I could go on but bottom line... you are a parent to him and I know that’s how he sees you... does that freak you out or something?”, he asked.

“No. Not at all. If anything... it’s quite the opposite.”, she smiled. “I just didn’t feel like I saw myself as that. Especially because there are some things we haven’t exactly talked about.”, she said.

“Like what?”, he asked.

“Like discipline is one. I don’t really know where I stand with that. Do I leave it all up to you or do I put him in timeout when he’s done something wrong and you’re not here or...?”, she said as Jack came running out of the bathroom up to Emily and had her pick him up.

“Why don’t we talk about that later?”, he asked.

“Okay.”, she said. “Alright, you ready to go see the lions?”, she asked Jack.

“Yeah!”, he said.

“Alright, let’s go!”, she said, picking up her bag with snacks and water bottles for all of them along with Jack’s jacket.

When they got to the zoo, Hotch took Jack out of his car seat and tried to pick him up but he reached for Emily instead. She grabbed him and propped him up on her side, giving Hotch an apologetic look when she noticed him upset. She rubbed his back as they walked through the parking lot and up to the entrance to pay. 

“Haley said they were gonna meet us out front, right?”, she asked.

“Yeah, they should be here any minute.”, he said.

Only a few seconds later Jack squirmed out of Emily’s arms and set him down once he saw Haley and ran up to her.

“Hey, sweetie!”, Haley said, giving him a kiss. 

“Hey, buddy.”, Tom said, holding up his hand for a high five which Jack slapped as hard as he could.

“I hope you guys haven’t been waiting here for too long.”, Haley said.

“No. We just got here actually.”, Emily said.

“Oh good.”, Haley said.

“Mommy, can we go see the lions?”, Jack asked.

“He’s been talking about them _all_ morning.”, Emily laughed. 

“Well then I guess we have to, huh?”, Haley said.

They paid the admission and went in. Hotch hung back with Tom as they chatted while Emily and Haley walked ahead with Jack. 

“What’s wrong with Aaron?”, Haley asked.

“He’s kind of upset about Jack’s attitude towards him lately.”, Emily said.

“Oh? What’s he doing?”, Haley asked.

“He’s just been a little more clingy with me than Aaron and when he asked Jack to put on a different jacket he had a little attitude with his answer.”, Emily said.

“Oh. Well, that’s normal. You know, kids go through phases where they gravitate towards one parent or whatever more than the other but it’s only temporary. He’s only 3.”, Haley said.

“That’s basically what I tried to tell him.”, Emily said.

“And? What’d he say?”, Haley asked.

“He still feels a little... hurt... uneasy? He went to unbuckle Jack from his car seat when we got here but he wanted _me_ to pick him up instead of Aaron. I feel really bad.”, Emily said.

“It might just be a female thing. Little kids find comfort with females. Sometimes they see us as more loving and nurturing and-“, Haley said.

“But Aaron is _very_ loving and nurturing with him.”, Emily said.

“I know but he also watches movies with him and plays with him at the park and does fun _dad_ stuff. When he has a nightmare and comes to sleep in your bed, who’s the one that cuddles with Jack the most or at least who does he cuddle up next to the most?”, Haley asked.

“Me.”, Emily said.

“Exactly. It’s this maternal type of... I can’t think of the right word but he finds more comfort with things like that in you and me.”, Haley said.

“I think it’s really upsetting Aaron though.”, Emily said. 

“Yeah... I could see why it would.”, Haley said.

Emily bent down and looked back at Hotch and Tom talking, far enough where they couldn’t hear them.

“Hey, Jack. When we go look at the lions, can you ask your daddy to pick you up to see them instead of me or your mommy?”, Emily asked.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because your daddy misses hugs from you and I think it would make him very happy if you had him pick you up instead of us.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said. 

“Great. We’re almost at the lions!”, she said.

When they got to them, Hotch and Tom finally caught up and Emily gave Jack a look, letting him know to go to Hotch. He ran over and tugged on his jeans. 

“Hey, buddy. What is it?”, Hotch asked. Jack reached his arms up and jumped. “You want me to pick you up?”, Hotch asked, surprised and Jack nodded his head. He picked him up and set his feet on the railing, holding him but Jack turned around and wrapped his arms around Hotch’s neck. He held him close and looked over at Emily and Haley and smiled big. Emily smiled back at him and rubbed his shoulder. 

“I told you.”, she whispered.

He rubbed Jack’s back before standing him up against the railing and showing him the lions he had been waiting all day to see.

“Can we get one?”, he asked Hotch.

“A _lion?_ ”, Hotch chuckled.

“Yeah!”, Jack bounced.

“No. You can’t have lions as pets and they’re very dangerous and very large. We’d have no space in the apartment for it.”, he laughed. Jack pouted and Hotch caved. “How about we get you a lion from the gift shop over there?”, and Jack nodded his head as they walked towards it, leaving Emily with Haley and Tom.

“Well, good job. Looks like it worked.”, Haley said.

“I hope he doesn’t know I was behind it.”, Emily laughed.

“I’m sure he does but regardless...”, Haley said.

After a while, the three of them began to wonder what was taking Jack and Hotch so long to get back. Emily turned around once she heard a familiar giggle. She spotted Hotch holding a new lion stuffed animal and Jack holding his hand and a snow cone in his other with blue all around his mouth.

“Oh my god. Aaron.”, Emily said.

“What! He wanted a snow cone!”, he defended himself.

“You’re cleaning that up when we get home.”, she said.

“That’s fine. Just gotta wipe his mouth off.”, he said.

“So, you study behavior and are trained to be hyper vigilant. You notice tiny details nobody else does. How is it that you didn’t notice that Jack spilled and has a huge stain on his shirt?”, Haley raised an eyebrow.

“ _What?_ ”, he asked, looking down at Jack’s shirt. “Uhhh... he’s really short. How was I supposed to notice that right away?”, he asked.

“ _We_ did.”, Emily said.

“Alright, everybody is ganging up on me now. I’ll clean it off when we get home. It’s no problem.”, he said.

“You just wanted to spoil him today, didn’t you?”, Haley smiled.

“Maybe...”, Hotch said, shy.

“It’s fine. Just be prepared for the sugar crash.”, she said.

“You act like this is my first time dealing with Jack hyped up on sugar.”, he said.

“You know, I brought snacks for us all.”, Emily said.

“I’m sorry. He just really wanted a snow cone.”, he said.

“Yeah, well look at him now.”, she said, watching Jack shiver.

“You cold, buddy?”, he asked and he nodded.

“Em, did you pack-“, he started before she pulled out the extra jacket she’d packed for Jack and bent down. “Thanks.”

“See? I told you you’d be cold.”, Emily told him. She handed Hotch his snow cone while she took his jacket off and put the warmer one on. “Now, when we tell you to dress warmer, are you gonna?”, Jack nodded his head and took his snow cone back from Hotch, finishing it within a minute.

“Alright, what are we gonna go see next?”, Tom asked. 

“Giraffes?”, Jack said.

“Let’s do it.”, Haley said.

“Did you know that you can actually feed the giraffes a snack here?”, Tom said and Jack’s eyes lit up. He started running but Tom grabbed him. He picked him up and gave him a piggyback ride all the way over to the giraffes with Haley going after them. Hotch and Emily stuck with each other but kept a distance at that moment, wanting a minute alone. He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”, he said.

“Do what?”, she asked.

“Tell Jack to ask me to pick him up and to give me a hug.”, he said.

“I didn’t _tell_ him to. It was more of a reminder. I told him you miss his hugs and that you’d really like it if _you_ got to pick him up this time.”, she said.

“Well, you didn’t have to do that.”, he said.

“I’m sorry. Are you mad?”, she asked.

“No, of _course not._ It was very sweet.”, he said, kissing the side of her head again.

“Okay, good. I don’t want to overstep at all. And that thing with the jacket-“, she said.

“You were right. He learned from that and hopefully he listens now when we tell him to bring a warmer one. You did not overstep. At least he listens to one of us.”, he chuckled.

“He listens to you too. He was just being stubborn today. He didn’t do what I said at first either. You’re just used to people always following your orders and doing what you tell them to but it’s different at home than it is at work.”, she said.

“There’s still one person who doesn’t listen to me.”, he said, raising his eyebrows.

“ _I listen to you!_ At work I do. You can’t tell me what to do at home though, _but_ in case you haven’t noticed... look who’s wearing a warm sweatshirt. I finally learned my lesson from all the times you scolded me for not wearing one.”, she said.

“This may just be the first time I’ve seen you wear one of your own. That’s good because if you didn’t, you’d have to wear mine like always and I’m actually a little chilly right now anyways so...”, he said.

“Awww you are? Do you need to warm up?”, she asked.

“Maybe...”, he said with puppy dog eyes.

“Come here.”, she laughed, wrapping her arms around him and creating friction against his arms and back to warm him up while he squeezed her back. 

“Daddy!”, Jack called out.

“Coming, buddy.”, he said, rubbing Emily’s back and keeping his arm around it as they walked up to Jack.

“Whatcha got there?”, Emily asked.

“Food for the giraffes.”, he said.

“You get to feed them?”, she asked, amazed.

“Yeah, it’s a snack.”, he said, holding up a few snacks for the giraffes that he grabbed from a container by the edge of the wall that separated them and the giraffes.

“Oh, here comes one of them!”, Haley said, picking Jack up and letting him reach his hand out for the giraffe to take the snacks in his hands. He giggled when its tongue touched his hand and looked back at Haley, smiling. 

“That. That right there is part of the reason why I love being a dad. Seeing that look on his face and just how happy he is, enjoying life when he’s still so innocent. Seeing the joy that’s brought to him even just by going to the zoo for a day. It’s precious. Knowing I get to be a part of that and play a role in it... I love that.”, Hotch said to Emily. 

“Is that why you got excited before? When we had the option of that happening again?”, she asked him.

“Yeah... it’s one of the greatest feelings. I mean I love Jack more than anything. I love _you and Jack_ more than anything. And if there were to be one more little addition... I would be really happy. That great feeling would become even greater, if that’s even possible.”, he said. Once he saw her try not to frown, he took her hand. “But it’s okay. We don’t _need_ that. Just the way we have it right now is perfect. And whenever you decide that you want that if you still do, then I’m here for it.”, he said. She nodded and looked up at him with a smile that became real once Jack ran up to her.

“You need hand sanitizer?”, she asked and he nodded. She pulled the little travel size bottle out of her bag and squirted some in his hands. 

They kept walking around until they got to the monkeys. Jack started mimicking them from behind the glass, moving around and making the same sounds as them, cracking everyone up. 

“Aaron, Haley, get with Jack and stand in front by the monkeys. I wanna get a picture of you guys.”, Emily said, grabbing Hotch’s phone. The three of them gathered around with each other and smiled for the picture. “Oh, that’s really cute.”

“Okay, lemme get one of you guys.”, Haley said, pushing Emily and Hotch up to the rail with Jack as they held him in between them and smiled while he showed off his stuffed animal. “Cute!”

“I’ll send them to all of us later.”, Hotch said.

“Where are the sharks?”, Jack asked.

“There aren’t sharks here, silly.”, Emily laughed.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because sharks can’t survive in tiny spaces. They need to move around a lot. They don’t have sharks in zoos.”, she said.

“Oh.”, he looked upset. 

“But there are some big fish we can go look at.”, she said. 

“Okay!”, he said.

After they saw the fish, they went to see the bears and then the tigers and everything else until Jack got sleepy.

“Uh oh. Looks like it’s someone’s nap time.”, Haley said.

“You tired, buddy?”, Hotch asked, picking him up once Jack reached up for him. “I’ll take that as a _yes_.”

“Alright. Well, this was really fun! Emily! Next Saturday? Girls night in?”, Haley asked.

“Only if there’s wine and a cheeseboard involved.”, she smirked.

“Oh, but of course! It wouldn’t be a girls night in if there wasn’t.”, Haley laughed.

“Then, I’m in! Aaron, looks like you’ll be doing movie night with Jack.”, Emily said.

“Oh, that’s fine. We don’t need you. We can watch Pinocchio without you, huh, Jack?”, he asked and he barely nodded, closing his eyes while resting his head on Hotch’s shoulder. 

“Oh. Wow. _Real nice_. You see what I have to put up with?”, Emily asked Haley.

“Mmmhmmm.”, Haley crossed her arms.

“Once again, ganging up on me. _I see_. Hey Tom, what do you say you come over next Saturday and hang with me and Jack since the girls are too busy for us?”, Hotch said.

“Pinocchio was always one of my favorites anyways.”, he said.

“Perfect!”, he spat in their faces and they just laughed. 

They walked out to the parking lot and Haley kissed Jack goodbye as she walked off with Tom. Emily yawned and Hotch rubbed her back as they headed to his car. 

“You sleepy, hun?”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, I didn’t get great sleep last night.”, she said.

“What? How come? I thought you were the one that snores.”, he laughed.

“Well, I still don’t believe that’s true but no, you don’t.”, she said.

“Did you have a bad dream or an anxiety attack?”, he asked, setting Jack in his car seat, buckling him in, and closing the car door. He leaned against it and pulled her close. 

“I don’t know what it was. It kind of felt like anxiety but not super bad and it wasn’t an anxiety attack. It was like restlessness mixed with a bit of anxiety if that makes sense.”, she said.

“Yeah. But how come you didn’t wake me?”, he asked.

“Because it wasn’t an anxiety attack. It wasn’t anything horrible. I just couldn’t really sleep.”, she said.

“Well, next time, if that happens again, I want you to wake me up.”, he said.

“Why?”, she asked.

“Because if _you_ can’t sleep, I wanna be there for you. There’s obviously a reason. Whether you know it or not. So promise you’ll wake me up if that happens?”, he asked.

“That’s not fair. You need your rest.”, she said.

“Yeah but I need you to be okay because you need it too and maybe we can talk through it in the moment and that could help.”, he said.

“I _guess_. It might just be insomnia. I don’t know.”, she said.

“Have you... thought of maybe going to see a therapist? You have some stuff built up and maybe it’d be good to let it out and work through some of it with a professional.”, he said.

“No. I don’t need to see a therapist.”, she stated.

“You might benefit from it...”, he said.

“I don’t need to see a therapist. Why would I go see one?”, she said.

“Because you have a lot of unresolved issues. You have bad anxiety attacks and now stuff that’s keeping you up at night. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or what you need but maybe it would be helpful if you opened up to the idea of therapy.”, he said.

“I don’t need therapy!”, she snapped.

“Honey, I’m sorry, I just-“, he started.

“No... _I’m_ sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that. You’re just trying to help and I appreciate it but can we not talk about this _here?_ Can we talk about it when we’re at home?”, she asked, stroking the side of his face and back of his head while his hands were on her. 

“It’s okay. Yes, let’s just get back home and we can talk, alright?”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said, giving him a kiss and got in the car. 

On their way back home, Hotch got a phone call from Rossi. Emily picked it up and put it on speaker.

“Hey, Rossi.”, she said.

“Good, I was hoping I’d catch you while you’re together.”, he said.

“We live together and we work together. When are we _not_ together?”, Emily laughed.

“We’re just heading home from the zoo with Jack who’s napping in the backseat.”, Hotch said.

“Well, if he’s well rested later, would you guys like to come over for some dinner? I was making some for a couple friends coming by later and one of them has a kid just about Jack’s age. Thought it might be nice to, you know, get together with you guys _together_ and Jack have someone to play with.”, Rossi said.

“Ummm...”, Emily looked over at Hotch who nodded.

“Yeah, sure. What time?”, Hotch asked.

“I was thinking 7:00.”, Rossi said.

“Alright, that sounds good.”, Hotch said. 

“Great, I’ll see you then.”, Rossi said and they hung up.

“There goes our movie night.”, Emily said.

“You’d rather stay home and watch a movie with us than go over to Rossi’s freaking mansion and have some amazing dinner he cooked us? Getting a night out and being around other adults while Jack is being entertained and doesn’t have to interrupt us or make us be the ones to do that?”, Hotch asked.

“No. I’m looking forward to it. I’m just tired.”, she said.

“Why don’t we take a nap when we get home too?”, he asked.

“If I _can_.”, she said.

“How does a back rub sound?”, he asked.

“ _Amazing_.”, she said.

“Maybe that’ll help relax you.”, he said.

“We’re almost there. I can practically feel your hands on my back already.”, she laughed.

“Well, let’s get inside then.”, he said, pulling into their spot in the parking lot. “I’ll grab him.”, he said, getting out of the car.

When they walked inside the apartment, Hotch and Emily went straight to Jack’s room. She took his shoes and jacket off before Hotch laid him down in bed and pulled the sheets over him. They closed his door on the way out and walked to their bedroom, changing out of their clothes into sweats. Getting under the covers, they both sighed, laying down, exhausted. 

Emily hit his hand a few times, too tired to sit up. “Can you set the alarm for 5:00?”, she asked.

“Ughh I don’t wanna sit up.”, he said.

“So no back rub then?”, she asked.

“No, I can give you a back rub.”, he said.

“No, it’s okay. I’m too tired to sit up either. But come on, don’t be so lazy. You can reach it without sitting up.”, she said.

“Ughh fine.”, he said, extending his arm and grabbed his phone, setting his alarm for 5:00.

“Thank you.”, she said, closing her eyes.

“Can we talk later?”, he asked.

“About what?”, she asked.

“The therapy conversation we were having.”, he said.

“Sure.”, she said.

“Really?”, he asked.

“Yes. But I’m also too tired to push it. I’m laying on my back right now because I’m too tired to roll over on my side.”, she said.

“Me too. But hey, at least you’re tired.”, he said.

“Yeah, shut up so I can actually fall asleep.”, she said.

“You’re _grumpy_ when you’re tired.”, he laughed.

“Is this news to you?”, she said.

“No. Not at all. Unless you’re hiding something from me, I don’t think there’s anything I _don’t_ know about you.”, he said.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I may not be hiding stuff from you but you don’t know everything about me. You’ve still got a bit to learn.”, she said, knowing full well she _did_ have one thing she was hiding from him.

“Is _that so?_ ”, he said.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

“How do I manage to do that?”, he asked.

“You let me sleep first.”, she said.

“Alright, fine. Go to sleep. I know you need some rest. Look, there’s _one_ thing I know about you.”, he laughed.

“Be quiet.”, she laughed.

“Alright, alright. Hey, wake me up if you can’t sleep, okay?”, he said, reaching for her hand.

“I probably won’t.”, she said.

“ _Emily. Please?_ Let me be there for you.”, he said.

“It’s not something where you have to be there for me.”, she said.

“Okay but if you can’t sleep then that’s not fair that I get to.”, he said.

“Yes, it is. You need your beauty sleep.”, she laughed.

“So do you. Even though you’re beautiful no matter what.”, he said.

“Shut. Up.”, she laughed.

“Fine. Then go to sleep.”, he said.

“I’m _trying!_ ”, she said.

“Okay! I love you!”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said softly, squeezing his hand as they fell asleep.

They woke up to the alarm and Hotch turned it off fast. Emily rolled over, into his side as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head. 

“So. Did you sleep?”, he asked.

“Didn’t wake up once.”, she said.

“Good. Mmmmm. You’re so cold.”, he said, pulling her in more and rubbing her arms to warm her up.

“I don’t _feel_ cold.”, she said.

“Well, your body is. Whether you feel chilly or not, your body is cold. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm.”, he smiled, taking her hand and holding it in his, giving it a kiss.

“I know of other ways to keep me warm.”, she giggled, nuzzling her head on his chest.

“Oh yeah? What might that be?”, he asked, grinning. 

She pressed her forehead to his and put her hand on his chest, wrapped tightly in his arm. 

“Mmmm...”, she pretended to think.

“I think I might have an idea.”, he said, placing his hand on her face and his lips to hers, both of them smiling mid kiss.

“Yeah, I’d say you’re on the right track.”, she said, biting her lip.

“Good.”, he smiled, kissing her again. “I think I might even know another way.”, he smirked.

He brought his hand down under the covers and rubbed her side all the way down her thigh and brought her leg over his.

“Sadly, we can’t do _that_ right now.”, she said.

“ _Very_ sad.”, he frowned.

All of a sudden, Jack came bursting through their door and jumped on their bed. They separated from each other and he flopped down in between them. 

“Jack, you have to knock before you come in.”, Hotch said. 

“I’m hungry.”, Jack said, climbing on top of Hotch.

“Well, we are having dinner somewhat soon. Do you want a little snack for now?”, Hotch asked.

“Mmhmm.”, Jack said.

“Alright. Oh and guess who we are seeing tonight.”, Hotch said.

“Who?”, Jack asked.

“Uncle Dave. _And_ one of his friends has a kid your age who will be there so you can play with him tonight.”, Hotch said.

“Yay!”, Jack said, bouncing up and down on the bed.

“But for now, how about some crackers?”, Hotch asked and Jack nodded his head. “Em, do you want anything?”

“No, I’m good. I’ll just wait until dinner.”, she said.

“Alright. Let’s grab you a snack.”, Hotch said, picking up Jack and walking out to the kitchen.

A couple hours later, they all headed over to Rossi’s house for dinner. Before they could ring the doorbell when they arrived, Jack knocked on the door. Somehow it was loud enough for Rossi to hear and he opened it, greeting them. They came inside and saw two other men, one with a little boy Jack’s age. 

“I haven’t seen you two _together_ yet.”, Rossi said, walking them into the kitchen.

“Still in shock?”, Emily laughed.

“No, I wasn’t even in shock when I found out. I wouldn’t have predicted that you wound up together but I’m not surprised. And... very cute couple.”, Rossi winked.

“Sorry we didn’t tell you before, it’s just-“, Hotch started.

“I get it. I don’t butt in for a reason. That’s your own stuff. I’m just glad you finally told me. It was hard not saying anything to you guys for so long.”, Rossi laughed. 

“How long have you known?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t even know but... a while.”, Rossi said.

“Are we that bad at hiding it?”, she asked.

“No. I’m just that good.”, Rossi laughed.

“That’s what Aaron said before.”, she said.

“We know each other well. Here, I’d like you to meet Dan and that’s Ryan over there playing with-“, Rossi said.

“My son, Adam. It’s nice to meet you guys.”, Dan said, shaking Emily and Hotch’s hands.

“You too.”, they said.

“Jack.”, Rossi said, waiting for him to run up so he could pick him up. “Guess what I made for you and Adam over there?”

“What?”, Jack asked.

“Macaroni... and cheese.”, Rossi said.

“I want some, I want some!”, Jack said.

“It’s homemade and I put extra cheese in for you. It’s the cheesiest one you’ll ever have.”, Rossi said, getting Jack more excited.

“Oh look who it is. Adam come here.”, Dan said while Rossi set Jack back down. “This is Jack. Why don’t you guys go play with each other?”

“Okay.”, Adam said, running with Jack out to the backyard. 

“So you guys are living together.”, Rossi said, sipping his scotch and pouring one for Hotch.

“Yep. Close to a year now.”, Hotch said, putting his hand on the small of Emily’s back.

“You guys have seriously managed to keep this from everyone from the very beginning?”, Rossi said.

“Honestly, I thought either we would’ve told people by now or they would’ve found out.”, Emily said.

“Well Strauss almost caught us that one time, remember?”, Hotch said.

“Oh my god. That was hilarious.”, she said, slapping her hand over mouth, holding back a laugh.

“No. No, it wasn’t.”, he told her. He took a sip of his drink and looked at Rossi. “We were at the grocery store after work one night and thank god she wasn’t by my side at the moment. She needed me to get her some... feminine products while she went to grab some food for dinner. _Well_... as I go down that aisle and pick up the blue box she told me to, guess who walks up and says my name?”, Hotch said.

“Strauss...”, Rossi said, finally surprised by something.

“Yep. And all she could do for a minute was stare at the tampons in my hand. I didn’t realize it at first! _No!_ It took me a moment before I chucked the box into the cart and pretended I wasn’t holding that. Good thing Emily recognized her voice on the way back over to me and walked away before Strauss saw her.”, Hotch said.

“It was hilarious. He was so freaked out, he had me get in the car and wait for him till he was finished getting the groceries.”, she laughed.

“You _do_ realize there’s a reason we’ve kept our relationship a secret this whole time, don’t you?”, he asked.

“Yes, of course I know. It was just funny to see you like that. At work, you’re so calm pointing a gun at someone but when you run into Strauss holding a box of tampons, you freak out.”, she laughed.

“Alright, laugh it up but just know I probably made the right call having you get in the car.”, he said.

“Gotta say I’m with him on this one.”, Rossi said.

“Aw come on, Rossi, you can’t even-“, she started.

“Ah ah.”, he held his finger up. “Dave or David.”, he said.

“Alright, _Dave_ .”, she said. “Remember one of our first nights going out, we went to the beach and I called you _Hotch_ still and you said-“, she tried but he cut her off.

“ _Okay, listen, my tongue has been on the inside of your mouth... you can call me by my first name_.”, Hotch rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“It felt so weird calling you _Aaron_ for a bit. But now... it feels so weird calling you _Hotch_ whenever I have to at work.”, she laughed. “Oh. I’m gonna go check on Jack, I’ll be right back.”, she said, kissing his cheek.

“Food is almost ready by the way. Let Dan and Ryan know while you’re out there.”, Rossi said.

“Got it.”, she said, walking outside, leaving Hotch and Rossi alone.

“So... what uh- what exactly happened on this beach?”, Rossi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not what you’re thinking.”, Hotch said.

“Oh?”, Rossi said.

“We didn’t sleep together until much later on.”, Hotch said.

“As in after Haley left?”, Rossi asked.

Hotch paused. “I know it’s not good but... I didn’t see it coming. It just happened. Nothing else did after that until after Haley left though.”, Hotch said.

“When?”, Rossi asked.

“A few months or so before she left. It was the night before I got shot. It was the night I told her I love her for the first time.”, Hotch said.

“Your first time was _in a hotel?_ _Near everyone’s rooms?_ Do you realize what would’ve happened if she’d gotten caught sneaking out of your room especially while on a case?”, Rossi asked.

“You’re not the first person to have said all of this.”, Hotch told him.

“Hey.”, Rossi put his hands up. “I’m not here to come down on you. I think you guys make a great couple and obviously are meant to be with each other. I just wanna make sure you know how risky it is.”, Rossi said.

“Believe me... I _do_. But she’s worth it. I’ve said it a million times already and I’ll say it a million more.”, Hotch said.

“She told me you were willing to quit your job to be a stay at home dad if she’d had the baby… Is that true?”, Rossi asked.

“I don’t wanna talk about that.”, Hotch said, looking down and swirling his drink.

“Aaron.”, Rossi said.

“I don’t wanna talk about it because it _hurts_.”, Hotch said.

“Why?”, Rossi asked, starting to push his buttons on purpose. It was a very effective tool for him.

“Because I _didn’t_ get the chance to do that! Because she wasn’t ready...”, Hotch said, looking down. “But we’re past all of it now.”

“No, you’re not. You’re still hurt by it. You wanted that.”, Rossi said.

“Yeah! Yeah, I did! I wanted to be a dad again!”, Hotch said, starting to tear up. “And she wanted that too... but she wasn’t ready... and that’s fine. But it would’ve been nice. But she still wants to. She still wants to be a mom... just not right now... not yet.”, Hotch said, running his fingers through his hair and taking a sip of his drink. “But yes. I would have been willing to leave the BAU to take care of my kid and be there for Jack more. I wanted a chance to do better, to be a better father this time. I didn’t get to though. So I’m just holding onto the hope that I’ll still be able to with her eventually.”, Hotch said.

“Then don’t lose that.”, Rossi said.

“I won’t.”, Hotch said.

“Good. Now go let everyone know dinner is ready.”, Rossi said, patting his back.

Hotch walked out to the backyard where everyone else was and brought them all inside. As Emily came in to the brighter lights inside, she saw tears in Hotch’s eyes while everyone gathered in the kitchen and they stayed by the back door.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”, she asked, wiping away a single tear that had fallen down his face without him realizing.

“What?”, he asked.

“You’re crying... I think.”, she said.

“Oh. That’s- it’s nothing. I’m fine.”, he smiled, giving her a kiss.

“You sure?”, she asked.

“Positive. Let’s grab some food. I’m starving.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said, still curious.

“ _Really_. I’m okay.”, he said, kissing her cheek and taking her hand as they walked over to the food in the kitchen.

“If you wanna talk later...”, she said.

“No. It’s alright. There’s nothing to talk about other than what we already agreed to earlier.”, he said.

“Okay. Just let me know.”, she said, rubbing his back. 

“Thank you.”, he said.

After they ate, they played some poker and Emily was “ _on Hotch’s team_ ” since she didn’t care much for the game or try to learn the rules but wanted to be a part of it anyway. Jack and Adam played with each other until they got tired and passed out on the couch. When they finished a game, Hotch and Emily decided to call it a night and head home. 

“This was really fun. And I’m glad Jack has a new buddy. Maybe we can get together again sometime?”, Hotch asked Dan.

“I think Adam would like that very much.”, Dan said.

“Great. We have him on the weekends so, pretty much anytime then...”, Hotch said.

“Let me give you my number.”, Dan said, exchanging phones to put in their contacts, while Emily walked over to Rossi.

“What did you guys talk about?”, she asked.

“Not much.”, he said.

“Why was he crying?”, she asked accusatory.

“He wasn’t crying when we were talking.”, he said.

“Dave... come on. There are very few things he cries about.”, she said.

“It’s not important. It’s nothing to worry about.”, he said.

“He was _crying_...”, she said.

“That doesn’t mean that there’s a problem.”, he said.

“Was it about the pregnancy?”, she whispered.

“Yeah. It was. But there’s no new issue. It’s just being brought up is hard for him.”, he said.

“Why wouldn’t he just tell me that?”, she asked.

“Because now is not really the time or place. Try talking to him about it later.”, he said.

“Alright... fine...”, she said.

“Hey. We had fun tonight. Put that in your mind. Not all this other stuff. Don’t worry about it all. Alright?”, he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

“Thanks for having us over.”, she smiled.

“Thanks for _coming_ over. Now that I know your little secret, you guys can come by more.”, he said.

“ _Little secret_.”, she laughed. “Yeah, definitely.”

“Em, you ready?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll grab Jack.”, she said, walking over and picking him up from the couch. With him still asleep and in her arms, she gave Rossi a side hug and said goodnight to Dan and Ryan before walking outside with Hotch to his car. She buckled Jack into his car seat and got up front. 

“You have fun tonight?”, Hotch asked her.

“I did, yeah.”, she smiled. “Did _you?_ ”

“Yeah. A lot.”, he said.

She stayed smiling at him and placed her hand on his face, leaning in for a kiss. “You know you can talk about it with me, right?”, she said.

“Yeah... I just don’t see the point anymore. It’s all talked about already.”, he said.

“Well, I know I still think about it sometimes. I still have feelings about it sometimes and it would make sense for you to as well... I think it might be good for us to talk about it when it comes up.”, she said.

“Okay. If you want to when we get home...”, he said.

“I think we _should_. It might help us both sleep easier tonight.”, she said.

“Okay. Let’s get home and put him to bed first.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said, leaning in for one last kiss before he started the car and drove home.

  
  



	73. First Halloween

  
  
  


**Chapter 73**

  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

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A couple weeks later, Friday night, Emily had her first therapy appointment while Hotch was at home with Jack while he tried on his Halloween costume. They’d talked the past couple of weeks about her seeing a therapist and she’d finally agreed even though she was reluctant. She got him to open up and talk about his feelings about the pregnancy before as reluctant as _he_ was to do that. They were trying to communicate better. They were trying to be more honest with each other about what they were feeling and she told him that’s what she was going to work on in therapy. Along with many other issues she had, most of which he knew already. But not all.

That night she was out later than he’d expected and almost picked up the phone to call her and check in but before he could, she walked through the door. 

“Hey, honey.”, she said.

“Hey! What do you got there?”, he asked, walking over to her.

“I picked up a pizza on the way home. I figured we’re both too tired to cook and Jack might want some.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he smiled, grabbing the box of pizza and giving her a kiss. He walked into the kitchen and set the box down. 

“Where’s Jack?”, she asked, grabbing plates for them. 

“He’s in his room trying on his Halloween costume.”, he said.

“He didn’t need any help?”, she asked.

“He didn’t want any. He said he could do it all by himself.”, he laughed.

“Is he hungry?”, she asked.

“Probably.”, he said. “Hey, Jack! Emily’s home! She brought pizza!”, he called out.

“Pizza?!”, Jack yelled.

“Yeah, come on!”, Hotch said. “So.”, he pulled her into his arms and held her sides, giving her a kiss. “How was your appointment?”

“Oh, it was uh- it was alright.”, she said, avoiding eye contact and running her hands along his arms.

“Em?”, he said.

“It was fine.”, she said, finally looking at him.

“It doesn’t sound like it...”, he said.

“It- it was... new... that’s all.”, she said.

“Was it... bad?”, he asked.

“No. No, it was just... I don’t know. I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Let’s just-“, she said when all of a sudden, Jack came running out and ran into her legs, holding on. “Hey, buddy!”, she said, picking him up. “Whoa, look at you, Mr. Batman. You’ve got your cape on backwards, silly.”

“Can I have pizza?”, he asked.

“Cheese or pepperoni?”, she asked.

“Pepperoni!”, he said. 

“You got it.”, she said, taking a plate that Hotch handed to her and walked over to the table with Jack in her arms. 

“Hey, we should get you changed out of that before you eat so it’s not dirty for tomorrow night.”, Hotch said to Jack. He got down from his seat and ran to his room to change. 

Hotch cocked his head and raised his eyebrows, looking at Emily. “Are you gonna tell me why therapy wasn’t that great?”, he asked, walking over to her.

She sighed, “I’ve never really done therapy before. I don’t really talk about my feelings and it’s hard for me to open up. Especially to a complete stranger. There are some things that even _you_ didn’t find out about and that I didn’t tell you about until really recently and you’re the only person I’ve opened up to about most... things in my life. You’re the one person I trust the most and I couldn’t even share everything with _you_ until over a year of being together. How am I supposed to do that with someone I don’t even know right away?”

“You _don’t_. You don’t spill everything right away. It takes time.”, he said.

“Have _you_ ever gone to therapy?”, she asked.

“No. I probably should have though.”, he said.

“You still can...”, she said.

“But I don’t feel like I need to.”, he said.

“I don’t either.”, she said.

“It’s different though.”, he said.

“How?”, she asked.

“Because.”, he said.

“Because why? How? How is it different? You’re almost, if not, just as messed up as I am...”, she said.

“Because it’s not affecting my everyday life anymore like it is yours.”, he said.

She paused and stared at him. He instantly realized how that came out and felt horrible. “Em... I didn’t mean it like that.”, he said.

“So you’re saying that you’re able to handle your trauma and not let it effect you better than I can? That you’re more put together than I am?”, she asked, offended.

“No. No, that’s not what I’m saying.”, he said.

“You think that you’re stronger than me? That you manage your everyday life better than I do?”, she asked.

“ _No_. Absolutely not. Emily, you’re one of the strongest people I know. Come here.”, he said, reaching for her but she walked away from him, back to the kitchen. “Emily, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“We’re out of beer.”, she said, closing the fridge. 

“Do you want me to go grab some?”, he asked, trying to go along with her changing the topic for the time being.

“No. I’m just gonna turn in early tonight after we eat.”, she sighed. Jack came running out in his pajamas and straight to Emily who picked him up. “Look at you. You already got in your pj’s. Oh. Those look dirty. We’ll take a bath after dinner. Alright, you want some pizza now?”, she asked. He nodded and she set him down, letting him run to his food.

They all sat in silence while they ate, Jack too busy stuffing his face with pizza. Emily and Hotch barely looked at each other until they were done.

“Alright, buddy, time for a bath.”, Hotch said, clearing their plates.

“Can Emily give me a bath?”, Jack asked.

“Sure, sweetie.”, she said, wiping his mouth before picking him up. 

She brought him into the bathroom and started the water for the tub. She grabbed his rubber duckies and other bath toys he loved and started bathing him. 

Hotch sat down on the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. He could hear Jack and Emily from the bathroom giggling and smiled for a moment. He almost got up to join them but knew Emily probably wanted some space. He pulled out his phone and called Sean. 

“Hey, man. What’s goin’ on?”, Sean said.

“Hey, I uh- just checkin’ in. Emily’s giving Jack a bath right now and I was... well, I was bored.”, Hotch laughed. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“I was gonna wait and see if anyone needed me to pick up a shift at the bar but my guess is no one is gonna wanna give up a shift on Halloween night. You make bank in tips.”, he said.

“You probably wouldn’t want to but would you maybe wanna come trick or treating with me and Emily and Jack?”, Hotch asked.

“Are you kidding me? Yeah, I’d love to. What’s he dressing up as?”, Sean asked.

“Really?”, Hotch asked.

“Hell yeah. It’s been forever since I’ve gone. I mean, obviously but... going trick or treating with my nephew, spending time with my brother and well... Emily specifically. She’s not just any girlfriend of yours, I’d say she’s a friend of mine too. So that sounds fun, yeah.”, Sean said.

“Great. Yeah, I mean, she definitely sees you as a friend of hers too. I think... I honestly have no idea what she thinks about anything lately...”, he half laughed.

“You alright?”, Sean asked.

“What? Yeah, no, I’m good.”, Hotch said.

“You just said ‘ _yeah, no_.’ What’s goin’ on?”, Sean asked.

Hotch sighed, “Alright... Emily started therapy today and I think I got my hopes up.”, Hotch said.

“What do you mean?”, Sean asked.

“I know how therapy works... in a sense. I mean I know you’re not healed on the first day. But it just seemed like such a great idea and I couldn’t believe she finally agreed to go and I just got really excited for her to... not necessarily because she needed to get help but maybe to start working on some... things. I know it’s gonna be really good for her but I don’t think it went too well today. And... I kind of misworded some things and now she’s kind of mad at me but we haven’t gotten to talk about it yet because Jack came out and... I think once he gets to bed we can talk and...”, Hotch sighed. “I always feel like I screw things up with her.”, Hotch said.

“No, you don’t.”, Sean said.

“I’m always saying the wrong thing.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, she wouldn’t still be there. She wouldn’t still be with you if she thought you were always screwing things up. She loves you. It just... takes some work. Relationships take an effort and you’re giving that and so is she. Don’t get discouraged.”, Sean said.

“How do I-“, he started before Emily called him.

“Aaron?”, she called out.

“Hold on.”, he told Sean. “Yeah, hun?”, he asked her, walking into the bathroom.

“Can you grab us a towel? I forgot to put the fresh ones back in here earlier.”, she said.

“Yeah, of course.”, he said, walking out to their bedroom and grabbing a towel for Jack from their laundry basket on their bed. He brought a towel back in for her and she smiled at him. 

“Thanks, sweetie.”, she said.

“You’re welcome.”, he said, confused, walking back to the couch. “Hey, sorry. You still there?”, he asked Sean.

“Yeah. And it sounds like she’s not that mad.”, Sean said.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I have no idea what she’s thinking right now. Is she still mad at me? Is she just being nice right now because Jack was there? I don’t know.”, Hotch said.

“I think you need to just talk to her when you get in bed. If she was really _that_ mad, she wouldn’t have just called you _sweetie_.”, Sean said.

“I guess you’re right... You know, for someone who never really has had a serious relationship, you seem to know a lot about them.”, Hotch said.

“I’ve had a couple. But as complicated as you and Emily are, it’s also obvious how much you love each other and how neither of you want to give up... all I’m trying to do is remind you of that.”, Sean said.

“I appreciate it but I don’t need a reminder for how much I love her. I’ll never forget that or lose sight of that. I just don’t want her to think that I _have_ I guess.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. That makes sense but why don’t you just tell her that?”, Sean asked.

“What if I offend her by saying it?”, Hotch asked.

“Try your best not to. But you wanna know. Just talk to her about it.”, Sean said.

“Alright, alright.”, Hotch sighed.

“Now... what’s Jack going as tomorrow night?”, Sean asked.

“I’ll give you one guess.”, Hotch said.

“Mmmmm... Batman.”, Sean said.

“Wasn’t that hard of a guess.”, Hotch chuckled.

“No, not really.”, Sean laughed. “What time do you want me to come over?”

“You can come over in the afternoon or morning even if you want to. We’re gonna make homemade candy apples. We’re even making homemade caramel for them.”, Hotch said.

“How’s noon?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good. We’ll be up.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, sounds good. Well, I’ll let you go but I’ll text you when I’m on my way over tomorrow.”, Sean said.

“Alright, sounds good.”, Hotch said.

“Have a goodnight and... don’t be nervous to talk to her.”, Sean said.

“Yeah, alright. Night.”, Hotch said, hanging up.

“The Halloween footie pajamas, huh?”, he heard Emily say as she came out of the bathroom, holding Jack who was wrapped tight in a towel.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said.

“Well, let’s see. I think they’re in me and your daddy’s room.”, she said, walking in their room.

“What are you guys looking for?”, Hotch asked, poking his head in.

“His Halloween footie pajamas. I threw them in the laundry earlier when I did it. Ah. Here they are.”, she said, taking them to Jack’s room and helped him change into them. 

Once they were done, she tucked him in bed and got a storybook off his shelf and sat down in bed with him. 

“Daddy!”, Jack called. 

Hotch got up and walked in his room. “What’s up, buddy?”, he asked. 

Emily smiled at him and patted a spot next to her on Jack’s bed. “Wanna join us?”, she asked.

“I’d love to.”, he said, walking over and sitting next to her. He wrapped his arm behind her and kissed the side of her head. 

They took turns reading pages until Jack fell asleep and they both got up and gave him a kiss goodnight. They walked back to their bedroom and got changed into their pajamas before brushing their teeth and washing their faces. As Emily was drying off her face Hotch came up behind her and held her sides. She looked at him in the mirror and didn’t break eye contact.

“Em... I’m sorry about what I said. You know that wasn’t how I meant it, don’t you?”, he asked.

“Of course, I do.”, she sighed, looking down and folding the washcloth.

“So you forgive me?”, he asked, kissing her shoulder up to her neck.

“As long as you forgive _me_.”, she said.

“For what?”, he asked her, confused. 

“For being rude and closed off. Putting words in your mouth and shutting you down.”, she said.

“I was just trying to be there for you.”, he said, hugging her and resting his head over her shoulder. She placed her hands on his in front of her and slightly leaned back into him. 

“I know.”, she said.

“Emily, I feel like I have no idea what you’re thinking or feeling lately. It’s not that I feel like we’re out of touch exactly but... it’s almost like you’re holding back?”, he said.

“I’m sorry. The last week I’ve just been stressing about today and then it finally came and it’s not what I expected and I don’t know what to think about it or how to feel about it.”, she said, stroking his hands.

“That’s alright to feel that way.”, he said.

“I know... I just don’t like not having control over these types of things. I’m not used to it. The only change I’m good at is when it was my choice and I can control it.”, she said.

“Do you feel like it wasn’t your choice going to therapy? Do you feel like I forced you?”, he asked.

“No, no, no. I don’t feel like you forced me at all. If I really didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have gone. You know how stubborn I am.”, she laughed.

“That I do.”, he smiled. “Do you wanna talk about it?”, he asked.

“Maybe. But not tonight. I just wanna get in bed and sleep right now.”, she said.

“Okay. Let’s get some sleep.”, he said, turning her around and smiling at her.

“I love you.”, she said, smiling back and running her hand along his face.

“I love you too.”, he said, giving her a kiss and walking her to bed. 

Once they got under the covers, she faced him and scooted into his arms, hugging him tight , pressing her head to his chest while he held her.

“Isn’t it crazy to think back to the beginning. Of _us_. I mean, I never would have imagined back then that we’d be here now.”, she said.

“I can’t say that I would have either.”, he said.

“But I’m glad that we are. Because you truly _are_ one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. _And_ Jack.”, she smiled into his chest.

“You are too, you know that, right?”, he asked.

“Yeah. I guess I do.”, she said, nuzzling her head in more while he squeezed her tight.

“I still can’t believe you’re mine. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real. I just feel so lucky to have you in my life and... there are times where I’m a little scared that I’m gonna lose you...”, he said.

“Honey, you could never lose me. I’m not leaving.”, she said.

“I know. It’s just... I’ve lost you before and I’m so scared of it happening again.”, he said.

“Well, don’t be. Because you have me. All those other times, things were standing in the way. But not now. We’ve been with each other for over a year, we love each other, we live together, and we take care of your son together. I’m not going anywhere.”, she said.

“I know. I don’t know why I worry about it.”, he said.

She scooted up to his face and placed her hands on it. “Sweetie, believe me when I tell you... I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise.”, she said, pressing her forehead to his.

“I know.”, he said, closing his eyes, rubbing her back. 

She brought her lips to his and rubbed the back of his neck. She waited till he opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Get some rest.”, she said.

“You too, hun.”, he said, giving her one more kiss. She scooted back down, resting her head against his chest. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I invited Sean to go trick or treating with us tomorrow night.”, he said.

“Oh, good! When is he coming over? Maybe he could help us make some candy apples with Jack.”, she said.

“Yeah, he said he could come by around noon if that works.”, he said.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. I’m glad he’s joining us.”, she said, kissing his chest.

“Perfect. Alright, goodnight, hun. I love you.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

“I love you too.”, she said.

The next morning, Emily and Hotch woke up, still in each other’s arms. Before they got out of bed, they decided to take a few minutes to _relax_.

While Hotch was on top of Emily, she had her arms around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist. Separating their lips to break for air, they stared at each other and she bit her lip in a smile.

“What are _you_ grinning about?”, he chuckled.

“I just love you.”, she said.

“Uh huhhh. What are you really grinning about?”, he asked.

“It’s just been a few days and tonight Jack is probably gonna have a sugar crash somewhat early and...”, she smirked.

“Ohhh. Mmhmm.”, he said, leaning in for a kiss and moaning into her lips. He let his hands wander until one slid down her pants.

“Aaron.”, she gasped. “What are you doing?”

“He won’t be awake for at least another half hour.”, he said, kissing her neck. 

“I don’t know... it seems a little -oh! Ahhh. _Aaron_...”, she warned him.

“ _Emily_... let me make you feel good.”, he whispered in her ear, slipping a finger inside her.

“Mmm.”, she bit her lip.

“That feel good?”, he whispered.

“Mmmhmmmm.”, she moaned.

“I can feel how wet you are, hun.”, he said, slipping a second finger in. Each time he spoke, she could feel his breath on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. 

“Fuck.”, she breathed, closing her eyes and rocking her hips against his fingers as they moved in and out of her.

“That’s it, sweetie. Just like that.”, he said, kissing her neck, speeding up the pace of his fingers.

“Oh god, Aaron.”, she said.

“Shit, Em. You’re making me fucking hot. I didn’t even think about that.”, he said.

“Fuck me.”, she said.

“Argh I want to so bad.”, he said.

“So do it. You said we have a little time.”, she said.

He stopped moving and stared at the door, contemplating whether he should or not. Before he knew it, he shot up and ran to the door, locking it. He dropped his pajama pants and boxers right before he got back in bed. He practically jumped on top of her making her squeal and pull him down. Once he got under the covers, he went straight for her pants and tossed them to the end of the bed. He let her wrap her legs around his waist while he lined himself up and slid in. 

“Oh fuck.”, he sighed.

“Mmmm.”, she moaned quietly.

“Okay, we have to be quiet.”, he said.

“I know. Come on, babe.”, she said, starting to rock her hips.

“Em, I’m not gonna last long.”, he said.

“That’s fine. Me neither. Just fuck me already though.”, she said, licking her lips and biting the bottom.

“You know that drives me crazy.”, he said, starting to pull out and slamming back into her and continuing to do so.

“Ah, yes. Don’t stop.”, she said.

He was suddenly pounding in and out of her hard and fast, knowing they were short on time. He leaned down for a kiss and crashed his lips onto hers. In order to control how loud they were, they didn’t break apart their lips until they were done and other than for a few words here and there.

“Fuck, Em. I’m gonna come.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she said, adding more tongue.

“Ahhhh shit.”, he said, going harder.

“Ooooo come on, I’m so close. Please, Aaron.”, she whined.

“Ah fuck!”, he tried not to scream while he came and took her lips with his. Within a few seconds she reached her climax too.

“Mmmmmm.”, she said, grabbing his face and shoving her tongue in his mouth. 

“Damn.”, he laughed.

“Yeah. I’d say so.”, she giggled.

He pulled out of her and grabbed her pants, handing them to her. Then she reached for his pants and handed them to him. 

“Thanks.”, he said, grabbing them. “Whoa, wait. Look at me.”, he said.

“ _What? What’s wrong?_ ”, she asked, concerned.

“You’re so beautiful. How’d you get to be that beautiful?”, he laughed.

“Aaron! I thought there was something wrong.”, she said, slapping him with a pillow.

“Honey, why is your go- to always to hit me with a pillow?”, he laughed.

“Because I don’t want to actually hurt you with my fists.”, she said.

“You’re adorable.”, he said, tackling her and kissing her all over, making her giggle. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door and they stopped. 

“Who is that?”, she asked.

“I don’t know.”, he said, throwing his pants on quick and grabbing a shirt. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

He went to the door and when he looked out the peephole, he saw Sean. As confused as he was, he opened it up. 

“Hey! I brought extra candy and a little something else for Jack!”, Sean said.

“Hey, come in. I thought you were coming at noon.”, Hotch said, letting Sean inside.

“Well, I was gonna but I thought... I have the whole day free. Why not spend it all with you guys?”, Sean said.

“Well, awesome. Can I get you anything? We were gonna make some pancakes once Jack was up but do you want a water or...?”, Hotch asked grabbing himself a bottle of water and chugging it, out of breath still from a few minutes before in bed.

“Just run a marathon or something?”, Sean laughed.

“No.”, Hotch said.

“You and Emily made up.”, Sean winked.

“What?”, Hotch asked.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt any-“, Sean started.

“No, no, we already- you didn’t interrupt.”, Hotch said awkwardly.

“Well, where is she?”, Sean asked.

“Let me go grab her.”, Hotch said, walking into their bedroom. “Hey, hun. Sean is here.”

“Oh, I thought he wasn’t coming till noon.”, she said, hopping out of bed.

“I guess he changed his mind.”, he said.

“Oh, okay. Well, the more time, the better.”, she said, walking back out with him.

“Emily!”, Sean said, reaching out for a hug.

“Hey! I’m so glad you’re coming out with us tonight and able to come over early and hangout all day. I’m sure Jack is gonna be really happy.”, she said.

“He _better_. I heard he was gonna be Batman and I brought him a little surprise. It’s nothing huge.”, Sean said.

“You didn’t have to do that.”, Hotch said.

“I just got him a little trick or treating bag with Batman all over it. It’s nothing really. I also have a late birthday present for him down in my car.”, Sean said.

“Your _car?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah. I got a car. Finally realized the motorcycle just ain’t that practical anymore and kind of dangerous...”, Sean said.

“You got into an accident, didn’t you?”, Hotch said.

“Nobody else was involved or even nearby. It was on a dirt road. It veered off to the side a bit, there was some grass, I was alright but I just realized I should probably move on from that now. I’m not 18 anymore.”, Sean said.

“You got a motorcycle when you were _18?!_ ”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, first thing I did. Anyways, I’ll show you the car in a minute but where’s the little man? Why is he not awake yet?”, Sean asked.

Before Hotch could answer, Jack walked out of his room, rubbing his eyes, still sleepy until he saw Sean. Once he saw him, his eyes got wide and he ran to him.

“Uncle Sean!”, he yelled, running into his arms. 

“Hey, buddy! Happy Halloween!”, Sean said.

“Are you trick or treating tonight?”, Jack asked.

“Yeah. I’m going with you guys.”, Sean said.

“Do you want pancakes?”, Jack asked.

“I’d love some. Wanna make some together?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“We got a box of pumpkin pancake mix in the cupboard over there.”, Hotch pointed.

“Great.”, Sean said. “Think we can make them in the shape of ghosts and pumpkins?”, Sean asked Jack, who nodded his head. “Alright, let’s give it a try.”, he said, setting Jack down.

“Wash your hands first.”, Hotch said to Jack and he ran into the bathroom to wash his hands.

“You guys don’t mind if I cook breakfast for us, do you?”, Sean asked.

“Feel free. Anyone willing to cook for me, I’m all for it.”, Hotch said.

Jack came running back out with his stepping stool and got to work with helping Sean cook breakfast while Emily and Hotch made a pot of coffee and cuddled on the couch. 

After breakfast, Sean and Hotch ran down to his car and brought up Jack’s present. “Jesus, this is huge. What’d you get him? A car?”, Hotch laughed.

“More or less.”, Sean said, pulling it in through the front door.

“Sean, no.”, Hotch said.

“It’s not a _real_ car. It’s just one of those big toy cars that he can sit in and it’s battery powered and you can drive it around. It’s cute. It’s like a real batmobile!”, Sean said.

“Where the hell is he gonna use it?”, Hotch asked.

“Around outside? Take it to the park? I don’t know but he’ll love it!”, Sean said.

“Oh god.”, Hotch said.

“Hey, Jack! Come here!”, Sean called.

Him and Emily came over to the big present for him in the living room. “Can I open it?!”, Jack asked.

“Rip it open!”, Sean said.

Once he tore the wrapping paper off and saw what it was, he started jumping up and down and screamed, “Batmobile!”

“Sean...”, Emily said.

“Uh uh.”, he held up his hand. “He loves it. That’s all that matters.”

“Alright. Fine. You wanna go to the park and try it out today?”, Hotch asked Jack who nodded with a big grin on his face. “What do you say?”

“Thank you!”, Jack told Sean.

“Hey, you’re welcome little man. Give me some.”, Sean said, holding up his hand which Jack slapped.

“Why don’t we go to the park _now?_ ”, Emily asked.

“Why not.”, Hotch sighed.

After they got back from the park and Jack riding around in his new little car, they made candy apples, played some board games, and colored some pumpkins drawings while Sean snuck Jack some candy.

By the time it was almost dark, Jack was getting changed into his costume. Sean offered to help him since he couldn’t seem to get the cape right before. 

“So when was the last time _you_ went trick or treating?”, Hotch laughed, walking up to Emily in their bathroom.

“I didn’t really get to go much as a kid so... I don’t know.”, she said.

“Seriously?”, he said.

“Yeah. I’m actually really excited for tonight.”, she said, walking to the closet.

“You didn’t get to go trick or treating as a kid?”, he asked.

“I went a couple times but it wasn’t super exciting where we went and I didn’t get to eat much of the candy. Most years, I just stayed in my room or we watched some scary movie if I was allowed to have a friend over.”, she said.

“That’s so sad.”, he said.

“Not really. It was alright. I mean, it would’ve been nice to go out but the neighborhoods I grew up in weren’t exactly the type you go trick or treating in anyways. But we’re going tonight! And I’m excited! So let’s go!”, she said, buttoning up a flannel and walking out of the closet.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”, he asked.

“Maybe?”, she said.

“A _coat_ , _Em_.”, he said.

“This is why I keep you around.”, she said, turning around for him to slip her coat on her.

He pulled it up her arms and placed a kiss on her neck. “Okay. _Now_ you’re ready.”, he said. 

“You guys ready?”, Sean called.

“Yeah, coming.”, Hotch said, him and Emily walking out of their room.

“Whoa, look at you, Mr. Batman!”, Emily said, picking Jack up. “You ready to go get some candy?”

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“God, you are so cute in this!”, she said.

“Aaron, go stand next to her. I’m gonna get a picture.”, Sean said. Hotch walked over next to Emily holding Jack and they all smiled for the camera. “Adorable. I’ll send them to you right now.”

“Oh, I’ll send them to Haley. She wanted to see his costume.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, come on! Let’s go!”, Emily said, setting Jack down. “Oh, wait. Don’t forget your bag. How are you gonna carry all that candy without your bag?”, she told Jack, handing him his new trick or treating bag Sean got for him. 

“Okay, _now_ we’re ready.”, Hotch said as they all walked downstairs and outside to his car and drove to a popular neighborhood for trick or treating. Hotch decided to park a couple blocks up from the busiest street in the neighborhood so there was more space.

They got out of the car and headed onto the street. There were houses with giant blowup pumpkins and ghosts and witches and more. They were all lit up with orange lights everywhere and kids running around, door to door. 

“Okay, remember what you do?”, Hotch asked Jack.

“Ring the bell.”, Jack said.

“And then what do you say?”, Hotch asked.

“Trick or treat!”, Jack said, bouncing up and down.

“Alright, let’s go.”, he said as they walked up to the first house. Jack tried to reach the doorbell but couldn’t so Emily pressed it for him. A woman answered the door and looked at him with a giant bowl of candy.

“Trick or treat!”, Jack said.

“How cute! Let me guess... Batman?”, she said.

“Uh huh!”, Jack said.

“You are the first Batman I’ve seen tonight so far. I think you deserve more than one piece of candy.”, she said, dropping a handful in his bag. 

“Thank you.”, Jack smiled.

“Happy Halloween.”, she said, going back inside.

“Happy Halloween.”, Emily said.

“You know, I think this might be the first Halloween he remembers. Or at least parts of.”, Hotch said as they walked back down the street to the next house.

“We better get some more pictures then.”, Emily said.

At the next house, there was a fog machine and spooky lights with skeleton decorations hung by the front and Jack stepped back. 

“Is it too scary?”, Emily asked.

“No...”, Jack lied.

“Do you wanna hold my hand?”, she asked.

Without saying anything, he reached for hers as they walked up to the door and she rang the bell for him again. When the man opened the door with his wife, Jack held out his bag.

“Trick or treat.”, he said.

“Honey, look.”, the man said.

“Oh! Batman. Our son dressed up as Batman too tonight.”, his wife said.

“Here you go, buddy.”, he said, giving him a few pieces of candy.

“Happy Halloween.”, Jack said.

“Happy Halloween!”, they said and they all waved before walking off.

“Wow, Jack, you’re very popular tonight.”, Emily said.

He reached in his bag for a piece of candy and tried opening it.

“Hey, wait till later when we get home to eat that, alright?”, Hotch said.

“Aw come on man, let him have a piece of candy. Everyone has some before they get home.”, Sean said.

“Alright, fine. You can have 3 pieces throughout the night before we get home. If you want one now, go for it.”, Hotch said.

Jack picked out a mini Crunch bar and tried tearing the wrapper but couldn’t get it.

“Here, sweetie, let me try.”, Emily said, taking it and ripping it open, handing it back to him. 

“Thanks.”, he said and she ruffled his hair.

As they kept going door to door, Jack’s bag kept filling up more. As they were approaching the middle of the street, they heard a familiar voice. 

“Oh no...”, Emily said, looking at Hotch.

“What?”, he asked and then he heard it. “You’ve got to be kidding me... _Again?!_ ”, he said, looking at a couple houses up.

“What? What’s going on?”, Sean asked.

“It’s our Chief.”, Emily said.

“I thought you were the Chief.”, Sean said to Hotch.

“I’m the _Unit_ Chief. _That’s_ Erin Strauss... our _Section_ Chief.”, Hotch said.

“What does that mean?”, Sean asked.

“I’m _Emily’s_ boss. But Strauss is _my_ boss. She’s _the_ chief.”, Hotch said.

“Ohhhhhh.”, Sean said, raising his eyebrows. “Uh oh... what are you gonna do?”, he asked.

“We’ll just skip it.”, Hotch said.

“No. You can’t do that to Jack. He deserves to hit every house he can. I’ll just stay back.”, Emily said. 

“Em...”, Hotch said.

“ _Really_ . Go get him some candy. Say _hi_ to her for me.”, she said and Hotch gave her a look. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”, she laughed.

“You sure?”, he asked.

“This is about Jack tonight. Go, go!”, she said.

“Alright. I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Don’t apologize. Just go get him some candy.”, she smiled.

“We’ll be right back.”, he said, walking over to Strauss’ house. Hotch held Jack’s hand with Sean by his side as they walked up the steps to her front porch which she was sitting on with her husband and a fire going in the fire pit right by them.

“Agent Hotchner!”, she said with a surprisingly big smile.

“Trick or treat!”, Jack said, holding out his bag.

Strauss grabbed a handful of candy and dropped it in his bag only to grab yet another handful for him. 

“Chief.”, he nodded. 

“Jack, I love your costume.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he smiled.

“Oh, this is my brother, Sean. I don’t believe you’ve met before. He’s been to the BAU once, very briefly but I don’t think you were on the unit that day.”, Hotch said.

“No, I don’t believe so. Nice to meet you.”, she said, shaking his hand.

“You too.”, he said.

“How’s your night been?”, Hotch asked.

“Oh, quite nice. I always love seeing everyone out here one night a year. It’s fun. Got a nice fire going, just enjoying the youth among us, seeing as how we aren’t getting any younger.”, she laughed and he joined in.

“Daddy, can we go back to Em-“, Jack started.

“Hey, yeah, we’ll head to the next house in just a second.”, Hotch said, trying to cut him off before he said _Emily_. “Sorry about that. Little guy gets impatient.”, he nervously laughed.

“Oh, that’s alright. Here take another handful.”, she said, giving Jack some more candy.

“Alright, if I’m late on Monday, it’s because of you. With all this sugar, he’ll keep me up all night all weekend.”, he laughed.

“He’s only a kid for so long. Let him.”, she laughed.

“Yeah, we’ll see.”, Hotch chuckled. “Have a good night. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“You too. And very nice to meet you, Sean.”, she said.

“You as well.”, he smiled as they walked off and spotted Emily up ahead. 

“Hey, sweetie.”, Hotch said, coming up next to her and kissing her cheek.

“Hey, how was she?”, she asked, wrapping her arm around him.

“She smiled and she gave Jack 3 handfuls of candy so... pretty alright, surprisingly enough.”, he said. 

“Wow. Jack. You got 3 handfuls.”, Emily said.

“Yes, he did. _But_... we’ve been out for over an hour and people are gonna start to leave soon. I think we should hit just a couple more houses and head home.”, Hotch said.

“Okayyyy...”, Jack said, looking down.

“Hey, you got a lot of candy. We can have some when we get home, alright?”, Emily said and he nodded.

“Alright, how about those two houses?”, Hotch pointed.

After they went to the two more houses, they headed home. When they got there, they all sat down on the ground and poured out Jack’s candy to count how many pieces he got. The total was over 70 pieces.

“Alright buddy. Go ahead and have some candy but just not too much. You don’t want to get a tummy ache. Besides, we are gonna have _a lot_ leftover.”, Hotch said.

Jack went to town on the candy but Hotch cut him off at a certain point. He took him to his room to help him get changed and brush his teeth since he was so tired after having a sugar crash. Hotch knew he would sleep well and was hoping it would be all through the night and that he and Emily were going to have some alone time for the whole night. But apparently she forgot about that when Hotch walked back out to the living room to get them to say _goodnight_ to Jack.

“Hey, I know it’s kind of late. Did you wanna crash here on the couch?”, Emily asked Sean.

“I really appreciate it but I should probably head home. I got work tomorrow.”, Sean said.

“Aw okay, well you’re always welcome here if you need anything.”, she said.

“Thanks.”, he said.

“Hey, uh, Jack’s in bed and wanted to say _goodnight_ to you guys.”, Hotch said.

They both got up and went into his room to give him a kiss goodnight. They turned out his light and closed his door. 

“Alright, I’m gonna head out but I had a lot of fun today. Thanks for asking me to tag along... Can we do this more often?”, Sean asked sincerely.

“Definitely.”, Emily said, giving him a hug.

“Just let us know your work schedule whenever you’re available and want to get together.”, Hotch said. 

“For sure.”, Sean said, giving Hotch a hug. “Happy Halloween. I’ll call you guys later.”, he said, walking out the door.

“Drive safe.”, Emily waved.

Once the door was closed, Hotch immediately turned around to Emily and picked her up fast. She squealed, wrapping her legs around his waist and threw her arms over his shoulders, around his neck as he carried her into their bedroom. He closed the door quietly and locked it, crashing his lips onto hers as he threw her on the bed. He stood at the foot of it and stripped off all his clothes while Emily did the same. 

“Thank god Sean didn’t take you up on that offer for crashing on the couch tonight.”, he said, climbing on top of her.

“Oh yeah, why is that?”, she smirked.

“Because I want you so fucking bad right now and if I had to wait till tomorrow...”, he laughed.

“Well you don’t have to. I’m right here.”, she said.

“Yes, you are.”, he smirked, pushing her up higher on the bed. He shot down her body and buried his face in between her legs. 

“Very generous today, huh?”, she said.

“I just wanna make you feel good, hun.”, he said, running his tongue along her, making her shudder. She grabbed his hair tight once he started working his magic on her. Every time he went down on her, her mind went blank. The only thing she could think about and focus on was his touch. 

Somehow, he always knew just the right spot to hit without her even telling him where or having to help him. As she felt him sucking at her and flicking her clit with his tongue, she arched her back. Without even thinking about it or expecting it, he inserted a finger in her, making her gasp and her grip on his hair tighten. 

After a minute, he added another finger while still licking her and sucking her, tasting her. The sensation she was feeling of him fucking her with his fingers and his mouth on her at the same time was overwhelming. She was just about to lose it.

“Fuck, Aaron.”, she moaned. 

“Mmmmm. So sweet, hun.”, he hummed against her, the vibrations shooting straight to the point that was going to tip her over the edge.

“Ahh. Aaron, please.”, she whined. “I’m gonna come.”, she whispered.

With that, he started fingering her faster and making her legs shake until she clenched around his fingers and came all over them. 

“Fuck...”, she breathed. 

He pulled his fingers out of her and looked her straight in the eyes as he brought them to his mouth and cleaned it all off with one suck. He ran his fingers along her wet folds once more as he came back up, making her shudder.

“Still sensitive?”, he smirked.

“Come here.”, she demanded, pulling his face to hers, tasting herself on his lips. 

“You’re so adorable.”, he smiled.

“Oh and why’s that?”, she asked, still out of breath.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell _me_ ”, he giggled. 

“Shut up and make love to me.”, she said, kissing him again.

“Gladly.”, he said with a soft smile. He grabbed his length and ran it up and down her wet folds before slowly sliding in.

“Ohhh. You feel so good.”, she moaned.

“So do you, hun.”, he breathed, claiming her mouth with his.

He took it slow, enjoying the sweet moment they were sharing after the long day they’d had.

“I love you so much.”, she said, running her hands along his face.

“You’re so beautiful.”, he said, leaning down for a kiss before moving his lips to her neck.

He moved his hips in and out, switching his mouth to the other side of her neck, sucking at her pulse point.

“Mmmm, _Aaron_.”, she moaned, running her fingers through his hair.

“ _Em_...”, he breathed.

She stroked his back and pulled him down until their bodies were pressed together and she placed gentle kisses along his neck and shoulder.

He brought his thumb down to her clit and started rubbing slow circles around it. He could feel her start to tighten around him and knew he was close as well.

“Ahh sweetie, I’m so close. Please come for me.”, he whispered in her ear.

“Mmmm.”, she hummed, as he started circling her faster and she bit her lip. Once he did that, she immediately started feeling it coil in her stomach and curled her toes.

“Ah fuck. Right th- ahh just like that hun. Fuck that feels good.”, he said.

“I’m gonna come...”, she said, her chest heaving.

“Please come for me sweetheart. _Please_.”, he said.

“I’m- I- ahhhh. Fuck, yes. Ah god. Mmmmm.”, she moaned, fluttering around him as she came. 

“Oh yes, Em... yes. Oooo. Ah I love the way you squeeze me, so fucking good, babe.”, he said as he came inside her, dropping his head and burying it in her neck when he was done. “God, why are you so perfect? It’s frustrating.”, he laughed.

“I’m not. We’ve been over this.”, she laughed, stroking the back of his neck and kissing the side of it.

“Shhhh. You’re perfect to me. You’re perfect for me. Don’t say anything else about it. Just leave it at that.”, he said, kissing behind her ear. He pulled out of her and rolled onto his side, facing her. 

“Why are you all the way over there? Come here.”, she said and he scooted all the way over to her and threw his arm over her, pulling her into him. He held her, pressed against his warm skin and drew small circles on her back. 

“Hi.”, he smiled at her, tucking her hair behind her ear and stroking it.

“ _Hi_.”, she smiled big yet also shy in a cute way as he thought.

“You know how the other week you told me I could... you know... talk about it...?”, he asked.

“The pregnancy?”, she asked.

“Yeah...”, he said.

“Honey, you can say the word.”, she said.

“I know. I’m sorry...”, he said.

“It’s okay.”, she said sweetly, running her fingertips along his bicep. 

“Well, I was thinking about something earlier...”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said.

“When Jack was emptying his bag and we were counting all the pieces of candy, especially with Sean being there... it made me think of when Sean and I were younger. Whenever I would take him out to go trick or treating, we would come back home and empty our bags and pour the candy into piles and trade pieces we didn’t want and then count how many we got and that was always one of my favorite parts of Halloween as a kid.”, he chuckled.

“Okay...”, she half let out a soft chuckle as well.

“I was thinking about how cute it would be for Jack to do that with a little brother or sister. I could just picture him, and as always his little sister since I always picture it being a girl, on the living room floor with their piles of candy and him bragging about how he got more. The way that he would refuse to trade any until he saw the she had some Milky Way bars and she wanted a Laffy Taffy that he had so then he’d finally agree to trade and then they’d fight over the last Snickers bar and Reese’s cups... Also just how cute they’d be in their little Halloween costumes and the pictures of them we would get before they go out trick or treating... I don’t know... I just can see it all so clearly.”, he said.

“That sounds nice.”, she smiled.

“Yeah?”, he said.

“Yeah. I like that.”, she said.

“Do you think about any of that?”, he asked.

“You know I do.”, she said.

“I mean you told me that you think about whose eyes it would have and if it would be a boy or a girl but do you ever imagine certain scenarios like that?”, he asked.

She looked up and took a deep breath, smiling. “There’s this one that I always see. Also, a girl. We’re on vacation and it’s just you and me and Jack and her and we go to beach and... her and Jack haven’t been yet so it’s their first time and they’ve never seen the ocean before so they get really excited. By this point, she’s already a few years old so she’s walking and Jack runs into the water and he’s splashing around all happy...”, she laughed, “and our little girl wants to keep up with him, so she runs after him but he doesn’t want her getting too far in even though she’s wearing floaties. So Jack pulls her back to keep her safe and grabs a shovel and pale and starts building a sandcastle with her. And even though, she keeps destroying it because she doesn’t really get it and Jack gets upset, they still have fun anyways because we promise to get him an ice cream later and we just spend the rest of the day at the beach, playing with them in the sand and taking her to the shoreline where it’s still fun for her but also safe. And then I see you and Jack going out far enough and catch some waves and ride them, not on surfboards but just swimming with them. And then of course, getting some stranger to take a cute family picture of us and... yeah...”, she said, looking down.

“That’s nice.”, he smiled.

“Yeah?”, she asked.

“Yeah. _I like that_.”, he said just like her before.

“You’re not the only one who thinks about these things, Aaron... I want you to be able to feel comfortable sharing them with me.”, she said.

“I know, I just don’t wanna trigger anything for you...”, he said.

She brought his chin back up and pressed her lips to his. “You won’t. Not with this. I don’t want you to feel like you need to censor yourself around me with anything. I want us to be able to talk openly and honestly about anything and everything.”, she said. He nodded his head and she stroked his face, pressing her forehead to his. “I _love you_.” 

“I love you too.”, he said, giving her a soft kiss.

“I’m glad you told me this tonight.”, she said.

“Me too.”, he said.

“You wanna talk about it more later?”, she asked.

“Yes, please. I’m very tired right now. You really wore me out. _As usual_.”, he laughed.

“You’re not the only one.”, she laughed as well.

“Goodnight, hun. I love you.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“I love you too.”, she said, turning on her other side which he snuggled up to and kissed her neck and shoulder until he rested it there and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  
  



	74. "Mine"

  
  


**Chapter 74**

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A couple weeks later, JJ was expected to be coming back to work any day. Emily and Hotch had been over to babysit a few times, bringing Jack with them on occasion to see Henry. On Sunday night, Emily and Hotch were in bed, asleep when JJ called her.

“Who the hell is calling right now?”, Hotch grumbled.

“It’s JJ.”, Emily said, before answering. “JJ, do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Uh... 7:30?”, JJ said.

“Are you kidding me?”, Emily said.

“No. It’s 7:30. Were you asleep?”, JJ laughed.

“Wait...”, Emily told her. “Aaron.”, she said.

“Mmmm.”, he grumbled again.

“Aaron.”, she kicked him.

“Emily!”, he said.

“It’s 7:30.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“It’s 7:30 pm.”, she said.

He sat up and turned his lamp on. “Seriously?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I guess so.”, she said. “Sorry Jayje. What’s going on?”

“That doesn’t make any sense...”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, hold on.”, Emily said, while he got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

“Were you guys seriously asleep?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, we... we took a nap at like 4:00 I think... I don’t know... we dropped Jack off and came home and we must’ve just passed out. God, this is why we shouldn’t take naps. We always sleep much longer. I’m so disoriented right now.”, Emily chuckled.

“Sorry for waking you.”, JJ laughed.

“No, I’m glad you did. I’m kind of hungry now. What’s up though?”, Emily asked.

“I was just bored and also wanted to let you know I’m coming back tomorrow...”, JJ said. 

“What?!”, Emily said, sitting up in bed.

“Yeah. I was gonna surprise you but I figured Aaron would’ve told you by now. I guess he’s better at keeping his mouth shut than I thought.”, JJ said.

“No, he did not tell me.”, Emily stared at Hotch as he walked back out to bed. “Wait, why are you telling me now?”, Emily asked. 

“I don’t know...”, JJ said.

“JJ...”, Emily said.

“Okay, also... because I’m not sure if I’m ready to come back.”, JJ said.

“Yes, you are. Henry will be fine.”, Emily said.

“But I can’t stand the thought of leaving him at home for a whole day...”, JJ said.

“Will is gonna be with him. He will be fine.”, Emily said.

“Here.”, Hotch said, taking the phone. “JJ, don’t worry. Every mom gets that way but Will has got it covered. And... if you need... you can go home early. I know it’s a lot to come back to work all at once. If you wanna do a half day, that’s fine.”

“Really?”, JJ asked.

“ _Yes. Of course._ Just let me know what you need and we’ll make it work but it’s totally normal to feel this way. Besides, you might change your mind once you see everyone.”, he said.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just so nervous to leave him.”, JJ said.

“It’s fine. Just come find me at any point in the day and we’ll work something out if you need, alright?”, Hotch said.

“Alright, thank you. I’m sorry I woke you guys up. I honestly didn’t think you’d be asleep.”, she laughed.

“Yeah, I’m really confused right now. I think we must’ve fallen asleep after we dropped Jack off at Haley’s.”, he told her. “Hey, Em, do you wanna order some Chinese?”

“Sure.”, she said.

“Alright, well, I think we’re gonna get some dinner but we’ll see you tomorrow?”, he said.

“Yeah, alright. Thank you.”, JJ said.

“Of course.”, he said.

“Bye.”, JJ said.

“So... We took a longer nap than planned, huh?”, Hotch chuckled.

“I _guess so_.”, Emily laughed.

“So are you happy?”, he asked, getting out of bed and changing into jeans.

“ _Very_ . I’ve missed her at work. I know she’s not my closest person there or whatever. Well, she is... other than you. I know I have you but... at least I can hug _her_ at work. I’ve missed being able to do that.”, she said.

“Em... come here.”, he said, walking over to the bed and helping her up, pulling her into his arms. “You can hug me _here, right now._ ”, he said, holding her tight.

“I know... it’s not the same though...”, she said.

“Even if people _did_ know about us, we wouldn’t be able to do that at work anyways.”, he said. 

“We wouldn’t have to hide though. I mean, aren’t you tired of hiding our relationship from everyone?”, she asked.

“Of course, I am.”, he said.

She pulled back and looked at him. “So why don’t we tell people?”, she asked.

“Emily...”, he said.

“Aaron, what is holding us back?! Seriously!”, she said.

“I don’t wanna lose my job!”, he said, getting defensive after her seemingly random outburst.

“Well, maybe you don’t have to!”, she said.

“Emily, no!”, he said.

“ _No?!_ ”, she said.

“Yeah, I said _no!_ ”, he said.

“That’s not how we work! You can’t just say _no_ to something. You can’t just say it so demandingly or like you have all the authority. You’re not the boss here. You know you leave that at work. _Here_ at _home_ , we are equal!”, she said.

“I know that, I’m sorry. But we can’t tell people yet. Where is this even coming from right now?”, he asked.

“I’m just tired of this!”, she said.

“Whoa, whoa. Tired of what?”, he asked. She was silent for a moment and stared at him. “Emily, tired of what?”

“Nothing... let’s just go grab some food.”, she said, picking up a jacket and walking to the front door. “Are you coming?”

“Emily, are you ti-“, he started as he walked over to her.

“Let’s go, I’m hungry.”, she said, walking out into the hall. 

The drive to the Chinese restaurant and back was completely silent until they got back home and ate. Hotch brought back a couple plates from the kitchen to the table and gave Emily a kiss on her head when he handed her one. He sat down next to her and tried to make eye contact but she just stared at her food.

“Em, please.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“Please look at me.”, he said.

She brought her eyes up to his and stopped eating. “Okay?”, she said.

“Em, honey...”, he said.

“What? What is it, Aaron?”, she asked, irritated.

“Please don’t get like that with me.”, he said.

“Don’t get like what?”, she asked.

“Short. Communicate with me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”, he said.

“You already know what I’m feeling.”, she said.

“No. I know what you’re thinking.”, he said.

“Fine. I feel hurt.”, she said.

“Elaborate. Please. Did _I_ hurt you?”, he asked.

“I feel _hurt_ that you won’t tell people about us. I feel like you’re choosing your job over me.”, she said.

“Honey, I’m not choosing my job over you. If anything, I’m risking a lot of my job so I can _be with you_.”, he said.

“How?”, she asked.

“Because... by keeping us a secret, I risk losing my job. But I’m willing to do that because I want to be with you...”, he said.

“Yeah, but you could also tell Strauss about us and then we wouldn’t have to be a secret.”, she said.

“But then I _would_ lose my job.”, he said.

“Not necessarily. But even if you did, you would still have _me_.”, she said.

“But I _like_ my job. I don’t want to lose it.”, he said.

“But you love _me_ , don’t you?”, she asked.

“ _Of course, I do!_ I love you more than anything.”, he said.

“So... why is your job more important?”, she asked. “I’m not saying it isn’t at all. I get it. I know it is. But... it feels like you’re making it more important than me.”

“Emily, of course not. But if we don’t have to tell anyone and I don’t have to lose my job, then why should I?”, he said. 

She looked down and picked at her food.

“Am I losing something else right now...?,” he asked, worried.

“I’m not that hungry anymore. I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”, she said, putting her chopsticks down and standing up. 

“Emily, wait.”, he said, walking after her. She went into the bathroom and locked the door. He knocked on the but heard the shower start and knew he wouldn’t get a chance to talk to her until they were in bed.

He went back out to the living room and finished his food before he packed up everything and put it in the fridge. When he closed it, he looked at the picture that Jack had drawn for their anniversary of the three of them together. His heart broke, knowing that every time Emily looked at it, she thought the exact same thing he was... that she couldn’t show it to anyone else or place a picture of them together on her desk or change her screensaver on her phone to a picture of them.

He grabbed a beer and sat on the couch, flipping through channels until he started to feel tired. He finished his beer and got ready for bed. 

After changing into his pajamas, he slipped in bed and curled up behind Emily. He kissed her shoulder and put his arm around her, bringing his lips to her ear.

“Honey, I’m sorry... what do you want me to do?”, he asked. She didn’t move or speak. “Em, I know you’re awake.” She took his hand and moved it off of her. He sighed, “I love you.”, and scooted back to his own side of the bed. 

The next morning, Hotch woke up to an empty bed and sat up fast once he realized she wasn’t in the apartment. He grabbed his phone and called her. When it went straight to voicemail, he started panicking and jumped out of bed. He was worried the past night had actually driven her away. He threw on a pair of jeans and before he could pull on a shirt, he heard the door open. He looked out the doorway and saw Emily walk in. She was wearing workout leggings and a tank top, holding her phone and taking her earbuds out.

“Emily!”, Hotch said, running over to her. 

She looked over at him until he reached her and wrapped his arms around her tight. 

“Aaron, what the-“, she started, holding him and rubbing his back.

“I thought you left.”, he said.

“ _What?!_ ”, she said.

“I thought you left me.”, he said.

“What are you talking about?”, she said, pulling back.

“I thought that you left. I thought you were done. I thought that last night just... did it for you...”, he said.

“Sweetie... you really thought I would _leave you?_ ”, she asked.

“No, but after last night and then I didn’t see you and your side of the bed was made and your phone was gone and you didn’t answer...”, he said, still holding her sides.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Em, I’m sorry. I know. That was stupid of me to think but-“ he said.

“It’s happened before... I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that...”, she said, grabbing his hands. “Here, sit.”, she guided him to the couch. 

“I’m sorry, I just freaked out.”, he said.

“Honey, I’m not going to leave just because we have a fight. I’m not Haley. Not that I’m bashing on her. I love her but... I would never do that, okay? I just went for a run.”, she chuckled.

“You never go for runs on work mornings.”, he said.

“I guess I just wanted to clear my head... I couldn’t sleep very well. I was up early. But I would never just leave without saying anything. And I would never leave _at all._ ”, she told him, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Emily, I’m _really sorry_.”, he said.

“I know...”, she said, looking down.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that... I’m not ready to tell people.”, he said.

“When will you be, Aaron? Because _I am_.”, she said.

“Emily, I want to. I really do. But it’s not time yet.”, he said.

“ _When will it be?_ Because I’m getting really tired of this. It’s been over a _year! We live together!_ What else is it going to take? _Us getting married?!_ ”, she asked.

“No. I want to tell people before we get married.”, he said.

“Wait... you want to get married...?”, she asked.

“Emily, I want everything with you. I want to get a house with you eventually, I want to marry you, I want to have a baby with you... I want _everything_ with you...”, he said, taking a hold of her hands.

“Really...?”, she asked.

“ _Yes!_ I _want_ to tell people. I want to tell people how much I love you. I _want_ to... but I _can’t_...”, he said, stroking her hands.

“Why not? If I don’t mind people knowing and you just said all of those things...”, she said.

“Because it’s not _your_ career that’s on the line! It’s _mine!_ ”, he said.

“Well, what’s going to change between now and whenever you do decide we can come clean about all of this?! Are you waiting until you find another job? What are you waiting for exactly?!”, she asked.

“I don’t know!”, he said.

“Well, that's not really a good answer!”, she said, standing up.

“I know but that’s the only one I can give right now!”, he said.

“That makes no sense!”, she said, throwing her hands up and walking to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry! I wish I had something better to say but I don’t!”, he said, following her.

“How are we supposed to do any of the things you just said you want if you can’t even tell your boss that we are in a relationship at all?!”, she asked.

“I _will!_ ”, he said.

“When?! When, Aaron?!”, she screamed.

“I don’t know!”, he yelled back.

“Ugh! You just- you make _no sense!_ ”, she said through her teeth and slammed the bathroom door.

“Emily!”, he said, putting his hand on the door and touching his forehead to it. “Honey... please.”

“Just... go away.”, she said.

His heart dropped along with a tear down his cheek. He got ready for work once he realized that she wasn’t coming out until he left. Once he was gone, she went out and got changed and made a piece of toast before she left for work herself. 

She still managed to get to work a bit earlier than everyone else and stopped for cupcakes on the way there. She glanced at Hotch’s office a few times, catching his eye once but he never came out. After everyone else got to work, they all waited together until JJ walked through the door and ran up to her.

“You’re back!”, they all shouted.

“Hey! I thought it was going to be a surprise!”, she said, receiving hugs from everyone.

“I might’ve spilled the beans to everybody.”, Emily giggled.

“I’ll forgive you.”, JJ smiled.

“Great! Now... we have cupcakes!”, Emily said.

At the end of the day, Derek went up to JJ’s office while everyone followed. 

“Hey, we are treating you to some drinks tonight so grab your coat!”, he said.

“I can’t exactly drink right now.”, she said.

“What?! Why?”, he asked.

“Breastfeeding, dummy!”, Emily whispered and slapped his arm.

“Oh. Well. How about we buy you a Shirley temple then?”, he laughed.

“Alright, fine. Lemme call Will and let him know.”, JJ said.

“That’s more like it!”, he said, walking out. “Hey, Hotch, come grab some drinks with us.”

“Oh, that’s alright, I’m just gonna head home. Long day.”, he said, glancing over at Emily while he closed the door to his office, carrying his briefcase.

“Aw come on. That’s even more of a reason to get a drink.”, Derek said.

“Really, I’m just tired.”, Hotch said.

“You got somewhere better to be?”, Derek asked.

Hotch glanced over at Emily again who looked down once his eyes met hers. “No. No, I guess not.”, he said, walking over to them.

“Yeah! Come on!”, Derek said.

Once they all met at the bar, they ordered some drinks and found a high top, crowding around it together. Emily raised her glass for a toast.

“I have too much I wanna say so I’ll just say this... we’re so happy for you and we love you and we missed you and we are so glad you’re back!”, Emily said, clinking her glass with everyone else’s as they all cheered.

“Hey, Hotch. That girl has been checking you out ever since we walked in.”, Derek nudged him.

“Oh. Really?”, Hotch said awkwardly.

“Yeah. Man, you take the suit jacket off and everything changes. You should go talk to her.”, Derek said.

“No, that’s uh- that’s alright.”, Hotch said, sipping his beer and looking up at Emily, glaring at Derek who didn’t notice her.

“Fine, let’s go play some pool.”, Derek said, getting up with Hotch and Rossi.

They all walked over to the pool table while Spencer hung back with JJ and Emily. 

“Spence, you should go join them.”, JJ said.

“I think I’m fine here. Pool isn’t really my thing.”, he said.

“Spence.”, JJ stared at him. “Go.”, she said.

“On second thought, why not give it another try.”, he said, walking away.

“You okay?”, JJ asked.

“Perfectly fine.”, Emily said.

“Em...”, JJ said.

“Aaron and I kind of had a fight and I don’t know how to get past this. It’s been an ongoing thing and it’s not just something where he can apologize and it’ll all be okay.”, she said.

“What is it?”, JJ asked.

“I want to tell people about us. But he doesn’t. He says it’s not time and he’s not ready. I’m so sick of this JJ. I’m done with this, I just- I can’t keep going like this.”, Emily said.

“What are you saying? Are you... breaking up with him?”, JJ whispered.

“What? God, no. Of course not. I would never break up with him. No... I just can’t keep going like this. I have no idea what to do.”, Emily said.

“There’s nothing you _can_ do... I think this is one of those things where you just have to wait it out, unfortunately.”, JJ said. 

“Yeah, I get that by now. I just wish I knew _how long_ I’d be waiting for...”, Emily said.

“I’m sorry.”, JJ said, rubbing her shoulder.

“Yeah. Me too...”, Emily sighed.

Back at the pool table, all the guys were playing and Hotch was doing the best so far. He’d taken off his tie and undone a couple of the first buttons, letting loose.

“Hey, that girl is still checking you out, man.”, Derek said.

“I’m not looking for anything right now. Seriously.”, Hotch said.

“Come on. She’s real cute. She looks like she’d be willing to separate from her group of friends.”, Derek said.

“I’m _not looking_ right now.”, Hotch said again. “Why don’t _you_ go get her number?”

“Nah. This one’s all you.”, Derek said, walking over to her and her friends.

“Derek, I will have your badge so fast- ahh.”, Hotch said.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get out of it.”, Rossi winked before he and Spencer walked away. Derek came back over and patted Hotch on the back before heading back to the table with everyone else as the girl followed, coming over to Hotch.

“Mind if I join you?”, she asked.

He looked back at Derek who grinned and nodded. “Um sure.”, he tried to smile.

“I’m Kayla.”, she held out her hand.

“Aaron.”, he smiled, shaking her hand.

“So, you all look pretty dressed up. Coming straight from work?”, she asked, grabbing a stick as he reset the balls on the table.

“Yeah. Long day. I almost didn’t come out.”, he said.

“What do you do?”, she asked.

“I’m uh- I’m an agent. A profiler at the FBI.”, he said.

“Seriously?”, she asked.

“ _Seriously_.”, he chuckled.

“Oh, that would explain the gun on your hip.”, she laughed.

“Yeah, I try to not leave that in the car.”, he chuckled again.

Emily glared at the girl and JJ nudged her. “Em, cut it out.”, she said.

“What?”, Emily asked.

“Could you _be more obvious?_ ”, JJ asked.

“That girl is flirting with my boyfriend. I’m a little pissed.”, she whispered through her teeth.

“Well, you can’t show it right now.”, JJ said.

“Look at them. He’s laughing with her.”, Emily said.

“He’s not going to do anything.”, JJ said.

“What?! She just touched his arm. Okay, no.”, Emily started to stand up straight.

“Emily, no.”, JJ said.

“She just stroked his arm. That bitch.”, Emily said.

“Emily. He’s. Not. Going. To. Do. Anything. Okay?”, JJ said.

When Hotch glanced over at Emily, she glared at him. He took a sip of his beer and hit the ball on the table.

“Okay... you keep looking over there and you are barely flirting back... am I missing something or is this a really bad color on me?”, Kayla nervously laughed. 

“No, no. You look fine.”, he smiled, politely.

“Okay... so, what is it?”, she asked again.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that- I’m not exactly available.”, he said.

“Oh... how come your friend-“, she started.

“He doesn’t know.”, he said.

“Why is that?”, she asked.

“Because I’m their boss... and... you see the girl over there in the gray sweater?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“That’s my girlfriend.”, he said.

“Ohhh. I _see_.”, she nodded.

“Yeah. It’s uh... not exactly allowed... but the other girl and older guy with us... they know. They figured it out on their own a while ago but that’s about it for who knows work wise so... my friend who came up to you doesn’t have a clue.”, he said.

“So is it serious or...?”, she asked.

“We live together.”, he said.

“So it’s serious.”, she laughed.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”, he said.

“That’s alright. My friends have been trying to get me to come out for a while but with my daughter, it’s kind of hard. I barely find any time.”, she said.

“Me too. How old is your daughter?”, he asked.

“Three.”, she said.

“So is my son.”, he said.

“Really?”, she said.

“Yeah. What’s her name?”, he asked.

“Sophia. What’s your son’s name?”, she asked.

“Jack. So single parent, haven’t been out in a while... what do _you_ do?”, he asked.

“I’m a high school English teacher.”, she said.

“That’s brave.”, he chuckled.

“The students aren’t that bad. Lots of grading papers, sure but this year's classes aren’t the worst.”, she said.

“So babysitter tonight or does Sophia’s father have her?”, he asked.

“Um, he actually passed away about a year ago.”, she said.

“Oh, I’m really sorry.”, he said.

“Thanks. It’s alright. We’ve been doing alright. I’ve just been doing the single mom thing ever since so I’ve gotten the hang of it. But to answer your question... babysitter. How about you?”, she said.

“Oh, well, divorced. But she’s got Jack during the week and Emily...”, he looked over towards her, “and I have Jack on the weekends so we never really get out much either. Tonight was just a special occasion. I almost didn’t come out but our friend, the blonde, just came back from maternity leave today so we’re celebrating her return.”, he said.

“That’s really nice.”, she said.

“Yeah, it feels good being out.”, he said.

“But... it must be hard not being able to be out _with_ Emily, isn’t it?”, she asked.

“Yeah. We’re used to it but my guess is she’s not very happy with me right now for talking to you but probably more pissed at my friend, Derek for trying to set us up.”, he laughed.

“Well, I can definitely understand that. How about I fake giving you my number so he leaves you alone and you just explain to her later on what really happened?”, she laughed.

“Well, actually, if Sophia ever wants to have a play date... I know Jack could use some more friends and Emily and I would love some new friends too, seeing as we don’t have much time outside of work to typically make any...”, he said.

“That would be great! Here, put your number in my phone.”, she said.

“Here’s mine.”, he said, giving her his.

Emily watched them exchange phone numbers and became furious.

“Does he think I can’t see him?! What the hell is he doing?!”, Emily said, practically shaking.

“ _Emily_. I’m sure he’s just doing that to show Derek.”, JJ said.

“He seemed to be really enjoying his conversation with her.”, Emily said.

“I’m sure he was just being friendly.”, JJ said.

“I can’t _believe_ him.”, Emily said.

“Em. Calm down.”, JJ said.

“He is _so_ sleeping on the couch tonight... if I even let him inside the apartment.”, Emily said. 

“Emily, you’re being ridiculous.”, JJ said.

“JJ, he’s getting her number. Not just taking hers... but _swapping_ numbers.”, Emily said.

“Just wait for him to explain.”, JJ said.

“Whatever.”, Emily rolled her eyes.

When Hotch finished putting his number into Kayla’s phone, he looked back at Emily who was glaring at him. 

“Looks like you better go do some damage control.”, Kayla laughed.

“Yeah, it’s getting late. I may have to dip early. But it was really nice to meet you and is it alright if I call you later? I don’t think we are doing anything this weekend. Maybe if you and Sophia are free...”, he said.

“A play date would be really fun.”, she said.

“Alright, awesome.”, he said

“I’ll text you or call you or... whatever later.”, she said.

“Sounds great.”, he smiled.

“Good luck with her.”, she said.

“Thanks, have a goodnight.”, he chuckled, walking back to their table.

“So! You get her number?!”, Derek asked.

“Yes. But... I don’t know if I’ll do anything or not.”, Hotch said.

“What?! Hotch, that girl was hot.”, Derek said.

“I just don’t know if I’m wanting to see anyone right now.”, Hotch said.

“You’re kidding me, right?”, Derek said.

“Listen, guys, I’m pretty tired. I think I’m gonna head out. But I’m really glad you’re back JJ and thanks for pushing me to get out.”, Hotch said, setting some money on the table for the drinks.

“Yeah, I’m gonna head out too. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”, Emily said. 

“Sorry to be a party pooper but Will is probably exhausted and I should get back as well.”, JJ said.

“Wow, alright. I see.”, Derek said.

“Sorry. But we’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”, Emily said.

“Yeah, yeah. Go on.”, Derek said.

“Have a goodnight.”, Hotch said, walking out along with Emily and JJ.

They all got in their cars and drove home. Emily got back to the apartment first and got changed into her pajamas. She went out to the couch and turned on the tv, waiting for Hotch. Once he finally arrived, she sprang up from the couch and turned to face him, with her arms crossed. He set his briefcase down and looked at her.

“Em, I know what you’re thinking.”, he said.

“Really? You do? Because it looked like you gave that bitch your number.”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“What’s her name?”, she asked.

“Her name is Kayla and I didn’t give her my number because I want to go out with her.”, he said, walking over to her.

“Then why the hell did you give her your number? Did you think sleeping on the couch sounded fun?”, she asked while he laughed. “What the hell is so funny to you?!”

“Honey, listen. She has-“, he started.

“Don’t _Honey_ me.”, she said.

“Em, it wasn’t like that.”, he said.

“Then what was it like?”, she asked.

“Kayla has a daughter Jack’s age. We’re setting up a playdate for them this weekend.”, he said.

“Oh?”, she said.

“Yes. When she was flirting with me, I told her that my girlfriend was sitting over at the table with everyone else.”, he said, taking her hands in his.

“Oh...?”, she got quieter.

“ _Yes_. Nothing happened. Nothing like that is going to happen.”, he said.

“Oh... well... good. Because you’re _mine_.”, she said.

“I am _all yours_ , hun.”, he smiled, lifting her chin. “I haven’t had a kiss all day...”

She looked down and leaned into him. “Neither have I...”, she said as he put an arm around her.

“Oh, well good. I would hope not... seeing as how you are also _mine_.”, he chuckled. 

“Shut up.”, she said, hugging him. 

“I also haven’t had a hug all day.”, he said, squeezing her right back.

“Shut up.”, she said, moving her arms up to over his shoulders and around his neck, giving his neck a kiss and burying her face in it. He rubbed her back up and down until she pulled back and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have every right to be upset about everything.”, he said. 

“You’re right. And I still am but I also miss you.”, she said, leaning in and bringing her lips to his. 

“Mmm I miss you too.”, he said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?”

“You’ve told me once or twice.”, she giggled, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Are we okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah... I hate that this is how things are but I can’t do anything about that until you are willing to and... I understand. But after seeing tonight how badly I wanted to sucker punch _Kayla_ in the face for touching your arm, I realized... I don’t care whether people know about us or not, just as long as I’m the only one that gets to do that to you. I mean, I do want to not have to hide _us_ from everyone but if we have to for a little while longer... then that’s okay just as long as you’re _mine_ and _only_ mine.”, she said, kissing his neck.

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said.

“Can we go to bed?”, he asked.

“Please.”, she said.

“Come on.”, he said, walking her into the bedroom. While he changed and brushed his teeth, she got in bed and waited for him. He finished up and crawled in next to her.

“It’s only been a day and I’ve missed this.”, he chuckled as she cuddled up in his arms.

“I hate being mad at you but it’s also really hard not to sometimes. How are we going to stop fighting about this? It keeps coming up and you don’t seem to be willing to change anything.”, she said.

“I can’t do anything _right now._ But I will. I promise. We _will_ go to Strauss and we _will_ tell the others. Just... not yet. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to have authority over everything but I can’t do this yet. _Please. Try to understand_.”, he said.

“Of course I understand. I just feel like lately, I’m always the one being told to try and understand. Can _you_ understand how _I_ feel?”, she asked.

“I didn’t even think of that... I’ve been so caught up in how this affects me and _my_ career that I didn’t stop to consider how it affects _you_ or makes _you_ feel.”, he said.

“Yeah, well. It’s not great...”, she said.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry...”, he said, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back. “What can I do _now?_ ”

“Just be here. Keep checking in about this... with me... and yourself.”, she said.

“I can do that. As long as you promise to keep checking in with me about _your_ feelings. I thought that’s what we do. I thought we communicated better than that.”, he said.

“We do. I just didn’t know how to with this I guess. I’m sorry.”, she said.

“It’s okay. We know now and we’ll do better, alright?”, he said.

“Mmhmm.”, she nodded against his chest.

“Okay, good. Get some rest, hun.”, he said.

“I love you.”, she said, reaching her head up to his.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, he said.

She put her hand on his face and gave him a kiss. “Wait. So... Kayla stopped flirting with you after you told her I’m your girlfriend, right?”, she asked.

“Completely.”, he said.

“Good. So what’s her story?”, she asked.

“Well, she’s a high school English teacher. Her husband passed away about a year ago and she has a 3 year old daughter named Sophia. She doesn’t get out much, doesn’t have too many friends especially since she’s doing the single mom thing all alone so I suggested we maybe have a play date. She seems really genuine. She could potentially be a really good friend and Sophia could potentially be really good for Jack too. But you have nothing to worry about. You may actually really like her. New girlfriend for you?”, he said.

“Maybe... I have Haley and JJ though. They’re my girlfriends.”, she said.

“True... but wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend that wasn’t someone you met through work and your boyfriend's ex-wife?”, he laughed.

“Hey! Just because that’s how I met them and who they happen to be doesn’t mean they aren’t my best friends. Sure, JJ happens to be my best work friend but she’s also my best friend in general. And sure, Haley happens to be your ex-wife and that’s how I met her, but she’s also my other best friend. So.”, she said.

“Hey, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I am just saying maybe it’s good that we are starting to meet people outside of work and our personal life we already had. New people.”, he said.

“Fine. I’ll give her a chance but if she tries anything with you-“, she said.

“She won’t. Besides, I love _you_. Calm down, sweetie.”, he chuckled.

“Shut up.”, she said, resting her forehead against his and her hand on his chest and smiling.

“Am I ever allowed to speak? You’re always telling me to shut up.”, he chuckled.

“No.”, she kissed him.

“If that’s your way of shutting me up then I guess it’s okay.”, he smiled.

She kissed him again and he grinned. She wrapped her leg over his side and hugged him. “Goodnight.”, she said.

“Goodnight, hun.”, he said, kissing her forehead before she rested it on his chest and held each other close, falling asleep fast.

The next morning, Hotch woke up to Emily placing gentle kisses on his neck and he let a smile slowly pass his face. 

“Good morning to you too.”, he chuckled.

“Mmm good morning.”, she said against his neck.

“Can I make you breakfast?”, he asked.

“Mmhmm.”, she said, kissing up his neck to his jawline.

“What’s got you so happy?”, he asked.

“Nothing. Can I not give my boyfriend a kiss when he wakes up in the morning?”, she asked, bringing her lips to his.

“No, you definitely can. You just seem extra happy right now.”, he said.

“I just want you to know how much I love you.”, she said.

“I think I know that.”, he chuckled.

“Good because I was worried that maybe yesterday I didn’t show it enough.”, she said.

“Honey, you don’t have to show it for me to know it. _But_ I will not object to kisses.”, he said, holding her face and bringing her lips to his.

“Oh _really?_ ”, she smirked.

“Mmhmm.”, he said.

“Well...”, she said, reaching for his pants.

“I don’t think we have time for _that_ right now.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she sighed.

“Let me make you breakfast.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Em.”, he said, bringing her eyes back to his.

“Okay, okay. As long as we have some time later.”, she smirked.

“I think I can make that work.”, he laughed.

“Then I’ll take some oatmeal.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, kissing her nose before getting up.

After breakfast, they headed to work and were surprised to find JJ there early. They both walked into her office and sat down.

“I see you two made up.”, JJ said.

“I was never mad.”, Hotch said.

“Really?”, Emily said, irritated.

“Sorry, hun. I’ll shut up.”, he said.

“Yeah, you do that.”, she said.

“So what ended up happening with that girl?”, JJ asked.

“She has a daughter Jack’s age and we’re setting up a play date for them.”, Emily said.

“Ohhh. Nice. So she’s not gonna try and flirt with you more?”, JJ asked.

“No. I already told her that my beautiful girlfriend was sitting over there with you guys.”, he said, reaching for Emily’s hand and gazing at her.

“Did you really call me beautiful?”, Emily asked.

“No... I didn’t want to rub it in her face. But it’s true.”, he said.

“Kiss ass.”, Emily said.

“Bottom line... she knows I’m not available. But I was thinking she might like Carson.”, he said.

“Oh yeah?”, JJ said.

“Yeah. I know he’s looking. They’re both smart, nice, attractive people. I mean I don’t know her very well yet but if he was with me and we saw her, I probably would’ve introduced them.”, Hotch said. 

“I think that sounds like a good idea.”, Emily said.

“You’d be fine if I set her up with anyone.”, Hotch said.

“Just as long as it’s not you.”, Emily said.

“Em.”, he laughed, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry but I don’t like the thought of her maybe still checking you out.”, Emily said.

“She won’t.”, he rolled his eyes again. “Anyways. JJ, how was yesterday, coming back and all?”, he asked.

“It was easier than I thought. I only called Will twice to check in.”, she laughed. 

“That’s good. How’s our favorite godson?”, Emily asked.

“He’s good. You guys should come over soon. Bring Jack even.”, JJ said.

“That sounds like fun. Maybe have like a game night or something.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah! Oh Spencer’s walking in now.”, JJ said.

Hotch released Emily’s hand fast and stood up. “Well, I’m gonna go set my stuff down but I love you.”, he said to Emily.

“Yeah. Love you too...”, she said as he walked out.

“ _Did_ you guys make up?”, JJ asked.

“What?”, Emily said.

“You still seem... upset.”, JJ said.

“Because I _am_...”, Emily said.

“Why?”, JJ asked.

“Because he still hasn’t agreed to tell people. Nothing has changed.”, Emily said.

“Nothing will until he decides he’s ready.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, exactly. When is that gonna be?”, Emily said.

“I don’t know.”, JJ said.

“Neither does he.”, Emily said.

“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”, JJ asked.

“No... I’m just sick of this. I want to not freak out anytime someone walks into the building when I’m holding his hand. You know?”, Emily asked.

“I do. But there’s nothing to do about it until he’s ready.”, JJ said.

“I know... I just hate it.”, Emily sighed.

“I know. Do you wanna come over later? Just you?”, JJ asked.

“You’d really be up for that?”, Emily asked.

“Definitely.”, JJ said.

“Then sure.”, Emily said.

“Ride home with me?”, JJ asked.

“Sounds good. I’m gonna go get to work but I’ll pop in soon.”, Emily said.

“Okay. Sounds good.”, JJ said.

Emily went back to her desk and tried her best to focus on _work_. But her mind kept going to Hotch and his resistance to tell anyone about them. The only thing getting her through the day was knowing she’d get to go back home with JJ and vent about all of it later.

  
  



	75. Waiting

**Chapter 75**

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The next week, everyone was out of town on a case that had just finished, ready to head home. Emily was packing up her things in her hotel room when Hotch knocked on her door and she went to open it.

“Hey.”, she smiled, letting him in.

“Hey, are you almost ready?”, he asked, giving her a kiss.

“Yeah, just about. Are you all packed?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to come by since everyone else is still packing.”, he said, sitting down on the bed.

“Well, I’m almost done.”, she said.

“I brought you a little snack for the jet.”, he said, holding up a bag of peanut m&m’s.

“Oooo. My favorite.”, she said, walking over to him.

“I know.”, he said.

“Thank you. You can put them in my other bag.”, she said. She started to turn around but stopped once she saw his smile drop. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”, he said.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”, she asked again, sitting down next to him, rubbing the back of his neck.

He sighed, “After Kayla asked me about Foyet the other day when we had the play date, it’s all I can think about.”, he said.

“Oh?”, she asked.

“Are we really going to be known as the team that caught _The Boston Reaper_ only for him to escape and now we can’t find him? I mean, is that what we’re going to be _known for? You_ heard her. _“Aren’t you guys the ones who arrested The Boston Reaper? Is he really still missing?”_ I just can’t shake this. Something just feels off...”, he said.

“Have you contacted anyone from the Boston P.D. at all?”, she asked.

“Yeah. I just got a call back a few minutes ago.”, he said.

“Well, what did they say?”, she asked.

“They’re tracking all known credit cards and checking security cameras in areas they think he might be hiding out, taking calls and tips from people but they’re all fake, just wanting attention. There’s nothing for them to do until he shows up. They’ve got nothing. He doesn’t want to be found. I’ve just never been here before, I’ve never been in this position. This hasn’t happened in my career... I don’t want this to be how people remember us.”, he said.

“It won’t be. It’s _not_.”, she said.

“Right now it _is_.”, he said.

“We’ll get him, okay? He’ll show up when he wants to and we’ll get him.”, she said.

“That’s easy to say but...”, he sighed, shaking his head.

“I think you just need to relax.”, she said, switching to face his back. She started rubbing his shoulders and he dropped his head. She kissed his neck and whispered in his ear, “It’ll be okay. Don’t let it get to you. That’s exactly what he wants.”

“I know. I’m trying not to.”, he said.

After a minute, there was a knock at the door and Hotch sprang up, going to the bathroom fast. Emily sighed, still hating that they were doing that. She walked to the door and let JJ in. 

“Aaron, you can come out. It’s just JJ.”, Emily said.

“ _Just JJ._ Jeez, thanks.”, JJ laughed.

He walked out of the bathroom and looked at JJ. “Hey, sorry. I-“, he started.

“Yeah, _we know_...”, Emily said.

He turned to her with a confused look on his face. “What?”, he asked.

“Nothing. You just thought someone else was there. _Don’t worry._ You hid pretty well.”, Emily said, obviously upset.

“Em, you know-“, he started again.

“What’s up JJ?”, she asked, ignoring Hotch.

“Um... sorry to interrupt. I was just coming to check in before we hit the jet but I can leave...”, JJ said looking back and forth between the two of them.

“No, you’re fine. Aaron was just leaving. He didn’t want to stay here too long. Might risk bumping into someone on their way out.”, Emily said, looking at him. 

“Emily...”, he said.

“You’re already packed and ready. You should really head to the jet.”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he said again.

“Seriously. Go.”, she said, staring right through him.

He paused and stood there, staring at her for a moment before he half nodded and walked out without saying another word.

“Okay... what was that all about? I thought you guys were doing better with that.”, JJ said.

“We are. We _were_. I don’t know...”, Emily sighed.

“Em, you’re obviously still upset about this.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, no shit. My boyfriend feels the need to hide in the bathroom when someone else _knocks on the door._ I hate this! I thought I could get past this but I can’t!”, Emily said, looking surprised at herself for what she just let out.

“What are you saying?”, JJ asked.

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know... I don’t wanna talk about this right now, I just want to get on the jet and go home.”, Emily said, continuing to pack.

“Go home to him?”, JJ asked.

“Do I really have a choice?”, Emily asked.

“You can stay with me tonight if you need space.”, JJ said.

“No, I can’t just avoid talking with him. I at least need to _talk_ to him.”, Emily said.

“Alright. Well... the offer stands.”, JJ said.

“Thank you.”, Emily tried to smile. “I’m ready to go. You wanna drive to the jet together?”

“Sure. Come on.”, JJ said.

They drove to the jet together and sat side by side while Hotch got on and looked over at Emily. She could see the guilt in his eyes but avoided them for the rest of the flight. 

Once they landed, they headed back to the BAU to finish up their reports. In the middle of it, Hotch came out of his office. 

“Emily can I see you for a minute?”, he asked.

She looked around at everyone and walked up to his office, closing the door behind her. The blinds were still open and she kept it that way until he went for them and shut them.

“You know, if you shut the blinds every time I’m in here, _people might get curious_.”, she said with a bit of attitude.

“Can you sit down, please?”, he asked, almost rolling his eyes.

“Is this gonna take long because I really _do_ have work to finish.”, she said, taking a seat.

“Okay, what’s with this attitude?”, he asked, concerned.

“ _What_ attitude?”, she asked.

“You know what I’m talking about.”, he said.

“Maybe if you communicate better, _I would_.”, she said.

“ _Okay_. What was that back at the hotel? You kicking me out? What you said to me?”, he asked.

“Why are we talking about this _here?_ Let’s just do this when we get home.”, she said.

“We need to talk about this now. I’m worried about us.”, he said.

“Aaron, please.”, she said.

“No, Emily. I’m sorry but you’re making me concerned. I thought we were okay. I thought we were doing better since last week. Has something brought this back up?”, he asked.

“Nothing brought it _back up._ ”, she said.

“You lost me.”, he said.

“It was never done with. I _thought_ it was but I’m still feeling uneasy about it all.”, she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked.

“ _Because_ ... even _I_ didn’t know I was still feeling this way about it.”, she said.

“What exactly _are_ you feeling about it?”, he asked.

“The same thing as last week. I’m frustrated that you’re still hiding our relationship.”, she said.

“Emily, you know I can’t do anything about that.”, he said.

“ _Actually, Aaron... you can._ You just don’t want to.”, she said.

“ _No_ . I _can’t_.”, he said defiantly.

“Do you realize how unfair this is?”, she asked.

“Tell me.”, he said.

“I’ve been kept waiting for so many things in this relationship. Some of which made sense and I was fine with it, including this for a while. First, it was coming back to you. I always knew something was missing from my life and then I found you and we were finally reconnected. I didn’t even know that I was waiting for you until I found you. Then, it was to just be with you. I didn’t know I was waiting for that either because I didn’t know it would ever happen. I didn’t know Haley would actually ever leave and I wasn’t going to hope for that because that’s a horrible thing for someone to hope for and I loved you too much to do that so I didn’t. But then it did. And then you were finally mine. And it was good. And then I waited to meet Jack and move in. Boom. Double whammy. But that was fine too. I was never mad about that but it still sucked having to wait for that but it was _fine_ . Then it’s little things here and there like meeting family or friends or just doing certain things... but now _this_ . _This_ is something that people usually never have to wait for. I get that our relationship is different from a lot of others. _I get that_ . But... _Jesus,_ Aaron... it’s been _over a year!_ Is it not serious enough for you? Am I not important enough to you? I mean what is it? Please. Tell me. Enlighten me so I can understand what’s going through your mind because I’m feeling really lost right now and getting fed up with it because I’ve been ready for a while and I hate being on a different page than you because we almost never are and this seems like a pretty important one to be.”, she finished. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak but he looked down at his desk.

“Emily, I...”, he said and closed his mouth before looking up at her.

“Really? Nothing? You’re the one who called me in here.”, she said.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”, he said.

“Right...”, she nodded. “Well... I think I said my piece... I can’t deal with any more of your bullshit right now. I need to think about some things... When you’re done being a coward, let me know. I’m going to stay at JJ’s tonight.”, she said calmly, standing up.

“Emily, don’t-“, he started.

“No. _You_ don’t.”, she snapped, opening the door and walking out, closing it and surprising herself when she didn’t slam it.

He watched her walk out and sighed. As much as he hated it, Hotch knew she needed space even just for a night and wouldn’t accomplish anything by pushing it. He decided to talk to her the next day when they were both rested and had time to think.

Emily came back down to her desk and finished up her report. She walked over to JJ’s, holding her go-bag and she looked up. 

“You wanna spend the night?”, JJ asked.

“If the offer still stands.”, Emily said, holding back tears.

“Of course.”, JJ said, packing up her things.

She stood up and grabbed her bag, putting her arm around Emily as they walked to her car and drove back to her place. They walked inside and found Will passed out on the couch with the baby monitor in his hands.

“Hey.”, JJ whispered, shaking his arm.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Hey, what time is it?”, he asked in a groggy voice.

“Late. Listen, Emily got in a big fight with Aaron and-“, JJ said.

“Do you want her to take the bed with you? I can sleep on the couch or in the guest room if you want.”, he said.

JJ looked back at Emily coming out of the guest room from setting her bag down. “No, no. I can't ask you to do that.”, Emily said.

“Take the bed with JJ. I’m home all day, everyday. You guys just got back from a long case and were on a plane and doing work... please. Take the bed with her.”, he said.

“Thank you. So much. Really.”, Emily said.

“You guys need it. And I’m sorry about Aaron.”, he said, walking over to her and giving her a hug. “Do you need anything? We got some tequila.”, he laughed.

“I could use some of that myself.”, JJ raised her eyebrows.

“I thought you’re breastfeeding.”, Emily said.

“I have some pumped already because we were out of town and the doctor said I can have a little occasionally.”, JJ said.

“Where are your shot glasses?”, Emily asked.

“I’ll go grab two.”, Will said.

“Actually, join us for a little?”, Emily asked.

“You guys don’t want some girl time?”, he asked.

“Yeah, but I could use a guy’s perspective too and you’re my friend. I’m already kicking you out of your own bed, I’m not gonna kick you out of here too.”, she said.

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”, he said.

“Let’s go get changed out of these clothes.”, JJ said.

Emily grabbed her bag from the guest room and headed upstairs to get changed with JJ in her room. When they were done, they came back down and sat on the couch with Will as he poured them each a shot of tequila.

“To stupid men.”, Will held up his glass and chuckled.

Emily and JJ looked at each other and laughed. “To stupid men.”, they both said, all clinking their glasses and taking the shot.

“Ahh. Haven’t had any of that for a while. Alright. Whew. Okay, tell me what happened.”, Will said.

“Same thing as last week.”, Emily said.

“I thought you guys settled that.”, he said.

“We did. Or at least I thought we did.”, she said.

“So what changed?”, he asked.

“I guess _I_ wasn’t settled with it. I thought I was but... I don’t think I am...”, she said.

“Emily... what’s really going to change?”, JJ asked.

“That’s what I keep asking him.”, Emily said.

“No. I mean with _you_.”, JJ said.

“What?”, Emily asked.

“You keep getting upset over this and asking him what needs to change before he tells people, right?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah...”, Emily said.

“Well... what needs to change for you before you can be content with the fact that he isn’t going to tell people until he’s ready as much as it sucks?”, JJ asked.

“I... I don’t know. I don’t think I’m going to ever feel content about him not telling people. I’ve held it back and dealt with it this whole time but I feel just done with it now.”, Emily said.

“Do you feel done with _him?_ ”, Will asked.

“ _No_. Of course not. I love him more than anything. I’m not gonna just leave him. Besides, that wouldn’t change anything. I’d still be in the same place as I am now... with people not knowing except... I wouldn’t have him. That would just be worse. It would make no sense.”, Emily said.

“So, what are you gonna do?”, Will asked.

“I’m gonna take another shot because I’m not even buzzed yet and I can’t think _honestly_ right now. Sometimes I’m too sober and my brain puts up these walls and just won’t let me be honest with myself so... hit me!”, she laughed.

Will poured them each another shot before knocking them back. “Can you come over more often?”, he laughed. “Haven’t had an excuse or the energy to take more than one shot in a long time.”

“Well, seeing as how things are right now, that might actually happen.”, Emily said.

“Okay, listen. I’m not taking sides here, although... I am leaning towards yours a bit because I _do_ agree with you on this _but_ I also understand where Aaron is coming from.”, Will said.

“Alright...”, Emily said.

“You guys need to come to some agreement. He needs to make a compromise but so do you. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything but-“, he said.

“No, you’re right and I’m willing to compromise. But it seems like he isn’t willing to take any step forward. How am I supposed to compromise if he isn’t going to do anything at all?”, she asked.

“I think he’ll give in to something at some point. Maybe you guys have to sit down and lay down some points for when you’re gonna check in with each other again about this? Make a list of things to ask him like what has to happen for him to finally tell people? What will it take?”, he asked.

“You think I haven’t tried to get that out of him?”, she asked.

“What does he say?”, he asked.

“He says he doesn’t know. That’s it.”, she asked.

“Is there any way to get him to meet you halfway?”, JJ asked.

“Fuck if I know. I don’t know what to say at this point. I just can’t right now.”, Emily said.

“Alright. No more talk about him.”, JJ said.

“I’m gonna grab some water.”, Will said, getting up. 

When he came back, they had another couple shots and hung out, talking about the case they had just worked on until Will decided to turn in and give them some time alone.

“How did you and Will do it? You know keeping it a secret for so long.”, Emily said laying down on the ground, holding the bottle.

“Well, for one, he didn’t work here. And two, he wasn’t my boss.”, JJ said, lying next to her.

“Am I being crazy? Am I being unreasonable?”, Emily asked.

“No.”, JJ said.

“So why the hell is this so difficult?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know.”, JJ sighed. 

“He makes me more frustrated than anybody... but I also love him so much... why does he do that? Why does he just... _do that?_ ”, Emily slurred.

“Because he’s a guy.”, JJ laughed.

“Why are men so frustrating?”, Emily asked.

“It’s in their DNA.”, JJ said.

“ _Well_.”, Emily sat up. “I think we deserve a better answer.”, Emily said, pouring another shot.

“From who?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know.”, Emily said, taking another shot. “Maybe Aaron can tell me.”

“What?”, JJ asked, looking over at Emily grabbing her phone. “Emily, what are you doing?”

“Calling him.”, Emily said.

“No. You’re drunk.”, JJ said.

“So are you.”, Emily said.

“Yeah but I know that’s not a good idea.”, JJ said, grabbing her phone from her.

“Give it back.”, Emily whined.

“No.”, JJ said.

“ _JJ_.”, Emily said.

“Emily, if you make this call...”, JJ said.

“If I make this call _what?_ ”, Emily raised her eyebrows.

“You don’t wanna make this call.”, JJ said.

“I do actually. That’s why I am trying to.”, Emily said.

“Really? And what are you gonna say? Hm?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know. But he needs to know what I’m thinking.”, Emily said.

“And what’s that?”, JJ asked.

Emily paused and felt a lump in her throat. She tried to choke it back but let out a single tear. “I don’t know.”, she said, her voice wobbly.

“Em...”, JJ said.

“I don’t know.”, Emily said again before she started sobbing. “I don’t know how to make this work.”

“I know.”, JJ said, pulling her in for a hug.

“I waited so long for so many things with him and this is the one thing that people usually do first in a relationship. They usually tell people that there _is one_ . Usually you tell people and _then_ you meet their kid and move in and make plans for your life together. This isn’t typically the last thing. What the hell is wrong with him?”, Emily cried.

“I don’t know.”, JJ said, rubbing her shoulder.

“He makes me so angry.”, Emily said.

“I know.”, JJ said, trying to comfort her.

“What am I supposed to do?”, Emily asked.

“Take a break tonight. Just... calm down, take a break.”, JJ said.

“I don’t know how. He’s always on my mind. This is _always on my mind_. He’s got me saying all this cheesy stuff now. He always talks about how we were meant to be and I make fun of him for it but... now I’m saying all this stuff like... he really is my whole world. How stupid is that?”, Emily asked.

“It’s not. It’s not stupid.”, JJ said.

“Yes it is. It is because I’m not the type of girl to say things like that. I’m not the type of girl to think like that or feel things like that. I don’t believe in that stuff. But he’s changed me. He’s changed me in so many ways. And up until now I thought they were all good but...”, Emily said.

“But what?”, JJ stopped.

“But I’ve never felt stuck like this.”, Emily said.

“Is that because of him or is that _you?_ ”, JJ asked.

“It’s _me_. But I’ve never let myself feel like this. I feel like I’ve given up a lot of control and I am not used to that. I feel like I’ve given a lot to him because I trust him but I don’t think he’s taken it either... I’ve just let it go.”, Emily said.

“That makes sense. When you let someone in, you surrender a lot but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes you have to let go of things in order to open up to others, like him.”, JJ said.

“Well, I don’t like this. I don’t like this feeling. I’m not used to it and I don’t want to get used to it.”, Emily said.

“That’s part of being in a relationship. You share all that. The good and the bad.”, JJ said.

“I feel like the bad is overpowering the good lately.”, Emily said.

“So fix that. You do have some control.”, JJ said.

“I don’t even know how to find the strength to muster it up anymore.”, Emily said.

“It’s worth putting in the effort, right?”, JJ said.

“I guess...”, Emily said.

“Okay, well, you’re not giving up on him, right?”, JJ asked.

“Right...”, Emily said.

“So don’t.”, JJ said.

“I don’t know how to keep doing this, JJ.”, Emily said.

“You just do.”, JJ said.

Emily nodded and calmed down, finally stopped crying, and released herself from JJ’s arms, wiping her tears away.

“Why hasn’t he called me?”, Emily asked.

“He probably knew you needed space for the night. He’ll talk to you tomorrow. Don’t worry.”, JJ said.

“I’m not.”, Emily said.

“Do you wanna watch some tv?”, JJ asked.

“Sure.”, Emily said.

JJ turned on the tv and Gilligan’s Island was playing.

“Whoa, I haven’t watched this in forever.”, JJ said.

“Keep it on. This is one of me and Aaron’s favorites.”, Emily said.

“Should we really be watching it then?”, JJ asked.

“Yes. It’s a good comfort show.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, JJ said.

They watched the show for a while and after an episode, Emily picked up her phone again.

“No no. What are you doing?”, JJ asked.

“I’m not calling him to yell. I just feel bad. He was really upset earlier.”, Emily said.

“Still. Don’t.”, JJ said, taking the phone from her again. “What was he upset about?”

“Foyet.”, Emily sighed.

“Foyet?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, remember that girl from the bar? Kayla?”, Emily asked. 

“Yeah.”, JJ said.

“We had a play date with Jack and her daughter and she brought up Foyet. Well, more... _The Boston Reaper_.”, Emily said.

“Oh... what did she say?”, JJ asked.

“She was just asking when we were talking about work and what we do exactly, if it’s true that we were the ones that caught him. I think it struck a nerve for Aaron. Ever since Foyet escaped, he spends a lot of nights up, going through case files, trying to find some clue or whatever. It’s hard to get him back to bed. He’s had some dreams about him even...”, Emily said, putting her hand over her face.

“Seriously?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah. I guess after Kayla asked him about that, he contacted the Boston P.D. and tried to check in on their progress with the case but they’ve got nothing right now. They just got back to him today.”, Emily said.

“Are we _ever_ gonna catch him?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know but I hate seeing him like this. He’s getting really discouraged.”, Emily said.

“Really?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, that’s what he was talking about when he came to my hotel room earlier before we left.”, Emily said.

“He’ll be alright. Just... be there for him.”, JJ said.

“I know. That’s why I wanna call him right now.”, Emily said.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea right now. I don’t think either of you are in a place to talk about anything right now.”, JJ said.

“You’re probably right.”, Emily sighed.

“One more shot and then bed?”, JJ asked.

“I need _something_ to help me sleep tonight.”, Emily laughed.

JJ poured them another shot and they stayed up for a little bit longer before they went upstairs to get ready for bed.

“I’m glad I had my whole bag with everything in it tonight.”, Emily said, washing her face.

“Yeah, it’s almost like the universe knew.”, JJ said, changing the sheets on the bed.

“That was really nice of Will to let me sleep in the bed.”, Emily said.

“He loves you. Besides, he gets the bed to himself all day, everyday and he has one downstairs.”, JJ said.

“You really lucked out with him.” Emily said.

“You’re tellin’ me.”, JJ said as Emily came out and helped her with the pillow cases. “So did you though... Aaron loves you _so much_ , you know that, right?”, JJ said.

“I do. I love him too. And I love Jack. And I feel really lucky to have them both in my life. I never would’ve imagined that happening, you know, I never would have imagined loving someone as much as I love the both of them. Also, just having someone’s kid come into my life and loving _him_ as much as I do. Jack takes up a big piece of my heart. And same with Haley. I mean I _really_ never would have imagined that we would’ve become friends but now she’s one of my _best_ friends. I just feel so lucky to have all of them in my life. It’s really strange how that happened.”, Emily said.

“I bet.”, JJ said, climbing in bed with her.

“Have you... ever thought about marriage?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve talked about it. I guess by now, after having a kid, we don’t see a rush in doing it but we’ve talked about it.”, JJ said.

“And?”, Emily asked.

“Like I said, we’re in no rush. Why?”, JJ asked.

“Just wondering... Aaron said he wants to marry me.”, Emily blurted out.

“I know.”, JJ said.

“You _know?_ ”, Emily asked.

“He told me a while back.”, JJ said.

“He did?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, JJ said.

“When? Why? How did that come up?”, Emily asked.

“Um... it was the day you stayed home... the day you had that first exam... before the abortion...”, JJ said.

“Oh...”, Emily said.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”, JJ said.

“No, I wanna know what he said.”, Emily said.

“Okay... I was asking him how _he_ was doing with everything, you know with the decision you guys had made the night before.”, JJ said.

“Okay...”, Emily said.

“He said, as you know, he respected your decision and wanted what was best for you but... that it still hurt. He said... it hurt him that the woman he wants to marry and have a family and a home with, the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with wanted to do that but he knew it was _what’s best for you_.”, JJ said.

“He said that?”, Emily asked, tearing up.

“Yeah. He asked me not to tell you everything because he didn’t want you thinking it was so soon or to make you feel guilty but he told me a while ago... he’s wanted this for a while. He’s known he wants to marry you for a long time.”, JJ asked.

“Oh.”, Emily whispered, letting a tear fall.

“Emily, I’m sorry...”, JJ said.

“No, don’t be. This is supposed to be a happy thing.”, Emily sniffled.

“But you don’t seem happy...”, JJ said.

“He said he didn’t want to make me feel guilty. He’s not the one making me feel guilty by saying that. _I am_. I feel guilty everyday. I feel guilty I didn’t give him what he wanted.”, Emily said.

“You couldn’t though. He understood that. He still does.”, JJ said.

“I know that. But I _could’ve. I could’ve given him that_. I wouldn’t just be giving _him_ that. It was what I wanted too. I wanted that so badly. I’ve run this through my mind so many times. I think about it everyday. I imagine what our life could be like right now if I hadn’t done it... would we be married right now? Would we have a house together? Would Jack be a happy older brother?”, Emily started crying.

“Em... you can’t do that to yourself.”, JJ said.

“Why did that have to happen _then?_ ”, Emily said.

“I don’t know but now you know that’s what you want. Now you know what you want your future to look like and that you want him in it.”, JJ said.

“I know but still. This is just one more thing we have to wait for. But...”, Emily said.

“What?”, JJ asked.

“But this is something that _I_ don’t know how long I wanna wait for... God... I’ve been giving him shit for not knowing what we’re waiting for for telling people about us but I’m doing the same thing with having a baby and getting married or whatever the next thing is...”, Emily said.

“Okay but to be fair, people typically do that after they let others know about their relationship. Maybe you need that to happen before you can be more sure about _this_.”, JJ said.

“You’re right... you’re right.”, Emily said.

“Maybe _that’s_ something you should say when you talk. Maybe that’ll help him move forward with this. You know... part of the compromise, maybe a step towards coming out about all of this? Communicate that to him.”, JJ said.

“Do you know how wise you are?”, Emily laughed.

“Mmm yeah. Yeah, I do.”, JJ laughed.

“Thank you. For everything.”, Emily said.

“That’s what I’m here for.”, JJ said, taking her hand.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I just hope he’s okay right now.”, Emily said.

“I’m sure he’s fine.”, JJ said.

“Yeah... he probably is...”, Emily said.

As their eyes grew tired, they slowly drifted off to sleep. 

Meanwhile, Hotch was heading home from work, finishing up late. The whole drive home, all he could think about was Emily. 

When he got to their building, he walked up to their apartment and stopped in front of their door and pulled out his phone. He clicked on her contact and his finger hovered over the call button. He hesitated on pressing it but turned it off and put it back in his pocket.

He unlocked the door and set his keys and briefcase down, ready to unwind for the night. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about the whole day. He walked over to the side table off the kitchen and picked up the bottle of scotch Emily had gotten him for his birthday. He poured a glass and sighed, bringing it up to his lips. Right as he took a sip, he looked at the picture framed up on the wall in front of him and saw someone walking up to him in the reflection of it. Once the person stopped and he saw the gun pointed at him, he recognized the mask on his face. 

Hotch set his drink down slowly before he turned around and furrowed his brows at George Foyet, _The Boston Reaper_. 

Hotch stared at him with a look of rage and just being so done with him yet ready to fight what was coming next before Foyet spoke. 

“You should have made a deal.”, he said before firing the gun in his hand.

  
  



	76. And Finally The Truth

**Chapter 76**

  
  


***this chapter is based on the episode “nameless, faceless” but obviously has quite a few changes. lots of happy and some sad.***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next morning, Emily woke up next to JJ. She tapped her arm and brought her hand to her head, squinting her eyes.

“Oh god.”, Emily said.

“What the hell?”, JJ said, covering her face.

“Why did I think that was a good idea?”, Emily said.

“Drinking that much?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah.”, Emily said.

“I don’t know but my head...”, JJ said.

“Is _killing_ me.”, Emily said.

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”, JJ said.

“You girls up?”, Will asked, walking in.

“We are _now_.”, JJ said.

“Good. Breakfast is ready.”, he said.

“I can’t even think about eating anything right now.”, Emily said.

“I made hangover smoothies.”, he said.

“How come _you’re_ not hungover?”, Emily asked.

“I didn’t have nearly as much to drink as you two.”, he chuckled. “Come on, I’ll help you guys up.”

As Will helped them out of bed, JJ's eyes widened. “Where’s Henry?”, she asked.

“He’s still down so don’t be too loud.”, he said.

“He’s still down?”, she asked.

“Yeah, he woke up really early but I fed him and he went back to sleep.”, he said.

“What would I do without you?”, she asked, giving him a kiss.

“I don’t know but I’m here.”, he smiled, walking them downstairs.

“What are in those smoothies and why are they green?”, Emily asked.

“They’re mainly veggies but they’re healthy and they help so drink up.”, he said.

They sat down and clinked their glasses before taking a sip. “Oh my god, what are in these?”, JJ gagged.

“I never said they tasted good.”, Will laughed.

“Just drink it fast.”, Emily said, trying to chug it.

JJ’s phone went off and she looked all around for it when she finally found it on the coffee table. She went to pick it up and sighed after she hung up. 

“We have a case?”, Emily asked.

“Of course we do. But it’s local.”, JJ said.

“I’ll go get dressed.”, Emily said.

They went upstairs to get dressed and headed out after Henry woke up and they spent a few minutes with him. 

They arrived at the crime scene to find Spencer, Derek, and Rossi there but no Hotch.

“Where’s Hotch?”, Emily asked, walking into the apartment where they were. 

“No idea.”, Spencer said.

“He didn’t pick up when we called him. I just assumed he would’ve gotten a call himself and been here by now.”, JJ said, looking over at Emily. 

“Should I try him?”, Emily asked.

“Just give him a few. He’ll show up.”, JJ said.

After a while when there was still no Hotch, JJ went up to Emily. “I’ll try him again but you need to go to Dr. Barton’s house and comb through those files with Spencer. I’ll let you know if he calls.”, JJ said.

“Should I try him?”, Emily asked again.

“Just wait a little.”, JJ said.

“Alright.”, Emily sighed.

“Keep in touch, okay?”, JJ said.

“Okay. I’ll let you know when we get there.”, Emily said, signaling Spencer over to her while they headed out to the Doctor’s house. 

When they got there, they started going over files, looking for clues as to who the unsub was. Emily became irritated that Hotch hadn’t shown up yet so she called JJ.

“JJ, has he called you at all yet?”, Emily asked.

“No. He hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts.”, JJ said.

“I swear, if he is just staying home and acting all pissy or moping around...”, Emily said.

“Try calling him.”, JJ said.

“I’ll do him one better. I’m going to the apartment and dragging him over here.”, Emily hung up.

“Still no word from him?”, Spencer asked.

“No, I’m gonna go to his apartment and check on him.”, Emily said.

“Alright, I’ve got it covered here. Let me know if he’s there.”, he said.

“I will.”, she said, walking out and heading to the car.

Emily drove to their apartment and called Hotch on the way. He didn’t answer but she left a voicemail. 

“Listen, Aaron, I know you’re probably mad at me or maybe you’re just upset or whatever but you can’t just skip work like this. This is not _you_. You need to pull it together, alright? We can talk later but for now, just get dressed. I’m on my way over.”, she said and hung up.

When she got to their building, she walked up to their apartment and right as she pulled her keys out, she noticed the door open a crack and immediately reached for her gun. She pulled out her phone and called him again. Once she heard his phone ringing from inside, she hung up and put it back in her pocket. She grabbed her gun and held it up, her heart racing, blood pumping hard. 

She counted to 5, preparing herself for what she might find inside before she kicked the door open and moved her gun back and forth. She pointed it from side to side, looking all around. 

She saw his briefcase, keys, and gun set down on the table along with broken glass and his phone on the ground. She turned the corner and pointed the gun, clearing the kitchen. She walked out and saw a blood stain on the ground and gasped. She felt tears starting in her eyes and bit her lip, trying to hold them in. She took a deep breath, trying to bring herself back.

“Aaron?”, she called out, slowly approaching the bathroom, clearing it, and steadying her breathing.

“Aaron, are you here?”, she called again as she came up to Jack’s bedroom and kicked the door open, moving her gun side to side and cleared it.

She walked out of it and approached their bedroom before kicking the door open and clearing it along with their bathroom. She lowered her gun once she realized he wasn’t there. She put her gun back in the holster on her hip and walked out to the living room where she stared at the blood stain that still seemed somewhat fresh.

She looked over to the side and noticed a hole in the wall and knew what it was. A bullet hole. Her hands started shaking as she reached for her phone and called Garcia. 

“Penelope Garcia here.”, Garcia said, chirpy.

“Garcia, it’s Emily. I need you to listen carefully. I’m at Hotch’s apartment and he’s not here. Something’s happened.”, Emily said.

“What do you mean?”, Garcia asked.

“There’s a bullet hole in the wall, blood on the ground and broken glass. All his things are here. I need you to send a crime scene team down here and put out an APB for him and... don’t tell the others... they need to focus on their own work right now. I’ll let JJ know and I’ll tell Reid I’m not coming back but that’s it, okay? I need you to do this _now_.”, Emily said, hoping Garcia couldn’t hear her wobbly voice.

“Oh my god...”, Garcia said.

“Garcia, I need you to do this _now_ , okay? _Now_.”, Emily said.

“Yes. Okay. I’m on it.”, Garcia said and hung up.

Emily called Spencer next, letting him know something came up and she couldn’t return but to keep working on his own before she called JJ.

“JJ.”, Emily cried.

“Emily, what’s going on?”, JJ asked, concerned.

“He’s not here.”, Emily said.

“What do you mean he’s not there?”, JJ asked.

“I mean he’s not here.”, Emily sniffled.

“Okay... well... maybe he’s... out?”, JJ said.

“JJ the door was open when I got here and there’s a bullet hole in the wall and broken glass and blood on the ground. His phone and keys and briefcase and gun are all here but _he isn’t._ ”, Emily cried more.

“ _What?!_ ”, JJ whispered.

“I called Garcia and she’s got an APB out for him and sending some techs over to the apartment but... he’s gone Jayje.”, she said.

“Emily...”, JJ said.

“Oh my god. What am I gonna do? What if that’s his blood?”, Emily asked, bringing her hand to cover her mouth.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m on my way.”, JJ said.

“No, I need you out, working. I can’t have you here or I’ll break down. Please just... just work the case and I got this.”, Emily said.

“Are you positive?”, JJ said.

“Yeah, just keep going, okay? I’ll call you with any update.”, Emily said.

“Okay. But Emily...”, JJ said.

“What?”, Emily asked.

“It’s okay...”, JJ said.

“I don’t even know what okay is anymore...”, Emily sniffled.

“We’ll find him.”, JJ said.

“I’m put in this position way too many times with him.”, Emily said.

“We’ll find him, okay?”, JJ said.

“Yeah.”, Emily sighed and hung up, taking a deep breath and looking all around until the CSU showed up and started combing through everything and photographing the whole apartment, taping things off and marking it all. Emily helped go through their things, looking for anything out of the ordinary when she got a call from Garcia.

“Garcia, talk to me.”, she said.

“So nobody by Hotch’s name has showed up in any hospital but there was a John Doe who was dropped off at one matching his description with Derek’s credentials.”, Garcia said.

“Send me the address, I’m on my way.”, Emily said, running out of their apartment.

Emily drove to the hospital and ran inside, up to the nurses station. “I called about Agent Hotchner. He was brought in as a John Doe with-“, Emily said.

“Right over here.”, the nurse said, walking her into his room.

“Oh my god, Aaron.”, she said, walking in.

“He’s still out but should be awake soon.”, the nurse said.

“What happened?”, Emily asked, rushing to his side and taking his hand.

“Multiple stab wounds. He was kicked around a bit as well... the surgeon repaired a lot but it’s gonna be a bit of recovery. He should be okay though.”, the nurse said.

“Thank you.”, Emily said, rolling her lips in as the nurse nodded and walked out, sliding the door closed.

Emily pulled up a chair to his side and sat down. She grabbed his hand again and stroked his hair, finally allowing herself to cry. She shed more than a few tears and waited for him to wake up. After a while, she texted JJ to let her know where Hotch was and that she was with him and to tell everyone else.

After an hour, Emily felt Hotch’s hand move in hers slightly and heard him groan. She opened her eyes after resting them for a bit. 

“Aaron? Aaron, are you awake?”, she asked frantic.

“Where am I?”, he asked quietly.

“Aaron, Honey?”, she said.

“Where am I?”, he asked again.

“You’re in the hospital. Sweetie, can you look at me?”, she asked.

“Em?”, he said, slowly opening his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m right here. I’m right here, sweetie.”, she said, stroking his hand and his hair.

“Emily.”, he said, trying to squeeze her hand.

“ _Hey_.”, she smiled. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

“What happened?”, he asked. She sighed and brought her hand to his face. “Emily, what happened?”, he asked again, not quite at full volume, still weak.

“Foyet...”, she said.

“Foyet...”, he said.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“Are you okay?”, he asked her.

“Physically, yes. Emotionally and mentally, not at all.”, she said.

“Honey...”, he said.

“What? What is it?”, she asked, scooting even closer.

“What did he take?”, he asked.

“What?”, she said.

“Foyet. What did he take? He always takes something from his victims.”, he said.

“I- I don’t know. Nothing seemed to be missing from our apartment.”, she said.

“No, he always takes something.”, he said.

“Um... I looked through everything but- oh...”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“The address book. The B section was torn out.”, she said.

He gulped. “Haley’s maiden name is Brooks. Hand me my bag of my clothes.”, he said.

She got up and handed him his clothes. He looked through everything and took out his wallet. He saw a picture of him and Emily and Haley together with Jack with blood on it.

“Oh my god...”, Emily whispered.

“Call JJ. Get a SWAT team to the house for Haley and Jack.”, he said. She nodded and stepped out to make the phone call and came back in after. 

She walked over to his bed and sat on the edge. She took his hand and stroked it with her thumb.

“Honey, I’m so sorry for everything I said yesterday.”, she said.

“Don’t.”, he said.

“Sorry...”, she dropped her head.

“No, I mean don’t apologize. Come here.”, he reached for her face and brought her lips to his, resting her forehead on his. “How did you find me?”

“I went to the apartment to check on you and saw the bullet hole and blood.”, she said.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“I’m _fine_ . Stop worrying about _me_. You’re the one in the hospital.”, she said, pulling back, looking at him. “What the hell did he do to you?”, she said, finally starting to cry.

“Please don’t cry, hun.”, he said.

“No. I _will_ cry. You’re in the hospital. You were stabbed. You could’ve died. If I went home with you last night, this wouldn’t have happened.”, she cried.

“Yes it would’ve. I’m glad you didn’t come home last night. You could’ve been hurt too.”, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said, biting her lip before she stood up and grabbed a tissue, beginning to sob.

“Emily, come here.”, he said, reaching his arm out for her. 

She walked back to him and sat in the chair, resting her head on the bed as he stroked her hair.

After a while, Emily saw JJ walk up to his room and opened the door, stepping in.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”, she asked.

“I’m alive.”, he said.

“Oh well good.”, JJ lightly laughed.

“Where’s Haley and Jack?”, he asked.

“SWAT got them. They’re okay. They’re on their way here now.”, she said.

“Okay. Thank god.”, he exhaled.

“And everyone else?”, Emily asked.

“Just a few seconds behind me.”, JJ said.

Emily stood up fast and wiped her eyes, throwing away the tissues before everyone walked in.

“Hey man, how are you feeling?”, Derek asked.

“I’m fine.”, Hotch said, sitting up.

“You’re okay?”, Spencer asked.

“I’ll be fine.”, Hotch said.

“You really gave us a scare.”, Rossi said.

“So I’ve heard.”, Hotch said, looking at Emily and took a deep breath.

“I appreciate you guys coming here and... I’m glad you’re all in here right now...”, he said.

“What’s going on?”, Derek asked.

“There’s... something I’ve been wanting to tell you all... for a long time now... and I realize this may not be a good time but... I need to right now because... well I need to.”, Hotch said.

“What is it?”, Spencer asked.

“Haley isn’t the only one that needs protection.”, Hotch said.

“Okay. Who else?”, Derek asked.

Hotch looked at Emily who looked back at him confused. He took a deep breath and faced everyone else again.

“Emily.”, he said.

“What? Why?”, Spencer asked.

“What are you doing?”, Emily whispered to Hotch.

“Foyet is going after the ones who I love the most... Emily needs protection too.”, Hotch said.

“I’m not following...”, Derek said.

Hotch took another deep breath and stared at Emily. He reached for her hand and took it. He watched her eyes grow even wider but held on.

“I need Emily to have protection.”, Hotch said.

“Hotch... what...”, Derek said, looking back and forth between him and Emily.

“ _What are you doing?_ ”, Emily whispered through her teeth to Hotch.

“Emily, I love you. I’m not letting anything happen to you and I’m not holding that back anymore.”, he told her. He looked back to everyone else to see the shocked looks on their faces. “I need Emily to be protected because Foyet left this picture and might try to hurt her. I need Emily to be protected because there were pictures of us together in our apartment. I need Emily to be protected because he’s going to go after people I love the most. I need Emily to be protected because she is in danger. I need Emily to be protected because I love her.”, he said. He paused and let everyone process what he just said. 

“What?”, Spencer said.

“Aaron...”, Emily looked over at him with more tears in her eyes.

“Em, I’m sorry I’ve been such a coward. You were right. I should’ve done this a long time ago... I’m so sorry but I’m saying it now, okay? I’m saying it now.”, Hotch said. She smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand.

“What are you saying?”, Derek asked.

“I’m saying that I can’t let my girlfriend be a target. So do I need to make the call myself?”, Hotch asked.

“You guys are-“, Spencer started.

“Together. Yes. Emily is my girlfriend. I love her and I need someone to make a damn phone call now.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, calm down.”, she whispered.

“It feels good to say.”, he laughed.

“I’ll... go ahead and do it.”, JJ said, stepping outside and making the call.

“I need a minute...”, Derek said, stepping out.

“Um... congratulations?”, Spencer said awkwardly, trying to let a small laugh pass. “How long has this...”

“Close to a year and a half.”, Hotch said.

“Are you kidding me?!”, Spencer said.

“I’m really sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, it’s just-“, Emily started.

“I’m happy for you guys... really.”, Spencer smiled.

“Really?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, I mean... I never would have thought... but it makes sense that... I mean... wow...”, Spencer said, still amazed.

“Yeah.”, she laughed.

“I don’t know why Derek is so-“, Spencer started.

“I guess if we’re all being honest today... Derek and I briefly... were together you could say. I think he still holds onto that a bit maybe?”, Emily said.

“What?!”, Spencer said.

“Yeah, I’m with him on that one.”, Rossi said.

“You weren’t here when that was going on.”, Emily told Rossi.

“Still. I’ve known about _this_ for a while. How did I not know about _you and Derek._ ”, he said.

“Wait, you knew about Emily and Hotch?”, Spencer asked him.

“Before they even admitted it. Catch on, kid.”, Rossi laughed.

“How did we miss this?”, Spencer asked.

“I guess we are better at hiding it than others.”, Hotch chuckled and winced in pain.

“Honey, don’t. Your stitches.”, Emily said, touching Hotch’s shoulder, endearingly.

“ _Honey?_ ”, Spencer said.

“I’m sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable...?”, she asked.

“No, no. Just... gonna take some getting used to is all.”, Spencer said.

“That’s understandable.”, Emily nodded.

“So... you guys live together?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, Hotch said.

“And Jack...”, Spencer said.

“Is with us on the weekends.”, Hotch nodded.

“So Haley...”, Spencer said.

“...and I are friends.”, Emily said.

“Seriously?”, Spencer asked.

“Yep.”, she nodded. “Do you mind if we have a minute?”, she asked.

“We’ll get outta here for a few.”, Rossi said, grabbing Spencer and pulling him outside, leaving Emily and Hotch alone.

“Aaron!”, she said, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t discuss that with you before I did it but I need you safe. That’s more important than keeping us a secret and... it was time.”, he said, looking at her deep.

She smiled and grabbed his face softly, crashing her lips onto his. She pulled back and said, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking right now. Someone might see us and-“, she said, turning around.

“I don’t care.”, he said, bringing her face back to his and smiled, guiding her lips to his again.

“I love you so much.”, she said.

“I love you too, hun.”, he said.

“Daddy!”, Jack yelled.

“Wha- _hey, buddy._ ”, Hotch said as Emily scooted over for him to climb onto the bed with her help.

“Be careful sweetie. Your daddy got hurt.”, Emily said.

“What happened?”, Jack looked sad all of a sudden.

“Nothing, buddy. I just got a little hurt so I can’t do a big hug but you can still give me a hug. Just... careful.”, Hotch said.

“Are you okay?”, Jack asked as he gave him a hug.

“I’m gonna be okay, yeah.”, Hotch said, starting to tear up.

“What’s wrong?”, Jack asked as he pulled back.

“Nothing, buddy. Everything’s okay.”, Hotch smiled.

“ _Emmy_.”, Jack said, falling into Emily’s arms.

“Emmy?”, she laughed.

“It’s your nickname.”, Jack said.

“Oh, well, I love it.”, she said, squeezing him, knowing it’d be their last time getting to for a while.

“What’s wrong?”, Jack frowned when he pulled away.

“Nothing’s wrong.”, she said.

“You’re crying.”, Jack said.

“I’m just really happy to see you.”, she said, wiping away her tears and ruffling his hair with a smile.

“Hey, Jack.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah?”, he said.

“I want to tell you something.”, Hotch said.

“Okay.”, Jack said.

“I love you. More than anything. I love you and mommy and Emily more than anything and... I can’t see you for a while... but I want you to know that has nothing to do with how much I love you, okay?”, he said with a wobbly voice.

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Think of it like when Emily and I have to go away for work. Only this time, you and mommy get to take a trip.”, Hotch said.

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Because sometimes new things pop up in life... Mommy has a new job somewhere and you guys get to go live there for a little but it won’t be for a long time, okay?”, Hotch said.

“Why can’t you come?”, Jack asked.

“Because we have a job here that we have to stay for but we’ll send you videos all the time and you can send us fun videos too, alright?”, Hotch said.

“What videos?”, Jack asked.

“Saying _hi_ and maybe you could take a funny one or show me how you’re learning to ride your bike. You’re really close to using the two big wheels, right?”, Hotch nodded.

“Yeah...”, Jack said with a sad face.

“Okay. Then send me one of those, alright?”, Hotch said.

“Okay... Are you staying here too?”, Jack asked Emily.

“Yeah... I am.”, Emily frowned. “But I’ll be thinking of you everyday and I expect a lot of drawings from you while you’re gone.”, she laughed, sniffling.

“Okay...”, Jack frowned.

“Hey, look at me.”, Hotch said to Jack. “We’ll be thinking of you everyday, alright? And we’ll see you soon... don’t worry.”

“Okay...”, Jack said.

“Gimme a hug.”, Hotch said.

Jack leaned forward and gave Hotch and Emily a group hug as they both rubbed his back and gave him a kiss on the head.

Haley walked in and Emily looked up and nodded. “Hey, sweetie. Wanna go get some candy from the vending machine?”, she asked Jack. He nodded and she picked him up, carrying him out and smiling at Haley on the way out of the room. They walked down the hall and met up with everyone.

“Uncle Dave!”, Jack said, reaching over for Rossi.

“Hey, Jack, come here.”, he said reaching for him. He held him and gave him a high five.

“Oh my god, I should’ve called Sean.”, Emily said.

“He’s already on his way. He should be here any minute.”, Rossi said.

“You called him?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I called him earlier. I thought he’d want to see Jack before they left and also Aaron.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, Emily smiled. “Hey, Jack, what do you want?”

“Chocolate.”, he said.

“Reese’s cups?”, she asked.

“Yeah!”, he said.

“Alright, you got it.”, she said, putting in the dollar bill and pressing the buttons. 

Derek walked over to her and she turned around. “Derek... I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.”, she said.

Before he said anything, he opened his arms and gave her a hug. “Emily, don’t apologize.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said, holding back tears and hugging him tight.

“I’m sorry this is happening, I’m sorry this... I’m here for you guys.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she sniffled.

“It’s gonna be okay.”, he said, pulling back, grabbing the candy for her.

“ _Thank_ _you_.”, she smiled. He rubbed her back and walked over to Spencer and JJ. “Here you go, buddy.”, she said to Jack, opening the candy and pulling one out for him. He took it and wiggled out of Rossi’s arms walking over to the others, as JJ picked him up and sat him on her lap. 

A few minutes later, Sean rushed in and looked in Hotch’s room, passing it once he saw Haley in there, talking with him. He walked over to Emily and she went in for a hug when she spotted him.

“Whoa.”, he said.

“They know.”, she told him.

“Okay, good because I really need a hug.”, he chuckled, squeezing her tight.

“Me too.”, she said.

She pulled back and he looked at her and she could tell he’d been crying to her surprise. “Is he okay? Is he gonna be okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah, he will be. But... Jack and Haley are going into Protection...”, she said.

“ _What?_ ”, he asked.

“Yeah. So just... go spend time with him before they leave...”, she said.

“Yeah, sure.”, he nodded, walking over to Jack.

“Uncle Sean!”, he said, running up to him.

Emily went over to everyone and spent some of their last time with each other for a while until Haley came out. Emily saw her stand outside Hotch’s room and she got up and walked over to her. Haley looked up at Emily and Emily could instantly see the tears running down her face.

“Emily...”, she said as they opened their arms and hugged each other tight. 

Emily finally let it all out, holding Haley close, knowing she wouldn’t see her for a while. They both cried it out with each other until she finally pulled back. 

“How am I supposed to do this?”, Haley asked.

“You just will. You’re _strong_ , Haley.”, Emily smiled.

“We’ll take videos everyday.”, Haley said.

“ _Please_.”, Emily said.

Haley nodded and gave her one last hug before she called Jack over. He gave Emily one more hug and ran into Hotch’s room to do the same before the U.S. Marshal walked them out. Emily looked back at everyone and turned away before she lost it. She walked back into Hotch’s room and slid the door closed.

“Honey, are you okay?”, he asked. She stood by his side and shook her head. “Come here.”, he said, struggling to slide over and patting the side of the bed. She kicked her shoes off and got in the bed, curling up next to him.

He put his arm under her and held her close as she wrapped her arm over to the side of his head and held his face, stroking it and his hair. She pressed her forehead to the side of his and kissed his cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.”, she said.

“Me too.”, he whispered, trying to calm her. 

“I’m sorry but I’m just gonna miss them so much and I’m so scared for you.”, she said, starting to ball her eyes out.

“I know. Me too.”, he said, letting tears out as well. “Me too...”

“I don’t know what we’re gonna do.”, she cried.

“I know, hun. I know.”, he said, turning his head and kissing her forehead.

“I’m sorry.”, she sniffled.

“Don’t be. I’m in the same boat.”, he said.

“I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay.”, she said, rubbing his head.

“I love you too.”, he said.

She stayed with him like that until Sean came over and knocked on the door before walking in, sliding it closed behind him. Emily didn’t even bother getting off the bed but instead, they just sat up.

“Hey man, how are you feeling?”, Sean asked, walking over and sitting on the edge and putting his hand on Emily’s. “Both of you.” She took his and squeezed it.

“Better than earlier... in one way...”, Hotch said.

“Jack wanted me to give this to you guys. He forgot to I guess.”, Sean chuckled, handing them a drawing Jack made, making Emily cry again.

“It’s so cute.”, she said.

“Why’d he draw a dog?”, Hotch laughed, wiping a tear away.

“I have no idea.”, Sean said.

“He was talking the other day about how he wants one. I guess Sophia was telling him about their yellow lab and it looks like he tried to draw one here.”, Emily smiled.

“Maybe we’ll get one whenever he’s back.”, Hotch said.

“Your building allows pets?”, Sean asked.

“Some but I’m pretty sure that breed is allowed. Maybe it could be a dog we share with Haley. That way it’s with Jack all the time and has someone with it 24/7.”, Hotch said.

“I think he’d like that a lot.”, Emily said.

“Aaron... what happened?”, Sean asked.

“A serial killer happened.”, Hotch sighed.

“Well yeah but...”, Sean said.

“I didn’t play by his rules. He didn’t like that I take it.”, Hotch said.

“Well no shit...”, Sean said.

“I’d rather not talk about that right now though so...”, Hotch said.

“Right. Got it. Um, so you guys told people?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah. I finally got the courage to do it.”, Hotch said.

“You always had it. You were just being stupid.”, Emily giggled and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah. What _she_ said.”, Hotch chuckled.

“So what changed your mind now though?”, Sean asked.

“I almost died. I couldn’t wait any longer and this crazy son of a bitch is targeting people I love. I can’t take any risks and that’s also why I’ve asked for someone to be watching you too.”, Hotch said.

“ _Me?_ ”, Sean asked.

“Yeah man. I love you. You’re my brother. He goes after people closest to me.”, Hotch said.

“Can I ask one thing? It’s just not adding up. I’m sorry, I heard you and I love you too but this really doesn’t make sense.”, Sean said.

“What?”, Hotch asked.

“I’m glad he didn’t but... why didn’t he kill you and... why did he drop you at the hospital?”, Sean asked.

“Making sure my family is sent away and that I won’t be able to know where they are or see them... seeing me in pain from that is better than killing me and he wants me to know that _he_ is in control and _he_ has the power. He wants me to know that he can choose... whether I live or die. That’s what it is for him. That’s how he thinks. That’s what he wants.”, Hotch said.

“Well... I’m glad he didn’t kill you at least...”, Sean said.

“Yeah, me too.”, Hotch said.

“I’m here for whatever you need. Whatever both of you need.”, Sean said.

“Thanks, man.”, Hotch said.

“I’ll uh- I’ll let you guys have some time.”, Sean nodded, standing up.

“Actually, you can tell everyone else to come in if they want.”, Hotch said.

“Alright.”, Sean said, walking out.

Emily started to get up but Hotch gently pulled her back down. “Stay here.”, he said.

“Aaron, people are about to come in. What if they get all weird or stare or...?”, she asked.

“So let them.”, he said, pulling her back into him and giving her a kiss right as Spencer knocked on the door. They broke apart from their kiss and she blushed. “Come in.”

“You up for some company? Or... _extra_ company I guess.”, he asked, awkwardly, staring at Emily in his arms.

“Yeah, definitely.”, Hotch said as everyone filed in.

“Look at the happy couple.”, Derek smiled.

“Okay, this is weird...”, Emily looked down. “I’m working now.”

“No, you’re not.”, Hotch said.

“What?”, she asked.

“You’re taking a personal day because your boyfriend is in the hospital. You’re not working anymore.”, he said.

“You can’t just do that.”, she said.

“Oh, I absolutely can. I’m your boss.”, he smiled.

She stared at him until she smiled back and almost went in for a kiss but remembered there were people there.

“Fine. I guess I can live with that.”, she said.

“So... I think some of us have some questions...”, Derek said.

“Yeah, I would assume so.”, Hotch said.

“When did this start?”, Derek asked.

“Right before my birthday last year.”, Emily said.

“Seriously?! That long ago?”, Spencer said.

“Yep.”, Emily said.

“Okay. Um... how long have you lived together?”, Derek asked.

“About a year.”, Hotch said.

“ _Seriously?!_ ”, Spencer said.

“ _Yes_ , Spence.”, JJ said.

“Wait, you knew?”, he asked.

“I’ve known almost the whole time.”, she said.

“Wow...”, he said.

“If we’re all being honest here... I’ve known for a while too but they only recently told me the truth.”, Rossi said. 

“Oh ho ho.”, Derek laughed. “You know who’s gonna freak?”, he grinned.

“ _Garcia_.”, Emily said.

“Mmhmm.”, Derek said.

“How are we gonna do that?”, Hotch looked at Emily.

“I don’t know... but in person, definitely.”, she said.

“The doctor said I can leave in a couple days. Let’s surprise her at work.”, he said.

“You are _not_ coming back to work that soon.”, Emily said.

“Calm down, hun. I’m just saying we can surprise her at work and... besides... I’ll talk to Strauss then.”, he said, taking her hand.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said, giving her a kiss, making her blush.

“Oooo someone’s blushing.”, Derek laughed.

Emily buried her face in Hotch’s neck and he chuckled, rubbing her back. She turned back to Derek and gave him the finger.

“I see, I see.”, he said.

“Okay but how did all of this start?”, Spencer asked.

“Uhhhh...”, Emily said, looking to Hotch, knowing they needed to leave a few details out.

“Well we had a friendship we had started along with feelings that were building for a while I guess and... Haley left one night, Emily came over to be there for me and we haven’t been apart since.”, Hotch said, looking at her and she smiled, approving of his mainly true version.

“Wow... I’m still in shock.”, Spencer said.

“ _We know._ ”, Emily laughed. 

“I’m just so glad you guys know now. I’m sorry we kept it from you all for so long. I didn’t know how to come out with it and I was honestly scared of telling Strauss. Scared of what might happen to my career but after what just happened... I realize that my job is not the most important thing in my life and I really saw just how important the things are that trump it.”, Hotch said.

“I think I speak for all of us when I say we’re really happy for you guys but I think we also deserve some kind of late house warming party.”, Derek said.

“Deal.”, Emily said.

“I just wish Jack could be there.”, Hotch said, looking down.

“Honey...”, Emily whispered in his ear, stroking his hair. “I know... me too.”

“It’s fine. We’ll do something fun.”, he said, nodding.

“Great. But only once you’re better.”, Derek said.

“Yeah, definitely.”, Hotch winced in pain when he tried to sit up more.

“Um, we’ll let you rest but we’ll be back later to check on you, alright?”, Spencer said.

“Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.”, Hotch said as they all walked out except Emily. He tried sitting up more again and moving his legs off the bed.

“Aaron, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”, Emily asked him.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”, he said.

“So let me get a nurse.”, she said.

“I can do it on my own.”, he said.

“Like hell you can. Sit and stay. I’ll be right back.”, she said, walking out to grab a nurse.

“I’m not a dog.”, he said.

She walked back in with a nurse who helped him up and into the bathroom. They came back out after a minute Emily helped lay him back down in bed.

“Em, this is just like when I got shot all over again. I didn’t need your help then and I don’t now. I just need cuddles so come here.”, he said.

“Aaron... accept help sometimes, okay?”, she said, scooting back on the bed, curling up next to him again.

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”, he said, wrapping his arm around her.

“You’re so stubborn.”, she said.

“I became a little less stubborn today, don’t you think?”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, definitely.”, she grinned, kissing him. “ _Thank you_... for telling everyone. I know we still have to tell Strauss but I’ll come with you when you do that. I won’t let you do it alone.”, she said.

“Okay. We’ll do it together.”, he said.

“Alright. Good.”, she smiled.

“Thank you for being the most amazing girlfriend I could ever ask for.”, he said.

“You’re welcome.”, she said, giving him a kiss. “Thank _you_ for being my _favorite_ boyfriend.”, she laughed.

“Oh, you’re so welcome.”, he chuckled.

“I’m gonna let you get some rest.”, she said, starting to sit up more before he grabbed her and pulled her back.

“No, please stay.”, he said.

“Are you sure? You need rest.”, she said.

“And I rest better with you by my side. Unless the doctor kicks you out, I want you here with me.”, he said.

“I can’t say _no_ to that.”, she said, cuddling back up in his arms.

“Good. Thank you.”, he said, kissing her head.

“I missed you last night. I almost called you twice but I was drunk and JJ took the phone out of my hands both times.”, Emily laughed.

“I almost called you right before I entered the apartment but instead I put my phone back in my pocket and stepped inside to...”, he said.

“Honey, I’m so sorry... I feel so bad I wasn’t there. The _one night_ I’m not home...”, she said.

“No. Don’t do that to yourself.”, he said.

“Aaron...?”, she asked.

“What?”, he said.

“Will you tell me what happened?”, she asked.

“Please don’t cry.”, he said.

“You know I can’t promise that.”, she said.

“ _Try_ not to?”, he asked.

“I’ll try.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said and took a deep breath before he started.

  
  



	77. And Finally The Truth pt. 2

**Chapter 77**

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Later that next week, Hotch was out of the hospital and at home resting. Emily had been taking care of him while he was on strict bed rest but of course, he almost never listened. 

On Friday, Emily was already back at work after taking a couple days off to be there for him at home. She was working hard, deep into a file, when all of a sudden she heard his voice. She spun around in her chair and her jaw dropped when she saw him walk over to her.

“Aaron! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at home! How did you get here?”, she asked, standing up.

“I wanted to come see you on your lunch break. I brought you a sandwich.”, he smiled, holding up a paper bag.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked again.

“Good to see you too, hun.”, he chuckled and gave her a kiss.

“You’re supposed to be on bed rest. _How did you get here?_ ”, she asked, taking the bag and setting it on her desk.

“That would be my fault. He called me and I drove him.”, Will said, walking in, pushing Henry in his stroller.

“Will?!”, JJ called over to him, walking out of her office. 

“Hey...”, he ducked. “She’s gonna kill me, you know that, right?”, he said to Hotch.

“You brought Henry. It’ll completely distract her.”, Hotch laughed.

“ _Aaron_.”, Emily said.

“Yes, honey.”, he said, grabbing her hand and flashing a smile.

“No.”, she said, pointing a finger at him.

“Why do you keep talking to me like I’m a dog?”, he asked.

“Because you’re not behaving!”, she said.

“ _Okay_. Let’s go.”, he said.

“Go where?”, she asked.

“To Garcia.”, he said.

“You wanna tell her _now?_ ”, she asked.

“I’ve waited all week.”, he said.

“Yeah, because you’ve been in the hospital and then on _bed rest_ . Or at least you were _supposed to be_ on bed rest.”, she glared at him.

“I will get back in bed for the rest of the day and night when I get home, I promise.”, he said.

“You are very frustrating, Aaron Hotchner.”, she said.

“But you love me anyways.”, he said, taking her hand and walking to Garcia’s office. Emily swiped her card and he typed in the pin code, walking in. 

“Oh! Sir! Hello! Nice jeans! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home? Resting? How are you feeling?”, Garcia asked, turning around to face them.

“Yeah, I’m a bit defiant I guess.”, he said.

“A _bit?_ ”, Emily said.

He rolled his eyes. “Anyways. We had some news we wanted to share with you earlier but we wanted to do it in person and couldn’t exactly earlier this week.”, Hotch said.

“Okay...”, Garcia said.

“How do we say this?”, Emily asked him.

“Well...”, he said, putting his arm around her and kissing her cheek. “Like that.”, he smiled, looking over at Garcia who looked like she was about to faint.

“Oh my god!”, she screamed, jumping out of her seat. “You guys are together?! Like... actually together?!”, she pointed at them, from one to the other, grinning ear to ear.

“Yes. Calm down.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh my goodness, all my hopes and dreams have come true! I can’t believe it!”, Garcia squealed.

“What?”, Emily said.

“I have been wanting you two to get together for the longest time!”, Garcia said.

“Seriously?”, Hotch asked.

“Seriously! Oh I’m so happy! Group hug! Oh!”, Garcia said, squeezing them both. “How long? How long has this match been made?”, she smirked.

“About a year and half?”, Hotch said.

“What?!”, she yelled.

Hotch suddenly looked frightened. “Uh...”, he said.

“You guys have been together for a year and a half and haven’t told me until _now?!_ ”, she said.

“ _Almost_ a year and a half. We haven’t told _anyone_ at work until now.”, Emily said.

“So am I the first one to know?”, Garcia asked.

“You’re not the _last_ to know...”, Emily said.

“Aw come on! Everyone knows already?”, Garcia said.

“Strauss doesn’t! And that’s one more person I came here to tell today.”, Hotch said.

“You really wanna tell her today? Right now?”, Emily asked.

“Yes. I do. I don’t wanna waste another minute.”, he said.

“You’re just gonna walk in there, unannounced and tell her?”, she asked.

“No. Of course not. I scheduled a time to meet with her today.”, he said, checking his watch. “And we better get going because that’s in five minutes.”, he said.

“ _We?_ ”, she asked.

“Yeah, we are doing this together.”, he said.

“Oh my god. I’m not ready for _that_ . I’m not prepared. I have no idea what I’m going to _say_.”, she told him.

“Here. Take this.”, Garcia said, handing her a little toy unicorn from her desk. ”It always makes me feel better.”

“No, that’s okay. Thank you.”, Emily smiled.

“We talked about this the other night. You can do it.”, he said.

“I’m having Will take you home after this and I’m making sure you don’t get out of bed for the next few days.”, she said.

“Wait what? Do you guys live together?!”, Garcia asked.

“Oh... yeah. We didn’t mention that...?”, Emily asked.

“No!”, Garcia said.

“Okay, well, before you bite our heads off, we’re gonna go but I’ll see you next week.”, he said.

“No, you won’t. You’re staying home next week.”, Emily said.

“Okay, hun.”, he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“ _Hun!_ Oh my god! You guys are killing me! Cuteness overload! This discussion is not over, you two.”, Garcia said.

“ _Bye Garcia_.”, Emily giggled as they walked out and headed to Strauss’ office.

Once they approached her door, Emily shook out her hands and looked up at Hotch, nervous.

“It’s okay. Whatever happens, it’s okay.”, he said before knocking.

Strauss opened the door and stopped. “Agent Prentiss. What can I do for you?”, she asked.

“I’d like it if she joined us, seeing as what I’d like to talk about, concerns her as well.”, Hotch said.

“Alright... come in.”, Strauss said, walking back to her desk. “Please, take a seat. So, what is it exactly that you wanted to discuss? Shouldn’t you be at home?”, she asked.

“Yes and I’m going there right after this but I didn’t feel that this could wait much longer.”, he said, looking over at Emily and back to Strauss. “I’d like to officially report a relationship involving me and another agent here and I understand any consequences there may be due to these actions _and_ this statement.”, he said flat out.

“Agent Prentiss?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said.

“You’re _officially_ stating that you’re in a romantic relationship with Agent Prentiss.”, Strauss said.

“Yes.”, he said.

“How long has this been... going on for?”, she asked.

“About a year and a half.”, he said.

“ _A year and a half?_ ”, she repeated.

“Yes, ma’am.”, he said.

“Is this true?”, she asked Emily.

“Yes, it is.”, Emily gulped.

“And you have failed to report this until just now?”, Strauss asked him.

“That’s correct.”, he nodded.

“Agent Prentiss, you’re free to go. _Agent Hotchner_ , I’d appreciate it if you stayed back.”, she raised her eyebrows.

Emily paused and looked over at Hotch. “No, I think I’d like to stay.”, Emily said.

“That wasn’t a request.”, Strauss said and glared at her.

“Yes ma’am.”, Emily nodded and stood up.

“Go ahead and just get back to work. Just... continue about your normal day, alright? We can discuss this more later.”, Strauss said.

“Of course.”, Emily nodded again before walking out.

Strauss stared at him once the door closed and furrowed her brows. “ _A year and a half?_ ”, she asked.

“I would just like to say that we aren’t just sleeping together. This isn’t some workplace fling or scandal you have to worry about. That’s not on my agenda either. We live together.”, he said.

“You _live_ together?”, her eyes widened.

“Yes.”, he said.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you’re telling me right now?”, she asked.

“Yes, I’m fully aware. And I’m willing to receive any consequence you see fit but if I can say just one thing... in _no way_ has my relationship with Emily affected either of our work abilities at all. We have remained completely professional while we are on duty including on cases and off. Every time we are inside this building or at a hotel or out in the field for work, we are professional. We leave everything personal we have for each other at home and don’t let anything get mixed up and we’ve been able to make that work this whole time so before you make any decision... please consider that. And if you’re looking to punish anyone, take it out on me. I’m the one that was in the authority position. She didn’t go against any guidelines. We equally pursued this but I am her boss. I feel that this should come down on me if it does for anyone. She shouldn’t have to suffer any punishment for this. Please.”, he said.

“Well... you sure have given me _a lot_ to think about.”, she said.

“I understand.”, he said.

“I’ll need some time to go over all this and discuss it with the higher ups as I’m sure you can also understand.”, she said.

“Of course.”, he said.

“Alright... you can go.”, she said.

“I’m sorry but... am I suspended?”, he asked.

“Honestly, Aaron, I’m not quite sure yet. You’re still on medical leave so... we’ll keep it that way until further notice and I’ll be in touch.”, she said.

“Understood.”, he said, standing up. “Thank you... for your time today.”

“Get better.”, she said. 

“Thank you.”, he said before he walked out. 

He headed back to the unit and walked over to Emily’s desk to find her fiddling with her pen and biting her fingernails. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around her over her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head and she spun around in her chair as he helped her up.

“What happened? Are you fired? Did she suspend you? Are you okay?”, she asked.

“No official word yet but I’m not technically suspended. I’m just going to stay on medical leave until further notice.”, he said.

“Oh my god. That’s practically suspending you. This is all my fault. I’ve been pushing you to tell and-“, she said.

“Honey, listen to me, this was what we had to do and this is not your fault at all. I told you. We’re in this together, alright?”, he said, holding her sides.

She nodded and he pulled her in for a hug until JJ came up to them with Henry. “Your godson would like to see you.”, she said.

“Ooo gimme gimme gimme.”, Hotch said, taking him. 

“Is this so you can go yell at Will?”, Emily asked.

“Of course.”, JJ said, walking over to him.

“Looks like I’m not the only one getting scolded today.”, Hotch said.

“Oh, I’m not done with you.”, Emily scowled.

“Come on Henry, let’s go say _hi_ to Penelope. She’s a lot nicer, huh? _Yes. Yes, she is._ ”, he said in a cute baby voice.

“ _Wait_.”, Emily pouted, bringing her sandwich. They walked into her office and sat down with her.

“Oh my goodness! Henry! Hi! Oh look at you! He’s gotten so big! Can you believe how big he’s gotten? He’s so big!”, Garcia said.

“Yeah, we’ve noticed.”, Hotch laughed.

“You guys look so cute with him.”, she said.

“JJ and Will asked us to be his godparents after he was born.”, Emily said.

“No way!”, Garcia said.

“Yeah.”, Emily chuckled.

“You guys would be such cute parents.”, Garcia said.

Hotch and Emily looked at each other and smiled as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“Wait a minute... are you pregs?”, Garcia gasped.

“No! No, no! Definitely not. I don’t think so...”, Emily said, questioning it. 

“No. You’re not.”, he said.

“And you know...?”, she asked.

“I have lots of time to do nothing right now. We have a calendar. I know how to calculate this type of thing.”, he chuckled.

“Okay, good. I guess I’ll leave it all to you from now on.”, she said.

“Okay, I can deal with that.”, he smiled before leaning in for a kiss.

“Oh my god! _You guys!_ ”, Garcia squealed. “Please tell me I’ll get a little niece or nephew soon enough.”

“We’ll see.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh it’s gonna have good hair. Hotch, you have a full head of hair. Men your age don’t always... you know and Emily yours is pretty thick. Oh it’s gonna have good genes. Besides... your guys’ eyes.”, Garcia said

“ _Men my age?_ ”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Honey, calm down.”, Emily said to him. “Don’t worry, I say it to him all the time.”, she laughed.

“Sir...”, she said.

“You’re _fine, Garcia._ ”, he said.

“Oh thank god.”, she said.

“You don’t have to be like that. You’re not working right now.”, Emily said.

“Like _what?_ ”, he asked.

“Bossy. You’re not our boss right now.”, she said.

“ _I’m not being bossy_.”, he said.

“You’re acting...”, Emily said.

“I’m acting like _what?_ ”, he raised his eyebrow.

“Is this what your guys’ fights are like?”, Garcia asked.

“No. Those are either nothing and we make up right away or they’re really bad.”, Emily said.

“Really? _Really?_ ”, Hotch said.

“Oh no. Did I just start one? Do you need me to hold Henry while you go yell?”, Garcia asked.

“ _No_. But if you wanna hold him, you can.”, Hotch said, handing him to her carefully.

“Okay so tell me everything.”, she said.

“It feels like everyone has been asking us that.”, Emily said.

“What do you wanna know?”, Hotch asked.

“What was the first thing you noticed about her?”, Garcia asked.

“Her smile.”, he said.

“Really? My smile? Nothing else?”, Emily said.

“I’ve never seen one like it before. It was the first time I met you when you were younger, back when I worked for your mom.”, he said.

“I think I noticed your voice first.”, she laughed.

“My _voice?_ ”, he asked.

“It sticks out.”, she said.

“What about when you first _saw_ me?”, he asked.

“Your piercing eyes and chiseled jaw.”, she said.

“Now I feel dumb for _just_ saying your smile.”, he said.

“Don’t.”, she said.

“It’s really the dimples, I gotta say. She kills me with that cute charm.”, he said.

“You have dimples too!”, she said.

“Nobody but you knows that.”, he said.

“You have dimples?!”, Garcia said. 

“Yes, he does and they are very cute.”, Emily said.

“ _Emily, no._ ”, he said right before she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Show her your dimples! Come on. Smile.”, she said.

“No. And no matter how many times you kiss me, I will not break.”, he said.

“Fine. I’ll just show her a picture.”, she said, pulling out her phone and clicking on a picture of them with Jack. She showed it to Garcia who smiled.

“Yes. He definitely has dimples.”, she said.

“Cute, right?”, Emily said.

“Don’t answer that.”, he said.

“I won’t.”, Garcia laughed. “That’s a really cute picture... Have you guys gotten any video from Jack and Haley yet?”

“No...”, Emily said, dropping her head and putting her phone back in her pocket.

“We should by next week.”, Hotch said, reaching to hold her hand.

“I’m sure he’s doing just fine.”, Garcia tried to reassure them. Emily nodded. “Um, okay so, let’s see... oh! Who said “ _I love you_ ” first?”

“He did.”, Emily said.

“How’d he do it? Romantic dinner? Did he take out? Did he say it at work?!”, Garcia asked.

“No... it was... during our first time be-“, Emily started.

“Em!”, he said.

“Sorry...”, she said.

“Oh... Say no more. I got it.”, Garcia giggled.

“She really has no filter. I’m sorry.”, Hotch said.

“It’s fine.”, Garcia said.

“What am I going to do with you?”, he said, looking over at Emily.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t know how to answer that.”, she said.

He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “What else?”, he asked.

“Oh god, I don’t know. I feel like I have a million questions.”, Garcia said.

“You can ask us anything. Well, anything other than what Emily started to say.”, he told her. 

“ _I’m sorry!_ ”, Emily said.

“No worries there. Um... I guess I just can’t believe this is really happening. How did you keep this from us for so long?”, Garcia asked.

“It’s not like we didn’t want to tell you all. It’s just...”, Emily said.

“I didn’t want to lose my job. But once I stopped being stupid and realized more that wasn’t the most important thing in my life and that Emily was potentially in danger... I had to make sure she was safe and that meant telling you guys and coming clean to Strauss but I’m glad I did. Because... now I can do this in front of people.”, he said, holding her face and bringing his lips to hers.

“Okay. Cute. Cute. Cute. So you’re telling me that almost the whole time I’ve been rooting for you guys to get together, you already were?”, she asked.

“I guess so.”, Hotch said.

“I’m so so happy for you.”, Garcia said.

“Thank you.”, Hotch said.

“Wait... is this why you would always call _just us_ in here whenever you got a lead on something instead of the others?”, Emily asked.

“Duh.”, Garcia said.

“And why you would never leave work at the end of the day at the same time as me?”, Hotch said.

“I was giving you guys alone time, hoping it would push things in the right direction which I guess it had so _maybe_ you could actually say I had something to do with this.”, she said.

“I don’t know about that. I fell in love with her the second I laid eyes on her. I just didn’t know it at the time.”, he said.

“You never told me that.”, Emily said.

“There’s not a lot I haven’t told you. But I gotta keep _some_ things from you or else there’ll be no surprises over time and I know how much you love those.”, he said.

“That is true but I got you all figured out, Hotchner.”, she said.

“That’s where you’re wrong, hun. I’ll keep you guessin’.”, he smirked.

“Alright, now _that_ worries me.”, she said.

“Don’t be worried. You know I’ll always take care of you.”, he said.

“I _do_.”, she smiled.

“Okay. More questions.”, Garcia said.

“Shoot.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, um, tell me how you first got together. As long as it’s appropriate...”, she said.

“ _Well_ ... Haley left one day. I came home after that case we had in Milwaukee and she was just gone when I came back. All her stuff. Emily and I were close at that point and I called her over, needing a friend and... she stayed with me that night and I guess we really _have_ been inseparable ever since.”, he said, squeezing her hand. 

“Just like that?”, Garcia asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.”, Emily said.

“When did you meet Jack?”, Garcia asked, regretting once she saw Emily and Hotch’s faces. “Oh... I’m sorry if that’s a sensitive topic right now. You don’t-“

“It’s fine. Um, it was right before she moved in. We waited for her to move in until she met Jack and Haley and they all hit off right away. Her and Haley are like best friends. It’s really great.”, he said, smiling at Emily and put his arm around her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Yeah.”, she nodded.

“Tell her about that time we took Jack ice skating. That’s a really funny story.”, he said, trying to cheer her up.

She smiled and leaned into him slightly. “It was before Christmas, there was this ice skating rink we went to and Jack had never been before. So he got so excited that right as we put his skates on, he just went for it and he stayed up for a few seconds! But then of course he fell on his butt. But because of the pants he was wearing, it was really puffy because he had on a lot of layers. He slid almost all the way down on the rink and was just giggling the whole way across.”, she laughed.

“It was hilarious. We had to hold his hand the rest of the night though so it didn’t happen again but... he had a great time.”, he said. 

“That was a fun night...”, Emily said.

Hotch rubbed her shoulder again and gave her a kiss on the head.

“Awww. What else? Tell me more cute, funny stories.”, Garcia said.

“Oh, on our anniversary, Aaron- wait- do I call you Aaron at work now that people know or should I still call you Hotch?”, Emily asked.

“ _Dave_ calls me _Aaron_.”, he said.

“So... I’ll call you _Aaron?_ ”, she asked.

“Sure.”, he said.

“Okay. Anyways, _Aaron_ was out getting flowers and donuts that morning while I was still asleep and Jack came running in and jumped on the bed, waking me up and wouldn’t tell me where he was. But he made a drawing of all of us together with a little note at the bottom saying “ _Happy 1 year of being me and daddy’s friend_.” but I don’t know if he really understood that they were different anniversaries but he wanted to be a part of something and it was really cute. And then Aaron came home and gave me the flowers and brought us all donuts but Jack went crazy over them. He tried to stuff a whole one in his mouth.”, she said.

“How’d that turn out?”, Garcia asked.

“Well, he didn’t succeed.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh my god, it’s just now coming back to me. This is why he ran up to her at your birthday party.”, Garcia said to Hotch.

“Yep. That would be it. We played it off pretty well though, right?”, he said.

“You didn’t pull anything off! Me and Haley had to come up with that on our own. You weren’t even there yet.”, Emily said.

“Okay, fine. _You guys_ pulled it off pretty well.”, he said.

“I mean, I definitely believed it.”, Garcia said.

“It’s just a relief to not have to hide it anymore.”, Emily said.

“I bet. I’m glad you’re not. I love seeing this.”, Garcia smiled.

“Good. I’m so happy people aren’t super judgemental about this. I really thought they would be.”, Emily said.

“ _I’m_ certainly not and it doesn’t sound like the others are either.”, Garcia said.

All of a sudden Hotch sneezed and winced in pain.

“Honey...”, Emily said.

“Hm?”, he said.

“I’m having Will drive you home now.”, she said.

“ _No!_ ”, he said.

“ _Yes, you’re in pain._ ”, she said.

“I’m fine.”, he said.

“No, you’re not. You shouldn’t even be out of bed, let alone out of the apartment, walking around.”, she said, standing and trying to help him up.

“ _No. Em. I wanna stay._ ”, he said.

“Stop whining. You’ve only been gone a week. Aaron, if you don’t get up, I’m gonna call in Derek to help me.”, she said.

“She’s strict.”, he said, looking over at Garcia.

“Usually that’s _you_.”, Garcia giggled.

“Yeah, well, why don’t you come over next weekend with everyone else? We’ll have a very late housewarming get together and you’ll see how _she’s_ the bossy one. I’m the _fun_ one at home.”, he said.

“That is _not_ true! I’m _plenty_ fun.”, she said.

“ _Okay_ , sweetie.”, he said.

“I _am!_ ”, she said.

“Alright, fine, we’ll go now before she sleeps on the couch because she can’t kick me out of the bed right now.”, he laughed.

“ _You’re_ going home. I have to stay the rest of the day and work.”, she said, finally bringing him to his feet and taking Henry back from Garcia. 

“I’d love to come over by the way. Can Kevin join? ”, Garcia asked.

“Absolutely. But let’s make sure he feels better by then.”, Emily said.

“I’d be willing to have people over _this_ weekend but you won’t let that happen.”, he said.

“You’re right. You’re not well enough for that yet. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. So let’s go and I’ll have Will take you home, okay?”, she said.

“Fine. Whatever. At least I got out.”, he said.

“It was good to see you, sir. Feel better and once again... _so happy about this!_ ”, Garcia squealed.

“You too, Garcia and thank you.”, he said, putting his arm around Emily and walked out, back to her desk.

“Okay, I want you to call me when you get home and get in bed, alright?”, she asked him.

“I promise.”, he smiled, holding her sides and giving her a kiss.

“Good. And I’ll call you when I’m on my way home. I can try to leave a little early.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, kissing her cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Drive safe.”, she said, stroking his arms and looking over at Will.

“I’m sorry. He was pretty insistent.”, he said.

“Yeah, I know how convincing he can be but next time, don’t give in.”, she said.

“I won’t.”, he said.

“Good. I’ll see you later.”, she said to them.

“Okay. See you at home.”, he said, walking out with Will.

She crossed her arms and took a deep breath.

“You okay?”, Spencer asked, walking up to her.

“Yeah. I just worry about him.”, she said.

“Makes sense. I mean, he was just attacked by a serial killer last week.”, he said.

“Please... don’t remind me... he’s gonna have scars for the rest of his life... that’s reminder enough.”, she sighed.

“Sorry. He’ll be fine though. You know how strong he is. You guys still have that protective detail outside the apartment building?”, he asked.

“Yeah but I think we’re calling it off soon. Foyet isn’t gonna come back at least not this soon. He’s gotta have something else planned. I just don’t know what or when.”, she said.

“Hotch has still got someone watching you when you’re not at home with him though. I don’t think he’s taking that off of you for a while. He was pretty adamant about having you protected.”, he said.

“No. He probably _won’t_ take that off anytime soon.”, she said.

“As he _shouldn’t_.”, he said.

“I know. I just hate seeing him worry too. God, is it just me or is he _always_ getting hurt?”, she nervously laughed.

“Yeah. He really is.”, he laughed.

“He’s so stubborn. He will never listen to me when I try to help him or take care of him. You think he’s bossy _here?_ Well, he doesn’t listen much and plays by his own rules at home too.”, she said.

“I’m not surprised.”, he said.

“I’m sorry. You probably don’t wanna hear me-“, she started.

“No, it’s fine. Really. It’s still new for all of us. We wanna hear everything. Well, everything up to-“, he said.

“Yeah, don’t worry on that. We keep private things private.”, she laughed.

“I would assume so.”, he said.

“Thank you. For being there for us. It’s a crazy time right now.”, she said.

“That’s exactly why we’re all here for you. I mean, we always are but definitely right now. If there’s anything you need...”, he said.

“I’ll let you know.”, she said and rubbed his shoulder.

He smiled and nodded before walking back to his desk.

Emily continued working until she grew more anxious about Hotch and knowing he probably wasn’t following her orders back at home. She decided to pack up and leave. When she got home, she was surprised to find him asleep in bed making her extremely happy that he listened to her but she could only hope that’s how it was all day.

She walked over to him and ran her fingers through his hair. He opened his eyes and tried to sit up but she held him down and squatted to his level. 

“Don’t even think about it.”, she raised an eyebrow.

“Give me a kiss at least?”, he asked.

She smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss. 

“I’m glad you listened to me.”, she said.

“Of course I did.”, he said.

“No. Not of course. You never listen to me.”, she said.

“That’s not true. I respect you. I always listen to you.”, he said.

She raised her eyebrow again and he rolled his eyes. 

“Alright fine. Maybe I don’t always listen but that’s not because I don’t respect you. I do. I’m just stubborn.”, he said.

“I know, honey. And you were right earlier, I love you anyways.”, she said, giving him another kiss.

“Can I make you dinner?”, he asked.

“I’m supposed to be asking _you_ that.”, she said.

“You had a long day.”, he said.

“Yes but you need to rest.”, she said.

“I can’t take care of my beautiful girlfriend?”, he asked.

“Not right now. It’s _my_ job to take care of _you_ this time.”, she said, standing up.

“I’m making you soup. How does lentil sound?”, she asked.

“It sounds delicious.”, he said.

“Okay, stay here. I’ll bring it in when it’s done.”, she said.

After she cooked his soup, she brought it into their bedroom on a tray along with a glass of water and a bread roll.

“Thanks, hun.”, he said.

She set it across his lap when he sat up and climbed in bed next to him. 

“How is it?”, she asked.

“ _Delicious_.”, he said.

“Good. Do you need help with-“, she said.

“I can lift my own spoon.”, he chuckled.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure.”, she said.

“I’m good, thank you.”, he said, taking her hand. “Thank you for everything you’ve been doing but I can manage a lot on my own.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to. You take care of _me_ when I’m hurt so I take care of _you_.”, she said.

“Well, I appreciate it.”, he said, taking another bite of the lentils. “Chef Prentiss has done it again. Chef’s kiss.”

“Any other requests from _Chef Prentiss?_ ”, she asked.

“Maybe a kiss _from_ the chef?”, he chuckled.

“I think I can do that.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Much. Maybe I can come back next week.”, he said.

“No.”, she said.

“ _I’m_ the boss. You can’t tell me what to do.”, he said.

“When it comes to your health, I _absolutely_ can. I’ll get a doctor to sign off on that too.”, she said.

“What if I _actually_ rest for the whole weekend and part of next week?”, he said.

“Well, I’d be very happy with that and very proud of you but that’s what you’re _supposed to do_ anyways. So... no.”, she said.

“When can I?”, he asked.

“When you feel better.”, she said.

“I feel better _now_.”, he said.

“No, you don’t. Which reminds me...”, she said, getting up. “We need to clean your stitches.”

“When am I getting those out again?”, he asked.

“On Tuesday.”, she said from the bathroom.

“Not soon enough.”, he said.

“It’s only a few more days.”, she said.

“I hate this...”, he said.

“I know...”, she said, walking over to him with the cleaning supplies and setting it on the night table. She took the tray from him and swapped places with some bandages and the rest. She sat on the edge of the bed and helped him take his shirt off. Every time she saw his bare chest and stomach, tears formed in her eyes and she had to shake them away.

Once his shirt was off, he looked down and rolled his lips in, turning away.

“Honey, don’t look at it, okay?”, she said, cleaning the wounds. He didn’t look back at her and she set the gauze down, bringing him to face her. “Hey... look at me. It won’t always be like this.”

“Yes. Yes, it will. I’m gonna have these scars for the rest of my life.”, he said.

“They won’t be this bad and it won’t always be this hard. It’ll get easier over time.”, she said.

“How do you know that?”, he said.

“Because... I just do.”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Em... what happened to you?”, he asked.

“What?”, she asked, confused.

“What happened to you that you can’t tell me about? I know you always say it’s to protect me and you can’t talk about it but... we tell each other everything. I know how to keep things confidential...”, he said.

“It’s not just about that...”, she said.

“So what’s it about?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I don’t wanna have this discussion again.”, she said, picking up the gauze again and continuing to clean his wounds.

“Why not? _Why can’t you tell me?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Because_ . I just _can’t_ . _Please_.”, she said.

“Did someone hurt you back then?”, he asked.

“Aaron, seriously. Stop.”, she said.

“No, I need to know. That night at the drive-in on your birthday, you were terrified. Who hurt you? _What happened?_ ”, he asked.

“Aaron, I’m serious. _Stop_.”, she said, trying to be patient and keep her cool.

“Emily, why can’t you open up to me?”, he asked.

“You _know_ I do.”, she said.

“You’ve never opened up about this.”, he said.

“Because I _can't!_ Why can’t you wrap your head around that? I can’t talk about this. _Please. Don’t_.”, she said.

He clenched his jaw and grabbed his glass of water, taking a sip. 

“It’s not fair.”, he said.

“Well, I’m sorry but that’s just how it is.”, she said, putting the bandages back on him and throwing the trash away, walking back to the bed. She sat down on the edge again and looked at him.

“If you were _able_ to tell me, _would_ you?”, he asked. She stayed silent and stared at him. “God... _really?_ It’s _me!_ Why are you so reserved with _me?_ ”, he asked.

“I’m not! I tell you everything!”, she said.

“No, you don’t! Do you not trust me?”, he asked.

“Aaron, you’re the one person I trust the most!”, she said.

“ _So why can’t you tell me?!_ ”, he yelled.

“You need to bring it down.”, she said through her teeth and raised her eyebrows.

“No! I’m so done with you keeping secrets from me when I tell you _everything!_ It’s _not fair!_ This is about _trust! Why. Can't. You. Trust. Me?!_ ”, he asked.

“Honey, I trust you with my _life!_ This isn’t about _you_.”, she said.

“But you won’t tell me!”, he said.

“I _can’t!_ And I’m trying to _protect you!_ ”, she said.

“Protect me from _what?!_ ”, he asked.

“ _I can’t tell you!_ ”, she said.

All of a sudden, Hotch let out a sound of frustration and threw his glass across the room, shattering into a million pieces.

Emily jumped and gasped, looking over at the mess on the ground before lowering her head. The only other time she’d _seen_ him do that was when they had the fight about Brayden and he threw the picture frame. He almost never got like that with her. She tried not to get too upset, knowing he had a lot of frustration built up then but it was hard not to. 

She choked back a few tears and took a deep breath while he felt his blood pumping hard. He clenched his fists and grabbed his shirt, putting it back on before laying down and closing his eyes without saying another word. She turned back to him, rubbed her palms on her legs, and stood up, bending down to pick the glass up and brought it to the kitchen. She threw the shards of it away in the trash and grabbed their hand held broom and sweeped the rest of it. After that, she wiped up the bit of water on the ground and tossed it before she finally grabbed the tray and brought it into the kitchen and washed the bowl, putting everything away.

When she was done cleaning it all up, she walked back in the room and looked at him, sound asleep. She grabbed her pajamas and changed in the bathroom, brushing her teeth and washing her face. 

Contemplating sleeping in the bed or sleeping on the couch, she chose the latter. They had joked about it earlier but in the moment she felt it was the best idea for them both. She grabbed her pillow and walked out to the living room, closing their bedroom door and setting up the couch with a couple blankets she’d grabbed from the closet. She took a Xanax that she’d grabbed from the bathroom before she walked out and laid down on the couch.

Curling up under the blankets, she let more than a few tears out and picked up her phone to call JJ. Her finger hovered over the call button but she set it down and fell asleep.

In the morning, she expected to find Hotch awake and up attempting to make breakfast but he wasn’t. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, tossing the blanket off of her. Looking over to their bedroom, the door was still closed and she stood up, nervous to go in and see what shape he was in.

She walked over and knocked on the door but he didn’t answer. Assuming he must’ve been asleep, she opened the door quietly only to find him laying down and on his phone. She walked over to her side of the bed and stood there for a moment waiting for him to look up at her but he didn’t. 

After a few seconds, she climbed on the bed and sat down, silent until she noticed a stream of tears down his face. She reached for him but he put his hand over his eyes and turned over, setting his phone down in front of her. She picked it up and saw pictures of Jack pulled up on the screen, making her eyes start to water too. 

She set his phone down on the night table and tried to hold him but he moved out of her arms. She tried again but he gently nudged her away and rolled out of bed. Immediately, she got up. 

“Aaron.”, she said. He didn’t respond. “ _Aaron_ .”, she said again. He took a step forward and stopped, still not moving his hand from before. “ _Hey_.”, she said, touching his shoulder and he pulled away but she brought her arms around him from the side as he kept resisting, slowly giving up as she gripped him tighter. 

“No. Just-“, he whispered. 

“Stop fighting it. Don’t fight it. Don’t fight it.”, she whispered. 

He kneeled down gradually and fell to the floor with her, sitting down with his knees up. She sat on hers and brought him into her arms, resting his head on her chest. She held his face on the opposite side and stroked it, with her other arm around his back.

He brought his hands to his face and started crying. _Hard_. She’d never seen him like that before and knew she just had to keep holding onto him. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”, she whispered, kissing the top of his head. 

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”, he sobbed.

“No, it’s not. It is not your fault. That’s all Foyet.”, she said.

“No. It’s all because of me. They aren’t here because of _me_.”, he said, leaning into her more.

“That is not true. You didn’t put them in danger, you didn’t threaten them. _He_ went after _you_ . _And_ threatened _them_ . This was not you. You’re _protecting them_ right now. You’re being an amazing father, taking care of them.”, she said.

“I let him get away.”, he cried some more.

“You had no control over that.”, she said. He tried to speak again but just sobbed instead. “Honey...”, she said and kissed his head again, resting hers on it and letting out tears herself. 

After a while, he calmed down and hugged her. “Sweetie...”, he said.

“I know.”, she said.

“I’m _so sorry_. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that or... thrown that glass.”, he said, shaking his head.

“I know. It’s okay.”, she said.

“No. It’s not. I scared you.”, he said.

“You didn’t scare me. I didn’t appreciate it obviously though.”, she laughed.

“I’m sorry.”, he said.

“You’re feeling a lot of things right now and you need to let it out. Maybe don’t _throw things_ but... just talk to me more. And you can cry. It’s okay to cry.”, she said.

“I just feel like I can’t always allow myself to. I _want_ to but I _can’t_ most of the time.”, he said.

“Well... maybe if you let me... I can help you with communication, especially communicating about your feelings.”, she said.

“I talk to you about those all the time.”, he said.

“I mean with yourself.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“You need to let yourself be open with yourself.”, she said.

“I do.”, he said.

“No, you don’t. And that’s why you have these... moments happen. It builds up and then _blows_ up.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Really?”, she said.

“I trust you.”, he nodded.

“I love you.”, she said, rubbing his back.

“I love you too. Thank you.”, he said, squeezing her tighter.

“Always.”, she said.

  
  



	78. Late Housewarming Party

**Chapter 78**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A week later, Hotch had finally started to do better in his recovery and was ready to go back to work the next week. 

On Friday, Emily had gotten off work early to set up for the small party they were having with the team at their place. She came home to find Hotch pulling out some dishes from the cupboards and putting clean ones away from the dishwasher.

“Hey, hun. How was work?”, he asked.

“Ohh...”, she sighed, “It was fine. Another day without you but hopefully the last.”, she set her bag down and walked over to him, giving him a kiss and helping him put dishes away.

“That was _you_ that kept me from coming back.”, he said.

“ _No_ . That was me and your _doctor_ , who by the way, still thinks you should take an extra week off.”, she said.

“As long as he says I’m okay and I _can_ go back, I’m going back.”, he said.

“Between the both of us... our stubborn sides... our kid is going to be _extremely_ stubborn.”, she laughed.

“I think that’ll come from _you_ more but sure, _both_ of us if you wanna say that.”, he chuckled.

“She’ll definitely have your charm though.”, she said.

“And your drive to succeed.”, he said.

“I just hope she won’t be _too_ competitive.”, she said.

“She won’t. We’ll teach her to be grounded... _and_ maybe you could tell me that secret for how you get Jack to eat his fruits and veggies. You know, seeing as I’ll probably be staying home with her. You’re gonna have to tell me eventually.”, he said.

“In due time.”, she winked.

“Hey, can we go run a couple errands? We need some stuff for the chili and salsa. Also maybe we can grab a bottle of something, seeing as how Dave will be here.”, he said.

“I _just_ got home.”, she said.

“That’s alright, I can go out.”, he said, walking over to the keys.

“Uh uh. You’re not allowed to drive yet.”, she said.

“Well, we need a few things.”, he said.

“It’s fine. _I’ll_ drive.”, she sighed.

“Great! Let me grab my jacket.”, he said, running to the bedroom.

“Hey! No running!”, she said.

“ _Oh my god! Okay!_ ”, he said, rolling his eyes.

He brought out his old jacket for her that was officially hers along with his own and they slipped on their shoes, heading out the door.

When they got to the market, they grabbed a basket and started walking around. 

“What else should we have?”, he asked.

“Umm... I think just chips and salsa is fine.”, she said.

“What if we also did nachos?”, he said.

“You wanna do chili, nachos, _and_ chips and salsa?”, she asked.

“Yeah, why not?”, he asked.

“Alright. That’s fine, I guess. That’s just a lot of chips but it sounds good.”, she said.

“Ah here’s the beef.”, he said as they walked over to the meat section. 

As they were browsing the selection, Hotch stepped down the row to look at the options and when Emily heard a familiar voice that made her skin crawl, she cringed.

“Emily?”

She turned around and pressed her lips into a thin line, dreading this encounter, nervous about what Hotch was about to do once he saw who it was.

“ _Brayden_.”, she said.

“How- how are you?”, he asked.

“Um... I’m fine. Listen-“, she started to say when Hotch walked over.

“Hey, Em what do you think about-“, he started and stopped next to her once he saw Brayden. “What the hell are you doing here?”, Hotch asked, stepping forward again, next to Emily but a foot diagonally from her, trying to “ _protect_ ” her, with his fists and jaw clenched.

“I’m just grabbing some groceries... I had no idea this was your neighborhood...”, Brayden said.

“Are you _sure about that?_ You’ve come to _our_ apartment before. Out of all the markets you could go to while you’re here, you choose this one. What the hell are you _doing here?_ ”, Hotch asked again.

“I live here now.”, Brayden said.

“You _what?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“I live here... I assumed Emily would’ve told you.”, Brayden said.

“No. She didn’t.”, Hotch said, looking at her.

She looked down at the pack of beef in Hotch’s hand and set it in their basket and held onto his arm. 

“You know what, we should go. We have a party we have to get some food for so... I hope everything is going well. I hope you’re doing alright.”, she slightly smiled, trying to be polite.

“You too.”, he nodded awkwardly and walked away as they did the same.

She watched him head to checkout and quickly pay for his groceries before walking out.

“I’m _so sorry._ I never thought we’d run into him.”, she said, starting to walk again, towards the produce with Hotch.

“Why didn’t you tell me he moved here?”, he asked.

“Because we weren’t planning to see him again. It didn’t seem super important to mention.”, she said.

“Well... we just ran into him...”, he said.

“It would’ve been a surprise to bump into him whether you knew he lived here or not.”, she said.

“I still would’ve liked to have known. Does he live in this neighborhood? Are we gonna bump into him here again or at a restaurant or somewhere else?”, he asked.

“I don’t know. I never asked him what area he was moving to and I’m not exactly speaking to him. I haven’t since that night you beat the shit out of him.”, she said.

“Well, he should’ve kept his hands off of you... He _knew_ we were together and he still tried to pursue that... I mean, who _does_ that?”, he said, shaking his head.

“I don’t know but it’s not a problem anymore.”, she said, bagging some tomatoes while he grabbed some onions.

“It is if we are gonna keep seeing him everywhere we go.”, he said.

“We saw him once. Right now. That doesn’t mean it’s gonna be all the time.”, she said.

“Once was already enough for me.”, he said, dropping the onions in the basket and walking down to an aisle for the chips.

“Are we ever gonna move past this? Are you ever gonna forgive me?”, she asked, following him.

“I _have_ forgiven you.”, he said, pulling her into his side and kissing her cheek. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven _him_ or ever will. He’s older and you were in a fragile state. You were really vulnerable in that moment and he took advantage of that even after you told him that you were in a relationship with me. That’s-”, he said.

“I know... and you don’t have to forgive him. Just... don’t freak out about this. I’m sure we won’t see him again. And if we do run into him, we don’t have to stop and say _hi_.”, she said.

“ _We weren’t the ones that did._ What made him think it’d be a good idea to do that?”, he asked.

“My guess is... he didn’t see you.”, she said.

“Real respectful.”, he nodded. “Just because he didn’t think I was here, he thought it would be okay to come up to you and strike up a conversation after what you told him last time?”, he asked.

“Aaron.”, she said.

“I’m sorry. I’m overreacting, I know. But I just... you’re _mine_ and I hate seeing someone else going after you especially after we _both_ told him to leave us alone.”, he said.

“I know, sweetie.”, she said, rubbing his back. 

As they continued walking down the aisle, he stopped to grab a can of beans, when he saw spaghetti o’s, Jack’s favorite. He stopped and Emily picked up a can.

“No.”, he said, taking it from her hand and putting it back on the shelf. “He won’t be back _that_ soon.”, he walked away and headed towards the dairy.

“Honey, I’m sorry.”, she said, rubbing his shoulder as he grabbed some cheese.

“Should we get a bag of shredded cheddar or a block to shred ourselves?”, he asked, trying to change the topic.

“Whatever you want.”, she said.

“Let’s just get a bag.”, he said, grabbing it and dropping it in the basket.

“They’ll be back soon enough. We’ll get him soon.”, she said.

“Emily, please.”, he said, putting his hand up. “Foyet waited 10 years to come back. He waited until Shaunessy _died... 10 years_. What if I have to wait that long to see my own son again, huh? It’s a possibility. So please... don’t tell me they’ll be back soon enough or that we’ll get Foyet soon. We both know that’s not gonna happen.”, he said, heading down another aisle, finishing up their shopping silently.

Once they paid for everything, they headed home. Walking in the door, they set the groceries down and came back to the kitchen, prepping the food after they hung their jackets over the couch.

“Can you pass me the tray?”, she asked. He handed over the tray for her to pour the chips on before adding on the rest of the toppings. “Thanks.”, she said quietly.

  
  


Hotch started the chili in the big pot and put it on low heat, letting it sit, stirring it occasionally. 

“Can you keep an eye on this? I’m gonna go take a shower.”, he said.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”, she asked.

“I have my stitches out, I walked around the store just fine, and I’m cooking dinner. I can take a shower by myself.”, he said and walked into the bathroom.

After a while, Emily reached for her back pocket to grab her phone to call JJ but it wasn’t there. She walked over to their bedroom and tried to open it but it was locked. She knocked on the door and called for him.

“Aaron, why is the door locked?”, she asked.

“Uh- just a second!”, he said. 

She heard the bathroom door open and a drawer open and close right after.

“Are you okay?”, she asked. 

He opened the door and she looked at him confused when she found him still wet from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and a t-shirt on. “I’m fine. What do you need?”, he asked.

“Oh- well... I just wanted to see if my phone was in here- why do you have a shirt and towel on? You’re dripping wet...”, she said, walking over to her night table, taking her phone.

“I just... thought maybe people were here by now. I didn’t want to be half naked when I opened the door.”, he nodded.

“Well... why was the door locked?”, she asked.

“I didn’t even think about it.”, he said. 

“Okay...? Go dry off, you’re getting water everywhere.”, she said.

“Sorry, hun.”, he said and grabbed a pair of jeans and underwear from the drawer before walking back into the bathroom and she heard him lock the door, confused again.

She couldn’t tell why he was changing in the bathroom and why he felt the need to lock the door but she didn’t like the strange behavior.

Emily walked back out to the kitchen and finished cooking the chili, putting a lid over it and keeping it warm on the stove. She put the nachos in the oven to bake and started chopping tomatoes for the salsa. 

Hotch came out and walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck. She giggled when it tickled her and reached her hand behind her and scratched the back of his head. 

“Someone’s in a better mood.”, she said.

“I just needed a breather I think, wash everything off and just feel refreshed.”, he said.

She set the knife down and held his arms tight around her. She turned her head, sniffing before her whole body did and rubbed his arms.

“You smell good. Did you put on cologne?”, she asked.

“Just a little. Haven’t had an excuse to wear any for a while but now that people are coming over...”, he said.

“Well you smell good. And clean. I’m glad you’re feeling motivated to get up and out more but I still want you to take it easy too. Don’t push it too much.”, she said.

“Don’t worry. I have you to keep me in check.”, he said. 

“Yes, you do.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss. “Now help me dice these for the salsa. People should be here soon.”

“Okay. Did you put the nachos in?”, he asked.

“Yeah and the beers are chilling in the fridge still. Think Dave drinks beer or just scotch?”, she laughed.

“He’ll have a beer or two.”, he chuckled.

“Good.”, she said.

Half an hour later, there was a knock at the door and Emily walked over to get it. Garcia was the first to arrive along with Derek by her side. 

“Hey! Come on in.”, Emily said, letting them inside.

“ _Thank you_. Oooo I love it! It’s so cute!”, Garcia said.

“I don’t know if _cute_ is the right word for it but we definitely like it.”, Emily said.

“Nice place.”, Derek said.

“Thanks. Uh, we have chips and salsa ready if you want some.”, she said to them. “Aaron, are the nachos done?”, she asked him.

“Just pulling the second tray out now.”, he said.

“We also have nachos and we made some chili too. Did you guys want a beer? We were gonna make some margaritas in a minute too.”, she asked.

“I’ll wait for that margarita.”, Garcia said.

“I’ll take a beer.”, Derek said.

“Alright.”, she said, grabbing a beer from the fridge for him.

“Oh, can you hand me one too?”, Hotch said, scooping some nachos from the tray onto larger plates. Emily grabbed the bottle opener and opened one for him, handing it over. “Thanks, hun.”

“You’re welcome.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. She walked over to Derek and opened his beer for him as well. “Here ya go.”

“Thanks.”, Derek said, taking it.

“So. Can we have a tour?”, Garcia asked.

“Sure. It’s not a huge tour but...”, Emily said, walking them over to their bedroom. “Here’s _our_ bedroom and then this is the bathroom in here.”, she said.

“Whoa, that’s actually kind of fancy.”, Garcia said.

“It’s not too fancy. It’s just modern... contemporary... whatever. It’s nice I guess.”, Emily said, leading them out. “The other bathroom is over there...”, she pointed, “and... here’s Jack’s room.”

“Aww. It’s cute. The little Batman decals.”, Derek said.

“Yeah, he picked those out himself.”, Emily said, trying to smile but looking down. She closed the door and walked them over to the living room area. “And here’s obviously, as you saw when you walked in, the living room/ dining room area.” 

“Love it!”, Garcia said.

“Thanks.”, Emily said, walking to the door once she heard another knock. “Dave. I told you not to bring anything.”, she said, letting him in.

“It’s just a bottle of scotch.”, he said.

“Well, we are making margaritas and have some beer but if you prefer to drink _this_ , then feel free.”, she said.

“Emily, don’t be ridiculous. This is a _gift. Housewarming party._ You bring a _gift_. I’ll take one of those margaritas when they’re done.”, he said.

“Aaron was just about to make them, he’s just over there finishing serving the nachos.”, she said, taking the bottle he brought them and setting it down on the side table with the rest they had.

Rossi walked up to Hotch who was cutting limes and getting out some salt and glasses.

“Hey.”, Hotch said.

“Mind if I help you mix the drinks?”, Rossi asked.

“Sure, go for it. Thanks.”, Hotch said.

“I brought you guys a nice bottle but... I also brought something else.”, Rossi said, looking over at the others, watching Emily let in Spencer. He reached for the pocket on the inside of his jacket. “Got a few Cubans. Figured you and Derek and Will might-“, Rossi said.

“ _Dave_ . Put those away!”, Hotch whispered and looked over to Emily. “Emily doesn’t know I have one every now and then. She’d _kill_ me.”

“Actually, she does. I might’ve mentioned it around the time of your birthday. She didn’t seem too happy but it’s not like you smoke them all the time.”, Rossi said.

“We don’t even have a place to enjoy them.”, Hotch said.

“What about that little balcony right there?”, Rossi asked, pointing to their balcony.

“We never really use it.”, Hotch said.

“Why not?”, Rossi asked.

“It’s not an amazing view or anything. Never much of a reason to I guess.”, Hotch said.

“Well now you have a reason.”, Rossi said, holding up the cigars.

“Would you put those away!”, Hotch whispered and lowered Rossi’s hand.

“You don’t need to ask permission to have one.”, Rossi said, starting to mix the drinks with Hotch.

“Do you know Emily _at all?_ Like I said, she’d kill me.”, Hotch said. Rossi shook his head and continued to finish the margaritas.

After JJ and Will showed up, they were all talking and pouring drinks, enjoying some food. Emily’s phone rang and it was a number she didn’t recognize. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna take this real quick.”, she said to everyone. She walked into their bedroom and closed the door, answering it.

“Hello?”, she said.

“Emily.”, she heard the voice say.

“Brayden?”, she asked.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m...”, he trailed off.

“Are you _drunk?_ ”, she asked when she heard him slurring his words and talking nonsense.

“I shouldn’t have let you go back then. I shouldn’t have let you go. Do you know how much I regret doing that?”, he said.

“Brayden, you shouldn’t be calling me. Especially like this.”, she said.

“You didn’t know who it was when you answered. You didn’t know it was me. Did you delete my number from your phone? Did you just erase me from your life?”, he asked.

She paused before speaking, not knowing how to answer at first. “I _did_ , yeah. And... I think you should do the same.”, she said.

“Even if I delete your contact, I can’t delete you from my _mind_.”, he said.

“Brayden, you're slurring your words so much, I can barely understand you. You need to get rid of my number and get your shit together.”, she said, trying not to sound too harsh but done with everything he was putting them through.

“Emily...”, he said.

“ _Seriously_ . I know you lied back there when you said you didn’t know this was our neighborhood. Did you _follow_ me there? Or-“, she said.

“I was over in this area the other day and saw you at the coffee shop up the street and I guess I was just hoping I’d maybe eventually run into you at the store if I went and-“, he said.

“Stop, okay? Please. If you care about me at all, you’ll leave us alone.”, she said.

“How am I supposed to just forget you? Forget _us?_ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know but you need to figure it out and _stop_ all of this.”, she said.

“Do you really hate me that much?”, he asked.

“No. But I’m done with all of this and you’re not the same person you used to be- or maybe you just haven’t changed at all and that’s the problem. I don’t know but regardless, I can’t deal with any of this anymore. _I’m_ a different person. I’ve changed. I’ve moved on. And you should too.”, she said.

“After all these years... you’re just going to throw away everything we had? Even our friendship?”, he asked.

“You made it clear when you came out here and _kissed me_ and told me you _never stopped loving me_ that you were never interested in just being friends but instead, _settled_ for that. You never told me. Your intentions weren’t true...”, she said.

“You said it back...”, he said.

“No. I told you I’ll always have a place for you in my heart because you were such a huge part of my life and I’m grateful for everything you did for me, really. But now, knowing _why_ you did all those things for me... doesn’t feel right. So, I need to not be involved with you in any way because I’m living my own life with things I’ve done for myself, by myself, and I’m _with_ someone else now.”, she said.

“I-“, he tried.

“I have people over now. I have to go but... please take care of yourself. And do us both a favor and just delete my number. It’s for the best.”, she said.

“Emily...”, he said.

“Goodbye, Brayden.”, she said, hanging up, finally feeling like she got closure and was able to get everything out that she wasn’t able to the night she said _goodbye_ to him the first time when he got in a fight with Hotch. 

She crossed her arms and took a deep breath when Hotch walked in with two drinks in his hand.

“ _Hey_ , sweetie. You okay?”, he asked.

“Brayden just called me. _Drunk_.”, she said, taking a margarita he was handing her.

“Are you _serious?!_ ”, he asked.

“I got everything out and said what finally felt like a final _goodbye_. I just hope he loses my number like I told him to because I already lost his a while ago.”, she said, taking a sip.

He was about to go off about him but instead calmed down and decided to be there for her, knowing that’s what she needed.

“Are you _alright?_ ”, he asked, stepping closer to her.

“I think _so_.”, she said.

“What do you need?”, he asked.

“Well...”, she said, giving him a kiss. “Oh... look at that. I feel better already.”, she smiled. He chuckled and put his arm around her, walking back out to everyone else.

“Hey, everything good?”, JJ asked.

“Everything’s great.”, Emily said, squeezing Hotch’s side.

“I know we said we’re all happy for you but I don’t know if I mentioned how cute of a couple you are.”, Garcia said.

“Yeah, you actually have.”, Hotch laughed.

“Mmm maybe implied it but-“, she started.

“No. You’ve used the word _cute_ followed by a lot of squealing quite a bit.”, Emily said.

“Fine. Then I guess I’m saying it again.”, Garcia said.

Hotch finished his drink and went to grab a beer before he looked around for Rossi and Derek and Will and saw them out on the balcony. He walked over to Emily for a minute and rubbed her back before he walked out to the guys once she started talking with Spencer and the girls.

Hotch closed the door and held out his hand and Rossi looked at him with a smirk, handing him a cigar. 

“I thought you said she’d kill you if you had one.”, Rossi said while Hotch lit the cigar. 

“It’s not like I have them all the time, now, _is it?_ ”, Hotch chuckled, repeating what Rossi had told him earlier.

“That’s alright. JJ said she’d kill me too if she ever caught me smoking anything but once again, it’s not like I have them all the time either.”, Will said.

“See, I don’t have to worry about that. No woman in my life.”, Derek said.

“Yeah but you’re all about the ladies though. I’m sure you’d rather have someone in your life than not just so you can have a cigar every now and then.”, Will said.

“Alright, fine. But I’m looking to get serious with someone and no one right has come along. _Yet_. I guess Emily wasn’t it.”, Derek laughed. Hotch looked over at him and raised his eyebrows, uncomfortable. “Sorry, I realize you finally found out but-“

“Morgan, I knew pretty much the whole time. From the very beginning.”, Hotch laughed.

“Wait, _what? Seriously?_ ”, Derek asked.

“Emily and I were close for a long time. Well, actually, I guess I didn’t know the _whole_ time. I found out when you guys were planning your first _official_ date.”, Hotch raised his eyebrow.

“She told you then?”, Derek asked.

“Well... she told you she was going out for drinks with an old friend who was in town one night but it was actually me. Didn’t think it was a good idea for people to know we were friends then or have anyone get the wrong idea. She actually didn’t want to tell me about you guys but when we came back later that night for a case, I overheard you talking about the date you were gonna take her on. The next night, I was dropping her off at her car and asked her about it and that’s when she told me everything. God... that was probably one of our worst fights, other than the next day.”, Hotch said and shook his head, remembering it all.

“Why did you guys fight?”, Derek asked.

“Oh- uh, I was upset that she didn’t tell me about you guys. I mean, we were really close and the fact that she couldn’t just be honest with me... _hurt?_ Especially since you were another member of the team and her keeping a secret like that, something that wasn’t allowed, I was a little pissed.”, Hotch said.

“Are you sure you weren’t jealous? You guys said you had feelings building up for a while.”, Derek said.

“I wasn’t jealous.”, Hotch lied.

“You _so_ were.”, Derek laughed. “What happened the next day? Wasn’t that the day you guys were screaming at each other in your office?”, Derek asked.

“Um... yeah. That would _also_ probably be one of our worst fights. She was so mad at me.”, Hotch said.

“Why? I haven’t heard this story. I wasn’t there yet.”, Rossi said.

“ _Well_... after I found out about her and Derek that night, we fought, I realized how complicated our friendship was with me being her boss and all so I cut it off. She got really upset. The next day, she was returning my wallet to my desk at work that I had left at her place when I took her there to sober her up and change before we went back to work the previous night. I came in and I got mad that she didn’t text me the night before, letting me know that she got home alright because she was too upset with me. We fought, ended up yelling at each other and yeah... she slammed the door, I threw a picture frame. Definitely unprofessional of me. I’d never done anything like that before and I haven’t since.”, Hotch said, telling half the truth, knowing it was because they were more than friends but the rest of them didn’t need to know that. 

“Oh my god. That’s why she was crying when she called me over that night. She wouldn’t tell me what it was about.”, Derek said.

“She was _crying?_ ”, Hotch whimpered.

“Yeah, real bad. I thought she got hurt at first.”, Derek said.

“I feel awful... I _felt_ just _horrible_ then and all I did was want to talk to her but I promised myself I wouldn’t. It was too complicated back then.”, Hotch said.

“How’d you make up?”, Rossi asked.

“We had that case in Massachusetts and she was grabbing something from the vending machine at the hotel that night. It wasn’t working for her so I paid for her snack and she yelled at me for startling her by accident and not staying away from her like she had told me to during our fight earlier. I made a joke about how I _could_ pay for her snack because she brought me my wallet back and then we talked and we were all good. We both apologized and decided to be _friendly_ but not _friends_.”, Hotch said. 

“ _Well_... that sure changed.”, Rossi laughed.

“ _Indeed it did_.”, Hotch laughed. “But I’m so glad it did. I’m so incredibly grateful for her. She’s honestly one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. She always makes fun of me for saying this cheesy type of stuff but I feel complete with her. I don’t know how else to put it. I just wish Jack were here...”, he said, dropping his head. 

Will put his hand on his shoulder and patted him. As they continued puffing their cigars, they got into conversation about work and about Henry and Jack until Emily stepped out. They didn’t hear her open the door but Hotch jumped when he heard her voice.

“What the hell are you doing?!”, she said. He spun around quick with a look of fear in his eyes. He noticed her eyes go to the cigar in his hand and back up to his.

“Em, I-“, he started.

“ _Aaron!_ ”, she said.

“They’re _Cubans_ .”, he whined, telling her he couldn’t say _no_. She furrowed her brows and crossed her arms. “Honey-“, he reached for her with one hand but she pulled back. “Em.”, he said, handing his cigar to Rossi, who set it down and continued talking to the other guys. 

Hotch ducked and looked at Emily with puppy dog eyes as he slowly walked over to her and held her sides once he reached her. She pointed her finger at him. 

“Don’t.”, she said.

“Don’t what?”, he asked.

“Make that face.”, she said.

“Make _what_ face?”, he asked, continuing to pretend to pout. She rolled her eyes and he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck and moving up to give her small kisses behind her ear. “You’re beautiful.”, he whispered in it.

“Calling me beautiful isn’t gonna make me any less mad.”, she said.

“You’re _really_ beautiful.”, he whispered.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said.

“You’re really _really_ beautiful.”, he whispered, kissing behind her ear again. 

She shook her head and hugged his neck, resting it on his shoulder. “I’m still mad at you.”, she said.

“Mmhmm. I know.”, he nodded, kissing her cheek.

“Shut up.”, she said, nuzzling her head in his neck.

“You’re _also_ very cute and I love you a lot.”, he said.

“Yeah... I love you too.”, she said.

“Still mad?”, he asked.

“A little less.”, she said.

He pulled his head back and lifted her chin. He smiled and brought his lips to hers. “Still mad _now?_ ”, he asked.

She smiled and dropped her head. “ _A little less_.”, she said, looking back up at him. 

He kissed her again and she looked in his eyes. “How about now?”, he asked.

“Fine.”, she sighed.

He chuckled and kissed her again. “I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Yeah, yeah.”, she said, swatting his arm.

“You guys good now? Can we turn around?”, Derek asked.

“We’re fine.”, Emily laughed.

“Good. Because I’m hungry.”, he said, walking past them and going inside.

They all followed him and served some food as they hung around, talking some more. Emily went back over to JJ and Garcia while Spencer walked over to the guys.

“So. What’s it like living with him?”, Garcia asked.

“Um... fine I guess?”, Emily said.

“Come on, give us more than that. Is he really messy? Does he snore? Is he a good cook? Does he make the bed? Who does the laundry? Who’s the boss?”, Garcia asked.

“Well, he’s not messy. At all. You saw our bedroom and bathroom. It’s always like that, not just because we had people coming over. He doesn’t snore but he says _I_ do sometimes a little. I still don’t believe him on that. _However_ , he _does_ talk in his sleep sometimes and it’s really cute when he’ll start laughing”, Emily giggled. “He’s a _great_ cook and likes making me breakfast every morning. He always beats me to the kitchen. He makes the bed every morning especially because I never do and it bothers him. We _both_ do the laundry and we _both_ act like the boss, making it really hard to win. There are _some_ things where I just let him be the alpha but with most others, we fight for it.”, she said.

“What?! What do you let him be the alpha for? Why would you give that up?”, Garcia asked.

“Penelope... I don’t think you need for her to go into detail on that.”, JJ said.

“What?”, Garcia asked, looking confused and turned to Emily who pressed her lips into a thin line and stared at her, awkward. “ _What?_ ”, she asked again.

“In the bedroom, we-“, Emily started.

“Oh! Oh, oh! You’re right. I don’t need you to go into detail.”, Garcia said, making them laugh.

“I wasn’t going to. I was just gonna say we keep things in _there_. What happens in there, stays in there.”, Emily chuckled. 

“Okay, good. Yeah, I’m fine not knowing anyways.”, Garcia said.

“I tried to warn you.”, JJ said.

“Yeah. _Good job_.”, Garcia said, sarcastically. “I’m gonna grab some food. You guys want anything?”, she asked them.

“No, we’re good thanks.”, JJ said.

“Alright.”, Garcia said, walking away.

“ _So_ ... speaking of... how _are_ you guys with that?”, JJ asked.

“Doctor still hasn’t cleared him for that. It looks like it’s still gonna be another few weeks or so, give or take or one.”, Emily sighed.

“How are you doing with that?”, JJ asked.

“You know _us_ . We don’t need sex to be close and intimate or share our love for each other but it _is_ nice to. I mean it makes us feel really connected especially during hard times like right now. We _do_ feel closer when we’re able to be intimate with each other in that way. But we can still feel that without having sex, I know. It’s just nice. It _helps_ make us feel close I guess. But I don’t know... he’s acting weird...”, Emily said.

“What do you mean?”, JJ asked.

“Well, he’s been really clingy in some ways but not in a bad way but also really distant in others.”, Emily said.

“Like what?”, JJ asked.

“Like the other night... Since he hasn’t gotten the green light from the doctor yet, I thought I would maybe... _help him out_...”, Emily said.

“ _Okay.._.”, JJ said.

“Well... we were in bed and we were making out but... when I reached my hand down, he brought it back up and like just didn’t wanna go there.”, Emily said.

“Maybe he wasn’t in the mood?”, JJ suggested.

“That doesn’t explain last night when a similar thing happened but I could _definitely_ tell he was in the mood. I could feel it and the way he was touching me but as soon as my hand went under his shirt, he took it out and slowed everything down until he stopped. Like... _why would he do that?_ ”, Emily asked.

“Was he tired?”, JJ asked.

“No. Besides, he was at home, doing nothing all day. This has happened a few times now and I don’t know what’s going on with him...”, Emily said.

“Have you tried talking to him?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know what to say. _Hey, honey. I can feel you’re in the mood. Why won’t you let me pull your pants down?_ Um... _no_.”, Emily said.

“Well maybe not like _that_.”, JJ laughed.

“I just worry that somethings wrong. Not with his body but emotionally. He’s been so up and down lately. When he came to the BAU last week, he was all happy and cheery and when I got home, he still was but then I was cleaning his stitches and his whole mood changed and... I didn’t tell you this before... I almost called you that night but just cried myself to sleep on the couch instead. We got in a fight in that moment and he yelled a lot and threw a glass across the room and broke it, completely ignoring me after and just rolled over on his side and closed his eyes.”, Emily said.

“ _Seriously?_ ”, JJ asked, surprised.

“Yeah. And then the next morning, I woke up and went into the bedroom to find him crying in bed and when I tried to hold him, he pulled away but eventually got up and then dropped to the ground in my arms and balled his eyes out like I’d never seen before and then apologized to me after. Later that day, he was totally fine like you’d never even know he’d had some episode earlier.”, Emily said.

“I mean... he went through _a lot_ this month already. Maybe he doesn’t know how to cope.”, JJ said.

“Which is exactly why I need him to talk to me. Regardless, I’m worried about him.”, she said, looking over at him, only to find him staring at her with a loving look and smiled at her. She smiled back and turned to JJ again. “Oh! And tonight before everyone got here, he snapped at me and went to take a shower but locked the bedroom door. When I knocked on it, he opened it wearing his towel around his waist and a shirt on even though he was dripping wet. _And then_ he grabbed his clothes and went in the bathroom, locking the door to change.”

“That _is_ weird...”, JJ said.

“I don’t know what to do.”, Emily said.

“Maybe just wait it out. Maybe things will change once he’s cleared to come back to work _and_ other things.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah. I don’t think there’s anything else to do.”, Emily shook her head.

JJ softly smiled and put her arm around her, walking over to everyone else. Hotch opened his arm for Emily to walk into and leaned into him.

“Are you having fun?”, he whispered.

“I am. Are you?”, she asked.

“Yeah. I really am. I needed this. Being around everyone again.”, he said.

“Good. I’m glad.”, she smiled, putting her hand on his chest and wrapping her arm around his back, giving him a kiss.

As the night went on, everyone grew tired. They helped with dishes even though Emily and Hotch told them not to because they were guests. They put the food away and they all left. 

Emily and Hotch were getting ready for bed when he went in the closet to change while Emily brushed her teeth and washed her face. She came out of the bathroom and walked over to him. He pulled his pants up and grabbed his shirt he had set down. She stepped towards him and was about to put her hands on his bare back.

“Hey.”, she said.

“Jesus!”, he said, jumping, obviously startled. He pulled his shirt on fast before turning around.

“I’m sorry, honey. Are you okay?”, she asked, reaching out for him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. You just startled me.”, he nervously laughed.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Come on, let’s just get in bed.”, she said, taking his hand and walking to the bed. They got in under the covers and he curled up behind her.

“Tonight was fun.”, he said.

“It was.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he said.

“I’m just glad you were feeling better and well enough to have this tonight.”, she said, taking his hand and bringing it over to her side.

“You take care of me very well.”, he said, kissing her shoulder.

“I try my best.”, she said.

“I love you so much.”, he said.

“I love you too but can we just stop talking, because I’m so tired, it’s hard to make myself form words and actually speak right now.”, she laughed.

“Yes.”, he kissed her shoulder again. “Of course.”, he said, kissing her neck before nuzzling against her head and falling fast asleep.

The next day, Emily was at work when she heard Hotch’s voice and she spun around in her chair. 

“ _Again?!_ Aaron! How did you get here? Why are you here?”, she asked.

“Strauss called me in. She wants to talk to both of us.”, he said, taking her hand.

“You didn’t answer my question.”, she said.

“I drove.”, he said.

“You _what?!_ ”, she said.

“Honey, please. Yell at me later. Let’s just get to Strauss’ office right now.”, he said.

“Fine but you’re gettin’ it later.”, she said.

“That’s okay.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

They walked to Strauss’ office and went right in when they saw the door was open.

“You wanted to see us?”, Emily said.

“Yes, I want you both to take a look at these and sign them.”, Strauss said.

“What are they?”, Hotch asked.

“Contracts for you to fill out, stating the nature of your relationship and... how it will not interfere with your work here and you are to report of any other changes that might occur in the future regarding this.”, Strauss said.

“I’m not fired?”, Hotch asked.

“No. You’re not. In fact, once you get a clean bill of health from your doctor, I expect you back the next day. Does that work for you? _Both of you?_ ”, she asked.

“Yes. Yes, definitely. Thank you. Ma’am.”, Emily said, already halfway through reading and signing the forms.

Once they finished filling everything out and going over everything with Strauss, they were grinning, ear to ear, trying to contain it. 

“Alright... that’s it from me. If anything ever comes up-“, she started to say.

“Nothing will.”, Hotch said.

“Alright. You both can go and _Aaron_... go home and rest. Don’t give her such a hard time. Be cooperative.”, Strauss raised an eyebrow with a slight smile.

“I’ll definitely try.”, he chuckled. “Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You as well.”, she said.

Hotch and Emily walked out and got on the elevator, completely silent until the doors closed. They immediately jumped into each other’s arms and held on tight.

“Oh my god, we’re okay! I feel like I can finally breathe!”, she said.

“I know, me too!”, he said.

She pulled back and looked at him, holding his face. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”, she asked.

“I think I have a pretty good idea but can you maybe remind me?”, he asked.

She smiled and leaned in, bringing their lips together until the elevator door opened and they were back on the unit.

“Let’s go tell everyone.”, she said, dragging him alongside her.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”, JJ asked Hotch, hanging at Spencer’s desk with him.

“I’m not fired! We just had to sign some contracts but... we’re all good.”, Hotch said.

“Oh my god, that’s great!”, JJ said.

“Nice, another thing to be happy for you guys about.”, Spencer said.

“No way!”, Derek said, walking over to them. “Congrats man.”

“Thanks.”, Hotch said to him. “Hey, I’m gonna let Garcia know and hit the restroom but I’ll come say goodbye before I leave.”, he told Emily, kissing her hand.

“Okay.”, she said, grabbing his face and kissing him, not even caring who could see anymore.

“I’ll be right back.”, he said, walking over to Garcia’s. He went inside and found her.

“Sir, hello! What can I do for you? What are you doing here?”, she asked.

“I just came to sign some things with Strauss and Emily. It looks like we’re all okay with working and our relationship and everything. She didn’t fire me.”, he said.

“That’s fantastic news! Where’s Emily though?”, she asked.

“About that... I need you to do me a favor. I know I’m not on duty right now but-“, he said.

“Anything. What is it?”, she asked.

“I need you to look up Brayden Montgomery’s address for me.”, he said.

“You got it.”, she said, typing away. “This guy?”, she asked, pulling up a picture.

“Yeah. That would be him.”, he said.

“Ooo silver fox.”, she said to herself quietly.

“More like _sly_ fox.”, he said.

“What? Why? What’d he do? Why do you need his address?”, she asked.

“Maybe it’s better you don’t know.”, he said, leaning over and looking at the screens.

“Hotch, as much as I respect you and your privacy, I’m looking up someone’s address and you don’t seem to like him. Could you maybe clue me in a _little bit?_ ”, she asked.

“You’re right. He used to know me... _and_ Emily.”, he said.

“Oh?”, she said.

“He kissed her a while ago... and he’s one of her exes.”, he said.

“ _Oh?_ How long is a while ago?”, she asked.

“ _A while ago_ but we were already together.”, he said.

“ _Oh_.”, she said, dropping her tone.

“Yeah, he called her drunk last night and intentionally bumped into us at the store too. She told him to pretty much stay out of her life after that kiss which was right before the Liberty Ranch case but he ended up moving here. And now... he won’t leave us alone. I’m just gonna go to talk to him briefly.”, he said.

“Oh. Okay, yeah. Well, here’s his address.”, she said, handing him a sticky note with the address written on it. 

“You’re amazing, Garcia.”, he said, patting her shoulder before heading out.

“Have a good day!”, she called out.

“You too, keep up the hard work.”, he said.

He walked back out to Emily after the restroom. “You leaving?”, she asked him.

“Yeah but I’ll see you tonight when you get home.”, he said.

“Alright well drive safe and text me or call me when you get _home_ safe. And then no more driving for you for a little.”, she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, babe.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “I love you. I’ll see you tonight. Have fun, work hard, and be amazing as always.”, he smiled.

“ _Go home,_ you dork.”, she laughed.

He waved to everyone before walking out and heading to his car, getting in and driving to Brayden’s condo. Not even thinking of exactly what he was going to say, Hotch got out of the car when he arrived and walked up to the front door. He knocked hard and stood there waiting for Brayden to open the door. Once he finally did, Hotch had forgotten how much he wanted to punch him until he saw his face. But he kept his cool and took a deep breath.

“Aaron...”, Brayden said, stepping back and flinched.

“You need to stay away from us.”, Hotch said.

“I’m sorry?”, Brayden said.

“You need to stay the hell away from us. Alright? No more fake random bump ins at the market. No more calling my girlfriend drunk at night. Or at all. Don’t text her. Don’t call her. Don’t follow us. Don’t come to our apartment. Just leave us alone. She made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with you anymore.”, Hotch said.

“Listen-“, Brayden started.

“No. No, _you_ listen. If you don’t delete her number and just stay out of our lives and stop following us around, I’m gonna get a restraining order. You may think I’m overreacting and that’s fine but this is obsessive behavior and you’re making her uncomfortable and I know she already told you all of this already but it’s not just bothering _her_ . It’s bothering me too. This is _our_ life. _Not yours_. So just stay the hell out of it from now on, got it?”, Hotch said.

“Alright.”, Brayden nodded.

“Good.”, Hotch half nodded and turned around, starting to walk back to his car.

“Take care of her.”, Brayden called out.

Hotch turned to look at Brayden. “Emily is the love of my life. I’d do _anything_ to protect her.”, Hotch said, furrowing his eyebrows and walked back to his car. 

He sat in the car for a moment and grounded himself after that encounter. His phone rang and it was Emily, he picked it up with a smile on his face.

“Hey, hun.”, he said.

“Hey, are you home yet?”, she asked.

“No. I had to make one stop first but I’m headed home now.”, he said.

“ _Aaron_. What were you doing? You needed to go straight home.”, she said.

“I’ll tell you when you get back later but... everything is good now. _Everything_ . Well… _almost_ everything.”, he said.

“I know... I’m so happy.”, she said.

“Good. I’ll see you later. I love you so much.”, he said.

“I love you too. Drive safe.”, she said, hanging up.

Hotch put his phone away and started the car, heading home, feeling content with almost everything in their life for the moment. He just missed Jack and Haley.

  
  



	79. Insecurities

**Chapter 79**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

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On Monday morning, Emily woke up early to make breakfast for Hotch. While she was cooking eggs for them, she grabbed another pan and put in some sausage. Hotch came out, rubbing his eyes once she was almost done. He walked up to Emily and placed his hands on her sides from behind and kissed her shoulder, resting his head over it. He closed his eyes again, still tired and hugged her. She turned her head to him slightly and saw him possibly falling asleep again.

“Good morning.”, she said sweetly, continuing to cook.

“Mmmm.”, he grumbled.

“I thought you’d be more excited about coming back to work today. Why are you so tired?”, she asked.

“I barely slept.”, he said.

“Why? Are you feeling okay?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just nervous... kind of... I guess. I don’t know. I think I was having a bit of anxiety. I thought I was excited to go back to work and I am but... I’m just feeling uneasy too all of a sudden.”, he said.

“Aww. _Sweetie_. Why didn’t you wake me?”, she asked.

“Because you need your beauty sleep.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“Aaron, if you’re having any of those feelings, you can always wake me. In fact, I want you to because you know I understand it and I don’t want you losing any rest over it. I also just want you to feel okay and not go through those moments alone.”, she said.

“I’d just feel bad about waking you and this isn’t my normal whatever. I don’t get like this. I don’t know why I am now...”, he said.

“Well, you’ve been through a traumatic thing and had a big change in your life recently that wasn’t necessarily a happy one. It makes sense for your emotions to shift and it’s normal to be confused about it. But at least talk to me about it and let me be there for you, okay?”, she asked.

“How’d you get to be so wise?”, he asked.

“Years of dealing with this, myself. And also therapy. I’ve started opening up more in my sessions.”, she said.

“Well, I noticed you haven’t had an anxiety attack in a _while_. Not since Matthew. Or at least none that you’ve told me about.”, he said.

“No. I haven’t had any since then. I would tell you.”, she nodded.

“Good. I’m glad. But I know it’s a stressful time right now and I don’t care if I’m feeling off, if you feel something coming on too, come to me, alright?”, he asked.

“You know I will.”, she said.

“I just wanted to double check and remind you that I’m here for you no matter what. With anything and everything.”, he said. 

“I know. And I appreciate it and know that I am too. For you.”, she said.

“I do. And I also appreciate it.”, he said.

“Good. Now try this.”, she said, cutting a piece of sausage and bringing it to his mouth.

“Mmm. That’s really good. Did you make enough for yourself?”, he asked.

“Yes. I _did_ . I’m not just taking care of _you_. I’ve gotten better at making sure I’m taking care of myself as well. You helped teach me that.”, she said.

“You’re worth it.”, he said.

“You are too. Now go sit down and I’ll serve us a couple plates.”, she said.

After breakfast, Emily did the dishes while Hotch went to change. He came out completely dressed and ready other than wearing his tie and suit jacket. He was holding four ties and walked up to Emily. She dried her hands and turned to him.

“Which one? I thought about maybe the yellow but then there’s also the black but would the blue look better? I mean-“, he spoke fast.

“Honey, calm down.”, she said, taking the red tie from him and wrapping it around his neck, tying it for him. “You’re gonna be fine today.”

“I have a big meeting with the director for an annual review for the whole unit. On my first day back. After him just finding out about us and coming back after what happened to me... How am I supposed to just be fine? I was already nervous just for having to walk in those doors and getting back to work on its own.”, he said.

“You’ll do great. I believe in you. Just... take a breath.”, she said, stroking his arms. “Now... did you take your med?”

“No. I’ll go take it now.”, he said.

“Okay. How much longer are you on them?”, she asked.

“One more round of the antibiotics after this and then the doctor said I’ll be fine.”, he said.

“Do you need any of the pain meds?”, she asked.

“I’m actually feeling alright.”, he said from the bathroom.

“Really? You’ve had to take them everyday so far.”, she said.

“There’s been a couple days I didn’t need to. I’ll be okay. Promise.”, he said, walking back out to her. “Go get dressed and we’ll leave.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said, heading to the bedroom.

“Oh and thank you for breakfast. Usually _I’m_ the one making it. It was nice.”, he smiled. 

“I can always cook more.”, she said.

“I like cooking _for_ you.”, he said. She smiled back at him and went to get dressed. 

Once she was all ready, they headed out to work. When they got there, they walked in together for the first time, openly as a couple. They held each other’s hands and she walked him into his office.

“How are you feeling?”, she asked him as he set his briefcase down.

“I’m taking deep breaths.”, he nodded.

“Do you need anything from me before I start work?”, she asked.

“No, I think I’m okay. Thank you, hun.”, he said, sitting down and pulling out papers.

“Alright, just let me know.”, she said, giving him a peck on the cheek and walking down to her desk.

She set her bag down and grabbed a few case files, getting to work. Derek walked over and leaned against her desk, holding a cup of coffee and handing it to her. 

“ _Ugh. Thank you_.”, she sighed. “I didn’t make any this morning.”

He looked up to Hotch’s office and back at her. “Does he have any idea?”, he asked.

“Not a clue.”, she smiled.

“So when are we doing it?”, he asked.

“JJ said she was picking up the cupcakes. And Garcia told us she brought the banner. He has a meeting right after lunch with the director that he’s nervous about so maybe before that to cheer him up.”, she said.

“Sounds good. What does the banner say and how big is it because I don’t wanna do too much cleanin’ up.”, he said.

“We picked out the letters and spelled out “ _Welcome Back!_ ” and put them together on the banner so it shouldn’t be any cleanup really. It’s not huge.”, she said.

“Sounds good. Lemme know when to grab everyone.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said as he walked back to his desk.

A couple hours later, Emily noticed Hotch was taking a break and looked over at Derek, giving him a signal to get everyone into the conference room with the banner and cupcakes. She waited a couple minutes before she walked up to Hotch’s office and poked her head in.

“Hey, you busy?”, she asked.

“No, no. Come in.”, he said. 

“Actually, JJ wanted everyone in the conference room.”, she said.

“We have a case?”, he asked, standing up.

“I don’t know. She just told me to come grab you.”, she said.

He walked out with her, down to the conference room and opened the door.

“Welcome back!”, everyone shouted.

He couldn’t help but start smiling big and chuckled.

“What _is_ all of this?”, he asked, stepping in.

“Well... we wanted to welcome you back. Duh.”, Rossi said.

“We even got cupcakes.”, Spencer said, handing him one.

“Wow. You guys really didn’t have to do anything special.”, Hotch said.

“Yes. We did. A couple weeks feels like forever when you’re not here.”, Spencer said.

“Thanks.”, Hotch smiled. “Were you in on this?”, he asked, looking at Emily next to him.

“I might’ve been.”, she grinned.

“I’d give you a kiss right now but trying not to have too much PDA at work.”, he said.

“I know. You can kiss me later.”, she smiled.

After a little bit of catching up about a case from the week before, Hotch stood up.

“Listen, I hate to cut this short but the director has to be somewhere else later and asked if we could meet earlier so I have to get ready for the meeting. But this was really nice. I appreciate it.”, he said.

“We’re just glad you’re back and feeling better. And good luck.”, Derek said.

“Thanks.”, Hotch said, walking out.

“I really think that put him in a better mood. Thank you guys.”, Emily said.

“I hope so.”, Rossi said.

They all cleaned up and got back to work. Emily saw Hotch stand up and pace in his office and grab his stomach, sitting down. She went up to his office and walked in to check on him.

“You alright?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I’m just... having a little pain.”, he said.

“A _little?_ It looks like a little more than that.”, she said.

“It doesn’t matter. I left the pills at home anyways.”, he said.

“Let me go grab them.”, she said.

“What? I can’t ask you to do that, Em.”, he said.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“The fact that you aren’t refusing and being stubborn, tells me you’re in pain. I’m _sure_. Think of it as a little extra long lunch break.”, she said.

“Alright. Fine. But just hurry. I don’t want you missing out on too much work just for me. And I have my meeting soon.”, he said.

“I will.”, she said.

“Oh, but drive safe, _please!_ ”, he said.

“I will.”, she said, walking out. Emily headed to her car and drove home to grab his pain medication. 

When she got there, she walked in the bathroom and grabbed the bottle from the medicine cabinet only to find it empty. She pulled out her phone and called Hotch.

“Hey, everything alright? Director’s about to walk in.”, he said when he answered.

“Oh, yeah. Um, the pill bottle is empty. You’re all out. It says you have one more refill but I’d have to call the doctor to send over the prescription to a pharmacy. Do you want me to call him?”, she asked.

“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind. I’m sorry.”, he said.

“It’s okay! I’ve got it. I’ll call him right now and bring it back with me when I get it.”, she said.

“Alright. Thanks, babe. Love you.”, he said, rushed.

“Love you too, good luck.”, she said.

“Thanks. Bye.”, he hung up.

After Emily got off the phone with him, she called his doctor. “Hi. Dr. Goldstein? It’s Emily Prentiss, I’ve come in with-“, she started.

“Agent Hotchner. Right, I remember. What can I do for you? Is he feeling alright?”, he asked.

“For the most part. He’s in a really important meeting right now and busy all day so I came home to grab his pain meds because he was having some discomfort. But it seems as though he ran out. It says there’s one refill available. I was hoping to maybe get that sent over to the pharmacy for me to pick up as soon as possible.”, she said.

“Sure. I would’ve thought he’d fill it sooner.”, he said.

“He’s very stubborn. He hasn’t needed it everyday or has tried to go without it but I think at work, being in pain, he needs it.”, she said.

“No problem. Let me just pull up the order.”, he said.

“Also, he just finished the bottle of antibiotics. He said he has one more round of it so if he could get that filled too...”, she said.

“Alright, I’ll bring that up as well.”, he said.

“While I have you on the phone... I had a question or... wondering rather...”, she said.

“I probably have an answer.”, he chuckled.

“Um... how long exactly until he’s... able to... engage in... physical activities?”, she asked.

“Well, as I told him last week, he’s fine to go back out into the field to a certain degree. No running around, chasing criminals or being in a situation where he needs to use his gun or handcuff someone. But walking around and driving to and from places for work is fine.”, he said.

“That’s what I thought. And... other things... physical?”, she asked.

“You mean sexual activity?”, he asked.

“Um... yeah... I guess so.”, she nervously laughed.

“As I _also_ told him, as far as _that_ goes, he’s alright to resume with that just as long as it’s nothing too strenuous or too intense.”, he said.

“Oh. Really? He told me you said it’d be a few weeks or so.”, she said.

“Mmm no. I don’t believe so. Maybe for trying something more physically demanding on his part you could say but overall, as long as he takes it somewhat easy, he’s okay to engage in sexual activity now.”, he said.

“Oh... okay.”, she said, confused as to why Hotch had told her otherwise before.

“Well, I just sent those prescriptions in and they should be ready at the pharmacy within a half hour.”, he said.

“Great. Thank you so much.”, she said.

“No problem and tell him to come in if he’s still in pain after another week- week and a half.”, he said.

“I will. Thank you.”, she said.

“Have a good day.”, he hung up.

Emily made a quick snack before she headed out and drove to the drugstore to grab his prescription. When she got there, she walked around, browsing through the aisles. After a few minutes, Hotch called her.

“Hey. How’d the meeting go?”, she answered.

“Better than I thought. I feel like I can breathe a little better. Were you able to get a hold of the doctor?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I’m just at the drugstore right now, waiting till the prescription is ready. I also refilled your antibiotics too.”, she said.

“Thank you _so much._ I don’t know when I would’ve had time to do that.”, he said.

“Well, now you don’t have to.”, she said.

“I think I might keep you around.”, he chuckled.

“Oh good. I actually kind of like you.”, she laughed.

“I kind of like you too.”, he laughed. “Oh, soooo I was thinking... maybe tonight after work, we could pick up a couple movies, set up the new tv in the bedroom, make some popcorn?”, he asked.

“Oooo, that sounds fun.”, she said.

“Yeah? Alright well hopefully that’ll make it up to you.”, he said.

“Make what up to me?”, she asked.

“I have to stay late tonight. Catch up on some work I missed the past couple weeks.”, he sighed.

“Oh... well, that’s okay. I can go pick up some movies before you get back.”, she said.

“No, no. I love going to that video store. They always have the free bags of popcorn, the cool upstairs area with all the horror movies and foreign films. I love the vibe of it. They have _everything_. We’ll go together. I’ll see if I can finish some of this up during lunch right now so I can leave a little earlier.”, he said.

“No, honey, you need to eat and you need a break. Please, take a break right now. Your body and mind need to refresh.”, she said.

“What would I do without you?”, he said.

“Probably work yourself to death.”, she said.

“ _Probably_.”, he laughed.

“If you want, I can buy some bags of popcorn now since it’s here.”, she said.

“Yeah, do that.”, he said.

“Alright. Oh, it looks like your meds are ready. I’m gonna grab those and then I’ll head back to work.”, she said.

“Alright. Thank you again. Drive safe.”, he said.

“Alright, love you.”, she said.

“Love you too. Bye.”, he hung up.

Emily put her phone away and went to grab Hotch’s prescriptions from the counter. She walked down an aisle and grabbed a box of popcorn. After she paid for it at the front, she got in her car and drove back to work.

Right when she got back, she walked straight to Hotch’s office with the pill bottle in one hand and a water bottle in the other. She stepped up to his desk and handed him both.

“Thanks, hun.”, he said, throwing his head back and swallowing the pill with a gulp of water.

“Yeah, of course. Did you need anything else?”, she asked.

“No, I’m good. Or- well, I _will_ be once this kicks in. I’m sorry you had to spend time calling the doctor and going to the pharmacy to get it.”, he said, taking another drink of water. 

“It wasn’t any bother and besides, I hate to see you in pain.”, she said.

“Well, I’m very grateful for you.”, he said.

“I’m very grateful for you too. Now drink more of that water and I brought you a protein bar too from home.”, she said, handing it to him. He gave her a look and she raised an eyebrow. “Aaron, I know you. There is no way you actually ate lunch.”

“ _Fine_ . I haven’t eaten yet, _but-_ “, he started.

“Uh uh.”, she held up a finger. “No _buts_. Eat. Drink. Take care of yourself. I should’ve made you a real lunch at home while I was there.”, she said.

“You already did a lot for me today.”, he said.

“Apparently not enough.”, she said.

“No. You did.”, he said.

“You look very handsome with the red tie. It was a good choice.”, she smiled.

“Go do some work and stop hitting on your boss.”, he laughed.

She rolled her eyes and started to walk away. She stopped and turned around. “Eat your protein bar and _stop looking at your subordinate’s ass._ ”, she smirked.

“How’d you know I was-“, he started.

“ _I told you. I know you._ ”, she laughed, walking back to her desk. 

At the end of the day, JJ stopped by Emily’s desk as she was getting up from it and they headed out to their cars together. 

“Hey, do you wanna come over for a drink? Hang out with me and Will? Aaron can come by once he’s off too.”, JJ said.

“I’d love to and I’m sure he would as well but we have a movie date. At home. We were gonna set up the new flat screen we got in the bedroom. And also... I called his doctor today to refill a prescription and I asked him about when we can finally be... _intimate_ you know and he said he told Aaron we already could. I don’t know why he didn’t tell me but I’m gonna go home and shave while I still have time.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh, that’s great. Maybe he’ll stop acting so weird now or whatever it was that’s been going on.”, JJ said.

“I hope so. But yeah, my plan tonight is to go home, shave everywhere, go with him to get a couple movies once he’s back, and set up the new tv. Hopefully once the movie’s going, I can get something _else_ going.”, Emily smirked.

“Well that sounds like a perfect night. Other than having to shave. Do you know how _long_ it would be for me since I shaved last if I didn’t wear skirts for work sometimes? A _long_ time.”, JJ said.

“I almost never wear anything other than pants and I know Aaron doesn’t care if I shave. I once went like a couple weeks without shaving and I was hitting the brakes when he started touching me one night and he just laughed and said he didn’t care at all and didn’t even notice. But still, I like the feeling after shaving and he _does_ love running his hands along my legs right after because he loves how smooth they are, you know how they are like _right after?_ ”, Emily laughed.

“Oh my god, I know! I love that too.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah, so, I’m gonna go do that now but I’ll text you later.”, Emily said, giving JJ a hug.

“Alright, let me know how everything goes. And when I say that, I mean just if he was still acting weird or not or if you’re all good now. I don’t need details.”, JJ said.

“For sure. Drive safe.”, Emily said.

“You too.”, JJ said back, both of them getting in their cars.

Emily drove home and once she arrived, she went straight for the bathroom. She got unchanged and hopped in the shower. She rinsed off before grabbing her razor and shaving everywhere. 

After finishing up in the shower, she got out, changed into jeans and a flannel, and straightened her hair just to look a little extra cute for later. 

Once she finished putting on the tiniest bit of makeup, just foundation and mascara, Hotch walked in the door.

“Hey, hun! I’m home.”, he called out and walked into the bedroom.

“Hey. How was the rest of the night?”, she asked, stepping out of the bathroom and up to him.

He sighed, “Long, tiring, boring. But... it felt nice to be back. Better than I thought.”, giving her a kiss.

“How’s Will? He gave you a ride, right?”, she asked.

“Yeah. He’s good. Showed me a cute video of Henry. I remember when I was like that with Jack. All of their first things as a baby are so exciting, you just wanna capture every moment and brag about them.”, he said, holding onto her sides as she wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m sure we’ll be those annoying parents that show off a bunch of videos and pictures and only talk about _our_ baby and just irritate the crap out of everyone. Talk about how she’s cuter than all the others.”, she laughed.

“Oh but she _will_ be.”, he said.

“You’re right. She will.”, she smiled before he kissed her again.

“Come on, let’s go grab some movies.”, he said, putting his arm around her and walking out of the apartment to their car. He tried to get in the driver's seat but she scolded him and got in herself.

When they arrived at the video store, they walked around and went upstairs to the horror movie section. 

“Why are we looking in here? It’s not even Halloween.”, he said.

“Well maybe with a scary movie, I can curl up in your arms when I get scared just like on first dates at the movie theaters. _Would you protect me?_ ”, she teased him, playing with his tie and giggling.

“Why don’t we just get an old black and white classic?”, he said, seeming completely oblivious. He took her hand and walked back downstairs, leaving her confused for why he shut it down.

They got down to the _classics_ section after grabbing a couple small bags of free popcorn set out for guests while they browse. While they were going through them all, he came upon a movie and he picked it out, very excited.

“Em! Let’s get this! “ _It Happened One Night_ ”, your favorite. We never got to finish it on our first date.”, he said.

“Okay, yeah. But one more.”, she said, searching until she grabbed one. “How about “ _Roman Holiday_ ”, one of yours _and_ my favorites?”, she said.

“Let’s do it.”, he said.

After paying for the movies, they headed back home. When they got there, Emily got changed while Hotch decided to take a shower.

“Hey. You want any company in there?”, she asked him, rubbing his shoulders while kissing his neck as he grabbed his pajamas from the drawers.

“No, that’s alright. I just wanna hop in real quick so we can set up the tv and start the movie.”, he said, walking into the bathroom and locking the door.

She stood there, feeling rejected yet again. He’d barely acknowledged her. While he was in there, she went out to the kitchen and started the popcorn. When it was done, she poured it in a giant bowl and walked back into the bedroom to find him hooking up the tv already.

“Wow, look at you. Already hard at work. Can I help?”, she asked, setting the popcorn down after taking a handful.

“Can you hand me that wire with the blue tip?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said, reaching it over to him. 

“Thank you.”, he said.

Once it was all done, she jumped on the bed with the remote and grabbed the bowl of popcorn. She turned it on and patted the bed beside her. He climbed on and sat down next to her again after the pillows set up against the headboard.

“Did you add-“, he started.

“Extra butter? Of course.”, she said.

“I love how well you know me.”, he smiled.

“Our minds just think alike.”, she smiled back.

“Can you believe how big it is?”, he said, getting up again to put the movie in.

“I know. I love it!”, she said.

“Which one?”, he asked, holding up both of the movies.

“Mmmm... _Roman Holiday_.”, she said.

“Once again, you read my mind.”, he said, taking the disc out and put it in before getting back on the bed, sitting next to her again.

“ I haven’t seen this in forever.”, she said.

“Me neither. Never had anyone to watch it with and I don’t always enjoy romance movies by myself. It’s just kind of sad.”, he chuckled.

“Well, now you have someone who loves all those old movies and 50’s music and everything.”, she said.

“You know, I believe that was one of our first real conversations or things we bonded over. Remember when “ _A Teenager In Love_ ”, by Dion and the Belmonts came on in that diner in L.A. that night we went out?”, he asked.

“Yes. That’s when I knew I couldn’t let you go.”, she laughed.

“You’re very rare, Emily. Very unique. Very _special_.”, he said. 

“I could say the same about _you_.”, she said.

They smiled at each other and looked back at the tv, watching the opening credits and movie begin.

“Look how young and beautiful Audrey Hepburn is here. It was one of her first movies and she just- It reminds me of you when I first met you.”, he said.

“Are you saying I don’t look young and beautiful still?”, she asked.

“No, no, no, no, no. You still look young and you _are_ . You’re _unbelievably beautiful_ , hun. I didn’t mean it like that.”, he said.

“I know. I’m just messing with you.”, she giggled.

“Dammit! Why do you always do that? You scare me.”, he laughed.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’re lucky I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too, babe.”, she said, leaning in for a kiss.

“Okay now, _today_ , a taxi driver would be a lot more suspicious about an older man, a stranger like that, helping a young girl who was obviously knocked out from that shot she got to help her sleep, into the cab and eventually taking her back to his place like that. I mean, _come on._ ”, he laughed, pointing to the screen.

“ _And_ no girl would wake up in the morning and be totally okay with the fact that he just brought her to his place and had her crash there. Also how did she believe him when he said he didn’t know who she was? She was a royal princess. There was press _everywhere_.”, she said.

“Yet they still end up falling in love.”, he said.

As the movie went on, they ate more popcorn, laughed a decent amount, and enjoyed a fun night together which they hadn’t seemed to have just the two of them for a while. 

At a certain point they were both silent, intently just watching the movie when Emily slowly turned her head and leaned in to Hotch’s side. She brought her lips to his neck and started placing gentle kisses on it. However, Hotch wasn’t even paying attention.

“Oh my god, this part. This has to be one of my favorites out of the whole movie.”, he said, excited.

“Mmhmmmm.”, Emily hummed against his neck, not even looking at the tv.

“How did they manage to keep a straight face when filming this scene?”, he said.

“I don’t know.”, she whispered, breathing hot against his skin before running her tongue along him with each spot she kissed.

She continued kissing him in hopes he would turn his head and reciprocate or at least acknowledge but he didn’t. His eyes stayed glued to the tv screen. She eventually brought her hands to him, moving one along his arm up and down. She took her other hand to his back and ran it up his neck into his hair, finally catching his attention.

“What are you doing?”, he chuckled, glancing over at her and back to in front of him.

“Just tryna make you feel good.”, she said slowly and quietly, smiling. 

“Oh! This right here!”, he said, excited about his favorite scene.

She moved her lips to behind his ear and kissed all the way down and along his jawline. She gradually moved her hand to his chest and rubbed it, stopping for a second when he flinched at first but continued once he was still again, along with everything else. After a minute, she brought her hand to the bottom of his shirt and right as her hand went under it, before she could even touch him or move it any higher, he grabbed it. He took it out and squeezed it, holding and setting their hands down next to them and stroking it.

She tried not to care and released her hand from his. She brought it to the opposite side of his head after her lips made their way from near his shoulder, back to his neck, using her other hand to rub his leg. 

“Oooo! Third time!”, he laughed. “He just knocked him out of his chair like no problem. Did that guy just not have any clue that he needed to shut-“, he said. Before she interrupted him. At that point, she’d lost it. Emily pulled herself off of him and let it all out.

“ _Oh my god! Seriously?!_ ”, she said.

Hotch looked back and forth between her and the tv, confused. “ _What?_ ”, he asked.

“I’m kissing you all over and rubbing your leg and chest and all you can pay attention to is the freaking movie and laugh at that guy falling out of his chair!”, she said.

“Em-“, he tried.

“Did it not _feel good?_ Are you not in the _mood?_ Could you just not tell what I was trying to _do?_ ”, she asked, frustrated.

“No, I-“, he started.

“Did you not like that? Did I do something? Do I look bad? Are my pajamas just not sexy enough for you? I get that they’re just shorts and a tank top but that’s never seemed to be a big deal for you. I even shaved!”, she said.

“Of course, you don’t look bad. You are beautiful no matter _what_ you wear. And you know I don’t care if you shave or not.”, he said.

“Okay, well what is it? Do you just not want to have sex with _me?_ ”, she asked.

“That is not the case at all.”, he said.

“Then what _is it?_ ”, she asked.

“The doctor just hasn’t cleared-“, he started.

“No. Don’t give me that. Don’t lie to me. I spoke with your doctor today and he said he told you that you _are_ okay to have sex now.”, she said.

He bit his lip and looked down, scooting to face her. “I’m sorry...”, he said.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why’d you lie? I’d think that if you were to not tell me the truth, it’d be that he _didn’t_ clear you but you said he did so you wouldn’t have to wait. So why would you lie about _this_ and hold this back from me?”, she asked.

“I don’t know...”, he said.

“I think you actually do.”, she said. He looked down and was silent. “Aaron, what’s going on? The past couple weeks you’ve been acting so different. Your mood is all over the place, you’ve been having anxiety and outbursts, you don’t talk to me about any of it. Other than that little bit this morning. I try to see if I can do anything for you in bed since you _weren’t_ able to do everything, and you shut everything down. Even if I can _feel_ you’re in the mood. You barely touch _me_ that way and don’t want me to take a shower with you. You change in the bathroom and lock the door. You won’t get naked in front of me even to get dressed. Since when did we have a problem with that? And whenever my hand goes on your chest, you flinch. You always pull my hand away or move when it goes under your shirt or I try to take it off. You’re different... _What’s going on?_ ”, she asked, concerned and less angry.

“Emily...”, he sighed.

“Aaron, _please_ ... If you don’t want to have sex, just tell me. I’ll understand. I know it’s a weird time right now and if you just don’t want to or don’t feel like you _are_ well enough yet, that’s okay. I won’t be mad. I’m not upset that you don’t want to or you won’t for whatever reason. I’m upset because you _lied_ to me about it and won’t tell me _why_.”, she said.

“I don’t know how...”, he said, quietly, seemingly mopey.

“What do you mean?”, she asked.

“I don’t know how... I don’t know _how_ to tell you _what’s going on_.”, he said.

“Okay... let’s break it down.”, she nodded.

“Alright...”, he said.

“Why has your mood been all over the place? What are you _feeling?_ ”, she asked.

“I guess... I’ve been feeling kind of... hopeless.”, he said, looking up at her with sad eyes.

“Okay.”, she frowned. “How come?”, she asked, taking him through it, step by step.

“I had so much? I was really happy and in a really good place for the first time in a long time. And then... I was almost killed. And now my family is in danger because of it. And the only way that I can protect them is by having them taken away somewhere I don’t even know. I don’t even know where they are. I can’t talk to them. I can’t see them. I can’t do anything _with_ them or _for_ them and the hardest part is not only was it so sudden and I barely got to say _goodbye_ but... I have no idea _when_ I’ll get to see them again, how long this is gonna go on for or even _talk_ to them again... And knowing that he’s still out there...”, he shook his head. “The only thing that’s holding me together right now is _you_... Emily, I really don’t know what I would do without you. You are my family too. And I’m just so grateful I still have you.”, he said, his voice wobbly.

She nodded and choked back tears before scooting up to him and held his hands. “I don’t care _what_ happens... I’m not going anywhere.”, she said.

He nodded lightly and tried to smile. “Thank you.”, he whispered.

“Okay. Next thing... Why won’t you let me do anything for you in bed?”, she asked.

“Now _that_ , I don’t know. It’s just been feeling like an instinct to stop every time. Maybe because I feel like it’d be unfair. _Me_ being taken care of with that while _you_ aren’t because I’m not doing _any_ of it.”, he said.

“Okay... What about not wanting to change or get dressed in front of me? And not wanting me in the shower with you.”, she said. He didn’t answer but just looked down again and shut his eyes. “What is it?”, she asked.

“It sounds stupid...”, he said.

“No. Your feelings are valid. Just try to explain your best.”, she said.

He sighed, “I haven’t been able to look in a mirror with my shirt off ever since... it happened.”

“Okay...”, she nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”, he said.

“Like what? You didn’t want me to see your scars?”, she asked. He looked off to the side and rolled his lips in. “I’ve cleaned your stitches. I’ve seen the scars.”

“It’s not the same...”, he said.

“How?”, she asked.

“It’s different because now. This is the end result and this is what it’s gonna be like forever and it’s not just like a cut where it’s bloody or bad and who cares who sees that because it’ll heal and you won’t have to look at it forever but with this, you _do_ . This is my body now and I just... _hate this_ . If _I_ can’t even look at myself, how do I expect _you_ to? You’ve always loved my body and now it’s not the same. Now there are scars, that not only remind me that I’ll always have them but that remind me of that night. That remind me of how weak and powerless I felt. How I let him do this to me...”, he said, lowering his head.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“I feel insecure about how it looks and also about how it makes me feel about myself and who I am now. I didn’t want you seeing _any_ of that.”, he said.

“Honey, I could never _not_ be attracted to you. No matter what. No matter what scars you may have, visible or not, emotional or physically on your body. None of that matters. Because I _love you._ Nothing can change that. You really are the sexiest man I know and you always will be.”, she smiled at him 

“I just don’t feel like it. But I’m sorry I’ve been shutting you out with that and not explaining it. I know I shouldn’t be afraid to change my shirt in front of you or take a shower with you or make love to you. But for some reason, I am...”, he said.

She took her hands and placed them on his face, bringing it back up to her. “I love you more than anything. Unconditionally.”, she said. With that, he leaned in and brought his lips to hers. After a minute, they both leaned in more and stood up on their knees, continuing until Emily pulled her tank top off and Hotch held her sides while she held his face again, pressing her lips to his.

Once she could tell he was finally into it more than earlier and more determined, hopefully more confident, she brought her hands down to the bottom of his shirt. Before she did anything else, she looked up at him and they stared at each other for a few seconds before he ever so slightly nodded his head. 

With him finally being okay with her seeing him shirtless, she lifted it up and he finished pulling it off. They both paused once it was gone and he waited for what she would do next and what her reaction would be. 

Emily stayed still, staring at his chest that had one faint scar from being cut during the struggle. She slowly placed her hand on it and looked up, meeting his eyes. She could feel his heart beating fast and knew how nervous he was. She looked down and pressed her forehead to his as she took in the sight of his nine other scars on his abs. She gently ran her hand down from the top, on his chest, to right by his hip.

She turned her chin up a bit and kept her forehead pressed to Hotch’s, staring deep in his eyes, close. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She took her hand from his hip and placed it on the side of his face, stroking it and running it through his hair, soothing him. 

He opened his eyes and carefully, hesitantly wrapped his arms around her body, pressing it against the front of his, feeling her warm skin on his. She wrapped _her_ arms around his neck and pulled herself in for a kiss, melting into each other.

After a few minutes, she began placing kisses down his neck and onto his chest. He snaked his hand around in her hair and opened his mouth when she came back up to his lips.

A minute later, she gently pushed him down to lay on his back while she stayed on top and laid flat against him until she began kissing him again all the way down to below his chest this time. She was able to count the scars as her lips moved all around the surface of his body. They weren’t as bad as she’d thought they would be but she still felt bad that Hotch was feeling the way he was and that he had to live with it.

She made it down to the waistband of his pants and tugged on them, leaving him in his boxers. She came back up to him and kissed him deep until, suddenly, he felt a wave of confidence wash over him and felt completely safe and secure with her. 

Hotch flipped her and hovered over her, looking in her eyes as he touched her face, tracing her cheekbone and kissed it. She ran her hands down his front, feeling the edges of his abs with a delicate touch, keeping eye contact before she pulled his face down for their lips to meet. 

He reached his hands down to her shorts and slid them off along with her underwear. Before he knew it, she was helping him with his own, throwing them off the bed.

He grabbed his hard member and stroked it until Emily took him in her hand and did the same for him. She could feel herself wet already and needed him, especially now that she finally _had_ him. She ran him along her entrance, biting her lip as she guided him in.

They both exhaled deep while he took his time moving in, wanting to feel her tight and taking every inch of him. Once he bottomed out, he stopped and opened his eyes to find her staring right into them. He leaned down and brought his lips to hers, melting into each other all over again.

He began to pull out but slid back in, beginning to set a pace. As their tongues danced around with each other’s, he grabbed both of her hands and put them around on either side of her head. He interlaced his fingers with hers and laid them flat, taking control which he hadn’t felt he’d had in a while. When he started rolling his hips in, Emily let out a moan.

“Mmm, _Aaron_.”, she said.

“ _Emily_...”, he whispered.

“God that feels _so good_.”, she said.

“Mmmmm.”, he moaned into her mouth.

“I love you so much, sweetie.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said.

“Oh, right there.”, she gasped.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re so tight, babe. You’re so fucking tight. You’re always so wet and tight for me.”, he groaned.

“Only for you.”, she said in a loving tone.

He looked at her with so much emotion, he didn’t even have to speak for her to know how he felt and what he was thinking. He moved his face to her neck and softly sucked on it as he kept going slow and was keeping it passionate.

When she started to feel him pick up the pace, she didn’t mind at all until she remembered what the doctor had said.

“Honey, that feels really good but you need to take it a little easier right now. Listen to the doctor.”, she said.

“I just miss you so much. I missed _this_.”, he said.

“I know but you need to be careful.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he breathed.

“Thank you. I want you to take care of yourself.”, she said

He continued to kiss her neck and collarbone and behind her ear, one of her favorite spots because it always tickled and she just thought it was so cute and so sweet when he did it. She almost giggled but wanted to keep the mood the way it was. 

“Ahhh, yesss.”, he said.

“Been a while, huh?”, she said.

“Definitely.”, he said.

“Well I’m all yours right now, babe.”, she said.

“Yes, you are. And _only_ mine.”, he groaned.

“ _Only_ yours.”, she moaned. “Oh- oh. Aaron, please.”

“Ahh sweetheart.”, he moaned.

“Mmm... I’m gonna come.”, she whispered.

“Me too. Please come for me, Em. _Please_.”, he said.

“Fuck, I’m about to-“, and before she could finish what she was saying, she came. “Ohhh! God, you’re so good, Aaron, shit.”, she hissed, moving her hips with his, riding out her high and hoping to help reach his climax too.

“I’m almost there, Em. Don’t stop what you’re doing. _Please_ , babe. Don’t stop.”, he grunted.

“Oooo. Fill me up, honey. Fuck me and fill me up.”, she moaned.

“Oh my god, _Em_ . You’re _so hot._ ”, he said.

“You _make_ me hot.”, she whispered.

“Oh shit, it’s coming, oh my god. Oh my god. I can feel it- it’s coming. Ahh. I- argh! I’m coming. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ah fuck, I’m coming, babe.”, he groaned, thrusting in deep and hard, not even caring that he was going so fast that wasn’t allowed for him at the moment. He _needed_ it. 

He squeezed her hands and pounded into her as hard and as fast he could, knowing he wasn’t supposed to. He brought his hand to Emily’s clit and started rubbing her fast and bringing her to her second orgasm within seconds while he rode out his high. He knew that the feeling of her clenching around him would make it that much better. 

“Oh my g- holy fuck, Em! Jesus! Oh god, don’t stop that! Don’t stop that at _all!_ Please, please don’t stop it. Argh!”, he grunted, still slamming into her, not having stopped ever since the second he reached his point. “Fuck, yeah. Oh god, you’re so good, hun. I can’t stop fucking you right now. Holy shit! Ah I’m still coming! Argh- yes!”, he yelled.

“Let it all out, babe. Just fuck me till you can’t any more. Just give it all to me. I want all of you.”, she said, bringing her hand down to her but he blocked it, starting to rub her _again_ and by the time she felt her third orgasm approaching, he was about to slow down but held on. He kept moving his hips until she was done and he collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her neck, kissing her all over, staying inside of her until he decided to pull out after a few minutes. She ran her hands through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, kissing the side of it until they sat up and scooted underneath the sheets, lying down and facing each other. She scooted into his arms and he held her.

“Jesus, Em. God, I’ve never felt like that before, that was _amazing_.”, he said, still out of breath.

“I could say the same. _Three times_. Can I tell you something?”, she asked.

“ _Anything_.”, he said.

“You found my g-spot right away during our very first time and have never failed to find it any other time. You always get me good, Hotchner.”, she giggled. “No one has ever been able to do that.”

“ _Really?_ ”, he asked, eyes wide and a huge smile on his face.

“ _Absolutely_.”, she smirked.

“Can I pull that card now and say, _like I told you, we’re meant to be?_ ”, he asked.

“Well, you just said it anyways, so...”, she said.

“That’s true, I did.”, he smiled, giving her a kiss.

“Thank you... for letting me in.”, she said.

“You’re the only one who I feel I can. I just don’t always do it at first.”, he said.

“We’ll work on it. We’ll work on better communication.”, she said.

“Okay. Sounds good.”, he said as she was rubbing his chest and he flinched again. She brought her hand to his stomach and he took her hand in his away from it and she looked at him confused. 

“I- I’m sorry. Force of habit.”, he said, bringing it back and holding his hand on top of hers on his chest. 

“It’s okay.”, she slightly smiled. “And... the scars... don’t bother me in wanting to touch you or anything at all. The only part that bothers me about it, isn’t not being attracted to you or creeped out or anything like that. It’s just that it makes me sad and hurt especially because it makes _you_ sad and hurt.”, she said.

“When I didn’t want to tell you or show you, it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you... It was because I didn’t wanna have to put you through that and having to deal with it.”, he said.

“Well, I appreciate it but know that you should always tell me about these things because I’m also concerned about _you_ lately. But we can talk about that more later. For now, I need sleep.”, she said.

“Me too.”, he said, reaching for the remote and turning the tv off, rolling back to her and letting her come back to him. 

She scooted up to him so her body was pressed against his and rested her head on his chest, hugging his torso. He felt a bit uneasy about it at first but the feeling quickly passed and he hugged her right back.

“Goodnight, hun. I love you. And... thank you... for being there for me and also for what we just did.”, he chuckled.

“I’ve been _trying_ to do _that_ for a _while_ now, so _really_ , I should be thanking _you_ because you’re right... that was _amazing_.”, she said.

“I didn’t even know that could happen for me or whatever that was but that was wild.”, he chuckled.

“It was indeed.”, she said.

“Okay, okay. Go to bed sweetie.”, he said.

“Alright, alright. I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too, like I said.”, he laughed and gave her a kiss on the head before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

  
  



	80. Headed To Portland

**Chapter 80**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


A few months later, Hotch was fully recuperated and cleared for everything at work. He and Emily had sent a few videos to Jack and Haley and received a few from them as well, making Hotch’s day each time but also making him and Emily cry. They were just happy that Jack and Haley were safe and seemingly happy, all things considered.

Monday night, Emily and Hotch were sound asleep when his phone rang, waking them both up. He reached for his phone and Emily stayed in place, not wanting to move until she knew they had to get up. 

“Hotchner... Oregon? Yeah... alright. We’ll be there soon... Thanks.”, Hotch said and hung up the phone.

“ _ Seriously? _ ”, Emily said, irritated.

“Yep. We got a case in Oregon. Let’s just get ready quickly and stop for coffee on the way.”, he said.

“You know what else we got?”, she asked, sitting up. “Less than 3 hours of sleep,  _ that’s _ what.”

“I  _ know _ . I’m just as tired as you.”, he said.

“Really? Because you’re already up and brushing your teeth. I haven’t even gotten on my feet yet.”, she said, rubbing her eyes.

“Come on, hun.”, he said, walking over to her. He took her hands and helped her up, dragging her in the bathroom and handing her her toothbrush and toothpaste.

“Can I take a nap in the car?”, she asked.

“We aren’t  _ driving _ to Oregon.”, he laughed. “Take a nap on the jet after we’re done going over the case.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she sighed. 

While Hotch was packing his go-bag for the first time in months, Emily walked out to heat up a couple pieces of toast. But once she did, she looked over towards Jack’s room, missing him even more than most days. Knowing they’d be going out of town always made them miss him and this was the first case out of town where they had to travel, since he’d been gone. 

Whenever they were on a case before, they’d always try to call Jack to say  _ goodnight _ or if they were back at the hotel by a reasonable time, read him a bedtime story. There were some that they had memorized but typically they brought one or two of his favorite books with them just to make sure.

She walked into his room to grab one, figuring since they couldn’t call him, maybe they could take a video of them reading him a story and saying  _ goodnight _ and send it. 

She stepped over to his bookshelf and bent down. She searched for a couple of his favorites. When he was really sleepy, he loved to listen to, “ _ Goodnight Moon _ ”. He also loved all of the Dr. Seuss books. His favorite one however, was, “ _ The Cat in the Hat _ ”. He loved it for daytime  _ and _ nighttime.

She looked above that level of the shelf and saw a picture set on it. She grabbed the frame and stared at it. 

It was a picture of her and Jack and Hotch together at the county fair earlier that year in Spring. Jack was holding up a teddy bear bigger than him from a game he’d won. She looked over at his bed and saw it laying there. He slept with it every night. She reached over to grab it and finally sat down on the floor, holding it and the picture, focusing on it, remembering every part of that night.

When Hotch couldn’t hear her, he set his suit jacket down before he could slip it on, to go check on her. He noticed Jack’s door open and walked over to his room and stood in the doorway, watching her until he heard her sniffle. He stepped closer and sat down next to her, turning his head to hers at first, noticing the few tears that were coming down, and then down at the picture. 

“That was a fun night.”, he said. She nodded and kept her head down. “I remember how he  _ begged _ us to let him get cotton candy and we kept saying  _ no _ . It’s literally straight sugar! I felt so bad because every kid should get to have some cotton candy at a fair. It’s the best and it’s not like he has it all the time. I felt like I was gonna win big points with him if I got him some. So I told you guys I was going to go to the bathroom but I really went to go get him some cotton candy instead. I was  _ gonna _ surprise him. But  _ somebody _ beat me to it.”, he said, nudging her, trying to make her laugh or at least smile even. “The look on his face when I came back…”, he shook his head and laughed. “I walked back over only to find him stuffing a giant piece of it in his mouth that you had gotten him while I held another thing of it… I couldn’t tell if he was more excited that I got him one and then he had  _ two _ or scared that he got caught eating the one  _ you  _ bought him, without my permission.”

“I think it was both. An equal amount of both.”, she laughed and sniffled. “You were too stubborn and wanted to finish eating some of it so I had to take him to the bathroom to wash his hands before we went to play any games or go on any more rides, because they got so sticky.”

“Three year olds tend to get a little messy when it comes to food like that.”, he laughed.

“Well, it was worth it. We won this right after.”, she said, squeezing the giant teddy bear.

“He would  _ not _ give up until he won it. We must have gone to more than five different games and played each one until he gave up.”, he said.

“Seven... It was seven different games we tried until he finally got it. His favorite was the one with the fake guns set up at that booth.”, she said.

“I don’t know how comfortable I felt with him playing with toy guns like that. I just don’t want him to love those video games with a bunch of violence in it and all the guns... I don’t want him to think they’re fun. I want him to understand the seriousness of weapons like that... and he’s still so young too...”, he said.

“I think he liked it because he felt like his daddy. He knows you go to work and catch the bad guys everyday and I know he really looks up to you and admires you... I think he thought it was fun or cool in some way because it made him think of you or feel like he was being  _ you _ .”, she smiled, turning to look at him gazing at her with a soft smile on his face.

He put his arm around her and wiped the tears off her face, rubbing her arm, and pressing his forehead to hers. She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose.

“I miss him too.”, he whispered. She leaned into him more and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Like you said before... one of the worst parts is not knowing  _ when _ we can see them or talk with them again.”, she said.

“I know. But we  _ will _ see them and talk with them again.”, he said, giving her a kiss on the head. “What did you come in here for?”

“I wanted to grab a book or two.”, she said.

“Feel like reading “ _ Goodnight Moon _ ” before you take a nap on the jet?”, he chuckled.

“No. I wanted to bring a couple and maybe we could take a video of us reading one for him.”, she said.

“Oh...”, his tone got softer, “Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.”, he said, rubbing her arm.

They stayed there for a few minutes until she finally started to stand up and he got up first to help her. She set the teddy bear back on Jack’s bed and grabbed the two books she’d picked out. He walked her back into the bedroom and finished getting ready.

“Do you have your go-bag packed and ready?”, he asked her.

“Yeah. I just need to get dressed. I made some toast if you wanna grab that before we leave.”, she said.

“Alright, just get dressed because we need to go.”, he said.

She got dressed and put the books in her bag, picking it up, grabbing her piece of toast, and both of them walking out together with his arm around her back.

When they arrived at the BAU, hand in hand, they walked into the conference room, all prepared to hit the jet. They sat down at the table, waiting for JJ to walk in. 

“Hey, did you wanna ride with me to the jet?”, Derek asked Emily. 

“Oh, um, I think I was just gonna ride with Aaron.”, she said.

“Ah. Gotcha.”, Derek said, seeming somewhat upset. She couldn’t tell if he was actually or was just trying to make her feel bad about ditching him.

“You know what... I  _ will _ ride with you.”, she said to Derek.

“Great!”, he said and leaned over to whisper, “I can tell you’re not in a happy mood right now. Maybe having some time to talk with a friend perhaps...? Might be good...?”, he said.

“Possibly, yeah.”, she nodded and looked over at Hotch next to her.

“Hey.”, she said to him.

“Hey, do you need a case file?”, he asked, looking around.

“I think JJ’s bringing them but I’m gonna ride with Derek.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Remember to bring my bag out when we get there?”, she asked.

“Of course.”, he smiled. “You look really tired.”

“I  _ am _ . I just want to sleep.  _ Now _ .”, she said.

“Just wait until we’re on the jet, after we’ve reviewed the case more. Think you can hold out until then?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she sighed.

“Alright, sorry about that, guys.”, JJ said, walking in and passing everyone a case file. “Who’s been to Portland?”

After they were done briefing the case, Derek and Emily headed out together. As they were driving, she was completely silent and staring out the window until he broke the silence and spoke. 

“So, what’s going on? Are you and Hotch alright?”, he asked.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, we’re good. I’m just kind of down right now.”, she said.

“How come?”, he asked.

“It’s just... Jack and Haley stuff.”, she said.

“You miss them?”, he asked.

“A lot but today more than usual. Some days it’s just...  _ more _ .”, she said.

“Listen, I know you might not want to talk about it with  _ me _ because of our history and this is connected to your relationship with Hotch but... I’m your friend. I don’t feel uncomfortable with you talking about your boyfriend.”, he said.

“Well, I appreciate it but to be honest, it  _ does _ feel a bit strange to with you specifically...”, she said.

“I don’t want it to. I really don’t. Can I do something to-“, he asked.

“It’s not anything you’ve said or done... it’s something  _ I _ have.”, she said.

“What are you taking about?”, he asked.

She took a deep breath and sighed, “I really don’t want to hurt you by saying this and I know I should have told you sooner especially because now you know how him and I have felt for each other before we got into a relationship... but I need to tell you.”, she said

“Alright...”, he said.

“Remember that time you found his jacket in my drawer?”, she asked, prepared to tell him part of the truth but definitely not all of it. At least that was the  _ plan _ .

“Yeah...?”, he said.

“Well, you asked me if I was sleeping with him on the side or if I was with you on the side.”, she said.

“Did you guys get together then? Did you  _ actually _ sleep with him then?”, he asked, almost sounding hurt.

“No, no, no. I just... I didn’t. We didn’t. But... I  _ did _ have feelings for him then and I think that’s part of the reason why you and I fell apart. I wasn’t fully in it with you and that was unfair of me to try and keep going with our relationship when I felt that way. I think I was doing that longer than I knew and I’m really sorry. You deserved better then.”, she said.

“Emily... I always felt like something was holding you back... I didn’t know what. But now I do. And I’m really happy for you. I’m happy for you not because you’re with another guy now but because you’re not being held back anymore. And because you’re happy. And that’s all I ever wanted and all I’ll ever want for you no matter what.”, he said.

“I feel like I used you in a way. I saw an opportunity to be with a great guy like you to try and forget about him. To try and make my feelings for him go away even. I didn’t realize I was doing that at first but I eventually did and instead of doing what was fair to you, I tried to ignore and keep going.  _ It wasn’t right. _ ”, she said.

“He’s our boss. It’s not like you could’ve told me how you felt about him. Especially since he was feeling that too and that would’ve just stirred up so much.”, he said.

“Maybe not but I could’ve ended it earlier, before it ended  _ bad _ . And I could have been more honest even without telling you about  _ him _ . But I panicked. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was aware of how I felt at a certain point but I didn’t want to admit it because that meant I had to admit I couldn’t be with him and that was too painful so I tried to use you to cover that and take that place.”, she said.

“I understand.”, he said.

“You understand?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I do.”, he said while she became frustrated, expecting a different response from him, one she felt she deserved, one that wasn’t so good.

“Okay, listen, I need to tell you more about it... because it wasn’t just unspoken feelings that we had.”, she said.

“Emily, it’s not necessary. It’s in the past.”, he said.

“Derek, please.”, she said and took a deep breath. “You’d pointed out some things that seemed suspicious to you then. I want to explain them and answer them honestly now... The night you saw us walking back into the hotel with me wearing his jacket... we weren’t really just standing outside the hotel and talking and it wasn’t the first night I wore that jacket.”, she said, looking at him.

“Emily, you don’t have to.”, he said.

“Derek. Please just let me explain. Please.”, she said.

“Alright... I’m listening.”, he said.

“That first night in L.A. we went out to grab some food after we got back to the hotel. We walked around afterwards and it started pouring rain. I got soaked and that’s why he gave me his jacket. I forgot to give it back to him that night. The next night, which was when you saw us, we were gonna go get some food again but it was late when we got back from the station. After you dropped me off at my room, he came by to check on me and changed the wraps on my arm because of the stitches. He put the jacket on me again and still wanted to go out to do something since we couldn’t grab food. So we went to the pier. We walked around the beach and sat down, watching the ocean and the moon and just talked for a long time. He asked me about you...”, she said.

“Me? Why?”, he asked.

“Because... he saw you touching my face and calling me  _ princess _ and I think he was jealous.”, she said.

“Hotch? Jealous of  _ me? _ ”, he laughed.

“Yeah, he asked about you and even rolled his eyes at the mention of your name a few times before you and I even got together.”, she said, not as amused as he was.

“I told him he was jealous of something the night of the party at your guys’ place but he denied it.”, he laughed.

“Anyways... he  _ was _ . But we went back to the hotel and the next day we got in a fight that was work related so at dinner with the team, things were tense and you kept touching my leg and making me laugh and I could tell he wasn’t happy about it. He went outside to take a call and I told you I needed to grab my jacket but really I wanted to check on him. We talked for a while and that’s why I was so late coming back into the restaurant. When he asked me to ride to the jet with him, it really  _ was _ to talk about the case but also to spend time together. The fight in his office-“, she started.

“Oh he already told us about that one.”, he said.

“Oh. Okay. One less thing to explain. I’m trying to go off the list of things you said back then that I can remember. Um... oh. The weird phone call in the middle of the night from him that I lied to you about at first... I hadn’t told anybody except for him about this but... I was getting really bad anxiety attacks back then. They’d just happen kind of randomly, well, usually triggered by something but some things wouldn’t always be triggers so it felt random. But he was the only one who knew. I had one that night and we weren’t exactly talking at that point but I knew I could still call him and I did and he stayed on the phone with me until I was calmed down. Um... when he was shot... it was... one of the scariest moments of my life. It happened right in front of me and I didn’t know if he was gonna make it. So...  _ yes _ , I  _ was _ crying for him at the hospital. I volunteered to stay back with him because... I  _ needed _ to. I  _ couldn’t leave him _ . I  _ needed _ to be with him. By that point, it was just... I don’t know how to explain. Our feelings for each other were intense. Everything was intense then. If that even makes sense...”, she said.

“It does... but... can I ask you something? And I promise I won’t get mad or judge you or anything like that.”, he said.

“Alright...”, she said, nervous for what was about to come out of his mouth.

“Did you kiss him at all during any of that time? Before or during the time we were together? Or do anything else?”, he asked.

She paused and tried to think everything through. She took another deep breath and looked down. 

“Yes.”, she said quietly. 

“Yes to which part?”, he asked.

“We kissed.”, she said.

“When?”, he asked.

“Before you and I were together...  _ and _ ... during the time we were...”, she said.

“Okay... how many times?”, he asked.

“Honestly... I don’t know.”, she said.

“Did you sleep with him?”, he asked.

“Derek...”, she said.

“Please. I told you. It’s in the past. I won’t get mad at you. I’m  _ hurt _ but... I understand how you felt. And we weren’t super serious or committed or together for a really long time... I just want to know the truth. You at  _ least _ owe me that.”, he said.

“Alright... the  _ truth _ ... Him and I weren’t  _ together _ but things kept happening on and off... including that, yes. We slept together... It happened  _ once _ .”, she said.

“Was that when we were together?”, he asked.

“I’m  _ so sorry _ ...”, she said.

“So I was right. I was right when I said all of those things that night I found his jacket.”, he said.

“Yes...”, she sighed.

“Why didn’t it happen again? What made you stop?”, he asked.

“We knew how bad it was, what we did. It just happened. It wasn’t planned. He told me he loved me that night and then he got shot the next day. It complicated so many things especially with Haley because they were still married...  _ Honestly _ , we both felt horrible about it.”, she gulped.

“Wait... he got shot the day after he told you that he loves you for the first time?”, he asked.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“I can recognize how hard that must’ve been for you.”, he nodded.

“You don’t have to say that.”, she said.

“It’s the truth. I’m really sorry that happened and if we were just friends then and I knew, I would’ve definitely been there for you.”, he said.

“I don’t even feel right about saying “ _ thank you _ ” for that. Derek, I’m  _ so _ sorry. You have no idea how guilty I felt... and still do. It’s not like me to have done that. I wasn’t faithful or honest with you. And... if there is anything I can ever  _ do _ ...”, she said.

“Thank you but... you learned from it and you were obviously meant to be with him. Not me. You’re a loyal person, Emily, and just because of one thing you did that wasn’t, doesn’t make you a bad person. I think you’re still very loyal. You made a bad decision, sure. It was wrong and I’m not saying that I don’t care at all and am happy about it. But... now you’re with him and you’re happy and like I said,  _ that’s _ what I’m happy about. At least it wasn’t just some random guy. It was someone who you loved. It was a long time ago by now and we have both moved on from each other. I need to learn to let this go and I hope you know I don’t resent you or him.”, he said.

“Seriously?”, she asked.

“Seriously.”, he said.

“You’re going to make some girl very happy someday, whenever that is, Derek. You’re a really great guy... Thank you...”, she said.

“We obviously weren’t meant to be anything more than what we became at that time. I just hope you guys stay together because I  _ do _ think you’re meant to.”, he said.

“That’s the plan.”, she laughed.

“Thank you for being honest with me and don’t worry... this is just between us.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she smiled shyly.

“Well, looks like we’re here. That conversation took up most of the drive.”, he laughed.

“I’m sorry, I know I went on and on.”, she said.

“It’s fine. I think it was good that happened.”, he said.

“Good.”, she smiled.

They got out of the SUV and he stopped her before getting on the jet.

“He loves you? He treats you well?”, he asked, checking to make sure Hotch really  _ was _ good  _ to _ her and good  _ for _ her.

“More than I knew was possible.”, she said, completely still.

“Okay, good. Because I don’t care if he’s my boss... if he does anything to hurt you-“, he said.

“I know. Thank you.”, she laughed. “But he won’t.”

They both got on the jet and she walked over to where Hotch was sitting. He looked up at her, waiting for her to say something.

“Is this seat taken?”, she giggled.

“It  _ is _ . I’m saving it for someone.”, he said.

“Hmmm... who might that be?”, she asked.

“My girlfriend.”, he whispered, looking around, pretending to be sneaky.

“Oh and uh...”, she started, “When might she be arriving?”, she whispered back.

“I don’t know but... you can keep me company for now I guess.”, he sighed, taking her bag off the seat next to him, allowing her to sit.

“I feel so special.”, she smiled.

“As you should.”, he said, taking her hand in his.

“Can I  _ finally _ take a nap now?”, she asked.

“Not yet. We still need to go over the case more but then after that, yes. I even brought you my travel size pillow.”, he said pulling it out.

“Aww, thank you.”, she smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. “So my room or yours tonight?”

“Whichever, they’re pretty much the same anyways.”, he said.

“Alright. Let’s just do yours.”, she said.

“Sounds good.”, he smiled.

After everyone else got on the jet and they reviewed the case, Hotch handed Emily the pillow and she put it behind her head. He kissed her cheek and looked at her as she closed her eyes.

“Goodnight, hun.”, he whispered.

“You should get some rest too.”, she said.

“I can’t right now but I will later, back at the hotel. Just rest your eyes right now. You need it.”, he said.

She smiled and leaned back in her seat more, falling asleep within a couple minutes. JJ walked over and sat down across from him, reviewing the files even more, like always.

“I feel bad for talking when she’s sleeping right here.”, JJ said.

“We can move over there if you want.”, he said.

Right after he said that, Emily let her head slide down and onto his shoulder, still fast asleep. He looked down at her and back at JJ.

“Maybe I can just lift her head up and-“, he started.

Emily leaned her whole body against him and nuzzled her head into his shoulder more.

“No. Don’t try and move her right now. This is sweet.”, JJ said.

“Remember last time this happened?”, Hotch said.

“Right before I found out about you guys. She asked if she was snoring again.”, JJ laughed.

“I so badly wanted to let her keep resting because she was so tired and just give her a kiss on the head but I couldn’t then.”, he said.

“You can  _ now _ .”, she said.

“I know. It feels good to be able to.”, he said. He looked down at Emily again and smiled. “She’s so cute.”, he said, carefully giving her a kiss on the head. “I don’t know why I even gave her a pillow if I knew she would just wind up sleeping on my shoulder.”

“Because you’re very thoughtful.”, she said.

“I guess. Aw, I wish I could bring her back to the hotel and she could just sleep in a real bed with a real pillow.”, he said, gently stroking her hair. 

“She’s fine. She can manage.”, JJ said.

“I know. I just want her to be comfortable and get good sleep.”, he said.

“She’s napping on  _ you _ . I’d say she’s pretty comfortable.”, she said.

“Well, if she’s not using this pillow, would you mind putting it back in one of our bags?”, he asked, handing it to JJ.

“Sure.”, she said. She picked up Emily’s bag and opened it. She pulled out the books she had packed earlier and held them up.

“What are these for?”, she asked.

“Whenever we’re away on a case, we usually call Jack at night and read him a bedtime story or just say  _ goodnight _ if we’re still at the station. Since we can’t do that, she wanted to take a video of us reading him a story that we can send to them.”, he said.

“Are these his two favorites?”, JJ asked.

“I guess so. I knew he liked them but I guess I didn’t know he had favorites. Emily did though.”, he said. JJ looked at her and back to Hotch and smiled. “What?”

“She’s gonna be a great mom.”, she said.

“I know.”, he smiled. “We’ve talked about it a little more. Not necessarily about when but little things like what we think she’ll be like and things we’ll want to teach her.”, he said.

“ _ She? You want a girl? _ ”, she asked.

“Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, a boy would be great too but we’re hoping whenever it  _ does _ happen, that it’ll be a girl. We both just have a feeling it  _ will _ be.”, he said.

“You don’t get to choose.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah, I know but for now, we say “ _ she _ ” and “ _ her _ ”, just hoping. Besides, it’d be so cute to see Jack have a little sister and he would definitely be really sweet with her but also be that protective older brother. I’m definitely the type of dad that would just happen to be cleaning or loading my gun when her date comes to pick her up. I’d definitely give that “ _ She will be home by 10:00 and if she’s not... I have a shovel and a hole dug in the backyard already. _ ”, and I’d also be the type of dad to flash the porch lights if they are taking too long to get out of the car when they come back home.”, he laughed.

“I don’t think you need to do any of those things to scare away anyone she’ll date. Not only are you a big guy and have this look on your face that’s just terrifying sometimes and so serious, but... you’re an FBI agent. If her dates know that, that’s enough to make them shit their pants most likely.”, she laughed.

“You’re right but still, I’ve always wanted to do those things... especially since... I might not be able to say I’m an FBI agent at that point or even shortly after she’s born...”, he said.

“What do you mean?”, she asked.

“Obviously it depends on a few things including when the time is that this will happen but whenever it does, I’m... most likely... going to leave the bureau.”, he said.

“ _ What? _ ”, JJ whispered. “ _ Why? _ ”

“I haven’t done the best job with being there for Jack so far, raising him, being in his life that much. More so now, ever since Haley and I got divorced surprisingly enough but overall, Haley has done so much more than me. And look at what it’s cost me... I’m not making that mistake again. When Emily and I have a baby, I wanna be there for all of it. I wanna take care of her and let Emily succeed further in her career and do what she wants. Obviously while still being in our child’s life a regular amount because she has made it clear she doesn’t want to end up like her mother but I want her to be the one going to work if she wants and I want to be able to have our kid have a parent home all the time if I can. I want to do better this time. For Jack too.”, he said.

“I thought you would just cut back your time, if even that.”, she said.

“I couldn’t exactly do that as Unit Chief. If I stepped down to a lower position, then maybe, but it could be a really good thing having me home all the time. And Emily deserves a chance to work hard and go for what she wants. Just because she has a kid, doesn’t mean it’ll hold her back. Just like you. You haven’t let it hold you back but you’re still there for Henry a lot and you’re a great mom but work hard and it hasn’t interrupted too much of either thing. I think we both really admire that and you make it work.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked, touched.

“ _ Yeah _ . JJ it’s very impressive how you do everything. I think Emily really wants to be able to do it just like you.”, he said.

“It’s hard. But... having Will at home... really  _ does _ help.”, she said.

“I’d do anything for our kid and for Jack. But that was one thing she didn’t want this past time. She didn’t want me to quit my job to do that but I think that it would be different whenever we do have a kid because it’s a different time even now than it was then. Things are different. If we could have a baby  _ now _ , I would be  _ all for it  _ but I think she still needs more time and that’s alright.”, he said, looking at her. 

Emily started moving around and he placed his hand on her thigh. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, instantly freaked out and started to sit right up but he laid her head back down.

“It’s okay, hun. Remember... we don’t have to hide anymore.”, he said.

She relaxed and smiled at him, nuzzling her head in more. 

“Oh,  _ right _ . Sorry.  _ Force of habit. _ ”, she said.

“Well, you better break that habit because it’s done. No more of that.”, he said.

She linked arms with him and threw her other one across his torso, hugging him and holding on. Looking down at her, he smiled and put his arm around her back, keeping her close and giving her head a kiss.

“Are you going back to sleep?”, he asked.

“Mmhmm.”, she nodded, closing her eyes. 

“Okay, get some rest, sweetie.”, he said, rubbing her back.

“I think  _ now _ I’ll head back to my seat. Let you guys relax.”, JJ said.

“Thanks.”, he said, picking up the case file with his available arm and went over it some more.

Emily slept all the way through the flight until they were about to land, when Hotch woke her up. He rubbed her back and kissed her head, squeezing her a bit.

“Hey, Em. Wake up, sweetie.”, he whispered in her ear.

“Hmmm?”, she groaned, squeezing him tight.

“We’re landing in a few minutes.”, he said.

“Mmm really?”, she asked, starting to open her eyes.

“Yeah. You slept for quite a bit.”, he said.

“Did  _ you? _ ”, she asked.

“No, but I’ll sleep well tonight.”, he said.

“We’re going to bed right when we get back to the hotel tonight. You need sleep.”, she said.

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”, he said.

She sat up and yawned. “I love how I can fall asleep on your shoulder and not freak out about someone seeing it.”, she said.

“I know. At work we need to keep it completely professional. No PDA while we’re working but I’d say there’s no reason why you can’t rest your head on my shoulder or hug me while we are on the jet, around less people, relaxing.”, he said.

“Can I hold your hand too? I already did it earlier.”, she said, grabbing his hand.

“Yeah.”, he chuckled. “You can hold my hand.”, he said, stroking hers.

They buckled their seatbelts again as the jet landed and got off once they touched ground. Hotch and Emily got in an SUV together and drove to the hotel to drop their bags off and check in. 

“Okay, how are you feeling?”, Emily asked Hotch as they walked from the lobby to the elevator.

“Fine?”, he said.

“Just fine?”, she asked.

“Well, how am I feeling about what exactly?”,

he asked.

“About going back out in the field. Being away on a case. It’s the first time since before...”, she looked down.

“You can say his name.”, he told her, walking into the elevator and pressing the button for their floor.

“Sorry... I just don’t like hearing it all the time.”, she said.

“Neither do I but we can’t avoid it.”, he said, getting off the elevator and walking with her to his room.

“Fine. How do you feel about being out on your first case since you’ve been back... before Foyet.”, she said, stepping inside and setting their bags down.

“I feel good. I’m ready.”, he said.

“You feel good enough to run around and everything?”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said.

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“Honey. I. Feel. Good. I can go out in the field. I’m okay.”, he said, holding her hands.

“I just worry about you.”, she said.

“I’ll be okay. What can I do that’ll make you feel better about it?”, he asked.

“I don’t know... Check in with me before you go chase someone down. And after. Let me know how you’re doing. And  _ if _ you need a break or to slow down with  _ anything- _ “, she said.

“I’ll come to you and check in.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said, looking down.

“Em.”, he said, lifting her chin. “Don’t worry about me, alright?”

“Aren’t you always the one that says “ _ I tell you this over and over. I’ll always worry about you _ .”, whenever  _ I _ tell you not to?”, she raised an eyebrow.

“Fair enough but right now, you don’t need to. I’ll be careful and you’re practically with me everywhere. Unless we split up during the day for part of it but usually it isn’t for long or you  _ do _ pair up with me. You’re by my side almost all day everyday. You can keep an eye on me pretty easily.”, he laughed.

“You just worry me. You get hurt. Like _ a lot. _ ”, she said.

“It’s-“, he started.

“Part of the job. I know. I was the one who told you that first by the way.”, she said.

“Well, it’s true.”, he said.

“It’s still scary whenever something happens to you though. I wish you didn’t have to be in danger constantly.”, she said.

“That’s literally the job. We stop dangerous people. We catch the bad guys. Sometimes that means taking a hit.”, he said.

“It just makes me nervous constantly. That’s probably the hardest part about our relationship. I still get scared every time you draw your gun and chase after someone.”, she said.

“Em... whenever we have a baby... do you think you’re gonna want to go back to work at the BAU after? Go back to doing all this, as you put it,  _ dangerous stuff? _ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know... I mean, I  _ do _ want to go back to the BAU but I also want to be safer if we’re gonna have a child. Well, in addition to Jack. A lot of people do it though... I’m not sure. Why? What about you? I know you said before, during the pregnancy, when we were talking about our options, that you were willing to quit your job... Would that still be the case later?”, she asked.

“I’d be willing to do anything for our kid. I would quit my job if that’s what was best for them. I want you to be able to go back to work and further your career because I know that’s what  _ you _ want too and you deserve it. It  _ would _ make me nervous though...”, he said.

“Why are we talking about this right now?”, she asked.

“JJ and I were just talking about it and it got me thinking. I’m sorry. I know you’re not ready but I figured it’s good to talk about these things for a while before so we know.”, he said.

“It’s okay. You’re right. It’s important and I hear you. Of course things can change between now and whenever we go down that road but I  _ do _ see myself going back after.”, she said.

“I want you to have that. You deserve to do that. I didn’t get to be a  _ stay at home dad _ before and... I’d really like to be able to do that for our baby and for Jack.”, he said.

“You’re too sweet.”, she smiled, stroking his cheek. “But I can’t ask that of you. You’re the Unit Chief. You’re the boss. You have more responsibilities. You’re harder to replace.”

“They can hire someone new.”, he said.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, alright?”, she said.

“Alright.”, he nodded.

“Good. Now, let’s go to the station.”, she said, giving him a kiss and smiling as she pulled away.

“Okay. You’re riding with me?”, he asked.

“Yes. If that’s alright. Unless you’re saving that passenger seat for your girlfriend too?”, she said.

“She didn’t show up to the one on the jet so I think I’ll have you tag along with me again instead.”, he laughed.

“I’d like that very much.”, she giggled, walking out of the hotel room to the car and driving to the police station.

  
  



	81. Passion in Portland

**Chapter 81**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

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Back at the station later that week on Friday, still in Portland, Emily and Hotch were going through victimology together in one of the rooms they were set up in. Everybody else was either at a crime scene or the M.E.’s. 

“Hey, do you wanna go get some donuts from that place, _Voodoo Doughnuts_ , that we passed by earlier? It looked pretty good.”, Hotch said.

“Uh huuuuh...”, Emily said, looking at the board they’d created. She was barely paying attention to him and staring intently at it, thinking real hard.

“What? What do you see?”, he asked.

“I’ve seen this guy’s name before.”, she said.

“What guy?”, he asked.

“ _This_ guy.”, she said, walking up to the board and pointing to a picture. 

“That’s the first victim’s brother.”, he said.

“Yeah, I know... but... I swear I saw his name mentioned in another report we went through.”, she said.

“Where?”, he asked.

“Someone else had said something about him in one of their statements, I swear...”, she said, walking back to the table and flipping through files with him.

“Right here.”, he stopped and pointed to a page. “David Becker.”

“Wait. This girl said his friend was the last one seen with our second victim at that party.”, she said.

“What are you thinking?”, he asked her.

“I’m _thinking_ either he or his friend had something to do with these girls’ deaths.”, she said, staring at him.

“Let’s go talk to that witness again.”, he said, grabbing his coat. 

“Just when I thought we were done for the day and could go sleep.”, she said, walking out with him.

They drove to the university and walked up to the girl’s dorm room. They knocked on the door and waited until another girl opened it.

“FBI.”, Hotch said, him and Emily holding up their badges. “Is Lindsay here?”

“Uh, no. She’s at some frat party.”, the girl said, rolling her eyes. “She always comes back really late.”

“Do you know where this party is?”, Emily asked.

“A couple streets up, music will be blaring, front yard will be covered with red solo cups and beer cans.”, the girl said. “What’s this about?”

“There’s been some recent murders among college girls here lately and your roommate was present at the party one of our victim’s was last seen at. We’d just like to speak with her again.”, Hotch said.

“Oh. Well, I can tell her you stopped by if you can’t find her there.”, the roommate said.

“Here’s our card. Just call us or come by the police station if you have any other information or questions.”, Emily said.

“Alright.”, the girl said.

“Thank you. Have a goodnight.”, Hotch said, walking away with Emily.

“Do you know how hard it’s gonna be to find her at a frat party?”, Emily asked, getting into the SUV.

“We don’t really have a choice.”, Hotch said, driving to the frat house.

When they arrived, they stepped out of the car and stood there staring at the house, blasting music, and the front yard littered with cups and beer cans just like the roommate had told them.

Emily led the way and walked in the front, Hotch following right behind her, receiving multiple stares from everybody. Emily especially from a bunch of the frat guys but Hotch put his hand on her back to signal them to back off and to keep her close as they walked around. She pulled a picture of Lindsay out and asked a couple people where she was until one of them pointed them to the backyard. They walked out and found her in a crowd of people with her friends by her side.

“Lindsay Randall?”, Emily said when they approached.

“Maybe.”, she laughed, taking a sip of whatever was in her cup.

“FBI.”, Emily said, holding up her badge.

“I’m 21.”, Lindsay said.

“We know. We’re not here because of that.”, Hotch said.

“Are you FBI _too?_ ”, Lindsay looked him up and down.

“Agent Hotchner, FBI.”, he said, showing her his own badge.

“Oh. Well what do you need, Agent Hotchner?”, Lindsay smirked.

“Would you mind speaking with us for a minute? Out front where it’s not so loud.”, Emily said.

“I don’t know. I don’t really have much to say.”, Lindsay said.

“How about you let us tell you what we need? If you would just-“, he started.

“Fine.”, she said, following them to the front yard. “So?”

“How well do you know David Becker?”, Emily asked.

“Wow. Straight to the point.”, Lindsay said.

“What was your relationship like with him? Were you close? Were you acquaintances? Were you ever involved with him in any way?”, Emily asked.

“Well if you’re asking if we ever dated... that’s a fairly personal question. I don’t just give that information out to just anyone.”, she said, looking over at Hotch and smirking again. 

Emily caught on to what she was doing and pulled Hotch off to the side.

“She’s not gonna talk unless it’s just with you.”, Emily whispered.

“What?”, he asked.

“She’ll open up to you. If it’s _just_ you. Trust me. She’s flirting way too hard but I think you might get some answers. I’ll go talk to her friends.”, she said.

“I am _not_ going to flirt with her.”, he said.

“No, of course not. I’d be really concerned if you did.”, she laughed. “Just... talk to her normally. She’ll open up. Trust me. You may have to push a bit but I have a feeling you’ll get some answers. She’ll let her guard down more and be willing to tell the truth with you.”, she said.

“How do you know this?”, he asked.

“Because it worked with _me_ when you did it. And you weren’t even trying. _And_ I wasn’t a half drunk college girl.”, she laughed.

“Ugh fine.”, he said.

He walked back over to Lindsay and Emily turned to them.

“I’m gonna go talk to some other people. Come find me when you’re done.”, she said.

Hotch nodded and Lindsay waved, leaving the two of them alone.

“So, what are you doing working this late on a Friday night? Nothing better to do than come to a frat party?”, she asked.

“I’m trying to catch someone who’s killing young college girls like you. Save lives. Doesn’t seem like there could be much else that’s better to do on _any_ day. Why are _you_ at a frat party on a Friday night? There’s nothing better for _you_ to do? No homework or anything?”, he asked.

“I chose to come here to have fun. Like you said. It’s a Friday night.”, she said.

“Was it fun last week too when that girl was found dead at that party?”, he asked. She became silent and looked down. “Why don’t you tell me about that. How well did you know David?”

“Fine... I wouldn’t say we’re extremely close. We’ve hung out before with other people. We know each other but I wouldn’t say we’re friends.”, she said.

“You told the detective who took your statement that night that one of his friends was the last person to be seen with Sierra, who by the way is our _second_ victim. This wasn’t just one freak accident, alright? This is serious. So... Is that true?”, he asked.

“Yeah... but... David was by his side the whole night too.”, she said.

“You left that out in the initial report.”, he said.

“I was scared and I don’t know... convinced myself that it didn’t mean anything?”, she said.

“It _does_ mean something. You see, David’s sister was the first victim. And now he seems to be one of the last people to see our second victim alive... It _does_ mean something.”, he said.

“Wait... are you serious?”, she asked.

“Completely. Now what else did you leave out?”, he asked.

“Nothing. I don’t know much else. I promise.”, she said.

“What’s his friend’s name?”, he asked.

“Uh... Paul something. I’m sorry, I don’t know his last name.”, she said.

“Alright. Can you give us a description of what he looks like? His age? Anything?”, he asked.

“He’s white, blonde-ish hair, blue eyes, he’s pretty tall, like over 6 feet I think. And I think he’s 22, maybe 23?”, she said.

“Have you seen him or David here tonight so far or do you know where they are?”, he asked.

“No, I’m sorry.”, she said.

“That’s alright... You were actually a big help... _Thank you_. Here’s my card if you find out anything else or remember something. The smallest detail can make a difference so don’t hesitate to call, or the police station. You can always come in too. I’ll be there most of the time and so will Agent Prentiss. Alright?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she nodded, taking his card.

“Stay safe.”, he said, starting to walk away.

“Agent Hotchner?”, she said, stopping him, making him turn around. “What if I see them again? What do I do?”

“Call us immediately. But don’t try and alarm anyone. Just stay alert and be extra cautious especially at these parties.”, he said.

“Could I be in danger? Are they targeting random girls at these parties?”, she asked, genuinely worried.

“We really don’t know... that’s why you should just be extra careful for now and let us know if anything happens.”, he said.

“Alright... thank you.”, she said.

He smiled and nodded his head, walking back to Emily in the backyard. He led her out, back to the car and got in.

“Well, I got nothing.”, she said.

“You were right. She sure opened up.”, he said, starting the car and heading back to the station.

“Oh yeah? What’d she say?”, she asked.

“David was with his friend the whole night. By his side. I think we’re looking at two unsubs and I think it’s them.”, he said.

“Well what’s the friend’s name?”, she asked.

“Paul. She didn’t know his last name but he’s white, blonde-ish hair, blue eyes, at least 6 foot and 22-23 years old.”, he said.

“I’m gonna call Garcia.”, she said, pulling out her phone.

“Do you wanna stop to grab some food real quick?”, he asked.

“Sure. Maybe just a burger or something.”, she said while the phone rang.

“Penelope Garcia here, at your service.”, Garcia said.

“Hey, Garcia, I need you to track David Becker’s phone for me.”, Emily said.

“I’m on it.”, she said, typing away.

“Garcia, can you also check to see if there’s anyone known to be affiliated with him, named Paul.”, Hotch said.

“Aaalllright... seems as if his phone has lost signal aaaand... no Paul anywhere.”, she said.

“Dammit.”, Emily said.

“Alright. We’ll just have to go over this more later.”, Hotch said. 

“Thanks, Garcia.”, Emily said.

“Wait, wait! How are you guys? You know, both of you. Together. How are you doing?”, Garcia asked.

“We are _working_ right now but we’re fine.”, Hotch said.

“Right, right. Sorry. Alright, I’ll let you go.”, Garcia said.

“Goodnight, Garcia. Keep an eye on David’s phone, alright?”, Emily asked.

“Yes ma’am.”, Garcia said.

“Oh no. She doesn’t like it when people call her _ma’am_.”, Hotch laughed.

“It’s mainly when _you_ do it.”, she nudged him.

“I don’t anymore!”, he said.

“You did.”, she said.

“Yeah, once. And I learned my lesson.”, he said.

“I’m gonna go now. But I’ll talk to you guys later. Please. I get lonely. Don’t forget to call me. Please need me.”, Garcia said.

“We always need you, Garcia.”, Emily laughed.

“Okay, good!”, Garcia said.

“Call you tomorrow.”, Emily said.

“Alright, bye! Have a goodnight sir.”, Garcia said.

“You too, Garcia.”, he said, hanging up for Emily.

“What was that?”, she asked.

“I knew you’d take forever to hang up and we already said _bye_.”, he told her.

“You’re a real ass. You know that? You did that with JJ before too.”, she laughed.

“Em, you were half naked. I needed you. We were done talking to her. There was no reason to stay on the phone.”, he chuckled.

“I was only half naked because you pulled my shorts down.”, she said.

“Still. Your shorts were down and-“, he said.

“Alright, alright. Stop. We aren’t at the hotel yet.”, she laughed.

“ _Oh, are you feeling-_ “, he started, putting his hand on her thigh with a smirk on his face.

“ _Yes_ , now keep both your hands on the wheel.”, she said, taking his hand off her thigh.

“Jeez.”, he said.

“I’ll wanna jump your bones right here, right now and I can’t exactly do that.”, she laughed.

“Let’s do a drive thru. I wanna get back to the hotel and see what you have in mind.”, he said.

“I wanna read a story for Jack first though.”, she said.

“Me too and _then_...”, he said.

“And then, _yes_.”, she said.

“We still have to go back to the station.”, he sighed.

“Think you can hold out till then?”, she asked.

“I have to.”, he frowned, pulling into the drive-thru at a burger place.

“ _Poor baby._ ”, she said, stroking his hair.

“Shut up.”, he laughed, rolling his eyes.

“Make me.”, she said.

“ _Really?_ ”, he said.

“Mhm.”, she said.

“You’re ridiculous.”, he chuckled.

“But you love me anyways.”, she said

“That is true.”, he said, leaning over and holding her face, giving her a kiss. “That is very true.”

“And because you love me so much, can I ask you for something?”, she asked.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“Fries.”, she said, looking at the speaker for the drive-thru to order from.

“Do you want a shake too or a soda?”, he asked.

“Shake, of course.”, she said.

“That’s what I thought.”, he said, pulling up to the speaker, and ordering them each a burger, shakes, and fries to split.

They pulled up to the window to pay when he pulled his card out.

“Wow. What a gentleman. It feels like our first date all over again.”, she laughed.

“You mean in L.A. at that diner?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“That _wasn’t_ a date.”, he told her before he pulled up to the next window and grabbed their food, pulling into a parking spot and turning the car off.

“It definitely was.”, she said, taking her burger from him.

“No. It wasn’t.”, he said.

“You picked me up at my room. You took me out to get food without anyone else. You kissed me. You gave me your jacket. We actually kissed more than once that night. We walked around, holding each other’s hands. We held each other in the rain all romantic before we left. You kissed me again when we got back. And you dropped me off at my room. I’d say that was a date.”, she said.

“I don’t want to think of that as our first date. I wasn’t nice to you at the beginning of it. Besides, we weren’t official then _and_ it was a little diner. It wasn’t super nice or anything. I’d like to think of having taken you somewhere nice or done something nicer at least. Especially once we were finally together. You know, where we both _knew_ we were on a date.”, he said, taking a bite of his food.

“I like to think of that as our first date. It was sweet. It’s a good memory. Bonding over that music, kissing you, you pulling _me_ in for a kiss right after, holding your hand, talking about... well, everything in our lives. Not to mention when it started raining and you put your jacket on me and kissed my neck and put your arm around as we walked back to the car, letting yourself get drenched just so I could be more comfortable. You holding me before we got in the car and you grabbing me when we got back to the hotel and kissed me out of nowhere. When you smiled at me and I moved that bit of hair out of your face that flopped over from the rain... that was when I saw just how sweet and cute you are for the first time. When I could see the sweet sensitive side of you.”, she said.

“What about me being rude at the beginning though? I don’t like that part.”, he said.

“I don’t think that was as important to remember and you weren’t being rude. You were being polite when you tried to tell me nothing could ever happen again which is the right thing to have said. But I knew you. I knew you weren’t happy... I took advantage of that...”, she said, just then realizing that and looking down.

“Em, no.”, he said, lifting her chin. “You did not take advantage of anything with me. I _chose_ to kiss you. And I’m glad I did. Because look at where we are now. You and Jack are my whole world. Ever since you came back into my life, I can’t imagine you not being in it. I love you so much, hun.”, he said, staring in her eyes.

“Really?”, she asked quietly, almost teary eyed.

“ _Yes. Really_ ... Honey, you didn’t take advantage of anything. _You made me fall in love with you._ ”, he said, stroking her cheek.

She smiled and took his hand off her face, holding it in hers and squeezing it tight. “I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too... and if anything... I feel like I took advantage of _you_. I’m your boss. I was aware then that I should’ve known better but I was just so crazy about you. I was so drawn to you. I couldn’t help it, especially when you would tell me how you felt about me. Knowing it was mutual made it so hard to stay away from you. It seemed like it was impossible to and impossible you would ever be mine. Impossible that I would have you. I still can’t believe I do. I never thought it would actually happen. And it might’ve not if you hadn’t kept pursuing me. So it worked out and you shouldn’t regret or take back anything, okay?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she nodded and smiled as he leaned in and brought his lips to hers.

“Good. Because I don’t regret anything we ever did.”, he said.

“I feel guilty about a lot of it but knowing that it all turned out to be okay... I don’t regret any of it... _but_ you _have_ broken a lot of rules since we’ve been together in any way.”, she laughed.

“Yeah, but you’re worth it.”, he said.

“You know, our first time, I backed you up into your hotel room... I thought you might’ve stopped it but you didn’t. And I knew at that point, there was no going back. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you _did_ stop me. Which _by the way,_ that was against _so many_ rules too.”, she laughed.

“ _You_ pushed me back into my room, _you_ took my shirt off first, _you_ got on top first, _you-_ “, he said.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. But that night was _amazing_ . Having you hold me afterwards like that and falling asleep in your arms... it was _perfect_.”, she said.

“The only thing that wasn’t, was the next morning when you had to leave. But waking up with you still in my arms made me realize I wish I could do that every morning.”, he said.

“Well, you get to _now_.”, she said.

“And I’ll make sure you never have to leave again. Because I _do_ have you now and you _are_ mine now and I never want to go back to the way things were before. I’m never letting you go again.”, he said.

“You better not.”, she laughed.

“I promise.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she smiled.

“Good. Now let’s finish eating so we can get back.”, he said.

After they were done eating, they drove back to the station and grabbed their bags after adding a few things onto the board, and heading out.

Once they arrived back at the hotel, they went to his room and set their things down.

“What are you doing?”, Hotch asked.

“Changing into my pajamas.”, Emily said.

“Aren’t we gonna...”, he started to ask, shy.

“Yes, but I wanna change because I wanna take a video for Jack. I wanna be comfortable, not in my work clothes.”, she said, walking over to him and put her hands on his chest. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget.”, she told him, giving him a kiss and walking over to her bag, starting to change while he did the same.

“So what’d I tell you about Lindsay?”, she said.

“You were right. But... I think she’s genuinely scared. She said that’s why she left those parts out in the initial statement she gave. I felt like she was holding something else back or maybe she just knew about David and Paul and doesn’t want to admit that they might actually be behind all of this.”, he said.

“What did you tell her?”, she asked.

“Well, I gave her my card obviously but I told her to just stay alert, be cautious but the way she was holding something back... it seemed like she was expecting something to happen like she knows about something that’s gonna happen... I can’t explain it.”, he said.

“Do you think she might have something to do with any of it?”, she asked.

“Mmm I don’t think so. She seemed genuinely scared and really nervous... I think she knows them a little better than she said she does but fears they might do something to her if they found out about her saying anything maybe?”, he said.

“Well, if she calls, she calls. There’s not much else we can do for now.”, she said, grabbing _Goodnight Moon_ from her bag.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know...”, he said.

“Honey, can you bring my phone over here?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he said, picking it up and walking over to her, sitting on the bed.

He sat down next to her and placed the phone facing them and started the video.

“Did it start?”, Emily asked, looking at it.

“Yeah, it’s going.”, he laughed.

“Oh! Okay, hey guys!”, Emily said as she and Hotch both waved at the camera.

“Hey, buddy.”, Hotch said.

“We miss you both a lot and hope you’re doing alright. I wish I could hear all about how your new school is, Jack and your new job, Haley. And all the new friends you’ve made. I know we can’t talk about all of that but I know we used to read you a bedtime story every night we were gone and now we can’t over the phone anymore but hopefully you can have this video to watch and know we’re thinking of you and wish you were here. Well we aren’t at home right now but I brought one of your favorite books with us.”, Emily said.

“Apparently it’s _Goodnight Moon._ It was Emily’s pick. I thought he just liked all of the Dr. Suess books.”, he said.

“He does but this is one of his favorites too.”, Emily turned to him.

“Okay so I was right.”, he said and she rolled her eyes.

“ _Anyways_. Do you wanna read the first page?”, she asked.

“Sure.”, he said, holding half the book. 

The book was short but Jack always asked them to read it “ _one more time_ ”, even though it would turn into three. They knew he could just replay the video whenever he got it so they only read through it once. 

Emily started to read the last few parts but Hotch helped her out when he noticed her starting to get teary eyed.

“... _And goodnight to the old lady whispering ‘hush’_.”, Emily said.

“ _Goodnight stars. Goodnight air_.”, Hotch said.

“ _Goodnight noises everywhere_.”, she said.

“ _The End._ ”, he said, closing the book.

Emily held back her tears and smiled, picking up the phone and holding it closer to them.

“That’s always been one of my favorites too.”, she said.

“Oh, I almost forgot! We have some birthday presents for you, buddy. We’re really sorry we can’t be there for it but you’ll be home soon and we’ll celebrate it then, okay?”, he said.

“But let’s sing _happy birthday_ now.”, she said. 

They nodded at each other and started singing _happy birthday_ , adding on the silly parts at the end that Jack always loved. 

“I can’t believe you’re 4. You’re growing up so fast, you might even be as tall as your daddy soon.”, she said.

“No, no. He’s not allowed to grow up anymore.”, Hotch pouted. “It’s going by too fast.”, he said, looking at the camera.

“Don’t listen to him, Jack. And Haley, Tom called us to ask how you’re doing and he sends his love.”, she said.

“Along with us. And we expect a video from your birthday party and maybe one of you riding your brand new bike I know you got. Oh, I don’t know how long a video can be on the phone so we’re gonna go but we love you guys.”, he said.

“We love you and we miss you! We’ll see you soon!”, she said.

Both of them blew kisses and waved _goodbye_ before ending the video. She set her phone and the book down on the night table and sighed.

“Come here.”, he said, opening his legs and pulling her into him, sitting in between them and leaning back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head as she threw it back onto his shoulder.

“I feel like I’m lying every time I say that we’ll see them soon.”, she said.

“We might.”, he said.

“But we don’t know.”, she said.

“No... I guess not.”, he said.

“I _miss_ them. Not only Jack but... other than you and JJ, Haley’s my best friend. Now I feel like I barely have anyone. I finally had friends... Now I don’t...”, she said.

“Like you just said, you have me and JJ.”, he said.

“I need someone to complain to about you. Someone who knows you well. Better than JJ does.”, she said.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”, he said.

“I’m kidding.”, she giggled, stroking his hand. “Kind of...”

“ _What?!_ ”, he said.

“I’m _kidding!_ ”, she laughed some more.

“Uh huh. _Sure_.”, he said.

“I usually _do_ complain to JJ about you.”, she said.

“ _Em_.”, he said.

“Honey, don’t be so sensitive.”, she said.

“I don’t complain about you to anyone. Well... maybe I do a bit but only _to_ you.”, he said.

“I _know_. But not very often.”, she said.

“That’s because there’s almost never anything to complain about. You’re perfect.”, he said, starting to kiss her neck.

“ _Psssh. Noo. Kiss ass_.”, she said.

“ _Maybe_. But it’s true. You are quite perfect and you are all mine.”, he said, against her neck, in between kisses.

“You’re right about _one_ thing.”, she said.

“And what’s that?”, he asked, pulling her hair to the side, allowing him more access to her neck.

“That I’m yours.”, she said.

“Damn right you are.”, he said.

“And _you’re_ all _mine_.”, she said, stroking his hands.

“Only yours, hun.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“Can I ask you for something?”, she said.

“More fries?”, he chuckled.

“No. I don’t need any more of those. If I had them as often as I’d like... boy... you would not want to see what I’d look like.”, she laughed.

“Em, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. You’re beautiful no matter what. Your body isn’t everything but I do love your body no matter what could ever happen to it. Nothing could ever change that. Just like how you say my scars don’t bother you. Although, if you ever got a boob job or anything like that, I can’t say I’d be very happy.”, he said.

“ _Really?_ I thought guys go crazy about that stuff.”, she said.

“Not _me_ . Because I love your body, natural and it’s perfect. You’re honestly _so perfect_. Every part of you is, inside and out.”, he said.

“Alright, don’t overdue it.”, she said.

“What? I can’t tell my girlfriend how beautiful she is?”, he said.

“Mmm I guess you can.”, she said.

“Good.”, he smiled, giving her a kiss when she leaned her head back more to look up at him. “Now what did you want to ask me for?”

“A back rub?”, she said.

“I can definitely do that. Lean forward.”, he said.

She did as he told her and he started rubbing her back. Breathing on her neck, he sent chills down her spine and brought his lips to the side of it and down to her shoulder right above where his hands were.

“Mmmmm.”, she hummed.

“Feel good?”, he asked.

“Mmhmmmm.”, she smiled. 

He slid his hands down her back and brought them back up under her shirt slowly. After a minute of rubbing her back up and down, he started lifting her shirt up. She helped him pull it off as he got higher up and continued to kiss her neck and shoulder after. 

She waited not too long before she turned around and reached for him, bringing her lips to his. He held her sides until she pulled away to lift _his_ shirt off and brought his face back to hers, slowly leaning onto her back and taking him with her by holding the back of his neck and side of his face.

He hovered over her and ran his hand down her side until he reached the waistband of her shorts. He pulled them down and she kicked them off. As he was coming back up, he stopped and held her legs, bringing his lips to her inner thigh, placing gentle kisses all over and all the way up, switching to the other one while she ran her fingers through his hair. Reaching her hip, he kissed his way to the flat surface of her stomach, trailing along the middle until he reached her breasts, taking one in his mouth.

Emily threw her head back slightly as her eyes fluttered closed. Both of them moaning, still with her hands in his hair and his roaming her body. After a minute, he brought his head back up and kissed her. He brought his hands underneath her to her ass and she put her hand on his chest, gently pulling her lips off his. 

“Wait.”, she said

He took his hands off her and held himself up a bit more with them on the bed, not touching her.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, worried.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to worry you. I was just gonna say I’m kind of cold. Could we be at the head of the bed and under the sheets?”, she asked.

“Oh, okay. Yes, of course.”, he smiled, helping her sit up and getting under the covers.

Once he rolled over to kiss her, she stopped him again.

“Could you turn the lamp off? It’s nicer when it’s dark.”, she smiled.

He paused at first and silently took a deep breath. “Sure.”, he said, partially through his teeth, starting to get a bit impatient but doing his best to contain it. 

He reached to the lamp on the night table and switched it off, making it darker in the room but still visible. He leaned in and right as his lips were about to reach hers, she stopped him again. 

“One more thing.”, she said.

“Mmhmm.”, he said, a bit frustrated.

“Take your pants off.”, she smirked as she took her underwear off from underneath the covers and threw them off the bed. He watched her do it and immediately pulled his pants down along with his boxers and tossed them off the bed, making her laugh when he rolled on top of her.

“I’m sorry if I worried you or annoyed with that.”, she said.

“You were cold, hun.”, he said, stroking her arm, feeling her goosebumps going away. “And besides, your final request was for me to take my pants off. I’m okay with that.”, he laughed while she brought him down for a kiss. “Besides, I want you to be comfortable all the time. And I like it with the lights off more too. It’s nicer.”, he said, leaning down, into her lips. 

As they kept going, he stroked her hair and broke apart from her lips and stared at her.

“What?”, she asked. His eyes moved all around her face while he didn’t answer. “Aaron, what?”

“I’m just taking in how beautiful you are.”, he said.

“Oh.”, she blushed.

“I just get lost in it.”, he said.

“I _know_. You get this dreamy look in your eyes.”, she said, touching his face.

“You’re just so beautiful, every natural part of you. This is what I meant. I would hate it if you got any plastic surgery or anything to change _any_ part of you. Because I love your body the way it is and don’t even think about doing anything to your face either. Ever. No Botox...”, he said, kissing her cheeks and across her forehead. “No nose job. I love your nose. It’s cute. No matter what you say about it.”, he said, kissing this the tip of it. “No lip fillers...”, he whispered, bringing his to hers. “They are perfect.”, he told her, kissing them again. “No nothing. Okay?”

“Wasn’t planning on it anyways but I’m glad to know how you feel about that.”, she said.

“Well, I’d love you no matter what but I would be upset if you wanted to change anything about yourself in any way of any kind. I don’t know if I let you know that enough.”, he said.

“You let me know how beautiful I am enough and I know how much you love every part of me. Don’t worry.”, she said.

“You. Are. Gorgeous. And I’m lucky to call you mine especially to other people. Especially to people we don’t know. I just gotta know I make a bunch of other guys jealous.”, he chuckled.

“Apparently, I make lots of girls jealous too. Like Lindsay tonight.”, she laughed. 

“Yeah that made me a bit uncomfortable actually. Now I know how girls feel when guys always check you out and-“, he tried.

“That’s funny. That’s _real_ funny. But no, babe. You don’t get it. It’s still very different. She was barely flirting with you. But with _me_ and pretty much _every girl._.. guys don’t just flirt with us. We’re like... exploited. A lot of them aren’t very nice too. Like that one from the bar a long time ago. When you and I went out for drinks. When we were trying the ‘friend’ thing...”, she said.

“I should have arrested him.”, he said through his teeth.

“Yeah, well... unfortunately this stuff happens a lot.”, she said.

“Em, I wanted to kick the shit out of him. He grabbed you. He tried to push you in the bathroom and-“, he said.

“I know.”, she interrupted him. “But I was about to do that myself. I haven’t ever had to _kick the shit out of someone_ , as you put it, but I was about to. But then you came over. Actually, you _ran_ over.”, she said.

“Well, yeah. I was looking all around for you after you were gone for a few and I finally saw him and I lost it. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”, he frowned, stroking her face. “I know we weren’t together then and we were supposed to just be friends but once he ran out, I touched your shoulder and held your face and I didn’t even think about that with us being only friends then because my feelings just overpowered all of that.”, he said.

“We were really bad at just being friends then.”, she said.

“You think? We made out in my car right after and almost had sex when we got back to your place.”, he laughed.

“The _heat_ in that moment...”, she raised her eyebrows.

“There _was_ a lot of passion.”, he said.

“I recall you carrying me all the way upstairs and throwing us on the bed.”, she smirked, wrapping her arms around over his shoulders.

“Mmhmmmm.”, he kissed her.

“Too bad we couldn’t finish that night.”, she said.

“No. I think it was good we didn’t because our first time was great. More than great. It was... I have no words. Nothing can top it. There was more passion _that_ night than any other time we’ve ever had sex.”, he said with a silence following it until Emily spoke.

“Are you saying we aren’t as _passionate_ anymore? You don’t feel as _passionate_ about me anymore? Our feelings aren’t as _strong_ as before?”, she asked, looking a little hurt.

“No, sweetie, of course not! That’s not what I meant...”, he said before realizing she might be joking. He then waited for her to start laughing like she usually did when she messing with him and making him worry. But this time she wasn’t laughing and looked a bit more serious. “You aren’t messing with me, are you?”

“No... no, I’m not _messing_ with you.”, she said, sitting up with him getting off of her. “I’m actually asking you.”, she said, with her back up on the pillow against the headboard. 

“Oh...”, he said, sitting next to and facing her.

“Well...?”, she said.

“Wha- I... Listen...”, he said, taking her hand, “ _I love you so much_ . I have never stopped loving you or have loved you any less. In fact, I love you more and more everyday. I don’t think there’s any _less_ passion between us necessarily. But-“, he started.

“ _But?_ ”, she said.

“Honey, please just let me finish. I promise you can get everything out.”, he said.

“Sorry.”, she said, stroking his hand.

“It’s okay. When I say I don’t think there’s any _less_ passion, I mean it. I don’t think we have _less_ passion, I think it’s _different_ now. In a good way. In a _really, really_ , good way.”, he said.

“But you _said_ that there was _more_ passion that night than _any_ other time we’ve had sex.”, she said.

“Okay, I worded that wrong. I think that, _yes_ , we had a lot of passion then. But a lot of that was because we weren’t together then. And we couldn’t be. And frustration was built up in that. But so was love and that’s why our first time was so amazing. But _now_ , it’s different. And I wouldn’t change what we have now for anything else. I wouldn’t want to go back to then for any reason. I wouldn’t want to still be feeling that way. Because a lot of it was hurt. True pain. And whenever I kiss you now, I don’t have to feel guilty for it. Every time we make love, I don’t have to dread you leaving me in the morning or worry about you being seen walking out of my room or lie to anybody about it. Now when I kiss you, I can do it no problem, no guilt. Nothing. Nothing but love. Every time my lips touch any part of you at all, I get a warm feeling in my chest. Whether we’re alone or out in public or in front of our friends now that they know. Because the passion is still there. No matter what. And _when we have sex_ , no matter how we are doing it or for how long or where or what emotional state we’re in, I feel nothing but love for you the entire time. So to answer your questions... I think we are _more_ passionate than before. I feel _more_ passionate about you now and it increases everyday. Along with my feelings for you because, Em, _honey_ , I can honestly say with no hesitation that you make everything in my life better. You made it better just by coming back into it and you make it better by being not just my girlfriend but my _best friend_ . I’m just so lucky to be able to call you even _one_ of them. You make me keep going everyday because you are there every step of the way during all of these incredibly hard times and you motivate me everyday to do better. I honestly don’t know how you’ve been able to stick by my side through so much but I understand because I do it for you and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I feel completely comfortable... being myself, feeling the way I feel, saying anything, doing anything, whatever. I feel completely comfortable with everything with you. And I never get bored of you. Because there’s still new things everyday with us. And there will be for the rest of our lives. And that’s the exciting part. That’s why there’s still passion. Because my love for you has never faded. It’s only gotten stronger everyday. And I can’t see that ever stop happening. So... yes. Our first night was amazing. Yes. There was more passion of that type than we’ve had. But that doesn’t mean it was more passionate in general, out of all the times we’ve been together. I don’t know if that makes sense... I hope it does and I know I went on but... my point is... is that I love you with my whole heart and so does the other person who shares that with you. My son loves you so much. And that means the world to me, especially how much you love him right back. That brings me so much joy. That makes me feel like the luckiest guy ever... And also because you’ve let me say all these cheesy things right now you always hate and make fun of me for saying but it’s true.”, he smiled softly, and even though it was dark, he could see the goosebumps on her arms. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing them, warming her up. 

She held onto them and smiled, leaning in. “You’re not proposing right now, are you? Because that was a long speech and almost sounded like a proposal.”, she laughed.

“No, sweetie. Not yet.”, he chuckled. “I’ll have something better for that.”

“Well, it must be really good then because that was pretty up there.”, she sniffled.

“Are you crying, hun?”, he asked.

“You’re really good at doing that to me.”, she said.

“What- honey, I’m sorry! It was all good things I was trying to say!”, he said, squeezing her tight and kissing her head. “What was it that was so bad? Did I offend you or-“, he said.

“ _Honey_ , they aren’t bad tears. Everything you said was very emotional. In a good way. It _moved_ me.”, she said.

“Oh. Okay. Good. Wow.”, he said.

“I would reply to all that but I don’t even know how to.”, she said.

“You don’t need to. I already know how you feel. And I love you too.”, he said.

“You knew that’s what I would end with, didn’t you?”, she giggled.

“Yes. And I know what else would go with it.”, he said.

She looked up at him and smiled. “What else?”, she asked.

He leaned his head down and kissed her. “That.”, he smiled.

“You _do_ know me well.”, she laughed.

“Probably better than anyone else. I would hope.”, he said.

“I think you’re probably right.”, she said, waiting for him to kiss her again. Once he did, she brought her head back down. 

“Can we just go to bed? I’m exhausted now.”, he said.

“Yeah that’s fine but could you do me _one more_ favor for the night?”, she asked

“Anything.”, he said.

“Will you grab my clothes we tossed? I’m still kind of chilly.”, she said.

He kissed her forehead and slipped out of bed and found his boxers, putting them on first before gathering their clothes and handing them back to her. 

“Here. Take my sweats.”, he said, handing them to her while she put her shirt and underwear back on.

“But you’ll be cold.”, she said.

“I’m actually a little warm.”, he said, walking to his go-bag.

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“No, not even because of you anymore.”, he chuckled. “I’m not even feeling that. I just don’t get cold easily. You know that.”, he said.

“I guess. Makes sense for why you always give me your jacket when we’re out.”, she said.

“Honey, you get cold really easily. Which is _why_ I packed this. Just in case...”, he said, walking back to the bed and handing her the sweatshirt he grabbed while climbing in next to her.

“You really knew I’d get cold?”, she laughed.

“Yes, now put everything on.”, he said.

She slipped on the pants and pulled over the sweatshirt before she brought the pillows down, getting under the sheets more. “I don’t know why I do.”, she said.

“ _I_ do.”, he said, slipping under the covers and pulling her into his arms.

“Why’s that?”, she asked, hugging him and resting her head on his bare chest.

“Because you’re so skinny. You need a little meat on those bones.”, he said shaking her lightly.

She giggled and rubbed up against him into his arms more. “But I love cuddling with you and you warming me up. Besides, you’re right. Your body is really warm right now.”, she said. 

“I told you.”, he said.

She rubbed his chest and squeezed him tight, and looked at his neck and shoulder. “Aaron...”, she said.

“Yeah, hun.”, he said.

“How come the scars from Foyet bothered you with being shirtless around me or me touching you there but the ones from when you got shot didn’t?”, she asked, running her hand over the scar on his shoulder and up, kissing the one on his neck.

“I don’t know...”, he said.

“It’s just that, those were visible and I kissed your neck a lot during then and touched you here and it didn’t seem to be an issue.”, she said 

“I don’t know. Maybe it didn’t feel as big of a deal as almost getting stabbed to death in my own apartment.”, he said.

“Aaron... don’t say that, even if you’re joking around with it. The day you got shot was one of the scariest days of my life. Other than finding our apartment the way it was with your blood on the floor and a bullet hole in the wall and you weren’t there. But that day in the _warehouse_ ... Honey, I thought I was going to lose you the day after you told me you loved me for the first time. You were shot _right in front of me_ , while the man who did it was holding me _when_ he did it. It wasn’t just scary because _someone_ was shot while the unsub was holding me, which was bad enough. But it was _you. You_ were shot. Do you remember that?”, she asked.

“Bits and pieces.”, he said.

“I kept telling you to look at me. I kissed your cheek. I pressed my hand against the wound. There was blood everywhere. I couldn’t stop crying. I was hysterical. You told me you loved me and I was not having it because it was almost like you were gonna say _goodbye_ . And the only funny part was that you asked me if _I_ was okay because I had that cut on my forehead, courtesy of the unsub hitting me with my own gun.”, she said.

“Aww. _Babe_.”, he pouted, kissing her forehead. “That was scary for me too. Seeing you like that.”, he said.

“Aaron, you were bleeding out in my hands. All over my hands actually. And then you flatlined in the ambulance. _That_ was scary.”, she said.

“Honey, any time you are hurt, my _heart_ hurts. It’s always scary for me.”, he said.

“Aaron! You get hurt _way_ too much! You’re not allowed to do that again. I can’t almost lose you again.”, she said. 

“Sweetie, that’s part of the job.”, he said.

“Don’t you say that to me. We shouldn’t get to use that anymore. It doesn’t give you an excuse to constantly be in danger. I need you alive. I kind of like having you around.”, she said squeezing him tight. “Especially Jack. Jack needs you and our baby will too.”

“Em, you know...”, he sighed.

“What?”, she asked.

“I was talking with JJ earlier...”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said.

“Well... I was talking with her about us... having a kid... and I told her when we have a baby, I’m leaving the BAU.”, he said.

“ _What?!_ I thought you just wanted to do that at the time of the last pregnancy. You’re actually considering doing this for when we really _do_ have a baby and get a house and build this big life and family? You think you can just quit?”, she asked.

“Emily, our child and Jack will need someone at home all the time. I don’t need to give you this whole speech again, do I?”, he asked.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Emily. I want to be there.”, he said.

“I can’t just ask you to give up your whole career.”, she said.

“Oh, well then. That’s fine. Because you aren’t asking. I’m just doing it.”, he said.

“Honey...”, she said.

“We’ll talk about it more when that day comes. Okay? But my mind isn’t changing. I _will be_ a stay at home dad. Period.”, he said.

“But-“, she tried.

“But nothing. It’ll be great. I was fine doing it then. I’d be fine doing it now. I’ll be fine doing it whenever it happens. Well, more than just fine. I’ll be ecstatic. Also for you being pregnant. And I already know what the mood swings are gonna be like and the morning sickness that is not just in the morning. And everything that goes along with it. Also you’ll have that pregnancy glow later on. _And_ you’ll get lots of back rubs and foot rubs and have me cater to your every need.”, he chuckled.

“Why would you do all that?”, she laughed.

“Because you’ll be bringing our child into this world. The woman has to be the one to do all the hard work along the way physically and the day it comes into the world and that’s apparently worse than guys getting kicked in the-“, he said.

“Yeah, I bet it _is_.”, she said.

“My point is... I will be there for you the whole time, whatever you need and I can’t wait. I will be there for our kid and Jack the whole time and I can’t wait. And I will be there _with_ you and _for_ you the whole time. I feel like I need to reiterate that part. During the pregnancy _and_ after of course.”, he said.

“I think I got the last decent man out there.”, she said.

“ _Just_ decent?”, he said.

“Babe, you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known. I snatched up the _last_ one.”, she said, kissing him.

“Yeah, I thought so.”, he smiled, kissing her again.

“Mmmm. If I wasn’t so tired and cold...”, she said.

“I’m not cold. But I _am_ tired.”, he said.

“Tomorrow night.”, she said.

“Yes.”, he kissed her and after a minute, adding more tongue. 

She began rubbing his chest up to his hair, where she ran her fingers through it. She broke apart for air.

“Suddenly I’m a little bit more awake.”, she said. She ran her hand along him over his boxers and looked up at him, biting his lip. “I’m not the only one.”, she smirked.

“I can think of another way to keep you warm without all those layers on.”, he said.

“Oh, you can, can you?”, she asked.

“Yes. But keep your sweater on actually. I don’t want you getting too cold.”, he said.

She nodded as she leaned in and brought their lips together. She ran her hand down his chest and abs until she reached his boxers and slid her hand under, grabbing him. She rubbed him until he pulled them down, allowing her to fully stroke him. He moved his hands to her ass, sliding them down to it, under her pants, and taking them off, along with her underwear. She kicked them off and continued to stroke him. He ran his hand from her ass along her leg till he reached under her knee and pulled it over his waist.

“You shaved, didn’t you?”, he said.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

“You know I don’t care about that but they’re so soft and smooth right now.”, he giggled, kissing her neck and rubbing her leg.

“I know.”, she giggled along with him.

He stopped her hand for a moment and brought his to her face, looking deep in her eyes.

“I have another thing to add to my list.”, he said.

“Of reasons why you love me?”, she asked.

“Mhm. You feel comfortable being yourself with me. And you taught me to do the same.”, he said.

“Well, there’s nothing you _should_ hide about yourself. I don’t just accept every part of you, I _love_ every part of you. Even your flaws because they help shape you into the amazing man you are. We’re all flawed and no one is perfect or rather, flawless but you’re perfect to me and perfect _for_ me.”, she smiled.

“Emily...”, he said, stroking her cheek.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“You’re the love of my life.”, he said.

“Are you trying to make me cry again?”, she laughed.

“No, I’m sorry, sweetie. I just want you to know that.”, he said, kissing her nose.

“You are too. And... I’ve never felt I can be myself completely, with anybody else. Ever. You bring it out in me.”, she smiled and scooted closer, into his arms more, wrapping her arms around his neck, tight. 

He did the same around her back and squeezed her. “Okay. Can I add one more thing?”, he asked.

“Hmm?”, she asked.

“You give the best hugs.”, he said.

“You’re so cuddly. It’s hard not to.”, she said, holding him tighter.

“You’re so cute.”, he said, kissing her shoulder and resting his chin on it. He stroked her hair and turned his face into her neck.

With that, she began kissing his neck and rubbing the back of his head. He brought his hand down to his length and began stroking it again. He closed his eyes and moaned, moving his other hand to her where she was already wet.

As he slipped a finger inside her, she breathed hot on his neck. Once he added another, she whispered in his ear.

“I just want you inside me now. Is that okay?”, she asked.

“More than.”, he said, pulling his fingers out and running them along her folds, wetting them and running them along his _length_ before easily sliding in. He held onto her thigh that was thrown over his waist as she guided his other hand up, underneath her sweatshirt. 

He grabbed her breast firm and started moving his hips, pulling her in more until their bodies were pressed against each other’s. Closing their eyes, their lips met as she moved her hips against his. The moment was nice and slow. 

He brought his hand from her leg up into her hair and wrapped his fingers around in it. Breaking from her lips he began kissing her softly around to behind her ear and down her neck. 

“You’re right.”, she said.

“Hmm?”, he asked.

“The passion. It’s still here.”, she said.

“Mmm.”, he smiled against her neck.

“Ohhh.”, she moaned, rolling her hips.

He kissed his way back up to her lips and grabbed her ass with both hands. He pulled her close, back and forth, grunting. 

“Em, there’s never been more passion with anyone or anything else than there is with you.”, he said.

“I love you.”, she said.

“I fucking love you so much, hun.”, he said, holding her face. Right as their lips were about to touch and their foreheads and noses pressed to each other, he hit a sweet spot for both of them. Their mouths opened and they could feel each other’s hot breath on one another. He sped up the tiniest bit but wanting to keep it passionate. 

“Fuck.”, he breathed.

“Babe, you’re gonna make me come.”, she said, quietly, rubbing his chest.

“Yeah?”, he asked.

“Oooo yesss.”, she moaned.

“Shit.”, he said, squeezing her ass.

“Yes, oh god. Babe, you’re so big.”, she whimpered, moving with his hips.

“Jesus, Em. You’re so _tight_.”, he groaned.

“ _Please_ , Aaron.”, she said.

He held her face and pressed his lips to hers, inhaling deep. His hand on her ass moved to her clit and started rubbing around in circles, making her hold him tighter against her body with her leg that was thrown over him.

“I’ve got you, sweetie.”, he said before she went in for another kiss, whimpering against his lips as she was approaching her peak.

“Mmmm ahh I’m gonna come, babe.”, she said, staring in his eyes. 

He rolled his lips in and kept pumping in and out of her slower than usual, trying to savor the moment but rubbing her faster.

“Please.”, he said, calmly.

He rode her higher and higher until she finally let it go.

“Ah fuck. I need you there with me, honey.”, she said, beginning to kiss his neck.

“Ahhh. _Em_.”, he said, stroking her leg. “I’m almost there.”

“I can feel you almost there.”, she whispered.

“Mmmmm. _Fuck_. Ahhhh.”, he sighed as he came. “Ahhh, god.”, he said relaxing and pulling out of her. 

She grabbed his face, pressing their foreheads together, and kissed him, melting into each other, while he kept his hand on her side.

“Are you cold?”, he asked.

“Not right now but probably soon, yeah.”, she said, snuggling in his arms that he gladly wrapped around her.

“Honey, let me grab your pants first.”, he said, releasing her and reaching down for the sweatpants and his boxers, putting them on and handing her the sweats. She pulled them up and returned to his arms.

“Mmmm, I love you.”, she said, smiling against his chest.

“I love you too, hun. That was great.”, he said, kissing the top of her head.

“I don’t think we’ve had a time so far where it hasn’t been.”, she said.

“Well. I can think of one time.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked in a sad tone.

“No, honey, not because of you. New Orleans. That was a nice way for you to wake me up until Reid interrupted us and we had to wait all day to finish.”, he chuckled.

“Oh. Well. That doesn’t count because it was still really good while we were doing it.”, she said.

“That’s true. That’s why I was so pissed he had to go and do that.”, he said.

“Well, no more of that.”, she said.

“Mm-mm.”, he said.

“Hey, does it bother you that we don’t have sex everyday anymore?”, she asked.

“No. Because we have it when we want to. We were in that whole new relationship phase where that’s all you do which is great then but now, we get into the real relationship things. It’s just... more _real_. And I prefer this over not having it but having sex everyday.”, he said.

“I just didn’t know if it bothered you at all. But...”, she started.

“What?”, he asked.

“When we have a baby, a lot is going to get in the way of _a lot_.”, she said.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

“When are we gonna actually have time to have sex after it’s born?”, she asked.

“Oh, we’ll find time. But that won’t be our number one priority or thought for a while and that’s okay.”, he said.

“God, I’m gonna miss that.”, she laughed.

“You’ll be too wrapped up in enjoying having a new little bundle of joy to even think about other stuff for a while.”, he said.

“Yeah. That’s true.”, she smiled.

“We’ve been talking about this a lot more lately... are you considering maybe... or, well, are you feeling more... ready? Or- I’m sorry. I don’t know how to phrase this...”, he said.

“It’s okay. I don’t know... I’ve thought about it more. It’s been on my mind more definitely. I feel like I want to soon but I think about my job and then also Jack and Haley... I want things to be more stable for a while before we decide to go down that road but it has been on my mind more.”, she said, looking up at the grin on his face and he leaned down to kiss her.

“I can’t wait.”, he said, rubbing her back.

“I know. Me neither.”, she said, nuzzling her head on his chest. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve been letting myself be the one to cry most and end up needing comfort from you because of all this with Jack and Haley. But I’m here for you. I just... how are you feeling right now with all of this? I know we both miss them but what are you thinking and feeling? We’re trying to check in with each other more. Remember?”, she asked. After waiting a moment for him to answer but it was silent, she said his name. “Aaron?”, she then scooted up to his level and smiled at him sound asleep already. She stroked his cheek and hair, planting a kiss on his cheek and moving back down to his chest, grabbing the sheets, covering them both completely with them, and falling asleep in his arms.

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**sorry the the late update, i've been busy but i will be posting more from now on a lot of bigger events happening very soon!**

**once again, reviews are always welcome! thanks! :)**


	82. Leaving Portland

**Chapter 82**

  
  
  


***this chapter is a bit shorter than usual because it’s a filler chapter for the most part but the very end sets up for the next chapter which is a big event. so enjoy mainly cute fluff in this.***

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Less than an hour later, Hotch was woken up by his phone ringing. He reached for it on the night table, trying to not move Emily’s head from his chest. It was a number he didn’t recognize but picked it up anyways.

“Hotchner.”, he said.

“Agent Hotchner?”

“Yes... Who-“, he started.

“It’s Lindsay.”, she said, frantic.

“Lindsay, are you alright?”, he asked.

“They’re- they’re here.”, she said.

“Who? Where are you?”, he asked.

“David and Paul. They’re at the party.”, she said.

“Mmm who is it?”, Emily grumbled.

Hotch rubbed her back and lifted her off his chest carefully. “Get dressed.”, he whispered to Emily, getting out of bed.

“What? What’s going on?”, she asked, sitting up.

“Lindsay, calm down. Are you alone?”, he asked, throwing his clothes on while tossing Emily some of hers.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m out front.”, she said.

“Okay. Just stay there. We’re on our way in just a minute.  _ Don’t _ hang up.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said, breathing heavy. 

“Where did they go?”, he asked.

“I- I don’t know.”, she said.

“Alright, just hold on.”, he said to her. “Emily, call JJ and everyone else and finish getting dressed. We’re going to that party again. David and Paul are there.”, he said.

“Oh my god, I see them. They’re inside, talking to my friend.”, she said.

“Do  _ not _ go up to them.”, Hotch said.

“They’re talking to my friend. What if they try to hurt her?”, she asked.

“We’re about to leave.  _ Don’t _ go up to them.”, he said, when Emily handed him his gun.

“They’re taking her hand.”, Lindsay said.

“ _ Lindsay, do you hear me? Do not go up to them _ .”, he said, finally walking out of their room with Emily.

They practically ran down the hall to the elevator and all the way to the SUV. 

“They’re coming outside.”, Lindsay said.

“Can you walk away calmly?”, Hotch asked, speeding and turning the sirens on.

“I- David, hey.”, she said.

“Lindsay?”, Hotch said.

“What are you doing outside? Come on in, it’s cold out.”, David said.

“No, I’m fine. It’s nice out. I just need some fresh air.”, she said.

All of a sudden Hotch heard another voice that he assumed was Paul’s.

“You’re shivering. There’s some coats upstairs.”, he said.

“No, really, that’s alright. I’m fine. Where’s Izzy? She was just with you guys.”, she said.

“She ditched us to go play some beer pong. But maybe you could- what’s this?”, Paul asked.

“Um...”, Lindsay said.

“Who were you on the phone with?”, Paul asked. Hotch could hear his tone become more aggressive.

“Lindsay? Can you hear us?”, Hotch said.

“Agent Hotchner? You talkin’ to a fed?”, he asked.

“Now, why would you be doing that?”, David asked, lightly chuckling.

“I’m not. I just have his card. He came asking around about some stuff but I was too drunk- I don’t even know what he was talking about.”, she laughed.

After she said that, Hotch looked over at Emily when it became silent for too long.

“Lindsay?”, Hotch said.

“Listen, guys, I’m not feeling too good. I’m just gonna go back to my dorm now.”, she said.

All of a sudden Hotch heard the click of a gun being cocked. “ _ Lindsay _ .”, Hotch said and when she didn’t reply to him, he knew her phone must be in her pocket. “If you can hear us, we’re almost there. Stay calm, do what they say.”

“Whoa, what are you guys doing?”, Lindsay said.

“You talkin’ to some feds now? What were they asking about?”, Paul said.

“Paul, put the gun down. You don’t have to do this.”, she said.

“Seems we do though.”, David said.

“Come on. Move!”, Paul said, as Hotch heard them shove her.

“Listen, guys-“, Lindsay started.

“Shut up! What do they know?”, David asked.

“Nothing, I swear, I didn’t tell them anything.”, she said.

Hotch and Emily were pulling up to the frat house when they spotted them by the side of the house near some bushes. They hopped out when the guys saw them and they ran after them. They threw Lindsay in front of them before they ran down the block. Hotch ran up to her to see if she was hurt and she clung to him. 

Right after Emily started chasing David and Paul, everyone else pulled up and Derek ran after them along with Rossi, Spencer, and JJ. Hotch brought Lindsay over to one of the ambulances getting there when she stopped him.

“No, no, no. My friend is in there!”, she said.

“She’ll be fine. We need to get you check out.”, he said.

“No, I think they hurt her! They said she went to play beer pong but she barely drinks and she doesn’t play beer pong especially without one of us in our group. We make sure to stick together.”, she said.

“I’ll go find her. Stay here and let them check you out, okay?”, Hotch said to her before he ran inside. He went upstairs and found her friend in a room on the ground with marks around her neck and cuts on her arm. 

“I need medical in here!”, he said into the wire. “Izzy? Come on, stay with me.”, he said to her after feeling her pulse and beginning CPR.

Soon enough, medical came in and shocked her until her pulse came back and they brought her down to an ambulance. Hotch followed along after checking the rest of upstairs.

As he came back down, he saw her being rolled in to the ambulance and Lindsay about to climb in but hopped down when she saw Hotch. She walked up to him and gave him a hug.

“Thank you.”, she sniffled.

“I’m glad you took the card. We couldn’t have done this without you. You helped save your best friend’s life.”, he said as she pulled away and nodded. She climbed in the ambulance as it drove off and saw David and Paul being put in separate cop cars. 

“Well, we got ‘em. You and Emily make a pretty good team. Seems like you’re always the ones there first.”, JJ laughed, walking up to Hotch.

“Well, we just work well together in many ways. Speaking of which, where is she?”, he asked, starting to step forward.

“Oh, did I mention-“, JJ started, stepping in front of him.

“JJ, why are you trying to distract me?”, he asked.

“I’m not, I’m just-“, she started again before he pushed past her. “Aaron, she’s okay!”, she called after him.

He ran to the other ambulance and saw Emily sitting on the back of it with her sleeve rolled up.

“Emily!”, he said, going up to her.

“Ahh dammit.”, she dropped her head.

“Em, what happened?!”, he asked.

“It’s just a little graze wound, I’m  _ fine _ .”, she said.

“ _ You got shot?! _ ”, he asked.

“I’m _ fine! _ ”, she said, reaching for his hand with her arm that wasn’t being cleaned up and bandaged by the paramedic.

“ _ Em _ .”, he said, putting his arm around her back and hand on her shoulder. He kissed her head and moved his hand from her shoulder back down to her own hand.

“I’m okay.”, she smiled.

“Does it hurt?”, he asked, with a sad look.

“They gave me a little shot of something so not too much.”, she said, rubbing his hand.

“ _ Honey _ .”, he whispered in her ear when he bent it down next to hers.

“Aaron. I’m. O-Kay.”, she said.

“What happened?”, he asked.

“I was chasing them and they fired the gun and it grazed my arm right below my shoulder here but I’m perfectly okay.”, she said, squeezing his hand.

“I guess it could’ve been worse.”, he pouted.

“Come here.”, she said, pulling him down to sit next to her. The paramedic finished up and she turned to face Hotch. She put her hand on his face and smiled. “Don’t be sad.”

“I’ll be however I want.”, he said.

She stared at him with an eyebrow raised and eventually laughed, giving him a kiss and tugging on his tie. 

“Come on. Let’s go get our stuff and head home.”, she said.

He helped her up and put his arm around her back as they walked over to everyone else.

“You alright?”, Derek asked.

“She got shot.”, Hotch said.

“A graze wound. It’s a graze wound. I’m fine.”, she said.

“We’re going back to the hotel now. Is there anything else you guys need or...?”, Hotch said.

“No, we’re all good. We’ll see you on the jet.”, Rossi said.

“Alright. Come on.”, Hotch said, helping Emily to the SUV. 

They drove back to the hotel and when they got into his room, he went to bathroom and when he came out, he found her packing up her things and rushed over to her.

“Em! What the hell are you doing?”, he asked.

“Packing my clothes. Jeez.”, she said.

“Uh uh.”, he said, taking her hand and gently bringing her to the bed, sitting her down. “You, sit here. Relax. Let me do that.”, he said.

“Aaron, I can pack my own bag.”, she said.

“Honey, you can’t. Your arm needs to rest.”, he said, packing her bag.

“Oh my god.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me when I’m trying to take care of you.”, he said.

“I didn’t roll my eyes.”, she said.

“I know you. You rolled your eyes.”, he said.

“Fine. Whatever.”, she said, rolling them again.

“ _ Em _ .”, he said, turning around to face her. “I know when you roll your eyes. I can practically feel it.”

“It’s scary how you do that.”, she said.

“You know what’s scary?”, he asked.

“What?”, she asked.

“You getting shot.”, he said.

“ _ Babe _ . I’m  _ fine _ .”, she said.

“No. Your arm is bleeding.”, he said.

“It isn’t right now.”, she said.

“Well, it was and I’m taking you to a doctor next week.”, he said.

“I can go to a doctor on my own.”, she said.

“You won’t though. Let me take care of you.”, he said, walking over to her.

“I thought you were packing for me.”, she said, grinning as he came closer.

“I am. I just need one kiss.”, he chuckled, bending down and giving her one. 

“Hey, I thought we weren’t gonna have any PDA at work or out in the field.”, she said.

“Yeah, I know but when the case is done and everyone is pretty much gone and you got  _ shot _ ... I’m gonna put my arm around you and give you a kiss.”, he said, kissing her forehead before turning around and finished packing for her. 

“Are we done? Can we go now? And can I take a nap on the jet?”, she asked.

“Sure.”, he said, picking up their bags.

“Can I have your pillow?”, she asked.

“You don’t need it. You always fall asleep on my shoulder.”, he laughed as they walked down to the SUV. 

“Oh yeah.”, she giggled and leaned into him, holding his hand.

Once they got on the jet, Hotch let Emily take the aisle seat so her arm wouldn’t be squished. They sat down and she started shivering. 

“Honey, are you cold?”, he asked.

“Yeah, just a little.”, she said.

“Here.”, he said, pulling out his sweatshirt from his bag. “Sit up. Let me help it over your shoulders.”

“ _ Aaron _ .”, she said through her teeth, looking around.

“ _ What? _ ”, he said.

“It’s embarrassing.”, she whispered.

“ _ What? Why? _ ”, he asked.

“ _ Because _ ... I can put on my own sweater. And... I can take care of myself...”, she said quietly.

“Just come here.”, he said, reaching over with his sweater.

“Aaron.”, she said, through her teeth again and leaning away from him.

“Are you really embarrassed right now?”, he laughed.

“Yeah... a little...”, she said.

“ _ Emily _ . Almost everyone is asleep. Besides, no one cares. Let me just help you get a sweater on. Your arm is injured.”, he said, holding back another laugh.

“Fine.”, she blew out.

He helped the sweater over her arms and pulled it down as she straightened it out and leaned over, on his shoulder.

“Oh, so you’re embarrassed if I try to help you put a sweater on but not embarrassed to nap on my shoulder.”, he said.

“Mhm.”, she nodded.

“Women make no sense.”, he shook his head. She sat up straight again and swatted his arm. “Ah! Hey!”

“Ass.”, she said.

“ _ What?! _ ”, he said.

“ _ Women make no sense? _ ”, she said.

“I’m sorry.”, he said as she rested her head on his shoulder again. “ _ You _ make no sense.” She swatted his shoulder again. “Wha-“

“ _ Really? _ ”, she said.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please forgive me.”, he pouted. She glared at him and stood up. “Em.”

She went to the back to make a cup of tea and he got up to follow her. He came up behind her and kissed her cheek, rubbing her side.

“If you’d excuse me, I’m trying to make a cup of tea, here. I can spill some hot water on you just to make it clear what that is just in case it  _ didn’t make sense _ before.”, she said, reaching for a tea bag.

He looked to everyone else, seeing they were all asleep and started kissing behind her ear, knowing it was one of her most ticklish spots. She started giggling and stopped what she was doing.

“Sounds like you’ve forgiven me.”, he whispered.

“Not quite.”, she said, straightening herself out, releasing herself from his arms.

“Then why are there two cups of tea you just made?”, he asked.

“Because I love you and I know you like your tea before naps on the jet at night.”, she huffed and walked back to her seat with one in her hand.

He shook his head and chuckled, grabbing the other cup and following her. He sat across from her and took a sip of his tea.

“What?”, he asked when she stared at him.

“What are you doing, sitting there? I need my pillow. I need your shoulder.”, she said.

“Wha- I- so you’re not mad at me?”, he asked.

“Just get over here.”, she said.

“Oh my god.”, he rolled his eyes at her and got up, scooting over to the seat next to her.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me.”, she said.

“Just lay your head down.”, he patted his shoulder.

She set her tea down and rested her head on his shoulder, nuzzling it in and he heard her quietly giggle.

“You love me.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you? No matter how much shit I give you?”, she asked. He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Hey. My eyes may be closed but I know when you roll yours too.”

“Yes, Em. I love you and I’d do anything for you no matter how much shit you give me. That is true.”, he said.

“Mmmm.”, she said, grabbing his arm to hold onto and giving his neck a kiss.

“You sure  _ do _ give me a lot of shit.”, he said.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”, she said.

“No, you’re not.”, he said.

“You’re right, I’m not.”, she giggled.

“Go to sleep.”, he chuckled and gave her a kiss on the head and closing his eyes, leaning his head back.

“Give me a kiss first.”, she said.

“You  _ do _ realize that I’m trying to nap too?”, he asked.

“Give me a kiss.”, she said.

“Do you realize how cute you are?”, he said.

“Mm-mm.”, she smiled and scrunched up her nose.

“Like that! That is _ so adorable. _ ”, he said, leaning into her and giving her a kiss.

“Ugh get a room.”, JJ said. They both looked over at her, surprised. “Yeah, you’re not the only ones tryna take a nap here.”

“ _ Jeez _ . Someone’s a little-“, Emily started.

“I  _ know _ .”, Hotch said.

“You know what? I think you should grow out a beard again.”, she said, running her fingers along his jaw.

“Oh, you do?”, he grinned.

“Mmhmmm.”, she leaned in, kissing him again. “You looked very sexy.”, she whispered.

“ _ How _ sexy?”, he whispered right back.

“ _ Very _ .”, she giggled, making him laugh as they kissed again.

“I’m with JJ on that. Get. A. Room.”, Reid said, throwing a pillow at them.

“Hey!”, Emily said.

“Will you guys be quiet? I’m trying to sleep. I don’t need to hear about how sexy you think Hotch will look with a beard.”, Reid said.

Hotch cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. 

“How did you even hear that?”, Emily asked.

“Because he has super hearing and also you’re not the quietest.”, JJ said.

“ _We’re_ _quiet_.”, Emily said.

“You’re not  _ loud _ but you’re not  _ quiet _ either.”, JJ said.

“Well now I feel bad for our neighbors in the building.”, Hotch whispered in her ear, making both of them laugh uncontrollably.

“Thank god our bed doesn’t have loud springs.”, Emily whispered.

“They’d really hate us then.”, he said.

They both started laughing again and JJ shot them a look from a couple seats down.

“Seriously. Shut. Up. You’re happy. You’re in love. We get it. But I’m also tired and I thought you guys were too so can we please... just rest?”, she said.

“ _ Okay _ . We get it.”, Emily said.

“I apologize for us both.”, Hotch said. “How about tonight after my shower... I  _ don’t _ shave? Try and uh... grow out that beard?”, he whispered in Emily’s ear and smirked when he pulled back.

“I like  _ that _ idea.”, she said, bringing her lips to his slowly.

“Oh and by the way... you looked good with the beard.”, JJ said.

“Right... I forgot Emily showed you those...”, he said, glaring at Emily.

“That picture is also still your contact I.D. picture.”, she said.

“I’m shirtless and in bed in that picture.”, he said through his teeth. 

“And?”, she said.

“Change it!”, he whispered.

“Fine!”, she said, pulling out her phone. “How about this one with Jack?”, she asked.

“That one’s cute...”, he smiled softly.

“Okay. Done.”, she said.

“Done talking?”, Reid said. Emily took the pillow and threw it back at him. “Ah! Hey!”

“Who threw it first?!”, Emily said.

“Drink your tea, hun.”, Hotch said, picking up their cups and bringing her back. 

“Thanks.”, she said, taking a sip.

“She’s got one hell of a throw, huh?”, Hotch said to Reid.

“Uh... yeah!”, Reid said.

“That’s my girl.”, Hotch chuckled and rubbed her arm below her injury, giving her a kiss on the side of the head, squeezing her.

“Are you seriously encouraging this?”, Reid asked.

“No. Of course not. I just... it’s just impressive.”, Hotch said.

“I think I liked it more when you guys were hiding your relationship. Then I didn’t have to hear everything you guys are talking about and get things thrown at me.”, Reid laughed.

“Well, just know that at least I’m impartial. No favoritism.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah at  _ least _ there’s that.”, Reid rolled his eyes.

“You don’t think so?”, Hotch asked.

“Well...”, Reid trailed off.

“I treat you all equally. I treat Emily the same as everyone else when we’re working.”, Hotch said.

“ _ Kind of _ .”, Reid said.

“What do you feel has been unfair?”, Hotch asked.

“I don’t know... You never seem to get upset with her and she never seems to get in trouble or make any mistake ever, according to you.”, Reid said.

“If I don’t get upset with her or  _ punish _ her, it’s because she hasn’t done anything wrong, messed up, gone against any codes or regulations.”, Hotch said.

“But if she had, how  _ would _ you handle that? I mean would you talk to her the same way as us when something happens?”, Reid asked.

“Absolutely.”, Hotch said.

“Reid, it  _ has _ happened before. It was before you guys knew about us. If anything, he comes down a lot harder on me than everyone else. Trust me. It may not seem like it. But he does. If anything, it’s probably because we’re so comfortable with each other that we can express what we’re feeling and thinking much better and also feel more comfortable... raising our voices at each other let’s just say.”, she laughed. 

“It’s true.”, Hotch said.

“Like that time in New York. It was before you guys knew about us but I was going off on Kate about something, I can’t even remember what. But I was way out of line and he pulled me out and we- had some words...”, she said, looking up at him and saw the sadness in his eyes all of a sudden, remembering what they’d really been talking about. 

Remembering the tears they shared, them holding each other, him telling her it would be okay and begging her not to go out in the field.

“Alright, yeah. I remember that, I guess.”, Reid said.

“Em...”, Hotch whispered.

“I’ll be right back.”, she tried to smile but felt a lump in her throat. She got up and started walking to the bathroom.

“Em, wait.”, Hotch said, following her. 

“Aaron, I just-“, she stopped once she got to the bathroom, right outside of it. She choked back a couple tears and looked down. Hotch closed the curtain separating them from the aisle and stood in front of the door.

“Emily...”, he said, holding her face and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

She finally let out a few tears and leaned into him, allowing him to carefully wrap his arms around her. 

“It just hits me more sometimes than other times.”, she sniffled.

“I know hun. Me too.”, he said.

“Is this ever gonna get any easier?”, she asked.

“I think it  _ has _ .”, he said.

“But I still cry about it.”, she said.

“That may always be the case. It’s normal to feel like this about it. It’d be strange if you didn’t.”, he said, rubbing her back.

“Sometimes I wish it never happened then and that it could’ve just happened later, you know? Happened when we were actually ready to have a baby.”, she said.

“I’m  _ so sorry _ .”, he whispered, the side of his face pressed next to hers. “Honey, it was all my fault, I-“, he tried.

“It takes two people, Aaron. It’s not your fault. We were both responsible.”, she said.

“I know... I just feel guilty. You had to go through that and be the one to physically bear the pain. I just wish there was something more I could’ve done.”, he said.

“You were there for me. And you still are. That’s the best you can do and better than a lot of people do. I’m really lucky to have you. Thank you.”, she said, squeezing him tighter.

“I’m always here.”, he said, kissing the top of her head. “I’m always here.”

“I know... I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said.

She pulled back and he softly smiled at her and wiped away her tears with a tissue he pulled out of his pocket. 

She stroked his face and brought him to her lips. “How do you do that?”, she asked.

“What?”, he asked.

“Always make me feel better so fast.”, she said.

“I don’t know.”, he chuckled. 

“This is why I keep you around.”, she said.

“ _ Just _ for that?”, he asked.

“Fine. A few other things too.”, she said.

“Good. Because there’s a lot of reasons why I keep  _ you _ around.”, he said.

“Oh yeah? Tell me some.”, she said.

“I can’t right now.”, he whispered.

“Do they have anything to do with what we did earlier this evening before we went to bed?”, she smirked.

“How many times do I have to tell you... you can’t talk like that on work hours unless we’re in a hotel room.”, he said through his teeth.

“I’ll take that as a  _ yes _ .”, she said, playing with his tie.

“ _ Em _ . Cut it out.”, he laughed.

She pulled his tie down and kissed his cheek. “You’re cute. Let’s go sit back down.”, she said with a smile as he opened the curtain, to find everyone asleep again. 

They walked back to their seats and sat down. She linked arms with him and rested her head on his shoulder. He gave her a kiss and threw his head back against the seat, falling asleep within just a couple minutes. 

A few hours later, they woke up to JJ gently shaking them. 

“Hey, we’re just a few minutes from landing.”, she said.

“Thanks.”, Hotch groaned.

“How cute.”, Derek said, walking up to them.

Emily opened her eyes and sat up. “What?”, she asked.

“You wearing his sweatshirt. Or at least, I assume it’s his sweatshirt.”, he chuckled. Emily looked down, shy. 

“She got cold.”, Hotch said.

“It’s not a  _ bad thing _ . It’s cute. He gives you his sweater when you’re cold. That’s all.”, Derek said.

Emily turned to the side and buried her face in Hotch’s neck, gripping his arm.

“I think she gets shy sometimes when it comes to that stuff still. In front of you guys at least.”, Hotch said. Emily swatted at his chest and he laughed. “Stop hitting me.”

“Mmmm.”, she mumbled, obviously still tired and hugged his side, bringing her arm around his stomach, holding tight.

“All I’m saying is you guys are cute.”, Derek said, laughing to himself and walking away.

“Sweetie?”, Hotch whispered in her ear.

“Hmm?”, she said.

“Can I see your face now?”, he chuckled. She brought it back and rested it on his shoulder, curled in. “Are you actually embarrassed?”

“Not  _ completely _ ...”, she said.

“Did I do something?”, he asked.

“No. It’s not you. It’s more...  _ all of them _ . They’re like children making kissy faces on the playground, teasing us. It’s funny, I guess, but I get a little shy when they do that... I don’t know... but it’s not you.”, she said, rubbing his side.

“Okay.”, he nodded, giving her a kiss on the head.

A few minutes later, they landed. Hotch helped Emily up and grabbed both of their bags. He put his arm around her as they walked down the steps and over to the SUV.

When he opened the car door for her, Derek came by. “What a gentleman.”, he laughed.

“Alright. Come on.”, Hotch rolled his eyes.

“I don’t remember  _ you _ getting many doors for me before, Derek.”, Emily said, raising an eyebrow before she hopped in.

“Hm.”, Hotch smiled, smug at Derek.

“Alright, you win. Whatever.”, Derek laughed, walking to his SUV.

Hotch got in the car and drove them back to the BAU. When they got there, he went to his office and grabbed his own keys, setting case files down on his desk. He walked out and looked at everyone half asleep, trying to do their reports. He went back in his office and grabbed his coat and briefcase, locking the door.

“Go home.”, he said.

“What?”, JJ asked.

“Everybody. Go home. Finish this on Monday, alright?”, he said, walking over to Emily and helping her up. He draped his coat over her shoulders, knowing even with the sweatshirt, she was still cold when she went outside. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and held her close as they started walking out.

“Wha- Aaron.”, she said.

“That’s it? We can just go home?”, Reid asked.

“I’m exhausted, you’re exhausted. We aren’t gonna get any good work done like this. We did earlier. Just-“, Hotch said.

“Don’t question him. He’s actually being nice.”, Emily laughed.

“I take back what I said earlier. I’m glad you guys are out about your relationship. Ever since then, you’ve been even nicer than when you apparently started seeing each other. Her kindness is rubbing off on you.”, Reid said.

“People have said that quite a bit.”, Emily said.

“I’m still the boss, I’m still professional, I’m still an ass sometimes, alright? Don’t think I’m getting too soft on you guys.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Don’t worry we’re still scared of you sometimes.”, Reid said.

Hotch looked at Emily surprised. “I told you! Haley and I  _ both _ told you!”, she said.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on. I’m tired.”, he said, guiding her out and waving to everyone as they went to the elevator. 

They got in his car and drove back to their place. When they parked, Hotch got out and grabbed both their bags after helping Emily out.

“While you  _ are _ being a gentleman and I appreciate it, it’s not necessary to do all this.”, she said, starting to walk inside the building with him.

“Let me take care of you, hun.”, he said.

“I’m _ fine! _ ”, she said, walking up the stairs to their apartment. 

“You got  _ shot _ .”, he said.

“ _ Grazed! It grazed! _ ”, she said.

“I don’t care. A bullet hit you. That’s bad enough.”, he said, unlocking the door.

They walked in and she did the alarm. When she turned around, she saw a piece of paper on the ground.

“What’s this?”, she asked, picking it up.

“Probably just some mail that got delivered to the wrong address.”, he said, dropping their bags in their room.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Just set it down and come to bed. We’ll look at it in the morning. I think I’m gonna skip the shower tonight even.”, he said, starting to get undressed.

“Aaron, I think you should see this.”, she said.

“Em, I’m so tired. It’s almost light out. Just come get-”, he said.

“ _ Aaron _ .”, she said.

“ _ What? _ ”, he asked, walking out in his pajama pants with his shirt in his hand.

She looked at him with wide eyes and handed him the piece of paper. “That symbol. It’s-“, she started.

“The Reaper... The Boston Reaper...”, he said, staring at it.

“Foyet...”, she breathed.

  
  



	83. Reunited

**Chapter 83**

  
  
  


***this chapter is based on the episode “100” but obviously has quite a few changes. some well known lines from the episode** **_are_ ** **used in this and some are very similar to them but not for too much of the chapter. the main event from the episode isn’t as long as the rest in the chapter because i mainly wanted to focus on them coming together as a family after what happens so most of it would be more original too.***

***SPOILER***

***i want to provide some reassurance by saying that haley does not die in this. i have no plans on her dying in this story. at first, i** **_had_ ** **decided to have the end result be the same as the actual episode but i really enjoy her character in this and wanted to come up with something happier than that, providing new directions for her and their whole family to go in:)***

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“Oh my god...”, Emily breathed. She waited for Hotch to say something but he was speechless, staring at the symbol drawn on the piece of paper left by _The Boston Reaper._ “Aaron... what does this mean?”

“I don’t know...”, he said quietly.

“What do we do?”, she said, starting to panic.

“I don’t know...”, he said again.

“Are you in danger now? Are Haley and Jack? God, what are we supposed to make of this? Is he coming for you or-“, she said when he finally lost it.

“ _I don’t know!_ ”, he raised his voice, not directed at her specifically.

“Okay, listen, I get that you’re-“, she started.

“I’m- I’m sorry. That was way out of line. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just need to think for a minute... I don’t know what to do. My brain... it’s- it’s clouded, I just- I don’t know what to do, Em.”, he said, feeling tears starting in his eyes and his voice becoming wobbly.

“Okay, okay. Sit down.”, she said, bringing him over to the couch. 

“I need to call the U.S. Marshal watching them. I- I have to warn him, right?”, he asked.

“Yes. Just do _that_ . Okay? _Just_ that right now. One thing at a time.”, she said.

He nodded and she went to grab his phone from their bedroom, bringing it back out to him.

“Go get changed. I don’t want to keep you in your work clothes. I know you’re tired.”, he said.

“Are you sure you don’t need me here with you while you make the call?”, she asked.

“No, really it’s fine- oh. Do you need help getting dressed or taking a shower or changing your wraps for your arm?”, he asked.

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”, she smiled and kissed his cheek, rubbing his shoulder as she stood up. “I think I _am_ gonna take a shower. Are you sure you don’t need me out here?”, she asked.

“I’m sure. Just get ready for bed, you look exhausted. I’m gonna make a cup of tea. Do you want one?”, he said. 

“Okay. And no, I’m okay, thank you. Just yell if you need me.”, she said, walking into their room.

As Emily got in the shower, she felt her body and mind start to catch up with each other. Her pulse started racing along with her thoughts about what had just happened and what could be coming next. 

She turned the water to cold after what seemed like only a few minutes, needing a shock to her system. Right after she did, another thing snapped her out of the state of mind she was stuck in. 

Her eyes shot open when she heard a glass break and Hotch curse loudly. She shut the water off immediately and hopped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her as fast as she could. Trying not to slip on the water she was dripping everywhere, she practically ran out to the living room to see what happened.

She spotted Hotch pacing the room, looking at his phone, and running his finger through his hair. Knowing him as well as she did, she could tell that the tears running down his face were more out of frustration than anything else. She saw a broken coffee mug on the ground and looked back up at him.

“Aaron.”, she said.

“He won’t answer.”, Hotch said, panicking and calling the Marshal again.

“Aaron. You need to breathe.”, she said, walking over to him.

“God- just- argh- dammit!”, he said through his teeth when the phone went straight to voicemail. He raised his arm and she grabbed it quick before he could throw his phone.

“Don’t.”, she said, lowering it, she could feel his whole body trembling with rage.

“Why won’t he-“, he started.

“Honey, honey. Look at me. Look at me, okay?”, she said, bringing his attention back to her. “ _Good. Good_.”, she stroked the back of his neck. “Just... deep breaths, okay?”

They inhaled slowly together and blew out a few times while she held onto his arm with her other hand and he nodded, closing his eyes.

“Come to bed.”, she said, starting to drag him back to their room.

“I can’t sleep yet, I need to get ahold of him.”, he said.

“You don’t have to sleep yet. Just come to bed. Besides I’m still really wet and cold right now, so...”, she said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, hun.”, he said, following her. 

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just lay down. I’m gonna finish up in the shower.”, she said, walking into the bathroom.

“Wait, come here.”, he said, taking her arm carefully. “ _Honey_ , that looks really painful.”

“I barely feel it right now.”, she said.

“ _Em_.”, he said.

“Aaron, go lay down. I’ve got it. If you really want, you can help me wrap it when I’m out. It’s a hard angle for me to get.”, she said.

“Deal.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “Now go warm up and get clean so you can come to bed.”

“Alright. I’ll be out soon. Please don’t break anything else.”, she laughed, closing the door.

“Okay. I’m sorry about that by the way. I’ll clean it up right now.”, he said.

“Thank you!”, she called out as she turned the water on.

After he cleaned up the mess in the living room, he came back into their bedroom and sat on the bed, trying to call again. After it went straight to voicemail two more times, he gave up for the moment. He walked over to the bathroom door and sat down.

“Are you doing okay?”, he asked.

“I’m fine.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked, leaning against it.

“Just come in here.”, she said.

He stood up and opened the door, closing it behind him and sitting down on the toilet with the lid already closed. 

“Honey, are you positive you don’t need any help?”, he asked.

“Yes but I think that since you’re in here, you may as well hop in yourself.”, she said.

“Oh, as nice as that sounds normally, I don’t think I have the energy right now and I’m not really in the mood.”, he said.

“Not _that_. I mean you should actually hop in when I’m done while the hot water is still going. Just rinse off even. You haven’t showered since yesterday morning and since then, we have had a full day of work, sex, chasing after serial killers, and riding on the jet. I think you might need a shower.”, she said.

“You’re right. Oh but I need to help you with your wraps.”, he said.

“It needs to breathe for a few minutes. You can do it after you get out.”, she said.

“Alright, fine.”, he sighed as he stood up and got undressed, right as she was getting out.

He stepped in and got under the hot water. Splashing it on his face right away, letting out another sigh.

“I told you it’d feel good.”, she said.

“You got an eye on my phone?”, he asked.

“Yeah. It’s right next to me.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he said.

“You know, maybe his phone just died.”, she said.

“Yeah...”, he said.

“Honey, listen, we’re gonna figure this out, alright? Maybe this could help us get a new lead. Maybe we can bring them home soon.”, she said. 

She heard him say something under his breath but couldn’t make out what it was. He eventually turned off the water and reached for a towel as he got out, wrapping it around his waist and running his fingers through his hair, slicking it back. 

He reached for the bandages in the medicine cabinet and bent down in front of her sitting on the toilet.

“Arm.”, he said.

She held out her arm for him as he began wrapping the bandages around it over the wound. She watched him focused on what he was doing and saw him swallow, holding back tears and sniffled.

When he finished, he kissed her arm right below it, above it, and then brought his lips to hers. He stood up and placed the bandages back in the medicine cabinet, closing it and wiping the mirror off, unfogging it. 

He paused when he looked straight at himself in it. Emily saw his eyes go to his chest and stomach in the mirror before he dropped his head and held the sink on both sides, gripping it tight. He could no longer hold back the tears and quietly let it out. She got up and stood next to him, putting her hand on his shoulder, running it up his neck and massaging the back of his head. He brought it up and even though his hair was still dripping water down his face, she could see the tears as well. 

“Do you see this? Do you see what he did to me?”, he said.

“I know.”, she said quietly and placed her other hand on his shoulder, kissing the side of his head.

“Emily, until we know what’s going on right now, I need you to stay by my side. I can’t have you leaving or going somewhere without me. I took the protective detail off of us a while ago but we might need it again. I can’t have you being somewhere without me. It’s too risky, okay? Please, just- just promise me you’ll stay by my side?”, he asked, turning his head to look at her.

“I promise.”, she nodded, stroking his hair.

“The man who did this to me is targeting my family. It’s one thing to say that or think about it but... _look at me!_ Knowing what he’s capable of... _seeing it_... I’m... I’m scared. Not for me but for you and for Haley and for Jack and... I’m so scared.”, he said, starting to cry more. “I want to protect you guys but the fact that he could do this to me alone...”, he said, looking down at his chest and abs again, “... I hate having to think about what he might try to do to any of you.”

“Sweetie...”, she said, turning his body around and bringing him into her arms, holding him close and as tight as she could. “We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna figure this out and we’re gonna catch him. He’s _not_ going to get away with this. We _will_ find him and we’ll make sure he doesn’t get to anyone else, okay?”, she said, rubbing the back of his neck again.

“I don’t know how to do this, Em. I don’t-“, he sobbed.

“We’re doing it together. You are not alone.”, she said. She felt him nod against the side of her head and leaned against it more. “It’s okay, babe. I’m not leaving your side. I’m right here. You can let it out.”, she whispered in his ear, making him cry harder and hug her tighter.

They held each other for a while until he stopped crying and she wiped away a few of her own tears. He turned his face into the side of hers and kissed her. 

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, pulling her head back and pressing her forehead to his. She brought her hand to his cheek and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. When she opened them, she stared at him, telling him again, without having to speak. She closed her eyes again as she moved her lips onto his, kissing him soft but deep.

“I never told you this but... although part of me knew he wouldn’t come back so soon after he attacked me the first time, another part of me was terrified to fall asleep. I still don’t know how he got in here.”, he said, looking down.

“All we can do right now is make sure everything is locked, okay?”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he nodded.

All of a sudden, his phone rang and they both quickly turned their heads to it. He let it ring a couple times.

“ _Aaron, answer it. It’s him._ ”, she said. 

He held up his finger and waited for a third ring. After that, he looked at her and stayed completely still. 

“It’s him.”, he said.

“Yeah, _I know! Answer it!_ ”, she said.

“No. It’s _Foyet_. When Sam calls me, he lets it ring twice, hangs up and calls again. That’s how I know when it’s him. This is Foyet. He has his phone.”, he said

“Aaron, _answer it._ ”, she said, persistent. 

He slowly reached over for the phone on the sink and slid the answer button across. He stayed silent, waiting for Foyet to say something.

“ _Agent Hotchner._ Sorry I missed your calls. I wasn’t exactly available at the moment. Sam couldn’t really get to the phone either. Eesh. That’s not a pretty site to see. I’m sure you can imagine. You’re familiar with my handiwork when it comes to knives. Ahh it’s been so long it feels! How are you?! You know what, I feel like we’re on a first name basis at this point, Aaron.”, Foyet said.

“I beg to differ.”, Hotch said.

“Ohhh, _don’t beg._ That’s not like you. You didn’t even beg me to put down the gun I had pointed at you last time! Or really at all that night. Man, you’re fearless, you know that?! I wonder if little Jack would grow up to be like that. Boy, he sure is a cute one. Still in that obsessed with Batman phase, huh?”, Foyet chuckled.

“Where are they?”, Hotch said, trying to keep it together when really, he wanted to scream at him and demand some answers.

“Oh, sorry, I gotta take this. Hold on.”, Foyet said. Suddenly, his voice changed. He lowered it, speaking in a deeper tone and more calm. “Are you there yet?”

“We’re just walking up. Are you _sure_ this is necessary? You’re positive we’re in danger?”, Hotch could hear Haley say coming from the other phone Foyet was holding.

Hotch clenched his fists before he pushed the door open and ran over to the dresser. 

Emily followed after him, both grabbing a pair of jeans and shirts, changing as fast as they could while he stayed on the phone. 

“Yes. Unfortunately. But don’t worry, I’ll be there shortly and we’ll have you both relocated as soon as possible.”, Foyet said.

“Okay... and you’re _sure_ that Aaron’s...”, Haley sniffled.

“Dead. Yes. I’m _terribly_ sorry.”, Foyet said.

“Okay... okay.... We just came through the gate and we’ll go upstairs.”, Haley said. 

“Mommy are we coming home?”, Jack said in the background. 

“Just for today, sweetie.”, Haley said.

Hotch’s heart broke when he heard that but looked at Emily and half nodded, finally knowing where they were. She grabbed their guns and holsters, put on their shoes, and raced out the door, hopping in the car.

“Remember. Lock all the doors and only answer when I knock two times.”, Foyet said.

“Okay.”, Haley sniffled again.

Hotch turned his phone on mute so Foyet couldn’t hear him and turned to Emily in the passenger seat.

“Call JJ now and have her send everybody to the house. Uniforms, SWAT, ambulance, everyone on our team, just-“, Hotch said.

“Already ringing.”, Emily said, touching his arm. 

When JJ finally picked up, Emily explained everything as fast as she could, making sure she heard her and started contacting all authorities and sending them to the house. She hung up and took a deep breath, tuning back into Hotch and Foyet’s conversation that had resumed.

“Let me guess... _you_ got him the Batman backpack. It’s adorable, really.”, Foyet said.

“I swear to god, if you touch either of them, I will _kill_ you.”, Hotch said.

“Well, I think we both saw how that worked out last time you tried but it’s nice to be optimistic.”, Foyet said.

“It’s one thing to-“, Hotch started.

“Oh. Gotta run. I promised I’d drop by. I hate to keep them waiting too long, you know? Ten years was a _little_ much. I used to be pretty patient but not so much lately. But _hey_ , it was great catching up with you! Maybe I’ll give you a call back in a few.”, Foyet said.

“If you-“, Hotch tried but Foyet hung up before he could finish his sentence.

Emily could see his lip quivering and tears forming in his eyes. His knuckles turned white, gripping the steering wheel so tight.

“Honey, you don’t have to hold it back.”, she said.

“I- I can’t- I can’t break down right now. Not right now. _Right now_ I need to be level headed and focused, okay? I need to-“, he swallowed.

When he saw a red light up ahead, he knew he couldn’t stop but he was in his personal SUV, not a work one but he always carried a light to put on top of the car in case of emergencies like this one. 

“Em, I need you to grab the emergency police light and put it on top of the car.”, he said.

She reached in the glovebox and grabbed it, turning it on and stuck it on top of the car as he sped up more and ran the red light. Not even five minutes later, he got a call again from the same phone. 

“Foyet?”, Hotch said.

“Aaron?”, Haley said.

“Haley.”, he sighed.

“I thought you were...”, she said.

“I know. I’m okay. We’re okay.”, he said.

“Emily? Is she there?”, she asked.

“ _Emily. Emily Prentiss, right?_ ”, Foyet said.

“Don’t feed into it, Haley. He’s just trying to scare you, okay? Don’t show him any fear.”, Hotch said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I really thought-“, she said.

“I know.”, he said, finally letting some tears fall, affecting his voice but trying to steady it.

“You’re coming?”, she asked.

“We’ll be there soon, Haley, I promise. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. I meant what I said in the hospital before you left. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you guys... I _promise_.”, he said.

“That’s nice and all, man but... it’ll be kind of hard to do that when they’re d-e-a-d.”, Foyet said, covering Jack’s ears. “Smart kid. Gotta make sure he can’t spell that out.”

“Haley, don’t listen to him... Put Jack on the phone.”, Hotch said.

“Jack, it’s daddy.”, she said, handing him the phone.

“Hi, daddy.”, Jack said.

“Hey, buddy. I need you to do something for me, okay?”, he asked.

“Okay.”, Jack said.

“I need you to work a case with me. _Right now_. Can you do that? Can you help me with a case right now?”, Hotch asked.

“Okay.”, Jack said.

“Give your mommy a hug and go start, okay?... I love you.”, Hotch said, his voice cracking.

“Okay, daddy. I love you too.”, Jack said, giving Haley a hug and handing the phone back to her, running off.

“We’re only a minute away. Just keep them on the line.”, Emily whispered to him.

“Aaron, I need you to-“, she started.

“No. You’re not saying _goodbye_ , okay?”, he said.

“Come on, Aaron, let her finish. She obviously has something she needs to get out before it’s too late.”, Foyet said.

“Haley, you’re not going to die. Okay? _Don’t listen to him_.”, Hotch said.

“Emily? Are you there?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.”, Emily said, starting to tear up herself.

“I never thought I could ever trust anyone with Jack as much as I do with both of you and I know how much you love him and I want to thank you for that and everything you do for him and have done for _me_.”, Haley said, trying not to cry.

“ _Haley_ , this _isn’t_ the end. Don’t-“, Emily said.

“So _that’s Emily._ I’ve seen pictures but... nice to put a voice to the face and name.”, Foyet said.

No one spoke for a few moments when finally, that silence was cut off by three gunshots and the phone dying.

Emily gasped after the first one and after the call ended, Hotch shut his eyes for a second, tight, holding back so much. He almost threw his phone but knew Emily would stop him so he slammed his hand down on the steering wheel and gave in to the need to cry. Full-on, letting it out. 

Him and Emily both stayed silent, trying to make it till they got to the house. He turned the corner onto the street and went flying down until he got to the house just a few minutes before everyone else. He jumped out of the car as fast as he could with Emily right behind him. 

“No! You have to stay here. You don’t have a vest or anything. I’m not letting you go in without other people by your side or any protection.”, he said.

“Aaron, I’m coming in.”, she said.

“Emily, no! Just listen to me right now. _Please_. Just wait until everyone else is here... I love you...”, he said before running up to the front door and going inside.

Emily stood by the car, trying to maintain her composure. A couple minutes later, JJ and the rest of the team pulled up. They hopped out of the SUV’s, putting their vests on and pulling their guns. JJ ran up to Emily and handed her a vest.

“Where’s Aaron?”, JJ asked.

“He went inside. He wouldn’t let me follow him without all of you and protection. But now I have a vest and you guys. I need to go in.”, Emily said, trying to move.

“No. We need to wait for SWAT. They’re almost here.”, JJ said, blocking her.

“JJ, _Aaron_ is in there with nobody by his side and no protection... and I think Haley’s...”, she rolled her lips in. “I know where Jack is but I have no idea if he’s okay. I _need_ to go _in_.”, Emily said.

“No. We _can’t_.”, JJ said, blocking her again.

Derek walked over and tried to keep her back as well. “Emily, you can _not_ go in yet.”, he said.

“I don’t care about waiting for SWAT. My boyfriend is in there along with my best friend and the closest thing I have to a kid! They’re my family and a serial killer is in there with them... _the same one that almost killed my boyfriend before! I’m going in!_ ”, Emily yelled, trying to push past them. 

They kept trying to block her from moving forward but all stopped when they heard multiple gunshots in a row. Emily froze for a minute before lunging forward.

“ _Aaron!_ ”, she screamed. “ _Let go of me! Aaron! Aaron! No! Stop!_ ”, she cried, Derek picking her up and pulling her back while JJ helped push back. Emily kicked around, fighting to get out of his arms to run ahead but couldn’t.

They became still after a moment when Emily stopped and felt weak in her knees, starting to fall to the ground. She brought her hand to her mouth and started sobbing.

JJ bent down next to her and tried to help her up but Emily didn’t budge. She just bawled her eyes out silently on and off, letting out cries every other breath she took.

“You don’t even know if Aaron was hit. It could’ve been _him_ shooting _Foyet_.” JJ said, rubbing her arm.

“He was shot before and almost died in my hands. He was wearing a vest that time. He’s not now. If he was shot just now, he’s probably dead.”, Emily cried.

“But he might’ve _not_ been shot!”, JJ said.

“I can’t-“, Emily said, trying to wipe her tears away.

They heard SWAT coming up to the street and hopping off the vehicle.

“Okay, let’s get up. Come on.”, JJ said, helping her up.

Once Emily was on her feet, she ran up to the front door and heard a tremendous amount of shouting and multiple things being broken and thrown around. 

“Emily, wait!”, JJ called out to her, but stayed behind until SWAT was ready.

Emily opened the door with her gun drawn and went towards the dining room, following the sounds she’d heard. She knew where everything was in the house, after having practically lived there for a couple months with Hotch. 

She heard Hotch grunting and more things breaking but it wasn’t a table or glasses or anything like that this time. It sounded like bones. She turned the corner and put her gun away when she saw Foyet no longer moving, on the ground and Hotch on top of him, wailing on him even though he was obviously dead by then. 

She ran up to him, noticing all the blood on him, knowing at least half of it was his own but definitely not all. The cuts and marks all over him broke her heart. Before she could get lost in that or distracted any more, she pulled him off. 

“Aaron! He’s gone, it’s done!”, she said, falling to the ground and holding him in her arms from behind. She stroked his hair and kissed his head. “It’s done, honey. It’s _done_.”, she whispered while he gave up all control of his body and emotions and leaned back into her. 

His body was so tense when he tried letting out a cry that nothing _would_ come out and the whole place was silent. She grabbed one of his hands and squeezed, letting him feel something to ground him. She wrapped her other arm over his shoulder, hugging him and pulling back against her chest. Nuzzling her head against his and in his neck, she kissed the side of it and hushed him, in hopes of calming him a bit. 

“He’s gone. It’s all over, sweetie, okay? It’s _all over_.”, she said, continuing to stroke his hair and slightly rock back and forth.

He finally squeezed her hand back. Shortly after, he stood up fast, right before SWAT came in with everyone else. 

He raced upstairs as Emily followed behind him, knowing exactly where he was going. He made a beeline for his old office and got on his knees, hesitating before he opened the chest and found Jack laying in it. A slight smile passed his face and looked up at Hotch. 

“I worked the case, daddy. Just like you said.”, Jack told him. 

Hotch took in the sight of Jack, completely safe and unharmed. 

“You did a great job, buddy.”, Hotch said, reaching for him and picking him up, placing him on his feet and hugged him. “I missed you so much, my little G man.”

“I missed you too, daddy.”, Jack said.

Emily came in slowly and bent down to Jack when she approached him and he instantly ran at her with open arms.

“Emmy!”, he said. 

She grabbed him and stood up, holding him close as he latched on. He threw his arms around her neck and gave her a koala hug. She held the back of his head and looked up at the ceiling, bringing tears back in. She kissed his head and looked down at Hotch. 

Everyone else came running upstairs and into all the rooms. JJ stepped into the office and stared at them, mainly at Hotch covered in blood. 

“Are you guys okay?”, JJ asked, breathing heavy. Emily nodded.

“Can you take him outside? I can’t have him see anything else in here.”, Hotch said, looking down at the floor.

“Mmhm.”, Emily sniffled. She walked out of the office with Jack still in her arms, following JJ downstairs and outside.

Hotch stayed in place for a minute until he heard Derek call his name. He stood up and ran into the bedroom, to find Haley hugging him. She didn’t seem to be hurt at all. 

Hotch stopped in place and then walked over to them, feeling more relieved than he ever had in his whole life. 

“Haley.”, he said.

She pulled back from Derek and looked over at Hotch, immediately heading towards him with open arms. He pulled her in and hugged her so tight it almost hurt. He started crying even more and didn’t let go of her for a couple minutes. 

When she pulled back from him, she saw his face all cut up and bleeding. “What happened?”, she asked.

“He’s dead.”, he told her.

“You-“, she started.

He nodded and closed his eyes, lowering his head before bringing it back up and looking right at her. “But _you’re not_.”, he said.

“I knew Emily speaking would distract him because he seemed to take such an interest in her. I figured that was my opportunity to try and knock the gun out of his hand... and I _did_. But he fired it during the struggle and... then the phone got crushed and the call ended obviously and...”, she said, frantic.

“I thought you were dead.”, he breathed.

“No. I’m still here.”, she cried.

“What- what happened after? How did he not-“, he said.

“Well... he _did_ knock me out and dragged me

under the bed and waited for you to come in, I guess. I- I don’t know, it’s just-“, she sighed.

“What’d he hit you with?”, he asked, looking around her head and found a small cut right on the side of her forehead. 

“The _gun_.”, she said.

“Okay... come on. Let’s get you checked out. There’s some paramedics out front.”, he said, guiding her out with his arm around her back and his other holding onto her arm, keeping her steady as Derek followed them out.

“Wait! Where’s Jack? Is he okay?”, she asked.

“He’s fine. He’s completely fine. Emily’s got him.”, he said.

“Thank god.”, she sighed.

When they headed for the front door, she looked behind her in the dining room at the mess that was made, along with M.E.‘s and a crime scene unit draping a cover over Foyet’s body.

“Don’t look over there.”, Hotch said, bringing her head to his shoulder.

They stepped outside and headed over to Emily and Jack. They turned around and Emily almost burst into tears just seeing Haley alive. 

“ _Haley_.”, she cried, reaching one arm out for her, still holding Jack in the other. 

They hugged each other tight and Haley kissed Jack’s head. Emily propped him up more on her side and almost handed him over to Haley but before she could take him, she felt light headed. She leaned to the side and grabbed onto Hotch’s arm, almost tumbling over. He caught her and picked her up. 

“I think we need to get checked out.”, he said.

“I’ll follow you.”, Emily said, walking with them over to the ambulances. They sat down on the back of one and got bandaged up.

“Are you okay?”, Jack asked Hotch and Haley.

“Yeah, buddy. We’re okay. We got hurt a little but we’re okay.”, Hotch tried to smile. 

“What do we do? I mean... where do we go... what happens now?”, Haley asked, almost losing it.

“Stay with us. Jack already has his own room and we have a blow up mattress so you can either take our bed or the blow up.”, Hotch said.

“I can’t impose like that.”, she said.

“You’re not. You can’t stay at the house and Jessica doesn’t have enough space anymore, since she moved into a smaller apartment. Besides, we really missed you guys.”, Hotch teared up.

“Are we staying with you, daddy?”, Jack asked. Hotch looked at Haley and she nodded, inhaling deep.

“Yeah. Okay.”, she said.

“Yay!”, Jack said, reaching out to Hotch who grabbed him and sat him on his lap.

“We’ll make it work. We’ll figure something out later but for now, we’ll make it work.”, Emily smiled.

Haley nodded again and took her hand, squeezing it. “Thank you.”, she whispered.

“ _Always_.”, Emily said.

“At least I can take this off now.”, Haley said, pulling off her wig, revealing her natural longer, blonde hair.

“Wha- that was a wig?”, Hotch asked.

“Aaron, please. Do you think I would actually cut and dye my hair? I refused to.”, Haley laughed.

“I should’ve known.”, he chuckled.

“Are you guys all good? Are you able to go home now?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah. I think we’re fine now.”, he said, helping Haley up. “Let’s get out of here and just go home.”, reaching for the keys in his pocket after handing Jack off to Emily again. She grabbed them from him and gave him a look.

“There’s _no way_ you’re driving right now.”, she said.

“I should’ve known that _too_.”, he said.

They got to the car and Hotch insisted on Haley taking the front passenger seat while Emily and Hotch opened the trunk and pulled out Jack’s car seat. They moved to backseat and clipped it in, strapping and buckling him in as well. 

Emily shut the door and moved over to the side Hotch was on before he could get in. She took his hands in hers and looked down. He brought her chin up and she placed her hand on his face gently, stroking it. She pressed her forehead to his and they both closed their eyes, taking a moment. She looked at him again and rolled her lips in before having theirs meet each other’s. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”, she whispered.

“Me too.”, he said.

“I’m gonna clean you up when we get home and then we’re going to bed. The last sleep we got was only for a couple hours and that was last night. Before that... I don’t even know but we are sleep deprived and your body must be worn out from everything that just happened... Are you sure you don’t need to go to the E.R.? I’m a little worried...”, she said.

“I’m sure. But thank you for looking out for me and taking care of me.”, he said, kissing her hand.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. _I love you so much_.”, she said.

“I love you too, hun.”, he said, kissing her forehead and breaking apart from her. He climbed in the backseat to sit next to Jack while she got in the driver's seat and started the car, driving back to their apartment.

When they arrived, Hotch unbuckled Jack from his seat and followed Emily and Haley inside. They walked into the apartment and set Jack down.

“Um, you probably want to shower or rinse off at least.”, Hotch said to Haley. 

“That’d be nice.”, she said.

“There’s fresh towels in Jack’s bathroom or I guess it’s the guest bathroom.”, he said.

“I don’t have a change of clothes...”, she said.

“We’ll get some of your stuff tomorrow but you can borrow some of my pajamas for tonight if you want.”, Emily said.

“Really?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got sweats, pajama pants, comfy baggy t-shirts. We’re about the same size. You could probably fit into anything of mine if you need and I can wash your clothes too. I have a load of laundry to do anyways.”, Emily said.

“Thank you.”, Haley nodded and smiled.

“Come pick something out.”, Emily said, leading her into their bedroom and opening their drawers. She grabbed a pair of pajama pants, a baggy t-shirt and thick pair of socks since it was still cold out even though they turned on the heat. 

“I’ll be out soon.”, Haley said, walking into the bathroom.

Hotch and Emily walked over to Jack sitting on the couch, playing with a race car on the top and edge of it.

“Hey, buddy, are you sleepy at all?”, Hotch asked. Jack shook his head and continued playing. “Are you hungry?”

“No.”, Jack said.

“How about we take a bath after mommy’s out of the shower.”, Hotch said.

“Can I take one _tonight?_ ”, Jack asked.

“Ahhh...”, Hotch looked at Emily to get her opinion and she made a sympathetic face, nodding. “Sure. But you actually have to take one. No whining or arguing or pretending to forget.”

“ _Okaaayyy daddy._ ”, Jack huffed. Emily let out a tiny laugh and Hotch looked over at her and raised an eyebrow.

“ _Thank_ you.”, Hotch said, standing up and walking over to the closet outside Jack’s room where they kept blankets, pillows and pillowcases, and the blow up mattress. He pulled it out and brought it into Jack’s room.

Emily grabbed the piece to plug in that fills it with air and hooked it up to the side of it after laying it out flat. She turned it on and they crouched down, feeling it rise once it filled with air more. She rubbed his back and looked at him.

“I think you should take a shower once Haley’s out.”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he said, staring straight ahead.

“I can help you and-“, she started.

“No. I got it.”, he said quietly.

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he nodded.

“Okay...”, she said, dropping her hand to her side.

“I think that seems good.”, he said, turning the machine off.

“I’ll grab some sheets and pillows.”, she said, standing up and walking out to the closet, grabbing some. 

She brought them back in and he helped pull the cover over. She shook out the sheets and blanket towards him, laying them on top. They each tucked a pillow in a pillowcase and set them down at the head of the mattress. 

They stood there in silence for a moment, her not quite sure what to say to him but could tell his whole mood had changed from earlier. Right as she opened her mouth, the bathroom door opened and Haley came out wearing the pajamas Emily was lending her. She walked out to her and smiled softly.

“Feel any better?”, Emily asked.

“More refreshed, definitely.”, Haley nodded. “Thank you.”

“You really don’t have to keep saying that. You’re family. It’s not some favor we’re doing for you. This is just what family does for each other.”, Emily said.

Haley smiled and gave her a big hug. “I know but still... _thank you. For everything_.”, Haley whispered.

“We’re here for you.”, Emily said. 

Hotch came out of Jack’s room and walked over to him but turned around to them. 

“I’m gonna hop in the shower and... get cleaned up.”, he said, leaning over the couch and ruffling Jack’s hair.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.”, Jack said, looking up at him.

“Oh, _now_ you’re hungry, huh.”, Hotch said, trying to let out a tiny laugh.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said.

“What do you want? I don’t think we have any spaghetti-o’s right now but I can go get some if you want.”, Hotch said.

“Grilled cheese?”, Jack asked.

“You want grilled cheese?”, Hotch asked.

“Mhm.”, Jack said.

“Well... you know who makes the best grilled cheese ever in the whole world?”, Hotch asked.

“Who?”, Jack asked.

“Emily.”, he said, looking over at her.

“Really?”, Jack asked.

“Mmhmm. It’s my favorite.”, Hotch said.

“Can she make me some?”, Jack asked.

“Why don’t you ask her.”, Hotch said.

“Emmy?”, Jack called for her.

“Yeah, sweetie.”, she said, walking over to him.

“Can you make me a grilled cheese _pleeease?_ ”, Jack asked.

“Of course. I might have one for myself even. Haley, do you want one?”, she asked.

“Actually, that sounds really good.”, Haley said, walking to the couch and sitting down with Jack, cuddling up next to him.

“Aaron?”, Emily looked at him.

“Only if you can make it be ooey gooey by the time I’m out of the shower like it always is.”, he said.

“I can manage that.”, she said.

“Then _yes_.”, he said.

“Alright, go shower and I’ll get those started.”, she said, heading towards the kitchen.

“Uh... Before you do... could you come help me with something?”, he asked.

“Yeah, of course.”, she said, following him into their room. He closed the door and walked into their bathroom, her closing the door behind them.

He started slowly pacing across the room right away, from wall to wall, worrying her. She gave him a minute but when he still hadn’t spoken, she stepped closer and grabbed his arms.

“Aaron, what’s happening right now?”, she asked calmly.

He took in a deep breath before he started hyperventilating, escalating to that within seconds. His chest heaving and his eyes looking behind Emily, refusing for them to make contact with her. He backed away fast, turned to the toilet, lifting the lid and hunched over, immediately throwing up.

“ _Honey_.”, she said, bending down next to him and rubbing his back.

He groaned and wiped his mouth off, sitting down against the wall. She scooted up to him, sitting right in front, facing him. He opened his eyes and was still breathing fast. She took his hands out straight and stroked them.

“Do you want one of my Xanax?”, she asked. He shook his head and squeezed her hands. “Okay, just breathe.”, she said inhaling with her whole body and releasing it as if it was a heavy load she was getting off her chest. “Aaron, breathe with me.”

His lip quivered but he inhaled through his nose strong and held it for a few seconds before blowing it out his mouth with her slowly. They kept doing that until she could feel his pulse slowing and his breathing regulate. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

“I killed someone today.”, he gulped and closed his eyes briefly again.

“Yeah.”, she nodded quietly. “We’ve all pulled the trigger though with our job. It’s happened.”

“I killed a man with my bare hands today. I’ve never done that. That’s never happened. _That’s_ not something we do with our job. _That’s not something I’m used to_.”, he said.

“I know. But you did it to protect your family. _And yourself._ It was self defense and preventing him from killing your child and his mother. You did what you had to.”, she said.

“I didn’t know I was capable of doing that.”, his voice cracked. “I- I’ve never felt so out of control before. I’ve never been out of control like that.”, he said.

“I know, honey...”, she said.

“There’s something I didn’t mention when I was telling you what happened that night he was here. When I told you in the hospital... I left out a part...”, he said.

“Do you wanna tell me _now?_ ”, she asked.

He ever so slightly nodded and took another deep breath. 

“That night... after he’d kicked me to the ground and I couldn’t get up... well that’s when he got on top of me and stabbed me at first. I remember my body was so tense and I kept trying to get up but he’d push me back down with the knife... I finally lost a lot of energy and strength and laid there, powerless while he hovered over me. He started talking about our profile of him and... then he took his shirt off to show me his _own_ scars and he started going on about _how_ he did it to himself and when he started explaining it...”, he sighed, shutting his eyes closed.

“It’s okay.”, she said.

“He didn’t just stab me like before. It wasn’t as forceful or hard, he- it was slower... almost like the knife was sinking into my body... he just kept telling me not to fight it because it only makes it worse and that relaxing... made it go in easier. I had no more energy to fight it anyways and I kept feeling like I was about to pass out but I kept telling myself _not_ to because that would mean that he won but at a certain point I did because it goes blank after that but... it was like I gave up. I had no control then. _He_ did. He had all the power and I was just... _weak_ . But _today_ ... today was different. Today, I shot him. _I shot him._ But he had a vest on and he came at me just like that last time. Only... last time, he knocked me to the ground within seconds. But today, I stayed up. I didn’t fall until we tackled each other and tumbled all the way down the stairs. I don’t know _how_ but I got up and fought back. I grabbed him and we fell back on the table, breaking it and slamming it to the floor and... that time I _couldn’t_ get up... and I went back to that night here... I stopped for a second and just laid there, feeling defeated. He kicked me over and over but then he told me he was gonna find Jack and he- something inside me switched on. He turned around for a second and I just- without even thinking, grabbed one of the table legs that had broken off. I swung it and hit him with it. He fell and I got on top of him before he could get up and held him down. It wasn’t until he said he surrendered and paused for a moment before speaking again, that I... I punched him and... he _laughed_ . He was bleeding from his mouth and nose and he just... _laughed_ . Once he did that... I ultimately, just _completely_ lost it. Before I knew it, my fists made contact with his face and after a couple times I started to... hear things crushing and cracking and breaking and... he stopped talking and struggling and I couldn’t stop. I saw these images, playing over and over in my head of everything he’s done and taken away from me from the beginning of it all and something overpowered me and I don’t know... I don’t know when or how I would’ve stopped if you hadn’t come in and pulled me off...”, he said, looking down.

“ _You did what you had to_.”, she kept trying to reassure him.

“I know he was horrible and probably deserved everything... but whether or not that’s what was deserved, I still can’t be content with the fact that I killed someone with my bare hands. I mean... I’d do it again if it were the same situation but that doesn’t make it easy to cope with or wrap my head around. It’s like I feel numb but also an overwhelming sense of so many different emotions, all painful, yet I can seem to completely access any of them and resort to feeling numb but I know I’m still in shock from _everything_ that happened today. I know we all are... I just don’t know when it’s gonna hit us.”, he said.

“We just have to be open and let it happen when it does, not block it. I know I’m still in shock. Because somehow, I could describe myself as feeling calmed down because my energy level is way down but I think that can also be confused with shock. Even exhaustion. Same with Haley. We’re all going through this together, alright?”, she said. He nodded and sniffled. 

She scooted next to him and leaned over, wrapping her arms around him. It took him a second but he turned around to face her and brought her in close, and held on, burying his face in between her neck and shoulder. She stroked his hair and rested her head against his.

“I know you’re still scared but he can’t get to any of us anymore.”, she said as she felt him start to cry. “I’m right here with you... I’m right by your side... I’ve got you...”, she whispered.

“I love you so much.”, he said.

“I know, sweetie. I love you too.”, she said, continuing to stroke his hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah.”, he said.

“We have them back now.”, she said.

He nodded and gripped her tighter before releasing her from his arms and looked deep in her eyes. He tucked her hair behind her ear and pulled her face closer planting a kiss on her lips and then her forehead.

“Thank you.”, he said. She smiled and took his hand, helping him up. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any help?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I got it.”, he said, pulling his shirt off and moving to his pants.

“Okay. Just call for me if you need me?”, she said.

“I will.”, he smiled softly.

“Alright. I’m gonna go make us some food. Take your time.”, she said.

“Thanks, hun.”, he said.

She gave him a quick kiss before walking out and changed out of her own clothes into sweats and a clean shirt. She stepped out into the living room and stood by the couch.

“Is he alright?”, Haley asked.

“He _will_ be. I think we’re all still in a bit of shock and he’s having mixed reactions. He got sick but I’m sure that was from all the stress and adrenaline. He’s gonna be fine.”, Emily said.

“Okay... good.”, Haley nodded.

“So are we up for some grilled cheese now?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“Alright, I’ll get those started. Did you guys want anything else?”, Emily asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Apple juice!”, Jack said.

“Just a water.”, Haley said.

“ _Alright_.”, Emily said. 

“Thank you.”, Haley said.

“Of course.”, Emily smiled. 

She grabbed a juice box from the fridge for Jack and poured Haley a glass of water, bringing them over to them.

“Thanks.”, Haley said.

“No problem.”, Emily said. She pulled out some bread and cheese and butter along with a pan to cook them in. 

Her heart warmed when she heard Jack laughing and his little footsteps across the floor and as he ran around with his toys. She couldn’t help but smile. 

“Mommy, did you see my race car track?”, Jack asked.

“No. Why don’t you show me?”, Haley said.

“Here. You’re blue.”, he said.

“Ohh, _thank you_. When did you get this?”, she asked.

“Emmy and daddy got them for me for my birthday.”, he said.

“Last year?”, she asked.

“Uh huh.”, he nodded.

“Oh, that reminds me. We still have some birthday presents for you for _this_ birthday you just had.”, Emily said.

“Where?!”, Jack sprang up and ran over to her in the kitchen.

“We’ll give them to you later, alright?”, she said.

“ _Alriiiight_.”, he sighed. 

“Um... Haley... I was thinking...”, Emily said.

“Hm?”, Haley said, walking over to her.

“What if... you and Jack stayed here for a little while.”, Emily said.

“Well... that is the plan... the house is a crime scene but once it’s cleared...”, Haley said.

“But maybe a little longer than that. I mean... were you planning on moving back into the house?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t know... I haven’t really thought about it much but, no, I guess not.”, Haley said.

“What if you guys stayed with us until you found a new place if that’s what you end up doing?”, Emily asked.

“I couldn’t possibly do that. You need your space and that would just be crowded and-“, Haley said.

“I think it’d be really nice to have you guys here for a little. We spent so much time apart and so much has happened... it would be really nice...”, Emily said.

“I don’t know...”, Haley said.

“We could get a real mattress or futon for you and there’s some space we can make and I’m not saying it would be permanent but maybe until you guys find a new place and everything is more stable.”, Emily said.

“Have you discussed this with Aaron?”, Haley asked.

“ _Well_...”, Emily laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t know how he’d feel about living with his ex-wife again for more than just a few nights. Even temporarily. We’re still friends and really close, we get along really well but... I don’t know how he’d feel about that.”, Haley said.

“You guys are family. I’m sure he’d be fine. But... I’ll talk to him. Unless you wouldn’t want that.”, Emily said.

“I think I’d like to know what he thinks about it or how he feels about it first, before I consider anything.”, Haley said.

“Alright.”, Emily nodded.

“Also... I need to talk to Tom. I just don’t know if I should call him today or tomorrow or when... also, he has a house and I’m sure we could stay with him for a while too. He’s even talked about moving in together but of course that was before everything that happened.”, Haley said.

“Oh. Well, that’s great! Um... you’re obviously thinking about him. Maybe you _should_ call him.”, Emily said. 

“You think so?”, Haley asked.

“I know that he would want to hear from you as soon as possible. Not to pressure you but I’m sure it’s not too soon to call him. He really misses you.”, Emily said.

“I’ll call him after we eat.”, Haley said.

“Is it almost done?”, Jack asked.

“Yours is almost done.”, Emily said, flipping the grilled cheese in the pan.

After a minute, she served it on a plate and put another one in for Haley. She handed the plate and a napkin to Jack and he ran over to the table. As she finished cooking Haley’s, Hotch came out. 

“Mmmm. It smells gooooood.”, he said, walking over to Emily.

“I’m about to put yours in.”, she said, scooping Haley’s out and serving it on a plate for her. She took it to the table and sat with Jack. 

Once Emily and Hotch had a bit of privacy from that angle, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck, and resting his head over her shoulder. She reached over for his cheese and bread, putting it in the pan.

“Honey, you should eat first. I’ll take the last one.”, he said.

“No. You need it more and besides, I’m cooking. I can’t eat until everything is all cooked anyways.”, she said.

“Alright. Well, I’m glad you’re making food for yourself at least.”, he said.

“Somebody’s reminders have stuck in my brain now.”, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. He smiled back and brought his lips to hers. “Oh, by the way, Jack wants to open his birthday presents.”

“How about tonight?”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said.

“Em... I’m sorry if I scared you today or worried you. I was just thinking about it and... you heard gunshots while I was in the house and you were still outside. I know that always scares you when you can’t see where I am especially if I’m not wearing a vest, ever since the time I _was_ shot.”, he said.

“Yeah... I might’ve gone a little crazy when I heard them. And when I say a little crazy I mean screaming and trying to run into the house. Derek literally had to pick me up and hold me back.”, she laughed.

“Em, I’m really sorry. And I’m sorry I made you wait outside, made you have to watch me run in there alone but I couldn’t risk it. I know I said I needed you by my side at all times earlier but I knew he was in there and that he wouldn’t get to you if you didn’t come in. I knew you were safer if you stayed outside.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said, rubbing his arm and flipping his grilled cheese.

“How’s your arm?”, he asked.

“It hurts a little but I’m fine.”, she said.

“Do we need to change the wraps on it?”, he asked.

“No, not yet.”, she said.

“I still have a few painkillers from my surgery if you need one.”, he said.

“Actually, yeah. I’ll take one.”, she said.

“I’ll go grab it.”, he said, rubbing her side before he stepped away and went to get her a pill.

He came back out and she handed him his grilled cheese, beginning to cook her own. He placed the pill on the counter and poured her a glass of water, giving it to her as she took it.

“This looks great, hun. Thank you.”, he said.

“Go sit down. I’ll be over in a minute.”, she said. He kissed her cheek and walked over to the table. 

When she finished cooking her grilled cheese, she grabbed a plate and sat down at the table next to Haley.

“So you’re gonna call him in a few?”, Emily asked. 

“Yeah. Is it weird that I’m nervous?”, Haley asked.

“No. That’s understandable.”, Emily said.

“Who?”, Hotch asked.

“Tom.”, Haley said.

“Oh, yeah. He’s asked about you _constantly_.”, Hotch said.

“ _Really?_ ”, Haley said with a sweet charm.

“ _Oh yeah_.”, Emily said.

“Oh my god, I need to call Jessica too.”, Haley said.

“Call Tom first because you can probably ask to talk to him more later and get off the phone quicker to call Jessica. I have a feeling that conversation might be a little longer.”, Emily said.

“You’re right.”, Haley said.

“Do you wanna have Jessica come over?”, Hotch asked.

“Seriously?”, Haley said.

“Yeah.”, Hotch said.

“Sure. I’ll ask her but she might be a bit hysterical at first.”, Haley laughed.

“Well, tell her if she wants to, she can come by.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she smiled.

“ _Of course._ ”, he said.

“Whoa, Jack. You scarfed that down, huh?”, Emily said. He smiled and nodded his head.

“What did I tell ya? Best grilled cheese ever, right?”, Hotch said.

“Mmhm.”, Jack nodded again.

Jack got up and ran over to his toys to play some more. Emily reached over for his plate across the table when her sleeve rolled up.

“Whoa, what happened to your arm?”, Haley asked.

“Huh? Oh, _that_. It’s nothing.”, Emily said.

“It’s _not_ nothing. She was chasing an unsub last night while we were in Portland for a case and they shot at her.”, Hotch said.

“Oh my god, you were shot?”, Haley asked.

“No. Not exactly. It was a _graze_ wound.”, she said.

“ _Emily_ ...”, Hotch sighed. “A bullet hit you. That’s not _nothing_.”

“Yeah, I’m with him on that one. Let me clear the plates. You should really rest your arm.”, Haley said, collecting them.

“Normally I would argue with you on that but it’s actually hurting a little right now. The painkiller hasn’t quite kicked in yet.”, Emily said.

“It’s no problem. The least I can do is clear the plates after everything you guys are doing for us.”, Haley said.

“Don’t mention it.”, Hotch said.

“Wait- Aaron, look at me.”, Emily said.

“What?”, he asked, following her eyes as she stood up and came over to him. She held his face and looked intently at it, all around.

“You didn’t put anything on your cuts after your shower.”, she said.

“I-“, he started.

“It’ll scar more if you don’t.”, she said, rubbing his face.

“Ah!”, he hissed.

“What? What is it?”, she asked.

“I don’t know, something just poked me or- I don’t know. It almost felt like a splinter but worse.”, he said.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom. “Sit.”, she said, pointing to the toilet. He sat down and waited while she grabbed her tweezers and leaned down, looking carefully at his forehead. “I need a flashlight.”

She grabbed her phone and turned the flashlight on on it. She examined his face again and finally found a tiny shard of glass stuck in one of his cuts.

“Did you find it?”, he asked.

“Uh huh. Just stay still.”, she said.

She carefully moved the tweezers closer to the glass until they grabbed ahold of it and slowly pulled it out.

“Ahh. That’s tiny. Hurt like a bitch though...”, he said.

“This is why you let me help clean you up.”, she said. She threw it away and cleaned her tweezers, setting them back down and grabbing some ointment and q-tips. She knelt down and applied it on his cuts. “Ooookaaaayyyy... that looks better.”, she said, finishing up and standing. She threw away the trash and put the ointment back in the medicine cabinet before walking back out to the living room with him.

“Where’s Jack?”, Hotch asked.

“He’s in his room, changing into pajamas. I think he’s getting tired. Definitely past his nap time.”, Haley said.

“You know what, we’ve only gotten a couple hours or so of sleep in the past almost 48 hours ish. Why don’t you go ahead and call Tom and Jessica out here or in Jack’s room and we’ll put him down for a nap in our bed. We could definitely use one as well. He loves cuddle time and naps with us and we haven’t had one with him in a while.”, Hotch said.

“That’d be great.”, Haley said.

Soon enough, Jack came out of his room, yawning and rubbing his eyes, in his pajamas. Hotch walked over and picked him up. 

“You sleepy, buddy?”, he asked. 

Jack nodded his head before letting it fall over Hotch’s shoulder. 

“Wanna take a nap with us?”, Emily asked him, rubbing his back.

“Yeah.”, he said quietly. 

“Okay, come on.”, Hotch said. He looked back at Haley. “I wasn’t going to set an alarm clock but if you need anything, just come wake us up.”

“Alright. I might take a nap too or just rest after I’m off the phone with them.”, she said.

“Whatever you need and make yourself at home. Grab anything from the fridge or cabinet. There’s the closet if you need more blankets. You know how to work the t.v., whatever.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she smiled.

“Yeah. Oh and tell Tom we say _hi_ and invite him and or Jessica over here if you want. Even today.”, he said.

“Got it.”, she said.

“Alright, we’ll be up later.”, he said, walking into their room and closing the door behind them. “Ahhh alright buddy.”, he laid Jack down on the bed and had him roll into the middle while him and Emily got in and helped the covers over all three of them. 

Jack curled up to Emily and nuzzled into her. She rubbed his back and kissed his head. 

“I missed you.”, Jack said.

“I missed you too, sweetie. We both did.”, she said.

Hotch moved closer to them and ran his hand up and down her arm, smiling at her when she looked at him. 

“I love you.”, he mouthed once he could tell Jack was asleep.

“I love you too.”, she mouthed. 

He scooted even closer and leaned in for a kiss with her before carefully placing one on Jack’s head. Almost instantly after that, they finally passed out.

  
  



	84. A Nice Break

**Chapter 84**

  
  
  


**fair warning:** **_heavy_ ** **smut included in this chapter**

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Emily and Hotch had taken the rest of the week off of work. They were nervous that Strauss may be hesitant about  _ Emily _ staying home as well but she was, to their surprise, quite understanding. She even gave them an extra week off, encouraging them to spend time with Haley and Jack.

JJ and Jessica had both come by everyday so far to check on everyone and spend some time with Haley and Emily. They’d begun forming a friend group, just the four of them. 

JJ brought Henry with her a couple times and let Jack, who was more than willing to, play with him. Although he was older, it seemed to Emily and Hotch that he enjoyed acting like the big brother figure. All they could think about when they saw Jack with him was how he’d be with his own little brother or sister. 

While they were finishing up packing everything from Jack and Haley’s place, they continued to stay with Emily and Hotch. They were having movie night almost every night instead of just Saturday’s. But a few times, JJ and Jessica stayed later to have some wine and hangout. On those nights, Hotch took Jack out for ice cream or to the planetarium or sometimes to an old fashioned arcade nearby. He didn’t understand some of the games at first but Hotch taught him. He enjoyed getting to spend quality time with him everyday and was starting to see what it would be like when he decides to leave the BAU. He knew that wouldn’t happen until they had a baby but in the meantime he loved the moments he was having.

Haley had gone over to Tom’s house and had him over to Hotch and Emily’s place a few times but with his work being so busy, they didn’t get to see each other as much as everyone else. However, they talked on the phone every night.

Hotch wasn’t sleeping well. He’d had a few nightmares but tried not to wake Emily any time he did. He didn’t want her or Haley to lose any sleep. The only time he could get back to sleep somewhat easily was when Jack was in their bed. He took turns every night with which bed he slept in. One night he’d be in his own bed with Haley on the blow up mattress right beside him. The next night he’d be in bed with Emily and Hotch. It made everyone feel happier and safer. 

The next Saturday, it had been a week since they had come back and Foyet was dead. Everyone was sleeping except for Jack who woke up early that morning. He’d slept in bed with Emily and Hotch that night and couldn’t go back to sleep so he woke her up.

“Emmy...”, Jack whispered. He waited for a minute but she was still asleep. “Emmy.”, he said a bit louder.

“Mmmm.”, she grumbled, trying to open her eyes. “Hey, sweetie.”, she smiled.

“I’m hungry.”, he whispered.

“Oh, you are, huh? Well, what do you want?”, she asked.

“Pancakes.”, he said.

“It’s always pancakes with you.”, she quietly laughed and he nodded his head. “Alright. Come on.”, she whispered, getting out of bed and picking him up. She looked back at Hotch fast asleep and carefully opened the bedroom door, closing it behind her once they were out.

Jack ran over to the couch and grabbed the remote, turning on the tv and climbed up, sitting down.

“ _ Hey _ . I thought you might want to help me make them.”, Emily said.

“I wanna watch Spongebob.”, he said, bouncing on the cushions.

“Alright, fine. Not too loud. We don’t wanna wake your mommy and daddy.”, she said, walking to the kitchen.

She pulled out some mixing bowls, a pan, some measuring cups, a spatula, and all the ingredients needed to make the pancakes along with an apron she put on. She decided to make some eggs as well, knowing that Haley and Hotch would be up soon. While she was in the fridge, she grabbed some bacon as well and started cooking it all. 

Only a few minutes later, Jack walked over to her and stood by her side.

“I thought you were watching tv.”, she said.

“It ended.”, he said.

“Oh. Well, did you wanna help me cook? I’m also making  _ bacon and eggs! _ ”, she said.

As soon as his face lit up, she knew what his answer was. He ran to the bathroom to wash his hands and grabbed his little step stool, bringing it back out to the kitchen. He set it down and she handed him his own mini apron and started helping her mix the flour. 

“What do you say we take a bath after this? You didn’t take one last night and you’re getting flour all over you.”, she giggled.

“Can we go to the park first?”, he asked.

“Hmmm. Let’s ask your mommy and daddy when they wake up.”, she said.

“Can we add chocolate chips?”, he asked.

“Why not something healthier like... oooo!  _ Banana pancakes! _ ”, she said, searching for bananas. “Actually, we’re all out... Fine. We’ll do chocolate chips.”

“Yay!”, he almost shouted.

“Shhh. We don’t want to wake them up yet.”, she said.

He held his hand out once she grabbed the bag of chocolate chips and she knew what he wanted. She looked back at the bedrooms to make sure no one was watching. She turned back to Jack and poured a tiny handful of chocolate chips in his hand. He threw them all in his mouth at once.

“Alright, now go ahead and pour the rest in.”, she said, handing him the bag. He dumped the rest of the bag in the pancake batter but saved a few. 

After showing him how to crack an egg right so there wouldn’t be any pieces of the shell stuck in it, she had him pour the batter on the pan. On one of them, he grabbed the few chocolate chips he saved and placed them on top of the pancake in the pan, into the form of a smiley face. Once it was done cooking, she grabbed his plate and picked the pancake up to serve it on it before he stopped her.

“That one is for mommy.”, he said.

“Aww. That’s so sweet.”, she smiled at him and grabbed another plate for it.

They finally finished cooking everything and served it all onto plates. He helped her set the table and she put on a pot of coffee. 

“Wanna go wake her up now?”, she asked motioning towards his room. He nodded and grabbed her plate, running to his room. 

Emily picked up Hotch’s plate with the whole meal on it and walked into their own room and closed the door. She went over to his side of the bed and sat down. She rubbed his arm and leaned over to kiss his head. After a second, he opened his eyes.

“Mmm good morning, beautiful.”, he smiled.

“ _ Good morning _ , handsome.”, she smiled back and gave him a kiss. “Jack and I made breakfast if you’d like to come join us.”, she said.

“Ooo, you did?”, he said.

“Yeah, it’s chocolate chip pancakes and eggs and bacon.”, she said, picking up a piece and took a bite. “Mmm...  _ delicious _ .”, she said, holding up the piece for him to take a bite.

“I’m more in the mood for something  _ else _ quite delicious.”, he said, grabbing the plate and setting it down on his nightstand.

“Oh, Aaron no, we-.”, she said, raising her eyebrows before he grabbed her, pulling her down and rolling on top of her. “ _ Aaron _ .”, she giggled.

He smirked at her, bringing his lips down to hers as she held his face. “Mmm. I was right. Much more delicious.”, he said.

“You haven’t even had a bite of the bacon yet.”, she said.

“I don’t need to to know you taste better than anything.”, he said, kissing her again. He started moving on top of her and kissing her neck, groaning in her ear. “How about next time, you cook me breakfast when we’re alone. But... only if you come wake me up wearing this. And  _ only _ this.”, he smirked again and hooked his finger in the tie on the apron.

“I think I can do that.”, she said, bringing his face down until their lips met again.

“Ughh.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked and then felt it. “Oh.”

“It’s been a week and I just- I want you so bad right now.”, he said, moving on her hard.

“That’s only gonna make it- mmm-“, she grabbed onto his hair and bit her lip. “Worse.”, she breathed.

“It doesn’t  _ feel _ worse.”, he groaned.

“Babe.”, she said.

“Yeah... I know.”, he sighed and stopped grinding on her. “ _ Fuck _ .”, he looked down.

“Hey.”, she said, lifting his head to look at her. “It’s fine. Just take a minute.”, she whispered, rubbing the back of his neck. “What do you need to...  _ calm down? _ ”

“Well, definitely for you to stop touching me because that is  _ not _ making it go away.”, he laughed.

“Sorry.”, she smiled shy and took her hands off of him before he rolled out of bed. “I shouldn’t have-“

“No, I woke up with it.”, he said.

“Oh. I’m sorry we can’t right now. I  _ really _ want to.”, she said.

“I know, I know.”, he sighed.

“Do you need a minute?”, she asked.

“I’m just gonna splash some cold water on my face. I’ll be out in a second.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said and took his plate out with her.

She walked over to the table where Jack and Haley were sitting and set Hotch’s plate down.

“Morning. Is he coming out?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah, he’s just waking up and going to the bathroom. He’ll be right out.”, Emily said. 

Haley nodded and turned to Jack. “This looks so yummy! You really made all of it?”, Haley asked. Jack nodded. “All by yourself and  _ everything?! _ ”

“Emmy helped.”, Jack said, causing her and Haley both to laugh.

“Yeah, he uh... he did most of the work.”, Emily said and winked at him. 

“I’ve gotta say, the little apron is adorable on him. When did you get that?”, Haley asked.

“After his last birthday. He enjoyed helping us with the cupcakes so much, we thought he might want to do more fun things like that.”, Emily said, walking into the kitchen and putting her own apron away.

“Good morning.”, Hotch said, walking out of the bedroom. He walked over to Emily in the kitchen and gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

“Are you all better?”, she whispered.

“Mainly.”, he said. “Do we have syrup at the table?”

“Oh, I forgot.”, she said, reaching for the fridge door but he beat her to it and grabbed the bottle from inside.

“Daddy! I made breakfast!”, Jack said.

“You  _ did? _ ”, Hotch said, going over to him and giving him a kiss on the head and Emily following behind, both sitting down. 

“Indeed, he did. Looks like there may be a third master chef Hotchner.”, Haley laughed.

“I think Uncle Sean would be very impressed, Jack.”, Hotch said after he took a bite of his food.

“I miss him.”, Jack said.

“Maybe we can call him later and see if he wants to come out here and do something this week.”, Hotch said, passing the syrup to Emily. 

“That sounds like fun.”, Emily said.

“You guys really don’t have to take off next week to be with us. It’s been a week by now. I’m sure you’re needed at work.”, Haley said.

“Strauss suggested it but I was gonna ask for it anyway. She encouraged us both to take this next week off to be with you. We  _ want _ to and we  _ missed _ you.”, Hotch said.

“We missed you guys too, of course. Tom called last night and asked if Jack and I wanted to spend the night over there tonight.”, Haley said.

“No! I wanna stay here!”, Jack said.

“Well, sweetie, daddy and Emily might want a break tonight.”, Haley said.

“No!”, Jack pouted. He got up and ran over to Hotch, climbing up into his lap.

“It’s fine. Really. I’d love to keep him. Besides, you probably want some alone time with Tom. You haven’t even gotten to talk to him alone in person yet. Just go over there tonight and we’ve got Jack.”, Hotch said.

“ _ Really? _ ”, Haley asked.

“ _ Yeah, of course _ .”, Emily said.

“Okay. I’ll let him know.”, Haley said.

“Great! Sound good, buddy?”, Hotch asked Jack. He nodded his head and bounced up and down on his lap. “Alright, go back to your seat and finish your breakfast.” Jack hopped off and ran back to his seat.

“Hey, Jack, how about we go to the planetarium again tonight? Maybe see a show there? Go get ice cream afterwards?”, Emily suggested.

“Yeah!”, he said.

“That okay?”, she looked at Hotch.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.”, he smiled.

“Seriously, you guys have done so much this past week. Are you  _ sure _ you don’t wanna go back to work this week?”, Haley asked.

“Even if we wanted to, which we don’t, Strauss told us we should take the week off, like I told you. Just enjoy the time we’re getting right now.”, Hotch said.

“Oh, maybe we could give Kayla a call and see if Sophia wants to have a play date this week at all.”, Emily said.

“Oh  _ yeah _ . Jack, would you like that?”, Hotch asked.

“Can we see her dog?!”, Jack asked.

“We’ll have to ask. But I’m sure we could.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“Hey, we still on for the park today?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah. I told Jack to ask you guys if he should take a bath  _ before _ or  _ after _ the park. He didn’t take one last night and got a little dirty when we were cooking.”, Emily said.

“How about before so you’re fresh and clean for the day and then one before bed tonight?”, Hotch said.

“Fine.”, Jack said quietly.

“I’ll give you a bath. We can play with the battleships.”, Haley said and Jack’s face lit up a bit.

“We should bring the new kite you got for your birthday to the park!”, Emily said.

“Yeah!”, Jack said.

“ _ Or _ we could bring the new bike.”, Hotch said.

“We’d have to go get that from the storage space though.”, Haley said.

“True. Alright, just the kite today then. Speaking of storage space... what if you took a few things out and kept them here for a while.”, Hotch said.

“Why? What do you mean?”, Haley asked.

“What if you guys stayed here a little longer until things were a bit more stable and you look for a place.”, Hotch said.

“Emily was actually talking about that last week. But... I can’t do that to you guys.”, Haley said.

“Wha- come on. We’re family and we just went through something really intense. It’s important to be together and it’s been really nice the past week, having us all here. You decided to sell the house. You have to look for a new place. Just stay here in the meantime.”, Hotch said.

“I really appreciate it but I can’t do that. Besides... Tom and I were... talking about moving in together before everything happened and now tonight he said he had something he wanted to talk about. My guess is that it’s about that. We have another place to stay. It’s smaller here and it’s your guys’ space. You don’t need us taking up more of it and your time.”, Haley said.

“You think Tom is going to ask you to move in with him?”, Hotch asked.

“Probably.”, Haley said.

“Oh. Well, that would be really good. I think. Right? That’d be good? That’s a good thing?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, I think so. Obviously nothing would change for you with Jack. He’d still be here on the weekends.”, Haley said.

“Okay.”, he nodded. “Well, you’re welcome to stay however long you guys want or need then.”, Hotch said.

“Thank you.”, Haley smiled. “Boy, I am  _ stuffed _ .”

“Me too.”, Emily said, standing up and clearing the plates. “Jack, are you done?”

“Uh huh.”, he nodded and ran to his room.

“Hey, we’re taking a bath, remember?”, Haley called to him. “Thank you. And for breakfast.”

“Jack honestly did a lot of it.”, Emily chuckled.

“Still. And thank you for cooking with him. He really loves it.”, Haley said.

“I enjoy it. And he’s really good like for a 4 year old, it’s crazy. He’s really smart and very gifted.”, Emily said, bringing the dishes to the sink.

“I have a feeling he’s gonna wanna grow up to be just like Aaron. Join the FBI, be a badass.”, Haley laughed.

“It sure is an exciting life.”, Emily said.

“I could totally see him doing that.”, Hotch said.

“The gun part scares me.”, Haley said.

“Yeah, me too. But when he’s older, I’m gonna take him to the shooting range and teach him the safety of using a firearm so he knows early on just how serious they are.”, Hotch said.

“Oh god. I don’t even want to talk about that yet.“, Haley laughed and walked to Jack’s room.

“I’ll finish the dishes once they’re done soaking.”, Emily said, walking to their bedroom with Hotch, closing and locking the door behind them. She took her shirt off and dropped her shorts to the ground. “I’m gonna take a shower. Did you wanna join me?”

“Definitely but um... no. No, you go ahead.”, he said, looking away from her.

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“Em, please. Go get in the shower. It’s hard to not look at you naked and that’s the last thing that I need right now.”, he chuckled.

“Sorry.”, she giggled, walking into the bathroom and starting the water.

In that moment, Hotch wanted more than anything to hop in with her but knew they couldn’t do what he was desiring the most. 

He cursed at himself when he could feel it again. And it didn’t make things any better when she walked out of the bathroom, still wet from the shower. 

“Shower’s all yours.”, she said.

He finished up sending a text to JJ about work when he noticed Emily starting to take her towel off.

“No, no! Don’t do that. Just wait till I’m in the bathroom.”, he said.

“Aaron, you see me naked everyday.”, she said.

“Yeah but I’ve got all this- there’s just stuff built up right now more than usual for some reason and seriously, looking at you even with a towel covering but dripping wet is...”, he shook his head.

“Alright, alright. I’ll keep the towel on till you get in there.”, she laughed.

“Thank you.”, he said, getting up and walking into the bathroom.

He turned the shower on and got undressed, contemplating what to do about his  _ situation _ . He got in and rinsed his face off. He could feel it building even more and couldn’t help it. He brought his hand down and started stroking himself. He hadn’t gone solo for a while since Emily was always there but this time, he was desperate and didn’t want to have to ask her.

Back in their bedroom, Emily sat on the edge of the bed and checked her phone. She reached next to her to grab her comb but realized it wasn’t there. She stood up and walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. 

“Honey, I left my comb in there. Can I come in real quick?”, she asked. She waited for a response but he was too lost in his own world and fantasy he was focusing on in the moment. “Aaron?”, she knocked again. She felt for the door knob and it was unlocked. She opened it without trying to be quiet, hopefully that way he could hear her coming in.

She closed the door to make sure cold air didn’t come in. As she walked over to the cabinet, she suddenly heard him breathing heavy. She turned around but couldn’t make out much since the shower doors weren’t completely see through, only translucent. 

Right as she was about to turn back, she heard him let out a quiet groan. She watched his one arm moving and knew what he was doing. She couldn’t help but let a smile pass her face and stepped over to the shower, dropping her towel. She cleared her throat loudly and knocked on the shower door which startled him at first.

“What the hell!”, he almost jumped. She opened the door to find him starting to face her. She stepped in and closed the door. “Em-“

“Can I help you out there?”, she smirked, stepping closer to him.

“That’s not-“, he started before she cut him off by gently placing her lips on his. “Em, we can’t right now.”

“I’m just here to help  _ you _ out. You already got started without me.”, she said, dropping to her knees.

“Wait, could you-“, he started.

“ _ Hear you?  _ Yes. And now I  _ want _ you.”, she smirked.

“That turns you on?”, he chuckled.

“Are you gonna let me help you out or not? I want you... in my mouth...  _ now _ .”, she said, grabbing him, already hard as rock, in her hand and licked his tip, dripping with pre come, while staring up at him. 

He looked down at her and stopped for a moment when he twitched in her hand. She waited for him to speak before she did anything else. He finally nodded, speechless, and let her continue. 

She stroked him a few times before she brought her tongue to the base and licked him all the way up to the tip. She clamped her mouth down on his head and swirled her tongue around it before sliding it down more. 

“Ah Jesus.”, he said.

She started moving her head up and down while pumping his shaft. She brought her free hand to his leg to hold on. She started out slow but after a little, she went a little faster. 

He began moving his hips back and forth slightly, going with her pace. He started thrusting into her mouth. He stopped for a moment and watched her take control again. Looking down at her taking him so far in her mouth but not deep enough for him. He needed more.

He wrapped his fingers in her hair, tangling them around and grasped tight. He clenched his jaw and she finally looked back up at him and batted her eyes. He almost swore he saw her start to smile. 

When she started moaning, the vibrations he felt from it, became too much for him. Almost immediately, he started pushing her down on his length more. She took all of him in her mouth when he started pulling her down harder and faster.

“Fuck, babe.”, he groaned and threw his head back as he grasped her hair even tighter. She took her hand on his leg and ran it up and down his abs. “Ahhh yeah.”

“Mmmm.”, she moaned, sending more vibrations along his length, sending him into a frenzy.

“Oh fuck, yes, babe.”, he said as he started thrusting his hips into her mouth again while  _ also _ pulling her mouth down, harder and faster again. He was shocked when he didn’t hear her gagging. “You like this, huh?”, he panted, grinning at her when he looked down and biting his lip.

She tried to nod her head and he could tell but it was hard to when she was moving the way she was. “Yeah, I know you do. I know you love this.”, he growled, increasing his force. She finally hollowed her cheeks and gave in to whatever he wanted her mouth to do. “Oh god. Your mouth is so perfect, babe. Look at me.”, he growled again. She brought her eyes up to him and his jaw dropped. He went even further and started hitting the back of her throat. “Ah I’d fuck you so hard if I could right now. So fucking hard, babe. So  _ fucking hard _ . Argh. I know you want me buried deep inside you right now. I wanna fill you up and- ah  _ fuck _ . You like it when I fuck your mouth though, huh?”, he grunted.

She moaned again and as soon as he felt it, he knew what was coming. He slammed into her and pulled her onto him a few more times harder than before and finally pulled her off.

She was breathing heavy but with a huge grin on her face, seeing how good she made him feel and couldn’t help but think how hot it was when he lost all control, physically and verbally, doing what he did and how he spoke like that. It drove her crazy and she could feel how wet she was and wished they could do what he had just said.

Instead though, she stayed on her knees, staring up at him and he started pumping himself furiously. 

“Open your mouth.”, he ordered and pulled her head back with his free hand in her hair he kept holding onto tight and didn’t let go of.

She gladly obliged and opened her mouth as wide as she could, waiting for him. He directed his tip at her mouth, still going crazy.

“Ahh look at you. You’re so fucking perfect. So desperate for- ahh  _ shhhiiitt _ .”, he said through his teeth. “Ahh ahh fuck, babe. I’m about to come. You’re gonna take it all? Are you gonna take it all?”, he hissed.

“Yes.”, she nodded and opened her mouth wide again.

“Good. So fucking good.”, he panted as he felt himself even closer, right about to tumble over the edge. “Oh god! Ahhh! Fuck, I’m coming! Ahhh yessss. Take it all, babe. Yesss. Fuck, you’re so hot when you take all my come in your mouth. You fucking love this, don’t you? Fuck, babe. Yesss. I wanna fuck you so hard till you scream my name. I wanna make you come all over my cock, babe. Fuck. Take all my come, babe. Yeah, just like that. Swallow it all. Fuck, you’re so good.”, he exclaimed as quietly as he could since other people were in the apartment. He released everything into her mouth, throwing his head back, and shutting his eyes tight. He kept stroking himself until he was done. He brought his head back down and watched her swallow it all, still amazed that she actually did since no one else ever had before her.

He helped her stand up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her around her torso and she leaned in for a kiss, putting her hand on the back of his head and rubbing it.

“Em, that was-“, he started.

“ _ Hot _ .”, she whispered with a devilish grin.

“I was gonna say intense. Wild. Wow. But yeah, that too.”, he said.

“I  _ love _ that wild side of you, Aaron.”, she said.

“It wasn’t too much?”, he asked.

“ _ No. Not at all. _ ”, she giggled, leaning in for another kiss.

“Okay, you’d tell me if-“, he started.

“Honey, I’ll always tell you if I’m not comfortable with something. You know that. We’ve talked about that. But just now...  _ wow _ .”, she smiled, bringing her lips to his slowly as he allowed a smile on his own face. 

“Good.”, he said. He paused, staring in her eyes before he closed them and let out a deep breath. “Ughhh.”, he sighed.

“Again?”, she giggled.

“You’re naked and wet and that was really hot what we just did, like you said and- ugh it’s been a week and-“, he said.

“I’m not just wet from the shower.”, she whispered in his ear.

“That’s not helping.”, he said.

“You know... Jack takes a little longer in the bath when he’s playing with the battleships... I think we probably have another 10-15 minutes left before they’re out.”, she said.

“What are you suggesting?”, Hotch raised his eyebrows.

“I’m  _ suggesting _ you actually  _ do _ fuck me now.”, she smirked.

“Em... I can’t-“, he started.

“We can be quiet and they can’t hear us all the way from there.”, she said.

“I don’t know...”, he said.

“I do. We’re fine. Real quick.”, she said.

“I guess.”, he said.

“Well that’s not really fun. You _ guess? _ ”, she said.

“ _ Fine. Yes. I’m sorry _ .”, he laughed. “Turn around.”

She quickly turned around and pressed her hands to the shower wall to steady herself before he slid in.

“Mmmm.”, she whimpered.

“Fuck.”, he breathed. And before she knew it, he started moving his hips against hers, holding on to her waist. Meeting each other, thrust for thrust.

“Oh god.”, she said quietly.

“I wanna smack that perfect ass of yours, babe.”, he growled in her ear as he leaned forward and kissed her neck, rubbing her ass, so tempted.

“Me too.”, she said.

“I  _ will _ . I’ll get you  _ good _ later.”, he said.

“ _ Please _ .”, she said.

“For now though...”, he said before gripping her waist even more and going as hard as he could without being too loud. 

“Right there, right there.”, she panted.

“Honey, I can feel you holding on and I’m so close. Just let go.”, he whispered.

“Ooooo, Aaron. Put your hand over my mouth, I’m about to-“, she started but he did what she asked before she could finish speaking. Right after, she cried out and moved her hips back against him as much as she could, riding out her high, taking him with her.

“Ahh goddammit, Em. That better be it for today, I swear.”, he chuckled and took his hand off her mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so good.”, she sighed.

He leaned over her and kissed her shoulder. “So are you, hun.  _ Jesus _ . You have no idea.”, he said, pulling out of her and helping her stand up straight.

“Have I told you today yet how much I love you?”, she asked, turning around to face him.

“No but I know it. And I have a secret.”, he said.

“What’s that?”, she asked, knowing what it was.

He held her closer and whispered in her ear. “I love you too.”, he said.

“Oh my god, really?”, she said.

“Cross my heart, hope to die.”, he said.

“Wow. I can’t believe it!”, she said and pulled his face close to hers until their lips met.

“I know.”, he said.

“What a relief.”, she said.

He smiled at her and kissed her cheek. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer earlier. Care to join me? You know, to  _ actually _ shower now.”, he laughed.

“Absolutely.”, she said.

He took her hands and brought her closer to the water where he slicked back her hair and held her face with both hands. He looked in her eyes and smiled so soft and genuine, she couldn’t help but return it and hold his arms.

“You always gaze at me like that.”, she said.

“I just love you so much. It’s hard not to get lost in your eyes and admire every beautiful aspect of you.”, he said.

“Your eyes are dreamier than mine. Yours actually have color.”, she said.

“Honey, I’m  _ mesmerized _ by you and your eyes.”, he said.

“I hope our kid gets yours.”, she said.

“She’ll have beautiful eyes regardless of whose she gets.”, he said.

“I’m kind of... excited more. Excited about doing that...”, she smiled shy and looked down.

“So am I.”, he said.

“But...”, she said.

“What?”, he asked, stroking her face.

“Nothing. It’s stupid.”, she laughed, still looking down.

“Sweetie, what is it?”, he asked, trying to meet her eyes.

“What if I’m a bad mom?”, she asked, looking up at him finally, with sad eyes.

“Ohhh,  _ honey. No _ . You are  _ not _ going to be a bad mom. You’ll be  _ amazing _ . You’ll be an  _ amazing _ mother. Why would you think that?”, he asked.

“What if I end up being like  _ my _ mom?”, she asked.

“You won’t. That’s something that’s important to you and I know how much you care about it. You’ll make sure you’re in our child’s life. I know you won’t prioritize your job over her. You’re gonna be  _ great _ .”, he said.

“I just feel like I’m gonna fail and that I’m not mother material.”, she said.

“You want to do this, right?”, he asked.

“Yes. Of course. And with  _ you _ . I’ve never wanted anything like this before and never pictured it with anyone else. I want a family with you more than anything.”, she said.

He smiled big and gave her a kiss. “I want that  _ too _ . Now, we both want it, we’re both good with kids obviously and you’re already helping to raise a child with me... We’re going to love our baby more than anything in the world just as much as Jack of course but you know what I mean. You are many things and you will become many things throughout the years but a bad mother is not one of them. If I believed you would be, I wouldn’t want to have a kid with you. I love you so much, hun... we’re gonna be alright. We’re gonna be great parents. We already are.”, he said.

“I know... you’re right.”, she nodded.

“Honey, look at me.”, he said, bringing her chin up. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah. I did.”, she said.

“Do you trust me?”, he asked.

“With my life. You know that.”, she said.

“ _ So _ ... believe me when I tell you... we’ll do great. You’ll do great. We are going to have a beautiful, healthy baby. She is going to have amazing parents who love her more than anything else, grow up smart, and talented, and once again... loved. Em, if you wanted to have a baby right now, I’d be all for it. I think we could do it. No. I  _ know _ we could. I know you said recently that you’ve been thinking about it more and we’ve talked about it more.  _ A lot _ . And I know that you said you wanted to wait until things were more stable especially because Haley and Jack were gone then but they’re back now. Things are getting back to good now. Maybe we don’t have to wait that long...”, he said.

“Aaron... things aren’t completely stable yet. And... I know last time you said it didn’t matter if we were married or not, which I still think is true but that was an accident. If we’re _planning_ _this_ , don’t you think maybe we _should be_ married first? Maybe it would be easier, be better.”, she asked.

“You really want to wait until we’re married to have a kid?”, he asked.

“I don’t know...”, she said.

“I thought we both-“, he started.

“Can we just finish showering first?”, she asked, grabbing a bottle of shampoo.

He stayed silent and she scrubbed shampoo in his hair, massaging his head. After that, she put in the conditioner and he squeezed out some body wash from a bottle and started applying it to her back. He started rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck. 

“I’m sorry if I pushed you right now.”, he said.

“Can we please just talk about it when we’re out?”, she asked

“Yeah...”, he said, finishing soaping her off.

Once they were done, they got out and dried off, walking back into their room and changed. Once they were in some jeans and t-shirts, he took her hands and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I wanna talk about this.”, he said.

“I know. Me too.”, she said.

“So... do you want to wait... until we’re married?”, he asked.

“I don’t know... I mean it would make sense if we did.”, she said.

“I just thought you were thinking about it more recently. That’s what you said last week.”, he said.

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it make more sense if we’re married first?”, she asked.

“Maybe traditionally but I don’t think you need to be married to have a baby.”, he said.

“Neither do  _ I _ . I just- I don’t know.... It doesn’t matter if we are. But if we’re planning on having one, wouldn’t it just make more sense to wait?”, she asked.

“Do you wanna have a baby?”, he asked quietly.

“ _ What? _ ”, she asked.

“Do you  _ actually _ wanna have a baby? Or... with  _ me _ at least?”, he asked quiet.

“ _ Aaron, honey _ .”, she said, touching his face. “I want nothing more than that.  _ Honestly _ . I  _ promise _ . I want a baby with you. And  _ only _ you.  _ Trust me.  _ And... if I were to get pregnant  _ now _ ... I’d want to keep it.”, she softly smiled and stroked his face. “But that doesn’t mean I want to  _ try _ right now.”, she said.

“But if you’d be okay with it happening now then why not  _ try _ now?”, he asked.

“Remember how when I was trying to get you to tell people about us and you said it just wasn’t the time?”, she asked.

“Well, yeah but there was something holding me back.”, he said. He stopped and stared at her silent. “Is there something holding you back?”

“I just don’t think it’s  _ time _ right now.”, she said.

“Why not?”, he asked.

“I don’t know. But please don’t go out and buy a ring and propose to me tomorrow just because of that or just because you think I want to wait to have a kid until we’re married. Alright? I don’t want to get engaged or married because of that. That’s not how or why I want it to happen.”, she said.

“I would never do that. That’s why I’m willing to have a kid before we get married. Not  _ willing. Wanting _ . I’m ready. We can do this.”, he said with a big smile and squeezed her hands tighter.

“I love you  _ so much. _ And I might even feel ready too but I don’t know if I wanna say that I’m completely sure because then I know you’ll get too excited and I have to tell you that it’s just  _ not the right time _ . Whether I’m ready or not, it’s  _ not the right time right now _ . Things need to be more stable in  _ all _ of our lives.”, she said.

“So where does that leave you with the whole marriage thing?”, he asked.

“No. I guess I don’t feel like we need to wait until we’re married to try. It’s not like we’re in our 20’s anymore and we certainly haven’t done everything else in a traditional order but I think we should wait a little more and if we happen to be engaged or married by then, then great and if not, that’s still great. Just not today. Is there a reason you want to so badly right now?”, she asked.

“I’m just ready to get my life started with you.”, he said.

“We already have our life started together.”, she said.

“I know but it’s just a different kind, you know. It’s like- well, with- I don’t know how to explain...”, he said.

“I know what you mean. I  _ know _ you.”, she said, kissing his cheek. “Aaron, you’re the love of my life. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m still young. We don’t have to rush this right now. I want to have a baby with you. And we will. Soon enough but let’s not rush it right now, okay?”, she said.

He nodded and softly smiled, obviously still somewhat disappointed but understanding. “Okay.”, he said.

“ _ Okay _ .”, she smiled back and gave him a kiss. “I  _ love you _ .”

“I love you too, babe.”, he said, giving her a kiss back.

“Come on, _ smile! _ ”, she said.

“I’m  _ trying _ .”, he said.

“No, you’re not.”, she said.

“Can you just give me a minute?”, he asked.

“Nope. Sorry.”, she said.

“Em. Really. I just need a minute alone.”, he said.

“No. Because you’re upset and instead of sulking about something that  _ will _ happen, you need to get up and go to the park with us and teach Jack how to fly a kite.”, she said.

“Emily...”, he said.

“Oh, I know how to make you laugh.”, she said.

“Don’t tickle me, please.”, he said.

“I never learned to fly a kite... You have to teach me too.”, she said and he started laughing.

“Okay, you’re right, that  _ did _ make me laugh.”, he said.

“Here’s the funniest part. I’m not joking.”, she said.

“ _ Seriously?  _ You’ve never flown a kite?”, he asked.

“Aaron. Have you  _ met _ my mother? Think she’d be the type to ever take the time to even  _ buy _ a kite, let alone teach me how to fly it. I never really went trick or treating, as you know. Are you that surprised?”, she asked.

“Did you learn how to ride a bike?”, he asked.

“Yes, of course I did!”, she shoved him and they both started laughing. 

“Okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”, he said.

“Well, let’s go. Teach  _ two _ people today.”, she said, taking his hand as they stood up. 

“Wait.”, he said, stopping.

“What?”, she asked, turning around.

He held her face and leaned in, bringing his lips to hers. “I love you. Thank you.”, he said.

“For what?”, she asked.

“For everything. For being honest with me about how you feel about all of this. And for actually wanting to have a family with me and stick by my side through everything.”, he said.

“You’re special and you take up a huge part of my heart.”, she said.

“Only  _ part? _ ”, he asked.

“The other parts are for Jack and Haley and JJ and our other friends. Don’t get so greedy.”, she said, tilting her forehead against his.

“But I want  _ all _ of you.”, he said, grabbing her waist.

“You  _ have _ me, sweetie. You’re also my best friend, okay? You have all of me.”, she settled, giving him a quick peck on the lips and then wrapping her arms over his shoulders and hugging him tight. “You have me.”, she whispered.

“You have  _ me _ .”, he whispered back.

“Hey, remember that little boy, around 4 years old, sandy blonde hair, adorable little nose and brown eyes. We promised we’d take him to the park? Remember him?”, she asked.

He rolled his eyes and pulled away, laughing as he took her hand and walked out the door. 

“I didn’t forget about my son.”, he said.

“Just checking.”, she said.

“Daddy! I’m all clean!”, Jack said, running up to him.

“And you’re dressed! Are you ready to go?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh huh.”, Jack nodded his head.

“Where’s your mommy?”, Hotch asked.

“In my room. Getting dressed.”, he said.

“Great. Do you wanna grab a snack to bring with us?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah.”, Jack said.

“Okay, what do you wanna bring?”, Hotch asked.

“Cookies...”, Jack said.

“No... we aren’t bringing cookies. How about some crackers and string cheese?”, Hotch said, walking into the kitchen to grab them.

“Fine.”, Jack sighed.

“We’ll go get an ice cream later.”, Hotch said.

“Okay...”, Jack pouted.

“Alright, I’m ready. Let’s go!”, Haley said, walking out of Jack’s room.

They grabbed some snacks and Jack’s new kite and headed out. They drove to the park and when they got there, they found a nice shady spot on the grass to set their things down.

They sat on the ground and put the kite together and right as Hotch finished, Jack grabbed it and started running away with it.

“Jack! That’s not how you fly it!”, Hotch called out, getting up and running after him. 

“How long do you think it’ll take for him to catch Jack?”, Emily asked.

“Oh, a good 2 or 3 minutes maybe. Jack’s little and fast.”, Haley laughed.

“Oh. Looks like he got him already.”, Emily said. 

“Daddy, put me down.”, Jack said, squirming in his arms. “Emmy!”, Jack ran over to Emily and grabbed her hand.

“You wanna go fly the kite?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah. Mommy, come.”, Jack said grabbing her hand as well and trying to drag them up.

They stood up and followed Jack and Hotch to a more open space. 

“Alright, buddy. You wrap this around your hand like that... and then pull right here and start running with it. When you feel it tug, undo some.”, Jack immediately took off with it and Haley pulled out her phone getting a video of it.

“Em, you wanna try next?”, he asked.

“You’ve never flown a kite before?!”, Haley asked.

“My mother wasn’t exactly the nurturing type. I didn’t do a lot of the things kids do when they’re kids.”, Emily laughed.

“Yeah, but you’re going to now.”, Hotch said.

Jack came running back after a few minutes and was out of breath. Haley gave him some water and crackers while Hotch took the kite and helped wrap the string around Emily’s hand.

“Aaron, this is embarrassing.”, she laughed.

“Come on, hun.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she said.

“Okay, hold it here and start running with it.”, he said.

“Are you serious?”, she said.

“Yes!”, he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Now, go!”

She held it out and started running with it until it was flying and then she stayed still for a moment before walking over to them and moving it around. She could stop laughing and smiling.

“It’s fun, huh?”, Haley said.

“It’s so weird. It just stays up there.”, Emily laughed. “Hey, Jack, why don’t you take a turn?”

He hopped off Haley’s lap and ran over to it. Emily carefully handed it off to him and walked back to Hotch a few feet away.

“So?”, he asked, putting his arm around her.

“It’s definitely fun.”, Emily said.

“You’re a natural.”, he said.

“Shut up.”, she whispered and shoved him playfully, giggling.

“Do you want any snacks?”, Haley asked.

“Oh, no thanks, I’m good.”, Emily said.

Later on, they heard someone playing the guitar while they all sat down in the grass.

“Aaron, do you still have that guitar at your cabin?”, Haley asked.

“Yeah, we went there actually a couple Thanksgiving’s ago. I should’ve brought it back with us.”, he said.

“Oh! I had no idea he could play! And then we’re eating dinner one night and he runs inside and grabs it and just starts playing  _ Wagon Wheel. _ I was  _ shocked _ .”, Emily said.

“Yeah, he’s pretty good. He almost never plays it though.”, Haley said.

“I’m not  _ that _ good.”, he said.

“Yes, you are! You should definitely bring it back next time you go up.”, Haley said.

“We’ll see.”, he said, glaring at them. “Hey, Jack. Can you eat a few grapes?”, Hotch handed Jack the bag of grapes they packed.

“No!”, Jack said, and grabbed a soccer ball, running away with it.

“Em?”, Hotch looked over at her.

“Go play with him. I’ll get him to eat some when he comes back over.”, she said.

He sighed and got up, running over to Jack. Haley and Emily chatted for a while as they watched Hotch and Jack kick the soccer ball back and forth. 

“Okay, so what’s your secret?”, Haley asked.

“My secret?”, Emily said.

“To get Jack to eat fruit.”, Haley said.

“Ohhh. Don’t tell Aaron. I said I’d tell you but not him yet. I need  _ something _ that I can do better than him.”, Emily laughed.

Hotch picked up Jack with one arm and hung him upside down, walking back over to the girls. Right as he approached them with Jack wiggling in his arm, Emily leaned over and whispered in Haley’s ear.

“Ohhh. Oh my god. That’s genius.”, Haley said. 

“What?”, Hotch said.

“Oh. Nothing.”, Haley said.

“What?”, he asked, looking over at Emily.

“Nothing.”, she said.

“Haley? What did she say?”, he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing. She just told me her secret for how she gets Jack to eat fruit.”, Haley said.

“Wha- Emily. Tell me.”, he said.

“Sorry. That’s classified information.”, she smiled.

“So not fair.”, he said.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, squirming around still.

“I’ll put you down when you tell me how Emily gets you to eat fruit.”, Hotch said.

“It’s secret!”, Jack giggled and Emily gave him a high five.

“Wow. Everyone, once again, has ganged up on me.”, Hotch said.

“I’ll tell you someday.”, Emily said.

“Uh huh...  _ sure _ ...”, Hotch said and rolled his eyes.

“Lemme try.”, Haley said and grabbed Jack. She whispered in his ear and held out a bag of grapes. When he took one, her jaw dropped and looked over at Emily.

“I told you.”, Emily said.

“But you won’t tell  _ me _ .”, Hotch said as he sat down next to her.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I still love you.”, Emily whispered and kissed his cheek, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Whatever.”, he said.

“Aaron! I love you.”, she giggled just quiet enough between them that Haley wouldn’t have to hear all of it.

“Mmhmm. I’m sure.”, he said.

“Cuddles later?”, she said, running her fingers down the back of his head.

“Maybe.”, he pouted.

“Aw poor baby.”, she said.

“Hey now.”, he said, looking back at her.

“Cuddles?”, she asked again.

“Fine.”, he sighed.

“Good.”, she smiled.

“You guys ready to go?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, I think I could use some rest. Maybe we can play a game when we get back. What do you think, Jack?”, Haley asked.

“Candy Land!”, Jack said, jumping up.

“I think that can be arranged.”, Emily said, picking him up while Haley and Hotch packed everything else up. They headed to the car and drove back to the apartment.

After taking their shoes off and washing their hands, they pulled out Candy Land and played a few rounds before putting Jack down for his nap. The rest of the day consisted of them just relaxing, watching tv, reading, playing some more with Jack when he woke up, and doing a couple chores.

Once dinner time rolled around, Haley took a shower and got changed. She walked out of Jack’s room, somewhat dressed up, surprising them.

“Whoa, look at you.”, Emily said.

“Is that a good thing?”, Haley laughed.

“Yes, yes! You look great.”, Emily said.

“Really? It’s not too much or too little? Tom decided to go out for dinner instead of cooking at the house since Jack is staying with you guys tonight.”, Haley said.

“You look lovely.”, Hotch said.

“Thanks.”, Haley smiled. “He said he has something he wants to talk about and I think it might be asking for me to move in again but I don’t know...”

“I thought you already said that’s a good thing if it is, right?”, Hotch asked.

“I think so, yeah.”, Haley said.

“Then don’t be nervous! I’m sure whatever it is, it’s something good.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. I know, I know.”, Haley sighed.

“Just go spend some time with him. You haven’t had any alone time with him for a while. You must have a lot to talk about. We’ve got it here. We have a fun night planned with Jack. Just go have fun.”, Hotch said.

“Okay. Okay, you’re right.”, she said and walked over to Jack. “Alright, sweetie, I’m gonna go now but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”, Jack said, sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the tv.

“Well, can I get a hug?”, Haley laughed. Jack immediately sprang up and jumped into her arms. “That’s more like it.”

“Okay, mommy.”, Jack said and lightly pushed her off, bouncing back on the cushions.

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t watch too much Spongebob tonight.”, Emily laughed.

“It’s alright. I’m sure he’s excited to go to the planetarium.”, Haley said.

“Alright, go on! Get outta here. Go see your man.”, Emily whispered to Haley, giggling with her, walking her to the door.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Just call me if you need anything or if Jack does or whatever at all.”, Haley said.

“We will. Have fun and tell him we say  _ hi _ .”, Hotch said.

“I will. Alright, have a goodnight and be safe!”, Haley said, stepping out the door.

“You too.”, Emily said, closing the door as Haley walked off. “So what do you wanna do about dinner?”, she asked, walking up to Hotch.

“Uhhh we could go grab some food while we’re out. Or we can make something here... although, I don’t know what we really have.”, he said.

“Hey Jack, what do you say we get some pizza?”, Emily said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”, Jack said, jumping up and down on the couch.

“Alright, well that was easy.”, Hotch said.

“Or do you want a burger?”, Emily asked.

“Pizza!”, Jack said.

“Okay, go grab your jacket and put on your shoes.”, Hotch said before Jack ran to his room.

“We better go do the same.”, Emily said, walking to their bedroom with Hotch.

“Don’t forget your jacket, hun.”, Hotch said.

“It’s March. It’s not cold out.”, she said.

“It gets cold inside at the planetarium.”, he said, handing her a jacket.

“Fine.”, she said, taking it.

When they finished putting on their shoes and jackets, they locked up and walked down to the car, driving to get pizza. When they got to the pizza place, they ordered one giant slice for each of them and sat down outside on a bench.

“How’s the pepperoni?”, Emily asked Jack.

“Good.”, he said, taking a big bite.

“You gonna be able to finish that whole slice? It’s bigger than your face.”, Emily giggled.

“Uh huh!”, Jack said.

“If you don’t, I’ll eat the rest.”, Hotch said.

“You better do some sit-ups when we get home. You haven’t worked out for a little. Don’t get  _ too _ lazy.”, Emily laughed.

“I’ve still got abs!”, he said.

“For  _ now _ .”, she said.

“Alright, you know what?”, Hotch said.

“Hm?”, she said.

“I challenge you tonight when we get back. Let’s see who can do more sit-ups.”, he said.

“Oh, you’re on.”, she said, holding her hand out and shaking his.

“Winner gets a back rub.”, he said.

“Deal.”, she said.

They finished eating their pizza and to their surprise, Jack ate his whole slice. They walked to the planetarium a few minutes away and went inside. They got tickets and went into one of the shows they had going and took a seat next to each other and looked up, watching all the constellations being presented. 

“I love this. It makes me think of the cabin. That night we went out on the boat and watched the shooting stars.”, Emily said.

“That was a beautiful night.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around her and ruffled Jack’s hair with his other hand. He gave her a kiss on the side of her head and rubbed her shoulder.

“It really was.”, she said, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Hey, Jack, buddy. Aren’t the stars cool?” He smiled and nodded his head a lot.

“Come here.”, Hotch said, taking his hand away from Emily and reaching over to grab Jack. He picked him up and set him on his lap. “You see that one?”, he pointed, “That’s The Big Dipper.”

“Is it your favorite?”, Jack asked.

“It  _ is _ . And it’s Emily’s favorite too.”, Hotch said.

“I like it.”, Jack said.

“Yeah, they’re- oh. It’s starting now.”, Hotch said and held onto Jack the whole time, pointing to where each thing was pointed at by the presenter and talked about. He was surprised at how well Jack was staying still and being patient the whole time, he almost

forgot how long it was.

When it was over, they stood up and walked out, over to some fun displays for kids. They watched while Jack played around with a couple other kids that were there.

“It’s so cute how little kids can just go up to one another and just start playing with each other. Total strangers and they get along right away.”, Hotch said.

“It’s so cute. Look at him.”, Emily laughed.

“This was a good idea tonight.”, he said.

“Yeah. We should do this more often. Maybe next weekend we can invite Sophia. I know we said maybe some time during this week but she might like this. They even have a laser show for kids next Saturday I think.”, she said.

“Yeah, let’s give Kayla a call tomorrow.”, he said.

“Speaking of her... are you gonna set her up with Carson already?”, she asked.

“ _ Em _ ...”, he said.

“ _ I’m just wondering _ .”, she said.

“She hasn’t flirted with me since that night at the bar.”, he said.

“I wasn’t saying she has.”, she said.

“Yes, you were.”, he said.

“I just don’t want her-“, she started.

“Who’s the jealous one  _ now? _ ”, he chuckled.

“Shut up.”, she said.

“Look at me.”, he said, turning her face to him and holding her back. 

“What?”, she asked.

“Honey.”, he said.

“ _ Yes? _ ”, she asked.

“ _ You’re _ the only woman I love.  _ You’re _ the only woman I’m attracted to.  _ You’re _ the only woman I want to be with at all.  _ You’re _ the love of my life. Not her.  _ You _ . Don’t be so jealous.”, he said, pressing his forehead to hers and smiled.

“I finally understand how you felt when you were jealous of every guy before with me.”, she said.

“Well, you’re hot. Guys go crazy over you. I mean you’re obviously so much more than just that which makes you even more attractive. Beauty, personality, brains. You really have it all.”, he said.

“First of all, you’re hot too. Girls look at you all the time. And also, that doesn’t mean you should get jealous of any guy who checks me out.”, she said.

“I don’t like it!”, he laughed.

“Yeah, I know how you feel now but there’s nothing to do about it. They’re gonna look.”, she said.

“I don’t like it when they try and hit on you though. Like... do they not see me standing near you?”, he asked.

“I don’t know.”, she sighed.

“Once you have a ring on your finger, they won’t be hitting on you anymore.”, he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

“I told you. Don’t do that yet.”, she said.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. I won’t but when I do...”, he smiled.

“You’re just a hopeless romantic, huh? You’re so cheesy and-“, she smiled, starting to lean in for a kiss before Jack ran up to them.

“Can we get ice cream?”, Jack asked.

“Sure, buddy.”, Hotch said.

They walked out and headed down the block to their favorite ice cream place and let Jack get a double scoop of rocky road. Emily got mint chocolate chip, her favorite while Hotch went for plain vanilla.

“You’re boring. Just vanilla?”, she said.

“Sometimes I just want vanilla! I was gonna offer you some but that’s fine...”, Hotch said.

“Switch?”, Emily asked, holding out her cone for them to switch for a bite. When Hotch handed her his cone, she took it and squished it to his nose, making her and Jack laugh uncontrollably.

“ _ Emily! _ ”, he said, trying to hold back a laugh himself but ultimately failing. She swiped her finger on it and licked it, smirking. “I’m  _ so _ getting you back later for that.”

“We’ll see.”, she said.

“Would you hand me a napkin?”, he asked. She stopped walking and reached in her back pocket for one but when she faced him again, he got her back, squishing the ice cream on her nose.

She gasped and threw her hand up. Him and Jack started laughing at her this time and she tried not to let one out as well but just like Hotch had before, she failed.

“You  _ jerk _ .”, she said.

“Lemme see that.”, he said, taking the napkin from her. He wiped it off her nose and then stopped. “Okay, don’t move. You have some right... above...”, he smiled, inching his lips closer to hers. Once they touched, she could feel his smile and then him get the rest of the ice cream off.

“Cheesy move.”, she said. 

“Maybe.”, he smiled again and kissed her nose.

“You’re lucky I love you.”, she said.

“ _ Very _ lucky.”, he said, kissing her again.

They heard Jack let out a goofy laugh and looked down to see that he had done it to himself with his own ice cream.

“Oh god. See what you started?”, she said.

“What  _ I _ started? You did it first!”, Hotch said.

“Yeah but you did it back!”, she said, pulling out another napkin and bending down to wipe the ice cream off Jack’s face even though he was grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, it’s starting to drip. Lick the sides.”, she held the cone up for him and he licked all around, making sure it didn’t drip any more.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.”, Hotch chuckled.

“ _ I’m _ not. That was hilarious.”, she laughed. 

“Oh, I see how it is.”, he said.

“Daddy, do you wanna bite?”, Jack asked.

“I actually would. Thank you.”, Hotch said, taking a bite of Jack’s rocky road. “Mmm thank you, buddy.”

“Emmy?”, Jack asked, holding the cone up to her.

“Oh, I’m okay. Thank you, though, sweetie. Did you want some of this?”, she asked, holding out her cone, still bending down. Without even saying anything, Jack leaned over and took a bite. “I’ll take that as a  _ yes _ .”, she laughed.

“Let’s keep walking and finish our ice cream. It’s getting kinda late.”, Hotch said, checking his watch. 

As they kept walking around, they finished their ice cream and eventually walked back to the car and drove home. By the time they got inside and Jack changed in his pajamas and brushed his teeth, he’d hit the peak of his sugar crash and rolled into bed. They tucked him in and gave him a kiss goodnight before walking into their own room. They locked the door and started to get changed.

“Oh.  _ I’m _ sorry. Is it alright if I get naked in front of you now or are you still-“, she started, holding back a laugh. 

“Ha ha. You can get naked in front of me now.”, he said.

“Just checking.”, she laughed.

“Hey. Didn’t we just discuss how hot you are? It’s hard to not get hard looking at you even with clothes on sometimes.”, he said.

“Oh  _ really? _ ”, she asked, taking her shirt off and walking over to him.

“God, you’re killing me today, Em.”, he sighed and threw his head back, looking up at the ceiling.

“You’re saying you don’t want me right now?”, she asked, sliding her jeans down and kicking them off to the side.

“ _ Emily _ ...”, he warned her.

“Come on.”, she said, walking over to him and lifting his shirt over his head. “Come on, babe.”, she whispered in his ear. Feeling her hot breath, it made him shudder and before she could get to them, he dropped his pants and boxers along with her underwear and picked her up. He carried her to the bed and got on top of her once she was laying down on it. They pulled the sheets back and got underneath. 

Feeling that he wasn’t completely ready yet, she started stroking him but before she could go on, he ran his fingers along her.

“I. Take. Care. Of. You. Remember?”, he said.

She nodded her head as he licked his fingers and slipped one into her.

“Oh god.”, she moaned.

Within just a few seconds, he added another, beginning to move them in and out of her. While doing that, he could feel himself getting harder and started moving his fingers faster and curling them inside her. She gripped the bed sheets and curled her toes, biting her lip.

“ _ Breathe _ , honey.”, he said.

“Fuck.”, she exhaled.

“That’s it, hun.”, he whispered.

“ _ Aaron _ .”, she breathed.

“Let go.”, he whispered.

“Ahh.”, she whimpered, letting it all go.

He ran his fingers along her, then guiding them along his length, stroking it. He lined himself up with her entrance and slid in easily.

Laying on their sides, he pulled her leg over his waist and ran his hand up to her ass, continuing to her back and held her there, feeling her soft skin along the way. 

They pressed their foreheads to each other’s and brought their lips together. She placed her hand on his face and kept holding it to hers. Tongues dancing around with each other, they inhaled deep while his hips continued moving in and out of her. 

“I thought we were done earlier.”, he chuckled, out of breath.

“Guess not.”, she moaned.

“Mm.”, he grunted, bringing his lips to her neck and buried his face in it.

“Ahh you feel so good.”, she said.

“So do you, hun.”, he said.

She ran her fingers through his hair and stretched her neck, allowing him more access. He slowly pumped in and out of her, tracing his fingers along her skin until they reached her face and he traced her cheekbone and jaw, looking in her eyes, so close, bringing her in for a kiss.

“I love you so much.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she whispered, grabbing his face gently when he hit a spot for her and her mouth opened wide. 

“Right there?”, he asked. Mouth still open, trying hard to breathe, she nodded her head. “Okay.”, he whispered and moved in to kiss her, continuing the way he was going, seeing how good it made her feel.

“Please- Aaron- I-“, she panted.

“I have you, sweetie.”, he said quietly.

He held her leg and pulled her closer with each slow thrust until he finally felt himself about to release everything. She grabbed the back of his head and held his hair, tilting her head down and shutting her eyes tight, feeling everything build. 

“Aaron, I need-“, she whimpered and before she could finish, he knew what she needed. 

He brought his hand down and started rubbing her clit only for her to reach her climax just seconds later. Feeling her move against him, riding out her high, his jaw dropped and he slightly moved in and out of her. He grabbed her side and held her down, burying himself deep inside, shooting everything up into her. 

“Ahhhhh. You’ve taken so much of me today.”, he sighed.

“Gladly.”, she breathed.

He pulled out of her and brought her closer. He tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead, stroking her cheek.

“You’re so beautiful when you do that.”, he said.

“Do what?”, she asked.

“Tumble over the edge like that and when you open your mouth wide when I hit just the right spot. You’re so beautiful.”, he said, placing his lips on hers gently.

“Hey, that beard has really been doing it for me. You just look so... everything. So  _ hot _ . So  _ sexy _ . So  _ handsome _ . Just- everything. I can’t help myself.”, she giggled and stroked his face along his beard. 

“Should I keep it?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she kissed him. “For now at least.”

“Done.”, he smiled.

She gave him one more kiss before laying her head on his chest and hugging his side. 

“I’m wiped.”, she said.

“Go to sleep.”, he said. He felt her nod against his chest as she rubbed it. “Wait... Em?”

“Mmhmm?”, she said sweetly.

“Honey, I’m sorry about earlier.”, he said.

“For what?”, she asked.

“I feel like I was pushing you with the talk about having a baby and... I just didn’t mean to push it. I didn’t want you to feel like I was putting any pressure on you about it. You obviously didn’t want to talk about it in the shower but I brought it up again and I’m sorry. And I was being  _ pushy _ when I kept asking you why not now when we were sitting down and talking about it. It made me feel like back to last time when you told me you wanted the abortion. I kept trying to convince you that we could do it and I just feel bad like maybe it came off as me not hearing you but I did. I do. I hear you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t. And I respect your decisions for all of this and your feelings. I want you to know that. I just really want this. I really want to do this already and I think I go a little too far with trying to convince you of whatever sometimes and that’s wrong of me. I’m sorry. It’s not my intention.”, he said.

“No. You’re not being pushy. You’re telling me what you’re feeling and what you want and sharing your thoughts. I  _ want _ you to do that. That’s important. And I want you to be honest about it. I appreciate you saying this but if you’re being pushy or I feel like you’re putting pressure on me or anything... trust me... I’ll let you know. Okay?”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Completely.”, she said. 

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just so excited for this and I’m usually a really patient person but with this... I just can’t wait.”, he chuckled softly.

She reached over his stomach and grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezed it tight, bringing it to his chest and holding on. 

“I know. Me too.”, she said, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, Haley came back earlier than expected, just a bit before lunch time. Jessica came over as well and they were all hanging out while Hotch had taken Jack for a play date with Sophia. At a certain point, Emily noticed Haley seemed to be upset.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?”, Emily asked.

“What? Oh. It’s uh- it’s nothing.”, Haley said, taking a smile.

“No... what’s wrong?”, Jessica asked.

“I thought you said everything went really well last night. Oh! Wait! Did he ask you to move in?”, Emily asked.

“Sort of...”, Haley said, looking down.

“What does that mean?”, Jessica asked.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like it’s gonna happen.”, Haley said.

“Well what is it?”, Emily asked.

Haley paused for a minute and took a deep breath. “Tom got a job in New York.”, Haley said.

“Oh... I’m sorry.”, Jessica said.

“Wait but you said-“, Emily started.

“He asked me to move with him.”, Haley said.

“Oh...”, Emily said.

“Wow... well... what did you tell him?”, Jessica asked.

“Obviously I said I couldn’t go. But then he said they have a job for me there too. He got me a job there. A really good one too. At the office he’s gonna be working at. And he’s got a really nice place already and it’s all great but... I can’t leave...”, Haley said.

“It sounds like you really wanna go though...”, Emily said.

“I can’t take Jack away again.”, Haley said.

“What if you didn’t?”, Emily said.

“I can’t just leave him here or move away from him completely.”, Haley said.

“Haley, you can barely stand being here. Too much has happened here. You need a change. This could be really good for you. Jack loves it here. He could stay with us.”, Emily said.

“I don’t want to not see Jack.”, Haley said.

“What if we made plans to visit you guys or you guys visit us a few times a month or every other weekend and holidays. I mean, he could see you on a somewhat regular basis. New York is so close. It’s what- like... three- three and a half hours away? We could easily do that drive anytime either of you wanted. Literally. He could stay here with his friends and school and the rest of us...”, Emily said.

“I don’t know... I mean you guys are so busy with your job...”, Haley said.

“I could help out! I can take Jack or be here with him when you guys are gone and help pick him up from school and babysit. I could do that. I would  _ love _ to be able to have more time with him. I don’t have much else in my life right now and you guys are the most important things anyways. It would mean a lot if you’d let me help out.”, Jessica said.

“I- I’d have to talk to Aaron and Jack even. I mean I have to explain to him what this means especially if he even wants to stay here or whatever...”, Haley said.

“When is Tom moving?”, Emily asked.

“By the end of the month.”, Haley said.

“So a couple weeks... you have a couple weeks to pack things up if you do this. You can totally do that.”, Emily said.

“This is not what I was expecting to hear from you guys...”, Haley said.

“Your news was a bit of a shock too but... I think it’s good.”, Jessica smiled.

“Yeah.”, Emily said, putting her hand on Haley’s shoulder.

“How do I talk to them?”, Haley asked.

All of a sudden, Hotch and Jack walked inside. “Hey, we’re back!”, Hotch called out. “Oh, sorry.”, he chuckled. “I didn’t realize you guys were right there.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry.”, Jack said.

“Yeah, alright, let’s get you a snack.”, Hotch said, going to the kitchen and grabbing him some fruit gummies. 

He walked back to the table with Jack where the girls were at and sat down. It was completely silent and Hotch looked back and forth between all of them. 

“Yeah, I know it’s not  _ real _ fruit but since Emily won’t tell me her secret, this is the best I can do for now.”, Hotch laughed. Once he realized that’s not what they were staring at or silent about, he became curious. “What? What’s going on?”, he asked. Haley looked down and took a couple deep breaths. “Haley... what’s going on?”

“Tom asked me to move to New York with him... and... I think I’m considering going...”, she said.

“What?”, he said, completely still and at a loss for any other words.

  
  



	85. Closed Off

**Chapter 85**

  
  
  


**fair warning: light smut included in this chapter**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A few weeks later, at the start of April, Haley was settled in with Tom at their new place in New York. Since Jack wanted to stay with Emily and Hotch, they all worked out an arrangement with each other. Jack could call Haley anytime and talk on the phone with her and they made sure that either they would drive up to New York, typically once a month, to visit Haley and Tom or have them come down to D.C. to visit.

So far, it was working out well. Jack was happy to be back at school with his friends and enjoyed being able to live with Emily and Hotch. Hotch felt it was beneficial for Jack to finally have more time with his father and was just glad he could make it work.

They were getting used to their new routine with having Jack full-time and of course, assistance from Jessica. Especially when they were out of town for a case or not able to pick up Jack from school or wanted a date night or a night to hangout with the team, etc.

They’d had half a week back at work already after taking more time off than they had planned, since they were helping Haley and Tom move. 

They were starting their first full week back at work and were determined to try and do as much for Jack as possible without having to ask Jessica to help out with everything right away, wanting to prove they can do some things on their own.

Emily and Hotch woke up on Monday morning, hitting the alarm when it went off.

“Good morning, good morning, good morning.”, Hotch said in a cute, cheery voice, placing tiny, soft kisses by Emily’s ear and cheek and side of her head.

“Is it my birthday?”, Emily mumbled, trying to open her eyes.

“Nope.”, he smiled at her.

“Well, what’s got you in such a great mood? Did you make coffee already?”, she asked.

“No, but I can go do that right now.”, he said.

“Oh no... was I snoring?... Did I wake you up?! Have you been up for hours?! You told me I haven’t done that in months but-“, she said.

“Just a little... but I haven’t been up for hours!”, he said.

“Oh no! Are you serious?!”, she asked.

“Yes, but it’s okay, hun.”, he said.

“I’m so sorry, honey!”, she said.

“Em, it’s okay. _Really_ . It’s cute _little_ snoring.”, he said.

“That’s not a thing.”, she said.

“It is. And you do it.”, he said, kissing her nose. She reached for a pillow but he set his hand on it. “Don’t hit me with a pillow. You always do that when I tell you that you were snoring.”, he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and punched his arm hard. “Ow!”

“What did I tell you before? I hit you with a pillow because I don’t wanna hurt you with my fists.”, she said.

“You little-“, he started and moved on top of her when she grabbed him. Rolling around and laughing, they forgot they had to get up until Jack came running in and jumped on their bed, throwing himself into the mix.

“Jack, come here. Emily’s being mean to me.”, Hotch said, grabbing Jack and blocking himself from Emily.

“I’m not being mean... come here.”, she said, grabbing Jack but Hotch pulled him back.

“She’s lying! She’s gonna tickle you!”, Hotch said, holding on tight.

“I would never do such a thing!”, she gasped.

“That’s another lie.”, Hotch said.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s the real tickle monster.”, she said to Jack, who kept looking back and forth between them, not sure who to believe.

Hotch froze and stared Jack straight in the eye. “ _Well_...”, Hotch said.

Jack’s eyes widened and he tried to crawl out of Hotch’s arms to Emily. “Emmy!”, Jack said but Hotch squeezed him tight and started tickling him before he could grab her.

“I lied too. We’re both tickle monsters!”, she said, moving closer and squishing him, both her and Hotch tickling Jack, making him giggle and move all around, kicking everywhere.

After a minute they finally stopped and Jack had to catch his breath from laughing so much. 

“Alright, alright. Who wants breakfast?”, Hotch said.

After they ate breakfast, they all got dressed and Hotch ran out to the kitchen to fix Jack a lunch and put it in his lunchbox. When Emily was done doing her makeup, she came out to help him.

“Do you need any help?”, she asked.

“No. I actually got it down now. One peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crust cut off, some goldfish and apple slices that I’m hoping he’ll eat if you tell him to, along with a juice box.”, he said, zipping up the lunchbox with a big smile.

“You really got the hang of it.”, she said.

“Up until about last week, I’ve never done this before. Isn’t that kind of weird?”, he chuckled. 

“No. You were never able to. But now you _are_. And you’re doing a good job. Oh, we gotta go.”, she said and walked over to Jack’s room and knocked on the door. “You almost ready? We have to go in a minute to get you to school on time.”, she said.

Jack immediately swung open the door, carrying a coloring book and ran over to Hotch in the kitchen. He handed him his lunchbox while Emily grabbed her bag and his briefcase.

“Alright, you ready?”, she asked Jack.

“Uh huh.”, he nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go.”, she said, opening the door and walking out with them. 

They drove to his preschool and both got out once they parked and unbuckled him, walking him inside. They didn’t even think about it happening until they started taking him to school but every time, they got strange looks from all the other parents when they went inside. They could only assume it was because of how they were dressed and the fact that they both had guns on their hips.

They headed into the main room Jack was in all day and helped him put his lunchbox in the fridge they had there. Emily did her magic trick and got him to agree to eat his apple slices. Hotch walked over to them and before he could give Jack a hug and kiss goodbye, he grabbed both of their hands.

“Look!”, Jack said, dragging them over to a wall with some of the kids' artwork.

“Did you make that?!”, Emily gasped, pointing a paper with glitter all over in the shape of a smiley face and scribbles all around it. He nodded with a big grin.

“Wow, that’s really good buddy. Can you make _us_ one today?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said right as one of his teachers was walking over.

“Hi, you must be Jack’s dad.”, she said with a smile and reached out to shake his hand.

“Yeah.”, he said, shaking it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.”, she said and glanced at his hip. “Oh, I’m sorry but we don’t allow firearms on the premises...”

“I uh- I work at the FBI. We’re actually about to head to work. I tend to not leave it in the car but I assure you the safety is on and clipped in to the holster-“, he said.

“Oh, that’s right! You’re an _FBI agent_. I completely forgot. Yeah, Haley mentioned that. I’m sorry, you’re fine. How is she by the way?”, she asked.

“She’s doing really well. Um Jessica will be picking Jack up most days but it’ll typically be me and Emily...”, he said, gesturing towards her, “... dropping him off. There may be _some_ days where we pick him up though.”

“I don’t believe we’ve met either.”, Jack’s teacher said to Emily reaching out to shake her hand.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve met a couple other of his teachers or staff members. I’ve picked him up and dropped him off before. But it’s nice to meet you.”, Emily said.

“You as well. Okay, sounds good. I’ll double check to make sure you’re all on the list for who’s allowed to pick up and drop off.”, the teacher said.

“Great. Thank you so much.”, Hotch said. “Hey, buddy.”, Hotch said, squatting to his level again and checking his watch. “Ahh... We have to go now but I really like this. If you could make another one today for us that would be _awesome!_ ”

“Okay.”, Jack said.

“Alright, I love you. Have fun today and Aunt Jessica is gonna pick you up later, okay?”, Hotch said and Jack nodded. He reached for a hug and kiss while Emily did the same and ruffled his hair as they stood up. They waved _goodbye_ on their way out and blew a kiss.

They hopped in the car and drove to work. When they got there, Emily walked Hotch to his office and sat down for a few minutes before everyone else arrived. She pulled a paper bag out of her work bag and set it on his desk.

“What’s this?”, he asked, sitting down in his chair and pulling out some files.

“Your lunch.”, she said.

“You packed me a lunch?”, he laughed.

“You didn’t make one for yourself so _I_ did. You’re _welcome_.”, she said.

“I was actually going to see if you wanted to go out and grab something for lunch today.”, he said.

“Really?”, she said.

“Yeah. Case load seems like it’s going to be pretty light today. We haven’t gone out in a while, thought a little lunch date might be nice.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she smiled. “But at least have the protein bar at some point that I packed in here for you. You need a snack and little energy boost throughout the day, okay?”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he said.

“I take care of you. Remember?”, she said.

“I do.”, he smiled. “Oh, did you finish that report from last week? I need it before the end of the day.”, he said.

“I didn’t hand it in?”, she asked.

“Not that I can see.”, he said, going through the files some more.

“I know I finished it. Let me go check my desk.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he said.

She walked down to her desk and set her bag on the ground underneath it. While she searched through some papers, her phone rang. She picked it up while continuing to look for the report.

“Hello?”, she said.

“Hi, this is Dr. Smith calling from Women’s Imaging. Can I speak to Emily?”, the doctor asked.

“Yes, this is her.”, she said.

“Hi, I’m calling about your results from your mammogram last week.”, Dr. Smith said.

“Are you guys not sending them in the mail anymore or- wait... you only _call_ if you found something...”, Emily said, stopping what she was doing and looked around, still no one in the office yet.

“Well, we didn’t necessarily _find_ anything but your results were inconclusive.”, Dr. Smith said.

“What does that mean? Should I be worried?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t want to worry unless we know there’s something to worry about. For now, we’d just like to have you come back to do another screening if that’s alright.”, Dr. Smith said.

“Uh... yeah. Sure.”, Emily said, looking up at Hotch’s office, making sure he couldn’t hear.

“It looks like we actually have a time tomorrow. Is 3:00 okay?”, Dr. Smith asked.

“That- that works.”, Emily said, anxiety finally catching up.

“Like I said, there’s nothing to worry about unless we actually find something and if we do, we’ll take it one step at a time, alright? But for now, just relax. This happens and most of the time it’s nothing.”, Dr. Smith said.

Emily saw Hotch walk out of his office and head down to her.

“Yeah. Alright, thank you.”, Emily said, trying to rush off the call.

“Of course. We’ll see you tomorrow.”, Dr. Smith said.

“Bye.”, Emily said quickly and hung up.

“Hey, who was that?”, Hotch asked, leaning against her desk.

“Oh that was just the doctor calling to schedule a mammogram.”, she said.

“Didn’t you just go there last week?”, he asked.

“Uh... no. I went to the _gynecologist_ . You’re thinking of the _other_ lady business doctor.”, she laughed, feeling bad for lying but didn’t want to worry him unless she knew there was something to worry about just like the doctor had said.

“Oh. I could’ve sworn it was a mammogram you went to go get... oh well. So did you schedule an appointment?”, he asked.

“Yeah, tomorrow at 3:00. Is it alright if I head out for that? That’s all they had this week. I can either come back afterwards or just pick up Jack from school since it’ll be about that time afterwards anyways.”, she said.

“I think it depends on what we have going on tomorrow. If we have a case or something, I’d like it if you could come back but if it’s like today, then you could pick up Jack if you want.”, he said.

“Alright. Sounds good.”, she said.

“So... does it hurt...?”, he asked.

“It’s not super _comfortable_...”, she laughed.

“Does it hurt later on or...?”, he asked.

“Why?”, she asked, confused.

“Just wondering if I should stay away from... that _area_ afterwards or if it’s fine.”, he said.

“It should be alright.”, she chuckled.

“Alright. Good to know.”, he smirked.

“ _Stop. Not at work_.”, she laughed, shoving him, making him laugh and take her arm, pulling her in for a hug. 

“Where do you want to go for lunch?”, he asked.

“Mmm... I’m fine with wherever.”, she said. 

“Alright, we’ll figure something out.”, he said, releasing her. “Oh, did you find the report?”, he asked, reaching for the stack of papers at her desk.

“Oh, sorry. Hold on.”, she said, searching through them again with his help, not even paying attention. She was too distracted by the news she had just gotten.

“Ah there it is.”, Hotch said, reaching for it but Emily kept flying through the stack. “Wait, Emily. Emily, slow down, it was right- _Emily_ .”, he tried getting her attention but she had spaced out without stopping her search. “ _Emily_.”, he said, stopping her hand.

“Huh? What?”, she asked, turning to him, coming back to focus on him.

“The report... you passed it...”, he said, picking up some papers and grabbing it. 

“Oh, sorry.”, she chuckled. 

“You okay?”, he asked, confused.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Why?”, she tried to smile.

“Nothing...”, he said after trying to study her facial expression for a minute.

Right after, everyone else walked in together and came over to their desks to set their things down. Once they all glanced over at Hotch, they stopped.

“What?”, he asked them.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a beard.”, Derek said.

“I have.”, JJ said.

“What?”, Spencer said.

“A picture.”, JJ said.

“Oh. Right. I forgot.”, Hotch said.

“It looks good.”, Emily said, touching his arm.

“Yeah, I know _you_ like it.”, he said.

“Yeah, it looks good.”, Spencer said.

“Thank you.”, Hotch said with a half nod, awkwardly, acting like chief again, and walked up into his office.

“What’s up with him?”, Derek asked.

“I think he just feels a bit awkward with that. Don’t worry about it. He’s in a good mood.”, Emily said.

JJ started walking up to her office and Emily started to sit down but stood up before she could. She headed into her office and closed the door behind her. JJ looked up at her from behind her desk and stopped.

“Hey, what’s up?”, JJ asked and looked at Emily walking closer with her head down. “You alright?”

“I need your advice.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, JJ said, crossing her arms. “What’s going on?”

“I got a call from the doctor about my mammogram results.”, Emily said.

“Is everything okay?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know... They want me to come in again tomorrow to get another one... They said the results were... inconclusive.”, Emily said.

“Oh...”, JJ said.

“I don’t know if I should tell Aaron or not. I just got off the phone with them and already lied to him saying that was them calling to schedule an appointment and he said he thought I got one last week so I... I lied and said I actually went to the gynecologist last week. I just don’t want him to worry. I mean the doctor told _me_ not to worry until we know there’s something to worry about _if_ there even ends up being something to worry about. But... I feel bad not telling him and... even though she said that... I’m still worried. Should I tell him or just wait until I know something?”, Emily asked.

“Oh... well... how worried do you think he’d get? I mean... do you think it would make things worse if you told him now?”, JJ asked.

“He’d _freak out._ I know him. He worries when I have a _cold_.”, Emily laughed. “It’s sweet but I don’t need him to feel like that unless there’s a real reason to. But is that bad if I’m keeping this from him?”

“I think that if you want to tell him, you should but I also think that since you don’t know anything for sure yet, it would be okay to wait a few days till you know the results... Would it bring _you_ more stress knowing he’s stressing about it but at least is aware of it or would it stress you out more, knowing he doesn’t but isn’t scared right now? This is _your_ news after all.”, JJ asked.

“I don’t know...”, Emily said.

“Okay, well, _personally_ , if it was _me_ ... I’d wait to tell Will if he freaked out like that that much, until I knew something for sure. It’s not like there’s anything he _can_ do right now. Or anything _you_ can. Nothing except wait to hear back from the doctor.”, JJ said.

“You’re right. You’re right, I shouldn’t put him through that unless I need to.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, JJ nodded with a sympathetic look. “Are _you_ okay?”

Emily laughed nervously, choking back a couple tears. “I mean, I guess. They said this happens and usually it’s nothing. I just... tend to have really bad luck with a lot of things and it’s kind of hard to see a lot going my way because it typically doesn’t. Maybe it’s just karma... I’ve done a lot of bad things to a lot of people including myself. I don’t seem to learn from it much.”, she nervously laughed some more.

“Emily... don’t say that. No one would deserve this. And you’re _not_ a bad person. You’re such an _amazing_ person. We all make mistakes. We all do stupid things but that doesn’t mean you deserve this and it certainly doesn’t mean that’s what’s gonna happen...”, JJ said.

“Yeah. I- I’m just... I’m just overthinking this.”, Emily nodded. “Please just... don’t tell anyone about this. Especially Aaron.”

“Of course. Do you need anything?”, JJ asked.

“No.”, Emily forced a smile. “I’m good, thank you. Just that advice.”, she said, going for the door.

“I’m here.”, JJ said.

“Thanks.”, Emily smiled as she walked out, closing the door behind her and went back to her desk, continuing to try and focus her best on _work_.

A few hours later Emily walked up to Hotch’s office to check in with him and make sure he ate his protein bar and to take a break for a few minutes. As she stepped in, she was about to speak but Hotch held up his finger, telling her to hold on. She saw he was on the phone and nodding his head.

“Are you alright? Do you need me to drop anything off for you? I could bring by- no, it’s okay... No, of course... It’s not a problem... Okay, yeah, feel better. Let me know if you need anything... Alright, you too.”, Hotch said, hanging up the phone and sighed, leaning back in his seat.

“What’s wrong?”, Emily asked, walking over to his side of the desk. 

“Jessica came down with something so I’m gonna have to pick up Jack from school today, leave a little early. I just don’t know if I-“, he started before his phone rang again. “Hold on, sorry hun.”, he said, picking up the phone. “Hello? Yes... _What?_ ... He _did?_ ... _What happened?_... Well is the other kid- okay... yeah, no, I’ll... I’ll figure it out. Jessica is sick so I’ll come get him myself... Yeah, alright, thank you. I’ll leave in just a second... Alright, bye.”, Hotch said, hanging up again.

Emily could tell how stressed he was so she combed a piece of hair out of his face that had flopped over. She rubbed the back of his head and stood next to him with her other hand on his shoulder. She was fully aware of their rule for no PDA at work but no one on the unit in that moment was paying attention or really cared and they were in his office.

“That was Jack’s school. Apparently he hit another kid and ruined his art project and they’re asking me to come pick him up. He’s actually getting sent home from school.”, Hotch weakly laughed, obviously not really amused, and groaned when he rested his face in his hands. “ _Of course_.”

“Jack _hit another kid?_ ”, she asked surprised.

“Yeah, apparently. And they got into a little fight and apparently ruined another kid’s art project they were working on.”, he said.

“That doesn’t sound like Jack.”, she said.

“Well, his teacher said he did it, so... I have to go pick him up. I really didn’t want to miss work today. I actually have time to catch up on some paperwork since it’s not crazy or busy.”, he said.

“Do you want me to pick him up and take him home?”, she asked.

“No, I don’t want you missing work either... you know what?”, he said, standing up, “I’ll bring him here. Today would be the perfect day for that. He can do some coloring in here, come to lunch with us, I’m sure Garcia would love to show him her office and Dave would love to spend some time with him. He’s never really busy and has his own office too so...”, he said.

“I’m sure we can all take turns doing something with him. Like you said, we won’t have too much work today. I’ll even finish up some extra stuff that doesn’t need to be done until later in the week, alright? Do you need anything from me before you go?”, she asked.

“Just a kiss.”, he said, leaning in for one after grabbing his phone and keys, heading out the door.

“Okay, just call me if you need anything.”, she said, following him out.

“I will. I’ll see you soon when we get back and I want him to know that we _are_ going to talk to him later tonight about what happened. It’s just hard to punish him while we’re at work and I don’t want it to be too boring for him because I want him to behave and not feel like I’m ignoring him so... it needs to be somewhat fun for him I guess if that makes sense. But not make him think he’s being rewarded for his behavior and-“, he tried to go on.

“I understand what you mean, just go get him and I’ll be here.”, she said.

“Alright, thank you. I’ll be back.”, he said walking to the elevators.

“Did I hear the little man is coming?”, Derek said.

“Yep. The _little man tried_ to act like a _big man_ and got all tough. He hit another kid and ruined his art project.”, Emily said.

“Whoa. We bringin’ him in for a disorderly conduct charge or something?”, he laughed.

“Ha ha. Very funny. No, it’s just that Jessica is sick and Aaron doesn’t want to take the day off work so...”, she said.

“Well, I’m about to finish the last of my stack of work for most of today. I can show him around, do a couple fun things with him, hangout with Garcia in her office.”, he said.

“That would actually be great. I can too. Aaron and I are gonna take him out to lunch with us and then he mentioned Rossi might also wanna spend some time with him. One of us might still end up leaving a bit early anyways.”, she said.

“No problem.”, he said, walking away to get some coffee.

An hour later, Emily heard Hotch come through the doors and little footsteps running. She turned around and saw Hotch holding Jack’s lunch box and coloring book along with another bag as the little footsteps got closer. 

“Emmy!”, Jack said, coming up to her. 

“Hey, sweetie.”, she said, bending down and picking him up. Hotch looked over at her and motioned his head to his office. She followed him up and went inside.

“Hey, what’s in that bag?”, she asked, setting Jack down.

“I figured since I already took some time to go grab him and he already has a lunch, I’d just stop on the way here to pick up some food for me and you. I’m sorry. We’ll go out for lunch this week or something but I got us something.”, he said.

“It’s alright. What’d you get?”, she asked.

“Burritos. Is that alright? I just had time to hit a drive- thru. Jack suggested it.”, he laughed.

“Burritos sound perfect.”, she said.

“Good. Alright, Jack, what did I tell you?”, Hotch said.

“Eat my lunch.”, Jack said.

“I said more than that but... okay, yeah. Just eat your lunch right now.”, Hotch said, setting him on the couch and gave him some extra napkins for his sandwich.

“Your apple slices?”, Emily said to Jack, raising an eyebrow. He sighed and pulled them out, taking a bite. 

Hotch took his suit jacket off and sat down at his desk next to Emily instead of behind it on his side. He pulled out their food and unwrapped it for her.

“Thanks, honey.”, she said, grabbing it.

“I got the red _and_ green salsa just for you.”, he said.

“One more reason why I keep you around.”, she laughed.

“Jack, how’s the sandwich?”, Hotch asked.

“Good.”, Jack said with a full mouth.

“Good. Em?”, he asked after she took a bite. She nodded and poured more salsa on her burrito.

Jack finished eating before Hotch and Emily, even his apple slices and got started to run out his office but Hotch stopped him.

“Hey. Jack. Don’t run out there without asking. You need someone with you at all times, okay?”, Hotch said.

“Can I go see Uncle Dave?”, Jack asked.

“Uncle Dave is already here!”, Rossi said, coming up to Hotch’s office, out of nowhere. Jack jumped up and down waiting for him to pick him up which he did and gave Jack a high five. “Why don’t I take him down to my office and show him some of the baseballs I have collected?”

“Sure.”, Hotch nodded as they walked away.

“Don’t worry, I’m almost done.”, Emily said.

“Don’t rush.”, he said.

“Okay wait, so what happened?”, she asked.

“He wouldn’t tell me yet.”, he said.

“Maybe one of _them_ can.”, she said, looking out his office.

“I’m sorry.”, he sighed. “We’ll go out-“, he started.

“Aaron, it’s fine.”, she said, finishing her food and wiping her hands off. “Are you okay?”, she asked, wiping off a corner of his mouth.

“My kid hit someone. And destroyed something of theirs and he won’t talk to me.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said.

“I’m gonna talk to him later of course and I’ll call Haley and let her know but I also want to try and figure out how to deal with this on my own too. It’s new territory for me and...”, he said.

“You’re doing a good job. It’s only been a couple weeks. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got me and Jessica and all our friends, okay? We’re all here.”, she said.

“I know, I know. I just- I feel like I’m a bad dad.”, he said, taking the last bite of his food and wiping off his hands.

“Honey... no...”, she said.

“I don’t know how to do a lot of this... what if I’m a horrible dad to our baby too?”, he asked.

“No, Aaron. You’re an _amazing_ father. A lot of this is just new for you. And you’re learning it but you’re doing a great job. You can’t do that to yourself. And you’ll be great when we have a baby too. Just like you told me when I doubted myself... I wouldn’t want to have a kid with you if I thought that you’d be a bad parent.”, she said, stroking the top of his head. He closed his eyes and nodded.

“Thank you.”, he said. She smiled softly and moved her hand down to his face and gave him a kiss.

“I believe in you.”, she said, running her fingers along his jaw.

“I love you.”, he said, taking her hand off his face and kissing it before setting it down in their laps and holding it.

“I love you more.”, she grinned. 

“Uh uh. Don’t start that. I could go all day.”, he said.

“So I won then, huh?”, she said.

“No.”, he said.

“I totally did. And it’s true because I love you mo-“, she started before he silenced her with his lips on hers and could feel her start to smile.

“... more.”, she finished.

“I give up.”, he rolled his eyes.

“Aww. I know you love me.”, she said.

“Really?”, he said.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said.

“I’m just kidding. I know you know you’re my whole world.”, he said.

“And you’re mine.”, she said, giving him another kiss.

“I better be.”, he said.

“Just like I told you the other week, you have me. All of me.”, she said, playing with his tie.

“I better. You’re _my_ girl.”, he said kissing her forehead.

“All yours and only yours.”, she smiled.

“Good.”, he said, tucking her hair behind her ear and pressing his forehead to hers before kissing it again, and getting up. “I’m gonna throw this away and go find Jack.”

“I’ll come with you.”, she said, handing him his suit jacket. He slid it on as they walked out and over to Rossi’s office.

They stepped inside to find him spinning Jack around in his chair behind his desk. Jack was giggling uncontrollably and Hotch stepped up more.

“Faster!”, Jack said.

“No, no. Not faster. Dave, he just ate his lunch. Do you really feel like cleaning up vomit off your desk?”, Hotch asked.

“Aw come on. He’s having fun.”, Rossi said, slowing Jack down in the chair until he stopped.

“I don’t want him getting sick.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, relax.”, Emily said.

“Come on, Jack. Let’s go see what Penelope’s doing.”, Hotch said, bending down to pick Jack up when he hopped off the chair and started walking over to him slowly and wobbling, still dizzy from spinning around. 

Right after he picked him up, Strauss stepped in the doorway and they all turned around to face her. 

“Agent Hotchner.”, she said.

“Chief.”, he said, looking at her and then to Jack in his arms. “Jack, can you say _hi_ to Chief Strauss?”

“Hi.”, Jack waved.

“Hi, Jack.”, Strauss smiled and waved back.

“I’m sorry. Jack had to leave school early today and Jessica was sick so she couldn’t pick him up. It won’t be-“, Hotch started.

“No worries. I completely understand. It’s a slow day anyways.”, Strauss said. 

Hotch half nodded and put on his more serious and professional face. “What can I do for you?”, he asked.

“There’s a meeting in a few minutes and I was hoping you could sit in, I uh- can’t discuss the nature of it here...”, she said, looking at everyone else. “But if you’re busy, it’s no problem.”

“Well...”, he said, looking at Rossi and Emily.

“We’ve got him.”, Rossi said.

Hotch looked back at Strauss and nodded. “Alright, sure. Just give me one second.”, he said, setting Jack down. “Alright, buddy. I have to go do some work but I’ll be back real soon. Think you can hangout with Emily and Uncle Dave for a little? Maybe go see Penelope in her office with all her fun toys?”

Jack smiled and nodded his head. He ran up to Emily, who picked him up and smiled at Strauss as her and Hotch walked out. 

“Well, wanna go see Penelope now?”, Emily asked. Jack nodded. “Alright, let’s go.”

Rossi followed behind as they walked to Penelope’s office. Rossi swiped his card and punched in the code and went in. Emily set Jack down and he ran over to Penelope.

“Jack! What are you doing here?!”, Penelope said.

“My daddy had to work.”, Jack said.

“Jessica is sick and Jack got sent home so Aaron brought him here.”, Emily said.

“Why’d you get sent home?”, Penelope asked Jack as Rossi walked over and sat down in a chair. 

Emily pulled up another chair and plopped Jack in her lap, rolling over to Penelope. Jack was silent for a moment. 

“ _Jack_. Why don’t you tell her what you did.”, Emily said.

“I hit David.”, he said, lowering his head.

“What?! You hit _David?_ ”, Penelope said and turned to Emily. “Who’s David?”, she whispered.

“Another kid in his class.”, Emily said to her. “ _And? What else?_ ”, she asked Jack.

“I ripped his art.”, he said.

“And why did you do that?”, she asked.

“He ripped mine first.”, he said.

“That doesn’t make it okay to do the same to his.”, she said.

“I know…”, he said.

“Okay… why did you hit David?”, Penelope asked.

“He hit me first!”, he said.

“What happened?”, Emily asked.

“I was making art. I took some sparkles on the table and then he hit me.”, he said.

“Was he using the sparkles when you took them?”, Penelope asked.

“No. They were on the table and I took them and he hit me.”, he said.

“Why would he do that?”, Penelope asked.

“I don’t know.”, he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Did you hit him right after that?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah...”, he said.

“It’s not okay to hit people, Jack.”, Emily said.

“But _he_ did!”, he said.

“I know but if someone hits you, don’t hit back. Just go tell a teacher, okay?”, Emily said.

“But daddy said to.”, he said.

“Daddy told you to hit someone back?”, Emily asked, confused.

“He said to fend myself if someone hurts me.”, he said.

Emily and Penelope tried to hold back their giggles while Rossi didn’t bother. 

“Do you mean _‘defend’?_ ”, she asked.

“Uh huh.”, he said.

“Okay, well that’s true. If someone hurts you, you should protect yourself but if a kid at school hits you once or they stop, then don’t hit back. Just go tell a teacher what happened. You should only call out for help or hit back if it’s a bad person trying to hurt you, or someone doesn’t leave you alone okay? Especially if they don’t stop.”, she said.

“Am I in trouble?”, he asked.

“Well, I think your daddy and I will talk about that later and with your mommy but... I’ll tell him what you told me. This could maybe just be a warning because you thought you were doing the right thing. But now you know and you won’t do it again, right?”, she asked.

“Uh huh... I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Okay. Good. Make sure you tell your daddy that too later.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Alright. Thank you for telling us the truth.”, she said, giving him a kiss on the head.

“I see you looking at these M&M’s... you want some?”, Penelope asked Jack. He turned around and looked at Emily who thought about it and sighed, nodding her head. 

He held out his hands and let Penelope pour a bunch of the candy in them. He tossed almost all of it in his mouth at once but left a few and offered them to Emily, who took them. 

After a little bit of playing with Penelope’s little toys and chatting, Jack started to get sleepy and leaned back into Emily more. 

“Hey, buddy, you tired?”, she asked.

“Mmhmm.”, he said, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s about your nap time, huh? Oh. No. It’s actually a couple hours or so past it. Alright, let’s bring you back to daddy’s office and you can take a nap there on the couch, alright?”, she said. She felt him nod and picked him up as she rose from the chair and stood up.

Jack rested his head over her shoulder and held on with his arms wrapped around her neck and legs wrapped around her body.

“Need any help with anything?”, Penelope asked.

“No, we’re all good. Thank you for letting us hangout in here and entertaining him.”, Emily said.

“Always my pleasure, mister!”, Penelope said, booping Jack’s nose.

“Alright, come on.”, Emily said to him walking to the door with Rossi.

They stepped out and went back into the bullpen, heading up over to her desk to grab some papers. “I’m gonna bring these up and work in Aaron’s office while Jack naps on the couch since he’s not out of his meeting yet.”, Emily said, going up steps to his office.

“Aright. You need anything?”, Rossi asked.

“No. I think we’re all good. Thanks.”, she smiled.

“No problem. Just lemme know.”, Rossi said, walking back to his office.

Emily stepped into Hotch’s and placed her papers on his desk on his side. She turned on a lamp, switching the main light off. She went over a few feet to the couch and laid Jack down, making sure his head was on the little pillow, and took his shoes off. Stroking the top of his head, she gave him a kiss and whispered, “You take a good nap and I’ll be here. Daddy will come back in soon, okay?”

“Okay.”, he barely got out, too sleepy to form words well, with his eyes closed.

Emily sat down at Hotch’s desk and started doing some of the work she had left. An hour later, Hotch walked into his office and sighed loudly. He started to open his mouth but Emily shushed him and pointed to Jack, asleep on the couch. He smiled when he looked over at him and walked up to Emily, sitting in his chair.

“Excuse me but... I believe you’re in my seat.”, he whispered, crossing his arms.

“Ohhh. _Your_ seat, huh?”, she said.

“Mmhmm.”, he said.

“Do you own this seat?”, she quirked an eyebrow.

“Well... my name is on this...”, he pointed to the engraved name plate on his desk, “...so it’s on the desk and the chair is at the desk and... yeah. So... yeah. Get up.”, he said.

“Make me.”, she said, leaning back in his chair.

He laughed and reached for her hands, helping her up and pulling her in for a hug. “Thank you for watching him.”, he said.

“I do it all the time. He lives with us. It’s nothing out of the ordinary.”, she laughed.

“I know but it’s your work time and... still. Just- thank you.”, he said.

“You’re welcome but no need to thank me. He told me what happened by the way.”, she said.

“What happened?”, he asked.

“We’ll talk about it later but he’s also going to apologize to you. I honestly don’t think you should go so hard on him. He really seemed to think it was okay to hit back. David hit him first. But I told him to just tell the teacher next time instead of hitting the person back. We’ll get into more details later but he thought he was defending himself based on something you told him before.”, she giggled. 

“What’s so funny?”, he asked, pulling back.

“He said that you told him to _‘fend’_ himself. He forgot the whole word. It was really cute.”, she laughed.

“That’s always such a cute part about this age I think. They understand a lot more words and can say some of them but still mess up on certain ones or shorten them and- it’s just so cute.”, he chuckled.

“Do you have any pictures of yourself from that age or anything?”, she asked.

“Um... _I_ don’t. It’s possible that my mother does... at the old house if she’s still there.”, he nodded, looking down.

“Oh... Aaron... Am I ever going to meet her?”, she asked. He let go of her, mood changing immediately and walking to the other end of his desk, gathering his work. “I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“, she started.

“Did you want to stay in here and just do the rest of your work for today with me and Jack?”, he asked, avoiding the topic she had brought up.

“Sure.”, she said, fidgeting with her hands. “Aaron, I didn’t mean to bring that-“, she started.

“Emily, not now, alright? We aren’t discussing that. Not now, not later, just let it go. I don’t want you meeting her, I don’t want _Jack_ meeting her. _End_ of discussion. Don’t bring it up again.”, he said, his whole body becoming completely still, eyes somehow darkening, and his tone of voice changing instantly to one she’d only heard a few times before. It was one too serious and intimidating to make you want to say anything back. One that chills you. He stared in her eyes for a moment until she became uncomfortable, feeling uneasy. She crossed her arms and shrugged her shoulders up, keeping them there, and lowering her head to look at the ground, breaking contact from him when it became too intense.

She could tell he had been holding back a lot, clenching his jaw and fists. She heard him grab a stack of files and walk out of his office without saying anything else. She waited until he was gone to raise her head and looked over at Jack still asleep on the couch. 

She felt a few tears stinging in her eyes and tried to hold them back as she sat down in the chair again. She couldn’t tell if it was because she felt bad about upsetting him or if it was the way he spoke to her or the news she’d gotten earlier from the doctor and that both of the other things added on really didn’t help. 

She propped her elbows up on the desk and buried her face in her hands, trying to hold back her tears. To her surprise, she was able to. She brought herself back to a normal level and resumed with the work she was doing. 

Soon enough Hotch came back in and she could see his attitude hadn’t changed since he’d walked out. Emily got up from his seat and walked around to the other side, sitting down in one of the chairs and continued working. They stayed completely silent until Jack woke up. Emily got out his coloring book and crayons, letting him sit on the couch and have fun not coloring inside the lines.

When he had to go to the bathroom, Emily needed to stretch her legs. With her and Hotch still not speaking to each other, she got up to take Jack, allowing Hotch to keep focusing. 

She eventually went into JJ’s office with Jack and hung out for a bit until he got bored and Emily took him back to Hotch’s office. When he didn’t want to color anymore, she gave him her phone and let him play two of the games she had for him on it and watch a few episodes of _Garfield_ and _Spongebob_ she had downloaded on it. When Hotch looked up at them, seemingly irritated Emily could tell the sound was distracting for him so she went to Garcia’s to grab a pair of headphones for Jack to use. 

Towards the end of the day, after working silently for the rest of the time in Hotch’s office, Emily finished up and took Jack down to the desks to hangout with Derek. Losing track of time, Hotch had completed everything he had to do for the day and decided to leave early since he wanted to get Jack some dinner and down for bed at his regular time. 

While Emily and Derek were talking and she was rolling around the bullpen in her chair with Jack on her lap, Hotch walked down.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, Emily helping him off her lap, letting him run up to him. 

Hotch leaned down and picked him up with his available arm, holding his briefcase with his other hand. “Hey, buddy. You ready to go?”, Hotch asked. Jack nodded and Emily grabbed her bag.

“So who you rootin’ for?”, Derek asked.

“What?”, Hotch said.

“Lakers or Warriors?”, Derek asked.

“Oh! The game! I forgot that’s on tonight. Thanks for reminding me. I always go for the Lakers.”, Hotch said.

“ _You_ watch any basketball?”, Derek asked, looking over at Emily.

“I’m going for the Warriors.”, she said.

“I like them buuut... I think this season I’m leaning towards the Lakers.”, Derek said.

“We’ll see tonight, I guess.”, Emily said.

“Lakers totally got it.”, Derek said, smug.

“I don’t know about that.”, Emily said.

“How much you wanting to bet?”, Derek asked.

“Nothing. But... you’re goin’ down.”, Emily laughed.

“We’ll see about that.”, Derek laughed.

“I’m hungry.”, Jack said.

“Alright, let’s go.”, Hotch said to him. “Have a goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”, he said to Derek, who waved to them as they all walked out. 

They drove home and when they got there, Hotch went to the kitchen and heated up a pot of Spaghetti O’s for Jack. Emily went to their rooms to gather their laundry and started a load before running a bath for a Jack when he was done eating. While she gave him a bath, Hotch did the dishes and switched the laundry to the dryer.

Once Jack was all clean, Emily helped him pick out pajamas and let him change into them by himself. Ever since had turned 4, he’d wanted to start doing more things “like a big boy”, including getting dressed on his own, coloring by himself, and grabbing his own snack or juice box if he could reach it from the shelf it was on.

Once he was changed and his teeth were brushed, he picked out a book he wanted read to him. He chose a Dr. Seuss book and they’d been working on helping him learn to read more so he loved the rhymes. 

While they were reading, Hotch turned on the basketball game, seeing as how Jack just wanted Emily to read with him that night. He came in to say _goodnight_ after they finished the book and went back out to watch the game. Emily stood a few feet behind the couch, contemplating going over to him and apologizing again but realizing she didn’t need to. _He_ needed to and she was already stressed and upset enough, she just needed some alone time.

She took the clothes out of the dryer when they were done and got changed into her pajamas after folding and putting everything away. She grabbed her second favorite book, _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , to help her escape reality for a bit, and got in bed with it. She found it somewhat distracting when Hotch would cheer for his team every few minutes but she tried to block it out.

At half time, Hotch got up and walked into the bedroom, somewhat prepared to try speaking to Emily for the first time since he’d snapped at her earlier in his office. When he opened the door, he found her in bed with her book, reading intently, not even acknowledging his presence. Almost leaving the door open so he could hear when the game came back on, he stopped in front of it and stared at her. He decided to close it to have it be quiet while they talked. Waiting for her to look up but she didn’t, he ended up walking over to her to apologize but didn’t know how all the time.

He walked over to her side of the bed and stopped right next to her, standing there but she still didn’t look up. He sighed silently and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his hand on her leg. He was sure that would catch her attention but she stayed silent and kept reading so he tried finally speaking.

“Em...”, he said, waiting for a response from her but she gave none and kept her eyes glued to the pages in the book. “Emily... I’m sorry I snapped at you. You didn’t deserve that. You were only trying to ask me something about my mother and then apologize for it when I blew up, which you didn’t even need to do.”, he said. She still didn’t speak. He rubbed her leg and stared straight at her eyes, hoping they would meet his soon. “Honey...”

“You gave me a look.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked, partially confused and partially surprised she was speaking to him but she still didn’t turn to face him.

“You gave me a look.”, she said, finally closing her book and holding onto it in her lap. She looked at him and seemed expressionless at first. Hotch couldn’t read her in the moment which was extremely frustrating for him.

“What look?”, he asked.

“The same look you gave Sean that night I first met him. Right before you pushed him up against the tree.”, she said, staring straight in his eyes.

“Emily... did I scare you?”, he asked.

“Not exactly...”, she said.

“ _Honey_ , did I _scare you?_ ”, he asked, sounding hurt.

“I’m not saying I was scared you were going to hurt me.”, she said.

“But I _scared you?_ ”, he said.

“I don’t know... it was just an intimidating, really intense look you gave me and I’ve only seen it a couple times before, including when it was directed at Sean before you _pushed him up against a tree._ ”, she said.

He brought one leg up, crossed, on the bed and scooted up more, taking her hand.

“Sweetie. I’m _so sorry._ I... I never meant to make you feel that way. I would _never_ hurt you.”, he said.

“I know that. It’s just when you get that look, you change. It’s like you’re a whole different person and you become completely still and your eyes darken and... yeah... it’s a little scary... I know you’d never do anything to me but it’s like the _Aaron_ I know is just gone. And it happens within a split second and... you just become so cold... and I don’t know what to do in that moment...”, she said.

“ _Honey, I’m so sorry_. I didn’t mean to do that. I-“, he started, getting choked up and trying to hold back a couple tears. He turned his head to the side once he could feel a couple coming out.

“Aaron...?”, she said, quietly when he let go of her hand and completely faced away from her. 

“I’m sorry, Em. I just-“, he sniffled, bringing his hands up to his face leaning into them, _crying_ into them.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said, waiting for him to say something but he stayed silent other than some more sniffling. “Aaron, honey.”, she sat up more, behind him and next to him, holding onto his shoulder and leaning her forehead onto the side of his head and stroking his neck on the other side. 

“Emily, I-“, he started.

“Shh... it’s okay. It’s okay, sweetie.”, she said, kissing the side of his head and bringing her hand to it on the other side, holding it closer. 

He dropped his hands and rested them, turning his head to hers but her eyes were closed, leaning into him, trying to comfort him.

“I didn’t want to turn out like my father.”, he said.

“You’re _nothing_ like him.”, she said.

“I _scared you._ ”, he said, voice cracking.

“I’m okay.”, she said.

“Emily, that’s not okay!”, he cried.

“Come here.”, she said, pulling him up onto the bed. She pulled the covers back and they got underneath, laying down. She sat up a tiny bit with the pillows pushed up a little but still laying down partially. 

Hotch curled up next to her while she opened her arms for him, pulling him closer and resting his head on her chest. He wrapped his arm over her, holding on while she stroked his hair and gave him a kiss on his head.

“Emily... I want you to know that I would never _ever_ do anything to hurt you.”, he said.

“I _know_ that. I wasn’t scared of that. I don’t even know if I was scared for _me_ ... I think I was scared for _you_ ... Seeing you get like that. Like I said... it isn’t _you_. You aren’t yourself when that happens.”, she said.

“I’ve tried so hard to-“, he started.

“I know... I know, honey. And you’re _not_ like him. You’re the complete opposite. You’re just- you’re _good_ . You’re so _good_ . There’s so much _good_ in you. There’s no bad...”, she said.

He gripped her side tighter and nuzzled his head on her chest more, letting out some more tears. 

After a little while, he was calmed down and she had continued to stroke his hair and play with it, running her fingers through it and messing it up. 

“You feeling a little better?”, she asked sweetly.

“Mmhmm.”, he nodded.

“Good.”, she softly smiled, not that he could see her but it brought her some comfort to know he was feeling better. He started lightly laughing with his mouth closed and brought his hand to her chest. “What?”, she giggled.

“You’re actually warm right now. You’re always cold.”, he chuckled, kissing her chest. 

“Oh my god.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked.

“I was about to say something so cheesy and so stupid in response to that right now but caught myself.”, she said.

“Tell me.”, he said.

“No.”, she shook her head.

“Tell meee.”, he said.

“Uh uh.”, she said.

“Come onnnn.”, he begged.

“ _Fine_... Don’t rub it in my face.”, she said.

“I promise.”, he said, kissing her chest again.

She sighed, “I was gonna say... I’m warm right now because you warm my heart.”

Right after she said that, Hotch squeezed her tight, bringing his lips to her chest again. “You warm my heart _everyday_ , hun.”, he said.

She stroked his hair all the way down as he kept kissing her chest and she tried to look at him. “Hey...”, she said softly.

“Remember that time, before we were together, I gave you a giant hickey right here?”, he asked, kissing the area on top of her breast.

“How could I forget? It was there for days.”, she laughed. He started kissing and eventually sucking on her soft skin in the same place and she looked down at him. “And now you’re leaving another one.”, she chuckled.

He started moving his hand, across her, up and down her side, rubbing it, while he continued kissing her chest and breasts, and almost up to her neck. He eventually brought his hand to her waist and slid it up, under her tank top. He then grabbed her breast and started massaging it.

Normally, Emily would be moaning and getting into it more but suddenly, all she could think about was her appointment the next day, the reason for it, what the results might be and felt strange having him touch that specific part of her because of it. But she tried not to worry like the doctor said and tried to clear her mind and enjoy everything Hotch was doing for her in that moment. 

She continued to stroke his hair and closed her eyes, trying to focus on everything she felt that he was doing but for some reason, she _didn’t_ feel anything. It was doing _nothing_ for her then. 

In hopes of getting in the mood more, Emily sat up and pulled her tank top off, pulling Hotch up and on top of her. Before he leaned down for a kiss, he took his own shirt off. Once he leaned back down, on top of her and their lips met, Emily became impatient and grabbed the waistband of his pants and slid them down.

“Getting straight to it, huh?”, Hotch chuckled, going for _her_ pants right after.

She didn’t answer him but instead, grabbed his face and crashed her lips onto his. After a minute, she went for her underwear and slipped them off fast before going for his boxers. She tossed them off the bed and grabbed him, guiding him towards her entrance. 

As soon as he was inside her, she was hoping she would feel _something_ , but still there was nothing. However, _he_ was feeling everything, including with his hands, wandering all over her body. While moving his hips in and out, he let out a low moan and whispered in her ear, “I could get used to fighting more if the makeup sex is this good everytime.”, he chuckled.

“Mmhm.”, Emily said, still trying so hard to get herself to feel anything.

After a while of Hotch enjoying himself, Emily zoned out. Her mind went back to what was going to happen the next day, thinking about how _long_ she’d have to wait for the results, and what she would tell Hotch if they weren’t so good.

With Emily forgetting about everything they were doing in the moment, Hotch could tell something was wrong. He stopped kissing her neck and moving in and out of her, to pull back and look at her.

“Are you okay?”, he asked out of breath, snapping Emily back to the moment they were sharing.

“Huh- What?”, she asked.

“Are you _okay?_ ”, he asked again, seeming a bit more concerned, studying her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Why’d you stop?”, she said.

“You’re just really quiet and not moving that much.”, he said.

“I’m sorry, I was just a little distracted.”, she said.

“Do you wanna stop?”, he asked.

“ _What?_ No, no, no.”, she said.

“Well, what are you distracted by?”, he asked.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”, she said.

“Honey, we can stop and talk about what’s on your mind.”, he said.

“No. I don’t want to stop. I want _you_.”, she said.

“You were just laying there...”, he said.

“ _Aaron... shhh_.” , she said, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Em, we-“, he started but she opened her mouth and shot her tongue in his. “ _Em_ , are you _sure_ you’re okay? I don’t mind if you wanna stop. It’s alright, _really_.”

“No, I don’t wanna stop.”, she said, kissing him and starting to move her hips in hopes she may actually get turned on.

When he went back to kissing her neck, he even kissed behind her ear, her favorite spot but it still wasn’t doing anything for her. 

She started to tear up, partially out of frustration, partially out of fear for the next day, and partially out of sadness and guilt for not telling Hotch about the mammogram. 

Not wanting him to hear her or think something was wrong again, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held the back of his head, stroking it. She buried her face into the side of his neck and kissed it, holding onto him tight, shifting her focus to how much she loved him.

“Ah god, Em. Fuck, I’m gonna come.”, he grunted.

“‘Me too.”, she lied.

He brought his hand down to her and she knew even with how he was always able to find and hit just the right spot for her, nothing was going to work for that night. So she decided to just let him think it had. She had never done it before or even needed to with him but she felt she had to this time if she couldn’t get there.

She let out small moans and told him how good it felt and tried to make him feel it. When he finally let go, she faked doing the same, annoyed with herself for not being able to actually get there and feeling bad for lying to him about one _more_ thing.

He collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her neck where he planted more kisses, staying there even after pulling out. She scratched the back of his head in his hair, running her fingers along his back, trying to soothe him.

After her still being so quiet for a while, Hotch got worried again and pulled his face back to look her in the eyes, stroking her hair. 

“Are you alright, hun?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”, she said.

He stared at her, trying to read her again, knowing _something_ was off. “Was that good for _you?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Of course it was_.”, she said, running her hand along his face and the other on his arm.

“Really?”, he asked.

“ _Yeah_. It was great.”, she softly smiled and pulled him down for a soft kiss. 

“Em, _are you alright?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Aaron_ , I told you. _I’m fine_.”, she said.

“You’re just acting kind of... off.”, he said.

“Please don’t profile me right now, Aaron.”, she said, lightly nudging him off of her and turned on her side, back facing him.

He rolled off of her and sat still for a moment. “Emily, I’m not trying to profile you. I’m your boyfriend and you seem upset and distracted and I just wanna know what’s going on.”, he said.

She reached back for him and scooted him closer. She took his hand and pulled it over her side, holding it in her own, up to her chest. She stroked it with her thumb and squeezed it tight. 

“Babe, what’s going on?”, he asked quietly, spooning her and resting his head over her shoulder.

“Nothing.”, she said.

“ _Em_.”, he said.

“ _Seriously_ , Aaron. I swear. I’m fine. Just let it go and go to bed, okay?”, she said.

“Alright... fine...”, he said, starting to snuggle into her more until he remembered the tv was still on and wanted to check to see who won the game. 

“Wait, where are you going?”, she asked as he got up and pulled on his boxers.

“Tv. I’ll be right back. Don’t miss me too much.”, he chuckled.

She heard the tv turn off and all of a sudden watched him walk back in the bedroom and shut the door. As soon as it was closed, he ran over to the bed and jumped on it and got on top of her, making her squeal and giggle when he started kissing her cheeks and behind her ear, finally getting a reaction from her.

“We won!”, he said.

“Shhh. Don’t wake Jack up.”, she said.

“We won!”, he whispered, bouncing on his knees. 

“Shut up.”, she said.

“You’re just mad because me and Derek were right. The Lakers are better than the Warriors.”, he smiled.

“Whatever.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine, fine. They’re good too I guess.”, he said, rolling _his_ eyes.

“They _are!_ ”, she said.

“Okay, hun.”, he said, giving her another kiss on the cheek and laying down, getting under the covers and scooting up behind her.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Alright, I’m sorry. The Warriors _are_ good... but the Lakers are better.”, he laughed.

“It’s not about that...”, she said.

“Oh. Okay. What’s it about?”, he asked.

“I know you said we weren’t going to talk about it again but I feel like we need to.”, she said.

“Em... I don’t want to talk about this right now. Or ever. I already told you that.”, he said.

“This is a relationship. We have to talk about it. She’s your mother. That’s important.”, she said.

“Emily, seriously.”, he said.

“Aaron, when we have a child, she’s gonna want to know about her grandparents. Now, you said that your father’s dead and even if he wasn’t, we wouldn’t want her to meet him anyways. But your mother is alive... I think we should talk about her. Besides, I know pretty much nothing about her.”, she said.

“You wanna know about her? Fine. Here’s what I know. She never did anything for us. She never cooked. She never played with us. She never tucked us into bed. She never showed up to any of my football games when I was in high school. She wasn’t there at my graduation. And she never did anything to stop my father from hurting us. That’s pretty much all there is to know. That’s pretty much all _I_ know. And she never tried to contact me or reach out after I left. Is that what you wanted to hear?”, he asked.

“Why didn’t she do anything...?”, Emily asked quietly and cautiously after pausing for a few seconds, glad she wasn’t turned around to see the look on his face.

He sighed, “I’ve been asking myself that question for years.”

“Have _you_ ever thought about reaching out?”, she asked.

“No. And it’s not gonna happen. Jack’s never met her and I don’t want our kid meeting her either, alright?”, he said.

“Well what are we going to tell her? That her grandma is just... _dead?_ ”, she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”, he said.

“Aaron, that’s _horrible_ . You can’t lie about that. That’s- that’s _awful_.”, she said.

“Well, it might not be a lie.”, he said.

“What do you mean _‘might not’?_ ”, she asked.

“I mean I don’t know.”, he said.

Emily turned around fast and sat up on her elbow as he did the same.

“Are you saying you seriously don’t know if your own mother is dead or not?”, she asked.

“It’s not like I’ve reached out or anything.”, he said.

“Aaron!”, she said.

“Emily, I have no place for that woman in my life.”, he said.

“I can’t believe you.”, she said.

“Listen, your childhood was better than mine. You had it easier.”, he said.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”, she said.

“You had money, your parents loved you, you were safe, you grew up traveling around the world, you had an amazing education. Your childhood was very different from mine. I got a regular public high school with teachers who didn’t believe in me even though I tried to work so hard so I could make something of myself. I worked two jobs, I helped take care of Sean, I took beatings almost everyday and even helped take care of my mother, who was sick. But even before she got sick and after, she didn’t do _shit_ . I only got to college because _I_ paid for part of it and the rest was from scholarships for athletics _and_ academics. You didn’t have to do anything! Would you even be where you are now if your parents didn’t do what they did? If they didn’t have money? If they didn’t know people? Or even if your boyfriend hadn’t gotten you connections to Interpol and the FBI?! You got everything handed to you and had this perfect life and perfect _everything!_ Not everyone does! So excuse me for wanting to move on from my past and never look back.”, he said so fast, he didn’t have a moment to let his brain catch up to his mouth and let everything out before he could stop it. He noticed the tears forming in her eyes and instantly felt horrible. “Em...”, he said, reaching for her but she pulled away.

She reached for her clothes and put them on before going to the closet and shut the door. While she was changing into her jogging leggings, clean tank top and sports bra, along with some running shoes, Hotch knocked on the door.

“Emily, I’m sorry, that’s not-“, he sighed. “Please just come out. I didn’t mean all of that. I-“, he said and dropped his head. “Honey, _please_.” She threw her hair up into a ponytail and walked out, brushing past him, walking to the front door. “Emily, what are you doing? Please just stay here and we can talk.”, he said, reaching for her arm gently.

She pulled it away instantly and snapped, turning to him before she reached for the door. “Don’t!”, she said with fire in her eyes before turning back around and walked out the door. She would have slammed it but didn’t want to wake up Jack. 

For the next hour, Hotch sat in bed, worrying about Emily. He knew she was probably fine but after the first 30 minutes, he was about to call her but finally realized, she had left her phone at home. He knew she would hope he’d be asleep when she got back but he wasn’t going to sleep until he knew she was back home safe. He came up with a whole page length of an apology in his head, hoping she would let him say it to her but knew she’d probably ignore him for the rest of the night.

Finally, an hour later, Emily walked through the front door and Hotch instantly got out of bed. She walked in the bedroom without looking at him and went to the drawers to grab a change of clothes. 

“You were gone for an hour and a half.”, he said calmly at first, waiting for her to say something but she didn’t. “You didn’t bring your phone or _anything_ with you. Do you know how worried I was?! Do you have _any_ clue?! What if you got hurt? What if someone hurt you or took you or you weren’t okay?! Don’t _ever_ do that again!”, he said. She took her shoes off and walked past him, still ignoring him. “Do you _hear me?!_ Em, please… please don’t do that again. I was genuinely concerned, hun. At least take your phone.”, he said, but she walked into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her, not saying a word. “Emily...”, he said, placing his hand flat on the door, leaning and resting his forehead on it.

Emily turned the shower on, starting the hot water while she took her clothes off. Before she got in, she stopped and looked in the mirror. She placed her left hand on her hip and reached with her right to feel in her left armpit. She paused and took a deep breath before repeating on the other side, checking for lumps. She checked above and below her collarbone and put her hands behind her head, one at a time and felt around some more. She turned from side to side trying to notice any changes but it all looked normal to her. 

Once she stood there for a moment, taking another deep breath, trying to tell herself she was okay and that she probably didn’t have breast cancer, she walked to the shower. 

After she was out, she got changed and came out. Hotch was sitting on the edge of the bed facing her, waiting for her to come out just like she knew he probably would be.

She walked over and waited for him to move since he was on her side. She stared him right in the eyes and he reached for her hand but she quickly pulled it away from his. 

“ _Don’t_ touch me!”, she said, making him bring his hand back to his lap and lower his head. “Move.”, she said quietly.

“Emily, please. We need to-“, he started.

“Get off my side. _Now_.”, she said.

“Honey, I am-“, he started again.

“God, Aaron, please just move.”, she said, starting to cry but looked up at the ceiling.

“Babe, I didn’t mean-“, he started, yet again.

“I can’t _do this right now._ Just _move_.”, she cried.

“ _No_ , we can’t just ignore this. We need to talk it out. Just let me explain. Let me apologize.”, he said.

“ _Dammit, Aaron._ ”, she said, voice wobbly, grabbing her pillow and phone, walking out to the closet outside of their room and getting a blanket.

She went to the couch and threw the pillow on it, climbing on top and covering herself with a blanket. She quickly fell asleep after setting an alarm, not surprising herself at all.

When she woke up the next morning from her phone going off, she silenced it and looked at what was on top of her. When she saw an extra blanket, she became confused.

Hotch came out of their room and walked over to her, hesitantly lifting her legs and laying them on his lap when he sat down. He rubbed them and looked at her.

“You get cold easily.”, he said with a soft yet sad smile, letting her know he put the extra blanket on top when she was asleep. It warmed her heart but she wouldn’t let him know that.

She laid her head back on the pillow and sighed before changing her mind and sitting up next to him, wrapping her arms around him. He squeezed her tight in response and kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m sorry, hun. I didn’t mean what I said last night. I love you so much. None of what I said about you was true or how I felt. I was just... angry.”, he said, rubbing her back and resting his head on hers. “I don’t think any of those things. I know your childhood wasn’t easy and I know how hard you worked. I know things weren’t handed to you. It was way out of line for me to say that. I didn’t mean any of it.”, he said. 

Emily nodded her head and nuzzled it into him more. “I’m still mad.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, giving her another kiss on the head. “That’s okay.”

“But I love you too.”, she said.

“Thank god.”, he chuckled.

“I’m sorry I slept on the couch last night but seriously, Aaron. Next time when I tell you to just move on to your side, just do it. It means that I don’t wanna talk about it right now but I will the next day, alright? I just needed some time and space for the night and when you can’t give me that, it feels like you aren’t respecting my boundaries.”, she said.

“Did I make you feel unsafe?”, he asked, confused.

“No, not like that. Ugh, how do I explain this. Um... okay. In simpler terms... It makes me feel like you don’t think my feelings are important. Or... it felt like you didn’t care that I needed space. That type of boundary. But not in the sense where I felt unsafe. It wasn’t just physical space I needed. It was emotional? I guess? I told you that you have never made me feel unsafe around you or scared me in that sense. I already told you that, okay? I’ve never been scared you were going to hurt me. But you just didn’t listen when I told you I needed space from you last night. As in, no talking, no cuddling, no kisses, no apologies because... _no talking._ ”, she said.

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll listen next time.”, he nodded. “I just felt so bad. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was. I sounded like such a jackass.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, you kind of were.”, she laughed with him.

He gave her another squeeze and kiss on the head. “Are we good now?”, he asked.

“Well, like you said, you _were_ kind of a jackass sooo... I think you need to make it up to me somehow.”, she said, pulling back and smirking, raising one eyebrow. 

“Alright, fine.”, he laughed. “What were you thinking?”

“Well, first...”, she said, looking from his lips to his eyes and moving in closer until they met and she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

He could feel her smiling and even though he couldn’t see it, it made his own lips spread into one. Eventually, it broke their kiss and they pressed their foreheads to each other’s. 

While he held her with his arms around her back, she brought one of her hands the back of his head and scratched it. 

“What else can I do for you?”, he smiled and gazed into her eyes.

“Well, someone isn’t awake yet, so...”, she grinned, moving her lips into his again.

“Mmm. Mmhmmm.”, he said. He reached for her hips, about to pick her up when all of a sudden they heard Jack’s door open and looked over at him walking out of his room, rubbing his eyes.

“Rain check?”, she sighed, looking back at Hotch.

“Yeah.”, he nodded.

Both of them stood up and Emily walked over to Jack while Hotch started some coffee.

Later that day, Emily walked into Hotch’s office at work as she was heading out for her appointment.

“Hey, you leaving?”, he asked, getting up.

“Yeah. I wanted to see if I should just tell Jessica I’m picking up Jack or come back here after.”, she said.

“If you wanna pick up Jack, go for it. It’s pretty dead here- well, you know what I mean. There’s no actual dead bodies which is why it’s dead here. I mean- you know what I mean.”, he laughed. “He seemed to have fun being with us yesterday but don’t bring him back here. Just go home. Yesterday was a special occasion I guess you could say.”, he chuckled.

“Alright, I love you. I’ll let you know when we’re home.”, she said, giving him a quick kiss.

“Love you, too. Drive safe. Have a good appointment.”, he said.

She almost started to frown but knew he’d catch it so she smiled and ran her hand down his arm as she walked away. 

She felt nothing but anxiety the whole time during the appointment. She tried to put it out of her mind when she picked up Jack from preschool and drove home. 

They watched a movie together and he helped her make dinner for when Hotch got home. He was surprised to see one of his favorite meals made, homemade spaghetti and meatballs which Jack helped ball up before they cooked them and helped stir the pasta.

After dinner, Emily did the dishes while Hotch got changed. He came out to her and grabbed her waist from behind, kissing her cheek.

“How was the rest of the day at work?”, she asked.

“Boring. Very boring. But that means there’s no serial killer we need to track down which is a good thing so.”, he said, giving her another kiss.

“Hey, did you get the mail on your way up? Haley was going to send Jack a postcard with a picture of the Empire State Building on it.”, she asked.

“Yeah. Let me check.”, he said, letting go of her and walking to the table, searching through the pile of mail.

“Hey, it’s good Haley agreed about the whole Jack situation. I mean he _did_ think he was doing the right thing but next time we should definitely ground him, right?”, she asked. He was silent for a moment as she finished the dishes, turning the water off and drying her hands, walking over to him. “Aaron?”

He was looking down at an envelope and she could see what it was. Once she walked up to him, she stopped and they both looked at each other at the same time. He held up the piece of mail and she couldn’t read him. She couldn’t tell what he was feeling in the moment but he was upset of some kind, definitely mixed with confusion.

“I thought you said that last week you went to see the gynecologist, _not_ to get a mammogram.”, he said.

“Well... I...”, she said, not quite sure what to say.

“So why is there a letter from the place you get your mammogram done?”, he asked.

“I- I don’t know.”, she lied.

“Don’t lie to me, Em.”, he said.

“I honestly don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet. How should I know if I haven’t opened it yet?”, she asked.

“Open it.”, he said, handing it to her.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Open it, Emily.”, he said.

She sighed and took it from him and tore it open, staring at what she knew it was. Her results from the week before.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“It’s _nothing_.”, she rolled her eyes slightly.

He took it from her hand and looked at it, beginning to tear up, which made her feel even worse.

“Emily...”, he said, looking up at her.

“Aaron, please don’t cry, okay? Please. I can’t handle that right now.”, she said, putting her hands up.

“Were you even gonna tell me?”, he asked.

“Look, the doctor said I shouldn’t worry unless there was something to worry _about_. Which there isn’t yet. You freak out when I get a cold. I knew you’d be hysterical if you found out that my mammogram results were inconclusive.”, she said, trying to keep it together.

“For good, _reason_ . _Emily_ ... this is _scary_ ... This is scary and you shouldn’t have to be scared alone. You should’ve told me. We are _partners_ . We _share things_. We don’t hide them and lie to each other. That’s not how we work.”, he said.

“I’m sorry... I guess I just thought that maybe it wouldn’t seem as real or as serious if less people knew about it... That by telling people about it, meant... making it feel real...”, she said.

“Does anyone know?”, he asked.

“JJ. But I didn’t say much. I mean, I also don’t _know_ much.”, she said, looking down.

“Hey.”, he said softly, getting her attention. “You’re _allowed_ to freak out a little. It’s normal and you have every right to. No one expects you to hold it in.”, he said.

“Are _you_ not freaking out right now?”, she asked.

“Oh, _I am_. I’m just trying to stay calm for you... Come here.”, he said, pulling her into him and wrapping their arms around each other. 

“What if I have cancer? What if-“, she sniffled, resting her head on his shoulder with her face buried in his neck.

“I don’t think you do. But if you did or you were sick in any way... we’d fight it, okay? But I doubt that’s the case. This happens a lot. It’s most likely nothing but they just wanna be sure.”, he said, growing quiet before speaking again. “It’s usually more obvious if it _is_ cancer...”, he said.

“How do you know?”, she asked.

He rubbed her back and sighed. “Because my mom had it.”, he said.

“What?”, she said.

“Stage 3 when they found it. It was bad. Like I said... she was sick. For a while. I took care of her. I’ve been through it. I know how to do that. So if that’s the case right now... I can do it but I doubt it is and I’d like to believe it’s not.”, he said.

She didn’t know what to say in response to that so she rubbed his chest and kissed his neck. She rested it back on his shoulder and nuzzled it in more.

“How long...?”, she asked him.

“We found it when I was about... 11... maybe 12? It went away for a few years, she was still really weak for a while but eventually got better. But then it came back right when I was starting high school and it was worse that time. It ended up spreading... It was metastatic breast cancer. But I promised myself and Sean that I wouldn’t leave if she was still really sick so I was glad that she seemed to be better by the time I graduated. She wasn’t quite in remission but good enough for about a year.”, he said.

“I’m so sorry...”, she said.

“It’s fine. But that’s why I said that I don’t know where she’s at, how she is, what she’s doing. Even after my father died, she never reached out. Sean went to the service but I couldn’t bring myself to, especially knowing that she would be there.”, he said.

“How old were you then?”, she asked.

“Not too long after I started law school so... 23 maybe? I was young.”, he said.

“Do you ever regret it? Not going?”, she asked.

“I’ve thought about it sometimes but no. Sean went and I don’t know how... but no, I don’t regret it.”, he said.

“Thank you... for... sharing that... opening up. I’m here for you.”, she said.

“I know. I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said.

She didn’t know what else to say so she just nodded and squeezed him tighter. After a while, they tucked Jack into bed before going into their room and falling asleep in their own.

The next day at work, Emily got a call from the doctor while she was in Hotch’s office, having lunch with him.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“It’s the doctor.”, she said.

“Pick it up!”, he said, setting his sandwich down and walking around his desk to sit next to her.

“Hello?”, she said, answering the phone. “Yes... oh... okay... _really?_ Thank you. Thank you so much... No, no, I don’t think so... Alright... thank you... have a good day. Bye.”

“So?!”, Hotch asked, impatiently.

“Everything is all normal.”, she let out half a laugh of relief.

“Oh, thank god.”, he said, grabbing her and holding her tight. “Oh god, I’m so glad.”, he sighed, kissing the side of her head. “That was so soon.”

“I know. I thought they only call you to tell you anything if it’s bad news but I guess not this time.”, she smiled, pulling back.

“I love you so much, hun. I’m glad everything’s okay.”, he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

“Me too.”, she softly smiled before giving him a kiss. “How about we celebrate tonight? You still need to make it up to me because of everything you said the other night. Remember?”, she asked, bringing her lips to his.

“Mmmm.”, he said into her lips when all of a sudden, they were interrupted again by JJ knocking on his door. He sighed and took his hand off Emily’s leg that he’d been rubbing. “Come in.”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but we got a case. Conference room in 5.”, she said.

“Got it.”, Hotch nodded down, letting JJ close the door behind her on her way out.

“Well... my hotel room or yours tonight?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t even know if I’ll be in the mood.”, he sighed.

“Speaking of that...”, she said.

“What?”, he looked at her.

“Don’t be mad.”, she said.

“ _What?_ ”, he asked again.

“A couple nights ago... I also wasn’t really in the mood but I was _trying_ to get into the mood but I just couldn’t. I was like _almost_ there but... not quite so... I might’ve just... helped you out...”, she said.

“What does _that_ mean?”, he asked.

“I didn’t _actually_ finish, I just let you _think_ I did...”, she said, afraid of what his response would be.

“ _What?!_ ”, he said.

“I’m sorry! I really wanted to but I just- I think I was distracted by the news with the doctor and you touching me there made me think of it and-“, she said.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I told you we could stop.”, he said.

“Because I wanted to keep going. I thought I could get there. I really wanted to. I’m sorry... Are you mad?”, she asked.

“No. I just feel bad. That was very convincing...”, he said.

“Yeah, girls can do that pretty well.”, she chuckled quietly.

“Have you ever done that before?”, he asked sad.

“Yeah, a few times.”, she said.

“ _What?!_ ”, he asked, even more upset.

“Oh, no! Not with you, honey! Not with you!”, she said, touching his face.

“That makes me feel... icky.”, he said.

“No... don’t. You were so close and I just... I wanted you to be able to finish. It’s not super hard for me to do.”, she chuckled again. “It’s not a big deal. Really.”

“Do girls do that a lot?”, he asked.

“Sometimes. Usually just if we get bored with it or just can’t get there. It’s frustrating and then we feel bad for you. Not like you’re sad and pathetic but like... I didn’t want you to feel bad and think that you couldn’t make me feel anything because it wasn’t your fault.”, she said.

“If that happens again, please just tell me and we can finish later.”, he said.

“But you were so close and I thought I was too.”, she said.

“Ugh. God, _Em_.”, he groaned, putting his face in his hands.

“Please don’t be mad.”, she said.

“Promise you will tell me if it happens again?”, he asked.

“Fine. I promise...”, she sighed. “So... my room or yours tonight?”

* * *

**sorry about the late update with this chapter. with the holidays and school, it's been a little busy but winter break starts this weekend so more chapters to come quicker! also some big stuff happening very soon and then some exciting very soon after that so i'm really excited for those. once again, reviews are much appreciated and i take everything into consideration! thank you guys :)**   
  



	86. Anniversary in New York

**Chapter 86**

  
  
  


**fair warning: decent amount of smut included in this chapter**

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The next Saturday, Emily, Hotch, and Jack were getting ready to visit Haley and Tom at their place in New York for Easter. They were packing up everything along with their gifts for each other for their anniversary that day.

“Emily?”, Hotch called from the closet, grabbing the gifts he’d been hiding and putting them in his bag quick.

“In here.”, she said, in the bathroom as he walked over to it.

“Hey, you almost ready?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she smiled walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. She gave him a kiss and smiled again as she pulled back. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary, hun.”, he said, giving her another kiss.

“Ugh, I can’t wait till we get to the hotel.”, she said.

“Oh yeah?”, he smirked.

“Mmhmm.”, she said, leaning in for another kiss.

“Will you hand me my razor?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because I don’t want you to shave. I’ve told you so many times. You look sexy with the beard.”, she said, running her hand along it.

“You still want me to keep it?”, he chuckled.

“Yes!”, she said.

“Okay! Fine!”, he laughed. She smiled in response and he gave her one last kiss before he released her. “I’m gonna go see if Jack is ready.”

“Alright, don’t come back in until I’m out. I have a couple things I need to pack that you can’t see yet.”, she said.

“Oooo... presents?”, he grinned.

“ _Maybe_.”, she said.

“Alright. I’ll be sure to stay out there then.”, he said, walking out and closing the door behind him. “Hey, Jack?”, he called out, going to his door and knocking.

“Yeah?”, he heard Jack say.

Hotch opened his door and didn’t see Jack, looking around confused. “Where are you?”, he asked.

“I’m on the potty.”, Jack said, from the bathroom.

“Oh, okay. Well, we’re almost ready to go so come on.”, Hotch said.

“I’m going number two.”, Jack said.

“ _Oh. Okay._ Sorry, buddy. Just...”, he started as Emily walked out and he looked over at her and laughed as he continued, “... take your time.”, he said quietly.

“What?”, she asked.

“He’s going _number two_.”, he chuckled.

“Ah. Well... do you want me to take the bags down to the car?”, she asked.

“Yeah, that’d be great. I’m sure he’s almost done and we can hit the road.”, he said.

“Alright, I’ll go grab them.”, she said.

“Thanks, hun.”, he said.

Once, they had the car packed and ready, they headed to Haley and Tom’s place. After close to four hours, they finally arrived and woke Jack up from a nap that they were surprised he was able to take. They got out of the car and grabbed Jack’s bags, helping him out of the car seat. He was still sleepy until he heard Haley’s voice.

“Need some help with that?”, Haley said.

Jack looked over and saw her, immediately wiggling out of Emily’s arms and running over to Haley with open arms.

“Mommy!”, he said.

“Hi sweetie! Oh! I missed you so much!”, she said, picking him up and squeezing him tight.

“I have a present.”, Jack said.

“You _do?_ ”, she said.

“It’s in my bag.”, he said.

“Well, let’s take it inside and you can show me.”, she said, walking over to Hotch.

“ _Hey_ , how _are_ you?”, he said with a smile, giving her a one armed hug, holding Jack’s bag with his clothes in his other.

“Good! It’s really great to see you guys.”, she said.

“It hasn’t been _that_ long.”, Emily said, walking up to Haley, holding Jack’s backpack with his art and books in it.

“ _Hey, you_.”, Haley said, giving Emily a hug.

“God this is _such_ a _nice place._ You must love it here.”, Emily said.

“It’s amazing, yeah. Let me give you guys a little tour and Jack, Tom is out in the backyard at the grill and guess what he’s making?”, Haley said.

“Umm...”, he said, trying to think.

“Hot dogs!”, she said and his face lit up.

“I want one!”, he said.

“Well, let’s go see if they’re ready then!”, she said, starting to turn around and walk inside. “Come on, you guys can just set his bags down by the front door inside.”

They walked up steps and inside, setting his bags down like she said and following her out back.

“Hey, little man!”, Tom said as Jack ran over to him and gave him a high five before picking him up and dangling him off his shoulder. “Hey guys.”, he said, keeping Jack hanging there, making him laugh.

“Hey, how you doin’ man. _Really_ nice place.”, Hotch said, looking all around.

“Thank you, yeah. Um, did you guys wanna stay for some hot dogs? I also got some patties I can throw on.”, Tom said.

“Oh, we’d love to but we were gonna get checked into the hotel and maybe go grab a bite to eat at this place I’ve been telling Emily about. Some of the best pizza I’ve ever had and then maybe rest for a bit. Jack was up kinda late last night and it was a long week of work. I might just take a nap when we get there before we go eat actually.”, Hotch laughed.

“Yeah, New York is kinda known for our giant slices. Hard to find a bad pizza place here.”,

Tom said .

“Oh, right. It’s your guys’ anniversary today. Yeah, go rest and eat and- it’s totally fine. We’ll have fun tomorrow, right, Jack?”, she said.

“Yeah!”, he said, still hanging upside down off Tom’s shoulder.

“Thanks. Sorry to dip out right away. I might even just pass out when we get to the hotel too.”, Emily said.

“No, no! It’s no worries. I’ll show you guys the rest of the place tomorrow when we have the Easter egg hunt. Go rest, seriously.”, Haley said.

“Easter eggs?! With chocolate?!”, Jack said.

“Of course! Are there any other kinds?”, Haley said as Tom set Jack down.

“Can I have some now?”, Jack asked.

“You have to wait till tomorrow, buddy. But don’t worry. We have some extra chocolate bunnies too we’ll bring by.”, Hotch said, bending down.

Jack jumped up and down with excitement and ran over to Hotch, giving him and Emily a hug _goodbye_. 

“Do you guys need directions or anything at all?”, Haley asked.

“Oh, no, I think we got it. Thank you though. Um, just call us if you guys need anything. I’ll keep my phone on as usual so if you need to reach me for anything.”, Hotch said.

“Sure thing. We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Oh and drive safe! Traffic here is-“, Haley started.

“We do high speed chases when going after serial killers.”, Hotch laughed. 

“Right. You’re pretty advanced with driving. Still. Drive safe.”, Haley chuckled.

“We will, thanks. See you tomorrow. Have fun, buddy.”, Hotch said as he and Emily hopped in the car and headed towards the hotel.

After a few minutes of driving, Emily looked over at Hotch and threw her head back on the seat and smiled.

“What?”, he chuckled, keeping his eyes on the road.

“It’s been two years. I’m gazing at my boyfriend of two years, thinking about how the past two years have been amazing. _Two years, Aaron_.”, she said, taking the hand he wasn’t using to drive at the moment.

“Babe, I need that hand to drive.”, he said.

“You’re a leftie. you’re fine.”, she said.

“Still.”, he said.

“You weren’t using it just _now_.”, she said.

“Yes, but I really _should_ have both hands on the wheel, especially _here_.”, he said.

“Well, then that’s your fault for not driving with both hands in the first place.”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he laughed.

“ _Fine_.”, she said and gave his hand a kiss before setting it back down. 

“ _Thank you_.”, he said, bring it to the steering wheel.

“Oh, wait, you missed the turn.”, she said. Hotch was silent and stared straight ahead. “Aaron, you were supposed to turn back there.”, she looked behind them and back at him still silent. “ _Aaron_... we need to turn around.”

“Yeah... change of plans...”, he said with a smile slowly growing.

“Listen, whatever you have in mind, I’m sure it’ll be fun but can we go do it after a nap? I really _am_ tired.”, she said.

“I know. Me too. That’s why we’re going to our hotel.”, he said.

“No, we just missed the turn for it... _Aaron_.”, she said.

“ _Not quite_...”, he said, pulling into a hotel parking lot and stopping right in front.

“What are you doing?”, she asked as he got out of the car. “ _Aaron_.”

He went around to her side and opened the car door for her, helping her out.

“Come on, hun.”, he said, putting his arm around her as two men who worked for the hotel, opened the doors for them.

“Aaron, why the hell are we here? I thought we were going to our hotel first.”, she said.

“We _are_ at our hotel.”, he said.

“ _What?! This is a five star hotel!_ ”, she said.

“I know. Just hold on.”, he smiled, walking up to the front desk. 

He checked in and grabbed two keys while they watched their bags being carried into the elevators and their car being driven away by valet after he handed his car keys to them. They walked off to the side and Hotch grabbed Emily a cup of lemon water.

“Here you go, hun.”, he said.

“ _Aaron... what the hell?!_ ”, she whispered.

“Sorry, did you want the cucumber water?”, he said.

“No! I hate cucumber. You know that.”, she said.

“I _do_. That’s why I’m so confused...”, he said.

“ _You’re_ confused? I’m standing in a five star hotel in New York with our bags being brought up to a room I didn’t even know we had, _for us_.”, she said.

“Emily. Take a breath.”, he said, holding her hands.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said.

“Fine. I got us a room here. I never actually booked us a room at the other place. I wanted this to be a nice surprise.”, he said.

“This is crazy!”, she said.

“Crazy _good_.”, he smiled.

“Mr. Hotchner, your room is ready now.”, the lady from the front desk said.

“Thank you.”, he said to her.

“We can’t stay here. This must’ve cost-“, Emily started.

“Don’t worry about it.”, he said.

“I can’t stay here. It feels wrong. It’s so expensive, I-“, she said.

“Don’t worry about it. Just come see the room. I think you’ll change your mind.”, he said, taking her hand.

“Aar-“, she started and he raised his eyebrows. “Fine.”

She followed him into the elevator and he whispered in her ear, “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”, she asked, worried.

“Just close them.”, he giggled.

“Fine.”, she sighed.

“Okay, I’ll tell you when you can open them but don’t peek.”, he said.

“ _Okay, I’m not peeking._ ”, she said, irritated.

They rode up to the 20th floor, Emily growing impatient. When the elevator dinged, they got off and he helped walk her down the hall. He slid in the key in the door when they got to it and he opened the door, leading them in. When he closed it, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear again. 

“Okay. You can open them now.”, he said.

“Fina-“, she started but stopped when she saw the room they were in. “Aaron...”

He kissed her cheek and she could feel him grinning ear to ear.

“Isn’t it amazing?!”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said, unable to form any other words.

“Come on, lemme show you the bedroom.”, he said.

Her jaw dropped and she took his hand, completely in shock. When they stepped into the bedroom, he kicked his shoes off and jumped on the king size bed.

“Wha- Aaron...”, she said, standing still for a moment.

“Emily. Come. Here.”, he said, grabbing two roses that were placed on the bed by the pillows. He got up and walked over to her. “Take your shoes off and jump onto the bed. It feels _amazing_.”, he said, handing her the roses and giving her a kiss.

She took them from him and smiled, kicking her shoes off and following him to the bed before she snapped out of it. “No, no, no, no, no.”, she said, stopping.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like it...?”, he asked.

“No, it’s great... It’s just- Aaron! This is... this is _insane!_ ”, she said.

“ _I know._ ”, he grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss.

“Wait, wait, wait. This must’ve cost so much. This is ridiculous, we can’t stay here.”, she said.

“Emily. I paid for this room in hopes of us having a nice anniversary. I’d like to stay in this room instead of spending a lot on a _crappy_ hotel. If I’m gonna spend a lot of money, I do it wisely. _This_ is a special occasion. _This_ is an opportunity we don’t get a lot. We have the next few days off of work and to ourselves. Just you and me. Alone. We’re spending tomorrow with everyone for Easter but today... and Monday and Tuesday, I would like to just be with you. And that includes out in the city doing fun things we never get to do when we’re traveling because it’s always for work. So. Instead of trying to track down some terrorists and serial killers like we did last time we were here... I’d like to spend our time doing something else. Things involving _you_ . _With no clothes on_...”, he said, starting to kiss her neck and unbutton her flannel.

“ _Aaron_...”, she lightly chuckled, throwing her head back.

“ _In that bed_...”, he said.

“ _I swear_ -“, she started.

“ _With me and-_ “, he whispered before she cut him off by grabbing his face and claiming his mouth with hers.

“How’d you do that?”, she asked, pulling her lips off of his for a second.

“Do what?”, he asked.

“Change my mind so fast.”, she laughed.

“I used to be a lawyer. I’m very good with persuasion, babe.”, he chuckled, bringing her in for another kiss and picking her up and tumbling on the bed together, making her giggle. 

Half an hour later, they sat up in bed under the sheets by each other’s side with his arm wrapped around her. 

“Okay, you have to tell me how much this room cost.”, she said.

“Nope. But... I do have a couple gifts for you.”, he said, reaching for his boxers on the ground. He put them on and ran to grab their bags from the living room of the suite they were staying in. 

“Aaron, can you hand me my clothes? I’m cold without you.”, she giggled.

“Well, good thing I’m coming right back. _And_ there’s a button to fix that.”, he said.

“A _what?_ ”, she said.

“Like a seat warmer but for the bed.”, he said, walking back in and setting their bags down next to the bed. He pressed a button on the piece around the side of the headboard which was sofa like material. 

“Oh. My. God. There’s a bed warmer? Aaron. Okay. Just give me a ball park. 500?”, she said.

“Emily, I’m not telling you how much I spent on this room. Let it go.”, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said.

“As much as I love your voice and hearing you say my name, I really don’t like it in that tone which it has been in multiple times today. I prefer hearing you say it just like you did a few minutes ago in bed.”, he chuckled.

“Seriously!”, she said.

“Okay! Fine! More than $500... per night. That’s all I’m going to say!”, he told her.

“Aaron!”, she said.

“Emily!”, he said. She frowned and he climbed over to her and smiled before giving her a kiss. “Cheer up, hun. I have a couple gifts.”

“In _addition_ to getting us this room?”, she said.

“They’re small, don’t worry.”, he rolled his eyes, grabbing one and handing it to her. “Come on, open it.”

“Fine.”, she said.

“Honey, could you be a little more excited? It’s our anniversary. I want to enjoy this time and this room instead of you dreading the fact that I may have spent a lot on it. Because that doesn’t matter and I already paid so... no going back on that. It’s done. It’s over. Let's _enjoy_ now. Let me treat you. Let me treat us.”, he said.

“Okay, okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just feel bad you did so much and wish I could pitch in a little bit even.”, she said.

“Well don’t.”, he said and she softly smiled at him.

“Come here.”, she said and he scooted over to her after getting all their gifts out for each other.

“Okay, open!”, he said.

She opened the first gift and started to tear up. It was a photo of them from their first date as a couple at the gallery with Carson.

“I know we have one at home but in that one I’m kissing the side of your head and this one we’re actually both smiling at the camera and... I thought you might want to put this one at your desk at work now that people know about us. You can finally have a picture of us on your desk.”, he said.

“I love it.”, she sniffled and laughed. “But...”, she said, grabbing one of her gifts for him. “Open this.”

He tore the wrapping paper off and laughed when he saw what it was. 

“You got me the same picture.”, he laughed.

“I thought the same thing you did! You can finally have a picture of us on your desk.”, she said.

“You even got me the same frame.”, he chuckled.

“We have very similar taste.”, she said.

“That... we _do_.”, he gazed at her before giving her a kiss. “Thank you.”

“I love it.”, she said, almost finishing his sentence but for herself.

“Okay. I have one more thing.”, he said.

“I have a few.”, she said.

“That’s more than okay.”, he smiled.

“Okay, open this one.”, she said, grabbing a present. She handed it to him and he tore the wrapping paper off.

“Dion and the Belmonts.”, he smiled.

“The album with our song on it. _A Teenager in Love_. I figured we could finally put something on the record player now. I saw this the other day and thought about how much vinyl we have but this is our song...”, she softly smiled.

“I love it. I’ll always think of our first date at the diner when I hear it.”, he said.

She looked at him and he pulled her close for a kiss. “Good. Now this.”, she said, handing him another present.

He unwrapped it and took the cap off of the bottle of cologne he’d gotten, spraying it on himself.

“I love this one.”, he said.

“ _Me too._ ”, she said, biting her lip, pulling him close by his neck and before their lips could meet, he pulled out another gift for her.

She carefully took the tape off the wrapping paper, as always, and found four tickets.

“I got us tickets to The Museum of Natural History for Monday and tickets for The Guggenheim today.”, he said.

“I haven’t been to either one before!”, she said.

“I know, neither have I! So as long as you’re up for those...”, he said.

“Yeah, definitely. Thank you.”, she said, giving him a kiss. “Okay, last one.”

He started to tear off the wrapping paper of the box she handed him but she stopped him.

“Stop! Don’t tear it! You know how I get about that.”, she said.

“Right. Sorry, hun. _Delicate touch._ ”, he chuckled.

“Don’t make fun of me.”, she said.

“I’m not, I’m not. I swear.”, he laughed again.

She glared at him and he gave her a quick kiss before continuing to unwrap his gift. When he opened the box, he smiled big.

“Is this my old Polaroid?”, he asked.

“I was thinking about waiting until Christmas but I really wanted to use it this weekend. I talked to Carson when I got that print made from him and he told me he still had it and was able to get some of the right film for it. Apparently, it’s really hard to find the film for the older ones but he got a decent amount.”, she said.

“Oh my god, Emily. This is... this is amazing. I can’t believe he still had this. I let him keep it but I guess he has his own surplus of all this stuff now... this is great. Thank you.”, he said, about to give her a kiss but she turned her face to the side slightly and grabbed his.

“I might’ve used a few already...”, she said.

“That’s alright.”, he said, leaning in for a kiss again.

She put her finger up, stopping him and looked at the box.

“I think you should take a look at them... There’s a reason why I wanted to give this to you for our _anniversary_ instead of Christmas.”, she said.

He reached in the box and pulled out a few Polaroid films and looked at them. He bit his lip and looked at each one.

“Oh wow.”, he said.

“You like them?”, she asked, putting her hand on his leg.

“Mmhmm.”, he cleared his throat. “Is that what you wore for me on my birthday? That black lace cors-“, he said.

“It _is_.”, she said, starting to kiss his neck, making him stiff again.

“Wow... you look- wait. Who took these? _Did Carson take these?!_ ”, he asked.

“No, no, no. I wouldn’t- no, of course not.”, she said.

“Who took them?!”, he asked again, freaking out.

“Aaron, calm down... JJ did.”, she laughed.

“Oh, thank god... wait... I still feel weird about that... That’s not weird for _you?_ Having _somebody else_ take these pictures?”, he asked.

“Not with JJ, no. But... there’s some extra film in the box for more... that is... if you felt more comfortable being the one... to _take_ more...”, she said, moving her hand to rub him while she kissed his neck.

He continued looking at the pictures while enjoying what she was doing for him as she slipped her hand in his boxers, making him moan. She slowly pulled her hand out and he looked over at her confused until she pulled his boxers down and climbed on his lap, crashing her lips onto his.

He set the box with the photos down on the nightstand and held her hips as she grabbed him in her hand. She ran him along her and before he even knew it, she started to sink down on him. 

“Fuck, babe.”, he said, throwing his head back.

“How many times do you think we can go today?”, she asked.

“I don’t know but if you keep this up, we’re never gonna get in a nap.”, he chuckled.

“How about after this?”, she said.

“Deal.”, he half nodded before flipping her over, making her squeal and giggle.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down for a kiss as she wrapped one arm around his neck. She kept her other hand on the side of his face as both their lips and hips kept moving with each other’s. 

“Oh. I uh- I _would_ like to use that extra film later by the way.”, he smirked.

“I thought you might.”, she said.

“But first, I’d like to finish _this_.”, he said.

“Oh, absolutely.”, she grinned, pulling his face to hers again.

After they’d both finished, she curled up to him and rested her head on his chest, rubbing it as she closed her eyes.

“Yeah. I could go for a nap now too.”, he said.

“What time are the tickets for today?”, she asked.

“In a few hours. We have a little time.”, he said.

“Okay, good. I’m _exhausted_ now.”, she laughed.

“Me too. Let me set an alarm to wake up.”, he said, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. “Ah damn.”

“What?”, she asked.

“My phone is in my jeans. Ugh, I don’t wanna get up.”, he said.

“Mine is right here. I’ll just set one on my phone.”, she said, reaching for her phone on her nightstand. She set an alarm on it and before she set her phone back down, she opened the camera on it and pointed it at him.

“ _Emily_. Don’t.”, he said right before he heard the click. “God- argh. Emily!”

“You look so cute!”, she said.

“Ah come on.”, he said.

“You _do!_ Look.”, she said, showing him.

“No, I don’t. You _always_ think I look cute.”, he said.

“Because you _do!_ ”, she said, grabbing him by his jaw and guiding his lips to hers. He glared at her and she stared him straight in the eye until he broke and smiled.

“Fine. _Whatever_.”, he said, taking her phone and setting it down on his side and pulling her into him more. “Let’s rest now.”

“Sounds good.”, she smiled and rested her head on his chest again, falling asleep fast.

Emily woke up to Hotch stroking her hair and nuzzled into him more. 

“How’d you sleep through the alarm going off?”, he asked.

“I don’t know. You must’ve turned it off fast enough.”, she said.

“Did you rest well?”, he asked.

“I did.”, she said, giving his chest a kiss and rubbing it. “Did _you?_ ”

“ _Of course I did._ I had _you_ in my arms. In this _amazing_ bed...”, he trailed off.

“In this _amazing_ room... which... by the way... what is this room called?”, she asked.

“Are you gonna go try and look up the price?”, he asked.

“No. I promise. I just wanna brag to JJ.”, she giggled.

“Fine.”, he sighed. “It’s the _Deluxe One Bedroom Corner Suite_ with a _skyline view._ ”

“It’s so _fancy_.”, she said, drawing small circles on his chest.

“Only the best for _you_.”, he said, reaching down for a kiss.

“I didn’t get to take a look around the rest of the suite.”, she said.

“Well there’s a very _fancy_ stone and travertine bathroom with three shower heads in the large walk-in shower and-“, he said.

“It’s really nice. I love it. Thank you. I’m sorry I was freaking out earlier about how expensive it probably is but I feel bad when you do that.”, she said.

“Let me treat my beautiful girlfriend to a nice trip for our anniversary.”, he said.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. Thank y-“, she started.

“Honey, stop saying that. I _know_. And you’re welcome but it’s also not just for you. It’s for me too.”, he chuckled.

“You deserve it.”, she said, hugging him.

“Mmm...”, he smiled, rubbing her back. “ _Two years_.”

“Two years.”, she repeated.

“We’ve been through a lot.”, he said.

“We really have.”, she said.

“I’m glad I went through it and got through it with _you_ though.”, he said.

“Me too. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side during all of that.”, she said, scooting up to his level more and wrapping her arm around his neck. With her other hand, she reached for his and brought it up to her chest and intertwined their fingers, holding it close to her. They looked at each other and pressed their foreheads to each other’s.

“You’re so beautiful.”, he whispered, stroking her hand with his thumb.

“You’re so handsome.”, she smiled and let out a half laugh.

He brought his lips to hers for a few seconds before pulling them off without pulling away and letting a corner of his mouth turn up, keeping their foreheads pressed against each other’s.

“I love you.”, she said, against his lips.

“I love you too.”, he said, kissing her one more time.

“Should we take a shower _before_ or _after_ we leave?”, she asked.

“We’re not paying a water bill like at home and it’s a really nice shower... I say _both_.”, he said.

“I think that sounds like a great idea.”, she said, sitting up as they both got out of bed and went to take a shower before leaving for the museum. 

After the museum, they got food at Hotch’s favorite pizza place he’d been wanting to show Emily and headed back to their hotel.

“It’s getting late. Sort of.”, he said, walking into the bedroom.

“I say... you take your clothes off and we spend the rest of the night in bed.”, she smirked, taking his jacket off. “Maybe watch a movie on this _55-inch flat screen tv_ facing our bed.”

“As much as I love that idea... I actually have another one.”, he said, taking her hands in his.

“Oh?”, she said.

“The Empire State Building. Let’s go. Once it gets dark. It’ll be romantic. We can go after around 10:00.”, he said.

“That’s late. Is it even open for people to go up then?”, she asked.

“It is. And it’s less crowded then. So let’s just relax for now. I _might even_ have a reservation at a _fancy_ restaurant.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“Emily. Let me treat us.”, he said.

“No. You have to let me pay for _some_ of this.”, she said.

“Absolutely not. It’s our anniversary and consider this part of my gift to you. To _us_ . It’s for _us_.”, he said.

“No. I can’t let you do that. There has to be _something_ I can do.”, she said.

“How about... you hand me that Polaroid?”, he said with a smirk and raising one eyebrow.

“Ohhhh.”, she grinned. “I can do that.”, she said, stepping over to the nightstand and grabbed it. 

She turned around to Hotch already kicking his shoes off. She walked over to him and he held up his finger, walking out of the room.

“Wait. I’m gonna grab a drink from the mini fridge. You want one?”, he asked.

“Sure. As long as it’s strong.”, she said.

He walked out to the living room and grabbed a few mini bottles from the mini fridge and made them a couple drinks. He walked back into the bedroom holding them, only to find Emily in her bra and underwear laying on the bed. She had the camera pointed at him and he stopped, holding the drinks and raised one of the glasses as she took a picture. She pulled the film out and laid it face down on the nightstand to develop.

“God, I forgot how bright that flash is.”, he said, shaking his head.

“Um, excuse me. Why are your clothes still on? Also... you have failed to notice how little _I’m_ wearing.”, she asked.

“Babe... you look _very_ sexy. I _did_ notice. Can I hand you your drink first though?”, he asked.

“Yes. As long as you take your clothes off.”, she said.

He took a sip of his drink and chuckled before setting it down and handing her own to her.

She took a sip as he took his shirt off and she set her drink down. She grabbed the camera and pointed it at him again as he was about to get on the bed.

“Wait... Don’t...”, he said putting his hand up and lowering the camera.

“What?”, she asked.

“I don’t want a picture of me shirtless...”, he said.

“What? Why?”, she asked.

“My scars...”, he said.

“Honey, I’m the only one who’s gonna see it and I don’t care about them. I don’t even notice them. It doesn’t register in my brain when I look at you. You’re sexy no matter what. You _know_ that.”, she said.

“I just feel uneasy about it...”, he said.

“You also felt uneasy about me _seeing_ you and _touching_ you shirtless but you got over that.”, she said.

“It’s different.”, he said.

“Not to me.”, she said, setting the camera down and sitting up on her knees. She grabbed him and pulled him on the bed on top of her.

“Whoa!”, he said, falling forward.

She pulled him in for a kiss and wrapped her legs around him. She ran her hand all the way up his abs to his chest before grabbing onto his shoulders.

“You. Are. Sexy.”, she said, staring him in the eyes. He sighed and she touched his face. “Your body is amazing and I love it. I don’t care about some stupid scars. You’re hot. But... if you really don’t feel comfortable with me getting a picture of you shirtless then that’s fine. I’ll respect that.”

He sighed again and looked down at her body, running his hand down her side. Looking back up at her eyes, he bit his lip, nervous.

“Only _you_ are gonna see it?”, he asked.

“ _Only me_. I wouldn’t want anyone else seeing it anyways. Someone might try to snatch you up.”, she laughed.

“I highly doubt that.”, he said.

“We were just talking about this. Girls check you out. Trust me. And until there’s a ring on that finger, that won’t change. Actually, they’ll still check you out...”, she said.

“Girls really check me out, huh?”, he chuckled.

“Hey!”, she said.

“I’m sorry, hun.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “You’re the only one I want checking me out. It’s just interesting seeing _you_ be the jealous one for a change.”

“ _I’m not jealous!_ ”, she said.

“Really? Because Kayla texted me earlier and-“, he started.

“ _What?!_ What did she say?! _I told you_ she was still interested! What’d _you_ say? Ugh I _knew it!_ Here, give me my phone.”, she said, trying to reach for it.

“Oh my god! You’re so _jealous!_ ”, he said.

“I’m not!”, she said.

He stopped her, and held her back, reaching in his pocket for his phone and pulling up his texts with Kayla, showing Emily.

“If you had let me finish, you would have heard me say that she wants to know if we are busy next weekend or if Jack wants to have a playdate.”, he said.

“Why didn’t you just say that?!”, she said, smacking his arm.

“ _Because_ .”, he laughed. “I knew you’d interrupt me, freaking out, proving my point. That _you. Are. Jealous!_ ”, he said.

“Shut up! I am not!”, she said.

“Okay. Sure, hun.”, he chuckled, leaning down for a kiss.

“You know what? Why don’t you hand me my clothes?”, she said.

“I’d rather not.”, he said.

“Well then stop saying I’m jealous! Either shut up and take your clothes off and the rest of mine or _hand me_ my clothes back.”, she said.

“I prefer the first one... but _first_...”, he said, getting off of her and ready to take off his pants. She sat up and started crawling towards him, stopping once he grabbed the Polaroid. “Lace just always looks good on you, doesn’t it?”

“Mhmm.”, she said.

He chuckled and pointed the camera at her, snapping a shot. He took the film out and set it face down next to the other and grabbed his drink. 

Emily took the camera out of his hand and pointed it at him, waiting for him to notice. He turned to her and sighed. 

“Fine.”, he said, taking a sip of his drink and staring at the camera as she took the picture. 

She took the film out and set it face down next to the others, along with the Polaroid itself. She crawled to the edge of the bed on her knees and grabbed his drink.

“Wha- you have your own.”, he said.

She smirked and took a sip of his drink while he glared at her and she raised an eyebrow before setting it down and taking his hand. She pulled him closer until he got on the bed on his knees crawling on top of her slowly as she laid down. 

“That picture is going to turn out good. You look all serious and mysterious and... _sexy_ with that look you gave me while taking a sip of your drink. It’s gonna come out _very_ nice.”, she grinned before wrapping an arm around his neck and placing her other hand on his face as she brought their lips together.

“We’ll see.”, he said.

“Why do you have such low self-esteem and zero self-confidence?”, she asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”, he said.

“I’m serious, Aaron.”, she said.

“So am _I_. Honey, you’re beautiful and intelligent and brave and funny and so kind and just- you’re so amazing in so many different ways and you never seem to see it. It hurts me sometimes.”, he said.

“Yeah and all the same to you. It hurts seeing you doubt yourself so much.”, she said.

“We’re both kind of hypocrites, huh?”, he said.

“Well... at least _I_ can admit how hot _I_ am.”, she laughed.

“You really are.”, he almost growled before crashing his lips onto hers and grabbing her waist.

She finally went to unbutton his pants and slid them down. Once, he kicked them off, she rolled them over and got on top of him, grinding on him. He grabbed her ass and moved her along harder, back and forth while she shot her tongue in his mouth.

“Mmm. Wait... Wait...”, she stopped kissing him. “Do you have any... _fantasies_... you’ve ever wanted to... actually do? Because... I’m open to some things you might want. We’ve never really talked about that.”, she said.

“Honestly?... No. Not really. Nothing I can think of right now.”, he said.

“Because if you do, you can tell me. I won’t judge. I’m not saying I’d necessarily be down for anything but if there was anything you ever wanted to do or any specific fantasy you had... I might be open to doing it or trying it.”, she said.

“No. I can’t think of anything right now. But I’ll keep it in mind. Why? Do you?... Have any... fantasies or... whatever?”, he asked.

“No. None that I can really think of. But like I said, if you ever wanted, I’m open to try something possibly.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he nodded. “I’ll think about it but I’ve never had anything I’ve always wanted to do really. What made you think of that?”, he asked.

“I don’t know. It’s our anniversary. People do wild things on their anniversary sometimes. I was just wondering. I feel kind of bad I haven’t asked until now. I mean, we have a lot of sex. And I’d say, overall, we have a pretty healthy sex life. I just wondered if there was ever anything missing from it at all.”, she said.

“No. I feel very satisfied with it.”, he said, rubbing her legs, down from her ass and back up consistently. “Every.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “Single.”, he said, giving her another kiss. “Time.”, he finished with one last kiss. 

“Okay, good.”, she said.

“You’ll let _me_ know though, right? If there’s anything _you_ ever wanna try or...?”, he said.

“Yes, definitely.”, she said, leaning down to kiss him. “I’m sorry. But you seriously have _none?_ Nothing in mind at all? No handcuffs or blindfolds even?”

“Do you _want_ me to handcuff you or blindfold you?”, he asked, somewhat confused.

“I don’t know. I’m just wondering. I mean I’m not necessarily opposed to _that_ if that’s what you might want. I mean, there’s gotta be _something_. I’ve never known a guy or been with a guy that didn’t have some kink or fantasy he wants to play out at some point.”, she said.

“I guess I’m just different then. I don’t know. Do you want to do either of those things you mentioned though?”, he asked.

“Maybe. It’s never been something I’ve been _dying_ to do but I’ve been kind of curious I guess.”, she said.

“You haven’t tried either of those?”, he asked.

“Well, not the blindfold.”, she said.

“ _You’ve tried handcuffs before?_ ”, he asked surprised.

“Yeah, once.”, she said.

“Oh god... was it with Derek?”, he asked.

“No, it was with Brayd-“, she started but shut her mouth.

“Oh... Right... Of course he’d have a pair. He used to be in the FBI after all...”, he sighed, looking over to the side.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean for-“, she tried.

“It’s- it’s fine. We’re talking about previous experiences with stuff. As in... not with each other. Maybe we just shouldn’t say names...”, he said.

“Right. Sorry...”, she said.

“So would you want to try a blindfold or handcuffs again?”, he asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know if I’d want it on me or you though.”, she said.

“Why would you want it on me?”, he asked.

“Because it _would be fun_ to see how I could make you feel, especially with you not being able to see or know every time my mouth or hands are about to touch you.”, she said, starting to kiss his neck. He chuckled and stroked her hair to the side. “Although... I _do_ like it when you take control.”

“Oh yeah?”, he laughed.

“Mmhmm...”, she said against his neck. “But I like pleasing you too.”, she whispered in his ear.

“Yeah, I uh- I like that too.”, he laughed as she started moving down, placing kisses on his chest, down his abs until she was about to reach his boxers and slid them down.

After they finished twice, they took another shower and when they got out to get changed, Hotch grabbed a suit from his bag.

“We really should put our clothes in the drawers since we’ll be here a few days.”, he said.

“Yeah, we’ve just been a little too busy having lots of sex, to do that.”, she laughed.

“We also went to the museum and got some food.”, he said.

“True but for the most part, it’s just been lots of sex. Well... and cuddling.”, she laughed again, walking out of the bathroom. “ _You brought a suit?_ ”

“Yeah, I told you, we’re going to a _fancy_ restaurant.”, he said.

“I didn’t pack anything nice to wear.”, she said.

“I know. That’s why I packed something _for_ you. To match my outfit. _Here’s my red tie_ ...”, he said, holding it up and walking to his bag, pulling out a red dress and black heels. “ _And... here’s one of your favorite dresses and favorite black heels_.”, he said, holding them up for her.

“You matched our outfits?”, she asked with a huge smile, taking them from him.

“Someone taught me well.”, he said.

“I feel proud.”, she laughed.

“You should. And you should also feel glad we will both be dressed up together. That way nobody will try to hit on _either_ of us.”, he said.

“Oh, I _do_ like _that_.”, she smiled, grabbing his face and giving him a kiss before setting her dress and shoes down and going into the bathroom to do her hair and makeup.

After she got dressed, she put on her shoes and walked out to the living room area. Hotch was sitting on the sofa, typing on his phone. He looked up at Emily walking over to him and stood up.

“You know, that’s one of _my_ favorite dresses too.”, he said.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”, she said.

“Because it looks amazing on you.”, he said, grabbing her waist.

“Everything looks amazing on me.”, she laughed.

“Oh, that’s definitely true. You could wear a paper bag and you’d still look sexy. Although, it’s not as tight as this dress.”, he said, gripping her more. “God, your body is amazing.”, he said, almost under his breath, looking her up and down.

“So is yours.”, she said, tugging on his suit. “Aaron. Let’s go before I start taking your clothes off again.”

“You just can’t resist me, can you?”, he chuckled.

“Okay, so you go from _zero-self confidence_ to _knowing_ you’re a hot piece of ass, so fast. How do you manage to do that?”, she asked.

“I always know I’m hot. I just don’t always feel confident with my shirt off because of my scars. But I feel completely safe and comfortable with you. I don’t feel weird with you seeing them or touching me there anymore. Just... I wouldn’t want to go out running or to the beach or whatever without a shirt on in front of other people.”, he said.

“What _about_ if we ever go to the beach with Jack or our kid later on at some point? You’re gonna wanna get in the water with them. Have you ever thought of those kinds of things?”, she asked.

“I’ll get there.”, he nodded.

She looked at him and sighed and he could tell she felt bad for him but he put on a smile anyways and took her hands and kissed them.

“Alright...let’s go.”, she said.

They took a cab to the restaurant and when they arrived, Emily thought they’d have to wait, seeing how crowded it was until Hotch sneakily tipped the host when shaking his hand. He sat them almost right away and she was shocked. She looked over at Hotch but he just linked arms with her and smiled until they got to the table and he pulled out her chair for her.

“I’ve never actually seen anyone do that before.”, she said.

“I’m a very classy man.”, he chuckled, pulling out his own chair and sitting down.

“ _Apparently_.”, she said

“Red or white?”, he asked, picking up the wine menu.

“Red.”, she said.

“Sounds good.”, he said, flagging a waiter down and ordering a bottle of wine to be brought over.

“So.”, she said, placing her hand on his on the table and smiling.

“ _So_.”, he smiled back.

“Do you plan on doing stuff like this for all of our anniversaries?”, she asked.

“Stuff like what?”, he asked.

“Over the top things. Or... _fancy_... as you’ve been saying all day.”, she said.

“I’m just trying to treat you well, hun.”, he said.

“Aaron, you treat me well just by loving me. We could’ve stayed in a crappy motel and not gone anywhere and it would’ve been perfect because I’d be with _you_.”, she said.

“I know and of course I feel the same way but why not take advantage of this time we have off? I want you to stop worrying about the money. I saw an opportunity for this weekend and I took it. Besides, when we have a baby, we won’t be able to do big fancy trips like this. Or at least almost never. Let’s enjoy this while we can.”, he said, squeezing her hand.

“Alright... fine! It _is_ really nice. At least let me get the tickets for the Empire State Building tonight.”, she said.

“ _Emily_...”, he said.

“Aaron, please.”, she said.

“No.”, he told her.

“Aar-“, she started.

“No. And please stop asking. I never really get to do this. It feels nice. Being able to treat my girl. You wanna do something? Let me feel good about this. Let me treat you. _That’s_ what you can do.”, he said.

“ _It really makes you feel better?_ ”, she asked.

“Yes.”, he said.

“Okay... I’ll back off.”, she said.

“Thank you. And this will be the last time we talk about this?”, he asked.

“Yes. I promise.”, she said.

“Good.”, he smiled.

Their wine was brought over and poured in two glasses for them. They clinked them together and took a sip while still holding hands.

“Emily, I don’t wanna do a whole big long speech telling you how much I love you because I know you know that already. But you make me happier than I think I’ve ever been and you make me feel younger everyday and I don’t know if that’s just because _you’re_ younger and you share all of that energy with me but you make me see how much there still is out there in the world for me to do. I’ll be 50 soon enough and I know that’s not old but you never stop showing me that. Lots of people think that there’s nothing left that’s new, nothing to advance in once they get to my age but you make me feel young again. You make me see how many opportunities I still have for so many things and you share so much of yours with me and the fact that you are willing to let me in... feels like privilege. Being with you feels like privilege because you’re so special and I think that what we have is really rare and that’s privilege too. Being in your life and having you in mine, sharing our lives together... It's privilege. It’s been a privilege to have you in my life and I don’t ever want to lose that. I love you so much. You’re the love of my life. And I can’t wait to start a bigger family with you. The one we already have is pretty amazing and I’m so excited to expand it even more and continue to come home to you everyday. Or _with_ you, I guess. Soon enough you’ll be coming home to me when I retire and stay home with the kids.”, he chuckled. “But until then, it’s me and you, hun.”, he smiled and leaned in, placing his hand on her face and bringing his lips to hers. 

“And Jack.”, she whispered.

“And Jack, of course but you know what I mean.”, he said.

“I do.”, she smiled, and stroked his face, gazing into his eyes. “And that _wasn’t_ a whole big long speech telling me how much you love me?”, she laughed.

“It could’ve been much longer.”, he chuckled.

“How is that possible?”, she laughed while he shrugged. “Wow. You must really love me.”

“I really really do. A lot.”, he smiled.

“Well, I _really really_ love _you_ . A lot _too_.”, she said, placing her hand on his thigh. “You make my world stop, you know that?”, she gazed at him.

“That’s it?”, he asked.

“What?”, she said.

“Well, you started to say something really cheesy but didn’t add onto it. I was hoping to get more so I could make fun of you and point out the fact that I’ve rubbed off on you.”, he laughed.

“Shut up and drink your wine. You know how much I love you. But I’m _definitely_ not gonna finish a whole cheesy speech _now_.”, she said.

“But you were gonna?! Wow I _have_ rubbed off on you.”, he laughed.

“You’re ridiculous. You couldn’t just roll with it?”, she said.

“I’m sorry, hun. Go on.”, he said.

“No, I just told you. I’m not gonna finish that now.”, she said.

“ _Pleeeease_.”, he begged.

“Oh, well when you say it like that...”, she said.

“Really?!”, he said.

“No.”, she laughed.

“You don’t love me.”, he said.

“Shut up. I _do_.”, she said.

“Tell me how much you love me. I just poured my heart out to you.”, he said.

“Shut up.”, she smirked before taking a sip of wine as the waiter came by to tell them about their specials that night.

After they ate, they got a check and he paid, almost making her say something but she had promised to keep her mouth shut about it.

As they were heading out, he helped her up and put his arm around her, walking outside and catching a cab.

“What a gentleman.”, Emily giggled as she got in the backseat in the cab he held the door open of, for her.

“Anything for you, hun.”, he said, stepping in after her and closing the door.

They told the cab driver to take them to the Empire State Building and started driving.

“So, how was dinner?”, Hotch asked.

“ _Delicious, oh my god_ . I’ve never really gotten to take the time to go out here. It was great. _Really_. Today has been wonderful.”, she smiled at him.

He looked back at her and leaned in for a kiss. “God, you’re so sexy in this dress.”, he said.

“So you’ve mentioned.”, she laughed.

“I almost just wanna go back to the hotel _now_ instead.”, he said, rolling his lips in and looking her up and down.

“Think you can hold out just a little?”, she asked.

“I’ve gotten pretty good with self control when it comes to you.”, he said.

“Oh yeah?”, she said.

“But I gotta tell you, when you wore that gray v-neck the other day to work and you were leaning over the conference table...”, he raised his eyebrows.

“Did you have some trouble focusing on your work because of a _top_ I was wearing, _Agent Hotchner?_ Seems a little unprofessional.”, she said, raising one eyebrow.

“I saw the way you looked back at me. I almost had it under control until you _winked_ at me. You know you can’t do that at work!”, he said.

“ _I can’t wear a v-neck to work?!_ ”, she asked.

“No! You can! You just can’t give me those looks and wink at me especially when you know how crazy you make me.”, he said.

“Although, I _did_ hate keeping us a secret for so long, sometimes it was really hot.”, she smirked.

“Emily, I’m a guy. It’s a little more difficult for me to hide it when you make me feel anything.”, he said.

“But it’s so fun messing with you.”, she giggled.

“But you can’t _do_ that.”, he said.

“Live a little, Aaron. We won’t be able to do this too much longer.”, she said.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

“When you retire, we won’t have fun moments like that at work.”, she said.

“ _Fun moments?_ You think it’s fun for me when you get me turned on and I have to do my best to try and focus on work while there’s other people around us when really I just wanna grab you and-“, he said.

“Oh my god. Is that what that night was?”, she asked.

“What?”, he asked.

“ _That other day when I wore that v-neck._ We had amazing sex later that night. I mean it was crazy. That was built up all day, huh?”, she laughed.

“Emily, you drive me insane.”, he rolled his eyes.

“Ha! I really got to you!”, she said.

“You benefited from it that night though, didn’t you?”, he said.

“Oh, I definitely did.”, she smirked, leaning over for a kiss when her phone rang. She started feeling inside his suit jacket and could feel him smile against her lips.

“Mmm you wanna go back to the hotel _now_ , huh?”, he asked.

“Mm hm hm hmm.”, she giggled and scrunched her nose, taking her phone from a pocket on the inside of his suit jacket. “Not quite, mister.”, she said, holding up her phone as he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Who’s Sean McAllister?”, he asked, looking at the screen of the phone she was staring at. When she was silent, Hotch looked at her staring at it, obviously thinking hard. “Em?”

“Hm?”, she asked, snapping out of it and looking at him right after quickly clicking _decline_ for the call and turning her phone off.

“You okay, hun?”, he asked, furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing her back.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”, she smiled, placing her hand on his knee and rubbing it.

“Who’s Sean McAllister?”, he asked again.

“Just an old friend.”, she said.

“You didn’t wanna take the call?”, he asked.

“I’m _here_ . _In New York._ With _you_ . _On our anniversary_. You’re the only person I wanna talk to right now.”, she smiled and placed her other hand on his face, giving him a soft kiss.

“You seemed to really be thinking about answering it. Are you sure it wasn’t important?”, he asked.

“Aaron. Let’s not talk about this right now, okay? I’ll call him later. Right now, I’m spending time with my boyfriend on our anniversary. That’s all that matters to me.”, she said.

“Alright.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “So you’ve never been to the Empire State Building?”

When they finally arrived, Hotch bought the tickets and they went up to the 86th floor. When they stepped off and went out to look at the view, she stopped.

“Wow...”, she said.

“Wow indeed.”, he said.

“I’m so glad we did this at night. God, there’s no one else here.”, she said.

“It’s perfect. And I guess you’re not afraid of heights.”, he said.

“You didn’t know that about me?”, she asked, stepping closer to the edge.

“This is one thing I love about you. I keep learning new things about you. Everyday. Even after two years of being with you and living with you for almost a year and a-.”, he said.

He started walking towards her when a little jewelry box fell out of his suit jacket pocket and he bent down to pick it up.

“Half. A year and a-“, she said right before she turned around to find him on one knee, holding it. “Oh my god, Aaron. What are you doing?”, she asked with wide eyes.

He looked confused until his eyes went to the box in his hand and realized he was on one knee and stood up right away. “Em-“, he tried.

“Aaron, I told you, I’m not ready to-“, she started.

“No, no, no. I’m- I’m not proposing right now. I just dropped this. I’m not proposing...”, he said.

“Oh, thank god.”, she sighed.

“Wow... nice to know how you feel about it though...”, he said, sarcastically, obviously hurt.

“Aaron, I didn’t mean it like that.”, she said.

“No, you’re obviously relieved. It’s good to know how horrible it would be if I _was_ actually asking you to marry me.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“No, _really_ . It’s not like we’ve talked about wanting to spend the rest of our lives together or anything. It’s not like we’ve talked about _wanting_ to have kids and get married and buy a house at all. What should I expect?”, he asked.

“Okay, you know that’s not true. That’s all we talk about. You know I want _all_ of that. I’m just not ready right now. I thought you understood that.”, she said.

“I _respect_ that but that doesn’t mean I _understand_ it. What’s holding you back if that’s what you know you want? Do you plan on changing your mind about any of it?”, he asked.

“Can we please not talk about this right now? We’re on a _date_ . On our _anniversary_. Let’s just enjoy this.”, she said, taking his hand and putting her other one on his chest.

“You didn’t answer my question...”, he said.

“No. No, I do not plan on changing my mind about _anything_ we have discussed. _Ever_ . I’m never leaving and you damn well better not leave either. We made a promise and I’m sticking to it and not just because I feel obligated to but because I love you and you are my whole world and you make me feel so lucky to have you every single day and I’ve never found anyone like that at all before. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, honey. I just am not ready to put a ring on my finger. I don’t know why but I’m not ready to be a wife. I can’t explain it but I’m just not. _Please_ understand. It has _nothing_ to do with _you_.”, she said, moving her hand from his chest to his face.

“Yeah... okay.”, he nodded.

“ _Thank you_.”, she said, giving him a kiss.

He nodded again and held up the jewelry box. “Mind if I give you this now though? It’s not a ring, I promise.”, he said.

“Sure.”, she smiled, taking it. She opened the top and saw a small horizontal flat gold bar necklace inside.

“Aaron...”, she said.

“It’s got a tiny fancy “ _E_ ” engraved in the bottom left corner.”, he said.

“I see that.”, she smiled.

“Do you like it?”, he asked, nervous when she didn’t say anything at first.

“I _love_ it. It’s beautiful.”, she said, turning to him.

“Really? Because if you don’t-“, he said before she cut him off with her lips.

“Aaron, I love it. Thank you.”, she said.

“Let me put it on.”, he said, taking the necklace and walked behind her. He undid the clasp and brought it around front, hooking it in the back as she pulled her hair to the side. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and turned them to face the view of the city. He held onto her and kissed her neck while she gripped his arms tighter around her.

“I love you so much.”, she almost whispered.

“I love you too, hun.”, he said, leaning his head against hers.

“I really do mean it. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. I really do want to have a baby with you and get married and buy a house. I _do_. Don’t forget that. Please.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he nodded and kissed the side of her head.

“I seriously love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. In my whole life. You’re it. Don’t ever think otherwise.”, she said.

“I know, hun. You’re it for me too.”, he said, squeezing her tight.

“I better be.”, she giggled.

“You don’t ever need to worry on that.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“You know you’re my girl.”, he said.

“No, I mean thank you for tonight. For this trip.”, she said, leaning back against him.

“Of course. I’m glad we were able to do something this year. I mean last year was great too but we made it past a year and that’s big. That should be celebrated. But really just being able to be with you to do so no matter how we do it, is good enough.”, he said.

“It really is.”, she said, reaching a hand back to his neck while he kissed hers.

A little while later, they went back to their hotel and when they got to their suite and walked inside, Emily went straight for the Polaroid in their room. She looked over at Hotch and held it up.

“Let’s get a picture together.”, she said.

“How?”, he asked.

“In the bathroom mirror.”, she said, taking his hand and dragging him into the bathroom.

He wrapped his arm around her and while she held up the camera and took the picture. She ran out of the bedroom and set it face down on one of the night tables along with the camera itself.

Hotch walked out of the bathroom after her and took his suit jacket off, letting it fall to the ground. He unbuckled his pants and immediately unbuttoned them, pulling the zipper down. 

When Emily heard it, she started to turn around but he grabbed her waist and pulled her tight against him.

“You like it when I take control?”, he whispered in her ear.

“I told you that earlier, didn’t I?”, she laughed.

“Well, how about you get out of this dress now and let me do so.”, he said in a husky voice, leaning over and licking her ear right before biting it gently while she bit her lip.

“I think I might need help out of it.”, she said.

“I can do that.”, he said, unzipping her dress slowly after she kicked her shoes off while he did the same.

He let it fall to the ground and she stepped out of it. Before she could do anything else, he took his tie off and brought it in front of her face. He slowly placed it over her eyes and as he was tying it, she finally gasped.

“Are we doing this now?”, she asked.

“Only if you want to.”, he said.

“I didn’t think _you_ did.”, she said.

“I never said that.”, he told her, finishing the tie. “If you want it on me next time, that’s fine. But for now...”, he said.

“Yes.”, she said.

“Perfect and uh... unless you’re opposed to doing it again, I’ve never tried handcuffs so...”, he said.

“Okay.”, she breathed and nodded.

“Separately though. Another time.”, he said, finishing unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the ground. 

He dropped his pants and kicked them to the side, spinning her around fast and picking her up, stepping over to the bed. He threw themselves on it, hovering over her with her legs wrapped around him.

“Just tell me if you want me to stop.”, he whispered, moving his lips to her neck. “This necklace looks beautiful on you.”

“Should I take it off?”, she asked.

“No. Leave it.”, he said.

As he continued kissing her neck, he slipped his hand underneath her and unhooked her black lace bra. He slowly took it off once she arched her back. 

He stared at her breasts and grabbed one tight while taking the other in his mouth. She gasped when he started sucking hard and let his tongue circle around. He switched after a minute to the other and brought his hand to her side, roaming the rest of her body.

He eventually kissed his way down to her in between her legs as she unwrapped them from around his waist, sliding her underwear off and tossing them to the side. 

He kissed the inside of her thighs and sucked on them just enough to leave a couple marks. He moved his way up and pulled her close and sudden under her legs, bringing his face near. He breathed heavy on her, intentionally, making sure his hot breath made her shudder which it did.

He waited a few seconds before he brought his tongue to her hot center and made her shudder again. He started sucking her and finally inserted two fingers in her slowly as he continued.

“Fuck.”, she breathed.

“Mmm.”, he hummed, sending vibrations throughout her whole body.

She threw her head back and opened her mouth wide as he kept going. He curled his finger inside her and started going faster. She almost went to grab his hair like she usually did but gave up control and let him take over, keeping her hands away and she couldn’t deny how amazing it felt. 

She started moving her hips but he held her in place with his free hand, eventually making her legs start to shake. 

“Oh my god.”, she said, gripping the sheets. “Fuck.”

He could tell she was close and wanted her bad so he decided to send her over the edge. Moving his fingers faster and faster, sucking her more and more, she finally reached her point and almost screamed. 

“Ahh! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Aaron, fuck.”, she moaned, finally moving her hips when he let her. “Ahhh shit.”

After a silent moment, letting her come down from her high, he slipped his boxers off and got back on his knees. He flipped her over on her stomach fast and pulled her towards him rough onto her knees as well. He smacked her ass, making her whimper and let out a tiny giggle and moan which he took as a sign to keep going. 

He adjusted himself, to her entrance and slammed in without any more warning. She gasped and he immediately started pounding into her.

“Fuck, you’re so hot, babe.”, he grunted, smacking her ass again.

“Oh fuck, you’re so big! Oh, Jesus Christ. Ah fuck me harder, babe, please!”, she whined.

“Ah _goddammit_ , Em. I just wanna fuck you as hard as I can. I’ll fuck you so hard. As hard as you want.”, he said.

“ _Harder, Aaron!_ ”, she said.

“God, you’re perfect.”, he said, smacking her ass three times, each one with a harder slam into her. “You’re gonna be sore tomorrow.”

“I don’t care. Just keep fucking me.”, she said.

“Gladly.”, he said, gripping her waist tighter until he wanted more control and grabbed her by her shoulders, pulling her into him each time.

After a while, as he kept going, she moved her hips back onto him and he could feel her gripping him. 

“Are you gonna come for me?”, he asked, out of breath, moving his lips to her neck and his hands to her breasts.

“Yes.”, she whimpered.

“Good.”, he said, going harder and faster.

“Please, oh my god, Aaron. Faster. I’m so close.”, she cried.

“Me too. Keep gripping me like that. God, you feel _amazing_. Fuck.”, he said, going as fast and as hard as he could just like she’d asked him to.

“Fuck!”, she screamed once he brought his hand to her clit. “Oh my god, I'm gonna come, babe. I’m gonna come.” Within seconds, she had tumbled over the edge. “Oh my god! Aaron, yes! Oooo fuuuuck! Ahhh, you’re so-“, she said before he interrupted her but releasing everything himself.

“Argh goddammit!”, he said through his teeth. “Fuck! Squeeze me tight like that again. Ah! Yes, just like that babe. Argh.”, he grunted as he pulled her tight against him by her hips one more time before smacking her ass one last time.

He pulled out of her after a moment and flipped her over onto her back. He kneeled in between her legs and leaned down for a kiss. He slowly lifted the tie off her face and curled her hair behind her ear. A corner of his mouth turned up as she opened her eyes with a soft smile on her face. She reached for his face and pulled him down for another kiss. 

He rolled off of her and pulled the sheets over them. As she scooted into him, he held her in his arms and stroked her hair. 

“So?”, he said.

“Like I’ve said before... you’re the best I’ve ever had.”, she giggled and rubbed his chest, nuzzling into him more.

“I could say the same.”, he chuckled. 

“Mmmm.”, she hummed, drawing small circles on his chest.

“You felt safe the entire time, right? Everything felt good?”, he asked.

“Yes. Completely and everything felt very good. More than very good. It was _amazing_. I’ve also said this before... you always get me good.”, she laughed.

“Except for that one time last week...”, he said.

“Honey, that wasn’t you. It was me. I’ve told you that so many times. I’m _sorry!_ ”, she said.

“I know, I know. I just always want to make sure that you enjoy it.”, he said, moving her hair to the side and kissing her shoulder.

“I always _do_ . That one time, it was good, I just couldn’t get there. But it _wasn’t because of you._ ”, she said.

“Alright, fine. I believe you.”, he said.

“Good.”, she said, grabbing his face for a kiss. 

“Have I told you how sexy you are?”, he asked.

“Many times but I love to hear it.”, she giggled and played with her necklace. 

“It really _does_ look good on you.”, he said.

“I love it.”, she said.

“I’m glad. When I say this, I’m not calling you simple or anything but I know that’s your style.”, he said.

“I know you know better after what you said that one time. The night before my birthday.”, she said.

“I felt so bad. I thought I actually offended you. But you’re just mean. Always messing with me. Scaring me like that when you pretend you’re offended.”, he said.

“ _I’m not mean!_ ”, she said.

“You are to _me!_ ”, he said.

“That’s just because I love you, silly.”, she giggled.

“Oh. Well, as long as you _love me_.”, he chuckled and gave her a kiss.

“And... I always feel safe with you. For many reasons... in many ways.”, she smiled.

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you more.”, she said.

“I thought we agreed to stop that.”, he said.

“Mmm... I don’t recall that actually.”, she said.

“Oh really? Oh. Okay, then. I see. Well, I guess I can say I love _you_ more.”, he said.

“Oh god... what did I start?”, she said.

“You won last time.”, he said.

“So you get to _this_ time?”, she asked.

“Oh absolutely.”, he laughed, rolling on top of her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Again?”, she asked.

“Unless you’re too tired.”, he said, stopping.

“I’m gonna go as many times as I want before I’m too tired or too sore. So let’s keep going while I still can.”, she giggled, rolling back on top of him.

After going a couple more times, they decided to go to sleep only for Emily to wake up shortly after to her phone ringing, right in the middle of a surprisingly good dream. She felt Hotch start to toss and turn so she reached for her phone before he woke up and saw that it was Sean McAllister again and silenced it.

It was the second time he’d called her in one night after not speaking for a few years. She knew it must be important so she grabbed her underwear and Hotch’s button up from the ground and put them on quickly. She grabbed the phone and ran out to the living room, closing the door, making sure not to wake Hotch.

She went to sit on the couch as she answered the phone, “Sean. What. Is. Going. On.”

“Emily, I’m sorry to call you so late but we need to talk.”, Sean said.

“Can this _wait a few days?_ ”, she asked.

“I’m in D.C. right now. Can we meet?”, he asked.

“You’re _what?_ ”, she asked.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“Well... I’m not. I’m in New York right now.”, she said.

“This is important.”, he said.

“I’ll be back on Tuesday. Can it wait till then?”, she asked. She heard him sigh and became concerned. “Sean... what’s going on?”

“I shouldn’t talk about this over the phone.”, he said.

“ _Sean_.”, she said.

“It has to do with Doyle.”, he said.

“What is it?”, she said, suddenly alert and wide awake, completely still.

“He... he escaped. He’s out... just... can you meet before Tuesday?”, he asked.

“What...”, she said.

“Doyle’s ou-“, he started.

“That’s impossible.”, she said.

“Well, it’s true.”, he said.

“How did- how did this happen?”, she asked, starting to feel a true anxiety attack come on.

“I don’t know but all I know is he’s out and headed to D.C.”, he said.

“What? How do you know that? Did he make contact with you or anyone else?”, she asked.

“Not exactly. Just- Emily, this is important.”, he said.

“Well, yeah. Obviously.”, she said.

“Tsia and Clyde haven’t answered any of my calls. Can you get ahold of them? I need us all working this.”, he said.

“I don’t work for Interpol anymore. I don’t see how I could be of any help...”, she said.

“Emily, I’m not asking you to officially work it.”, he said.

“Well, what _are_ you asking then?”, she asked.

“... I need you guys to be on this. Not as an official assignment. I know I can’t give you orders but...”, he said.

“He’s coming after us, isn’t he?”, she said.

“He’s not just coming after you guys... he has one goal. He’ll just happen to knock anyone and anything down that’s in his way. But his main target is...”, he said.

“Me...”, she said.

“How soon can you get back here?”, he asked.

“I’m... in New York with my boyfriend right now. We’re spending Easter with his son tomorrow and his mom. He’s staying with her till Tuesday when we leave while _we’re_ at a hotel. It’s... our anniversary tonight...”, she said.

“Emily, this can’t wait.”, he said.

“Well, it’ll have to. I can’t just _leave_.”, she said.

“Don’t you want to protect them?”, he asked.

“Could they be in danger?”, she asked, her voice suddenly starting to become wobbly.

“We all are.”, he said.

“Sean, he’s only 4.”, she said.

“Doyle thinks you killed his son... he’s not gonna care.”, Sean said, quietly.

“This is not happening.”, she said, under her breath. “What am I supposed to do about them? Aaron means everything to me and so does his son. I can’t just let them be targets...”, she said.

“Just distance yourself for a bit.”, he said.

“I can’t _do that_ . We live with each other. _His son lives with us_.”, she said.

“Get in touch with Tsia and Clyde. Have them get to D.C. and stay with them I guess. I don’t know but you can’t be putting a civilian at risk.”, he said.

“He’s not actually, he’s... he’s my boss.”, she said.

“Oh... well... still. He can’t help you here. It’s just us in this. It’s just the four of us.”, he said.

“I have no idea what to do right now.”, she said.

“Alright... maybe it’s best if you stay there for a few days. You’re probably safer there right now and he isn’t here yet. But... just get back as soon as you can. We need to talk in person and you need to get ahold of Tsia and Clyde.”, he said.

“Yeah... okay.”, she nodded.

“Alright...”, he said.

“How concerned should I be?”, she said.

“Just get here when you can and call them.”, he said after a pause.

“Okay... I’ll let you know when I’m headed home.”, she said.

“Alright. Keep me updated.”, he said.

“Same.”, she said.

“Okay, stay safe. I’ll talk to you later.”, he said.

“Sounds good. Bye.”, she said, hanging up.

She clutched her phone to her chest and tried to take a deep breath, contemplating what to do next. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to grab a Xanax from her bag, call Tsia or Clyde, or grab a drink. She ended up choosing the latter. 

Trying to calm her nerves, she walked to the mini fridge and grabbed a few mini bottles and poured all of the first one in her mouth at once. Figuring she’d need more, she grabbed a few more and sat down on the couch, turning on the tv. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep for a while and _The Twilight Zone_ was on. She figured she could just watch some of that and drink until she felt tired enough and distracted enough from the news she had just gotten. 

After an episode and a few bottles, she was barely feeling anything so she went into the bedroom quietly. She threw on some pants but didn’t even bother putting on a bra or another shirt. Instead, she just slipped on some shoes and took her phone and some cash, along with her key.

She carefully slipped out of the suite and closed the door. She walked down the hall, trying not to cry and somehow succeeded. She was barely tipsy but still felt a little something so decided not to drive their car or even take a cab anywhere. 

Emily took the elevator down and walked to the hotel bar. Even though it was the middle of the night, it was still open. She walked into the dimly lit area and went up to the empty bar top.

“You wanting to bring something back up to your room or sit for a little?”, the bartender asked.

“Honestly... I don’t know.”, Emily said.

“Take a seat for now. What can I get you?”, he asked.

“That is _also_ something I don’t know.”, she laughed as she took a seat and rested her elbows on the bar top. 

“Hey uh... no offense but you look like hell. Whatever you want... first one’s on the house.”, he said.

“Seriously?”, she asked.

“Normally I wouldn’t but... people are typically not like _this_ when they come to _this_ bar. They’re usually pretty happy on a trip or _pretending_ to be on a business trip but really spending a few nights with another woman. So... yeah. First one’s on the house.”, he said.

“I’ll take a vodka soda I guess.”, she said.

“Sure thing.”, he said, fixing her drink.

“I tried to stay in my room and just have the mini bottles but they’re _mini_.”, she said.

“Yeah, they do that on purpose. Racks up the bill but usually isn’t enough to really get you drunk which sends them right back down here to spend more money. Another reason why _this_ is free.”, he said, setting the drink down in front of her.

“Thank you.”, she said, picking it up and taking a sip.

“So, I don’t know if you know this but bartenders are used to hearing about other people’s problems...”, he said.

“Mine are typically a bit more complicated than most. Probably even more so than the type of guests you get here.”, she said.

“Maybe so but... this isn’t the first bar I’ve worked at. I’ve heard a lot. Care to dump all your troubles onto me?”, he chuckled.

“Just because you’ve heard a lot, doesn’t mean you’d understand or want to hear more.”, she said.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t and you have no idea what I’d understand.”, he said, raising an eyebrow and she laughed.

“I don’t know.”, she said.

“Try me.”, he said.

“We’re getting along so well, you might hate me if I talk about it.”, she said.

“I highly doubt that.”, he smiled.

“Alright.”, she cleared her throat. “I’m an FBI agent.”

“Here to arrest me for anything? You undercover? Tracking me?”, he asked.

“No.”, she laughed.

“Then I have no reason to hate you. Go on.”, he said.

“Alright... well... something has come up from an old case somewhere else... I got involved a little... on a more personal level... now things are... not looking so good you could say.”, she said.

“Alright. Yeah. I wouldn’t understand that.”, he laughed. “ _But_... yeah, okay, I got nothing else. But I can listen.”

“Not much else to really say, I guess. Just got the news. Worst part is- well I don’t know if it’s the worst part but a bad part is, is that I was having a really good dream. I almost never have those anymore. But the phone woke me up. The phone woke me up just so I could get bad news.”, she said.

“Well, I’ve had _that_ happen before.”, he said.

“Yeah, it’s not great.”, she said.

“You here alone or...?”, he asked.

“In the bar? No. You’re here.”, she laughed.

“ _At the hotel._ ”, he chuckled.

“No. I’m with my boyfriend. It’s our anniversary.”, she said, taking a few sips of her drink.

“Ah. And he’s...”, he said.

“Asleep. Up in our room.”, she said.

“Ah. Why isn’t he down here with you?”, he asked.

“He needs sleep. We’re going to his ex-wife’s house tomorrow for Easter.”, she said and then checked her phone sitting on the bar top. “Oh. I guess technically today, seeing as it’s 2:00 in the morning.”, she laughed, finishing her drink already.

“Another vodka soda?”, he asked.

“I’m gonna mix it up. I’ll take a couple shots of tequila.”, she said.

“Alright.”, he said, taking her glass, and swapping it out for two shots of tequila. “So... you’re going to his _ex-wife’s_ place for Easter?”, he asked, confused.

“I’m friends with her but it’s mainly just because of his son. He lives with us but he’s staying with her for a few days while we’re out here. So we decided to spend Easter with her. Oh! And her boyfriend too.”, she said.

“That... sounds...”, he trailed off.

“Thought you’d heard it all, huh.”, she said, taking a shot of tequila.

“That one is definitely a first but it’s not as wild as some other things for sure.”, he said.

“It works. It really does.”, she said.

“Where do you guys live?”, he asked.

“Back in D.C. so we really aren’t that far away.”, she said.

“Why does his son live with you guys and not his mom?”, he asked.

“Here’s something else you’ve probably never heard either. Although, this might be a little wilder.”, she whispered.

“Lay it on me.”, he told her.

“His son, Jack, and Jack’s mom were in witness protection.”, she said.

“Whoa.”, he said.

“They came back and her boyfriend got a job offer here and so did she. She didn’t want to stay there because of everything that happened. Not a good reminder but we didn’t want Jack leaving his friends and school again so... we have an arrangement. We swap for holidays, come up every now and then, her sister lives in D.C. so she helps out when Aaron, my boyfriend, and I have to travel for work so, it works out.”, she said.

“Why were they in witness protection?”, he asked.

“A serial killer was after them.”, she said bluntly. 

“What?”, he said, staring at her. “Wait, hold on... what do you do for the FBI exactly? And both of you work there?”

“We work at the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico.”, she said.

“What’s that? Oh hold on... you guys like get inside the minds of serial killers and study their behavior and all that stuff, right?”, he asked.

“Yeah. We’re profilers. Or officially... _Supervisory Special Agents._ My boyfriend is the Unit Chief and we only somewhat recently came out to the team about our relationship so in one way it feels very fresh but we’ve also been together for two years... today. Or, well... I guess yesterday.”, she laughed. “But... serial killers apparently love targeting us.”, she smiled sarcastically, taking the other shot.

“So one of the serial killers you were tracking, was targeting your boyfriend’s family? Why would they do that? Wait who was it? Would I have heard of them?”, he asked.

“That’s a long story but I guess you could say they had a disagreement and he eventually targeted my boyfriend and attacked him, threatening his family.”, she said.

“Attacked him? Who was it?”, he asked.

“Ever hear of _The Boston Reaper?_ ”, she asked.

“Yeah, of course. Everyone has.”, he said.

“He broke into our place and stabbed my boyfriend. Put him in the hospital but we caught him months later and were able to bring Jack and his mom home.”, she nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m gonna need some more of these.”, she said, pushing the shot glasses towards him.

“Next two are also on the house...”, he said with wide eyes.

“You really don’t have to do that.”, she said.

“I know.”, he smiled, pouring two more shots. “Pace yourself though.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had a drink.”, she chuckled.

“I’m Jace by the way.”, he said, holding out hand.

“Emily.”, she said taking it and shaking it. “Jace. That’s uh- that’s actually a name I have on my list for baby names.”, she laughed.

“It’s a good name.”, he chuckled. “Are you guys trying?”, he asked.

“No. Not right now. Not yet. But soon. Oh my god! That’s what I had a dream about!”, she said, starting to finally feel a little more than tipsy but within a good limit, still in control of herself, just letting loose finally.

“A dream about...”, he said.

“I had a dream that Aaron and I had a baby. And we were happy...”, she said, starting to tear up. “We were really happy.”

“Are you not right now...?”, he asked.

“No. We are. We are really happy. I’m sorry. Now, I’ve gone to this place that you’re probably sick of seeing all the time. The sad, drunk person, spilling all their feelings. This is the annoying type.”, she tried to laugh and brought her tears back.

“Emily, I’ve seen it all. I wouldn’t still be doing what I’m doing if it annoyed me. Besides, you’re good company, believe it or not. It’s nice to talk to a real honest person who isn’t some millionaire business man, getting away to screw his assistant for the weekend or some escort or having to host a bunch of drunk wild party animals in here that trash the place and don’t care because they have a bunch of money. Sure, the tips are great but it’s nice having a real conversation.”, he said.

“You’re nice.”, she smiled. “And full of crap.”

“I thought you study behavior. You should be able to tell I’m not lying.”, he said and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m drunk. It’s a little harder when I’m drunk.”, she said.

“Fair enough.”, he said.

“Fine. You really wanna hear about my feelings?”, she laughed.

“I _really_ do.”, he nodded.

She took a shot of tequila and looked at him. “I want to have a baby with Aaron. And I know he wants it more than anything. But I haven’t been ready. And now I feel like I am. And things in our life are stable. But I’ve been afraid to tell him the past couple weeks. And then I thought he was about to propose tonight and I flipped out. Not in a good way. And I hurt his feelings.”, she nodded down, disappointed in herself. “He doesn’t care if we’re married before we have a baby or not. I know he’s ready for it. And now I know I am but I’ve been scared to tell him because then it becomes real which is good yet... it still scares me... but now...”, she sighed. “Now I just got that phone call and I can’t tell him I want a baby now. I can’t have a baby with this... thing happening. I don’t know what’s gonna happen with it. I don’t know what’s gonna happen with anything.”, she said.

“Would you be surprised if I said I’ve heard this issue before?”, he asked.

“Actually no, I would not. I’d be surprised if you told me the last part you’ve heard before but not the main part, no.”, she said.

“Well... what are you gonna do?”, he asked.

“I have no idea, Jace. Absolutely none. All I can do for now is lay low and not bring up the fact that I want to start a family with my boyfriend yet until I know everything else is alright.”, she said.

“I’m sorry...”, he said.

“I just feel bad for him. I know he doesn’t know that’s how I feel so I’m glad I haven’t told him already otherwise I _would_ be going back on what I said. But here’s the thing, he can’t know that there’s an old case that’s popped up because I can’t have him getting too close to it.”, she said.

“That’s... definitely complicated.”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she sighed. “Welcome to my life.”, she smiled, taking the other shot.

“So which thing brought you down tonight?”, he asked.

“Down here?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he said.

“Everything.”, she said.

“Okay, how about we focus on happy stuff now?”, he chuckled.

“Deal.”, she said.

“What’d you guys do for your anniversary?”, he asked.

“Well, we finally got time alone once we got here and checked in, which we haven’t had for a little bit because of Jack so we spent some time together alone. We went to the Guggenheim and got some food. We spent some more time here and we rested. We went out to a really nice restaurant. And we went to the Empire State Building after that and were the only ones up on the 86th floor so it was really nice. Oh and he gave me this necklace.”, she said, playing with it.

“That sounds like an extremely eventful day.”, he said.

“ _Extremely_.”, she laughed.

“Did you want another drink? If not, it’s fine. I don’t mind just sitting here, talking.”, he said.

“I’ll take one more shot.”, she said.

He nodded once and poured her one more shot of tequila. “So how long are you here for?”, he asked.

“Until Tuesday.”, she said.

“Think you might come back down before then?”, he asked.

“Possibly. Especially since you told me about the mini bottles. I might just have to.”, she laughed.

After talking a little while more and a couple drinks later, even though she said she’d only have one, she looked at the time. 

“Oh wow. Okay. It’s almost 3:30 and I’m drunk. I should probably go back to my room now.”, she said, taking her last shot and stood up. “Thank you... for... well... everything tonight.”, she smiled.

“Anytime. Well, anytime while you’re here I guess.”, he chuckled. “Could I maybe get your number actually? In a totally platonic way. I really don’t want it to seem like I’m hitting on you. And I realize it must seem like that now. I’m sorry that is not- I’m not, I- I’m gay. And I’m in a committed relationship and I swear, I’m not coming on-“, he said while she laughed and held her hand out.

He took out his phone out and handed it to her while she put her number in it and handed him her phone for him to do the same.

“I know, Jace. I’m a profiler, remember?”, she laughed.

“Right.”, he smiled and nodded.

“I’ll see you around. I’ll make sure to say _bye_ before I leave. Maybe even introduce you to Aaron.”, she said.

“I’d like that.”, he said.

She grabbed a twenty dollar bill and set it on the bar. “That’s just for you. You can charge the room for the actual tab.”, she said.

“Whoa, a twenty?”, he said.

“Just take it.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“I came down here with it before I got drunk. I intended on using it. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing .”, she said.

“Alright. Well, thank you.”, he said.

“I’ll text you.”, she said.

“Get some rest, Emily.”, he said.

“You too. Whenever you get to.”, she said, walking out and waving.

She went back up to her room and stumbled in the door. She walked into their bedroom and kicked her shoes off along with her pants but keeping Hotch’s shirt on and her underwear.

She crawled into bed and set her phone on the night table, getting under the sheets and scooting over to him. When she rested her head on Hotch’s chest and kissed it, hugging his side, he moved a bit and opened his eyes slightly. 

“Mmm... Em?”, he grumbled.

“Hi, honey.”, she said, nuzzling her head on his chest more.

“What are you doing up?”, he asked.

She pulled back and put her hand on his face, stroking it, leaning in and kissing him deep.

“You taste like tequila.”, he said.

“I might be a little drunk.”, she said, slurring her words.

“A _little?_ ”, he asked.

“Okay, I’m _really_ drunk.”, she giggled, kissing him again.

“Why?”, he asked. She stared at him for a moment and smiled softly before kissing him again. “Honey. Are you okay?”, he asked, pulling back.

“I made a friend at the bar downstairs.”, she said.

“Uh huh?”, he chuckled.

“He’s really nice and he listened to all my troubles.”, she said.

“What?”, he asked, getting more concerned and confused for multiple reasons.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t some rando. It was the bartender and he’s gay. But I got his number. I actually have a new friend. Aren’t you happy?”, she grinned with her eyes closed, too tired to keep them open.

He laughed and kissed her nose. “You are so cute. And yes, that’s good but... why were you down at the bar? And _what troubles?_ ”, he asked.

“Let’s just sleep.”, she said, giving him one last kiss and pressing her forehead to his, holding his face before resting her head and hand on his chest.

“Em.”, he said, wrapping his arms around her.

“Mmm?”, she said.

“What’s going on?”, he asked, holding her close.

“Noth...” she mumbled and trailed off, starting to fall asleep.

“Em?”, he said and within only a few seconds he could tell she was asleep. He shook her lightly, still a bit concerned but when she started her “ _cute little snoring_ ” as he would call it, he could tell she was out and decided to join her in it.

He rubbed her back and gave her a kiss on the head before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

* * *

**beginning with the next chapter, it will be getting into the lauren reynolds/ian doyle storyline for a couple chapters and then big, happy stuff after that i have been waiting a while to get to! thank you, please leave reviews :)**   
  



	87. Valhalla/Lauren

**Chapter 87**

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***this chapter is based on the episodes “valhalla” and “lauren” but obviously has quite a few changes. i combined them to make one long chapter instead of two short ones. first half pov is emily and second half is hotch. some well known lines from the episode are used in this and some are very similar to them. some of it is fast paced because the episodes were as well. i hope you enjoy! please leave reviews, i could use feedback, positive and criticism. thank you!***

  
  
  
  
  


***SPOILER***

***emily does not fake her own death but instead has everything work out well by the end of the chapter with a happy surprise that will carry into the next one.***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Three weeks later, after dealing with Ian Doyle sending Emily messages and her meeting up with Tsia and Clyde, it became more and more difficult for her to keep it a secret from Hotch. 

She was constantly taking secret phone calls from them and going over to a place they were staying at, meanwhile, lying to Hotch about it all. 

She kept telling herself it was to protect him but all she wanted to do was tell him the truth and let him help her. She knew that’s what he would try to do if she told him but also knew that was the most dangerous option. It would put him _and_ Jack at risk. Not to mention, the rest of the team.

The whole time, she’d told him that a friend was in town and going through a crisis and needed help with stuff that she couldn’t talk about. He seemed to believe it but still knew something was off. 

All he wanted was to be there for her and could tell how much of a toll everything was taking on her. 

Monday morning, before they got ready for work, Hotch was in the shower. Emily was doing the dishes from breakfast, while Jack was playing with his toys by the couch.

As she was finishing drying them off, there was a knock on the door. She wiped her hands off and a few seconds later, the knock continued.

“Hold on!”, Emily called out.

She opened the door and JJ came in at a determined pace, sweaty and slightly out of breath in her running clothes.

Before Emily could say another word, JJ started.

“I know, I know. I should’ve called but I had to get out. I just needed some space and some fresh air and I just- next thing I know I’m out jogging and- and then I’m here and I don’t know. I just-“, JJ said and sighed, stopping in place as Emily closed the door.

“Come on in...”, Emily said confused.

“I’m sorry.”, JJ said.

“ _What’s going on? Are you okay?_ ”, Emily asked.

“I’m freaking out and I don’t know why!”, JJ said.

“Hi!”, Jack said and waved from across the room with a big smile.

“Hey, Jack.”, JJ smiled.

“JJ.”, Emily said.

“Will proposed last night.”, JJ said, holding up her hand to show Emily the ring.

“Oh my god! JJ! Congratulations!”, Emily shouted, giving her a big hug. “Wait, what’s the problem? Why are you freaking out?”

“I don’t know.”, JJ said, walking over to the couch and sat down, Emily following her and sitting right beside her.

“Hold on... did you _run_ here?”, Emily asked.

“Maybe...”, JJ said.

“That’s like 25 minutes!”, Emily said.

“Yeah, I know. I just went out for a jog to clear my head and next thing I know, I’m here. I just kept going. I’m freaking out.”, JJ said.

“Okay... good freaking out or _bad_ freaking out?”, Emily asked.

“Both?”, JJ said.

“Uhhh...”, Emily said.

“I know, it doesn’t make sense...”, JJ sighed.

“This is happy news, right?”, Emily asked.

“Yes, of course. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”, JJ said.

“Well, that’s normal, right? I mean-“, Emily began right as Hotch started to come out of the bedroom.

Having not heard the door knock or JJ come in, he didn’t think twice about walking out shirtless.

“Honey, did we do the laundry because I have no clean sh-“, he started, walking out in only his pajamas pants. Once he saw JJ, he froze. “JJ! What the... _heck_ are you doing here?!”, he said once he realized Jack was out there as well. He was about to turn around before she turned her head and closed her eyes.

“Oh... I’m sorry...”, JJ said, almost blushing.

Emily stood up fast and ran over to the dryer, grabbing a shirt and walking back over to Hotch, handing it to him.

“Here.”, she said.

“Thanks...”, he said with wide eyes, darting them towards JJ and back to Emily.

“She just came over. Will proposed and she’s freaking out.”, she whispered.

“What? Why?”, he asked, putting on his shirt. 

“Just- come.”, she said, taking his hand and dragging him to the couch.

“You can open your eyes now, JJ.”, he said.

“Sorry about that.”, JJ said.

“No, _I’m_ sorry. I didn’t realize you were here...”, he said, taking a seat with Emily on the couch.

“You’re fine.”, JJ said.

“So... can someone tell me what’s going on?”, he asked.

“It’s normal to freak out in a good _and_ not so good way when someone proposes to you, right?”, Emily asked him.

“Oh. Well. I wouldn’t know. _My_ girlfriend flipped out when she thought _I_ was proposing. No _good_ freaking out _there_.”, he said, eyeing Emily.

“How many times do I have to say _I’m sorry!_ ”, Emily said.

“It’s okay, hun. I love you.”, he chuckled, giving her a kiss.

“I love you too. And I wanna marry you. Just not right now. But I do. Don’t forget that.”, she smiled and put her hand on his face.

He nodded and gave her another kiss. “Hey, buddy, you doin’ okay over there?”, Hotch asked Jack.

“Uh huh.”, Jack nodded, still focusing on his toys he was playing with.

“What about with Haley? Did either of you have any doubts when you guys got engaged?”, JJ asked, regretting it right after.

“Uhhh...”, he said, trying to think of how to answer without involving him and Haley. “It’s normal for everyone to have doubts at some point, sure. But it’s not strange if you don’t. Everyone is different but you guys love each other and it’s important to not rush into this and seriously think about it and make sure it’s what you want. You’re promising to spend the rest of your life with this person and stay by their side no matter what... that means something. To love them unconditionally, and people who break that... obviously didn’t take it seriously or consider what it meant enough. But when you find that person, it’s pretty obvious.”, he said, gazing at Emily.

“Wow... your words just _move_ people, you know that? You’re a very wise man. Whenever you _do_ propose, make sure Emily is wearing waterproof mascara. She’s a crier.”, JJ laughed.

“I am _not!_ ”, Emily said.

“You are with me, hun.”, he chuckled, pulling her into him, leaning her back against his front. 

He started to wrap his arms around her but she swatted them away, only to grab them and pull them around her tight a few seconds later. He rested his head over her shoulder and gave her cheek a kiss.

“Shut up.”, she said.

“I love you too, babe.”, he said, kissing her cheek again.

“Why _don’t_ you guys get married now?”, JJ asked.

“Aaron, will you make us some coffee?”, Emily asked, changing the topic.

“Sure.”, he said, picking up on what she was doing. He rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head as he stood up.

“Thanks.”, Emily said.

As Hotch walked away, JJ and Emily looked at each other and scooted closer.

“Okay, I’m sorry about that thing when he came out of his room but...”, JJ started and raised her eyebrows and smirked while giving Emily a nod. 

“What? What is that?”, Emily asked.

“I’m not hitting on him or saying I’m attracted to him at all, even though he is very handsome, I’m not calling him ugly-“, JJ said before Emily interrupted her.

“JJ, it’s fine. I get it. What’s your point?”, Emily laughed.

“But I’m just saying... _nice. Good job. Very impressive_.”, JJ whispered.

“Ohh... yeah, the six pack is a bonus.”, Emily giggled. “He’s usually kind of self-conscious about his scars but I barely notice them.”

“I mean I only saw for a brief moment but I didn’t notice any _but_ it was pretty quick.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, well, he’s been comfortable being shirtless and all around me for a little bit now but it took him a while.”, Emily said.

“I can imagine...”, JJ said.

“Anyways, let me see that ring!”, Emily said, grabbing JJ’s hand. “Wow... It’s _really_ beautiful, Jayje.”

“It _is_.”, JJ said.

“JJ, do you want any cream or sugar?”, Hotch asked.

“No, no, I’m good. Thank you.”, she said as Hotch brought over their coffee.

“Thanks, sweetie.”, Emily said as he handed it to her.

“Yeah.”, he said.

Right as they sat down, Hotch started to pull Emily back into him but before she could lay back, her phone rang. She stood up fast and almost ran to it in the kitchen. 

When she saw it was Tsia, she quickly went to the bedroom and closed the door. She walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her, answering the phone.

“Hey, what’s going on?”, Emily said.

“Doyle’s here. In D.C.”, Tsia said.

“I’m on my way.”, Emily said.

“You can not alarm your boyfriend, alright? You’ve come over a lot. You have to find a good excuse.”, Clyde said.

“Yeah, because you’ve been _telling me to_. Look, I don’t really have a choice. I’ll figure something out, alright? Just let me get dressed and I’ll head over.”, Emily said.

“Alright, fine.”, Tsia said before Emily hung up and paced in the bathroom for a moment, trying to think of an excuse to leave. 

She got dressed fast and walked out into the living room over to Jack, giving him a kiss and ruffled his hair before going back over to Hotch and JJ. 

“Where are you going?”, Hotch asked, confused.

“My friend needs some help.”, Emily said, giving Hotch a quick kiss.

“ _Again?_ With what?”, he asked.

“It’s private. I love you. I’ll be back soon. I’m sorry, JJ. We’ll finish talking later but Aaron’s really good with this stuff, okay? I’ll see you later.”, Emily said, waving as she ran out the door.

Once she got to Tsia and Clyde’s, Emily did their secret knock on the door and they let her in. She walked over to the couch and they all sat down.

“Okay, so what happened?”, Emily said.

“Doyle is here.”, Tsia said.

“Yeah... I’ve been meaning to tell you that...”, Emily said.

“What are you talking about?”, Tsia asked.

“You _knew?_ ”, Clyde asked.

“I sat across from him two nights ago.”, Emily said.

“What?”, Tsia said.

“What the hell are you talking about?”, Clyde said.

“He wants _me_ . He’s coming after _me_.”, Emily said.

“So you decide to _lure_ him?”, Clyde asked.

“Why didn’t you kill him?”, Tsia asked.

“He’s not working alone.”, Emily said.

“Well neither are _we_.”, Tsia said.

“Barely. It’s just the three of us. He got to Sean. It’s _just the three of us_.”, Emily said.

“We can take him.”, Tsia said.

“Are you out of your mind? He’s a terrorist. He’s got more than three people.”, Emily said.

“We don’t really have a choice, now do we?”, Clyde said.

Emily sighed and dropped her head, shaking it. She looked back up at them and Clyde shook his head.

“No.”, Tsia said.

“Absolutely not.”, Clyde said.

“They can help.”, Emily said.

“No. They can’t. They aren’t trained spies and they don’t have the authority to do so either. I know they’re your people but they’d have no clue what they’d be up against.”, Clyde said.

“How am I supposed to keep lying?”, Emily said.

“To your team or to your _boyfriend?_ ”, Tsia asked.

“Both...”, Emily said.

“Just don’t focus on them. Make sure they’re safe but that’s it. That’s all you can do.”, Tsia said.

“Yeah, and the only way to do so is to not get them involved.”, Clyde raised an eyebrow.

“Fine...”, Emily said.

“Weren’t you the one opposed to telling them anyways?”, Tsia asked.

“Yeah, at first. But I’ve kept this from Aaron for so long and suddenly, it doesn’t feel like the worst thing in the world if I told him.”, Emily said.

“Do you want to come clean about it because you want their help or because _you want to tell Aaron?_ ”, Clyde asked.

“Both. He deserves to know the truth and my team could help.”, Emily said.

“But they can’t.”, Clyde said.

“Well how do we plan on ending all of this, huh?”, Emily asked.

“I think you know the answer to that.”, Clyde said.

“Wait, so how do _you guys_ know he’s here?”, Emily asked.

Right as Tsia opened her mouth, Emily’s phone rang. She looked at it and saw that it was Aaron and sighed.

“Boyfriend?”, Tsia asked.

Emily gave her a look and picked up the phone. “Hey, what’s up?”, she asked, rushed.

“You okay, hun?”, he asked.

“Aaron what’s going on?”, she asked, rushed again.

“Honey-“, he started.

“ _Aaron_. I’m busy.”, she said.

“Sorry... we got a case. I’m giving JJ a ride home to change and then we’re headi-“, he said.

“What kind of case?”, she asked.

“A couple murders. Both homes torched, news isn’t even talking about it, both families have connections to Europe. One _looks_ like murder-suicide and the other _seems_ like they died in a gas leak.”, he said.

“The families had connections to Europe, huh?”, Emily asked, putting him on speaker and looking at Tsia and Clyde.

“Yeah, why?”, Hotch asked.

“No reason. Uh, you’re not convinced that’s how everything went down though? Where were they?”, she asked.

“In D.C. and no. The father in the supposed murder-suicide reportedly shot his family, set the room on fire and then shot himself but he had no smoke in his lungs. It doesn’t add up, along with inconsistencies from the other family.”, he said.

“Is there any other connection between them?”, she asked.

“I’m not sure yet. Can you just meet at the BAU?”, he asked.

“Yeah, sure.”, she said.

“How far are y-?”, he asked.

“I’ll leave in just a minute.”, she said.

“O- okay, love you, ba-.”, he said.

“Bye.”, she said, quickly, hanging up.

“Jeez.”, Tsia said.

“What?”, Emily asked.

“Barely let him get a word in. Barely answered him. Got really short with him.”, Tsia said.

“I’m stressed and I’m lying to him and he’s good at what he does and finding things out. I don’t know how to answer a lot of his questions.”, Emily said.

“Men are stupid but _he_ doesn’t seem like it so much. Regardless, when women start acting like that, that’s usually one thing we pick up on. You better make sure you’re not doing more harm or leading him to this even more by acting so sketchy.”, Clyde said.

“Thanks for that.”, Emily said, sarcastically. “Do you think this could be Doyle he was talking about?”

“It’s possible.”, Tsia said.

“I mean, the connections with Europe and these were obviously staged.”, Emily said.

“Go check it out and get back to us.”, Tsia said.

“Yeah, alright.”, Emily nodded, standing up.

“And stop being so suspicious or he _will_ catch on.”, Clyde said.

“I know.”, Emily sighed as she walked to the door. “I’ll call you guys as soon as I know something.”

“Alright. Be safe.”, Tsia said, letting her out.

“I will.”, Emily said.

Emily drove to the BAU and rushed to the conference room, only to find everyone there already, starting to review the case. She walked in and headed towards a chair next to Hotch he’d made sure to keep empty for her.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. Traffic.”, Emily said as she sat down when they all looked over at her.

“You okay?”, Hotch whispered, putting his hand on her leg once she sat down.

“We’re at work, Aaron.”, she whispered back, looking over at him and he took his hand off her, looking down at the table. She instantly felt bad for saying it, making him feel bad.

After they went over the case more, they all stood up and walked out. With Hotch and Emily being the last ones to head out, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back in.

“Aaron.”, she said and he turned to face her. “Honey, I’m sorry. I’m just... you know.”

“No. I don’t. Care to enlighten me?”, he said.

“Listen, I’ve just been a little stressed. With my friend being in town, it’s just kind of a lot and I’m sorry.”, she said, rubbing his arm.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”, he asked.

“No, it’s okay. I’m just sorry I’ve been so on edge and taking it out on you. You don’t deserve that.”, she said.

“How about tonight, you and I go out for dinner?”, he suggested, wrapping his arms around her waist while she put her hands on his chest.

“I’d love to, I really would but-“, she said.

“Your friend needs you... right. Got it.”, he nodded, releasing her.

“That’s not what I was going to say.”, she said.

“Well what _were_ you going to say? Because I’ve barely gotten a minute alone with you the past couple weeks and I’m sorry, I know your friend is going through something and I get you can’t talk about it... kind of... but I miss you. You’re not yourself. I feel like I barely see you except at work and in bed before we go to sleep. You’re just absent. I’m worried.”, he said.

“Please don’t be worried. _I’m right here_.”, she said.

“But you’re not.”, he said.

“Sweetie, look at me.”, she said, holding his face. “ _I’m right here_.”

“You just seem so distant. You won’t let me in.”, he said.

“It has _nothing_ to do with you.”, she said.

“So what does it have to do with?”, he asked.

“I can’t-“, she started.

“Talk about it. Yeah. You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”, he said.

“That’s not fair.”, she said.

“It’s true.”, he said.

She sighed and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Call Jessica and ask if she can watch Jack tonight.”, she said.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because I’m going out to dinner with my boyfriend.”, she said.

“Really?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she smiled softly before giving him a kiss.

“Where do you wanna go?”, he asked.

“You choose.”, she said.

“Okay. I’ll go give her a call.”, he said.

“Sounds good.”, she said.

He took her hand and kissed it, holding it close, giving her a kiss right as Rossi walked in.

“Sorry to interrupt but...”, Rossi said as they pulled apart. “You wanna go check out one of the crime scenes with me?”, he asked Emily.

“Sure.”, she told him. “I’ll see you when we’re back.”, she said to Hotch.

“Okay. Drive safe.”, he said.

“I will.”, she said, giving his hand a squeeze before walking out with Rossi.

They drove to one of the crime scenes and looked around, finding what seemed to be a panic room. Looking at more and more evidence, her hunch about Ian Doyle being involved, got stronger.

When they got back, they were about to join together again in the conference room. Emily walked up to Hotch’s office to find him gathering some files.

“Hey, so, there’s this new sushi place and I know I told you to choose a place for tonight but it looks really-“, she said and stopped once she saw his face. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re gonna have to reschedule.”, he said.

“How come?”, she asked.

“We’re gonna be working this one late tonight. I was about to call Jessica to let her know but to still watch Jack till we get home. I’m sorry. I know it was my idea but this is gonna take a while.”, he said, stressed.

“It’s okay.”, she said, walking in and coming up to him. She rubbed his shoulder and looked at him. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just annoyed that this is taking up our time tonight.”, he said.

“It’s okay. We’ll go out another night this week, okay?”, she said.

“It was the first time in a while we actually _had some time_. I wanted to enjoy it.”, he said.

“I know...”, she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”, he said, shaking his head. “Let’s just get in there.”

“Okay.”, she said, kissing his cheek. He looked back at her and smiled, walking out of his office and to the conference room with her. “Oh, how’d it go with JJ?”

“Talked her down and she feels much better about everything.”, he said.

“Phew. Good. I knew you could.”, she said.

“I think she’s gonna ask you to be her maid of honor.”, he said.

“She better. She’s gonna be mine. Well, that is if I even have one.”, she said.

“What do you mean, _if you even have one?_ ”, he asked.

“Well, it depends on what kind of wedding we’ll have or how big. I mean would you want to have a big wedding again? I don’t know if I do or not. I’d honestly be okay just going to City Hall, just you and me and then having a party later on with some friends.”, she said.

“Seriously?”, he asked as they took a seat.

“Yeah. Why?”, she asked before they all started talking about the case again.

They looked into a mutual contact between the two families that they were investigating the deaths of. Emily and Derek decided to go talk to him and hopefully get some answers.

“Hotch left early.”, Derek said, driving.

“Yeah, I guess Jack wasn’t feeling well so Jessica made him some soup for dinner but he might have a bug.”, Emily said.

“Ah. Think he’ll be at work tomorrow?”, he asked.

“I’m sure he will. Jessica will probably just stay home with him if he’s still feeling sick. This seems like a big case...”, she said, taking in a deep breath and looking off to the side.

“You alright?”, he asked.

“I really wish everyone would just stop asking me that.”, she snapped.

“Sorry...”, he said.

“Looks like we’re here.”, she said, switching to something else immediately and opening the car door once he parked.

“Yeah...”, he said, getting out.

“I don’t know if anybody’s ho-“, she started before multiple men in masks came out of the new victim’s house. 

They started shooting at Emily and Derek and he grabbed her and pulled her behind the car. 

“Looks like we’re a little too late.”, he said, getting out his gun while she did the same.

“Yeah, I guess so.”, she said.

They stood up and ducked behind cars on and off, shooting at the group of men as they ran off and got in a van. 

Emily finally got a good shot in and hit one of them in the leg. Before he could get in the van, one of the other’s shot him twice, once in his wrist and once in the head. 

They drove off right after while Emily and Derek ran after the man on the ground. They lifted the mask off his face and noticed a tattoo that was barely recognizable because of the bullet shot at it. Although Derek couldn’t identify it, Emily was almost positive she knew exactly what it was. 

After they got a crime scene unit to come down there and filled out reports back at work, she went over to Tsia and Clyde’s place. Once again, doing their secret knock, they let her in, freaking out.

“Okay, whoa. Calm down.”, Tsia said.

“He’s getting closer. And when I say closer, I mean, possibly him and a group of other men just shot at me after they killed another person.”, Emily said.

“And you know it’s them...”, Tsia said.

“Who else would it be? This victim had connections with the other two families and he’s got connections with another country and-“, Emily said and took a deep breath. “And I hit one of the guys and they shot him in the head and in the wrist right where he had a tattoo that was hard to make out but it easily could have been the same as Doyle’s. All his men have them, right?”

“Don’t you think he would’ve made sure not to miss if he was going after you? We’ve established you’re his goal.”, Tsia said.

“No. They wanted to scare her and show how easily they can get to her team. If he really was trying to kill you, Emily, he would have. He wouldn’t miss. He plans everything. He has something else planned. He has to.”, Clyde said.

“Well, what the hell do _we_ do? What’s our plan, huh? Because he’s narrowing in on me.”, Emily said.

“Maybe you _should_ get your team involved. They’re working the case already. They could _help_.”, Tsia said.

“No. After seeing what happened tonight... no. It’s too risky. I can’t let them be targets too.”, she said.

“He found out where you lived. He sent you flowers. He called you, left anonymous texts, found you in public when you waited for him without sending him a message. He’s obviously watching you. He knows where you are all the time. _He probably knows you’re here right now._ He has to know you have a boyfriend at this point.”, Clyde said.

“If he does, he didn’t mention it. He knows about Aaron and all my team members. He told me but he never said anything specific about Aaron in that sense. He honestly might be clueless with that.”, Emily said.

“He could just be playing you.”, Tsia said.

“What happens if he goes after Aaron and his kid? What are you gonna do then?”, Clyde said.

“I won’t let that happen.”, Emily said.

“How can you even make sure of that?”, Tsia said.

“I don’t know.”, Emily shook her head.

“We need to find out if that tattoo really was a four leaf clover.”, Tsia said.

“I’ll get someone to try doing a sketch of it but what do we do if it is?”, Emily asked.

“We can’t plan anything until we know something for sure and a lot can change between now and then. Doyle is full of surprises. You can’t predict what he’s going to do next or when.”, Clyde said.

“I need to get home.”, Emily sighed.

“You just got here.”, Tsia said.

“I know but like you said, we can’t do anything yet and Jack is sick and I’m exhausted and what I really need the most right now... is sleep.”, Emily said.

“We’ll keep an eye on it. Just go.”, Tsia said.

“I’m sorry. I’ll check in with you tomorrow, alright? I promise.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, yeah. Get outta here.”, Clyde said.

Emily put her hand up to wave as she walked out the door and got in her car to drive home. Being cautious constantly was one more thing that was exhausting for her. 

She was tired of constantly looking over her shoulder, constantly listening for anything nearby, constantly checking her car before she got in and the halls when she got to her apartment building. Having to be aware of everything, all the time, was exhausting. 

When she got home, she walked inside and didn’t see Hotch. The tv was on but she didn’t see him. She saw their bedroom door open and pulled her gun after setting her bag down quietly. 

She slowly moved into the bedroom and checked it along with their bathroom and closet inside. When it was all clear, she felt somebody close and turned around fast, pointing the gun.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, _Emily_ . It’s _me_.”, Hotch said, putting his hands up.

She lowered her gun and put it back in its holster on her hip and sighed, looking down.

“Sorry.”, she said.

“You good?”, he asked, concerned.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just- never mind.”, she said, shaking her head. “It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like _nothing_. You just pointed a gun at me.”, he said in a flat tone.

“I’m sorry. I obviously didn’t think it was you.”, she said.

“Who did you think it _was?_ ”, he asked.

“Nobody. It doesn’t matter. I’m good.”, she said, faking a smile.

“Although, I’m not completely convinced, I’ll let it go. I know you’re not going to say anything else so... what else is new?”, he said, walking out of their room.

“What does _that_ mean?”, she asked, walking out after him and hanging up her coat by the front door on a rack.

“What do you _think_ it means?”, he said.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”, she said.

“Take a guess. _Read my face_ . You’re a profiler. You’re my girlfriend. What do you _think_ I mean? What do you _think_ I could possibly be upset about?”, he said.

“I-“, she said, getting stuck and threw up her hands.

“You don’t talk to me!”, he said.

“That’s not at all true! I talk to you all the time!”, she said.

“Not lately!”, he said.

“Yes, I do.”, she said.

“You never answer me when I ask you anything lately. It’s either something that’s private or you say there’s nothing to talk about and... you’re different... taking secret phone calls, going out to meet some friend, acting jumpy, I can’t explain it but there’s other stuff and you’re not yourself right now. And anytime I try and bring something up or talk to you about it, I fear you’re just going to shut me out.”, he said.

“Aaron, you can talk to me about _anything_ . _You know that_.”, she said.

He paused for a moment and looked off to the side. “I’ve been feeling like I need to ask this but I’m also scared to because I don’t want to hurt you by saying it. Even though I feel like I already know the answer, I need to _actually_ know. I need to know because... it’s killing me just to think about it and until you say the words, I can’t stop running this through my mind as a possibility.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said.

“Are you talking to Brayden?”, he asked quietly, finally looking back at her.

“ _What?_ ”, she said.

“Please don’t be m-“, he started.

“ _How could you even ask me that?!_ ”, she said.

“I’m sorry but-“, he said.

“You really think I would ever do that to you? To _us?_ ”, she said.

“No, of course not.”, he said.

“Then why was that even a thought that crossed your mind?”, she asked.

“I just needed to know. I didn’t know if maybe he contacted _you_ and wasn’t leaving you alone or there was something going on in any way at all. I’m sorry. I know. I told you I thought I knew the answer already but I just needed to make sure.”, he said.

“I can’t believe you...”, she said.

“You didn’t answer me...”, he said.

“Aaron, of _course not!_ I’d never speak to him again. Even if he kept calling me, I’d block his number. _If_ I even knew what his number was, which I don’t. I’d never talk to him. After everything we’ve gone through because of him and everything he’s done, no. He’s out of my life forever. I thought you trusted me...”, she said.

“I _do_.”, he said.

“You obviously don’t if you think I’m screwing around with my ex.”, she said.

“Okay, that’s not what I said.”, he told her.

“Isn’t it though?”, she said.

“No. It’s not. I didn’t want to believe it could be that but I had no idea _what else_ it could be. Did you get bad news from a doctor again you just don’t want to tell me about? That was one thing that crossed my mind but that doesn’t explain all the places you’ve been disappearing to and-“, he said.

“You don’t have _anything_ to worry about.”, she said slowly, trying to convince him.

“What about tonight, huh? You didn’t call me.”, he said.

“I don’t need to call you every second of the day I’m not with you, Aaron.”, she said.

“I know that. I’m not asking you to. But when I hear that you and Derek got shot at by a group of potential murderers... I’m gonna worry. I’m gonna wanna make sure you’re okay. Especially if you didn’t call me after to let me know that you were- oh, I don’t know, _still alive!_ That’s not unreasonable to ask.”, he said.

“You would’ve known if something happened to me.”, she said.

“Not from you apparently.”, he said.

“Well, I’m sorry. It slipped my mind.”, she said.

“I figured you were fine and I would’ve let it go since nobody told me you were hurt. But when you come home late and I called Derek earlier to check in and he said you had already left a while ago... I don’t know what to think.”, he said.

“ _I’m sorry._ But it’s fine. You’re fine. I’m fine. We’re all fine.”, she said.

“Jack wasn’t.”, he said.

“What?”, she said.

“Jack was crying because he’s sick and wanted you. He wanted you to tuck him in and put the wet washcloth on his forehead because you apparently always get the temperature of it just right for him. He wanted you to read him his favorite book when he’s sick because you do the voices and act out the stories with his stuffed animals better than me. He kept asking for you and when I couldn’t tell him when you’d be home or if you would even be back before he went to bed, that just made it worse.”, he said.

“Is he okay...?”, she asked, sounding hurt for him.

“He has a fever of 101... he threw up after he ate dinner which was only soup and I was going to ask you to pick up some ginger ale on your way home for him but you weren’t answering your phone. He didn’t like the voices I used for any lullabies _either_ . He said I didn’t sing any of them right, so he just about cried himself to sleep while I sat there in pain, watching him like that, trying to soothe him, hoping you’d be home soon. I know I’m a good dad and there are some things- _a lot of things_ that _I’m_ the best at with him. There’s lots of things that only _I_ do right for him and where he prefers me over anybody else. So, I’m not saying I need you for everything and that I can’t do anything right when it comes to him. I’m not saying I’m a bad father and I need you to take over. I know he loves me. But there are just _some things_ that he likes more when you do it. There are some things I just can’t do.”, he said.

“Is this some kind of guilt trip? Because I get it, alright. You want me to cry? Because I’m just about there now.”, she said, her voice wobbly. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I wasn’t here for him and I feel awful but... I couldn’t be... and I wish I could explain more but _you have to trust me._ ”, she said.

“Look, I _do_ trust you but you’re making me nervous right now and it’s hard to trust sometimes when I’m given nothing except things to worry about. Can you understand where I’m coming from?”, he asked.

“Being a little concerned about slightly weird behavior or me being in a strange mood... fine. I get that. But accusing me of talking to Brayden... thinking that could actually be a possibility... that’s just disrespectful.”, she said.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to cross it off.”, he said.

“Cross it off? What, do you have some list of places I could possibly be going? People I could be calling, lies I could be telling you?”, she asked.

“ _Are_ you?”, he asked.

“ _Lying to you?_ ”, she asked.

“Yeah...”, he said.

She stepped close to him until their faces were just inches apart. “Look me in the eyes and ask me if I’m lying to you. Because I’m not.”, she said.

He made a sad face like he felt bad for her and hurt. He placed his hand on her face and their foreheads together, closing their eyes as she held onto his arms.

“I’m sorry, hun.”, he whispered as he took his other hand and placed it on her side above her hip.

“Me too.”, she said, starting to cry. “There’s so much I wanna tell you.”

“You _can_ . I’m _right here_.”, he said.

“No. I can’t.”, she said, starting to sob, leaning her head on his chest and hugging him as he held her tight, rubbing her back.

“Shhhh. Shh. Shh. Shhhh. It’s okay, hun.”, he hushed her. “Let’s just go to bed, alright?”

“Yeah.”, she sniffled. 

“Did you eat?”, he asked.

“Derek and I stopped for a bite on the way back to the BAU.”, she said.

“Okay, good. Let’s go to bed.”, he said, kissing the top of her head. 

They walked into their bedroom after Emily made sure the front door was locked. She took a shower and got changed into her pajamas, meeting Hotch in bed. 

She laid down and he scooted up behind her. Before she could get too comfortable and grab his hand, she turned around to face him and scooted into his arms. 

She wrapped one arm over his shoulder while she placed her other hand on his face and threw her leg over his waist. She stroked his cheek and gave him a kiss.

“Did that shower help at all?”, he asked, rubbing her side.

“Yeah. I think it did. I’m just exhausted from everything today.”, she said. He looked all around her face and smiled. “What?”

“Nothing. You just look so cute right now with your natural hair. It makes me smile _every time._ You’re just so beautiful and so adorable. How do you manage to do that?”, he smiled, gazing in her eyes.

“I have no idea.”, she giggled, giving him a kiss. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you earlier... I’m just at a loss right now. I don’t know what’s going on with you or how to be there for you.”, he said.

“I know. And honestly, if I were you, I’d be going through every possibility too. I’d probably ask you that too. I’d be concerned too. But please don’t be. I’m okay. Just... _trust me_.”, she said.

“I can’t promise to not be concerned. I’m always worried about you, Em. Especially when you pull a gun like you did earlier. But I trust you.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said, looking from his lips to his eyes. He leaned in for one last kiss before she hugged his body and rested her head up against his chest, falling asleep.

The next morning, Emily woke up to Hotch rubbing her arm and placing gentle kisses along her neck and the top of her head. A smile slowly spread across her face and she squeezed him tight. 

“My favorite way to wake up.”, she said, still sleepy.

“My favorite way to _wake you up._ ”, he said.

“Mmmm.”, she hummed, closing her eyes again.

“We should probably go check on Jack.”, he said.

“Help me up?”, she laughed.

“Come on.”, he said, lifting her to sit up and helping her out of bed.

“Are you gonna go to work or stay home with Jack?”, she asked.

“I think I should probably go to work. I’d much rather be here with him but Jessica said she’ll come over and we’ve got a big case right now. I need to be there.”, he said, stretching. 

While his arms were still open, she walked into them and they wrapped theirs around each other. 

“I love you... No matter what happens, just know that I love you.”, she said.

“It’s things like that that you say that worry me.”, he said.

“Shut up and just say you love me too.”, she said.

“I love you too, hun.”, he said, burying his face in her neck and holding onto her tight.

She pulled back and held his face with both hands, smiling. She dropped them to his shoulders for a moment and then turned around, stepping out of their room. She walked into Jack’s quietly while Hotch went to grab a thermometer.

“Hey, sweetie.”, she whispered as she saw him start to open his eyes. 

“Emmy.”, he said.

She squatted down next to his bed and he reached his arm out for her. Knowing he wanted a hug from her, she leaned over and gave him one, pulling back after and combing his hair to the side.

“How are you feeling?”, she asked.

“Mmmm.”, he grumbled and frowned.

“Hey, buddy. Let’s take your temperature, alright?”, Hotch said, walking in. 

He placed the thermometer in Jack’s mouth and sat down by his side. Emily felt his forehead and turned to Hotch. 

“He feels warm.”, she said.

“Looks a little flushed too.”, he said.

“Did you get any sleep?”, she asked Jack.

He nodded and held out his hand for Emily to hold. She grabbed it and stroked it for the next couple minutes until they took the thermometer out and looked at it.

“It’s 100.5.”, Hotch said.

“Aw sweetie.”, she frowned, stroking his cheek. “At least it went down from yesterday.”

“ _Barely_.”, he sighed. “Looks like you gotta stay home today. I was gonna go to work but... I can stay home with you if you want. Or Aunt Jessica can come over and I’ll be home tonight.”

“Aunt Jessy.”, Jack said.

“Okay.”, Hotch nodded. “I’ll try to come home early if I can but I’ll see if she can bring some ginger ale, okay? Maybe some Gatorade?”, he said.

“Mhm.”, Jack said, pulling the sheets off of him and standing up slowly with their help. 

“Do you feel like you’re gonna get sick?”, Hotch asked.

“I have to go potty.”, Jack said.

“Okay, do you need help?”, Hotch asked.

“No.”, Jack said, walking to the bathroom. After he came out, he was shivering and they helped tuck him back in bed.

“He’s got the chills. I’m gonna go get him a wet washcloth.”, she said, getting up and going to the bathroom. She ran the washcloth under cold water to help the fever and grabbed a large bowl from the kitchen, bringing them back in his room. “Here. This is if you feel sick and don’t think you can get to the bathroom quick enough.”, she said, setting the bowl down next to his bed. She placed the washcloth on his forehead and kissed his cheek.

“Do you feel up for some breakfast?”, Hotch asked.

“Mm-mm.”, Jack said.

“What if I made you a couple pieces of toast? Very plain and simple. You need to put something in your tummy.”, Hotch said.

“Okay.”, Jack sighed.

“Alright, I’ll go make that.”, Hotch said, patting his hand and walking out to the kitchen.

After they made him his toast and stayed with him while he ate it, they gave him some medicine and let him go back to sleep. 

While Hotch jumped in the shower, Emily gave Jessica a call and let her know to head over before they left.

Once they got to work, they all gathered down by everyone’s desks. 

“Hey, how’s the little man feeling?”, Derek asked.

“Not great. He still has a fever but he was able to hold down his toast alright. I’m gonna try and go home a little early if possible.”, Hotch said.

“Aw. Poor Jack.”, Derek said.

“Yeah, but I’m sure he’ll feel better tomorrow.”, Hotch nodded.

“Is Jack sick?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, he’s got some stomach bug.”, Emily said.

“So does Henry. It’s not pretty.”, JJ said.

“JJ, where’s your ring?”, Emily asked.

“What ring?”, Rossi said.

“You didn’t tell them?!”, Emily said.

“Not yet but I guess I will _now_.”, JJ said, giving Emily a look. 

“Okay, what ring?”, Derek asked.

“My engagement ring...”, JJ said.

“What?!”, Derek said.

“Will proposed a couple nights ago.”, JJ said and smiled shyly.

“Oh my god! Congratulations!”, Derek said, giving her a hug.

“ _Oddio congratulazioni!_ ”, Rossi said, grabbing JJ’s face and kissing both cheeks, making her laugh.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“So where’s the ring?”, Emily asked.

“It’s a nice ring. I don’t want to wear it at work.”, JJ said.

“Do you have a picture?”, Rossi asked.

“Uh, no, but I’ll wear it tomorrow or sometime this week.”, JJ said.

“It’s _beautiful_.”, Emily said.

“Do you like that style?”, Hotch asked.

“Well, yes but not for me. I know lots of girls always dream of big diamond rings but a small, simple one is just fine. Don’t get me a giant one, okay?”, Emily said.

“Got it.”, Hotch said.

“You guys getting hitched soon too?”, Derek asked.

“No. We just know that down the line that’s what we both want and I’m letting you know now what my style is.”, she said, looking at Hotch next to her.

“I know your style. I just wanted to double check. Besides, you don’t know... I might have a ring already.”, he said.

“Mmmhmmmm... _suuuure_.”, she said.

“Ahh. A man who plans.”, Rossi said.

“Alright, alright.”, she laughed.

“Done!”, Reid said, calling them over to his desk. “By the way, congratulations, JJ. I was just finishing up the sketch. Some of it was kind of hard to tell but I think this is what the tattoo on the guy’s wrist was.”, he said, showing everyone.

When Emily saw the four leaf clover he drew, she finally had confirmation that it _was_ Ian Doyle behind it all. 

She quietly slipped away to the bathroom but forgot to lock the door. She pulled her phone out and called Tsia, drumming her fingers on the sink, growing impatient and quite anxious.

“Emily.”, Tsia said.

“It’s him.” Emily said.

“What?”, Tsia asked.

“It’s him. It’s Doyle. The group from last night. The tattoo on the guy’s wrist. The one I shot at. It’s the same one Doyle has. It’s the same four leaf clover.”, Emily said.

“Okay... okay, well, now we-“, Tsia started before Emily cut her off by hanging up the phone once Garcia walked in.

“Hey, are you okay? Back there-“, Garcia started.

“Jesus! I’m fine! Would everyone please stop asking me that!”, Emily said, walking past her and storming out of the bathroom.

She pulled her phone out and texted Tsia letting her know she was interrupted and would call her later. 

As she sat back down at her desk, Hotch came over and put his hand on her shoulder. “Emily-“, he started.

“ _What?!_ ”, she snapped, dropping her hands from her face, obviously irritated.

“Okay, _no_ . You don’t get to snap at me like that. _Especially_ at work.”, he whispered through his teeth, leaning over.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that. I...”, she sighed. “What do you need?”, she asked calmly. 

“Are you al-“, he started.

“Don’t.”, she said.

“Right. Got it. Sorry.”, he said, raising his eyebrows. “We’re meeting with some officials from the CWS in the SCIF right now.”, he said.

“Who?”, she asked.

“Me, you, and Morgan. Come on.”, he said.

They walked over and went into the SCIF, sitting down as she stared at the officials from the CWS. She wasn’t sure how much they knew. If they knew her or who she was, that she was on the assignment or if they even knew about that assignment.

As hard as it was for her to stay focused on what they were saying, she hung on to their every word. Especially when they got to talking about Ian Doyle. 

When one of the men looked at her, talking about him, she froze and felt like the spotlight was on her. She knew he must’ve been aware of her involvement but also knew it was all confidential. 

Hearing Ian Doyle’s name come out of Hotch’s mouth, just about made her break down right there but she kept it together. 

Having them tell Hotch and Morgan about him and connect him to Valhalla, truly built up an anxiety attack she knew she couldn’t have right there and then.

She was able to maintain her composure throughout the whole meeting until they dispersed and she almost ran out. 

When they all met back up in the conference room, they went over how they got Doyle’s picture everywhere and started brainstorming how to find out who’s on his list. 

“Okay, yeah, we have his name but how are we really gonna find out who’s on his list?”, Emily said.

“Study his life, every person he had ever come in contact with.”, Derek said.

“Okay but he’s been in prison for seven years. He still found a way to get those people’s contacts to kill them, alright? So why don’t we just figure out _how_ he got out of prison.”, she said, knowing for a fact he had people on the outside. After what had happened on her birthday at the drive-in, she knew he must’ve had help. She just needed to figure out how he got out.

“Where was he locked up?”, Derek asked.

“Russia, I think.”, she said.

“No. There weren’t any extradition papers on him.”, JJ said.

“Was Doyle on your radar when you were at Interpol?”, Hotch asked.

“Oh, uh, I mean I guess I’ve heard of him... probably. But anybody there having any contact with him... I mean... I’d have to check, ask around or something.”, she said, trying to play it cool, act like she knew nothing.

“Great, could you do that?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said, rushing out of the room.

Derek came out after her to go to the most recent victim’s house to look around it more. While they were in the car, she was completely silent but very fidgety.

“No one gotten back to you yet?”, he asked.

“They will.”, she said.

She looked in the rear view and side view mirrors, once again, being extra cautious, constantly looking over her shoulder.

“What, are we being followed, 007?”, he chuckled. She gave him a look, almost making him wish he’d never asked. “What’s up with you? And don’t say _nothing_ or that you’re fine. Alright? I know you. Something’s going on.”

“I _am_ fine and _nothing’s_ going on.”, she said.

“I don’t buy that.”, he said.

All of a sudden, her phone rang and she picked it up immediately.

“Hey. Thanks for getting back. Uh, I need some intel on Ian Doyle.”, Emily said.

“Are you alone?”, Tsia asked.

“Not at all. Anything you can spare.”, Emily said.

“Is your team in danger?”, Clyde asked.

“Absolutely. You should start with our victims, Ron Cosenza, Kerry Fagan, Byron Delaney. See if they connect to Doyle in any way.”, Emily said.

“I’ll send you a document.”, Tsia said.

“I’ll be waiting for it, thanks.”, Emily said, hanging up.

“So?”, Derek said.

“Yeah, maybe. I just... have to wait for them to get back to me.”, she said, taking a deep breath.

“Emily... you know you can tell me anything, right?”, he said.

“What?”, she said.

“I’m one of your best friends, I used to be your boyfriend, and I’m your partner. You can tell me anything. I don’t judge, I’m supportive, and I care. No matter what it is. I’m here.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said.

“You’ve just seemed so closed off lately.”, he said.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing that from a few people.”, she said.

“So you see I’m right.”, he said.

“Could you just maybe not be right now?”, she asked.

“I’m trying to be there for you, Emily. Because I love you.”, he said.

“What?”, she said, caught off guard.

“Get over yourself.”, he chuckled. “Not like that. I’ve moved on. Besides, Hotch would literally kill me. I love you as a friend, as a person, as a partner. We all do. And... you’re pushing us away and I won’t have it.”, he said.

“What makes you think I’m pushing you away?”, she asked.

“Listen, I know it’s hard for you to trust people and right now, something’s going on and you feel like you have nobody to turn to. I get it. But it’s not true. You feel all alone and when something bad happens, you shut everyone out. But you are not alone.”, he said.

“I know that... Profile me again, you’ll wish you hadn’t.”, she said with a smirk and they both laughed.

After they looked at the last victim’s home, they found some pictures of all the others. They took them back to the BAU and examined them with everyone.

“That’s in North Korea...”, Emily said.

“Do you think they took Doyle there?”, Derek asked.

“It would explain a lot. I mean, no extradition papers... this place is so off the grid. North Korea denies it even exists.”, Emily said.

“Okay, so we know that he was never married, had multiple residences, and was arrested at his Tuscan Villa.”, JJ said.

“What? How- how do we know that?”, Emily asked.

“There’s paperwork on it including a list of who was there that day and even some photos that we’re working on getting now.”, JJ said.

“Really...”, Emily said, beginning to freak out more.

“Everyone who he could be after has been warned but there’s a whole different life he led that isn’t in any file so we don’t know anything about it.”, JJ said.

“Emily, have you heard from any of your contacts? They might have some of that information.”, Hotch said.

“Not yet.”, she said.

“Call them. We need those documents now.”, he said.

“Sure.”, she said, getting up and going to her desk. She called Tsia and Clyde, running her fingers through her hair.

“They’re almost ready.”, Tsia said.

“ _Doyle was in Kwan-Li-So?_ ”, Emily said.

“Didn’t seem necessary at the time to share.”, Clyde said.

“Oh! So you didn’t think I should be aware of that? I am his main target. God... what else aren’t you telling me?”, Emily asked.

“That’s all.”, he said.

“Tsia, take me off speaker.”, Emily said.

“Really, Em?”, he said.

“ _Tsia. Now_.”, Emily said.

“Wow.”, Clyde said.

“Okay.”, Tsia said, holding the phone to her ear.

“You’re safer on your own. He just- don’t trust him, alright? Do you remember 9th Street? Corelli’s. How the door works?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, Tsia said.

“You’ll be in and out in a few minutes. And don’t let Clyde follow you.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, Tsia said.

“Be careful...”, Emily said.

“Got it.”, Tsia said, hanging up.

After she got off the phone, she went to grab the document Tsia faxed over to her and ran into Reid on her way back to everyone.

“What’s that?”, he asked.

“Only lead so far. So... you got anything from the Tuscan villa?”, she asked.

“Not much with the photographs but there’s probably some surveillance footage from the sedans that day. Gonna try and get that as soon as possible.”, he said, walking away.

Once he said that, she almost dropped to the floor. She felt her palms become sweaty and suddenly lightheaded. Everything felt like it was moving too fast and she almost sat down on the floor right where she was but took a deep breath and walked back to everyone else. 

She handed Hotch the document and looked up to find they had started taking a look at some pictures.

Soon after, Derek walked into Hotch’s office, interrupting him talking with Emily and Rossi. He let them know about a double homicide right where Emily had sent Tsia. 

She tagged along with Derek and when they got there, found her shot in the head in the hall. She tried hard not to cry but ultimately failed.

“Looks like the work of Doyle.”, Derek said.

“I need some air.”, Emily said, walking outside. 

He followed after her and put his hand on her back, making her flinch at first. “Whoa, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”, he said.

“No, you’re fine. Um, our apartment is really close and I uh... need to stop by.”, she said.

“Hotch wants us back.”, he said.

“He’ll understand. I’d like to check on Jack since we’re so close and also... I have a female emergency.”, she lied.

“What? Oh! Oh... okay. Um, sure.”, he said.

“I’ll be real quick.”, she said.

“Okay, yeah. No problem.”, he said awkwardly.

They drove to their apartment and he waited for her down in the car. She walked up and went inside, finding Jessica pouring a glass of ginger ale.

“Emily... what are you doing here?”, Jessica asked.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t startle you. I was at a crime scene only a few minutes away and had a... female emergency and figured I may as well check in on Jack while I’m here.”, Emily said.

“Oh, you’re fine. Yeah, he’s awake right now. I brought my computer in his room for him to watch cartoons on it since he didn’t want to get out of bed.”, Jessica said.

“Great, I’m just gonna pop in the bathroom and change and I’ll be right out.”, Emily said.

She walked into the bedroom and figured she may as well change her pants, so she did. After that, she went into their closet and pushed on a part of the wall that had a cut out space and removed the cover. 

She took out her safe and opened it up. She set it on a shelf and left it open before walking into the bathroom and tossing the necklace with the gimmel ring on it that Ian Doyle had given her, in the toilet.

She flushed it, knowing it wouldn’t go all the way and hoping whoever went to the apartment later to look around would find it.

After she put her boots back on, she stepped out and closed the door behind her, going in Jack’s room.

“Hey, sweetie.”, she said, walking over to his bed.

“Emmy.”, he said with a slight smile, knowing he felt too sick for a big one. “Why are you here?”

“I was working and I was close by and wanted to check on you.”, she said, stroking his hair.

“Is daddy here too?”, he asked.

“No, he’s at work. But he’ll be home later, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Do you feel any better?”, she asked.

“A little.”, he whimpered.

“That’s good.”, she said, feeling his forehead. “You don’t feel _as_ warm.” He shrugged his shoulders and frowned. “Well, I hope you feel better and I’ll see you later, okay?”

“You’re leaving?”, he asked.

“I have to go back to work but I’ll see daddy and I’ll give him a big hug, alright?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Alright...”, she said, looking at him, taking in the moment, hoping she would see him again but knowing she would be going up against Doyle, she decided to have a nice potential last moment with him. She leaned over to give him a hug and kiss. She stroked his cheek and smiled. “I love you. So much.”, she said, almost starting to cry.

“I love you too.”, he said. She gave him one more kiss and stood up, walking out.

“Hey, Jack was asking for some popsicles and I didn’t think to buy any on the way over here but there’s some left over ginger ale but if you guys could maybe stop and get some popsicles, he might want some tomorrow. Seems like he might still be sick then. I think it might be the flu.”, Jessica said.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll let Aaron know.”, Emily said. 

She realized she’d be leaving before everyone else at work so she grabbed her car keys. She texted Derek to go on ahead without her and she’d meet him back at work, saying she was taking longer than she thought. It seemed to work once she went outside and he was gone.

She got to her car and checked to make sure she had all her guns and amo and everything she needed, along with a bulletproof vest. She kept it in her trunk underneath and inside a compartment. Once she made sure everything was there, she got in and drove back to the BAU.

She saw a lot of people start gathering around in the bullpen and wanted to get to Hotch before she left without alarming him. She knew while they were speaking to everyone there, it would be the perfect time for her to slip out. But she needed to say _goodbye_ to Hotch without actually _saying_ _goodbye_ , just in case.

She spotted him in his office, standing up and ran up the stairs to get to him. She walked in his office and closed the door. Thankfully, the blinds were shut already.

“Emily. What’s going on? We’re getting ready to brief a bunch of people on the case.”, he said, slightly rushed.

“I just um... I just wanted to tell you...”, she said.

“Honey, I’m sorry but I really gotta get out there.”, he said.

“Jack wants popsicles tonight. I stopped by after the crime scene because it was so close and Jessica thinks he has the flu and he wants some popsicles and he might have to stay home tomorrow.”, she said.

“Okay... was that it?”, he asked.

She walked over to him and held his face, staring at him for a moment before kissing him and pulling him in for a hug.

“I love you so much.”, she sniffled.

“Sweetie, are you _crying?_ ”, he asked.

“No. No, I’m not crying. I just want you to know how much I love you. I’m sorry if I haven’t shown it much lately but... I love you _so much_ , okay?”, she said.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I love you too.”, he said, seeming confused. He rubbed her back and kissed the side of her head. “It’s okay.”

“Okay. You go now.”, she smiled, holding back tears as she pulled away from him.

“Okay...”, he nodded, rushing out to everyone as she stood in his office for a moment, grabbing a tissue from his desk and letting herself cry the tiniest bit. 

After she had her moment, she walked down to everyone else, stopping next to Derek. They watched Hotch speak and he looked over at Emily a few times, gazing at her, making her smile for the time being. 

When she felt the tears coming on again while looking at her team, everyone she would miss if she didn’t come back, she knew she had to go. She carefully took off her gun and badge and placed them in her desk drawer along with her phone. After she closed it, she slowly and quietly backed up and slipped out of the room without anyone noticing.

Once she got down to her car, she got in and immediately sped off, heading towards Boston to finally get Doyle.

Later on, Hotch got _just_ the team together and started going through the list that Emily had left them.

“Okay, so all these names on here of non-official cover agents have the initials L.R. It’s a cryptogram the CIA uses.”, Hotch said.

“These last four names are covers. Spies.”, Derek said.

“Wait... that’s not right. This space shouldn’t be here at the bottom.”, Garcia said, taking the paper.

“Could it be a formatting error?”, Reid asked.

“No, it doesn’t work like that. Jeez. I would’ve thought you, of all people would know that, boy genius.”, Garcia said.

“So it’s another spy whose cover is L.R.”, Hotch said.

“Lauren Reynolds is dead... Lauren Reynolds is dead...”, Reid repeated to himself quietly, under his breath.

“What’s that, Reid?”, Hotch asked.

“Lauren Reynolds is dead! Emily said that when I walked in the room when she was on a call recently. But it wasn’t like news. It was almost as if she was reminding herself... Lauren Reynolds, L.R.”, Reid said.

“If Emily’s the last name on that list... she’s the last one on Doyle’s too.”, JJ said.

Hotch looked all around the room for Emily, not quite panicking yet but just about. 

“Where is she?”, he asked.

“She was here when you were talking to everyone. She was standing right next to me and then she was just gone.”, Derek said.

Hotch immediately got out of his phone and tried calling her. When he heard her phone ringing from her desk, he got a feeling in the pit of his stomach and knew something wasn’t right. He walked over to it and slid open the drawer. He picked up her cellphone, badge, and gun.

“Why would she leave that here?”, Reid asked.

“This explains everything the past few weeks. Her weird behavior. _Everything_.”, Rossi said.

“No.”, Hotch shook his head.

“Why would she just leave? We’re her family, we could help.”, Reid said.

“Doyle is killing families. _We’re her family_.”, Rossi said.

“But we’re part of the FBI. _We could’ve helped._ ”, Reid said.

“She was trying to protect us.”, JJ said.

“Alright, everyone just stop!”, Hotch said, setting Emily’s things down on her desk.

“I know it’s hard to hear but-“, Rossi started.

“No. No. I think I’d know if my girlfriend was a spy.”, Hotch said.

“No, you wouldn’t man! None of us did. She fooled us all.”, Derek said.

“She didn’t _fool anybody_.”, Hotch said.

“She fooled _Doyle_.”, Rossi said.

“No. She’s not a- she’s- she’s just not, alright? She’s not.”, Hotch said.

“Face it, she lied to us all. She got me shot at, she put us all at risk. I don’t even know who she _is_. No family of mine would ever do that. She knew exactly what was going on the whole time and did nothing about it. She told no one. Who do-“, Derek said before Hotch cut him off by grabbing his shirt and clenching it in his fist tight.

“Don’t you talk about her like that.”, Hotch said through his teeth.

“Aaron...”, JJ said, trying to gently pull him off Derek.

“She fooled us all. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to trust her again. If we even see her ever again. She might just run away. I mean, isn’t that what she just did today?”, Derek said.

“Shut the hell up.”, Hotch said, leaning into him more but finally let JJ pull him back.

“Okay, we need to work _together_ if we’re going to get to her safely. Aaron, how do you propose we do that?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t- I don’t know.”, he said, backing up more with his hands up and walking to his office. 

When he stepped inside, he almost locked the door but decided not to incase they needed him, and paced for a minute. He looked around for something he could throw that either wouldn’t break or wouldn’t be missed if it did but the tears that were starting in his eyes, made it hard to see and he gave up. 

He went to sit on the couch and took out his phone, making sure he didn’t sound like he was crying before he dialed Jessica’s number. While it rang, he dropped his face in his hand and closed his eyes.

“Hello?”, Jessica answered.

“Hey, I know this is kind of a big thing to ask or at least not super convenient but... something’s come up with Emily and a case and-“, he started.

“Do you need me to stay the night?”, Jessica asked.

“Actually, I was hoping you could take Jack over to your place to stay the night. Dave and I are gonna come by the apartment to look for something and I don’t want to have to do that with Jack there and I don’t know when I’ll be home. But if he doesn’t feel up for it, it’s fine. We’ll probably just be looking in the bedroom and bathroom. We won’t even bother him.”, he said.

“Is Jack in danger at all?”, she asked.

“No, no. Not at all. You guys are safe. I just need to look for something at the apartment.”, he said.

“Oh. Well, he’s still feeling pretty crummy so if we don’t have to leave...”, she said.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Just... I might need you to spend the night if that’s at all possible.”, he said.

“Of course. Whatever you need. Is Emily alright?”, she asked.

“Unclear right now but we are working on it and I will keep you updated as much as I can and tell Jack that whenever I come home, I will have popsicles. Emily let me know.”, he chuckled.

“Alright, sounds good.”, she said.

“We have a blowup mattress if you want to stay in Jack’s room but there’s also the couch, so feel free to whichever.”, he said.

“Alright. Let me know what you can when you can. I hope she’s alright.”, she said.

“I will, thanks. Um, I gotta go now but give Jack a kiss for me?”, he said.

“Of course.”, she said.

“Alright, thank you so much again.”, he said.

“Yes, you’re welcome now gooo.”, she laughed.

“Alright, bye.”, he said, hanging up, going back to feeling like crying.

Not a minute later, there was a knock on his door and he looked up as it opened.

“Aaron...”, JJ said.

“I know...”, he said, dropping his head.

“None of us knew.”, she said.

“I _know_.”, he said.

“You can’t blame yourself.”, she said.

“I know that! Alright? I know that. But who _do_ I blame, huh? God, I have no idea what to do.”, he said.

“Get to your apartment, look around. There’s no way she would have left without leaving something behind.”, JJ said.

“She said _goodbye_. Dammit... I’m so stupid, how did I not see that’s what she was doing?”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“Before she left and before I walked out to talk to everyone, she came in my office. She closed the door and kept trying to tell me something but I was in a rush so she told me that Jack wanted popsicles... I should’ve known by the way she was having trouble getting the words out... I should’ve known. She- she held my face and kissed me and wrapped her arms around me.”, he said, closing his eyes, trying to remember it and starting to cry. “And she told me that she loved me. She told me that she loves me _so much_ and I could tell she was crying and I asked her if she was but she just said _no_ . I didn’t think in that moment to question it any more. She apologized for not showing how much she loves me lately but assured me that she did and all _I_ was thinking in that moment was... _I already know of all this and maybe if I just go with it and give her a kiss, she’ll feel okay about whatever is upsetting her and I can get out to everyone already_. How much of a jackass am I? How did I not see it?”, he said, shaking his head and sniffling.

“Even if you probed more, she wouldn’t have given it up.”, JJ said.

“I have no idea where she is, JJ. None. Not a clue. For all I know, she could be dead. And we wouldn’t even know it.”, he said, biting his lip, choking back more tears.

“I know. I know this is hard but right now, we have to put aside all of that. All of these feelings and just focus on finding her, alright? We just got some more info on her CIA history. Let’s take a look, see what we get from it.”, she said.

“How? How do I do that? We’re not just talking about my girlfriend here. We’re talking about the woman I want to marry. The woman I want to have kids with. The woman I almost _did_ have a kid with already. We’re supposed to have this perfect family and perfect life together and buy a big house and be happy, as ridiculous as that sounds. She’s my best friend... the woman I love. I don’t know how to just put aside all of these feelings and just focus. I don’t know how to do that.”, he said.

“Fine. Don’t then. Use this to motivate you. To keep going, to try your hardest. Do it for her.”, she said.

He slightly nodded and stood up, following her out of his office and into the conference room. 

“Look, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean all of that, it just- that really blew up in my face and it was just such a shock and-“ Derek said.

“Okay, listen, you guys. I know this is all hard for us to process and it’s fresh still but we don’t have time to waste. No, I’m not completely alright. I live with Emily, we raise my child together, I love her, _I’m not completely alright_. I’m trying to keep it together right now and I suggest you all do the same because this isn’t going to be easy to deal with. But, we have to. Just know that our main goal is getting to Emily, alright?”, Hotch said.

They all nodded and he gave JJ a half nod, letting her know to present everything she got.

“Alright, we were able to gather some of her CIA history, not all of it but we got this. This was part of her file from her last assignment there. She assumed the identity of Lauren Reynolds...”, JJ said.

“I never thought I’d see Emily with bangs...” Garcia said.

“They look good.”, Derek said.

“Focus.”, Hotch said.

“...JTF-12 special task force.”, JJ said.

“I heard of them. They were profiling terrorists.”, Rossi said.

“Wait but how is Doyle involved in all this?”, Reid asked.

“He was their last case.”, JJ said.

“So who else was a part of the task force?”, Garcia asked.

“Jeremy Wolff, Sean McAllister, Tsia Mosley, and... Clyde Easter. All except Clyde Easter have been murdered. He’s our last link that we know of. He hasn’t checked in since Tsia’s murder.”, JJ said.

“ _That’s_ Tsia. She’s the victim we found on K and 9th earlier. Emily got all weird when we saw her. God...”, Derek said.

“Sean McAllister. He called her when we were in New York for Easter. She stared at the phone and when I asked who he was, she totally spaced out. But when I got her attention again, she declined the call and acted really weird when I asked who he was again.”, Hotch said.

“Wait, so, who was undercover on Doyle?”, Reid asked.

“Emily. She made contact with them in Boston to get intel on Valhalla. She was posing as another weapons dealer.”, JJ said.

“Do you see the way she’s dressed in these pictures? This wasn’t just business.”, Derek said.

“How close did she get to Doyle as part of her cover?”, Hotch asked reluctantly.

“Uhh... they got a background of all his romantic relationships. Emily... was his type...”, JJ said.

“You’re telling us that she was sleeping with a terrorist to get a profile?!”, Derek said.

Hotch started to stand up, obviously angered by his words but JJ got to him and kept him down before he could grab Derek.

“ _Don’t_.”, Hotch said to him.

“ _Unbelievable_. I put my life in her hands everyday...”, Derek said, shaking his head.

“We don’t know everything she did.”, Hotch said, trying to stay calm.

“Just admit it. Your girlfriend used her body to build a profile for a terrorist and didn’t even care.”, Derek said. 

With that, Hotch couldn’t even hold back anymore. He shot up in his seat and grabbed Derek, pulling him out of his chair, straight up.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that. Don’t you _dare_ . Especially not when you were in a relationship with her too. You don’t get to judge me. You don’t get to judge her. She’s better than all of us. She sacrificed _everything_ today to keep us safe. You _know_ that. After everything, you’ve done, she’s been there for you. Including things you’ve done to her. Yeah. I know what happened. You’re lucky I didn’t get to lay a hand on you that night because I assure you, you would not be right here right now if I’d seen you.”, Hotch said quietly at the end.

“I didn’t _hear her_.”, Derek whispered.

“How did you not notice she wasn’t reciprocating anything? Too self-centered? You knew her in that sense. You should’ve known what it felt like when she said _no_ or wanted to keep going. If it was up to me after that night, you wouldn’t have been kept partners and you’d be transferred to another department.”, Hotch whispered back.

“Look, I’m sorry. That’s in the past, we worked it out.”, Derek said.

“You had her _crying_ . She had me come over right after and take her back to my place. I don’t care if you worked it out. She’s forgiven you, and maybe I have too. _Maybe_ . But I will _never_ forget... So you have _no right_ to talk about her like this. Absolutely _none_.”, Hotch said, releasing him and sitting back down.

“Aaron, why don’t we go back to your place and take a look around? See if she left us anything. Maybe say _hi_ to Jack. Help you feel better.”, Rossi said.

“Sounds great.”, Hotch said, eyeing Derek as he got up and walked out.

He and Rossi drove to his apartment and as much of a rush as he was in, he knew he couldn’t be that way in front of Jack. 

When they got there and went inside, he waved to Jessica in the living room. “Is he up?”, he asked.

“I think so. He’s just watching cartoons on the computer unless he fell asleep.”, she said.

“Great.”, he said, walking into Jack’s room with Rossi. “Hey, buddy.”

“ _Daddy_ .”, Jack said as excited as he could. “ _Uncle Dave_.”

“Hey, Jack. How ya feelin’ there?”, Rossi said.

“Not good.”, Jack pouted as Hotch bent down and rubbed his back.

“Guess what I got?”, Hotch said.

“Hm?”, Jack asked.

“It starts with a _P_.”, Hotch said.

“Popsicles?”, Jack asked.

“Yep, your favorite kind.”, Hotch said.

“Thank you, daddy.”, Jack faintly smiled.

“You’re so welcome. Do you want one now?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh huh.”, Jack nodded and sat up with Hotch’s help.

“Alright let me go grab one and then I have to go in my room for a few minutes before I leave.”, Hotch said.

“You’re leaving?”, Jack frowned.

“I’ll be back later. I’ll see you tonight or sometime tomorrow. Don’t worry.”, Hotch said, giving him a kiss on the head.

“Where’s Emmy?”, Jack asked.

Hotch gulped and clenched his jaw to hold back tears before he answered. “She has some work to do but she’ll see you tomorrow hopefully.”, Hotch said, not wanting to completely lie just in case she didn’t make it back by the next day.

“Okay.”, Jack sighed.

“Let me go grab your popsicle.”, Hotch said, walking out of his room and bringing Jack a popsicle back with a napkin. “Be careful. The grape and cherry ones really stain.”

“Okay. Thanks.”, Jack said.

“You’re welcome. I’ll come say _goodbye_ before I leave, alright?”, Hotch said as Jack nodded his head and started licking his popsicle.

Rossi followed him into their room and locked the door behind them.

“Okay, so... what are we looking for?”, Hotch asked.

“She would’ve left something that’s easy to find. Go through drawers, under the bed, easy hiding spots.”, Rossi said. 

He checked under the bed while Hotch checked under the mattress and in the bed. Rossi walked over to their dresser and looked in her jewelry box. He looked in the other drawers until a specific one of hers, stopped him.

“Whoa.”, Rossi said.

“What? Did you find something?”, Hotch asked, walking over.

“So is that just for special occasions or...”, Rossi chuckled, looking at the black lace corset in a drawer with her other delicates.

“Dave!”, Hotch said, closing the drawer.

“ _What?_ I’m just asking. We’re _bros_.”, Rossi said.

“We’re way too old to say _bros_.”, Hotch said.

“Psh. No we’re not.”, Rossi said and raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“She got it for me for my birthday and wore it on our anniversary, okay? Now lay off. That’s it.”, he said, quietly and fast, slightly embarrassed.

“Jeez, alright.”, Rossi said, starting to look around their room more.

“Do I need to supervise you while we check the closet?”, Hotch asked.

“Do you have anything _similar_ in your closet?”, Rossi asked.

“No.”, Hotch said.

“Then _no_. Not that you would need to even if you did.”, Rossi said, walking into it. “Oh. I got something. She left her safe open.”

“Emily doesn’t have a safe.”, Hotch said.

“Well, _someone_ left one right here with info on the Doyle case. _And_ her real passport. If she wanted to vanish, she’d take that with her. That’s a good sign.”, Rossi said, picking up the photos and papers.

“Jesus...”, Hotch said.

“Just take a breath, alright? It’s a lot to process.”, Rossi said.

“My girlfriend is a spy... that’s kind of a lot _extra_ to process.”, Hotch said.

“Okay, fair enough. _But_ _also_... she _was_ a spy. Not anymore.”, Rossi said.

“Once a spy, always a spy.”, Hotch said.

“Nothing is the same now as it was back then. Everything has changed. She was just working a profile. And now she’s not. That wasn’t really her.”, Rossi said.

“Oh my god... _Of course_. She never really loved him.”, Hotch said.

“Of course she never really loved him. He’s a sociopathic terrorist.”, Rossi said.

“No, I know but what Derek was saying. It’s just... she never loved him and I know this because... she has told me with everything that- oh my god. That’s why she’s Doyle’s main target. Last on his list. She never really loved him. She faked her own death and he found out. He found out it was all a lie. But oh my god, she-“, Hotch said.

“Care to spell it out for me?”, Rossi said.

“Emily has anxiety attacks. She always said it’s related to something from her past. Not _always_ but usually a trigger would be related to one of her previous relationships she said but other times she said it was from something back when she was at Interpol. It’s all connecting now. It’s all adding up. She had a nightmare one night, I guess it was a while ago but she kept saying _Ian_ and that he was hurting me. I asked her who Ian was when she woke up and she choked on her tea but I just thought it was because it was too hot. She swore she didn’t know anyone named Ian...”, Hotch said.

“Well, yeah... this explains a lot.”, Rossi said.

“Oh my god! On her birthday which was right after we got together, I took her to a drive-in theatre and she went to grab a soda. I remember hearing a drink spill and then her voice but I didn’t look over. Not until I noticed she was taking a while and a man walked past my car and looked back at her and-“, Hotch said and stopped. His mouth dropped open and he put his hand over it.

“ _What?_ ”, Rossi asked.

“Before the man passed my car...”, Hotch closed his eyes, “I heard him say “ _Good to see you Lauren_ .” and it... sounded like an Irish accent... it didn’t register in my mind before because I didn’t know any Lauren but then I could’ve sworn I heard her name and that’s what caught my attention. I thought I might’ve just been hearing that wrong too but I looked over at her. She was holding something and looking down at it. When I came up to her she jumped back, startled. I’d never seen her do that and when she saw it was just _me_ , she practically ran into my arms. I took her back to my place and she cried and said she couldn’t tell me what happened but that she was okay. That was the night I woke up in the middle of the night and she was downstairs on some secret phone call and had her gun with her.”, Hotch said, opening his eyes.

“Wow...”, Rossi said.

“Before we were together, she called me crying one night. She said she’d been holding this thing in for a while and it still felt so fresh and she felt like a horrible person. She said she’d done horrible things and couldn’t tell anyone, that she couldn’t talk about it. I tried to reassure her but she went on about how I didn’t know what she did and even if she could tell me, she wasn’t sure she would want me to know because she was a different person back then, it wasn’t her... But she also said she didn’t even know if she regretted it though...”, Hotch said.

“ _Wow_...” Rossi said again.

“It was right in front of me the whole time.”, Hotch said.

“No. You had almost no details of it.”, Rossi said, walking to the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”, Hotch asked.

“Well, first of all, checking out your bathroom. Very nice. Very fancy. Second, looking for anything else she could have le- jackpot. What’s that?”, he asked, pointing to the toilet.

“I think it’s best if _I_ stick my hand in there.”, Hotch said, rolling up his sleeve and pulling out a glove from his pocket, putting it on.

“Other hand. Don’t wanna risk it with that Rolex.”, Rossi said.

“Emily got me that for our one year anniversary.”, Hotch smiled and then frowned, thinking about her. 

He stuck his hand in the toilet and fished out the necklace with the gimmel ring on it and held it up.

“Clean that off before we do anything else.”, Rossi said.

“What the hell _is it?_ ”, Hotch said.

“Hold it up again.”, Rossi said, taking out his phone and getting a picture of it. “I’ll text it to Reid. See what he comes up with.”

Hotch stood up and washed it off thoroughly in the sink before washing his _hands_. He dried it off and studied it carefully. 

“Why would she try and flush this? Did she know it wouldn’t and that we would find it or was she really trying to get rid of it?”, Hotch asked.

“Ah. Well. Looks like we got an answer to _what it is._ ”, Rossi said.

“What is it?”, Hotch asked.

“A gimmel ring. The...”, Rossi stopped.

“What? Go on.”, Hotch said.

Rossi sighed and continued, “The husband and wife-to-be... wear individual bands during the... engagement and... at the wedding. The markings in the middle... Gaelic.”

“Doyle gave it to her.”, Hotch nodded and turned around.

“Aaron there’s no way they actually got married, alright? She was just playing him. You said it yourself, she never really loved him. There would’ve been more evidence or record of them being married if that happened.”, Rossi said.

“They may as well have been married! They were practically engaged! God! Is that why she’s not ready for me to propose?”, Hotch said.

“Hey, it _might be_. And you know what, if we catch this son of a bitch, that might change.”, Rossi said.

“My girlfriend that’s a spy was engaged to a terrorist. I honestly can’t see anything else ever shocking me more. I mean what else could possibly get thrown my way?”, Hotch said.

“I can’t think of anything right now which I believe is probably a good sign.”, Rossi said.

“Let’s just get back to work and find her.”, Hotch said, grabbing the gimmel ring and going back into the closet. 

He grabbed the documents and pictures and passport in it, handing them to Rossi.

“Where did that safe even come from?”, Rossi asked.

“I honestly have no idea. Oh wait... _she’s a spy_.”, Hotch said in a sarcastic tone. He started feeling all along the wall until he found a spot that sounded hollow. He pulled the covered part off and saw an empty space. “I assume it goes here.”, he said, picking it up and placing it in the wall. 

He covered it back up and walked out of their room, back to Jack to say _goodbye_. They drove back to the BAU and debated on sharing the ring with everyone else but Hotch decided against it.

Almost right away, Garcia came up to them, letting them know they got a hit on one of Clyde’s covers on a plane to Boston. After ordering to have him detained as soon as he got off, he let everyone know they were following, heading to Boston.

While on the jet, Hotch had to watch the video footage of Emily getting shot. He knew that what he felt in that moment must’ve been so similar to what Emily felt when she watched the video footage of him getting blown up in New York before.

They kept rewinding it to look at different angles but after a few times, Hotch couldn’t take it anymore and slammed the computer shut. 

“Hotch, she was wearing a vest.”, Reid said.

“I know that. She’s smart. But it’s still not easy watching her get shot.”, Hotch said.

“We’ll find her.” JJ said, rubbing his arm.

He nodded and continued his worrying, knowing that’s all he could do for the time being.

Once they landed and got to the Boston P.D. station, they called in to grab Fahey, hoping to get some answers about Doyle. While they brought him in, Hotch went to go question Clyde.

He walked into the interrogation room where they were holding Clyde and read off his recommendation he wrote for Emily when she applied to join the BAU. 

“You knew just what to say for us to take her just like you did with Doyle.”, Hotch said.

“Well, it worked didn’t it? I don’t see the problem really.”, Clyde said.

“Where is she?”, Hotch asked, trying not to get teary eyed but he could tell they were probably a bit watery.

“Who? Emily?”, Clyde asked.

“Yes. Who else?”, Hotch said.

“I don’t know but being a bit more specific might help you get more answers unless... you’re afraid you might slip up and give something away by calling her Emily and not Agent Prentiss... Hotchner. You’re Aaron. You’re the boyfriend... Hm. Not bad but I don’t quite see it.”, Clyde said.

“What?”, Hotch asked.

“She goes on and on about you but...”, Clyde said and slightly shrugged his shoulders.

“If _anything_ happens to her, I _will_ destroy you. _You can count on that._ ”, Hotch said.

“I’m unimpressed.”, Clyde said.

“I was going to say if you cooperate with us, maybe we can make a deal but... we’ll get him with or without you.”, Hotch said, walking out.

Back at the station he caught up with everyone else and what they’d gotten out of Fahey. They told him what Emily did to his ear, adding on to even more shock he didn’t think he could have. 

After Fahey was shot, they went through more information, revealing that Jeremy had sold the list to Doyle. Questioning if Tsia was disloyal as well, Hotch decided to go back to Clyde and try to find out and get more answers.

“I get that you aren’t impressed by me and I get that we’re very different and right now, you seem to have the upper hand with your knowledge but... I know you care about her and yes, I care about her too so why won’t you just help her? Help us help her.”, Hotch said.

“How would you suppose I do that?”, Clyde asked.

“I need the original profile when Doyle was a terrorist. If we combine that with our profile we have of him now as a serial killer...”, Hotch said.

“Agent Hotchn- or Aaron rather-“, Clyde said.

“Agent Hotchner.”, Hotch said, corrected him with a stern tone and look.

“ _Agent Hotchner_... you took an oath to protect the laws of your country, correct?”, Clyde said.

“Yes.”, Hotch said.

“I took an oath to protect the secrets of mine. Do you understand what you’re asking me to do?”, Clyde said.

“Yes and I know-“, Hotch said.

“I’ll do it. If you join me. There’s no catching that man. He’ll escape your prison just as easily as he did in North Korea. To stop him, to end him, you have to put a bullet in his head? Can you do that? _Can you break your oath, Agent Hotchner?_ ”, Clyde asked.

“No.”, Hotch said, tearing up again, not being able to remember a time where he felt so helpless and not in control, other than when he was attacked by Foyet. At least that time, someone else’s life wasn’t at stake or in immediate danger, just his. But this time was different, it was someone else. It was _Emily_. 

“Can you _take_ one? Can you _swear_ that your team will save her? That you’ll do _everything_ in your power to save her?”, Clyde asked.

“I’d give my _life_ for her.”, Hotch said.

“Alright... I’ll do it.”, Clyde said.

They went to the station and gathered with everyone again, going over Ian Doyle’s profile with Clyde.

“Okay but that doesn’t explain why he chose to kill a child.”, JJ said.

“Is it possible he had a child of his own that died?”, Reid asked.

“No, I would have known about that.”, Clyde said.

“Is it possible that Emily did?”, Derek asked and Hotch looked over at him, feeling like he was about to throw him up against a wall.

“No. If she did, why wouldn’t she have told me?”, Clyde said.

“Maybe she was too ashamed.”, Derek said.

“She didn’t have a kid, alright?”, Hotch said, trying to keep his cool. “Just check all his employees and any kids. See if there’s a possible match. He might’ve had one and nobody knew.”

After going through a bunch of names, they found one with a kid, Declan, who had been adopted by Doyle’s housekeeper. They pulled up their files and found pictures of them being shot, disturbing everyone.

“Oh my god, oh no no no.”, Garcia said.

“Garcia, I know it’s hard but I need you to focus. _Where is this?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“It looks like a warehouse. Large , large warehouse. Large enough to store weapons and supplies and all his men.”, she said, typing away on her computer.

“Do you have an address?”, he asked.

“1518 Adams Street.”, she said.

“Let’s go.”, he said, getting Derek, Clyde, and Rossi while Spencer hung back with everyone else. 

“Oh god...”, Garcia said.

“Look at the fingernails.”, Reid said, pointing at the pictures.

“It’s Emily...”, JJ said.

Right before they left, Hotch gave instructions to everyone.

“Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building. Rescuing her is our primary objective. We have to go in as quietly as possible. We take down who we need to to get to her. Any questions?”, Hotch said. “No? Alright. Let’s go.”

As they all pulled up to the warehouse with SWAT and other cops, they fired with silencers at the armed men working for Doyle there. When Hotch could hear Emily’s voice he just about ran towards her but Clyde held him back. He signaled he was going to go around so they surprise him from two different angles and hopefully one of them get him.

Hotch approached an entrance to the space Doyle was in with Emily. Hotch had everyone stand back as he pointed his gun at him and stood still, looking at Emily. He almost felt like he could breathe knowing she was still alive but still not quite yet, seeing her sitting on the ground in handcuffs with Doyle’s gun pointed at her head. 

Hotch could almost see the fire in her eyes when she stared at Doyle and knew she wasn’t afraid. It brought some comfort to him, knowing that. He knew she was brave. 

“I told you he’s alive. I’m holding the gun in the pictures but I never killed him.”, Emily said.

“Then tell me where he is.”, Doyle said, cocking his gun back. 

“I faked his death not just to protect him from the North Koreans but from you too.”, she said.

“Where is he?!”, Doyle shouted and kicked, knocking her to the ground.

“Been a while, huh?”, Clyde said, coming in from one entrance with his gun drawn.

Ian turned around to face him and pointed his gun at him while Hotch quickly ran in through the other entrance he was at. As Doyle began to turn towards Hotch, he didn’t even hesitate. He shot him four times, making sure he went down.

Hotch ran over to him and kicked the gun out of Doyle’s hand on the ground and felt for a pulse. “He’s gone.”, Hotch said.

“Nice work, Agent Hotchner.”, Clyde said, giving him a half nod and handing him the keys to the handcuffs for Emily.

“Em, honey.”, Hotch said, rushing over to her on the ground. He undid the handcuffs, taking them off of her. “Are you okay?”, he asked, looking at the cut on her face. “Where are you hurt?”

“Just got kicked around a lot, thrown around a bit. I think I’m fine though.”, she barely got out. He tried helping her up but she practically fell down, wincing in pain. “Ahh! Nope. That’s not- nope.” 

He picked her up as a gurney was being wheeled over and laid her down on it. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight and looked up at him.

“I’m right here, hun.”, he said.

“We’ve got it from here.”, one of the medics said.

“I don’t care. I’m riding with you.”, Hotch said.

“We only have so much room in the ambulance-“, the medic said.

“I don’t care! I’m riding with you! I’m not leaving her side. What’s wrong with you?”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, you can just meet me at the hospital.”, she said.

“No, babe, I’m coming with you. I’m not leaving your side again.”, he said, walking alongside them as they started wheeling her out.

Once they got in the ambulance, they gave her some meds for the pain which pretty much sedated her. But Hotch held onto her hand the whole way to the hospital until they took her back to trauma to get checked out and decided to take her in for surgery. 

While Hotch sat in the waiting area, everyone else eventually arrived and joined him. He made a phone call to Jessica, updating her and letting her know that since it was so late and Jack was asleep he would stay the night in the hospital and fly back to D.C. in the morning. 

Derek came up to him and apologized and made sure they were good for the time being. After another few hours, everyone got tired until the doctor came out. Asking if there was any immediate family, Hotch took the place of it and followed the doctor to her room.

“She’s awake?”, Hotch asked. 

“Yeah, vitals are great, she’s sitting up with a smile on her face. Surgery went perfectly.”, the doctor said.

“How long is she going to have to stay here before she can come home?”, Hotch asked.

“Little less than a week. We’ll have to check her incisions but it was laparoscopic. Very minimally invasive so they’re pretty small and the scars may even fade away over time.”, the doctor said.

“What exactly happened? Or rather, what did you have to do in surgery? Does she still have her whole liver? Both kidneys still functioning? I mean-“, Hotch said.

“Nothing was removed. There was just some internal bleeding but it’s all taken care of now and she should be feeling a lot better in a few days.”, the doctor said.

“Great. Thank you. Thank you so much.”, Hotch said, shaking their hand as they walked off and he stepped into Emily’s hospital room.

“I knew you’d find me.”, she giggled, eyes barely open.

“I’ll always find you. If you’re ever lost, I’ve got you.”, he said, stopping by her side. 

She grabbed his hand while he took the other one and stroked her hair, giving her a kiss on top of her head.

“I knew you would.”, she said.

“Do you have any idea how much you scared me though? How worried I was?”, he said.

“Sit.”, she said, scooting over just enough for him to sit up on the bed next to her. He got on and put his arm around her.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. God, you have no idea...”, he sighed. 

She started giggling and put her hand on his face, kissing his cheeks. 

“You’re so cute.”, she giggled.

“I think those pain meds and anesthesia are still hitting a little hard, huh?”, he said.

“Mmmmmm... maybe just a little but it’s good. Morphine, it just-“, she said.

“Yeah. I know.”, he chuckled. “So you were a spy. That was the big secret. _Ian Doyle_.”

“Yeah... do you hate me now? Do you think I’m a horrible person?”, she asked, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Emily, of course not. I don’t think any different of you. At all. You’re the same person I fell in love with. Nothing has changed. That’s your past. You were doing your job.”, he said.

“Not all the time.”, she said.

“You didn’t love him, did you?”, he asked.

“No. Not at all. Ever. It was all for the profile and I’m ashamed that’s how I got it but... I did it.”, she said.

“It’s okay. I don’t judge you. I love you. And he’s dead now. Both of our monsters... are dead.”, he said.

“That is true.”, she said.

“Anything else you wanna tell me though? Any other surprises or can we finally have a normal life?”, he chuckled.

“Let’s have a baby.”, she said.

“ _What?_ ”, he said, shocked.

“ _Let’s have a baby_.”, she said.

“Em, you’re still kind of high on morphine right now. I don’t think you-“, he said.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a little bit now. This isn’t the morphine talking. Well, maybe the morphine has given me the _courage to say it._ But I’ve had the thought and feeling and idea of this for a while now.”, she said.

“How long?”, he asked, already feeling himself getting excited.

“A couple weeks before our anniversary. I didn’t know how to tell you that I was ready and I kept freaking. But I was _going_ to in New York at the _amazing_ hotel, having an _amazing_ time, on an _amazing_ trip. It felt like the perfect time but then I got a call from Sean that first night and all this started and I just knew it would blow up but now... it’s all done. Obviously I need a little bit of time to heal from surgery and maybe take a few months or so but yeah. Let’s do it. If anything, I’m even more confident with my decision to do this now than I was before. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s that life is too short. I almost lost you guys or... you almost lost _me_ . I want our family. I want a baby and I want _you_ and I don’t want to wait any longer because at this point, I don’t know what I’m even waiting for.”, she said.

“You really wanna have a baby?”, he asked, tearing up.

“Mhm.”, she nodded and smiled, also feeling tears starting in her eyes. “I hate to say it and as much as I don’t want to, I think we need to wait a little, but only a few months till things are stable again and I’m all healed and everything but yes. I wanna have a baby.”

“You, Emily Prentiss, make me the happiest man ever.”, he said.

“You make me better all together, Aaron Hotchner.”, she said.

“I love you so much. Thank you for not dying.”, he said.

“I love you too. Thanks for not letting me.”, she laughed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	88. Christmas Eve

**Chapter 88**

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Months later, in December, everything had gone back to normal for Emily and Hotch. There was no more Ian Doyle, no more George Foyet, no more secrets or anything putting their lives and relationship at risk.

Although Ian Doyle was dead and Emily had been having fewer anxiety attacks, there would be the occasional nightmare. Sometimes she needed to take a Xanax but overall, she felt more at ease. She started going to therapy a couple times a week shortly after it all happened and was making progress. But by December, she had limited it to once a week. 

Hotch was doing the best he could with being there for her and typically, she would open up to him and let him help her. However, there were times when she just couldn’t, which was frustrating for him but he understood and still supported her. 

They’d gone out with Jack to see Haley a few times and decided to have Jack for Christmas and Haley to have him for it the next year. 

With Christmas Eve approaching, they’d gotten just about all their presents for everyone but still had a few left. Emily found it perfect that Hotch was leaving for Chicago on the 23rd for a work conference. She knew she’d be able to grab his last gift without him being there but was still upset that he was missing the day before Christmas Eve. 

He set an alarm for 4:00 in the morning, waking him up. He immediately turned it off while Emily stayed on her side, asleep. He rolled over and kissed her shoulder softly, hoping he wouldn’t wake her up. 

He got dressed and ready as quietly as possible, trying to let her sleep for a bit before he had to wake her up. He packed the last of his things for one night at a hotel and walked back over to the bed. 

He went around to her side and squatted down. He stroked her hair and whispered, waking her up softly.

“Em.”, he whispered.

“Mmmm.", she groaned, not opening her eyes yet.

“I’m leaving now.”, he said.

“Hmm?”, she said, raising her eyebrows, trying to open her eyes.

“I’m leaving now.”, he repeated.

“Ohh.”, she frowned.

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish it didn’t have to be today.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she sighed, closing her eyes again, too tired to keep them open. “We have Jack for Christmas this year and you’re going out of town. Literally... like... why couldn’t you just say _no?_ ”

“They need me. But I promise, I will be back tomorrow morning and we’ll have the whole day, okay? We’ll make that gingerbread house kit that we got him and cookies and some eggnog. You know my recipe is the best.”, he said.

“They don’t need you. It’s not a case.”, she said.

“I have to give a talk. _You’ve_ done one. You understand.”, he said.

“Yeah but not on _Christmas Eve_.”, she said.

“It’s not. It’s later today, which is why I have to go now.”, he said.

“Well then, why can’t you fly back tonight afterwards instead of waiting till the next morning? Aren’t you taking the jet? It’s not like you have to catch a plane at a certain time or have a ticket.”, she said.

“I’m meeting an old colleague. It’d be nice to have a little time to catch up and... it’s _Chicago_. One of my favorite cities. I don’t get to go there everyday.”, he said.

“But it’s one of Jack’s first Christmas’ he’ll probably remember.”, she said.

“I will be back tomorrow morning. I might even be back before he wakes up. It’ll be Christmas Eve when I’m back. I’m not missing Christmas and I won’t miss Christmas Eve night. We _will_ set out the presents from Santa and we _will_ stuff the stockings. Don’t worry. Okay?”, he said.

“Promise?”, she said.

“I _promise_.”, he said.

She stuck her hand out and started feeling around for his face until she felt it and patted all around.

“Just open your eyes.”, he laughed.

“No. I’m too tired.”, she said, finally pulling his face to hers and giving him a kiss.

“I love you, hun.”, he said.

“Yeah, yeah. Go have fun. Take some pictures for us. Maybe get Jack a snow globe. He loves those, especially from some of the places we travel.”, she said.

“Alright, I will.”, he said, kissing her forehead.

“I love you too by the way.”, she said.

“Get some more rest. Oh, and don’t forget to grab Jack’s lava lamp. The store called and said they finally have it in stock.”, he said.

“Wha- how am I supposed to grab that if he has to come with me? I don’t want him to see his Christmas gift.”, she asked.

“Distract him with a piece of candy and have them wrap it or put it in a bag when you grab it. They do that around the holidays. Or just take Sean with you. Or have him stay here with Sean.”, he said.

“Jack’s gonna want to go out. I told him he could come help me with something I needed to get for somebody else.”, she said.

“Alright, then have Sean go with you. Listen, I really gotta go but I love you. I’ll text you when we land.”, he said.

“ _Okay_.”, she yawned. “Have a safe flight.”

“Thanks.”, he said, kissing her forehead again before standing up. “Sleep well.”

“Mmm.”, she said as he walked out and left.

She fell back asleep quite easily and woke up early to Jack poking her. Without rolling over, she reached one arm behind her and he grabbed her hand, pulling on it.

“Come on, Emmy.”, he said.

“Well, good morning.”, she said, managing to get her eyes open.

“I’m hungry.”, he said.

“Yeah, me too. What do you want?”, she asked.

“Uncle Sean’s making biscuits and... um...”, he said, trying to think.

“Gravy?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he said.

She sniffed around as she sat up and smiled. “Oooo I smell it.”, she said, picking him up and getting out of bed. They walked out to the kitchen and she set Jack down. 

“Hey, how’d you sleep?”, she asked Sean who was cooking breakfast.

“Pretty well. Your couch is surprisingly comfortable.”, he said.

“I’m sorry we don’t have a guest bed or anything. I promise when we get a _house_ , whenever that is, we’ll make sure there’s a guest bedroom.”, she said.

“Oh wow, you guys are already talking about houses?”, he asked.

“Not exactly. Not in so much detail. We just know there will _be_ one.”, she said.

“Before or after you _legally_ become my sister in law?”, he asked.

“ _Sean_... we’ve talked about this.”, she said.

“Hey, I’ve always wanted a sister, alright? I’m just excited. I can’t wait.”, he said.

“Well. You’ll have to just a little more.”, she said.

“ _And_ to be an uncle again. Maybe have a niece? I’d love to have one of each.”, he said.

“Have you ever thought of having kids, yourself?”, she asked.

“I’ve thought about it, yeah. I just haven’t met anyone I’ve been too crazy about yet.”, he said.

“Aren’t you with Kayla?”, she asked.

“Yeah... kinda. I mean, she’s great but I wouldn’t say that we’re exclusive yet. We’ve been on a few dates. We’re going out again next week.”, he said.

“And?”, she said.

“She has a kid already. I just don’t know how much I can really handle with that.”, he said.

“Aaron already had Jack when _we_ got together and _now_ look at us.”, she said.

“Yeah, but you’re different. You and Aaron _know_ you want kids and to get married and all that. I’m still not sure.”, he said.

“Just give it a little more time. You might change your mind. I mean I thought I was way in over my head when I found out Aaron had a kid. It honestly freaked me out but I didn’t think we’d ever be together when I found out. But after being with him and having Jack in my life, I am _so glad_ that I do. And if it weren’t for Jack, I don’t know if I’d be able to imagine having kids with Aaron.”, she said.

“ _Kids?_ As in more than _one?_ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know. Possibly. It all depends.”, she said.

“Well, when am I getting that niece or nephew from you?”, he asked.

“Be patient.”, she said.

“You got your IUD out a few months ago, right? I mean-“, he started.

“Sean! How... how do you know that?”, she asked.

“Because Aaron told me you guys were gonna try soon.”, he said.

“Still! But... we kind of have. Not exactly... it’s complicated.”, she sighed. “We’ve just been trying to get our lives back to normal since everything happened. And... we decided that if it happens by the end of the year, then great and if not, we’ll start trying at the beginning of next year which is only a month away so...”, she smiled shy.

“Seriously?! So... no luck yet?”, he said.

“No, but that’s fine. I mean after getting the IUD out, it’s a lot to adjust to, and for everything to... regulate again.”, she said.

“I had a girlfriend get one out before. She got a new one not too soon after but her cycle was normal by this point. It didn’t take too long.”, he said.

“You’re super comfortable with this topic.”, she laughed.

“I’m not immature. I don’t get uncomfortable about it. _And_ I’m actually kinda smart. I’m educated on a lot and uh... can you keep a secret?”, he asked.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”, she said.

“I got into nursing school.”, he said.

“ _What?!_ When did you apply?!”, she asked.

“Don’t tell Aaron. Not until I start at least. I wanna prove I can actually do something with my life that’s useful. I’ve been taking some classes at a community college the past few years and finally applied to nursing school and- I just need him to believe in me but I need to _show_ him he can. I need to show him I’m doing it well, so don’t tell him until I’ve started and I have something to show for it.”, he said.

“I’m so proud of you, Sean.”, she said, smiling big, going in for a hug.

“Thank you. It feels good.”, he said.

“I bet.”, she said.

“Damn... We’re all growing up.”, he said.

“ _You_ are. Not much else has changed for _us_.”, she said.

“That’s not true. You guys are gonna have a baby soon.”, he said.

“We aren’t _yet_.”, she said. 

Suddenly she thought about it more. Thinking about what he’d said about how everything should be regulated by then. She thought about if she was having any symptoms. Getting lost in all of that, Sean noticed.

“Are you _sure...?_ ”, Sean asked.

She looked back up at him and paused before speaking. 

“Can you watch Jack for a few minutes?”, she asked.

“Um, yeah, sure... Why?”, he asked.

“I just need to go do something. It’ll only take me a few minutes.”, she said, going to the bedroom. 

She quickly got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, grabbing her phone and credit card. She walked out and over to Jack watching cartoons.

“Hey, sweetie. I’m gonna run out real quick but I’ll be right back, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said, patting his shoulder and walking to the door. She grabbed her keys and turned back to Sean. “I’ll be right back.”

“Care to clue me in on what’s going on?”, Sean asked.

“I won’t be long.”, she said, racing out the door and down the stairs. 

She got in the car and drove to the drugstore down the street. When she walked in, she went straight for what she knew she needed. Once she paid, she practically ran out the door and drove home. 

When she got back to the apartment she calmly walked by the table where Sean and Jack were eating breakfast.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick and I’ll be right out.”, she said, going into her bedroom and closing the door, locking the bathroom one behind her. She stepped over to the counter and pulled out the box of pregnancy tests she had just bought. When she grabbed one and unwrapped it, she noticed how much her hands were shaking. 

After making sure she got the cap on and set it down on the counter when she was done, she washed her hands and set a timer for three minutes. 

While she waited, freaking out, she tried to think of all the ways she would tell Hotch if it was positive. She knew she’d want to call him right away but also knew she should probably wait until he was back home.

Pacing from one wall to the other, she almost forgot about the time until it went off, startling her. She slowly walked over to the test and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. 

She finally flipped it over and brought her hand to her mouth when she saw the two lines for _pregnant_ . Feeling tears in her eyes, and a huge smile spreading across her face, she couldn’t help but start letting _more_ tears out. 

She couldn’t believe it had happened so soon, that they finally had what they wanted, that they were _finally_ getting another chance. Another chance at the _right_ time.

After taking a moment to freak out and stop herself from calling Hotch to tell him, she collected herself. She waited a couple minutes before walking back out to Sean and Jack. 

Jack was back on the couch, watching tv, while Sean was doing the dishes.

“Hey, sorry about that.”, Emily said, trying to stop herself from grinning when she walked over to Sean.

“That’s alright. I left some food for you on the table but if you’re not hungry, I can put it in the fridge and heat it up later.”, he said.

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll eat in just a minute. Thanks.”, she said.

“Okay, what’s that look?”, he said, setting a dish towel down and turning to her.

“What look?”, she asked.

“Emily. I know you too well by now. Spit it out.”, he said.

She looked over to Jack and sighed before taking Sean’s hand and walking into her bedroom quickly. They kept the door open to be able to hear Jack if they needed.

Sean followed her into the bathroom and she picked up the test, showing him. His eyes got wide and his jaw dropped. 

“I’m gonna get another niece or nephew?!”, he whispered.

“You said that thing and I just realized... I just knew... so I just took this one test right now and I don’t know how far along I am. I really don’t. And I just wanna get checked out as soon as possible. I know it’s crazy and it all happened really fast and I’ve barely had time to process it all but-“, she said.

“There’s gonna be another little Hotchner baby!”, he said, picking her up and spinning her around. He set her back down and got quieter. “Or Prentiss... I’m sorry, I don’t know if you guys talked about that. I shouldn’t just assume it would be the father’s last name.”

“No, I uh- I think we’d probably go with Hotchner. I mean I know that _I’ll_ probably change my last name whenever we get married. I didn’t know if I wanted to for a while but if my kid’s last name is going to be _Hotchner_ and so is everyone else’s, then... yeah. Besides, I kinda like the sound of it.”, she said.

“ _Emily Hotchner_. I like that.”, Sean said.

“Me too.”, she said.

“Ahhh! I’m so happy for you! Did you call him?”, he asked.

“What? _No_. Of course not. I can’t tell him over the phone especially when he’s not even in the same state- no. I need to wait until he’s home. He’ll be back tomorrow morning.”, she said.

“How are you gonna do it?”, he asked.

“I have no idea. _I just found out_ . I have had _no time_ to process all of this.”, she said.

“You need to call your gynecologist and get an appointment as soon as possible. I mean, you don’t know how far along you are. You need to verify this and- you just gotta call them.”, he said.

“Okay. Yeah. You’re right.”, she said.

She got out her phone and called her gynecologist. To her surprise, there was a cancellation and they had an appointment in a couple hours so she took it. Not knowing how far along she was, she knew she needed to get in as soon as possible. She just didn’t realize she’d be able to only a day or two before the holiday. 

“Well that was easy.”, he said.

“Oh my god.”, she said, going over to the bed and sitting on the edge.

“What? Are you okay?”, he asked, concerned, following her.

“Yeah, it’s just hitting me a little more right now.”, she said, leaning over her knees and resting her arms on them.

“Hey, I know I’m a guy so obviously I can’t say I know what it feels like but it’s a weird feeling. I know it must be weird, all these different things happening to your body and you’ve never experienced it before so it’s all new and-“, he said.

“No... I have.”, she said.

“Oh... I’m sorry, I didn’t-“, he said.

“Aaron and I went through this a while ago.”, she said.

“Oh...”, he said.

“I’m guessing he never told you that.”, she said, looking down.

“No... he didn’t.”, he said.

“It’s not that we didn’t want it... we _did_ . In fact, he _really_ did. He was willing to do _anything_ to have that baby. But I just wasn’t ready. I regretted it for a while after, but now I realize it was for the best. I know I made the right decision and Aaron supported me. And the fact that he said he’d support me no matter what I decided to do even though he wanted-“, she sighed. “... That’s how I knew he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He constantly supports me with everything in life. He’s always there for me no matter what, even if it’s not what he wants. He respects me. He’s just so good.”, she said, playing with her necklace he got her for their anniversary.

“Emily... I’m really sorry. I had no idea.”, he said.

“How _would_ you? Not many people _do_ know.”, she said.

“I know...”, he said, holding her hand.

“I didn’t notice any symptoms this time. It’s strange. Last time I had just about all of them.”, she laughed.

“Really?”, he said.

“Yeah, last time, I was constantly getting sick, snapping at people one minute and crying the next. Weird cravings when I _was_ hungry. Morning sickness was not _just_ in the mornings. Other stuff where my body just felt off. I knew something was going on but somehow neither of us put the pieces together until JJ did. She was pregnant at the time too actually.”, she laughed.

“But you’re not having any symptoms _this_ time?”, he asked.

“I’ve been a little emotional but I haven’t been like snapping at people. Just a little sensitive and maybe a couple other things but not nearly as much.”, she said.

“No eggnog for _you_.”, he laughed.

“No, I guess _not_ . That _sucks!_ Aaron makes the best eggnog.”, she said.

“There’s always next year.”, he said.

“Yeah. Wow... this is so strange... I mean, it doesn’t even feel real.”, she said.

“Maybe it will when you see that ultrasound.”, he said.

“I wish Aaron was here to go with me.”, she said.

“Do you want me to? I don’t mind.”, he said.

“No. It’s okay, thank you. I wouldn’t want Jack to have to go.”, she said.

“JJ and Will said they can watch him if you needed.”, he said.

“No, really. It’s alright. You know what? This’ll be the perfect Christmas present for Aaron. I can put an ultrasound in an envelope or something or just give it to him or- I don’t know but he’s gonna be so happy.”, she said.

“I’d say it’ll probably be the best Christmas gift he ever gets.”, he laughed.

“Oh god, he’s not gonna let me go out in the field now.”, she said.

“That’s a _good_ thing.”, he said.

“Yeah. Ugh, I just wanna tell him. The _one_ time we aren’t with each other. We’re literally together 24/7. But the _one_ time he isn’t here...”, she said.

“It’s _alright_. He’ll be here tomorrow and you can surprise him on Christmas morning. He’ll love that. It’s a cute way to tell him.”, he said.

She smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”, she said, squeezing his hand.

“Always. Okay, can I just call you my sister in law already?”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, alright, _fine_.”, she laughed, giving him a hug.

“I’m really happy for you guys.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said, tearing up.

When she pulled back, he saw her tears and walked to the bathroom. He grabbed a few pieces of toilet paper and brought them over to her to use as tissues.

“Here.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she said, drying her tears.

A couple hours later, Emily drove to her appointment, getting there early, making her anxious as she waited. Twenty minutes later, they finally called her back. She went back to a room with a nurse who took all her information before the doctor came in.

“Emily. How are you?”, the doctor asked.

“Um... I’m alright, I guess.”, Emily nervously laughed.

“What brings you in today?”, the doctor asked.

“Uh, well, I um- I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive and I just want to get checked out as soon as possible.”, Emily said.

“Oh wow. Alright. Let’s take a look.”, the doctor said, grabbing the gel. “You just recently got out your IUD, right?”

“Back in mid to late September, yeah. That’s why I didn’t know if I should take a test or not. My period was kind of irregular and I wasn’t tracking it but I guess it should’ve regulated by now and- god, what if I’m not actually pregnant and-“, Emily said.

“You’re right, it should have regulated by now. This is gonna be a little cold.”, the doctor said, squirting the gel on. “... And it doesn’t matter if you just got it out or not. You can still be extremely fertile very soon after you have it out. Also... false positives are very rare.”, she said, moving around the ultrasound transducer while looking at the screen.

“We weren’t even exactly trying. I mean, we talked about it and we agreed that if it happened, we’d be happy about it. But if not, then we would start trying at the new year. Because this one has been insane.”, Emily said.

“So you guys would be happy about this...”, the doctor said.

“Extremely.”, Emily said.

“Where _is_ Aaron?”, the doctor asked.

“He’s in Chicago right now for work but he says he’ll be back tomorrow.”, Emily said.

“I bet you’re pretty anxious for him to get back.”, the doctor said.

“Just a little.”, Emily laughed.

“Ah. Here we are. You see that?”, the doctor said, turning the screen to Emily and pointing at it. “That’s your baby.”

“ _Really?_ ”, Emily said, tearing up.

“Mhm.”, the doctor smiled. “That’s the head right there.”, she pointed. “And there are the little arms and legs.”, she pointed around. “And... healthy heartbeat.”

“Oh my god.”, Emily said.

“And it looooks like...yooouu are... about... 10 weeks.”, the doctor said.

“ _10 weeks?_ How did I not know for so long?”, Emily said.

“It’s fairly common. Especially with people just coming off forms birth control because like you said... it gets confusing with your body trying to regulate that again and keeping track of all of it. But yes, my dear, you are _10 weeks pregnant._ Did you want any pictures?”, the doctor asked.

“Definitely.”, Emily said as the doctor clicked on the keyboard and collected images. 

She gave Emily a cloth to wipe the gel off and sat up. She waited until the doctor walked back over with the pictures and handed them to her.

“Go ahead and schedule another appointment at the front for in four weeks. I’ll see you again then.”, the doctor said.

“I know this is all really new but um... when do you find out the sex of the baby?”, Emily asked.

“Well it’s possible to tell as early as 14 weeks but typically we schedule those for 18-20 weeks. _But_ it’s very common to be able to tell by 16 also.”, the doctor said.

“So would you be able to tell me in four weeks?”, Emily asked.

“We can take a look and see but I don’t tend to say for sure at that point because it’s not always as accurate of a reading.”, the doctor said.

“Right.”, Emily nodded. “Thank you. Really. I know how busy you were today and I just... really needed to know.”

“Of course. Also you should get started with some prenatal vitamins today even. And you need to make sure you eat more, no alcohol, no raw fish, try to limit yourself to only one cup of coffee a day but it’s definitely better if it’s less. Stay hydrated definitely. Electrolytes are important.”, the doctor said.

“What about for nausea? Because I haven’t had any so far but last time it was awful. It was like all day.”, Emily said.

“Last time?”, the doctor said.

“We uh... didn’t keep it last time...”, Emily lowered her head.

“Oh. I’m sorry... Um, nausea... for some people, nothing works. I know for me and quite a few other people, ginger tea with honey and lemon, worked great. Just some natural oils, not much else to really do about that one unfortunately.”, the doctor said.

“What about with my work? What are my limitations?”, she asked.

“Well, physical exercise is important. Yoga is really good actually. I wouldn’t overdue it with your job though. Jogging is fine for now but don’t put yourself in a dangerous position. Try and feel your limits.”, the doctor said.

“Okay.”, Emily said.

“Alright, good. I’m sorry but I have to run. Congratulations though.”, the doctor smiled. “I’ll see you in four weeks?”

“Yeah.”, Emily said.

“Great. Happy Holidays and stay safe.”, the doctor said.

“You too.”, Emily said as she walked out to the front and made her next appointment.

She drove back home and walked inside to find Jack and Sean playing Twister. She looked at Jack upside down and giggled until he fell and got up to run over to Emily. 

She bent down to pick him up and held him close on her side, squeezing him tight. She kissed his cheek and squeezed him even more. 

“Did you have fun with Uncle Sean?”, she asked.

“Yeah. We played Twister.”, Jack said.

“I _see_ . That looks _fun_.”, she said.

“Do you wanna play?”, he asked.

“I was actually thinking we can go to the store and get daddy’s present. What do you think?”, she said.

“Yeah!”, he said.

“Alright, go get changed.”, she said, setting him down and watching him run to his room.

“So?”, Sean said, standing up and walking over to her. She pulled out the ultrasound pictures and handed them to him. “Oh my god!”

“Shhh.”, she said.

“Sorry. God, this just... _wow_. How far along?”, he asked.

“10 weeks.”, she said.

“ _Wow_.”, he said, staring at them.

“I know.”, she said.

“This is so exciting! I’m sorry, I’m just so excited!”, he said.

“Imagine how Aaron is gonna react.”, she said.

“I think he’s gonna cry.”, he said.

“I feel bad he’s not the first to know...”, she said.

“Hey, hey. Don’t feel bad. He’s gonna be the first to know where it’s like super important.”, he said.

“It’s important telling you _too_. You’re the baby’s uncle... wow. It feels weird to say that.”, she said.

“Okay, sure, but... he’s the _dad_. He’s the most important person to tell.”, he said.

“Yeah and he’s not the first person to _know_.”, she said.

“Well... you _had_ to tell me. You had to have me watch Jack while you went to the appointment and it’s reasonable for you to need someone to freak out to right after. He’ll understand that.”, he said.

“I know... I just still feel bad. Why did he have to be gone _today?_ ”, she said.

“I don’t know. But he is. So let’s go get his gift and Jack’s lava lamp and we’ll come back and make some food and watch a couple Christmas movies and go to sleep.”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she nodded. “Alright.”

Once Jack was changed and they were all ready to go, they headed out to the store. When they got there, they went to grab Jack’s gift first and then drove to an entertainment exchange store. They had books, magazines, video games, antiques, magnets, stickers, instruments, vinyl, games, any type of entertainment people could imagine, walking in. 

While they were in there, Jack kept trying to run around, making Emily and Sean chase him constantly. Although he was loving it, it wasn’t quite amusing for them after the first two times.

“Jack. Come here.”, Emily said while looking at books. He waddled over and was panting. “Are you thirsty?”

“Yeah.”, he said, out of breath from running around.

She pulled a couple dollars out of her pocket and gave it to him. 

“Sean, will you go take him to get a water and juice or milk or something next door at the coffee shop?”, she asked.

“Yeah. Do you need anything?”, he asked.

“Could you get me just a black coffee? No. Wait. I’m supposed to be cutting back on the caffeine. Um... just a water.” she said.

“Got it. We’ll be right back.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she said, continuing to walk around.

She browsed the vinyl selection after books, going through the classics and not finding anything for Hotch. Not long after, Sean and Jack found their way back to her and he handed her her water.

“ _Thank you_.”, she said.

Jack nodded with a milkstache on his face, making her giggle. 

“So, you find anything?”, Sean asked.

“No. I have no idea what to get him. I have some small things. But I feel like I need another thing. Something bigger.”, she said.

“I think you have one thing that beats everything else.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, still.”, she said. 

“No. Not, _yeah, still._ You could literally return all his other gifts and he would be just fine getting this big thing.”, he said.

“Okay, fine. You’re right. But I still want to get him something else.”, she said, turning around and looking at the instruments. “Perfect.”

“What?”, he said.

“He loves guitar. He has one at the cabin but he keeps it there. He’d _love_ to start practicing again.”, she said.

“Oh, he used to jam out on it all the time up there.”, he said.

“That’s perfect. That’s what I’m gonna get.”, she said, starting to walk to the instruments when her phone rang. “It’s Aaron. How do I act normal?”

“You’re an FBI agent. You study behavior. You can fake people out easily. Just do that.”, he said.

She rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. “Hey, sweetie. How’s Chicago?”, she asked.

“I already missed the sound of your voice.”, he said.

“Mmm. I missed the sound of your voice _too_.”, she said.

“Really?”, he asked.

“Yes, silly.”, she said. “No, Jack, don’t hit the drum too hard.”, she called over to him.

“What?”, Hotch said.

“Oh nothing. We’re just out and Jack’s playing with some drums.”, she said.

“Ah. Well, what have you guys been doing all day?”, he asked.

Not wanting to tell him the complete truth just yet, of where she was, she tried to think of something but was stuck. She was too busy focusing on not spilling the beans yet.

“ _What did we do all day?_ Hmmm...”, she repeated, looking over at Sean.

“Cooked breakfast, played twister, watched cartoons.”, he whispered.

“We made some breakfast, watched some cartoons, and played some games. Jack is _loving_ Twister. He even did a thing upside down. He’s getting really good.”, she said.

“That’s so cute.”, he chuckled. “Can I talk to him?”

“Yeah, hold on.”, she said. “Jack. It’s daddy.”, she handed Jack the phone.

“Hi, daddy.”, Jack said.

“Nice save.”, Sean said to Emily.

“Do you know how hard it is for me to lie to _Aaron?_ ”, she said.

“You lied to _everyone_ for a couple years, about being a spy and all...”, he said.

“Okay. _Totally_ different situation... _ass_.”, she said, shoving him.

“Hey, I think it was pretty badass.”, he said.

“You don’t know the whole story, alright?”, she said.

“Alright.”, he said, putting his hands up. “Just saying... pretty badass.”

“Emmy.”, Jack said, giving her back the phone.

“Hey. So what have _you_ been doing all day?”, she asked.

“Thinking about you, talking to a bunch of boring people, thinking about you, going out with my friend, thinking about you. Doesn’t matter what else because I’ve been thinking about you and missing you all day.”, he said.

“It’s weird not being with you.”, she said.

“This is the first night we’ve spent apart since Foy-“, he started.

“I know.”, she cut him off.

“It’s alright. I’m okay. I’m not working a case. I’m not in danger right now.”, he said.

“I know. I just worry about you. Like I always say... you get hurt. _A lot. Way too much._ ”, she said.

“Yeah...”, he sighed.

“Are you at your hotel right now?”, she asked.

“I _am_. And guess what I saw in the gift shop?”, he said.

“A snow globe?”, she asked.

“Mmhm. Jack’s gonna love it.”, he said.

“Aww. Good. Well, we miss you. Even though it’s only been a day. Or part of a day.”, she laughed.

“I miss you guys too. How’s Sean doing? Did he sleep alright on the couch?”, he asked.

“He says he did.”, she said.

“You know what else is weird?”, he said.

“Hm?”, she asked.

“Being in a hotel without you. I’m never in a hotel room without you.”, he said.

“At least you can hog the bed. Take up all the space.”, she said.

“I don’t hog the bed!”, he said.

“Yeah, and I don’t snore.”, she laughed.

“Well, I’d rather have you curled up in my arms then have a huge bed all to myself.”, he said.

“Group cuddle when you get back?”, she asked.

“ _Of course._ ”, he said.

“Are you going to bed already?”, she asked.

“Well, I called to see if you maybe wanted to... you know... _talk_. Or we could maybe FaceTime... if you have to take a shower when you get back.”, he said and she could practically hear him smirking.

“I’m out in public right now, Aaron.”, she said.

“Well, it’s an hour earlier here right now. I can wait till you get home.”, he said.

“We’re watching Christmas movies and making food when we get back.”, she said.

“Ugh. No fun.”, he said.

“I’ll give you a _very_ nice Christmas gift later that night. I _promise_.”, she whispered.

“Oooo. I think I like the sound of _that_.”, he said.

“I’ll make it worth the wait.”, she said.

“Okay. Yeah. I can wait for that.”, he chuckled.

“Good. And- Jack, no. Don’t touch that.”, she said.

“Should I let you go?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. We’re out doing something and I need to stay focused so we can get home.”, she said.

“Alright. Well, I love you. Call me if you need anything or just miss my voice still.”, he chuckled.

“Alright, I will.”, she laughed. “Love you too babe.”

“Bye.”, he said as she hung up.

“So you didn’t spill it.”, Sean said.

“Surprisingly, no.”, she said.

“Good. Now, let’s get this guitar and get back to the apartment. I’m gettin’ pretty hungry.”, he said. “What about you, lil man?”, he asked Jack.

“Yeah.”, Jack said.

“Should we order takeout?”, she asked.

“Pizza!”, Jack said.

“You always want pizza.”, Emily laughed.

“Pizza sounds good to _me_. Pick up some movies from that video store you were talking about?”, Sean suggested.

“Alright. Why not?”, she said.

“Great!”, Sean said.

“Okay, let’s get this _guitar already_.”, she said.

After they bought the guitar, they headed to the video store and got a couple Christmas movies. After that, they picked up some pizza and went home.

As soon as they got back, Emily ran inside and set the guitar down in her bedroom. She came back out and grabbed some pizza, joining Jack and Sean on the couch. They turned on “ _Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ ” and saved “ _The Grinch Who Stole Christmas_ ” for the next night.

After the movie was over, Jack went to brush his teeth and Sean helped Emily clean up. 

“You alright?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she sniffled. “That movie was just really cute. And kind of sad because he just didn’t feel like he belonged and-“

“It’s okay. It was just a movie. It had a happy ending.”, Sean chuckled.

“I know that. This is just the hormones, okay? Just ignore it.”, she said.

“I’ll _try_.”, he said.

“Just be glad I’m not throwing up.”, she said.

“You said you had nausea constantly, last time...”, Sean said, cautiously.

“Um... yeah, why?”, she asked as they grabbed clean sheets from the closet and walked over to the couch, making up a bed for him.

“But you don’t _this_ time?”, he asked.

“Nope. Not yet at least but then again I was a little further along last time so...”, she said, tucking the sheets in. 

“Can I ask... how far along? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want...”, he said.

“Almost 12 weeks when we found out.”, she said, fluffing a pillow.

“Oh...”, he said, looking down as she handed him the pillow. “I’m really sorry...”

“No, it’s um- it’s fine. You don’t need to keep apologizing. Really. Just- it’s in the past.”, she said. 

“Okay. I’m sor- I’ll shut up.”, he said.

“Do you need anything before I go to bed? I’m exhausted.”, she said.

“It’s only 10:00.”, he laughed.

“Pregnancy. Early on, you feel like you’re being dragged down.”, she said.

“Ah. Well, go rest. I’m good here. Mind if I turn on the tv? I’ll keep it quiet.”, he said.

“Go for it.”, she said.

“Alright, thanks.”, he said.

She walked over to him and gave him a hug, squeezing him tight.

“Thank you for everything. _Seriously. Thank you._ .. You really _are_ like the brother I never had.”, she said.

“I’m always here for you guys. And you definitely _are_ like the _sister_ I never had. Thank you for pushing Aaron to reach out a couple years ago. I’m so grateful for you guys. You’re the only family I really have.”, he said.

“We’re always here.”, she said.

She felt him nod and pulled back, smiling at him and patted his shoulder before walking to her bedroom. 

“Sleep well. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.”, he said.

“Thanks. You too.”, she smiled, going in and closing the door. She grabbed her phone and walked into the bathroom. 

Stripping off all her clothes, she got in the shower and washed off. When she got out, she decided to do Hotch a little favor. Instead of FaceTiming him though, she sent him a few pictures. 

She finished getting dressed and hopped in bed, getting under the covers. She opened his contact and decided to call him.

“ _Hello_.”, he said in a flirtatious tone when he picked up.

“So, I take it you got my pictures.”, she said.

“I _definitely_ did.”, he said.

“Well...”, she said.

“I’m looking at them right now.”, he said.

“Oh yeah?”, she said.

“Mmhmmmm.”, he moaned.

“What are you doing right _now?_ ”, she asked and that time, _he_ could practically hear _her_ smirk through the phone.

After a while, they stayed on the phone, both laying down in bed. Staying up later than she thought she would, she almost fell asleep.

“Em?”, he said.

“Mmm?”, she said so quietly he barely heard her.

“Sweetie, you’re exhausted. You should go to bed.”, he said.

“No, I wanna talk to you.”, she said.

“But you’re tired. Just go to sleep.”, he said.

“Nooo.”, she said.

“You’re so stubborn.”, he chuckled.

“Fine. But will you stay on until I’m asleep? I sleep better with you. And I want you curled up behind me, holding me in your arms, kissing my neck. But right now, I have to settle for just your voice.”, she said.

“Okay. I can do that.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she said.

He stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep. Knowing her as well as he did he just knew when that was, also because of her _little snoring._

In the morning, Emily woke up randomly on her own around 10:00 and grabbed her phone to call Hotch.

“Hey, sweetie.”, he said when he picked up.

“ _Hi_.”, she said in a sweet voice.

“Did you just wake up?”, he asked.

“How’d you know?”, she asked.

“Because this is how you sound when you wake up. So _cute_.”, he chuckled.

“Mmm. Yeah, I did. How close are you?”, she asked.

“Um...”, he said, getting quiet.

“What?”, she said.

“Please don’t be mad...”, he said.

“Well what is it?”, she asked.

He sighed, “I’m gonna be a little later than I planned...”

“ _What?_ ”, she said, opening her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, it’s not up to me, it’s just the snow and-“, he started.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Are you seriously going to miss Christmas Eve?”, she asked, getting angry.

“No. No. I will _be there_ . I _promise_. I will make it.”, he said.

“Yeah, I’m _sure_ you will.”, she said.

“Please don’t give me that.”, he said.

“No, Aaron. This is-“, she started.

“ _Not my fault._ I don’t control the weather, Em.”, he said.

“Yeah, but you could’ve checked to see what it was going to be.”, she said.

“I had to go.”, he said.

“No, you didn’t. You really didn’t. God... I can’t believe you!”, she said.

“ _Emily._ This is completely out of my control.”, he said. All of a sudden, he heard her start to cry. “Honey... are you crying?”

“ _No_.”, she said, obviously trying to hold it back.

“ _Honey_...”, he said.

“Just-“, she kept crying. “I-“

“Babe... what’s going on? Did I- did I say something...?”, he asked quietly.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”, she said, sniffling some more and wiping her tears.

“Em, are you-“, he started.

“I gotta go, I love you.”, she said before hanging up, knowing she was gonna start crying even more. 

Once she did, Sean knocked on her door and came in. She stood up and he walked over to her, trying to meet her eyes.

“Emily... what’s going on?”, he asked.

“Aaron’s gonna be late and I’m pissed but I know I’m way too pissed and now I’m crying because apparently I cry when I get angry now.”, she said, wiping away her tears. “And I had to hang up on him because he kept asking me all these questions and I didn’t know how to answer him when I’m crying this much for pretty much no reason.”, she said.

“Emily. Take a deep breath.”, he chuckled. “It’s just the hormones.”

“I know that!”, she said.

“Okay. Okay.”, he said, putting his hands up.

Right after that, she heard a text come in and looked at her phone. Hotch had sent her a message saying, “ _Are you alright?_ ”

She showed Sean and rolled her eyes, making him laugh again. She typed back, “ _Yes. But I’m mad at you_.”

“ _You were crying_.”, he said.

“ _I’m fine. I’m just mad. What time will you be home?_ ”, she asked.

“ _I honestly don’t know. I wish I had a better answer. I’m sorry._ ”, he replied.

“ _You’re lucky I love you._ ”, she said.

“ _I love you too, hun._ ”, he sent back.

“So?”, Sean asked.

“He doesn’t know what time he’ll be here. Of course.”, she said, rolling her eyes.

“Alright, well, I’ll make the gingerbread house with you and Jack and cookies and eggnog or do whatever else you guys had planned.”, he said.

“Do you know his recipe for the eggnog? Not that I can have any anyways.”, she said.

“Did you know you can make _non-alcoholic_ eggnog?”, he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, of course I knew that. I just don’t know how.”, she said.

“Well, lucky for you, I do. Perks of being a bartender, you learn to make a lot of drinks.”, he said.

“I doubt they sell non-alcoholic eggnog at your bar.”, she laughed.

“They don’t but you still learn a lot. Trust me. I’m good.”, he said.

“Alright. Fine. Can Jack have some?”, she asked.

“It’s got zero alcohol in it. He‘s totally fine to have some.”, he said.

“Perfect.”, she said, walking out to the living room. “Oh, are you coming to my parent’s house tomorrow night for dinner? They invited us for Christmas dinner. I told them you’d be in town and they said to bring you. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but the food is always amazing and they live in like a mansion so...”, she said.

“Count me in. I just don’t have any nice outfits that I brought.”, he said.

“I’m sure you can borrow something of Aaron’s.”, she said, walking over to Jack sitting on the ground at the coffee table, coloring. 

“Are you sure he’d be okay with it?”, he asked.

“Yeah, go look in the closet. He’s got some nice wool and cotton blend v neck sweaters. He’s also got some button ups and more casual ties. You guys seem about the same size.”, she said.

As Sean walked into their closet and looked around, Emily said _good morning_ to Jack. While Sean was looking in the closet, he slid the different sweaters and button ups and suits across the rack. When he moved one of them, a box fell out, onto the ground. He bent down to pick it up and was almost positive what it was. He opened it and saw a decent size diamond ring. His jaw dropped and all of a sudden, he heard Emily walking in.

“Hey, did you find anything?”, she asked, starting to walk in the closet. He stuffed the box in his pajama pants pocket quick enough for her to not see what it was but not fast enough for her to not notice he was hiding something.

“What- oh, yeah. I uh- I like this button up and tie to go under the gray sweater.”, he said.

“What was that?”, she asked.

“What was what?”, he said.

“That thing you put in your pocket.”, she said.

“Um... I found a Christmas gift that Aaron got you. It fell out of something by accident. I’ll have to find another spot to hide it.”, he nervously laughed, hoping she bought it.

“Oh. Well, I don’t go looking anyways but yeah, maybe find a different place.”, she said.

“Will do.”, he nodded.

“Come on. Jack wants to make the ginger bread house now.”, she said, walking out.

“Be right there.”, he said, quickly putting the ring back where it fell from.

“You should also make some regular eggnog incase Aaron _does_ show up not super late.”, she said as he came back out to them.

“Sounds good.”, he said.

“Besides, you probably want some.”, she said.

“Yeah, not gonna lie.”, he chuckled.

“I know I only just found out but it’s so hard not to tell anyone.”, she said.

“Once you tell Aaron, you can.”, he said.

“Nooo. I wanna wait until the first trimester is over before I go around telling people other than immediate family. I mean I don’t even know if I’ll want to tell my mother tomorrow night. She can be extremely judgmental. But I know that she loves Aaron. He used to work for her and she liked him then. She met him as my boyfriend a while ago and she liked him then too. But whenever she finds out that we’re having a baby and we aren’t even married... she will _flip_.”, she said.

“What about your father?”, he asked.

“My father is much more... _understanding? Accepting, laid back?_ I don’t know. He’s not as judgemental and uptight as my mother. I’ve always preferred him in many ways over my mother.”, she laughed.

“Yeah... can’t relate.”, he laughed.

“Right... I’m sorry. Do you mind if I ask you something... about your mother?”, she said.

“Um... sure... go ahead.”, he said.

“Aaron told me a lot about her earlier this year. About the cancer and her just not being... you know... he said he doesn’t know how she’s doing... do _you?_ ”, she asked.

“I haven’t seen her in a long time. But she has my number. She’s called me not too long ago. Maybe a year?”, he said.

“But not Aaron...”, she said.

“He always took care of us. But he was never close with her if that makes sense. They really didn’t have the best relationship. But he did right by her even though she never really did for us. Last I spoke to her, she wasn’t sick. She still lives in our childhood home. Never moved. She’s not working. She’s not really doing much of anything.”, he said.

“He said he doesn’t want me or Jack or our child to meet her... I guess it just seemed a bit extreme.”, she said.

“Like I said... they didn’t have the best relationship. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t seen her since he left.”, he said.

“For college?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he said.

“Have they even spoken since then?”, she asked.

“You’d have to ask him that but I don’t think so.”, he said.

“No wonder he’s so big on family...”, she said.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

“When he found out my mother was in town a while ago, he kept pushing for me to bring him to meet her as my boyfriend. He kept going on about how family is important...”, she said.

“Me and Carson are kind of the only family he ever really had. Other than Haley and Jack. But before them... it was just me and then Carson.”, he said.

“Well, _you’re_ my family. You’ve got _me_.”, she said.

“I’m very lucky to. And I’m really glad you guys found your way back to each other. You’re really good for him.”, he said.

“He’s changed my life in so many ways...”, she said.

“I don’t know if I ever apologized for this but uh... I’m sorry for how I acted the night I met you.”, he laughed.

“Oh, you mean checking me out and pissing off Aaron intentionally by giving him that look and flirting with me all night?”, she raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. That.”, he laughed. “And also for pushing his buttons after dinner when we were walking around.”, he said.

“Okay, first of all, yes. That was kinda not cool. _But_ that doesn’t excuse him for pushing you up against a tree.”, she said.

“True. But I knew how he snapped. I knew what he would do.”, he said.

“Did he ever do that a lot?”, she asked.

“No. Not at all. He never hurt me. He really only ever got like that with our father. But he’s done that a couple times but never hit me or anything. Not saying that’s okay either but he’s never _hurt_ me. When I got a little older, we got into little spats but he mainly protected me. He always tried to make sure I was safe.”, he said, nodding his head down.

“You’re really strong, Sean. Don’t think that he fought for you all the time or that he was the only one who protected you and kept you safe. You did that too. You survived all of that.”, she said.

“Yeah... it just didn’t always feel like it. Did you know I only have one kidney?”, he said.

“No...”, she said.

“It got so bad one night, I finally _did_ get to the hospital and they had to remove one of my kidneys. That’s how bad it was..”, he said.

“I had no idea...”, she said.

“But you know what? One of my friends called Aaron and it looked like I might lose them both and he said he’d come down and give me a kidney if I needed it. He literally offered to give me an organ if I needed it... he’s the most loyal person I know. He’s saved my life in so many ways. I know we lost touch for a while and didn’t always get along but... he’s one of the best people I know. He’s just... good. You know?”, he said.

“I do, yeah.”, she smiled.

“I’m just glad he’s happy and he’s found someone just as good as him. He deserves it. He really does. So thank you.”, he said.

“I’ve never been happier in my life. These past few years I’ve known him, I mean _really_ known him, and been with him... have been some of the best years of my life. We’ve had a lot of challenges and a lot of... trauma really but, I’ve had him by my side through it all.”, she said.

“I’m glad. And hey, I know he’s my brother and all but if he ever does anything to hurt you, you know I’ll set him straight.”, he laughed.

“Thank you.”, she laughed along. “But I don’t see that ever happening.”

“Oh, are you guys gonna start looking at houses?”, he asked.

“Why?”, she asked.

“Well, didn’t you say that once you had a baby, you were gonna get a house?”, he asked.

“Oh god, that’s right. I feel like we should wait until the second trimester until we start looking... just to be safe.”, she said.

“It’s just, you’re gonna wanna be moved in already by the time the baby comes.”, he said.

“Yeah, we’ll uh- we’ll figure it out. I literally just found out _today_ that I’m pregnant. I haven’t even told my boyfriend and I don’t know much else. I don’t want to jump ahead _right now. Not until he knows_.”, she said.

“Alright, alright. Fair enough.”, he said. 

“But... will you wanna help us move? Maybe even go with us to look at some houses. I mean, we’ll have to make sure there’s our room, Jack’s room, the baby’s room and... maybe even a guest room... you need a bed for whenever you come over. You can’t always sleep on the couch. It could be _your_ room. If you ever needed to stay with us or move out of your place. It would be there for you.”, she said.

“I thought you weren’t planning ahead yet.”, he said.

“Aaron and I actually talked about that before.”, she said.

“Really?”, he said.

“You’re _family_ , Sean.”, she said.

“Wow...”, he said.

“ _Good wow?_ ”, she asked.

“Yes. Definitely.”, he said.

“Aaron wants to retire when we have the baby. He wants to stay home and take care of the kids. He might need some help.”, she laughed.

“You’d be going back to work?”, he asked.

“Yeah. I still have more I wanna do. I still have more I can do. He feels satisfied with his career by now and how much he’s done. It was his idea.”, she said.

“Damn.”, he whispered.

“Anyways, you think about it. We have time.”, she said, standing up. “Jack, let’s do the gingerbread house now.”

“Where’s daddy?”, he moped.

“Daddy is still in Chicago but he _will_ be back soon.”, she said, walking over to him and picking him up.

“ _When?_ ”, he asked.

“I don’t know, sweetie but he’ll be back soon.”, she said.

“Is he gonna watch movies tonight and make cookies?”, he asked.

“I don’t know... I _hope_ so.”, she said.

“Why is he not here?”, he asked.

“He has to fly in the jet we always go on for work but it’s snowing. And when it’s snowing, things move slower. Traffic is slower, people moving is slower, it’s not always safe to fly in a plane or jet when the weather isn’t good. He wants to make sure he is safe when he flies home.”, she said.

“Okayyyy...”, he frowned.

“You know what... he told me that he got you a present!”, she said.

“Present?”, he perked up.

“Uh huh. Something you’ll reeeallllyyy like.”, she said.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“ _I can’t tell you._ It’s a surprise.”, she said.

“Can I open it tonight?”, he asked. 

“How about... if he gets home late, you can open it.”, she said.

“Yeah!”, he said.

“Okay! Now let’s make the gingerbread house already!”, she said, setting him down and let him go run to the bathroom to wash his hands before they started.

Later that night after watching a couple movies, Jack started to fall asleep. Emily still hadn’t heard from Hotch other than a text from a few hours before saying that he still hadn’t left yet. 

Realizing it was past 9:00, she picked up Jack and started walking to his room. He woke up and held onto her tight as she tried to lay him down in his bed. 

“What? You wanna sleep with me?”, she asked.

“Until daddy is home.”, he said, wrapping his arms around her neck. 

“Okay, come on.”, she said, carrying him to her bedroom. She stopped and turned to Sean. “I’m gonna head to bed with him. Do you mind figuring out a way to wrap or disguise the guitar as some gift?”, she asked.

“No problem.”, he said, walking in her room and grabbing it, bringing it back out. He set it down and stepped in the bedroom. “Goodnight, lil man.”, he said, giving a high five.

“Night.”, Jack said back.

“Goodnight, Emily. I’m sure I’ll see you out there when Aaron gets back.”, he said.

“Oh, you definitely will. Can you text him and tell him we’re going to bed right now and that Jack is sleeping with me so he should be quiet when he comes in?”, she asked.

“You don’t want to?”, he asked.

“I’m too mad at him right now.”, she said.

“Alright, no problem.”, he chuckled. “Oh. One more thing.”, he said, running to the kitchen and came back with her prenatal vitamins. “Might wanna put those somewhere he can’t see until tomorrow.”

“ _Thank you_.”, she said.

“Do you have the ultrasound pictures?”, he asked. 

“In my night table.”, she said.

“Good. Okay, well, sleep well.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, she smiled and closed the door, walking over to the bed. 

She climbed in next to Jack and pulled the covers over them, making sure he was tucked in. 

“Will daddy be here soon?”, he asked.

“Soon. He’ll be here soon. He’ll wake us up when he gets here, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

“Now go to sleep and I promise you can open the present he got you when he gets home, alright?”, she said.

“Mhm.”, he said. 

“Okay, good. Now, go to sleep.”, she whispered, giving him a kiss on his head and stroking his hair a few times, falling asleep.

A couple hours later, Emily heard talking out in the living room and quietly got out of bed. She opened the door carefully and slipped out, closing it behind her. She stared at Hotch holding his bag, talking to Sean. She waited for him to turn around which took a while, making her even more impatient. 

Finally, Sean darted his eyes over to her and Hotch looked back. He walked up to her with a big smile and set his bag down. He pulled out some mistletoe from his coat pocket and held it over their heads. Emily glared at him and crossed her arms. 

“Come on, hun. It’s _mistletoe_.”, he said.

“Come on, Aaron. You’re _late_.”, she said, raising an eyebrow.

“ _Honey_... can we just pick this up tomorrow or the day after when it’s not Christmas or Christmas Eve?”, he asked.

“Do you know how many times Jack asked for you today?”, she said.

“I’m _sorry_. The weather delayed everything.”, he said.

“Yeah, I know that but I’m still mad.”, she said. 

“What do you want me to do?”, he asked.

“I don’t know but Jack wants to open his present you got him now.”, she said.

“He’s awake?”, he asked.

“No, but I promised him he’d get to if you were home late, which you are.”, she said.

“Alright, I get it. Was he gonna stay the night in our bed?”, he asked.

“No. Just until you got home.”, she said.

“Okay, good. I wouldn’t mind except we gotta do Santa stuff.”, he said.

“I know. Alright, come on. We’ll wake him up.”, she said, opening the door as he picked up his bag. “Did you wrap it?”

“The people at the gift shop did. Did you get the lava lamp?”, he asked. 

“Yeah. Got it wrapped and everything too.”, she said.

“Okay, good.”, he said, setting his bag down in their room and opening it up, taking out the snow globe.

He put it behind his back and walked over to the bed, gently shaking Jack, waking him up.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, still at a low volume, eyes barely open. He reached his arms out for him and he grabbed him, propping him up. Sitting him against the headboard, he gave him a hug and then took the present out from behind his back. 

“I have your present here, as promised.”, Hotch said, handing it to him.

Jack bounced up and down and tore the wrapping paper off. When he saw what it was, he bounced up and down again, shaking it all around. 

“Snow globe!”, Jack said.

“Guess what?”, Hotch said.

“What?”, Jack said.

“It _actually_ looked like that today! There was snow _everywhere_.”, Hotch said.

“ _Really?!_ ”, Jack said.

“Oh yeah! You would’ve loved it. We’ll go there someday.”, Hotch said.

Jack nodded his head and gave Hotch another hug. “Thank you, daddy.”, he said.

“You’re welcome, buddy. How about we go to sleep now? Wait for Santa to come.”, Hotch said.

“Mhm.”, Jack said, closing his eyes again as Hotch picked him up and brought him back to his room. He laid him down in his bed and tucked him in. They all gave him a kiss _goodnight_ and closed his door.

“Sean, thank you... for everything today and yesterday. Both of you. It really helped me out.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around Emily.

“I enjoyed getting to spend more time with Jack. And Emily. If anything I should be thanking _you_.”, Sean said.

“Regardless of who’s more thankful... whatever. I’m exhausted, I can barely form full sentences correctly.”, Hotch said.

“Well, we still need to put the presents under the tree.”, Emily said.

“Right. Let me just get changed real quick.”, Hotch said, walking into their bedroom with Emily. She brushed her teeth and washed her face after him while he got dressed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry... You missed possibly the first Christmas Eve that Jack will remember. You barely communicated throughout the day and your broke your promise.”, she said while he got changed into pajamas.

“Honey, I _know_ . I’m so- I feel bad. And it wasn’t my intention to do any of that. Today was just crazy and- you’re right... I should have communicated more throughout the day and I shouldn’t have made a promise that I didn’t have control over it possibly being broken. And for that, I _am_ sorry.”, he said, pulling a t-shirt on.

“I’m still mad...”, she said.

“Alright. That’s fair.”, he nodded. “Are you warm enough?”

“I have on heavy sweats, thick socks, a t-shirt and one of your warm, baggy sweatshirts. I’m warm enough.”, she said.

“You look really _cute_ in it...”, he said, shy.

She looked at him and went into their closet, grabbing the rest of the gifts that _weren’t_ under the tree already. She handed him a couple and some stocking stuffers. She brought a few others out, placing them under the tree. Sean helped organize them to look neat and in a nice order with the gifts with different wrapping paper patterns spread evenly and having things stacked nicely. 

When they finished, they said _goodnight_ to him and went into their room. They both pulled the covers back and got in bed. He started to scoot over to her but when she stayed further on her side than normally, he sighed and turned around. He scooted far on his side as well, gripping the sheets, wishing he could just hold her and make her feel better with his apology but she didn’t seem to want to hear it. He eventually started to drift off to sleep. 

While Hotch had finally fallen asleep, Emily was wide awake. She felt guilty for staying mad at him after he’d apologized and she knew it wasn’t his fault. She wanted to make it up to him somehow and knew she couldn’t sleep until she did. The only thing she could think of was telling him about the news she’d gotten earlier that day. She was dying to tell him after all and didn’t want to wait anymore. She knew he was tired but didn’t care at that point. 

She rolled over and scooted towards him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

“Aaron.”, she whispered. When it didn’t wake him up, she tried again. “Aaron.”, she said, just above a whisper. “ _Aaron_ .”, she tried at a regular volume. When there was still no response, she shook him harder and said his name again. “ _Aaron_.”, finally feeling him move a tiny bit and make a sound.

“Em?”, he mumbled.

“I’m sorry.”, she said.

“What?”, he said.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given you so much shit. I was just mad which I know I do have a right to be but I also know it wasn’t in your control. I _know_ you had to go and I _know_ it was the weather that delayed you. You couldn’t do anything about that.”, she said.

“Mmkay... can we talk about this tomorrow?”, he asked, almost slurring his words quietly, too tired to form them correctly.

“Okay...”, she said.

“Kay.”, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said, quickly before he fell asleep again.

“Babe, I’m really tired.”, he said as she reached her arm under his, around to in front and latched onto his shoulder.

“I have to tell you something.”, she said, resting her head on his shoulder. She nuzzled it into the side of his neck and leaned against it.

“Can it wait until tomorrow?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said. She waited for him to say something until she realized he’d drifted off again. “Aaron... _Aaron_.” She felt her anxiety building up but in a good way which she didn’t know if she’d ever really felt before.

“Honey-“, he tried before she interrupted him.

“Aaron.”, she whispered sweetly, giving his neck a kiss. “I’m pregnant.”

When he didn’t do anything for a few seconds, she worried that he’d fallen asleep until he rolled over fast, facing her. 

“ _What?_ ”, he said, looking her in the eyes.

“I’m _pregnant_.”, she grinned.

“You’re- you’re _pregnant?_ ”, he asked, jaw dropping, turning into a smile, and suddenly wide awake.

“Mhm.”, she nodded, smiling big.

“ _Really?!_ ”, he said.

“ _Really._ ”, she said.

“ _We’re gonna have a baby?_ ”, he said, tearing up. 

“Yeah.”, she nodded. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

He took a moment to process everything before he practically laughed in excitement and slung his arm over her, pulling her into him. She threw her arms over his shoulders and wrapped them around his neck. They held each other tight as she let out a couple tears.

“We’re having a _baby_.”, he said, gripping her more.

“I know.”, she said, nuzzling her head into his neck more.

“I- you just... I love you _so much,_ Em.”, he said.

“I love you _too_.”, she said, starting to cry more.

He pulled back and held her face, wiping the tears off and crashing his lips onto hers. She placed her hand on the back of his head and kept him in place for a minute. When their lips parted, he tucked her hair behind her ear and he smiled softly at her. 

“When did you find out?”, he asked.

“Yesterday.”, she said.

“How?”, he asked.

“I took a test and then I called the doctor and they had a cancellation so I went in last minute. It all happened so fast, I’ve barely had time to process it all.”, she laughed.

“You went to the doctor?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“Did you- did you get a picture?”, he asked, holding back tears.

“Mhm.”, she nodded, releasing him and rolling over. She reached in her night table and grabbed them, rolling back over to him. She held them close, looking at him before handing them to him.

“How many weeks?”, he asked.

“Ten.”, she said.

He looked at the pictures and started to tear up again. He grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers, squeezing it tight and stroking it with his thumb. 

“That’s our baby.”, he said, voice cracking as he showed her one of the pictures. 

Emily nodded and let a few tears roll down her cheek. “She said everything looked good and had a healthy heartbeat and... I just kept wondering how I didn’t notice till _10 weeks_ but then I remembered... we didn’t last time until _12 weeks_...”, she said.

“Honey, this is a good thing. Don’t compare it to last time. This is- this is good.”, he said.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just kind of hard not to with some things.”, she said.

“Have you had any symptoms?”, he asked.

“Just exhaustion and mood swings mainly. Sore boobs too.”, she said.

“No morning sickness or cravings or anything else?”, he asked.

“No. But that didn’t start until like week 11 or so last time. So I feel like it might come on for me then.”, she said.

“Don’t worry, that one doesn’t last too long.”, he said.

“It better not. It was just awful last time.”, she said.

“I’ll make you tea and soup and get you whatever you need whenever it happens.”, he said, kissing her hand.

“When I was crying on the phone earlier-“, she said.

“Mood swings. Got it.”, he laughed. 

“Apparently, I cry when I’m angry now too.”, she said.

“Oh god...”, he chuckled.

“Just... try not to make me mad.”, she laughed.

“Mood swings or not, I always try my best not to do that.”, he said. They smiled at each other and he looked back down at the pictures. Tearing up again. “I can’t stop crying.”, he laughed.

“I’m kind of feeling the same.”, she laughed.

“What made you think to take a test?”, he asked.

“Sean and I were talking about IUD’s and just how everything hadn’t regulated yet for me. I haven’t had my period for a while and he was saying that wasn’t normal and so I just thought to take a test. I just had a feeling. Also because he knew we were kind of trying so...”, she said.

“I just can’t believe it’s finally happening.”, he said.

“I know. It still hasn’t fully sinked in yet.”, she said.

He set the pictures on the night table and rolled back to her. He looked down and brought one hand to her waist and the other to her stomach. He smiled softly and pressed his forehead to hers. 

“How are we gonna tell everyone at work?”, he asked.

“No, no. We can’t yet. We have to wait till the second trimester.”, she said.

“But _Em_.”, he whined.

“It’s like a thing. You only tell immediate family or whatever in the first trimester and wait till the second to tell everyone else. Things could still go wrong. It’s just safer to wait. Trust me, I wanna tell everyone now but it’s just best not to.”, she said.

“What about your mom tomorrow night?”, he asked.

“ _God no._ She would give me so much shit. Talk about how we aren’t married yet and we should just get married now before I start showing. No. I’d be fine telling my father but that would be weird to tell him and not my mother.”, she said.

“Honey, you can’t keep this from _everybody_ for that long.”, he said.

“It’s not that long. The second trimester starts at 13 weeks. We only have to wait three weeks before we start telling people.”, she said.

“Jack’s gonna be a big brother.”, he said.

“He _is_.”, she said, squeezing his hand. “Um... how do we tell Haley... that might be kind of awkward...”, she said.

“Oh... yeah... um... I don’t know... Let’s just not think about that right now.”, he said.

She nodded and placed her hand on his face. “We should start looking at houses soon.”, she said.

“That’s _fast_.”, he said.

“Well, we wanna make sure we’re already moved in when the baby comes. So it would only make sense...”, she said.

“No, you’re right. Some things, we just don’t have time to waste.”, he said.

“So, when should we go look?”, she asked.

“Sweetie, I know how excited you are to find a new place and so am I but... can we wait a few days till Christmas is over and things have settled down?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m just so _excited_.”, she laughed.

“Me too, hun. Me too.”, he said, moving his hand side to side on her stomach.

“Can I ask you something?”, she said, rubbing his chest.

“ _Anything_.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“Remember when you were in the hospital in New York after you know, you got blown up?”, she said.

“Yes, of course. A lot happened that night.”, he said.

“Well, you mentioned how you’d thought about us having a family before... what did that look like to you?”, she asked.

“I think we should just talk about this later.”, he said.

“Well, I just... what do you imagine our family looking like? Do you want _more_ than two kids? Do you want a dog? Do you want someone involved in our lives more? I mean... what did you picture?”, she asked.

“All I can think about right now is _this_ baby that we’re having _now_.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said, moving her fingers to his hair, running them through. 

“I’ve thought about having three kids. This one is hopefully gonna be a girl. The next one, I’d have no preference because Jack would still be able to be a protective older brother to his sister and if he had another, he’d be used to living with females and I think that’s important. I think a lot of times, it teaches boys how to respect girls and be comfortable around certain things and not be immature. But if he had a little brother, he’d have a boy he could play with too and teach a lot to. I definitely want to get a dog because I’ve always wanted one. Maybe a rescue because it’s just better than breeders and Jack would help me train it since he is dying to get one too and I’d be home all the time with the kids so I’d have time. I’d want Sean to live close by and he could help out with the kids a lot more. Maybe even Carson could. JJ and Will would probably have another kid or two and then they could all grow up together and be best friends and they’ll all be around the same ages too so it would be perfect. You would of course become Unit Chief and I’d understand the hours because at that point it will be my old job. Oh and our wedding... you’ll want to just go to the courthouse but I’ll try to have a big wedding but not in a church because I know you hate that, no matter how much your mom will try to force us to have it in one. It’ll be in our backyard or maybe even Dave’s and it’ll just be our closest friends and immediate family. You’ll look so beautiful in your dress, I’ll forget my vows because I’m too amazed by the sight of you, I can’t think. You’ll be surprised at how much you actually loved that version of the wedding but won’t admit it because you’re too stubborn.”, he laughed. “I see a whole life for us, Em. I have seen us having two kids together and getting a dog. I see us living in a decent size two story house with a backyard and treehouse we built with a swing set on the side for the kids. I see us turning one of the kids’ rooms into a game room for them and two of them can share a room if they want because kids love bunk beds. Our kids would go to public school but ones in a good district. Maybe make sure the house is close to school so they can walk but safely where I can see them and make sure they’re safe. I could go on but... yes, I would like to have another after this one but I’m fine if we don’t because I’d understand if that’s too much or not what you want.”

“Wow...”, she said.

“I told you.”, he laughed.

“I love all of that.”, she smiled.

“Yeah?”, he said.

“ _All of it_.”, she said. 

“This is why we’re meant to be.”, he said, kissing behind her ear.

“Oh my god.”, she rolled her eyes.

“Honey, just let me have my moment please, okay?”, he said.

“Okay, sweetie.”, she giggled.

“ _Thank you._ ”, he said.

“Okay, I’m exhausted and I can finally sleep now that I told you.”, she said.

“When _were_ you gonna tell me?”, he asked.

“Tomorrow. I was gonna do something with the pictures but I have been dying to tell you since the second I found out. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”, she said.

“I’m so glad you told me _now_.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she said, placing her hand on top of his on her stomach. 

“We’re having a _baby_ , Em.”, he said.

“We’re having a _baby_.”, she smiled.

* * *

**i really enjoyed writing this chapter and the next one is a part 2, so it’s the next morning (christmas) and these are supposed to be sweet, happy chapters. enjoy, thank you, please leave reviews! :)**   
  



	89. Christmas

**Chapter 89**

  
  
  


**fair warning: mild smut included**

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The next morning, Hotch and Emily woke up from an alarm they’d set to make sure they were up before Jack to finish getting everything ready.

Hotch opened his eyes to find Emily curled up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. She rubbed his chest and rested her head against it.

“Good morning, beautiful.”, he said.

“ _Good morning_.”, she said, snuggling into his arms more.

“How are you feeling? Sick at all?”, he asked, rubbing her arm.

“No. I feel completely fine right now.”, she said.

“I didn’t dream up what happened last night, did I?”, he laughed.

“ _Aaron_... we’re having a baby.”, she giggled.

“Oh good, I didn’t make it all up in my head.”, he laughed.

“Hand me the pictures.”, she said. 

He reached over on his night table and grabbed the ultrasound pictures.

“Look at her.”, he said, pointing to one of them. 

“We’re still gonna refer to it as a girl?'”, she asked.

“Until we know for sure, yeah!”, he said. 

“This was going to be a Christmas gift but I _had_ to tell you sooner.”, she said.

“Honey, this is the best gift of _any kind_ at _any time,_ I could ever ask for.”, he said, kissing her head. “Thank you.”

“It takes two people.”, she laughed.

“'What do you think about the name, _Peyton?_ ”, he asked.

“For a boy or girl?”, she asked.

“Either one. It works for both.”, he said.

“I think it’s really cute actually. Are you already coming up with names?”, she asked.

“I’ve had some in mind for a _while_ . Some other gender neutral names I like... _Taylor, Spencer, Riley, Hayden, Logan_ -“, he said.

“ _Logan_ for a girl?”, she said.

“Yeah. It’s cute. I think it works for a girl too. But I’ve also got some girl names and some boy names.”, he said.

“I just feel like it’s gonna be a girl.”, she said, looking at the pictures. “You should’ve seen it. She was moving a little and the heartbeat was just- of course I cried but-“

“God... I wish I was with you at the appointment.”, he said.

“You will be for the next one.”, she said.

“Emily... that’s our baby.”, he said.

“I _know_.”, she laughed.

“We’re having a baby!”, he said.

She looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes again. “Honey...”, she said.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just so happy right now. I can’t stop saying the words, “ _our baby_ ”, it’s just... so unreal.”, he said.

He placed his hand on her stomach and rubbed it, holding her close.

“Should we tell Jack?”, she asked.

“Yes.“, he smiled.

“Great. Let’s do it.”, she said, getting up. 

He got out of bed right after her and walked over to her. “I’m sorry, did it make you uncomfortable. Me doing that?”, he asked after she got up so suddenly.

She grabbed his hands and pulled him close, placing them on her stomach with her hands on top. He took one and curled her hair behind her ear before guiding his lips to hers. 

“I love you so much, Aaron.”, she said.

“I love you too, Em.“, he said, giving her one more kiss before they walked out to the living room.

“Hey, morning.”, Sean said.

“We’re having a baby!”, Hotch said, walking over to him with his arms wrapped around Emily from behind.

“I thought you were gonna wait to tell him till this morning when we open presents.”, Sean said.

“I couldn’t help it. It was keeping me up last night. I _had_ to tell him.”, she said.

“Well, finally an official congrats to you _both_.”, Sean said.

“Thank you.”, Hotch said, kissing Emily’s neck and cheek, making her giggle when he kissed behind her ear, tickling her.

“Is Jack still asleep?”, Hotch asked.

“I believe so.”, Sean said.

“Let’s go wake him up.”, Hotch said, grabbing two Santa hats and put one on. 

He opened Jack’s door and walked up to his bed. He placed the other Santa hat on part of his head and tapped him on his shoulder, waking him up. 

As soon as Jack’s eyes were open, he sprang out of bed and grabbed the hat, putting it on and jumped into Hotch’s arms.

“Merry Christmas, buddy!”, Hotch said.

“Merry Christmas!”, Jack said, getting down from Hotch’s arms and running out to the living room.

Hotch followed him out and grabbed everyone’s stockings, handing them to each person. Sean brought over some coffee for them and they all sat down on the ground, opening their stockings.

Jack got some different candies along with some scratch n sniff stickers, a deck of cards with Batman on them, fun graphic socks, and some 3D glasses which he put on right away and kept on for a while.

Emily got some different candies as well, along with a nice scented lotion, a couple face masks, a box of incense, and a coupon book for free back rubs from Hotch, making her laugh.

Hotch got some different candies, travel puzzle books for the jet, earplugs to block out Emily’s snoring, a cigar and old zippo lighter from Rossi that Emily wasn’t so happy about, and a coupon book for free back rubs from Emily, making them _both_ laugh. 

Sean got some different candies, a bottle opener, sunglasses, cologne, and a couple shot glasses.

After they opened their stockings, Emily looked over at Hotch and glared. She leaned and whispered in his ear, “That better be the only cigar.”

“I had no idea he was gonna get me that.”, he said.

“He’ll be hearing from me later.”, she said.

“ _Relax_ , hun.”, he said, putting his arm around her and kissing the side of her head. “Hey, Jack, can you bring a few presents over?”

Jack got up and grabbed two presents, handing them over to Hotch and Emily. 

“Can you look for one that has uncle Sean‘s name on it?”, she asked.

He grabbed one and brought it over to her. “Does it say that?”, he asked.

“It _does!_ Good job, buddy. You’re getting really good with reading. Now can you find one with _your_ name on it?”, she asked, making him go back to the tree and search for his name on a gift. 

He picked up a larger one and ran over to where everyone else was sitting and plopped down on the ground. He immediately started tearing off the wrapping paper. When he pulled the toy cash register out of the box, he immediately started playing with it.

While Emily unwrapped her own gift to find that Hotch had gotten her an iPod, he unwrapped a new leather wallet, already holding a tiny picture of all three of them in it.

“ _Aaron_ . An _iPod?_ ”, she said.

“For when you go on your runs.”, he said.

“That’s-“, she started.

“Just accept it. I don’t wanna hear anyone saying anything like _it’s too much_ today, alright? Do you like it?”, he asked.

“Yes. I love it.”, she said.

“Then that’s all that matters.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she sighed. “Thank you.”, she smiled.

“A panini press! I’ve wanted one for so long! Ah, thank you guys.”, Sean said.

Next, Jack opened a Dr. Seuss book, Mad Libs, and a coloring book with a big marker and colored pencils set.

Hotch and Emily got a neck pillow from Sean and tried it on right away.

“I know you guys take naps a lot on the jet and I figured you could use one.”, Sean said.

“ _I_ could. _Emily_ _though_ likes to sleep on my shoulder every time.”, Hotch laughed. 

“You’re just so cuddly.”, she said, leaning into him.

“Anyways, thank you. I’m definitely gonna use it.”, Hotch said.

As they moved on, Jack received a magic kit, new pair of shoes, lava lamp, walkie talkies, and set to build forts with tents in it.

Hotch opened an old typewriter, spices and knives for the kitchen, a tie, and pajama pants. Emily opened a puzzle, yoga mat, a copy of the book, “ _The Great Gatsby_ ”, more candles, and a scarf and cardigan.

“1,500 pieces! Did you get this just for _me_ or were you wanting to try and do a puzzle with me again? You saw how that went last time.”, she said to Hotch.

“I’ll just _assist_ you.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Sounds good.”, she laughed.

As Sean continued opening his own gifts, she could tell he was anxious for Hotch to get the guitar which he had yet to see. He unwrapped his last gift and his jaw dropped.

“You did _not!_ ”, he said.

“We _did_ and don’t you dare complain or say you can’t accept it.”, Hotch said.

“A _laptop!_ No way. Uh uh. This really _is_ too much. You already got me a coffee maker, cocktail kit, leather jacket, boots, and a shaving kit. But now a _laptop?_ How could I possibly-“, Sean said.

“Shut up and just take it, alright?”, Hotch said.

“Alright... _thank you_... but... Emily had one last gift for you.”, Sean said, getting up to grab it from behind the tree. He had put it in a large box and brought it over to Hotch.

“Em, what _is_ this?”, Hotch said.

“Open it and find out.”, she said.

“Jack, come help me open this buddy.”, he said.

Jack ran over and helped Hotch who reached over and started tearing off the wrapping paper and stopped, looking over at her.

“I’m sorry, honey. I-“, he started.

“I don’t care about the delicate touch with this. Just rip it off.”, she laughed.

He went back to shedding the box of the wrapping paper and finally opened it to find a guitar inside. He paused for a moment, staring at it before looking back at her again.

“ _Emily_...”, he said.

“No, no. _Just accept it._ ”, she said.

“It’s so hard to argue with you.”, he said, trying to contain his excitement over his gift. “ _Thank you._ ”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“Play us something in a minute, would you?”, she asked.

“Oh god... I don’t even know what to play.”, he said.

“Come on, man. You know lots of stuff. You can hear a song and figure out the chords just by listening to it.”, Sean said.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll think of something. But uh... Em? Do you think we should-“, Hotch started to suggest.

“Yeah. Sure.”, she said.

“Hey, Jack, buddy. Come here.”, Hotch said. He stood up and walked over to Hotch and sat in his lap. “Emily and I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.”, Jack said.

Emily turned to face him and sat criss cross, holding onto his fuzzy socks on his feet. He giggled and kicked his feet up and down, making her laugh.

“Do you remember how Tyler came to class one day with his new baby sister?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said.

“Do you remember how you said you wanted a little brother or sister?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah.”, Jack said, leaning forward, trying to catch Emily’s hands.

“Well, in the summer, you _will_.”, Hotch said.

“What?”, Jack said, somewhat confused.

“This summer, you are going to have a little brother or sister.”, Hotch said.

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Ummm...”, Emily looked at Hotch.

“Because we want to have another kid just like you. You’re going to be a big brother.”, Hotch said.

“Where is it?”, Jack asked.

“The baby?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said.

“Well, before you can see the baby and hold the baby, it’s inside its mommy’s tummy.”, Hotch said.

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Because it needs to grow and stay safe until it’s big enough and healthy enough to be out in the world.”, Hotch said.

When he still looked confused, Emily stepped in. “Do you remember Tyler’s mommy had a big belly? A big bump for a while before you saw Tyler’s baby sister?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, Jack said.

“Well, that’s because his baby sister was in his mommy’s belly.”, she said.

“But why?”, he asked.

“That’s just where it’s safe for the baby until it’s ready to come out.”, she said, not sure how else to answer.

“Okay.”, he said.

“So, right now, I have a baby in _my_ belly and soon, it’s going to get bigger and then we‘ll have a baby. And you’ll be a big brother. Does that still sound like something you want?”, she asked.

“What?”, he asked.

“Do you still want to have a baby sister or baby brother? Do you still want to be a big brother?”, she asked.

“Yeah!”, he said, suddenly more excited.

“Okay, good!”, she smiled.

“Why is your belly not big?”, he asked, poking it, making them laugh.

“Because the _baby_ isn’t big yet.”, she said.

“Oh. When does it get big?”, Jack asked.

“Probably in a few months. You will probably see a bump a little bit before your birthday and it’ll get bigger after that.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, getting up from Hotch’s lap and going back to play with his new toys.

“Okay, well that was difficult _and_ extremely easy.”, Emily laughed, standing up. Hotch and Sean followed her action and Hotch sat down on the couch with her while Sean offered to cook breakfast for them and went to the kitchen.

“I think it went alright.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around her.

She leaned into him and took his hand that was wrapped around her side, in hers, intertwining their fingers, looking down at them. 

“Do you think he really understood what we were saying?”, she asked.

“I think he understands there will be a baby and that he will be a big brother but I’m not sure if he really understands a lot of the other stuff. Maybe when you _do_ have a bump and he can see it and feel the baby kick, it’ll be different. And he’ll probably act more excited then too. But for now...”, he said.

“It’s good to know he still wants a little brother or sister.”, she said.

“Yeah, definitely.”, he said, stroking her hand with his thumb. “It’s gonna be so cute when you have a bump.”, he chuckled.

“When do you think I’m gonna start showing?”, she asked.

“It’s different for everyone. Sometimes it takes a little longer if it’s your first and also when you’re so skinny... like _you_ . I know with Haley, she didn’t have a _noticeable_ bump until about 20 weeks but if you were up closer or felt it, you could notice a tiny bit like a little after 15 weeks. It all depends.”, he said.

“Will you tie my shoelaces for me when I can’t bend down and reach them?”, she asked.

“I’ll do anything you need me to.”, he laughed.

“Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.”, she said.

“Don’t go crazy though.”, he said.

“ _Excuse me._ I’m carrying your child here. I’ll go crazy if I want. Way over the top. Unreasonable requests from you 24/7.”, she said, looking at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Fine. Whatever you want, hun. Like I said before, _I’ll cater to your every need._ ”, he laughed.

“Best boyfriend ever.”, she giggled, nuzzling into him more.

“Only the best for you, babe.”, he said, kissing the top of her head. “Speaking of which... I’m interested in that Christmas gift you said you’d have for me later tonight.”, he whispered.

“I forgot Sean is staying the night... Tomorrow night?”, she said.

“Seriously?”, he asked.

“I’m _sorry_ . I’ll make it up to you even _more_ because of that.”, she said.

“It’s _Christmas_ ... I wanted to have one last thing to unwrap... in _bed_.”, he smirked.

“Tomorrow, Aaron. Just be patient.”, she said.

“Emily... I was patient for _about_ two years. I can handle a day.”, he chuckled.

“Okay, wait, so _seriously_ nothing... _nothing_ that whole time?”, she asked.

“Jack was conceived and then I slept with you for the first time. There was _nothing_ in between those. I waited that whole time.”, he said.

“No wonder our first time was so great.”, she said.

“Em, it was great because it was with _you_ . _It was_ our _first_ time. Regardless of how long it had been since the last time with anyone... it would’ve been amazing no matter what.”, he said.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”, she said. 

“I’m _always_ right.”, he said.

“Don’t push it, mister.”, she said.

He just laughed and lowered his head a bit, his lips meeting hers, kissing her forehead when it came back up.

“Hey, Aaron, could you help me with something in here?”, Sean called out.

“Yeah, sure.”, Hotch said, standing up while Emily went to go play with Jack.

“What’s up?”, Hotch asked.

“You have a _ring?!_ ”, Sean said.

“What?”, Hotch asked.

“Don’t play dumb. I saw that diamond ring in one of your suits in the closet.”, Sean whispered. 

“What were you doing in there?”, Hotch asked.

“Looking for an outfit for tonight. It fell out and Emily walked in right as I grabbed it. Luckily, she didn’t see it.”, Sean said.

“Shit...”, Hotch said under his breath.

“You need a better spot for that.”, Sean said. 

“I was gonna do it tonight but she told me a while ago that she doesn’t want to get engaged when we have a baby because she doesn’t want to get married just because we’re having a baby and it seems like it’s supposed to be the right thing to do. And I agree but with or without the baby being involved in any of this... I’m ready to marry her now. I _have_ been for a while. But what if I do it tonight and she thinks I’m doing it just because she told me last night that she’s pregnant?”, Hotch asked.

“I say _go for it._ You both know you want to marry each other eventually, what’s holding you back? It’s ridiculous.”, Sean said.

“You’re right. But she also doesn’t want to be a pregnant bride. So we’d have to wait until _after_ the baby is born and we’d have to wait quite a bit to get settled with that too.”, Hotch said.

“ _So?_ At least you’ll be engaged. Just _do it already._ ”, Sean said.

“I need you to watch Jack for me tonight then.”, Hotch said.

“I’m sleeping here anyways. Whatever you need. Will I need to put on headphones or something once you guys get back or...”, Sean laughed.

“Shut up. We’d never do that with you here or right outside our room.”, Hotch laughed.

“Thank god.”, Sean said.

“I don’t know what time we’ll be back but probably pretty late. I want to drive out somewhere where there’s a good view of the stars because I bought her a star and named it after her and I was gonna tell her and show her that. And _then_ I was gonna do it but I’m trying to think of where to drive out to.”, Hotch said.

“Somewhere that’s not near anyone or anything. The woods or something. Far out of the city so you can see the stars better and also... bring some blankets and stuff and put them in the backseat. If she says _yes_ and you can’t do anything when you get back home... take advantage of the alone time you’ll have...”, Sean winked at him and Hotch rubbed his temples, stressed out of his mind.

“What if she says _no?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“She won’t. She’s _gonna_ say _yes_. Besides, I took a look at that ring. What is that, one carat?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah, she wanted something plain and simple so I tried my best but... yeah.”, Hotch said.

“It’s an amazing ring.”, Sean said.

“Thank you.”, Hotch said.

“ _So! You’re having another kid!_ ”, Sean said quietly.

“God. I _know_. It’s all that’s on my mind right now.”, Hotch said.

“Dude, you’re gonna be 50 in two years... _you’re gonna be_ in your mid to late 60’s when your kid graduates high school.”, Sean laughed.

“Shut up, man.”, Hotch said.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just messing with you. I’m happy for you guys. _Really_. And I’m so excited to have another little niece or nephew.”, Sean said.

“ _Thank you._ We want you to be a part of our lives more. Maybe living closer... Have you thought about moving out here at all?”, Hotch asked.

“It’s more expensive here than where I live now. I don’t know...”, Sean said.

“We’re gonna look at houses soon. We want an extra room for you. You’re kind of the only family we have other than Emily’s parents but they aren’t extremely close and... you’re so good with Jack and he loves spending time with you... I actually had an idea instead of a guest bedroom.”, Hotch said.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”, Sean said.

“A guest house or little studio. One in the backyard or kind of attached to the house or right next to it. It gives you your own space but you still technically live with us.”, Hotch said.

“Are you serious?”, Sean said.

“Completely. We want you around, you have nobody out where you live, you come down here all the time anyways and you could help out with the kids... and... it’d be fun living with you again.”, Hotch chuckled.

“That sounds awesome.”, Sean said.

“Perfect. Emily is pretty adamant about starting to look soon, understandably so... come with us when we do?”, Hotch asked.

“Definitely.”, Sean nodded.

“Aaron!”, Emily called out.

“Yeah, hun.”, Hotch said, walking over to her.

“Can you play us something on the guitar now?”, she asked.

“Ohh, I don’t knowww.”, Hotch said.

“Please daddy!”, Jack begged.

“Or teach me something on guitar.”, Emily said.

“You wanna learn guitar?”, he asked.

“Yeah, come on. Show me.”, she said.

“Alright, fine.”, he said.

After a whole day of lounging around and just spending time together, they all started to get ready to go to Emily’s parent’s house for dinner.

“Sean, did you need to borrow a pair of pants too?”, Emily asked. 

“Would these khakis work that I actually brought with me?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah, those would be perfect.”, she said.

“Great, then I’ll just grab the button up, tie, and sweater.”, he said, walking in their closet and grabbing them. Once he walked out of the room and went to the bathroom to change, Emily walked up to Hotch changing.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”, he asked while taking his shirt off. She approached him and put her hands on his abs, sliding them up his chest.

“Just fine.”, she smiled and bit her lip.

“Honey, we don’t have time for that right now.”, he said.

“I know _you_ were able to wait two years but... I’m a little more impatient.”, she said.

“Well, you’ll just have to learn then because we can’t do this right now or tonight even.”, he said, taking her hands off him.

“You are very hard to resist.”, she said.

“That’s just the hormones talking.”, he laughed.

“No. That just makes it more _intense_.”, she said.

“Just wait till tomorrow.”, he said, dropping her hands and going to the closet.

“You’re not... scared or nervous or anything, are you?”, she asked.

“About what?”, he asked.

“About having sex.”, she said.

“ _What?_ No, of course not. Why _would_ I be?”, he asked.

“You were last time. You were really hesitant.”, she said.

“You were also in a really fragile state then.”, he said.

“So were _you_.”, she said.

“Fair enough. We both were and I didn’t know if it was okay to-“, he said.

“Well, don’t hold back tomorrow night.”, she said.

“Duly noted.”, he chuckled, grabbing a button up, tie, and sweater, matching with Sean.

“Oh my god, are you nervous?”, she asked.

“No. Not at all. Why? Are _you?_ ”, he asked.

“A little...”, she said.

“It’s gonna be okay.”, he said.

“What if she figures it out?”, she said.

“ _Then she figures it out_.”, he said.

“She can’t know this though.”, she said.

“Why not?”, he asked.

“I already told you. She’s very judgmental, as you know. And also... very traditional. She’d be extremely disappointed in me if she found out we’re having a baby and not getting married or already married.”, she said.

“Well, when _would_ you tell her? You can’t exactly keep her grandchild a secret from her forever.”, he said.

“I don’t know but tonight is not the night.”, she said.

“Alright, fine. Go ahead and get dressed now and we’ll go.”, he said.

Once she finished curling her hair and applying makeup, she slipped on a long sleeve white blouse before putting on a black and white tweed pleated mini overall dress with black ankle high boots with a thick heel, almost a wedge.

Hotch saw her step out of the closet and walked up, going behind her. He put her gold bar necklace on her and came around to her front, holding her sides.

“You look _so cute_.”, he smiled, bringing their lips together. “Are you gonna be warm enough?”, he asked, looking down at her exposed legs.

“I’ll be fine.”, she said, running her hands up and down his arms. But I’ll grab the new cardigan you got me.”, she said, stepping into the closet and taking it off the hanger. 

When she walked back to Hotch, he pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her. She did the same around his neck as they swayed back and forth, staring in each other’s eyes.

“Look at that. You’re almost as tall as me when you wear those.”, he said.

“Still need a few inches but sure.”, she laughed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear this dress before. It’s cute.”, he said.

“I haven’t worn it in a long time but I figured I should try and wear my tight fitting clothes while I still can.”, she said.

“You’ll be able to fit back in them after you give birth.”, he said.

“Not necessarily. I’ll have to get back in shape. I may not be able to get back to the same size I’m at now.”, she said.

“Yes, you will and even if you couldn’t, that’s fine. Your body is beautiful no matter what.”, he said.

“That reminds me, I need to make sure I’m eating more but also staying physically active but since I know you won’t let me go out in the field...”, she said, rolling her eyes, “... the doctor said that a lot of pregnant women really enjoy yoga. So the yoga mat that I got was perfect.”, she said.

“Good! That’s good. What’s your favorite present?”, he asked.

“Mmmm... probably either the iPod or the book. What’s yours?”, she asked.

“Oh, _definitely_ the wax earplugs. Now your snoring won’t keep me up anymore.”, he said.

“You _ass!_ ”, she said as she smacked his arm, making both of them laugh. “Shut up. It’s not _that_ loud and you sleep just fine.”

He smiled and started to lean in but she put her finger up, against his lips, preventing them from touching hers. 

“Oh, so I can’t _kiss you now?_ ”, he said.

She raised an eyebrow and slid her finger all the way down to his chest as she walked out of the room. He stood there for a moment and shook his head, laughing to himself. When he pulled himself together, he went into the closet and found the box with the ring in it, putting it in his pocket and stepping out into the living room.

“Alright, are we all ready?”, Hotch asked.

“Look at what the lil man is wearing.”, Sean said, watching Jack walk out of his room in his khaki pants with a button up and crooked tie underneath a nice sweater. 

“Oh! All you boys are matching! This is the cutest thing ever!”, Emily said, racing to grab her phone. She brought it back out and stared at them. “Well... get together!”

“ _Emily_ , no.”, Hotch said.

“Do it for me. _Please_.”, she said.

“ _No_.”, he said.

“I’m carrying your child. The least you can do for me since you don’t have a uterus that holds it for nine months, is to let me take a picture of you guys!”, she almost yelled. “As a favor to me.”, she said calmer, batting her eyes.

“You can’t play that card anytime you want me to do something.”, he said, picking up Jack.

“I most certainly can. You’re not the one who’s gonna deal with mood swings, nausea all day, constantly having to pee, carrying around what will feel like a giant bowling ball-“, she said.

“Alright, I get it. Just take the picture.”, he said.

She smiled, getting a picture of all three of them together. Hotch set Jack down and fixed his little tie before walking up to Emily who seemed to be crying, concerning him at first.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”, he asked, touching her shoulder.

“These pictures are just so cute and sweet.”, she said, sniffling, showing him on the phone.

“Hormones?”, he asked.

“Yes! What else?!”, she snapped, crying a little more.

“Do you want me to grab your mascara so you can reapply it in the car?”, he asked.

“Mmhmm.”, she nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go do that right now.”, he said, running in their bathroom and grabbing a couple pieces of toilet paper as well, wiping the tiny smudges off her face for her and handing her the mascara.

“Thanks, sweetie.”, she said.

“No problem.”, he said.

“Alright, let’s go.”, Sean said, picking up Jack and giving him a piggyback ride all the way down to the car with Emily and Hotch following behind.

The whole drive there, Emily worried about her mother figuring out she was pregnant. It was all that was on her mind and Hotch could tell. He took his hand off the steering wheel and reached for hers, holding it the entire time. 

When they finally arrived, they pulled in the wide, long, round, curved driveway, parking near the front. They got out and helped Jack out of his car seat. Walking up to the front door, Emily felt her legs wobble so Hotch put his hand on her back for stability. 

“When you said _like a mansion,_ you weren’t kidding...”, Sean said as they rang the doorbell. 

“I haven’t been here in _forever_.”, Hotch said.

“Neither have I.”, she said right before a security staff member opened the door, letting them inside. 

Elizabeth came out to meet them in the giant area by the front doors and curved stair cases on both sides with a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. 

“Emily, I’m so glad you could make it! Merry Christmas to all of you.”, she said, giving Emily a hug. 

“It’s good to see you too. Merry Christmas.”, Emily said.

“ _Aaron_. How are you?”, she asked, giving him a hug.

“Excellent, how are you these days? It’s been a while.”, he said.

“I haven’t had an assignment for a little while so a bit dull but that’s alright. I guess having a bit of a break can be nice. Oh, you must be Sean.”, she said, shaking his hand.

“Yes. It’s very nice to meet you. Your home is... lovely to say the least.”, he said.

“Thank you very much.”, she smiled. “And you must be Jack.”, she said, bending down and putting her hand out. 

He slowly shook it and clung onto Sean’s with his other hand. “Hi.”, Jack said, shyly.

“Do you like presents?”, she asked.

“Uh huh.”, he nodded his head.

“Well... I might have some under our Christmas tree.”, she whispered.

“Really?”, he asked.

“Oh yeah! Wanna come see?”, she asked.

Jack looked over at Hotch and when he nodded, letting him know it was okay, he followed Elizabeth towards the living room where their massive Christmas tree was. 

As the rest of them were starting to follow, Emily’s father came out of nowhere.

“Emily!”, he said.

“Dad!”, she said, giving him a big hug. “I haven’t seen you in _so long._ How are you? I’m sorry I’ve been terrible with communication but things have just been so busy constantly the past few years with the BAU and-“, she said.

“Don’t worry about it. I completely understand. I’m married to your mother, remember?”, he laughed and looked over to Hotch.

“Um, dad... this is my boyfriend. Aaron.”, she said.

“I remember Aaron. More as _Agent Hotchner_ but... it’s nice to see you again. I guess it literally _has_ been _years_.”, he said, shaking his hand.

“Nice to see you again as well, Sir.”, Hotch said.

“Please, just _Rob_ is fine.”, Rob said.

“Alright.”, Hotch nervously laughed.

“Dad, this is Sean, Aaron’s brother.”, Emily said.

“Nice to meet you.”, Rob said.

“You as well.”, Sean said, shaking his hand.

“You haven’t met Jack yet but he’s with mom looking at presents by the tree.”, she said.

“And Jack iiis... _your_ son?”, Rob asked Hotch.

“Yes.”, Hotch nodded.

“I saw him walk by with Elizabeth. He sure is cute. I can definitely see the relation. You know... you and Emily both have pretty good genes, maybe if-“, Rob started through his teeth and slyly.

“Oh, you know, um, we should probably go check on Jack, don’t you think?”, Emily said to Hotch.

“Yeah. Definitely, uh- le- lead the way.”, he said, following her with Sean.

“Nice save. Totally not awkward at all... God, could you guys be any more obvious?”, Sean whispered.

“I panicked...”, Emily said, linking arms with Hotch and walking into the living room, spotting Jack all the way across it.

All of a sudden, Hotch’s phone rang and it was JJ, asking them to pick stuff up from the store and come over for help on something but Sean volunteered. Hotch gave him the keys and he promised to come back and pick them up afterwards.

Once he left, they went up to Jack tearing open a large present and sat down on a Victorian looking chaise lounge next to each other. Emily leaned back into Hotch slightly while he wrapped his arms around her.

When Jack finally tore off the last piece of wrapping paper, Hotch tried to look in front of him to see it. 

“What’d you get, buddy?”, Hotch asked. 

“A scooter!”, Jack said, jumping up and down.

“ _What?_ Elizabeth...”, he said, turning to look at her.

“He _loves_ it!”, she said.

“Mom, you didn’t have to do that. That’s a really nice scooter.”, Emily said.

“And very expensive...”, Hotch whispered. “Let me pay you back.”

“You will do no such thing. This is my gift to him. You do a lot for my daughter and... he’s a little kid and I love spoiling them with gifts. I already sent your gifts to you. They should arrive soon.”, Elizabeth said.

“Do they light up?”, Jack asked, pointing to the wheels in the picture on the box.

“Of course they do.”, Elizabeth said. 

Jack’s jaw dropped and grinned ear to ear, looking at Hotch who looked at Emily and she shrugged. He sighed, “Alright... _thank you. Very much_.”, he told Elizabeth. “Jack, what do-“, he started.

“Thank you.”, Jack smiled at Elizabeth. 

“You’re most certainly welcome. And...”, she looked all around before leaning in and whispering something in his ear. He grinned and looked around the tree to find another large gift.

He started pushing it over towards them until they realized he needed help and Rob stepped in. They set it down where everyone could see while Rob helped him open it since it was taller than Jack himself.

“Oh god...”, Hotch said.

“Just let her.”, Emily whispered.

“It’s _taller than him_.”, he said.

“It’s okay.”, she said, stroking his hand until she started to feel a bit sick, sitting up slightly. “Ooo.”, she groaned quietly in discomfort.

“You okay, hun?”, he asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a little... hmmm”, she hummed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m good.”, she smiled, looking back at him.

He rubbed her back in circles and nodded before looking back at Jack and Rob opening his present. Rob gasped, pretending to be surprised when it was revealed what Jack had gotten.

“Wow, Jack! What is that?”, Rob asked.

“Basketball hoop!”, Jack said.

“This one was my idea. I didn’t know if he was into sports or not or which ones but every little boy loves shooting some hoops sometimes.”, Rob said.

“That’s really nice, dad. Thank you.” Emily nodded and smiled.

“He loves soccer and we’ve looked into getting him on a team. But he also loves watching basketball. He’s just never gotten to actually play it. So this is really great, thank you.”, Hotch said.

“My pleasure. Do you play at all?”, Rob asked.

“It’s my favorite sport but I used to be on the football team back in high school and college. But basketball has always been my favorite.”, Hotch said.

“Favorite team?”, Rob asked, stepping up to them.

“Lakers. By far.”, Hotch said.

Rob fist bumped him and eyed him carefully. “Good.”, he nodded. 

“This one here, she’s more of a Warriors fan.”, Hotch said.

“I like other teams too!”, she said.

“I raised her to like the Lakers but she went her own way. Always did with everything.”, Rob said.

“I also like the Nets...”, she said.

“She’s just not a huge sports person.”, Hotch said.

“No, but you are and so is Jack. Why don’t we get a soccer net for him in the backyard when we move into the new house.”, she said.

“You guys are buying a house?”, Elizabeth asked, not surprising Emily that she was eavesdropping.

“Oh. Um...”, she said.

“We’re thinking about it. Seriously considering it for somewhat soon. _Very soon in fact.._.”, Hotch said, saving Emily which she was thankful for until he looked at her with pleading eyes.

She tried to tell him, _no,_ using almost micro expressions but she knew he wouldn’t give up. Like he had told her before, it _was_ her family after all. But something still didn’t sit right with her.

Hotch turned his head, whispering in her ear, “They’re your family... just tell them.” She sighed and looked back at everyone, taking his hand in hers, squeezing it tight when she felt a bit of nausea coming on again. She tried her best to suppress it but not much was helping.

“Uh oh. That’s the same guilty face you used to have when you were a teenager... wait... _are you engaged?!_ ” Elizabeth asked with a huge smile on her face.

“No.”, Emily quietly let out a small, shy laugh. “Aaron and I... we’re about to start looking for some houses because... our apartment just isn’t big enough anymore or... it won’t be soon.”, she said, looking at everyone, too scared to go on but Hotch gave her hand a squeeze and she gained a tiny bit of confidence in what she was about to say. 

“I’m sorry, what are you saying?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Elizabeth, just ca-“, Rob started to say, making it obvious to Emily and Hotch that he was catching on to what Emily was saying and was trying to calm Elizabeth down, knowing she wouldn’t be in just a moment from then.

“Emily?”, Elizabeth said, almost demanding her to finish what she was sharing.

She paused for a moment and looked over at Jack, seeing how fascinated he was by the basketball. How he was somehow entertained just by spinning and rolling it around, sitting on the ground. She always smiled at the sight of him but being in emotional states like the one she was in, especially when talking about kids, made her hormones hit different levels. She started tearing up but tried to hold them back. She looked at Rob trying to gauge his reaction and felt more at ease when he offered her a small smile that seemed genuine.

She focused her attention back to Elizabeth, scared of what may come next from her mouth after she would tell her. She took a deep breath and squeezed Hotch’s hand again and didn’t let go.

“I’m pregnant.”, Emily said. She waited a moment for her mother to say something but no words came out of her mouth. She stared straight at Emily with no expression of any kind. She _had_ become pale in the face, almost as if the blood was completely drained from it. Emily swore she couldn’t even see her breathe.

Finally, Elizabeth stood up straight from leaning against a fancy couch obviously meant more for decoration than comfort. Without stopping for one second once she did, she walked straight out of the room and headed towards the stairs. 

They all stayed silent for a moment before Rob broke it and stepped over to Emily with his arms open.

“ _Congratulations_ , honey!”, Rob said, giving her a big hug and kissed the side of her head, bringing more tears to her eyes.

“Thanks.”, she said, still disappointed. 

“Your mother just needs a minute. I think it’s just affecting her differently.”, he said.

“What else did I expect from her? She’s always going to be extremely judgmental of everything I do, just- just my life in general. I can never seem to do anything good enough for her.”, she said, looking down. Hotch pulled her back into him again gently and wrapped his arms around her as she held onto them.

“That is _not_ true. She brags about you _all the time_ to people she works with. How successful you are, how proud she is of you, how good of a person and agent you are. She sees you as extraordinary. Which you are.” Rob said.

“That’s hard to believe.”, she scoffed.

“Well, it’s true.”, he said.

“How come she never tells me that or shows it?”, she asked.

“ _You’re_ the profiler here. _Not me_. I’m just stating the facts.”, he said.

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”, she said.

“This is a happy thing, right?”, he asked.

“Yeah. We’re really happy.”, she tried to smile.

“Then I’m ecstatic.”, he said.

“Thank you.”, she finally managed to smile.

“I think your mother is too, or _will_ be, she just... has other issues.”, he said.

“Like what?”, she asked.

“Hey, Jack, what are you doing over there?”, Hotch asked.

“Playing with the toy cars.”, he said.

“There’s one more present I forgot to give you. Let me show you how it works.”, Rob said to Jack. “I’ll be back over here in just a few. I wanna show him this other thing.”

“That was really nice that they got him so many things.”, Hotch said once Rob walked away, over to Jack.

“Yeah. My mother knows how to spoil people, just not how to be happy for them. Welcome to my childhood.”, she laughed.

“Hey, you said she was really nice when we met with her for dinner a while ago. You said it went really well and that she told you how proud of you she was. That’s something.”, he said.

“Yeah... 20 years too late.”, she said.

“No. That’s not true. She made an effort. She admitted she has always felt that way. She just didn’t know how to show it.”, he said.

“I told you I didn’t wanna tell her.”, she said.

“When _were_ you going to? _After she’s born?_ ”, he asked.

“ _I don’t know_ . But not _tonight_.”, she said. 

“I’m sorry but maybe it was good we got it out of the way early on. And look, your _father_ is happy for us.”, he said.

“This is _not_ how I wanted our Christmas night to go.”, she said.

“I’m sorry...”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“For what you did, for how I feel, or for causing all of that by pressuring me into telling her?”, she said.

“ _Em-_ “, he said.

“No, I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I’m just upset right now.”, she said.

“Do you feel like I pressured you?”, he asked.

“No. I’m stubborn. You can’t pressure me into doing anything. Not that you’ve ever tried. But no, I don’t feel like you did. Sometimes I need a push and the only person who knows me and my limits whether _I_ do or not, is _you_. You only give me a push when you know I can handle it even though I don’t always think I can and that’s what holds me back. So... thank you for believing in me...”, she said.

“You’re probably the strongest person I’ve ever known. You’re capable of so many things. Some I couldn’t even imagine until somewhat recently.”, he laughed.

“Yeah. Sorry about that by the way.”, she said.

“You were just protecting us and... I understand why you did what you did...”, he said.

“I never asked you... if you were my boss then at Interpol and I did that... would you agree with it or be okay with what I did? Putting our relationship aside.”, she said.

“I... I really don’t know how to answer that.”, he said.

“Would you be mad?”, she asked.

“Did Sean assign you to build a relationship with Doyle?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said.

“But you did it.”, he said.

“Yeah...”, she said.

“I never asked _you_ something either.”, he said.

“You can ask me anything.”, she said.

“Why did you do it? Especially if you didn’t have to. Why?”, he asked.

“I wasn’t planning on it at first when I showed up to meet him the first time. It was just business but then the way he was looking at me, my instinct was to just... flirt with him. I just immediately saw it as an easy way in, I guess.”, she said.

“ _Easy?_ That was _easy_ for you to do? It was _easy_ for you to jump into a relationship with a terrorist?”, he asked.

“No, no, no. That’s not what I said exactly. I didn’t really elaborate. I saw it as an easy way in. To flirt. To get in that way. And then once I did... I was stuck. I had to go through with what I’d started. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do but during part of it, and in the end, I did what I had to to protect that innocent little boy. He deserved better. I made sure he did.”, she said.

“ _That’s_ what I love about you. In the midst of dealing with him and all of that other stuff, you risked everything for that boy. You just- you care so deeply and you’re so passionate about such important things. I’ve always admired that.”, he said.

“It’s just who I am I guess.”, she said.

“Can I ask you one more thing and then I promise I’ll shut up about it and we can try and enjoy the rest of our Christmas.”, he said.

“Sure.”, she said.

“I really hope I don’t trigger anything by asking this so I’m sorry if it does but you’ve seemed to be doing better when it-“, he said.

“Aaron. Just ask me.”, she said.

“Did he... ever hurt you at all? In any way?”, he asked.

“No. He didn’t.”, she said.

“Were you ever afraid he would? I mean you saw what kind of person he was and what he did everyday.”, he said.

“Um... no. No, I guess I wasn’t because although my feelings for him weren’t real... _his_ were. He really cared about me and treated me really well. He was like a totally different person compared to when he was working than when he was at home.”, she said.

“Oh.”, he said.

“But I never felt the same way. Ever. And I know you must’ve been so confused when you found that ring and learned that we were living together but... none of it was real for me. _None of it_.”, she said.

“Okay. I never doubted you for a second by the way. I knew none of it was real. The part I just couldn’t get past was that any of it happened and how I never knew, how I never put it all together with everything you had told me before. I just kept saying, _“How did I not know my girlfriend was a spy?”_ , but Derek however...”, he said, making her laugh.

“Yeah, he told me you almost punched him out a couple times.”, she laughed some more.

“He was disrespecting you... and at that moment when we needed to be focused and not judging... that was it for me. I was just so terrified of what was going to happen to you.”, he said.

“Well, I’m here. I’m not leaving. And... no more secrets... _at all._ I promise that was the only thing I ever really kept from you. But _now_ , there’s nothing I won’t or can’t share with you. There’s nothing I don’t want you to know.”, she said.

“I love you. Thank you for talking about that, opening up. I know that can be a hard topic but you _can_ anytime you need and it’ll never be a bother, okay?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she nodded. “I love you too.”, she said, starting to lean back more but sat up right away and closed her eyes, rolling her lips in.

“What? What is it?”, he asked.

“Just... a little nauseous.”, she said.

“Ohhh. You haven’t had that yet.”, he asked.

“Yeah, well, I am now.”, she said.

“What do you need?”, he asked.

“Mmm nothing right now.”, she said.

“Okay, just let me know.”, he said.

“Daddy!”, Jack said.

“What is it, buddy?”, Hotch asked.

“Look!”, Jack said.

Hotch stood up while helping Emily as well. They walked over to Jack and Rob playing his brand new toy car.

“Oh wow, look at that.”, Hotch said, bending down. “What’s that?”, he asked, pointing to what Rob was holding.

“It’s a remote control. You can make the little car drive all around using it. It takes batteries but I’ll go grab some to put in it right now.”, Rob said, standing up and walking away.

“Make sure you tell Elizabeth and Rob _thank you again_ , okay? It was very nice for them to get you all those presents.”, Hotch said.

“Okay.”, Jack said.

A minute later, Rob came back with the batteries and they got the car working. To test it out, they put Emily’s phone in it and had him drive it across the room to give to her. He drove it back over to him and Hotch and kept playing around with it. While she watched them having fun, Rob stood next to her and watched her. 

“You’re really happy, aren’t you.”, he said.

“Huh?”, she said, bringing her attention to him.

“You’re really happy. Aaron makes you happy. Jack makes you happy. This whole new life you have... you seem happy.”, he said.

“I _am_.”, she said.

“How far along are you?”, he asked.

“Ten weeks.”, she said.

“Oh. Early but close to the second trimester. So you _definitely_ want this.”, he said.

“Yeah, we really do.”, she said.

“Were you guys trying? Was it more of a thing where you don’t want to get married because it doesn’t matter but you still want kids? Or was it... an accident?”, he chuckled.

“It’s pretty complicated. We want to get married but last time we spoke about it, I just wasn’t ready yet. But we decided to start trying at the beginning of next year but it just happened a little early by accident I guess you could say.”, she laughed.

“Does that change your feelings about marriage now? Is there anything different?”, he asked.

“I honestly don’t know. So much has changed this year and now we’re bringing a child into the world... I don’t think you need to be married to have kids and I don’t want him to propose to me just because we’re having a baby now. I told him I want it to be because it feels like the right time for both of us. But I’ve thought about it and I just don’t know.”, she said.

“The reason your mother is so upset is... she was pregnant with you before we got married.”, he said.

“ _What?_ ”, she said.

“We were young, her mother found out and insisted we get married. She was old fashioned in that sense. Very traditional. And don’t get me wrong, I love your mother. And I don’t regret marrying her. But it wasn’t for the right reason at the right time, even though we had a good enough reason. It just wasn’t the reason we _did_ get married. We didn’t want anyone to know so we lied about how far along she was to everyone, except her doctors of course because they would know. She was really early on when we found out so it wasn’t that hard but it wasn’t fun to have to do that.”, he laughed.

“Oh my god!”, she said, starting to crack up.

“Anyways, I think that she sees herself in you and what she didn’t get the opportunity to do. Something along those lines but you go ahead and make all the other inferences. Once again, _you’re_ the profiler. I just gave you the facts.”, he said.

“Does she even realize it?”, she asked.

“I don’t think so...”, he said.

“What do I do with that?”, she asked.

“I don’t know. I just thought you should know that... and... I’m really happy for you guys. If _you’re_ happy, then that’s all that really matters. Don’t listen to what she has to say about it.”, he said.

“Well... she hasn’t even said anything yet.”, she said.

“Let’s just have some dinner now. You need to make sure you’re eating regularly.”, he said.

“Aaron is really good at making sure of that.”, she said.

“Good man. I like him. I didn’t interact with him too much before, when he worked here but... he’s a good man.”, he said.

“He really is.”, she said as he smiled and walked away.

She turned back around and walked over to Jack and Hotch on the ground, still playing with his car. She stepped behind Hotch and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them gently.

“Where’d your father go?”, he asked.

“To get my mother I believe. Dinner should be ready.”, she said right as one of the housekeepers came over with a trash bag to pick up the wrapping paper on the ground.

“Do you think she’s going to come down for dinner?”, he asked.

“Yeah. She’s too _professional_.”, she chuckled. “Thank you, Margaret.”, she said to the housekeeper.

“Of course, and dinner _is_ ready to be served.”, Margaret said.

“You’ve met Aaron before, right?”, Emily asked her.

“He’s part of the reason why I work here, I believe. You did security clearances a long time ago, right?”, Margaret said.

“Yeah. A _long_ time ago. I can’t believe anyone is still here since then.”, he said.

“Mrs. Prentiss is like family to me. I could never bring myself to just quit.”, she said.

“That’s really nice.”, he smiled. “Oh, this is my son, Jack.”, he said.

“Hi.”, Jack waved when he looked up briefly from his toys.

“Hi there.”, she laughed. “He’s adorable.”

“Thank you.”, Hotch said.

“We made an extra meal for him, knowing he might not want the ham and mashed potatoes and vegetables.”, she said.

“Oh wow, thank you. What is it?”, Hotch asked.

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”, she said.

“He _loves_ spaghetti and meatballs. That’s perfect, thank you so much, you really didn’t have to do that.”, he said

“Of course. Well, dinner is ready. I’m sure your mother will be down shortly. Whatever she did or said... just ignore it. You know how she can be. It’s probably nothing you did.”, she said to Emily.

“Thank you.”, Emily laughed.

Margaret walked away and Emily helped Jack put his toys off to the side for the time being. They all walked into what was basically a dining hall and found seats at the unnecessarily long table. One of the housekeepers got a booster seat for Jack before they could even finish pulling out the chairs.

They sat him down in it, Emily taking a seat closest to the head of the table with Jack directly on her left. Hotch moved to be in the chair right next to him on his other side so he was in between Hotch and Emily. 

He leaned his head back behind Jack, motioning for Emily to do the same. When she did that, he reached out and held her hand. 

“It’s okay. We’ll have some dinner, maybe some dessert and then we can leave.”, he said.

“Yeah...”, Emily said, sitting straight forward again once her parents came in and took their seats, Elizabeth at the head and George across the table from Emily also closest to the head. 

They were all silent and waited for the food to be served. Before it was brought out, a housekeeper came out with some water and another with a bottle of wine and started pouring it in everyone’s glass. When the wine got to Emily, she awkwardly put her hand over her glass, letting them know she wouldn’t be having any.

“Jack, do you like apple juice?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Uh huh.”, he said.

“ _Emily?_ ”, Elizabeth said in the most condescending tone Emily thought she’d ever heard. When she realized she was practically mocking her, she gave her a fake smile.

“No, I’m good. I’ll stick to water. Thank you though.”, she said through her teeth.

Elizabeth had the housekeeper bring out some apple juice for Jack and everyone’s food right after. 

During dinner, there were some moments of silence which Hotch and Rob would typically try to break. They’d eventually get everyone talking except for Emily and Elizabeth. They communicated with everyone else at the table except for each other. 

After they had finished dinner, which felt like it couldn’t have gone by any slower, dessert was served. 

“We have a variety of tasty treats. I didn’t know what Jack would like and also everyone else so... we have some Christmas fudge, red velvet cake, gingerbread cookies, French macarons, and tiramisu. Lots of different options. And feel free to have as much of anything you want.”, Rob said, rubbing his hands together, excited. “Oh. And eggnog for the adults. For Jack, if he’s allowed to have a desert _and_ a drink, we have some hot cocoa.”

“Can I have hot cocoa and desserts?”, Jack begged with the puppy dog eyes. 

“Alright, fine. But _only because it’s Christmas_.”, Hotch said. Jack smiled big and bounced a bit in his seat.

“Oh, I’ll take some hot cocoa too.” Emily said. She looked over at Elizabeth and said not quite _to_ her, “I guess I can’t really have eggnog so...”

They glared at each before Hotch brought Emily’s attention to him. “We still have some of that eggnog at home that Sean made that doesn’t have any alcohol.”, Hotch said.

“Oh, okay, good.”, she said. 

Once they had their hot cocoas and eggnog set on the table, Jack went to town on the fudge and cookies. While Emily had some of the macarons and red velvet cake, Hotch got a piece of tiramisu and split the piece of Emily’s cake with her.

Even though Emily was all of a sudden starting to have some cravings, she made sure not to eat too much, knowing the nausea had started as well. At a certain point, Jack went for a third piece of fudge after having three cookies, one of which he had snuck over to his plate somehow. 

“Uh uh. You’ve already had _way_ too much. You’re probably gonna be sick tonight.”, Hotch said, moving the plate of deserts away from Jack. When she saw him frown, Emily stroked the back of his head until he reached for his cup of hot cocoa.

“You know, one time, when Emily was much younger, we went to our lake house and her cousins have one right across the lake. So, we went over there to roast some marshmallows and make s’mores, grilled some hot dogs and burgers. Her aunt makes _the best_ chocolate chip cookies ever. I don’t know how they’re so good, it’s such a simple cookie but they are. And because of that, everybody eats a bunch when she makes them. Especially Emily. I mean, it was wild how much she ate and stayed so thin. But that night, it was even wilder. She had two hot dogs and three s’mores I think... maybe four. As I’m sure you know, Emily is _incredibly_ stubborn so she didn’t listen to anyone when we told her this was a bad idea and just how come. Is she still that stubborn?”, Rob asked.

“One of the most stubborn people I know.” Hotch chuckled.

“As I suspected.”, Rob laughed. “So, someone was talking about how much she can eat for such a tiny human and... well... she also likes a good challenge... so when her oldest cousin said he didn’t believe it, she challenged him to a cookie eating contest. He was- what- six feet tall and played football in college. He was a big guy. But he accepted and everyone just sat around the bonfire, watching them stuff their faces with the cookies. I believe Emily ate seven cookies and her cousin had ten. So technically, he won the total but everyone was chanting for her because ratio wise...”, Rob said, raising his eyes and looking over at Emily. 

“Thanks, dad.”, she laughed shyly and looked down.

“How old were you?”, Hotch laughed.

“Like nine or ten.”, she said.

“That’s impressive. You should _brag_ about that.”, Hotch laughed.

“Just wait...”, she said.

“Well... later that night, she woke up... _throwing up_. And of course she comes to wake us up and Elizabeth can’t stand that type of mess so I had to take the sheets off and clean them and put new ones on.”, Rob said.

“Story of my life. Succeeding and ignoring what others say only to have it backfire and watch my life crumble later.”, she said with a sarcastic smile. “Kidding.”, she said after a silent moment, laughing it off even though Hotch knew she wasn’t completely joking. “You know what, we should probably head out soon. Before Jack has a sugar crash.”

“Sure.”, Hotch nodded down.

“Aaron.”, Rob said and waited for Hotch to look at him before he continued. “You play pool?”

“ _Used_ to quite a bit. I haven’t in a while though. Why do you ask?”, Hotch said.

“I’ve got a pool table set up in my study and maybe Jack here would like to learn.”, Rob said.

“That sounds great.”, Hotch said.

When he looked over at Emily, he couldn’t tell if she was angry, worried, or upset by having to stay out there with her mother.

“Good.”, Rob said.

“Em, do you want-“, Hotch started.

“No. Go ahead. Have your guy time.”, she said, trying to smile but he saw tears in her eyes and didn’t know if it was just the hormones or if something was seriously upsetting her to the point of real tears.

After they finished their dessert, Jack and Hotch got up and started following Rob to his study. Before he could walk past the end of the table, Hotch stopped.

“You go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.”, Hotch said to Rob, turning around and walking to Emily. When he made eye contact with Elizabeth, she stood up and walked away, going upstairs to her office.

Hotch reached for Emily’s hand and helped her up. He pulled her in for a hug and held onto her, rubbing her back.

“Mmm that feels nice.”, she hummed softly into his chest.

“What’s going on?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, she said.

“ _Em_.”, he said.

“ _Nothing_ . I just wanna go home but I feel bad because my father has tried so hard tonight and Jack is having fun. And... _you’re_ having a good time.”, she said.

“Not if _you_ aren’t.”, he said.

“Aaron, go play some pool.”, she said, pulling back.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t wanna join us?”, he asked.

“I’m sure.”, she smiled.

“What are you gonna do?”, he asked.

“I’ll think of something. Just... go.”, she said, rubbing his arm.

“Okay. I’ll come check back soon. Just get me if you aren’t feeling well or need to go home.”, he said.

“Alright.”, she said.

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too.”, she said, giving him a kiss. He smiled and reluctantly walked away when she gave him a little shove.

Not able to think of anything to do, she went upstairs and walked down to her old room. When she opened the door and stepped inside, it was overwhelming, seeing how everything looked exactly the same as it did before she moved out for college.

Looking through everything, she lost track of time and eventually heard footsteps coming towards her. She turned around and saw Hotch walking up to her. 

“So this was Emily Prentiss’ room... should I even be in here or are there no boys allowed?”, he chuckled.

“I don’t know... just no closed doors. The parents might freak.”, she lightly laughed and suddenly he heard her sniffle. He walked over to where she was standing by her desk, holding a photo. He put his hand on her back and looked down at the picture.

“Who’s that?”, he asked.

“That’s uh-“, she sniffled again. “That’s me... and John... and... Matthew.”, she said, letting a tear fall on it.

“So you were friends with John.”, he said.

“ _Was_. I wasn’t after...”, she trailed off, wiping away the tear on the photo and setting it back down on her desk.

“I’m sorry, hun.”, he said, wrapping his arm around her.

“Yeah... me too.”, she sighed. “Can we just go now?”

“Of course.”, he nodded, walking her out and closing the door behind them.

They made their way downstairs and walked to the living room to find Rob and Jack, playing with his toy car again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry but I think we’re gonna head out. It’s getting kind of late and we should put Jack to bed soon.”, Emily said.

“That’s alright. I think Jack is coming down from that sugar high now anyways.”, Rob laughed. “Why don’t I help you bring his gifts out to the car.”, he said, picking up the scooter. 

Hotch grabbed the basketball and mini hoop while Jack carried his toy car and remote out to the car once they saw Sean pull up. They packed everything in and got Jack buckled in his seat while Sean got in the back with him.

“She’s really not coming down to say _goodbye_ , is she?”, Emily said.

“She just needs some time. I know it seems unreasonable but... she’ll get there. But for now...”, Rob said, giving her a hug. “I’m here. I’m _excited_. I’m gonna be a grandpa.”, he chuckled. “You need me for anything, I’m here.”

“Thank you.”, she said.

“Aaron, it was a pleasure. Thank you guys for coming. Maybe we can get together soon. _Just us._ ”, Rob said.

“ _Definitely_ . And thank you for _having_ us. Also for the gifts for Jack...”, Hotch said.

“Our pleasure. Alright, drive safe and keep in touch?”, Rob said.

“Yeah, definitely.”, Emily said, getting in the car.

“You know, I actually think I left my phone inside. Mind if I go back in with you?”, Hotch said to Rob.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.”, Rob said.

They walked back inside and Hotch went upstairs to Elizabeth’s office. He opened the door without knocking and waited for her to look up at him before he stepped inside.

“Aaron. What is-“, she started before he took out the box from his pocket. He set it on her desk and she stared at it. “What’s this?”, she asked.

“Open it.”, he said.

She picked it up and opened the top, staring at the ring inside. It took a moment for her eyes to go back up to him but when they did, he could tell how surprised she was. 

“This is-“, she began again.

“I’ve had this ring for almost a year. I’ve been waiting for the right moment and for her to be ready because I knew she would be and I knew this is what I wanted. I’ve been planning on proposing tonight for _months_. And that plan hasn’t changed. I only just yesterday found out we’re having a baby. She’s told me multiple times that if she got pregnant, she wouldn’t want that to be the reason we get married. She also doesn’t want to be a pregnant bride. She wants it to happen on its own time when it feels right. But I feel like it is now and I’m not just proposing to her because she’s pregnant. I’ve been planning this for a while.”, he said. He looked at her but she stayed silent. “Listen, I know you probably hate me now. You think I’m just the guy who got your daughter pregnant before we got married. That this was some accident. But it wasn’t. Not completely at least. We were going to start trying at the new year but this just happened a month or two early and we’re excited. It’s what we wanted. And she could really use your support. We want you in our kid’s life. My father passed away a long time ago and my mother isn’t in the picture. I don’t have any cousins or aunt and uncles I’m in contact with. Our child needs grandparents. She needs more family. Mine wasn’t great so it’s important to me that I give my kid a better one than I had and do whatever it takes to make her happy. And to feel loved. And that includes you.”, he said.

When he finished, she took her glasses off and set the ring down after closing the box. She looked up at him and finally spoke.

“It’s a girl?”, she asked.

“We don’t actually know yet but we’ve been saying that because we really want one.”, he said

“How far along is she?”, she asked

“Ten weeks.”, he said.

“Do you have a picture?”, she asked.

“I do...”, he said, pulling out his phone which he hadn’t really left inside. He opened his camera roll and clicked on a few pictures he’d taken of the ultrasounds photos and handed it to her. 

She put her glasses back on and swiped through the images. She rolled her lips in and he could tell she was actually getting emotional.

“A granddaughter _would_ be nice.”, she said quietly and handed him his phone back. They looked at each other and he felt he was almost there. Almost getting through to her. Almost had her change her mind and decide to be supportive. “Can you send me those?”

“Yeah... I _can_.”, he nodded. “You know, she’s just down in the car right now and I think it would really mean a lot if you just...”, he said.

“I don’t- I don’t think tonight, right now, is the best time... I’m happy for you both... I just need to uh- I’ll call. We’ll get together soon.”, she said.

Knowing that was the best he was going to get for the night, he grabbed the box and stuck it in his pocket again. “Thank you for having us tonight and for Jack’s presents. He’s already loving them.”, he said.

“I’m glad. He’s a sweet boy. If you guys ever need any help with anything...”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he nodded down and walked out. He went back to the car and got in the drivers seat.

“Did you find your phone? You were in there a while.”, she said.

“Yeah. I got it.”, he said.

“Good. Now let’s go home.”, she sighed, leaning back in her seat and resting her eyes as he started the car and drove off. 

Once they got home, Emily carried Jack upstairs and inside while Sean helped Hotch bring the gifts inside.

They set everything down and helped Jack change and get ready for bed since he was so tired. Once they tucked him in, Emily and Hotch went in their room and when she went for pajama pants, Hotch took them from her and handed her sweats.

“I’m just fine with the pajama pants I chose. It’s not super cold in here.”, she said, trying to grab them back from him. “What gives?”, she said impatient.

“Put these on and grab a sweatshirt or hoodie.”, he said, changing into his own.

“Why?”, she asked.

“We’re going out.”, he said.

“Aaron, do you know how late it is?”, she asked.

“10:00.”, he said.

“Seriously? I thought it was like midnight.”, she said.

“Get changed.”, he said.

“Where are we going?”, she asked. 

“Just get changed and I’ll be right back.”, he said, walking out the door. 

“You really going to do it tonight?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah. I’m kind of nervous because I really don’t know what she’s going to say but...”, Hotch shrugged and grabbed some blankets and a couple pillows from the closet, along with some candy from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”

He ran down to the car and put the blankets and pillows in the very back, making sure there were enough, with the candy right next to them. He raced back up and walked over to Sean. He pulled out the ring and showed him.

“What do you think?”, Hotch asked.

“It’s really something else, man. You did a good job. I was literally speechless when I saw it in the closet.”, Sean said.

Hotch put it back in his sweats pocket and waited for Emily to come out. When she opened the door, he immediately looked up and smiled at her.

“What?”, she asked.

“Nothing.”, he said. 

“Alright, let’s go.”, she said, barely excited and walked out the front door.

“You sure tonight is the best night for this?”, Sean asked.

“It has to be.”, Hotch said.

“Alright. Well... good luck.”, Sean said.

“Thanks.”, Hotch said, taking a deep breath before walking out the door and meeting Emily in the car.

“Where are we going?”, she asked.

“Do you not like surprises anymore?”, he asked.

“Only when _you’re_ the one behind it.”, she said.

“Well, I’m the one behind this surprise so...”, he said, starting the car and pulling out onto the streets.

“Fine. I’ll roll with it.”, she giggled.

“Someone’s in a better mood all of a sudden.”, he said.

“Just being out of that house and having some space now that we are and being with you... _alone_.”, she smiled and touched his hand.

“Haven’t exactly gotten a bunch of alone time lately.”, he said.

“No. We definitely have not and alone time will soon be non existent.”, she laughed.

“That is definitely true. But I hope tonight is good.”, he said.

“I’m sure whatever you have planned is amazing.”, she said.

“I hope so...”, he said.

Almost an hour later when she noticed they were driving out to the woods, she became confused. “Aaron... you’re not taking me out to the woods to murder me and bury my body, are you?”, she laughed.

“Shut up.”, he said, letting out an even bigger laugh. “We’re almost there.”

A few minutes later, he pulled off a road and stopped. “Okay... we stopped and... there’s nothing here.”, she said.

“Yes. There is. The stars. Way out of the city so the sky is clearer. More stars are visible and quite a few shooting stars.”, he said getting out of the car. He walked to the other side and opened the door for her as she got out. 

Only shivering a little, she leaned against the back of the car with him, looking at the sky. He put his arms around her from behind and attempted to warm her up when he rubbed her arms.

“Okay. You were right. This is really ni- oh! Shooting star!”, she said.

“It is.”, he said, kissing her neck. “Are you feeling any warmer?”

“Being in your arms... _always_.”, she said.

He smiled and rested his forehead against the side of her head for a few minutes until she saw another shooting star. He took a deep breath and stepped in front of her. 

“Emily...”, he said.

“Mmhmm.”, she said.

“I need to tell you something.”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said slightly worried when he paused and took another deep breath.

“I don’t always like making promises because there are so many things in this world that are out of your control and that you can never see coming. Just like falling in love with you... but one thing I _can_ promise is that I will love you and our family for the rest of my life and do anything for all of you. After you left my life the first time when you went off to college, I never thought I’d see you again. Not until you showed up in my office years later, trying to convince me to give you a chance, that you belonged with our team. I don’t think anyone has ever been able to do anything like that with me. You knew how to stand up to me and how to get through to me and it wasn’t just your cute charm. You impressed me, you intrigued me, I felt like I needed you with us. I just didn’t know that I would end up needing you in _my_ life the way you are today. You make me proud of you... and to be perfectly honest... the past few years have been some of the best _and_ worst years of my life. You made them the best and you were there through the worst. You have stuck by my side through so much and have loved me unconditionally. You make me stronger. You make me better. You’re my best friend. And as cheesy as you always say this is whenever I tell you... I truly believe we were meant to be... you warm my heart and I’m so unbelievably in love with you and everything about you. Like how you make the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had and the way you get Jack to eat his fruit when no one else can. The way you sleep like a cartoon character sometimes and your snoring that wakes me up but doesn’t bother me anymore because it’s just so cute and I can always fall back asleep. The way you get so competitive when doing a puzzle but it’s okay because you’re so good at them and still let me help out with the border... sometimes. Your love for 50’s music and old movies. Your laugh that’s incredibly contagious, especially when I kiss you behind your ear and how you always find a way to make me feel better even if you’re the reason I’m upset. How you always let Jack cuddle with you if he had a bad dream and care for him everyday. The way you’re comfortable being yourself with me and have taught me to do the same. How you make me feel every time we make love and rest your head on my chest after, falling asleep in my arms, making me realize that there’s no place in the world I’d rather be than with you by my side... everyday. I love the way you care for your friends and never give up on trying to help them when they need it. I love the way that you never take _no_ for an answer and although you’re the most stubborn person I know, it’s still one of my favorite things about you _because_ you’re passionate. You never stop. You always keep going. And you give it your all because you’re so strong. You’re so brave and you’ve experienced so much. You never let anything hold you down or stop you from doing what’s important whether it’s for yourself or somebody else. You’re the most selfless person I know. You’ve given me so much in life. Including our baby. You make me feel so lucky everyday just to have you in my life at all. To let me love you and to receive your love... is privilege. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t trade any of this for anything. I finally feel like everything has fallen into place and everything is how it’s supposed to be and I’m more than okay with what that is. After letting you go for the first time since you’d come back into my life... I don’t know if I’d ever felt more pain in my whole life. There’d always been a piece of me missing until I got you back. I don’t ever want to lose you or let you go. Ever again. I want you by my side forever... I’m not gonna get down on one knee... and not just because I’d have a hard time getting up. But I _love you,_ Emily and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And Jack and our baby. You guys are my whole world and I’ll do anything to protect you and make sure you’re happy and loved every single day.”, he said and pulled out the box from his pocket. He opened the top of it revealing the ring and saw Emily tearing up. “So would you just marry me already?”

She rolled her lips in and let a tear fall down her cheek, trying to speak but couldn’t get out any words. After staring at him for a moment, speechless, she nodded with a big smile, crying a little more but this time, they were happy tears. After a few seconds, she finally found a way to speak.

“Yes.”, she said.

“Yes?”, he said with a grin.

“ _Yes. Of course._ ”, she said as he took the ring out and put it on her finger. 

She immediately grabbed his face and crashed her lips onto his. They broke the kiss after a minute when they both smiled and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her tight and kissed the side of her head.

“I love you so much, Em.”, he whispered in her ear.

“I love you too.”, she sniffled.

After holding each other for a few minutes, she pulled back and put her hands on his face, holding it. He held her sides right above her hips and looked deep in her eyes.

“I want you to know that I’m not just doing this because we’re having a baby and it makes sense to. I got this ring almost a year ago. I’ve been holding onto it this whole time and a few months ago, I started thinking of how to do it. But I thought it would be nice to do it on Christmas.”, he said.

“I still don’t want to be a pregnant bride.”, she said.

“That’s fine. We can wait until after the baby comes. I just couldn’t stand another day of not calling you at least my fiancé.”, he said.

“I like the way it sounds.”, she said.

“Did you look at the ring?”, he asked.

“It’s kind of hard to see in the dark especially when there were so many tears built up in my eyes.”, she laughed.

“Well, come look at it in the light.”, he said, taking her hand and opening the trunk of the car. He pushed the seats back and she helped him lay out the blankets and pillows before getting in. 

“This is just like our first real date. At the drive-in for my birthday.”, she said.

“I like to think of the art gallery as our first real date. The night of the drive-in didn’t end so well.”, he said.

“But it was really great while it lasted. And you had blankets and pillows set up just like this except we also had snacks and drinks that time. _And_ a movie.”, she said.

“This time it’s a view of the _stars_ and I brought red vines just like last time and peanut m&m’s, your favorite. I got _some_ of it right.”, he said, reaching for them on the side and holding them up, both taking their shoes off afterwards to get more comfortable.

“This is one more reason why I love you.”, she said, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Can you look at the ring already? I want to make sure it’s perfect.”, he said.

She turned on the light in the car in the back but realized it wasn’t bright enough so Hotch pulled his phone out and shined the flashlight on it.

“So?”, he said.

“It _is_ perfect. It’s _beautiful_.”, she said, tearing up again.

“It’s from Tiffany’s.”, he said.

“ _You went to Tiffany’s?_ ”, she asked.

“I saw it and I knew it was perfect. Or at least believed it was and I guess I was right. Tiffany Harmony Round Brilliant engagement ring with a diamond platinum band. One carat...”, he said.

“It’s amazing. Definitely my style. Not too big, not too small. You did good. You did _perfect_ .”, she smiled, looking at it while his eyes were fixed on _her_. Right after she said that, she started crying even more.

“ _Honey_... come here...”, he said, scooting them back in the car. He sat behind her and pulled her closer, having her lean against him as he stroked her hair.

“I’m sorry... it’s just the hormones.”, she cried.

“It’s okay, hun.”, he chuckled and gave her head a kiss.

“It’s just a lot.”, she said.

“I- I’m sorry... if you’re not ready, I can take it back or-“, he started before she turned around and grabbed his face, cutting him off with her lips.

“Don’t you _dare_ take _anything_ back. Not your words, not your actions, and _not_ this ring... I love it. It’s just all kind of a lot. The past few days... finding out I’m pregnant, being mad at you during that fight, disappointing my mother, now getting _engaged_ ... it’s just _a lot_ to take in.”, she said, letting out a huge breath.

He took her hand and held it up, looking at the ring again. “It looks _beautiful_ on you.”, he said.

“Thank you... For _everything_.”, she said.

“You’re my girlf- sorry... _fiancé_ . I’d do _anything_ for you...”, he said, beginning to kiss her neck.

“Mmmmm.”, she hummed and turned her neck slightly, allowing him more access. 

“Thank _you_...”, he said, pausing and leaning the side of his head against hers while his arms were wrapped around her.

“For what?”, she asked.

“For loving me and staying.”, he said.

“You’re the love of my life, Aaron. I couldn’t bring myself to leave even if I wanted to. We promised... _no running_.”, she clung onto him.

“Damn... _you’re the love of my life_ . That should’ve been in my long speech. I _was_ the one who said that to you first after all.”, he said.

“I _know_ you mean and you feel that even when you don’t say it. Same thing goes for so many other things and it’s because we _know_ each other. Deep down to our core... I know you and I love you.”, she said.

He smiled to himself and turned the car light off, continuing to hold her while they watched the shooting stars go by and try to identify all the constellations. After a bit, when she started shivering he pulled the blanket up to cover them more while she opened the bag of m&m’s and red vines.

They snacked on the candies for a while and eventually, he set his bag down, taking hers as well and putting it off to the side. He moved her hair to the side and began kissing her neck softly.

“Turn around.”, he whispered, gently turning her face to him. He smiled when their eyes met and they looked down to each other’s lips before back up to their eyes.

“You’re doing it again.”, she said.

“Doing what?”, he asked.

“The super dreamy look.”, she said.

“I’m not trying to. This is just how I look at you.”, he chuckled.

She turned her whole body to face him and smiled as she placed her hand on his face. She leaned forward and brought her lips to his.

“I think there’s another reason you put blankets and pillows back here.”, she smirked.

He looked down, almost shy, and chuckled. “There might’ve been.”

“So are you gonna close the trunk so I can take your clothes off?”, she asked.

He stared at her for a minute before slowly going over to the edge of the trunk and pulling it down. He turned around and took his shirt off with his sweater before going back over to Emily. He stood up on his knees while she stayed sitting down, looking up at him.

He took both hands and brushed her hair out of her face, holding it on both sides, staring deep in her eyes. She held onto his arms and lightly pulled him down until their lips met.

Before she laid down, she took her sweater off. Pulling him down with her, he got on top and she bit her lip, running her hands all the way up from his abs to his chest. She stopped at his heart, feeling it beat, bringing her a form of comfort and safety. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath when he placed his hand on top of hers.

“I’m still alive, Em.”, he chuckled.

“I know. I just need to remind myself sometimes. That you’re really here. That this is all really happening. Sometimes everything seems too good to be true. Tonight was perfect for a breath of fresh air. Sometimes you just need it. What was that that you told me the night we went to the diner in L.A. when we got in the car? You stopped to take a moment. You said that sometimes it was important to take a moment and stop, breathe, remember where you are, feel yourself in the present.”, she said. 

“I _did_ say that, huh.”, he said.

“Yeah, but you don’t do it much anymore.”, she said.

“ _You’re_ my breath of fresh air. _You_ help me take a moment and stop. _You_ help me breathe. _You_ help me remember where I am and _you_ help me feel myself in the present. Being with you reminds me of all those. You keep me going.”, he said.

She smiled and wrapped her arm over his shoulder and around his neck with her other hand on his face as she moved his face closer until their lips met. 

He eventually went for her shirt and pants after she reached for his and slid them down. He went for her bra right after, being so ready, also making sure he got to her underwear and his boxers soon after so they could warm up which she seemed eager to do as well. 

She pulled him down even more, keeping him close, knowing he was always warmer than her. He lined himself up and slid in, making her gasp and bite her lip.

He began slow and mainly kept it that way, both of them feeling more connected in some way than they ever had. They could only assume that it was because so many things were official finally. They had always been committed but suddenly, actually having a baby and having a ring, felt more real and set. 

Her putting her arms around his back, one hand running through his hair and gripping it, made the passion more intense. Him kissing her neck and lightly sucking on it, added on.

He ran his hand down her leg, feeling just how soft and smooth they were, almost pulling it around his waist but decided not to. When he moved his lips to behind her ear, she giggled quietly just like he knew she would. He kissed it again before moving to her lips. Parting their lips, allowing their tongues to move in rhythm with each other’s.

When he hit a certain spot, her nails dug into his back and she breathed heavy, separating her mouth from his. He touched their foreheads together and stared deep into each other’s eyes. 

“I love you so much.”, she said.

“Ah god, I love you too, babe. _So much_. More than you’ll ever know.”, he said.

“Fuck.”, she gasped. “Right there.”

“I’m so close.”, he said.

“Oh _god, Aaron_.”, she moaned.

“ _Emily_.”, he breathed.

“I’m gonna- ah shit.”, she started breathing heavier.

“Let go. I’m right behind you.”, he whispered in her ear. 

When she finally did, she grabbed onto him tight, him following right after. He dropped his head over her shoulder and buried his face in her neck, breathing hard. She held his head in place and rubbed the back of his neck, both slowing their heart rates when catching their breath. 

He eventually rolled over, off of her and pulled the blankets up, covering them. He brought his arm up over her head, allowing her to scoot up against him. She nuzzled into him and laid her hand on his chest, resting her head on his shoulder against his neck. He brought his arm down and held her head, giving it a kiss before holding her close by wrapping it around her.

“Well, the windows are all fogged up now.”, she said.

Hotch reached his hand up and started drawing on the window fogged up. When he lowered his hand, Emily covered her face, trying not to laugh, turning it into his neck. She looked back and rested her hand on his chest again. 

“How old _are_ you?”, she laughed. “E+A?”

“With a heart. Because I love you.”, he laughed.

“God, I feel like we’re back in high school carving that into some tree or writing it in a notebook.”, she said.

“Well, if we were in high school, I wouldn’t be able to say I just had sex with my _fiancé_.”, he said.

“No. No, you wouldn’t.”, she smiled and placed her hand on his face. 

“And...”, he said, giving her a kiss. “I wouldn’t be able to say I just kissed my fiancé or how in love with my fiancé I am. How beautiful she is. How happy she makes me. How-“, he said.

“Alright, I get it.”, she giggled.

“I’m glad I finally get to though.”, he said.

“Me too.”, she said, stroking the side of his face, holding it still and nuzzled her nose against his. “I love you.”, she said against his lips.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?”, he said, running his fingers along her upper back.

She smiled and closed her eyes, quietly laughing. “Tell me.”, she said, opening them again.

“Oh my god.”, he said.

“What?”, she asked.

“I totally forgot. I got a little too wrapped up in proposing and all.”, he laughed. “Part of the reason I wanted to take you out here to see the stars is because I bought you a star. Well, named it, I-“, he said.

“You bought me a star?”, she asked, tearing up. 

“ _Yeah_.”, he said, softly. 

“I _love_ that. _That’s_ probably my best gift yet.”, she said, sniffling.

“I can’t believe I forgot.”, he said.

“ _Thank you_.”, she said, giving him a kiss.

“Merry Christmas, hun.”, he whispered.

* * *

**i had a lot of fun writing this chapter as well and i'm just really excited to be doing a lot of happy stuff because they definitely deserve it at this point but of course there will still be conflicts that come up but nothing too major for a while. thank you guys again. please leave reviews even if you're a guest. much appreciated :)**   
  



	90. House Hunting and JJ's Wedding

**Chapter 90**

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Over the next six weeks, Emily and Hotch had adjusted to all the changes occurring in their life. Ever since they found out the pregnancy and gotten engaged they started looking around for houses. Being so busy with work and all, they never had much time to go to open houses but _had_ spent a few weekends doing so. 

Emily hung out with JJ the day after Christmas and immediately showed her the ring. She considered telling her about the baby but still wanted to keep it a secret until the second trimester. She knew JJ would be the very first person she would tell though when she could.

However, right before the 13 week point came, JJ began more wedding planning and needed Emily’s help. She felt it was unfair to tell everyone just yet, not wanting to steal her thunder. Also figuring it wouldn’t be the worst thing to wait just a little bit longer to be even more safe. 

Hotch had told Carson, knowing he was like family and didn’t know JJ well enough to have the attention taken away from her. Emily tried reaching out to Elizabeth again but she never returned any of her calls, upsetting her even more. Hotch constantly fought the urge to drive to her house and talk to her after seeing how it was affecting Emily. Although they weren’t speaking to her mother, they’d gotten together with her father a few times and even had him over to their place for dinner one night. 

Coming up with reasons why Emily wasn’t going out in the field wasn’t as difficult as they predicted it would be. They hadn’t had any big cases handed to them in that time and she mainly volunteered or was assigned to do the not so dangerous tasks anyways. 

As much as she missed the high speed car chases and arrests, staying at the stations, going to the M.E. 's, visiting crime scenes, and speaking to victim’s families seemed doable until after she had the baby. Hotch only _occasionally_ allowed her to question unsubs but there were times when he just wouldn’t, fearing it could be too dangerous or she may get too emotional because of her hormones. In _that_ sense, she typically agreed, knowing how out of control her emotions were and didn’t even trust _herself_ half the time.

No one had seemed to ask any questions or notice anything different about her. Her nausea hadn’t been horrible, so she wasn’t constantly running to the bathroom. Nothing else seemed to be noticeable other than her mood swings and frequent trips to the bathroom but not to get sick. Being worried others may notice her need for a larger bra size, she tried to not wear very many low cut tops. She even began wearing less tight ones since her bump was _starting_ to show. Although it wasn’t extremely noticeable, she could see it a little if she wore something snug.

Since Emily had spent most of her free time helping plan JJ’s wedding even more, it reduced her availability for any planning of her own with Hotch. He wanted to make sure they could look at more houses and do more prepping for the baby whenever they could but knew that time was hard to come by. 

With JJ’s wedding happening on Sunday, they all decided to throw her a form of a bachelorette party they knew _she_ would like. Not having too many girlfriends, they had it just be the team, getting together at Rossi’s on Friday night. After staying late at work on Thursday night, working on details for the party, Emily was exhausted when she got home. 

The next morning, she had her 16 week appointment at the OBGYN and if she hadn’t been so tired, she wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night, being too excited. 

Right as the alarm went off, she sat up right away and silenced it. Hotch still laying down, half asleep, she shook him.

“Get up!”, she said.

“Mmmmm.”, he grumbled.

“Do you or do you _not_ want to find out the sex of our baby today?”, she said.

“I’m up!”, he said, sitting right up with his eyes still closed.

“Well, get dressed and we’ll go!”, she said, hopping out of bed. She went around to his side and put her hands on his face, seeing that his eyes were still closed. “Aaron, open your eyes and let’s go.”

He squinted and rubbed them before opening them and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, hun. I’m just so tired. Driving to and from New York last night was exhausting after work.”, he said.

“It wasn’t a whole day of work.”, she said.

“Yeah but still. I had to drive _to_ work and _work_ . Then I had to drive to Jack’s school to pick him up _then_ home to grab his stuff, _then_ New York and _then_ back home. All in one day.”, he said.

“Well... how’d you sleep?”, she asked.

“Very well, just not enough.”, he said, yawning before he placed both hands on her stomach and kissed it. “How did _you two_ sleep?”

“I wouldn’t have slept at all, being too excited for this morning, if I hadn’t been so exhausted from last night.”, she said.

“What time did you get home? You were quiet. You didn’t even wake me.”, he said.

“Ummm...”, she said, pretending to think.

“ _Emily_. What time did you get home?”, he asked.

“I honestly don’t remember.”, she said.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying.”, he said.

“Fine. I got home a little after midnight...”, she said.

“ _Honey,_ you know you need more sleep than that right now.”, he said.

“I got good sleep. _We_ got good sleep.”, she said.

“Not enough. And we’re gonna be out late tonight for JJ’s party. You’re sleeping in tomorrow.”, he said.

“Yes, sir.”, she said.

“I mean it, Emily. You have to make sure you’re staying healthy and well rested right now. I’m sure Dr. Anderson will agree with me today.”, he said.

“So do you.”, she said.

“I know. I’m working on it.”, he said.

“And so am _I_.”, she said.

He sighed before bringing his face close to her stomach. “Your mother is very stubborn. But I know _you’ll_ listen to me better.”, he said.

“Thank you for that.”, she said, sarcastically.

He stood up and held her arms, giving her a quick kiss before letting go and walking to the dresser.

“Let’s go find out the sex of our baby.”, he said.

After they got dressed, they drove to the doctor’s office and sat in the waiting area.

“We should have stopped for coffee on the way.”, she said, stroking his hair.

“What? No. I’m good. I’m awake. I promise.”, he said, sitting up straight and taking her hand.

“You’re exhausted.”, she said.

“I’m fine. I’m alert. I’m good.”, he said.

“I’ll drive on the way home and we’ll make some coffee before work.”, she said.

“I’m _fine,_ Em.”, he said.

“ _I’m driving._ ”, she said. 

“Fine. Whatever.”, he said.

“I’m not the _only_ stubborn one.”, she said.

“You’re more stubborn than _me_.”, he said.

“Maybe, but stop telling our child that.”, she said.

“Alright. Fine.”, he said.

While they sat there for a few more minutes, waiting, they both started getting anxious but in the best possible way which Emily had been feeling a lot lately. When the doctor came out to get them, Emily sat right up, pulling Hotch up with her. They walked back to a room and Emily sat on the exam table pulled up into a chair position, leaned back a bit. While Hotch stood by her side, the doctor wheeled the computer and monitor over.

“How have the past couple weeks been since I’ve seen you last?”, Dr. Anderson asked.

“They’ve been fine. I have to pee a lot more and buy a few new bras but other than that...”, Emily said.

“No nausea, vomiting, fatigue, mood swings, heartburn, constipa-“, Dr. Anderson said.

“No. No, no.”, Emily laughed. “Nausea has gone away, same with fatigue. Mood swings are still there but no heartburn or anything else really.”, she said as Dr. Anderson got out the gel and ultrasound transducer, putting it on once Emily lifted her shirt and moving it around. 

“Good.”, Dr. Anderson said.

“You _do_ have that pregnancy glow though.”, Hotch said.

“Shut up. You’re just trying to make up for calling me stubborn earlier.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, alright but it’s true. Your skin is radiant.”, he said, kissing her cheek. “You just look extra beautiful. I can’t explain it.”

“Any new plans for the wedding?”, Dr. Anderson asked.

“No, not worrying about that for a little. But our other friend is getting married this weekend so we’ve been planning for _that_.”, Emily said.

“She doesn’t want a big wedding though.”, he said.

“Yeah, because we don’t need one. It’s just not my style. I’d be fine going to city hall but I know you want something more than that so we can have some ceremony in our backyard or Dave’s because it’s really nice. I’ll put on a white dress and walk down the aisle. But it’s not going to be too fancy or big and poofy. No veil, only close friends and immediate family, and no bridesmaids. Maybe a maid of honor but it’ll be simple and small.”, she said.

“See. Like I said. _Stubborn_.”, he said, making the doctor laugh.

“Alright, everything looks good. Your baby looks completely healthy. It’s about the size of an avocado. Oh, strong heartbeat...”, she said, turning the sound on for it, letting them hear. They squeezed each other’s hands tight, listening to their baby’s heartbeat and waiting for her to continue. “And were you wanting to know the sex today?”

“ _You’re able to tell today? For sure?_ ”, Emily asked.

“Mhm. Would you like to know?”, Dr. Anderson asked.

“ _Yes. Very much_.”, Hotch said.

“Oh god. What if it’s a boy and we’ve been saying _she_ and _her_ this whole time?”, Emily said.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that. You’re having a girl.”, Dr. Anderson said.

“ _We are?!_ ”, Emily said.

“Definitely.”, Dr. Anderson said.

“We’re having a girl!”, Emily said, looking at Hotch, squeezing his hand more.

“ _We’re having a girl_.”, Hotch grinned, kissing her hand and holding it to his chest.

“I take it, you’ll want some pictures.”, Dr. Anderson said.

“Of course.”, Emily said, starting to cry.

“I’m definitely wide awake now.”, Hotch said.

“Good. Can you drive because I don’t know how long I’ll be crying for.”, Emily said.

“Yes, of course.”, he said, kissing her head. 

As the doctor gathered the images for them, Emily wiped off her stomach and Hotch helped her sit up. They took the pictures and thanked the doctor before walking out and making an appointment for the 20 week mark.

They walked out and when they got back to their car, they stopped. They turned to each other and immediately wrapped their arms around each other tight.

“We’re having a girl!”, she said.

“I know! Thank god.”, he sighed. “We’ve been calling her the right thing.”, he laughed.

“There’s so many more cute girl clothes than boy clothes.”, she said.

“That’s true. Do you wanna go to a baby store soon and get some outfits now that we finally know?”, he asked.

“Maybe when we move into the new house. We can get her room painted and everything decorated and ready for her, _including_ some outfits.”, she said.

“Well, we’re going to have her sleep in our room for a little bit after she’s born.”, he said.

“How long?”, she asked.

“Like... six to twelve months.”, he said.

“ _Six to twelve months?!_ ”, she said.

“Yeah. It reduces the risk of SIDS and it’s good for her to be close to her parents.”, he said.

“Wow... I didn’t know that...”, she said.

“It’s okay. You do _now_.”, he said.

“No... I don’t know anything about having a baby... like... _anything_... what if I’m a terrible mom? What if I can’t do this? I-“, she said.

“ _Honey,_ calm down. Nobody ever knows anything about having a baby until they have one. You can read all the books in the world but nothing will prepare you for when it actually comes. I’ve had one already. I know what to expect but every kid is different. We’ll do some reading but some of it, we’ll just take as it comes. Okay?”, he said, rubbing her arms and looking in her eyes, waiting for her to nod.

“But-“, she started.

“You’ve got this. _We’ve_... got this.”, he said.

“Yeah... Yeah, okay.”, she nodded.

He put his hand on her cheek and held her face, kissing her forehead. “Hey. Now we can start thinking about more names.”, he said.

“I have a few in mind.”, she said, quietly and smiled, looking back up at him.

“Let’s talk about them more tonight, yeah?”, he said.

“Okay.”, she nodded.

“Alright, let’s go home and get ready for work.”, he said.

“It’s gonna be so hard to act normal at work.”, she said, getting in the car.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna tell everyone?”, he asked.

“I’m sure. I just have to wait a few more days until after the wedding. I am _not_ going to steal JJ’s thunder like that or take any attention away from her. This is _her_ weekend. We’ll tell everyone about the baby _and_ the engagement after. I promise. I want to just as much as you do. Especially because I hate having to find excuses for not going out in the field. I haven’t even pulled my gun or taken out my handcuffs for _weeks_.”, she said as he started the car and headed home.

“You’re being safe. It’s not just _your_ life we’re taking into consideration anymore.”, he said.

“I know. I just miss all the action and being _with_ you guys out there.”, she said.

“You’ll be back after she’s born.”, he said.

“Doesn’t it feel good to say _she_ , finally knowing it’s really a girl?”, she asked.

“It really does.”, he said.

Once they got home and got ready for work, Emily made sure to take her ring off and set it down before they left. 

When they arrived, Emily set her things down at her desk and got to work while Hotch did the same. After a few hours, she went up to JJ’s office to check in with her and make sure their plan was still on for that night.

“Hey.”, Emily said, knocking on her door.

“Hey, come on in.”, JJ said.

“Just checking to make sure we’re still on for tonight and the time is still good.”, Emily said.

“Yep. Still good.”, JJ said.

“Great.”, Emily nodded and stood there. She wanted to tell JJ the news so badly but her wedding was two days away. She couldn’t stop smiling and tried to hide it but failed. 

“Anything else?”, JJ asked.

Emily opened her mouth but shut it right after, not knowing how to answer. JJ got up and walked over to the door, closing it before she went back to the front of her desk and leaned against it. She crossed her arms and faced Emily.

“What?”, Emily said.

“That’s a nice top. Is it new?”, JJ asked, straightforward with no emotion.

“It is, yeah... thanks...”, Emily said.

“Not really your style.”, JJ said, hinting at something.

“It’s not _not_ my style.”, Emily said.

“Oh, come on, Emily.”, JJ said.

“What?”, Emily said, confused but knowing JJ probably knew.

“How far along are you?”, JJ asked.

“ _What?_ ”, Emily said, somewhat shocked, mainly just that JJ said something but not so much that she knew.

“ _Em. I know you. How far along are you?_ ”, JJ asked again.

It took Emily a few seconds to process it all but once she did, a slow smile spread across her face. 

“16 weeks...”, Emily said.

“Do you know? Boy or girl?”, JJ asked.

“Girl. We just found out this morning.”, Emily said.

They stood there, staring at each other for a moment before JJ stood up straight and took a few steps forward. She stayed still, worrying Emily that she might be mad but instead, she grabbed her and pulled her in tight for a hug.

“ _Congratulations!_ ”, JJ said, feeling Emily hug her back.

“Thanks.”, Emily said, tearing up.

“God, why didn’t you just tell me?!”, JJ said, pulling back.

“ _I’m sorry!_ We didn’t wanna tell anyone until the second trimester and by then, we started with the wedding plans and I didn’t wanna take away from any of that. This time should be about _you_. There’s plenty of time to focus on me and all this after your wedding.”, Emily said.

“ _Emily!_ You’re having a baby! I don’t care if I’m getting married. You _tell me_ if you’re pregnant. You just- you have to tell me that from now on!”, JJ said.

“From now on?”, Emily laughed.

“Well, I guess not. Unless you’re planning on having another.”, JJ said.

“We’re considering one more after this but it’s just an idea. It’s just a nice thought of having three kids but I wouldn’t say we’re planning that. This one hasn’t even come out yet.”, Emily laughed.

“Do you have a bump at all? You’ve been wearing somewhat baggy shirts lately.”, JJ said.

“Very small. It would be a little noticeable if I wore something tight.”, Emily said.

“Ahh.”, JJ nodded. “Lemme see the pictures.”

“The pictures?”, Emily asked.

“From your ultrasound today.”, JJ said.

“What makes you think I have those with me at work?”, Emily asked.

“Because you just got them and you’re gonna wanna look at them throughout the day. It’s exciting! Also, you didn’t deny it.”, JJ said.

“They’re in my bag.”, Emily said.

“Well, go get them!”, JJ said.

“Alright, alright.”, Emily said, walking out of her office. She ran down to her bag to grab the pictures and brought them back up, closing the door behind her.

“Show me, show me, show me.”, JJ said, sitting down in one of the seats in front of her desk with Emily in the one next to it.

“Here.”, Emily said, laying them out on the desk in front of them.

“Oh my god. She looks more real now. They usually start to, around now and 20 weeks. Wow...”, JJ said.

“I know. Even more than two weeks ago. She’s really growing.”, Emily said.

“Aaron must be _so happy_. I mean, this is all he’s wanted for the past couple years, right?”, JJ said.

“He’s _ecstatic_ . He’s seriously _so excited_. It’s great.”, Emily smiled.

“Were you guys trying or...”, JJ asked.

“We weren’t yet. We were going to start at the new year but it just happened a little early I guess. And I guess he had the ring for like a year and was planning on proposing Christmas night for a while. So he says he wasn’t just proposing because he found out I was pregnant.”, Emily said.

“Do you believe him? You don’t sound like you do.”, JJ said.

“No, no! I _do!_ When he was proposing, it was hard for me to tell if that’s why but then he told me how long he had the ring and his plan and everything so, yes. I _do_ believe him.”, Emily said.

“How’s Jack with all of this?”, JJ asked.

“He’s...”, Emily laughed, “... understanding some of it. Not quite all but I think he gets that there’s a baby in my belly and that he’s going to be a big brother but that’s about it.”

“Wow... he’s going to be a big brother. How’s _Haley_ doing with it?”, JJ asked.

“Um... we haven’t exactly told her yet.”, Emily said.

“ _You haven’t told her yet?_ ”, JJ asked.

“We’re going to when we pick up Jack from her place on Monday, I think.”, Emily said.

“Does _Jessica_ know?”, JJ asked.

“No. We wanted to wait to tell her until _Haley_ knows.”, Emily said.

“ _Emily_...”, JJ said.

“Alright, don’t judge me. We are going to tell them in a few days.”, Emily said.

“I’m surprised Jack hasn’t yet.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, me too. Wait, so, how did you know?”, Emily asked.

“You’ve been acting weird, very moody, going to the bathroom a lot, and not to mention, your boobs have already gotten bigger and you’ve got the glow.”, JJ said.

“Aaron said that too. The glow part. Not the boobs, although he’s definitely noticed that as well.”, Emily laughed.

“It’s true. You’ve got that pregnancy glow.”, JJ said.

“You think?”, Emily asked.

“Yes, very much.”, JJ smiled.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to take away from any part of everything this weekend. This whole time is about _you_. We’ll tell everyone after.”, Emily said.

“I don’t care if you do now.”, JJ said.

“We’ve waited this whole time, we can wait three more days.”, Emily said.

“Fine.”, JJ rolled her eyes. “So, do you have any names picked out?”

“We had some gender neutral ones which I still like but I think we’re going to talk about some more girl names tonight. We’re just so excited.”, Emily said.

“Who else knows?”, JJ asked.

“Sean, Jack, Carson, and my parents.”, Emily said.

“How did your _parents_ take it?”, JJ asked.

“My father can’t wait to be a grandpa. My _mother_ though... she hasn’t spoken a word to me since I said I was pregnant.”, Emily said.

“Seriously?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah... but we’ve gotten together with my father quite a few times and he loves Aaron so that’s good. He also loves playing with Jack.”, Emily said.

“Are you guys getting a house finally?”, JJ asked.

“We’ve gone out to look a few times and looked online for listings but haven’t seen much of anything we really love yet. It’s hard to find time to go.”, Emily said. 

“Oh my god, wait... these are our last months with Aaron here as Unit Chief.”, JJ said.

“Yeah... He’s looking forward to retiring though. Early.”, Emily said.

“Does Strauss know?”, JJ asked.

“No, she doesn’t know anything. We were gonna talk to her after we talk to everyone else.”, Emily said.

“How is _she_ gonna feel about him retiring?”, JJ asked.

“She’ll try to offer him some deal, I’m sure, but he won’t take it. He’s too set on not working anymore and staying home with the kids.”, Emily said.

“That’s really cute. But you know... Will is going back to work eventually. He’s thinking of maybe when Henry starts kindergarten. Are you sure that Aaron won’t either?”, JJ asked.

“If he did, it would probably be fine... maybe. I don’t know... but I really don’t think he wants to.”, Emily said.

“Regardless... I’m really happy for you.”, JJ said, hugging her again. “Between the two of you, she’s gonna have great hair.”

“I hope she gets his eyes. And definitely not my nose. As much as Aaron says how cute it is... it’s not a nose I would wish to be passed along to my child.”, Emily laughed.

“She’ll have all the great qualities from _both_ of you.”, JJ said.

“I hope so.”, Emily said, looking at the pictures again.

“She’s so cute, it looks like she’s sucking her thumb here.”, JJ said.

“ _Yeah_.”, Emily smiled.

“Go tell him you told me. And bring these with you. I know he’s probably dying to look at them again.”, JJ said, handing her the pictures.

“ _Thank you._ And don’t worry, we are still on for tonight. We’re all gonna have a good time and then tomorrow is all about prep. I’m staying with you tomorrow night in the hotel room while Will is going to be on the other side of it or another floor. So tonight is all about getting a little wild because tomorrow night you have to make sure you’re good for the next day. No hangover on the wedding day allowed, alright?”, Emily said.

“Got it.”, JJ said.

“Good.”, Emily said, giving her a hug before heading out. She stopped and turned to face JJ. “I don’t know if I say this enough but... I’m so grateful for having you in my life.”

“Me too.”, JJ said.

They both smiled and Emily walked out the door, heading to Hotch’s office. She knocked on the door and walked in, closing it behind her.

“What is it?”, he asked, irritated, not looking up.

“ _Excuse me?_ You might wanna change your tone of voice with me there.”, she said right as he looked up.

“Honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see it was you.”, he said, standing up and walking over to her. “Are you feeling okay?”, he asked, taking her hands.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to come tell you that JJ knows.”, she said.

“JJ knows? I thought you were waiting to tell her.”, he said.

“Oh, Aaron. _Please_. She already knew.”, she said.

“What? But you didn’t tell her yet... you just said she found out right now.”, he said.

“She already knew. For a while. She just didn’t say anything. But I knew.”, Emily said.

“Wait... so you knew that she knew?”, he asked, getting confused.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“Then why did you just tell her now?”, he asked.

“She knew I wasn’t saying it for a reason. We both waited until it was time and just came out.”, she said.

“So she already knew but you still had to tell her even though you knew she knew and she knew that?”, he asked, even more confused.

“Exactly.”, she said.

“Wait, but-“, he said.

“Ugh, you’re a guy. I forget that sometimes. You don’t get this.”, she said.

“I just said it all, didn’t I?”, he asked.

“Yes, but you don’t _get it_.”, she said.

“Oh my god, okay. I give up.”, he said.

“I showed her the pictures and she loved them.”, she said.

“Good. I’m glad.”, he said, giving her a kiss. “Now, I really do have to get back to work, but did you need anything else?”

“No. Just that.”, she said and stared at him. “You wanna see them again, don’t you?”

He nodded his head and they walked over to his desk. He sat down and they looked over the pictures again.

“She looks like she’s sucking her thumb in this one!”, he laughed.

“That’s what JJ said too.”, she laughed.

“It’s true.”, he said, looking over them more for a few more minutes.

“Alright, I’ll let you get back to work now.”, she said.

“Thank you for telling me... and for bringing the pictures by again.”, he said, handing them back to her.

“Hey, can I cash in one of those coupons I got for Christmas? I’d like a back rub tonight.”, she said.

“Whatever you want, hun.”, he said.

“Great.”, she said, giving him a kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”, he said, watching her walk out and go back down to her desk. 

Nearing the end of the day, everyone packed up and went home early to get to Rossi’s for the party. When Hotch and Emily got home, they changed into regular clothes and headed over to Rossi’s. They got there right as everyone else was arriving and headed to the backyard. Within a few minutes, JJ showed up and they all gathered together.

After a while, Rossi brought out some things to make drinks and set them on the tables. While Emily stuck to snacking on the homemade pizza Rossi cooked, everyone else grabbed a drink.

“This is one thing I hate about all of this.”, Emily whispered to Hotch.

“What?”, he asked.

“I can’t drink!”, she said.

“Would it make you feel better if I didn’t either?”, he asked.

“Maybe...”, she pouted.

“Okay, I won’t then.”, he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing the top of her head.

“Hey, I made you a drink.”, Derek said, walking up to Emily and holding it out.

“Oh. No, that’s alright. Thank you though.”, Emily said.

“Come on, it’s a bachelorette party. Live a little.”, Derek said.

“ _Really_. I’m okay.”, she said.

“You don’t want a drink?!”, Rossi said.

“I’m just not in the mood for one.”, she said.

“That’s what you’ve said the last two times we’ve gone out.”, Spencer said.

“What, are you _pregnant?_ ”, Derek chuckled. 

Emily’s eyes immediately went to JJ, who nodded and whispered, “ _Just tell them_.”

Emily would have tried to argue but couldn’t once they all stared at her, waiting for her to seriously answer.

“Well... actually... I _am_.”, Emily said, letting out a nervous laugh, holding onto Hotch’s arms around her.

“ _What?!_ ”, Garcia practically screamed.

“You guys are having a baby?!”, Spencer said.

“Yeah.”, Emily smiled.

“Congratulazioni!”, Rossi said, walking over to her and giving each cheek a kiss and patting Hotch’s shoulder.

“Damn... Hotch and Prentiss are having a baby...”, Derek said.

“ _And?_ ”, JJ said, raising her eyebrow.

“JJ, this is your night.”, Emily said.

“ _And? What else?_ ”, JJ said.

Emily sighed and stroked Hotch’s hand before opening her mouth again. 

“ _Also..._ we’re engaged.”, Emily said.

“ _Okay, what?! Excuse me!_ You’re giving us a baby _and_ a wedding?”, Garcia said.

“Small wedding. Waiting till after the baby is born. She’s made that very clear.”, Hotch said.

“How far along are you?”, Spencer asked.

“16 weeks.”, Emily said.

“ _What?!_ ”, Garcia said.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”, Derek asked.

“We actually just found out today. It’s a girl.”, she said.

“Why do you wait forever to tell us these things?!”, Garcia said.

“You know, at 16 weeks, your baby is about the size of an avocado. It’s about seven inches in height from head to toe and weighs approximately five ounces. Did you know that it can even start to _hear_ you more now? Have you guys been talking to her at all because that can be really good to start early on. Also her taste buds should be developed by now so she can taste amniotic fluid as it-“, Spencer went on.

“Okay! Thank you, Reid.”, Hotch said.

“If our doctor doesn’t answer the phone when we need her, we know who to call.”, Emily laughed.

“Also she’s starting to grow hair now and look a little more human like instead of like an alien.”, Spencer said.

“Great. Thank you.”, Emily said.

“Finally, I get a niece!”, Garcia said.

“What, you don’t love your _nephew?_ ”, JJ asked.

“Nooo! I _love_ little Henry! I’m just excited to have someone I can buy cute little dresses and make matching hair clips for! I have so many little unicorns I can give her! So many other little fidget thingies!”, Garcia said.

“You do realize our daughter is gonna have to wear those every time we’re with Garcia now?”, Hotch whispered in Emily’s ear.

“It’ll be cute!”, she said.

“Okay, but if she tries making her matching _outfits... you’re saying something._ ”, he said.

“Why _me?_ ”, she asked.

“Because _I warned you._ ”, he said.

“Can I play that card? _Carrying your child?_ ”, she said.

“Not after she’s born.”, he said.

“That’s not fair!”, she said.

“Fine. We’ll negotiate.”, he chuckled.

“Ugh! I _hate_ you!”, she said, swatting his hand.

“No. You love me.”, he smiled, leaning forward more as she turned her head to look at him. Their lips met while they held onto each other. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her stomach.

“So, are you showing at all?”, Derek asked.

“Yeah, is there a little baby bump under there?”, Garcia asked.

“ _Little_. Like Spencer said, she’s only the size of an avocado right now.”, Emily laughed.

“Growing everyday though.”, Hotch said, kissing the side of her head.

“Where’s your ring?”, Garcia asked.

“It’s at home. I didn’t wanna wear it in front of you guys yet which by the way, can we focus on JJ now? It _is_ her night after all.”, Emily said.

“It’s a _beautiful_ ring... from _Tiffany’s_.”, JJ said.

“ _What?!_ You got her Tiffany’s. Can _I_ marry you?”, Garcia said to Hotch, laughing until she realized what she’d said. “Sir, I was completely joking. I in no way- Emily, he’s all yours, I didn’t mean to-“, Garcia said before Emily and Hotch both started laughing.

“It’s alright, Garcia.”, Hotch chuckled.

“I’m not mad or jealous.”, Emily laughed. “He loves me too much. He even told that girl, Kayla at the bar that one night when JJ came back to work.”

“I wasn’t going to flirt or let her think I was available.”, Hotch said.

“Which by the way...”, Emily said, looking over at Derek. “Thanks for that.”, she said, glaring at him.

“How was I supposed to know he was shackin’ up with you?”, Derek said.

“You ever try and set up my fiancé with anyone else, I’m still in touch with Clyde. Spies know how to do a lot.”, she said.

“You gonna make me disappear?”, he chuckled. She stared straight at him, completely serious and he swallowed hard. “Yeah, alright. Got it.”

“That felt good. Calling you my fiancé to other people.”, she said, looking up at Hotch.

“Sweetie, what did we say about threatening people?”, Hotch said.

“Not to do it anymore.”, she sighed.

“That’s right. We don’t want our daughter to pick up on that. She can start to hear now.”, he said.

“Alright, alright.”, she said.

“You know what’s a great gender neutral name?”, Spencer said.

“What’s that?”, Hotch asked.

“ _Spencer_.”, Spencer nodded with a big smile.

“We are not naming our daughter after you.”, Emily said.

“It was on my list of gender neutral names though.”, Hotch said.

“We’re _not_ naming her after boy genius.”, she said through her teeth.

“Yeah, alright. Marked off the list.”, he said.

“What about _Penelope?!_ ”, Garcia asked.

“We’ll take everything into consideration.”, Emily laughed.

“You better start wearing that ring.”, Garcia said.

“I promise.”, Emily said.

“Can we see the pictures?”, Garcia asked.

Emily looked over at JJ who gestured her hand for her to show them. She pulled out her phone and opened the camera roll, having everyone gather around her.

“This is from today.”, Emily said.

“Wow. This is wild.”, Derek said.

“Yeah. Trust me, I know.”, Emily laughed.

“It looks like she’s sucking her thumb.”, Spencer said.

“Yeah, it kinda does. Really everyone has been saying that.”, Emily said.

“ _So cute!_ ”, Garcia said.

“Alright, alright! Enough about me. JJ’s getting married in two days. _I_ can’t drink but all of _you_ can! So, please go for it. Even you.”, Emily said to Hotch. 

“No. I told you. I won’t drink.”, he said.

“Aaron, just have a drink, alright? I’m fine. You can make me a virgin cocktail or something.”, she laughed.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yes. I’ll drive. I don’t care.”, she said.

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”, he said, kissing her cheek before walking away.

JJ walked up to her and immediately, Emily began to apologize. 

“JJ, I’m so sorry, I really-“, Emily said.

“Emily, I don’t care. I’m glad they know now. Seriously!”, JJ said.

“Are you sure?”, Emily asked.

“ _Yes!_ Completely.”, JJ said.

“I just didn’t want to take any attention away from your night.”, Emily said.

“Emily, the next couple days are _all_ about me. It’s a lot of attention. I’m more than okay sharing a little bit of it.”, JJ said.

“I will be there for you one hundred percent tomorrow and Sunday. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’m there, right by your side. And if you need a getaway car...”, Emily said.

“No. Definitely not. I think Will got me pregnant before marrying me on purpose, just so I couldn’t run.”, JJ laughed.

“Maybe that’s what Aaron did too.”, Emily laughed when she saw him walk back over, holding their drinks.

“What?”, he asked, handing one to her. Her and JJ both started laughing even more, _confusing him_ even more. “ _What?_ ”

“Nothing. Thanks, sweetie.”, she said, sipping her drink.

“Am I missing something?”, he asked.

“No, no. You’re fine.”, she said, giving him a kiss.

“Are you guys talking about me again?”, he asked.

“How’s your drink?”, she asked.

“ _Emily_...”, he said.

“Is it good?”, she asked.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“We were just joking around.”, she said. He looked at her and she laughed, putting her hand on his face and giving him a kiss again.

“Mmhmm. Likely story.”, he said, quirking an eyebrow.

“Hey, why don’t we play _Do or Drink?_ ”, Derek said.

“Well, seeing as how Emily and Spencer both won’t be drinking...”, JJ said.

“It’s fine. I can play with this. So can Spencer.”, Emily said.

“You sure?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, of course.”, Emily said.

“Alright, why not.”, JJ said.

After they played some games and had a good time, it got late and they decided to head home. Hotch had started to get a bit drunk after playing one game in particular. Emily walked up to him and threw away his cup.

“Come on, we should go home.”, she said, taking his arm.

“Are you tired?”, he asked.

“A little but you’re drunk and we have stuff to do tomorrow. So come on.”, she said.

“Alright, alright.”, he said, standing up. “Let’s get you home.”

“No, no, no. _I’m_ driving, mister.”, she said, reaching in his pockets. 

“What are you doing?”, he laughed. “I think we should wait till we get home for that.”, he grinned, moving his face in close to hers. 

“Oh, please.”, she laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’m grabbing the keys.”, she said, finally getting them and holding them up.

“Oh.”, he said.

“Let’s go.”, she said.

“Okay, okay.”, he said, waving to everybody as Emily put her arm around him. He copied her and walked to the car, getting in the passenger seat.

She got in the driver's side and started the car. Once she put on her seatbelt, Hotch grabbed her face and crashed his lips onto hers, making her laugh.

“You’re silly when you’re drunk.”, she said.

“I’m _silly?_ ”, he said.

“Yes.”, she said, giving him one more kiss before driving off.

When they got home, Hotch immediately went to their bedroom and got changed into his pajamas. While Emily followed behind, he brushed his teeth and washed his face. After he was done, she did the same and he went to make some hot tea for them both.

When it was done, he brought it back in their room and sat them down on their night tables, meeting her in bed.

“How are you feeling?”, she asked, sitting up against the headboard and wall as he pulled the sheets back, climbing in. He laid down, holding himself up on his arm and leveled his head with her stomach.

“Much more sober.”, he said, rubbing her stomach.

“Good. Did you have fun tonight though?”, she asked.

“I did. I haven’t drank like that for a while.”, he laughed.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get sick.”, she said.

“I hardly ever do. I usually do if I’m drinking because I’m upset. I hit the hard stuff and way too much.”, he said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty much the same.”, she said.

“You’re cute when you’re drunk though. You get all giggly.”, he said.

“Yeah, I wonder how much of a lightweight I’ll be when I can drink again.”, she said.

“Mmm.”, he smiled, kissing her stomach.

“I thought of a few names for girls.”, she said.

“Oh yeah? What are they?”, he asked.

“Well, I like... Hannah, Brooklyn, Isabella, Ashley, Parker-“, she said.

“Parker for a girl?”, he said.

“You suggested _Logan_ for a girl.”, she said.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of girls named Logan. Never Parker.”, he said.

“Alright, fine. No for Parker then.”, she said.

“I like the first three you said. Brooklyn is nice but I don’t know about for _our_ daughter though.”, he said, shrugging his shoulders.“What about Ariel?”, he asked.

“Like The Little Mermaid?”, she said.

“Okay, not Ariel.”, he said.

“What about Lola?”, she said.

“I thought about that as a name for a dog we might get.”, he said.

“Okay... Adriana?”, she said.

“Eh. What about McKenzie?”, he said.

“Possibly. How about Lindsay?”, she said.

“No.”, he said.

“What? Why not? It’s cute.”, she said.

“Remember Lindsay? The college girl on that case? The one who kept flirting with me. She almost got killed by those unsubs. I don’t wanna think of that every time I say my daughter’s name.”, he said.

“Oh right.”, she giggled.

“What about... _Alison?_ ”, he said.

“ _Alison_... I like that... I like that a lot. It’s pretty.”, she said.

“ _Ali_ for short.”, he said.

“That’s really cute. I _love_ it.”, she said.

“Ali... is that your name? Are you an Alison?”, he said, talking to her stomach.

“That’s at the top of my list now.”, she said.

“I like that name. What do you think? You’ll tell us more when you start kicking, huh?”, he said.

“Doctor said she’s already moving around but only _I_ can really feel it. I haven’t noticed anything but she said most of the time it just feels like little butterflies in my stomach or even gas.”, she laughed.

“When is she gonna start kicking for _me?_ ”, he asked.

“She said about 20 weeks is when you can usually start to feel it more.”, she said.

“I remember whenever Jack first started kicking, it was the weirdest thing ever. It honestly kind of freaked me out at first.”, he laughed.

“Oh great.”, she said.

“But I got used to it and it’s actually pretty amazing.”, he said.

“Just keep talking to her, she’ll get used to the sound of your voice.”, she said.

He smiled and rubbed her stomach again while she grabbed her cup of tea.

“So _today_ , we found out you’re a girl. I don’t know if you knew that or not but you _are_. And that’s a good thing because we’ve been calling you a girl for a while, so thank you. Also, your mommy told your Aunt JJ about you today and she was very happy. She can’t wait to meet you. None of us can, really but don’t think about trying to come out too soon, alright? You still got a little more cooking to do.”, he said, making her laugh. “Let’s see... what else did we do? Um... well, your Aunt JJ is getting married, which you also probably don’t know what that means yet either but we had a party and all of our friends found out about you too. So everybody knows. Maybe now other people can help come up with names for you but... I really like Alison. We still need to think of a middle name too...”, he said as Emily stroked his hair.

“What about Hayden? You liked that for a _first_ name.”, she said.

“But the ending sounds the same as Alison. I don’t want them to rhyme or anything.”, he said.

“Oh, also... I’ve decided that I want to change my last name when we get married and for her last name to be Hotchner too.”, she said.

“Really?”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she smiled.

“You hear that? You’re gonna be the next little Hotchner baby. Your mommy’s last name right now is nice too. Very strong. But so is Hotchner. That’s also your brother’s last name. Which by the way, you’re going to love him. He’s very excited to see you when you come out. His name is Jack and he’s almost five years old. But don’t worry, he’ll be a protective older brother. He’ll make sure no one picks on you or anything. He’ll watch out for you. So will your mommy and I but it’s nice to have an older brother. _I’m_ an older brother and I always make sure my little brother is okay. That’s your Uncle Sean who you’ll also meet once you come out. He might be living with us when we get a house soon so he’ll be around a lot. You’re gonna have lots of people taking care of you. A lot of people love you already. Including me, of course, I’m your daddy. And your mommy loves you too. Very much.”, he said.

“ _Your mommy_ is also very tired and would like to sleep now.”, she said, setting her tea down after taking one more sip. “Right after I go pee. It’s better than the nausea but it’s so annoying having to go all the time.”

“Yeah, that part only gets worse.”, he said.

“Great, thanks.”, she said, getting out of bed.

She went to the bathroom and when she came out, she walked over to her side of the bed and climbed in. Hotch scooted over towards her and placed his hand on her stomach, kissing it. 

“Goodnight, sweetie.”, he said.

“Mmm goodnight.”, Emily said.

“I was talking to the baby.”, he said. She smacked his arm and he laughed, scooting back up to her and turning her over to face him. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”, he said, holding her as close as he could and curling her hair behind her ear. He looked deep in her eyes until she smiled and kissed him.

“Goodnight.”, she said, turning back around. “Cuddle up while you still can because soon enough, I’m gonna want space while I sleep. I’ll be too big to want you holding me all the time.”, she laughed.

He curled up behind her and placed his hand on her stomach, kissing her neck. She put her hand on top of his and fell asleep.

When they woke up in the morning, Hotch turned on his back and stretched, letting out a big yawn. He rolled back over to Emily and threw his arm over her. He kissed her shoulder and side of her head before nuzzling his against it.

“Mmm.”, she mumbled.

“Good morning.”, he whispered.

“Mmhmm.”, she mumbled.

“Still tired?”, he asked.

“Mmhmm.”, she mumbled again.

“Oh, I forgot. I was going to give you a back rub last night.”, he said.

“You can give me one _now_.”, she said.

“Alright, sit up.”, he said.

“I need to pee first.”, she said.

“Okay, so go pee.”, he said.

“I need help up.”, she laughed.

“Come on, sweetie.”, he said backing up so she could roll on her back. He pulled her up and she took a moment to rub her eyes and breathe before she got up and went to the bathroom. 

She walked back out and sat down in bed. He got behind her and wrapped his legs around her, letting her sit in between them. Moving her hair to the side, he kissed her neck and shoulder before he began giving her a massage.

“So what time are you picking up JJ?”, he asked.

“Mmm about 3:00.”, she said.

“What do you wanna do until then?”, he asked.

“Relax at home. It’s gonna be a long night and long day tomorrow.”, she said.

“So I’ll be here without you tonight.”, he said.

“Just for tonight. The groom can’t see the bride the night before the wedding so I’m staying the night with her at the hotel.”, she said.

“What am I gonna do?”, he said.

“Watch some sports or something. Hangout with Will. I don’t know. Go to sleep early.”, she said.

“Are you sure you can handle everything tomorrow? Like you said, it’s gonna be a long day. I don’t want you wearing yourself out too much.”, he said.

“I’ll be fine. I know what I can handle.”, she said.

“Alright. Just let me know if either of you need any help with anything.”, he said.

“We will. Speaking of which, will you hand me my phone? I should see if she’s texted me at all.”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he said, grabbing it and handing it to her before continuing the massage. “Anything?”

“Oh my god! Aaron. Look.”, she said, showing him her phone. 

“What’s that?”, he asked.

“It’s a house listed on the website we’ve been checking. It’s _amazing_.”, she said.

“Wow. It looks nice. But it’s gotta cost-“, he started.

“Way less than you’d think.”, she said.

“There’s no way. A house like _that_.”, he said.

“Look.”, she said.

“ _What?_ There’s gotta be something wrong with it. There’s no reason why it would be priced that low.”, he said.

“It’s not extremely low, it’s just low for what it is.”, she said.

“Yeah, but still. Something’s not right.”, he said.

“Maybe they have a good reason.”, she said.

“Yeah, like maybe someone was killed there. Prices go _way_ down when that happens.”, he said.

“I _highly_ doubt that’s the case.”, she said.

“I don’t know, Em.”, he said.

“Look, it’s in a little cul de sac with other cute houses. It’s a perfect little street for kids to ride their bikes. There’s a short little gate to the backyard from the sidewalk even with a little slant. The kids could roll down the grass like they’re on a hill. And- oh! There’s even a little studio guest house space in it. It’s perfect for Sean. There’s space for the kids to run around and build that treehouse and swing set like you said. The kitchen is right off the backyard along with another bedroom next to it with sliding glass doors. It’s two stories. Technically three because to get to the front door you have to walk about a story up these stairs outside but the front porch is right next to it and overlooks the street from high up. There’s plants along the wall of the staircase. You walk inside and there’s the living room in front of you and the dining room right there next to it, kind of an open space. There’s even a nice looking bathroom right along the wall there right by the staircase. Oh wow, right at the bottom there’s a bedroom, that could maybe be a guest bedroom. And then there’s half a flight of stairs and then it turns and another half. Straight ahead is a decent size room with a bathroom. This could be Jack’s room. It has a great view of the street with all the trees beyond it and the sky on one side and the backyard on the other. And then also the other bedroom... if you turn left after coming up the staircase, that’s the master bedroom. It’s big. That’d be ours obviously. Definitely more than enough room to have the crib in there for a while. And if you go all the way in, to the right, there’s a beautiful bathroom with-“, she gasped. “With a waterfall shower head! We have a pretty good view out our window too.”, she said.

“You’re saying that like it’s ours already.”, he laughed.

“Well it _could be._ ”, she said.

“Alright, go on.”, he said.

“Okay, downstairs again. Right as you come downstairs, there’s that little room along the same wall on the right and the dining room straight ahead. If you go towards it, there’s the entrance to the kitchen which is a little narrow between the countertops and fridge next to one but it seems good. It’s really nice. Then further in is a more open space where we could put a little table for breakfast some mornings right in front of the sliding glass door. The one that leads to the backyard. A pantry on the wall to the right and laundry right next to it. And there’s even another bedroom right there. This is decent sized as well. It even has a bathroom in it also... _plus_ on the left side, there’s a sliding glass door to the backyard.”, she said.

“Anything else?”, he laughed.

“The porch. Okay it looks like you walk out of there and go through the dining room and living room and right by where they have the couch, so not too far from the front door, there’s a door to the porch. Oh that’s nice. That’s a great view and it’s awesome because it’s high up and a decent amount of space. It’s great. It’s even in a good school district. It’s not seeming like walking distance but they can take the bus and get dropped off and picked up by us.”, she said.

“It _is_ kind of perfect.”, he said.

“There’s an open house today. We should go!”, she said.

“I don’t even feel like I need to after you giving me a full virtual and verbal tour.”, he laughed.

“Come on! Let’s just go check it out. It can’t hurt to take a look.”, she said. 

“Alright... fine.”, he said.

“Yes! Let’s get dressed!”, she said, springing up from the bed.

“Oh, you mean _now?_ ”, he said.

“Yes. _Right now._ What if we want to make an offer? We should do it before anyone else does.”, she said, getting dressed.

“Okay, okay. I’m getting dressed.”, he said.

Once they were dressed and ready, they drove to the house. They parked out front only to find they were the only people there so far.

“Oh my god, I’m so excited.”, Emily said, getting out of the car. 

“Just calm down. We’re only taking a look.”, Hotch said, following her up the stairs.

The front door was open and they walked in, being greeted by the owners and real estate agent right as they heard someone else pulling up. 

“Hey, how are you guys doing?”, the man said.

“Good, and yourself?”, Hotch said.

“Great. My name is John and this is my wife, Melissa.”, John said, offering his hand and shaking theirs while his wife did the same. 

“Aaron and this is my fiancé, Emily.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around her.

“Would you care for a drink? No charge, just a little bit of champagne while you talk a walk around.”, John said.

“Oh, I’d love some but uh, I’m pregnant so.”, Emily nervously laughed.

“Oh, congratulations! Is it your first one?”, Melissa asked.

“Oh, well, it’s _my_ first but Aaron’s son lives with us. He’s almost five. So it feels like it’ll be my second kid but first _having_ one.”, Emily said.

“I know how that is. Our oldest is from John’s previous marriage but he grew up with us so when we had our second kid it felt like the first but also not.”, Melissa laughed.

“Exactly. How many kids do you have?”, Emily asked.

“Three. Our oldest just started his sophomore year of college actually and our middle is in her junior year of high school while our youngest is a freshman.”, Melissa said.

“Nice.”, Emily smiled.

“Would you like a tour?”, John asked.

“I feel like she already gave me one earlier when we looked at it online but yeah, in person would be great.”, Hotch laughed.

While they showed them around, the real estate agent showed the other couple that had come in, around. While Emily and Hotch were upstairs, the other couple was downstairs and eventually switched. When they got to the backyard, they checked out the studio, impressing Hotch more than he thought he would be.

“So?”, Emily whispered to him.

“It _is_ pretty great. I haven’t seen one I’ve liked as much as this so far. Or ever.”, he said.

“Treehouse. Right there. Swings. Right there. Soccer net. Right th-“, she said, pointing.

“Alright. You’ve convinced me.”, he chuckled.

“I’m so good at this.”, she giggled.

“This is really great. I mean, we seriously haven’t seen many places we even like that much but... this is perfect.”, Hotch said to them, rubbing Emily’s back. “But... I have to ask... why is the price so low? For a place this nice I mean.”

“Honestly, we’re moving in a few weeks and we just don’t need a crazy amount of money for it and we need it to sell fast so... figured it’s just best like this.”, John said.

“Moving in a few weeks? That’s pretty soon.”, Hotch said.

“It’s for work. Great opportunity and we’ve lived here for years. It’ll be a nice change of pace.”, John said. 

“Ah. What do you do?”, Hotch asked.

“I work for the Intelligence Branch division of the FBI.”, John said.

“Are you serious?”, Hotch said.

“Yeah.”, John said.

“We work for the FBI as well.”, Hotch laughed.

“ _Really?_ ”, John said.

“Yeah. I’m actually the Unit Chief of the BAU at Quantico.”, Hotch said.

“You’re _kidding!_ ”, John said.

“Nope. Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner and Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss.”, Hotch said, motioning his hand to Emily.

“ _Both_ of you?”, Melissa said.

“Kind of a power couple, I guess you could say.”, Emily laughed.

“Wow. Wait... Hotchner... You don’t work with David Rossi, do you?”, John asked.

“I _do_. We did a long time ago and then he retired but he came back a few years ago. How’d you know?”, Hotch asked.

“He’s mentioned you in one of his books. You two must be close.”, John said.

“Well, he _is_ known as _Uncle Dave_ to my son so... yeah, he’s pretty much family.”, Hotch chuckled.

“You also caught The Boston Reaper, George Foyet, am I right?”, John asked.

“Um... yeah. He escaped prison the first time but after that, he targeted my family actually. They went into Witness Protection for a while.”, Hotch said.

“Oh god... but you got him. You were the one that-“, John said.

“Yeah. Done with him now.”, Hotch chuckled, trying to smile.

“Wow... that’s impressive. I mean, I read about that and I heard about it from other people in the bureau but to hear it from you in person... I don’t want to say it’s an honor to meet you and act like I’m starstruck but it kind of is an honor to meet you.”, John chuckled.

“It’s an honor for me to meet anyone else in the bureau. _Seriously_ , thank you for everything you do.”, Hotch said.

“Same to you.”, John nodded. “Well, is there anything else you wanted to see?”

“I think we took a good look around. What do _you_ think, Em?”, Hotch asked.

“I don’t think I need to see anything else.”, she said, giving him a look.

“I think we’d definitely like to make an offer.”, Hotch said.

“Great! There’s just some papers over there at the table you can fill out and we’ll get back to you guys real soon. But... I can’t imagine anyone better living in this house. I mean, you guys seem really great.”, Melissa said.

“Thank you.”, Emily smiled.

“It was great meeting you, and tell David Rossi that we’re both big fans.”, John chuckled.

“Will do.”, Hotch laughed as they all shook hands before walking inside. They filled out some papers and made an offer, crossing their fingers as they walked out.

They got down to their car and before they got in, Emily grabbed Hotch’s hands and squeezed them, jumping up and down a bit.

“That might be our new house!”, she said.

“Yeah, it _might_ be.”, he said.

“Why aren’t you jumping?”, she asked.

“I’m not a jumping kind of guy.”, he laughed.

“Is this about him bringing up Foyet?”, she asked.

“No. Not at all. I’ve gotten used to people asking me about him. It doesn’t upset me anymore. I just don’t let it. It’s fine. I’m good. I swear.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“You promise?”, she asked.

“I promise.”, he nodded, going in for another kiss. “Now, let’s go home and relax before you have to pick up JJ.”

“Okay.”, she said, getting in the car.

They drove back home and rested until around 3:00 when Emily started packing up her things.

“You got everything?”, he asked.

“Umm...”, she said, scrambling to gather stuff.

“Dress, curling iron, makeup, shoes, pajamas, spare change of clothes, toiletries.”, he said.

“Right. Okay, okay.”, she said, grabbing them all.

“Oh. Prenatals. Can’t forget those.”, he said, handing her the bottle of vitamins.

“Almost did. Whew. This is why I keep you around.”, she said. 

“Gee thanks.”, he said.

“Oh, honey. You know I love you.”, she stopped and walked over to him and gave him a kiss. She smiled and stroked his face.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep getting ready.”, he said.

She finished packing everything up and walked down to her car with Hotch. Not wanting her to carry heavy things as much as he could help it, he brought it down for her. He put it in the trunk and stepped over to her, waiting by the front door of the car.

“Alright. Be safe, have fun, call me if you need anything.”, he said.

“I will.”, she said.

He bent down and put his hands on her stomach. “Be good, don’t give your mommy a hard time, alright?”, he said, making Emily laugh. “I love you.”, he said, kissing her stomach before shooting up to Emily and giving _her_ a kiss. “Have fun. And don’t miss me too much.”, he chuckled.

“Don’t worry on that.”, she said.

He dropped open his mouth, pretending to be offended and gasped. “Okay, wow. Go on, get outta here.”, he said.

“I love you.”, she giggled.

“Yeah, love you too.”, he said, waving her off as she got in the car and headed to JJ’s. 

She picked her up and drove straight to the hotel they were staying at. When they got there, they set their bags down and rested for a bit until they got bored and decided to grab dinner. When they got back, they got changed into their pajamas and watched tv before they realized they should be doing something more fun.

“I have an idea.”, Emily said, turning off the tv. She got up and ran to the bathroom bringing out multiple rolls of toilet paper. 

“What are you doing with those?”, JJ asked, almost worried.

“Making you another wedding dress.”, Emily said.

“What?”, JJ said.

“Come on. Stand up.”, Emily said. JJ stood up and Emily set everything down, holding onto one roll. “I do yours and you do mine.”

“Don’t people usually do this at bridal showers?”, JJ asked.

“Yes but you didn’t have one and doing that for everybody would have required _a lot_ of toilet paper. Now... long or short dress?”, Emily asked.

“Medium.”, JJ said.

Emily took the roll of toilet paper and started wrapping it around JJ’s chest and went all the way down to her hips before she stopped. 

“Um...”, Emily said.

“What?”, JJ asked.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing.”, Emily laughed. 

“Oh my god.”, JJ rolled her eyes.

“I’ve only seen what it looks like _after!_ I’ve never seen it being _done_.”, Emily said, pausing to think. “Okay. I got it.”

She pulled a piece down and let it hang, then tearing it off from the roll and continuing to wrap it around, repeating that for the whole thing. 

“Okay this is just-“, JJ started.

“ _Beautiful!_ ”, Emily laughed.

“Not the word I was gonna use, Em.”, JJ laughed.

“It’s the best I could do! It’s great!”, Emily said.

“Okay, now yours.”, JJ said.

“No! You need a veil.”, Emily said.

“Do you even know how to make that?”, JJ asked.

“I’ll figure it out.”, Emily said.

After wrapping the toilet paper around JJ’s head, she attempted to tie pieces hanging down and only tore a few.

“Is it done?”, JJ asked after a few minutes.

“It’s done! You look great!”, Emily said.

“Jesus, Emily, this is horrible.”, JJ laughed.

“I think it’s amazing work. I’m truly an artist.”, Emily laughed.

“Yeah, sure. _Your turn._ ”, JJ said, picking up a roll. “Long, medium, or short?”

“Short.”, Emily said. 

“Alright, be prepared.”, JJ said.

JJ started doing the same style dress for Emily but shorter and much neater than her own. When she was done, she started making a veil but Emily stopped her.

“I’m not a veil type of bride.”, Emily said.

“Neither am I but you made _me_ one.”, JJ said.

“How about a flower crown?”, Emily said.

“Where am I gonna get flowers?”, JJ asked.

“We’ll make them.”, Emily said, rolling pieces of toilet paper, folding them and tearing to make them look like little flowers. She stuck them in the crown and smiled at the results.

“Impressive.”, JJ said, sarcastically.

“Alright, shut up.”, Emily laughed.

“What next?”, JJ asked.

“Hmm... oooo... how about truth or dare?”, Emily said.

“Seriously? Truth or dare?”, JJ said.

“You’re no fun! Come on!”, Emily said.

“Alright, alright! I’ll get into it more.”, JJ said.

“Let me look some up.”, Emily said, grabbing her phone and sitting on the bed with JJ. “Okay.”, she bounced. “Truth or dare?”, she smirked and raised one eyebrow.

“Truth.”, JJ said.

“When was the last time you lied?”, Emily asked.

“Oh... hmm... maybe yesterday when Henry drew me a picture and I said it was good.”, JJ laughed.

“Yeah, we all go there.”, Emily said.

“Okay, give.”, JJ said, taking Emily’s phone. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”, Emily said.

“Give someone your phone and let them send one text to anyone in your contacts.”, JJ said.

“No, no, no.”, Emily said.

“You chose dare!”, JJ said.

“Oh god. Okay, just... my parents are off limits. My mother already hates me enough and I’m lucky enough for my father not to. He wouldn’t understand some weird text from you.”, Emily said.

“Fine. I already know who I’m going to send it to.”, JJ said. As she was typing, Emily became nervous but not in a horrible way, knowing JJ wouldn’t do anything that bad. “Sent!”

“Great, now _give_.”, Emily said.

“Wait. They’re typing back.”, JJ said. She waited for a text to come back and when it did, she bursted out laughing. 

“What? Who was it? What’d they say? What did _you_ say?”, Emily asked. JJ handed Emily the phone and she looked at it, not surprised at all. “ _Hey, baby. Miss your sexy face_.”, Emily read from her phone. “Seriously? Were the four hearts next to that necessary?”

“He actually said _“JJ, why do you have Emily’s phone?_ ” How did he know?”, JJ said, cracking up.

“Because he’s my fiancé. He knows me. And I don’t call him _baby_.”, Emily said, texting him back.

“What are you telling him?”, JJ asked.

“ _Sorry, JJ and I are playing truth or dare._ ”, Emily said. “Okay. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”, JJ said.

“These all suck.”, Emily said.

“Okay, I’ll do another truth until you find a better dare.”, JJ said.

“Alright. Oh. Have you ever kissed a girl?”, Emily asked.

“Once.”, JJ said.

“Really? Only once?”, Emily asked.

“Spin the bottle in high school. Quick peck. Never anything longer than like half a second or with anyone I really knew.”, JJ said.

“Wow.”, Emily said.

“Why? What about you?”, JJ asked.

“Me? Oh, I’ve been in a _relationship_ with a girl. Slept with a few.”, Emily said.

“ _What?!_ How did I not know this? Aaron must have _freaked_ when he found out. He _does_ know, right?”, JJ asked. 

“Yeah. I told him shortly after we got into a relationship. Let’s just say he was more than okay with it. And very willing to hear stories.”, Emily laughed.

“So are you bi or...”, JJ asked.

“I haven’t been interested in women since college so I consider myself straight I guess but I don’t think we need labels all the time.”, Emily said.

“Wow... you’ve done all these wild things, had all these experiences and I’ve barely done anything. I’ve only had a few boyfriends even.”, JJ said.

“But that’s okay.”, Emily said.

“But I feel like I haven’t done anything now. And tomorrow... that’s going to become the case for the rest of my life...”, JJ said.

“ _I’ll_ kiss you.”, Emily said.

“ _What?_ ”, JJ said.

“ _I’ll kiss you._ That way you can say you’ve _actually_ kissed a girl.”, Emily said.

“No, that’s- I-“, JJ said.

“It doesn’t mean anything at all.”, Emily said.

“Seriously?”, JJ laughed nervously.

“JJ, I don’t care.”, Emily said.

“Are we talking like close-“, JJ started before Emily grabbed her face and crashed her lips onto hers. 

It was soft and simple, closed mouthed until she added a bit of tongue but not too much, for it not being a real, meaningful kiss. After almost 20 seconds, Emily let go and dropped her hands in her lap. She gave JJ a smile before JJ started laughing just as hard as she had when she sent Hotch the text. Watching how hysterical she was, Emily couldn’t help but laugh along. 

“Aaron is very lucky.”, JJ said, trying to catch her breath.

“So is Will.”, Emily said, bringing her voice down from laughing.

“Wow. Girls are much better kissers than guys.”, JJ said.

“That’s what I told Aaron before. Except he really is the best kisser. I mean I’ve honestly never kissed anyone who was as good as him. He can make you feel things just in one kiss. And he knows just the right amount of tongue to use at the right time, the right way. I really _do_ miss his sexy face now. That could also just be the hormones talking. Lately, he’s just been so hard not to grab and pull off to the side at work. I just constantly want him. Did that happen to you when you were pregnant with Henry?”, Emily asked.

“Uh yeah. Quite a bit and that doesn’t really go away until you get really really big and you’re almost due. You just don’t want anyone touching you. Most of the time. There were some surges of hormones some days but for the most part towards the end... no. And then it’ll be a while until you have sex again after the baby is born.”, JJ said.

“How long exactly? Because Aaron didn’t after they conceived Jack. Literally the next time he had sex since then was with me. Our first time. So... he isn’t really a good reference.”, Emily said.

“Will and I waited like four weeks. Doctors say typically to wait four to six weeks. Some people wait longer because they’re just so exhausted and it’s also hard to find time especially for you guys probably... I mean, having Jack already _plus_ a newborn... I don’t know.”, JJ said.

“How are we supposed to when the baby is gonna sleep in our room?”, Emily asked.

“Okay, first of all, it’s completely normal for that. If she’s in the crib, asleep and you’re in your bed, it’s fine. Literally all parents do that. And by the time a year or a little less rolls around, she will be in her own room and then you’ll be completely alone. You also don’t have to just do it in the bedroom. Especially if you get a house. There’s so many other places you could. Also if Sean is living with you guys and has his own place attached, he can babysit a lot and take them out too. Don’t worry. You’ll find ways. You’ll find time.”, JJ said.

“What if it’s not as good as before? I mean Aaron’s good. He’s better than good. He’s the best I’ve ever had but what if it’s not as good after?”, Emily asked.

“For _me,_ it was. The first time was a little awkward at first but then once you get things going after a few minutes, it’s like nothing’s changed at all. And it felt even better than before. Maybe because it’d been so long but all the times after that were regular. But yeah, for me, it never changed or got worse. And it feels nice to be so close to them again. To feel so connected again and intimate and not just physically. It really is special.”, JJ said.

“Okay... okay, good.”, Emily nodded.

“Are you guys able to right now?”, JJ asked.

“Sometimes it’s more than before the pregnancy and sometimes it’s less. It’s very inconsistent. It’s just whether I’m in the mood or not and when we have time because of work. We always found time before but now, I’m either like I wanna jump his bones in the moment or I have no desire at all. But that’s usually not the case.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, it’s about to get a lot stronger. Make sure you keep your door locked.”, JJ laughed.

“Good to know.”, Emily said.

“Okay, I’m tired of truth or dare. These all suck. What next?”, JJ asked.

“What about Pictionary?”, Emily said.

After playing Pictionary and grabbing candy from the vending machine, they watched some more tv and fell asleep, making sure they had an alarm set.

When it went off the next morning, they sat right up, both rushing to take a shower. They went downstairs and got breakfast at the restaurant in the hotel and went back up in their room to do their hair and makeup. 

After spending hours, getting ready, they eventually went to the room of the venue part of the hotel where they were having the wedding. In the back, Garcia and Emily helped JJ with her dress and taking the curls out of her hair.

Once everyone else, including a few other friends of JJ’s that were bridesmaids, were dressed and ready, they waited for the music to start. 

“It’s a perfect day outside.”, Emily said.

“Uh huh.”, JJ nodded, looking at her ring.

“Jayje... you’re gonna be fine. You love him. He loves you. You have a kid together. You’re perfect. Now don’t you dare try to run.”, Emily said.

“What if I didn’t see enough or do enough with my life?”, JJ said.

“You did. We’ve discussed this. You’ve done all you wanted to and needed to and you’ll have more chances once you’re married. Trust me. I’m your maid of honor. I know what I’m talking about.”, Emily said.

“I don’t know...”, JJ said.

“Yes. You do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have agreed to marry him. Now... the music is starting. I’m gonna go and then everyone else is and then _you_ are. You’ve got this.”, Emily said before she turned around and walked out the doors to outside. 

She started walking down the aisle with the flowers in her hands, all the way to the front and stopped on the bride's side at the altar. 

As the bridesmaids started walking out, Emily looked around until she spotted Hotch in the front row. She could only assume it was the _pregnancy brain_ that made her completely miss him being so close to her, at first.

When their eyes met, she flashed him a big smile and he gazed at her right back, while Henry sat in his lap. He watched how the light from the sunset hitting her, made her eyes sparkle. Being so mesmerized by her, he almost didn’t notice when everyone turned their heads to watch JJ walk down the aisle with her father on her side. He let go once she reached the end and he sat off to the side in the front row.

They all watched as JJ and Will joined hands, Emily and Hotch imagining their own wedding soon enough. After they kissed, everyone stood up and cheered, eventually making their way inside where they ate dinner. 

Afterwards, they had the tables moved out of the way to create the dance floor with drinks all around on tables off to the side. Emily and Hotch danced with Henry for a few fun upbeat songs until JJ and Will decided to take him. 

Once it was just the two of them Hotch held out his hand to Emily as a slow song started and everyone got a partner to slow dance with.

“May I have this dance?”, he asked her.

“What do you think?”, Emily said, taking his hand.

He pulled her in close and wrapped an arm around her back while he held her hand in the other, holding it up. As they swayed, Hotch leaned his head against hers and closed his eyes, taking in the moment.

“I don’t know if I can count how many times we’ve actually gotten to slow dance like this before.”, he said.

“Not enough.”, she said, moving her hand up more on his back.

“So. What’d you do last night? Did you have fun?”, he asked.

“Yeah, we had a lot of fun. We made those wedding dresses out of toilet paper and then we played Truth or Dare and then Pictionary.”, Emily said.

“Truth or Dare... was she dared to send me a weird text or something?”, he chuckled.

“You know, she was very surprised that you knew it was her.”, she said.

“We don’t call each other _baby_ . _Babe_ , sure. But not _baby_.”, he said.

“That’s what I told her. Also that my _fiancé_ knows me well enough.”, she said, leaning into him more when she said _fiancé_.

“That’s for sure. Was she nervous at all?”, he asked.

“Yeah, she was having some doubts. Some fears that she hasn’t done as much as she’s wanted to as a single woman but I helped change her mind pretty quickly on that one.”, she giggled.

“What’d you do?”, he smiled at her laugh.

“I kissed her.”, she said.

“You _what?!_ ”, he said, pulling back and looking at her.

“She said she’d never really kissed a girl before and so I figured if I kissed her, she’d feel more content with knowing that she’s got one more thing checked off on things she never did before she got married. It didn’t mean anything.”, she laughed.

“Of course I know that. I’m just surprised. I thought you weren’t into girls anymore.”, he said.

“I’m not. I’m into _you_.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss.

“Obviously. But uh... do you ever... check out any girls or anything...”, he asked.

“I can recognize when a girl is hot and I’ll agree if someone says so but I don’t think about anybody more than that anymore. Male or female. Because I have _you_.”, she said, smiling and giving him a kiss again.

“You know, I wouldn’t care if you did. I’m not saying you can’t be attracted to other people. That’s normal. I mean, I don’t want you _flirting_ with other people or anything but it’s okay to notice or acknowledge it, you know.”, he said.

“I know. I just don’t happen to because you’re all I need. It’s like a default setting in my brain. Turn off all attention to other human beings and just focus my attraction on you.”, she giggled, kissing him again.

“So this kiss... was it short or...”, he said.

“It was about 20 seconds long, closed mouthed at first then a little bit of tongue, no feelings, nothing awkward after. No touching or anything.”, she said.

“Oh wow.”, he said.

“I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”, she said.

“Don’t be. At all... so... what else happened?”, he asked.

She gasped and slapped his arm. “Your dirty mind, I swear-“, she said.

“You’re the one who kissed another girl. But sure, _I’m_ the dirty one.”, he said.

“Is it just hot for you to think about me with another girl?”, she asked.

“Please don’t right now. Don’t put thoughts in my head, Emily. I’m serious.”, he said.

“It _is_... I already told you about my other experiences from a long time ago but-“, she said.

“Emily, _please_.”, he said.

“Fine. I’m sorry.”, she said, kissing his cheek.

“You drive me crazy.”, he said.

“In the best possible way though.”, she said.

“ _Sometimes_.”, he said.

“Take it back.”, she said.

“Make me.”, he said.

“I’m not playing that game with you right now.”, she said.

“Fair enough... How are you feeling?”, he asked.

“I’m fine.”, she said.

“And the baby?”, he asked.

“We’re both fine. Nothing else has changed since yesterday.”, she said.

“Good.”, he said, kissing the side of her head before leaning his against it again. “I’m so excited for this to be _our_ day.”, he said.

“No big venue.”, she said.

“I know, hun. But I can’t wait to dance with you as a married couple. To see you in your dress... you’re gonna look so beautiful.”, he said.

“We don’t have a dress picked out yet. You don’t know that.”, she said.

“Honey, you could wear a burlap sack and I’d marry you in an instant.”, he said.

“You could wear a trash bag and I’d still love you and be more than happy to call you my husband.”, she said.

“See? We’re perfect for each other.”, he said.

“I guess so.”, she said, grabbing on to his shoulder. “Think we’ll get that house?”

“I _hope_ so. I had a really good feeling about it.”, he said. All of a sudden he heard her sniffle after being quiet for a minute. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just- I love you so much.”, she cried.

“Hormo-“, he started and felt her nod. “I love you too, hun.”, he said, kissing the side of her head.

Throughout the rest of the night, they danced and caught up with everyone, showing off Emily’s ring. They eventually got tired so Hotch helped Emily bring everything out of her and JJ’s room after saying _goodbye_ and _congratulations_. They went out to the car with her bag and drove home. 

When they got there, they changed as fast as possible and got ready for bed before practically falling into it. Hotch curled up behind Emily and kissed her neck, quickly falling asleep.

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	91. Moving In and Closure pt. 1

**Chapter 91**

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A few days later on Monday, everyone took the day off of work, giving JJ a chance to get away for a short honeymoon with Will. It also allowed Emily and Hotch to drive to New York to pick up Jack from spending a few days with Haley. 

Once they arrived at her and Tom’s house, Emily put her ring in her pocket and looked over at Hotch. They both took a deep breath, preparing themselves to tell Haley about everything. Including the fact that earlier that day, John and Melissa had called them to let them know that they got the house. As surprised as they were, they were more than ready to start packing as soon as possible. 

When they got out of the car, they walked up the steps and rang the doorbell, nervous for how Haley would react to all the news they had to tell her. She opened the door after a minute with only a small smile and let them in, worrying Emily but Hotch didn’t seem too concerned.

“Hey, he’s just grabbing his stuff upstairs. Did you guys want a water or anything?”, Haley asked.

“Oh, I’m good thanks.”, Hotch said, Emily shaking her head as well. “How was everything the past few days?”, he asked, following her into the kitchen while she grabbed a water for herself and a couple snacks for Jack to take on the road.

“Really great. It felt nice to have a few days off work. It’s been crazy. I can’t remember ever being busier with a job before.”, Haley laughed.

“Yeah. We know how that goes.”, Emily laughed with a moment of silence following, before Hotch spoke.

“Listen... there’s some-“, he started but Haley put her hand up, stopping him.

“Jack told me.”, she said.

“He told you?”, Hotch said, shocked.

“Yeah, less than an hour after you dropped him off the other night.”, she said.

“What did he say exactly?”, Emily asked.

“That he was a big brother now.”, Haley nodded awkwardly.

“Oh...”, Emily said.

“So it’s true? You guys are... actually having a baby together?”, Haley asked.

“We didn’t want to tell anyone too soon and then we wanted to be able to tell you in person and... I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to _keep it from you_. We just didn’t know how and wanted to make sure it was done right at a good time... which now that I think about it, there’s never really a good time for that in this situation.”, Emily said.

“It’s fine. Really. He’s um... he seems really excited.”, Haley said, not seeming completely fine

“Haley...”, Hotch said.

“No.”, Haley said, holding her hand up again. “I’m uh- I’m glad you guys are happy. That’s... good. That’s important. You both deserve to be happy. I’m really glad that _Jack_ is happy. I know he’s wanted a little brother or sister before... now he’ll have one. It’ll be good for him.”, Haley nodded.

“I’m sorry, I-“, Emily started.

“So how far along are you?”, Haley asked, obviously trying to keep it together and be polite.

“16 weeks...”, Emily said.

“Wow. That’s- that’s close to halfway. Girl or boy? Jack said he really wanted a sister.”, Haley said.

“It’s a girl...”, Emily said.

“Now you’ve got one of each.”, Haley said to Hotch, letting out half a laugh, rolling her lips in.

“I’m sorry he told you. We wanted it to come from _us_.”, Hotch said.

“But it didn’t.”, Haley said.

“I’m _sorry_...”, Hotch said.

“I mean I assumed you would’ve let me know before Jack if it ever happened so I guess I’m just a little surprised.”, she said.

“I didn’t feel that way and I didn’t know _you_ _did_. I don’t know why this was never brought up before. If I’d have known and we came to an agreement on it, I would’ve communicated with you first. But honestly... he’s my son and this is another child of mine we’re talking about here. It didn’t seem like something I needed to tell you about first. Some life lessons, sure. Puberty, drugs, sex, all those talks later on, _sure_. We’ll make those decisions together. But for _this_ , I don’t feel like it was necessary to tell you before him. I’m sorry if you disagree and we can talk about that later if you want but that’s where I stand.”, he said.

“No... you’re right. It’s not really my business. _Jack_ is my business. _He’s_ the most important part of my life. It was great seeing him so excited about something but I guess I was just surprised to hear about it from _him_ . To hear from _our_ child about _another_ child you’re having with someone else. Which... no offense to either of you... at all. It’s just very new for me and I wasn’t quite sure how to react. I’m still not and I hope you can understand that but I’m not upset about anything.”, she said.

Emily pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded her head, feeling bad even though Haley said she wasn’t upset.

“Um... I really don’t want to bring anything else up right now, so I’m not doing this maliciously... but we also don’t want to _keep_ anything else from you...”, Hotch said.

  
  


“It’s fine.”, she nodded. “What is it?”

“We um... we got engaged and... we just got a call back earlier today about a house we put down an offer for and we got it.”, he said, watching her facial expressions to try and gauge what she was feeling.

“So... you guys are... having a baby, getting married, _and_ buying a house. All together.”, she said.

“Yeah... listen, I know that this is weird. _Really_ weird. But-“, he started.

“Aaron. I’m happy for you. You seem happy. You _both_ seem happy. _Jack_ seems happy. I care about you guys a lot and I wouldn’t want either of you to be anything but happy. I truly wish the best for you and all of this. Besides, Tom and I are also very happy. There’s no resentment or jealousy here. I’m just... adjusting.”, she said.

“That’s understandable.”, Emily said.

“If you guys ever need anything...”, Haley said.

“Thank you.”, Emily said.

“It’ll definitely be interesting to see how much she looks like Jack with him having blonde hair and you both have dark hair and all.”, Haley said, trying to let out a small laugh.

“I had light to medium brown hair when I was younger and my eyes weren’t always this dark, so who knows but yeah there’ll probably be a bit of a difference.”, Emily laughed.

“Also, Jack’s room at the new house is much bigger and he has a bathroom in it so I think he’s going to really like it. And there’s a studio guest house kind of in the backyard that Sean is moving into so he’ll be around all the time which will definitely be good for Jack.”, Hotch said.

“Oh, that’s really nice. He loves spending time with Sean. That’s good. But um... what are you planning on doing work wise after the baby comes? You went back very soon after _Jack_ was born.”, Haley said.

“Well... that’s what I was getting to actually. With Sean basically living with us, he’ll be able to help out a lot more which he’s very excited to do. But also... I’m planning on retiring.”, he said.

“You’re _retiring?_ ”, she asked.

“I know I didn’t do it before and I regret not taking more time off but after everything that’s happened the past few years... I’ve really seen how much I’ve gotten out of this job and it’s taken a toll on me, taken a lot _from_ me, I want to be there for Jack more. Everyday. All day. And Sean can be there too so Jack is constantly surrounded by attention he’s needed for a while. And of course for the baby. Emily is planning on going back to work. But I’m gonna stay home with the kids, I _will_ be there for Jack more than ever before. I’ve almost _died_ quite a few times because of this job even just in the past few years and neither of my kids should grow up without their father. It’s time. I’m ready. This is a _good_ thing, Haley.”, he said quietly at the end.

“Wow... I feel like I have so many questions on that but bottom line... I’m _thrilled_ you’re going to be at home and there for Jack all the time. Not that you _need_ to but I think that’s the best thing for him.”, Haley nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’m looking forward to this more than I ever have with anything else. Dropping him off and picking him up from school everyday. Being able to make him dinner and give him a bath every night before reading him a book and tucking him in. Knowing that I will definitely be there and not have to feel bad about coming home late or worry about getting called in to work at any time.”, he said.

“That’s really great. What are you gonna do everyday though while he’s at school?”, she asked.

“Take care of the baby but I’ve thought about maybe consulting on cases but from home. Maybe setting up a little home office in one of the empty rooms.”, he said.

“That would be great for you. You get bored very easily. And I know how much you’d miss working. He kind of can’t stay away from it.”, she laughed, looking at Emily.

“Yeah, he really can’t.”, Emily said, trying to laugh along with both of them.

Hotch sighed and looked at Haley. “I’m really sorry this is how everything went down.”, he said.

“It’s alright. How else would it have, right?”, Haley said.

“We could have told you sooner or made sure we told you before Jack could.”, he said.

“Well, it’s all worked out now.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, really. You guys are living your life. As you should... Does Jessica know?”, she asked.

“We were gonna tell her later today after we told you. We’re still gonna have her come by anytime she wants to see Jack after the baby is born especially because I’ll be home all the time. But we won’t need her to watch him all the time or anything. We’ll still need her now until the baby comes but afterwards, we won’t. Maybe occasionally if Sean isn’t available and something comes up but I don’t expect her to watch the _baby_ at any point.”, he said.

“She might be willing to if you need and Jack is there but yeah, talk to her. Let her know and I’m sure it’ll all be worked out.”, she said.

“Alright, sounds good.”, he said.

“Where _is_ Jack? He’s been up there forever.”, Emily said.

“I bet he’s in the bathroom. Tom got him some new comic books and he keeps a couple in the bathroom for when he goes _number two_. I swear, sometimes Jack goes in and just stays there even after he’s done just because he gets so distracted looking at the books.”, Haley laughed, walking upstairs. They heard her knock on the bathroom door, talking to Jack. “Jack, daddy and Emily are here. You can take some of the comic books with you in the car but finish up please.”

“Hold on!”, Jack called.

Downstairs, Emily and Hotch were laughing while they watched Haley sigh and roll her eyes as she walked back downstairs.

“Well, he’ll be down in a minute. _Probably_.”, she said.

“Great. I can actually grab his bag and some of his stuff from upstairs and bring it to the car for him.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”, she said as he headed upstairs.

Leaving Emily and Haley alone, they both stood there, silent for what felt like too long.

“Haley-“, Emily started.

“If you’re about to apologize, don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re... in love... and you’re having a kid and buying a house and getting married. That’s normal to do. That’s a normal thing. Although it feels weird for _me,_ it shouldn’t for _you_ because this is normal for you. If that makes sense at all.”, Haley said.

“It does. But... I can understand how it feels weird for you. If I were you... god... I don’t even know. Especially with Aaron retiring... I know he didn’t do that before and it must be hard to understand why he is now. Why he didn’t last time. But... he told me that he regrets not doing it last time and feels bad leaving you at home to do it all by yourself basically. He learned from that. He just wants to do better this time. And not just for the baby. For Jack too.”, Emily said.

“I know but also... I see the way he is with you and even if he doesn’t say something out loud or do something to make how he feels obvious... I just know. I mean, I _know_ him. And so when I could first tell how in love with you he was, I really didn’t know how to feel about it. But it’s been a few years, I know we’ve both moved on for a while now and I’ll always care for him because well... he was my best friend for years, he was my husband, and he’s the father of my child. But I don’t love him like that anymore and I haven’t for a while and I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable by saying all of this...”, Haley laughed. “But although all of those things are true, I see how he is with you and although he was great to me... it’s different with you. _He’s_ different with you. In a way I’ve never seen him before. So, coming from someone who cares about him, thank you for bringing joy into his life because I never wanted him to be miserable. He deserves a lot of good. And that’s you and you deserve a lot of good as well and it seems like he is that for you. I care about you both a lot and although, I don’t think I’ll be there for the wedding or in the waiting room when the baby comes, I’m still glad you guys have a safe and happy life because for a while I know it wasn’t. And also thank you for being an amazing parent to Jack. I know I’m his mother but you’re a parent to him as well and soon, you’ll be his stepmom as odd as that sounds.”, she laughed again. “You take care of him and love him so much and I’m really grateful that he’s able to grow up being surrounded by so much of it from so many people.”

“You’re gonna make me cry.”, Emily laughed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”, Haley laughed.

“I know we used to be closer and moving has definitely created this distance and I realize all of this may take some time for you to process but... you’re really important to me and I do miss our wine and cheeseboard nights.”, Emily said.

“I know... me too. Maybe sometime you guys come out again, we can go out for dinner or something.”, Haley said.

“That’d be nice.”, Emily smiled.

“But yeah, I definitely haven’t processed all of this yet.”, Haley said, looking down while Emily nodded until they heard Hotch come downstairs with Jack. 

“Hey, we’re all ready to go.”, Hotch said.

“Emmy.”, Jack said, walking over to her and hugging her legs. She picked him up and held him on her side.

“Here are some snacks for him for the road.”, Haley said, handing them to Hotch.

“Thanks.”, he said.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, sweetie. I’ll call you later this week, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, Jack said, leaning over to her and letting her kiss his cheek. 

“I love you.”, she told him. “Drive safe”

“We will.”, Hotch said.

“I love you too, mommy.”, Jack waved as she let them out.

They walked down the steps and got in the car, dropping his backpack on the seat next to Jack. They buckled him in his car seat before getting in themselves up front. Hotch started the car and they buckled their seatbelts, both letting out a huge breath.

“That wasn’t exactly what I expected to happen.”, Emily said.

“Yeah... I’m sorry. It must’ve-“, he started.

“It’s fine. Really. We’re okay. She just needs some time to take it all in.”, she said.

“Yeah. I know. Still though.”, he said, taking her hand and looking at her.

“Come on, let’s just go home.”, she said.

He nodded and let go of her hand, driving off.

—————

  
  


Four weeks later, Emily and Hotch had started moving into the new house. They had begun painting Sean’s studio before he moved his _own_ things in. They had _their_ beds and _Jack’s_ bed brought to the house along with their couch and some other furniture. 

With Emily being a bit further along, Hotch only had her carry small boxes and made sure she took lots of breaks. Her bump had become much larger just in the past four weeks, now being 20 weeks in, she was halfway and it finally looked like a really baby bump to her. Although it was exciting for them, it meant more maternity clothes which JJ was willing to lend her some of from when she had Henry. Emily was just glad that JJ actually had good style because she had only been able to find a few outfits that were cute while out shopping.

On Saturday, they had two other beds arrive, each one put in the extra rooms downstairs with Sean’s help. While they had just enough moved in and since their beds were there, they had spent a few nights in the house already. JJ, Will, Derek, and Penelope had all come over to help unpack almost all of the rest of their boxes and hook up their tv’s, seeing as none of them had anything to do that weekend.

When they all showed up, Jack ran out the front door and started going down the stairs fast to greet them. While Hotch was in the kitchen with Sean, Emily saw Jack fly right by her from the living room and immediately went after him. 

“Jack, don’t run out there!”, she said, following him out the front door and going as fast as she could down the stairs safely. He stopped on the sidewalk, leaning back against the white picket fence that he was almost the same height as. It stood where the end of the small grass hill of the backyard was and allowing easy access to it.

He faced the cars parking in front of their sidewalk, staring at Derek and Penelope getting out of his car. Along with JJ and Will getting out of _theirs_. Emily rushed over to him and bent down.

“Jack, you can’t run out of the house like that. Especially not down these stairs when it leads to concrete at the bottom. And _especially_ without me or daddy or Uncle Sean or another grown up here going with you.”, she said.

“I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Okay. It’s fine, just don’t do it again, alright?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said before running up to Derek who picked him and spun him around in the air. He sat him on his shoulder and reached his hand up to Jack for a high five.

“Hey. _Nice_ house... Da-ng. You got a huge backyard and everything.”, Derek said, catching himself before he cursed in front of Jack.

“Yeah, it’s pretty great. Come on up, I’ll show you guys around.”, Emily said, walking up the stairs and leading everyone inside.

“Hardwood floors!”, Penelope said when they stepped inside.

“Wow, _Em_. This is amazing.”, JJ said.

“You haven’t even seen the rest of the house.”, Emily said.

“Still. This is great.”, JJ said.

“Aaron and Sean are in the kitchen, fixing some cabinets but they can move.”, Emily said, motioning for everyone to follow her. 

They followed her through to the kitchen and scooted past Hotch and Sean. 

“Oh, hey guys.” Hotch said, setting his tools down and walking over to Emily. “I heard you calling after Jack a few minutes ago. What’d he do?”

“He just ran outside by himself but I told him not to do it anymore and now he knows better.”, Emily said, looking at Jack who turned his head and looked around, avoiding eye contact.

“Ah. I’m sorry, I was in here and I didn’t-“, he said.

“It’s okay. I had it. You just keep fixing that. I’m gonna show them around and then we’ll bring some stuff in from the truck.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, kissing her cheek and walking back over to Sean.

Emily led them into the extra bedroom right off the kitchen. “So this is an extra bedroom we can use as a guest room but Aaron might also use it as an office after he retires.”, Emily said.

“ _What?_ ”, Derek said.

“ _Hotch is retiring?!_ ”, Penelope said.

“Darn... I didn’t mean to blurt that out. He was gonna tell you guys soon...”, Emily said.

“When is he retiring?!”, Penelope asked.

“After the baby comes...”, Emily said.

“No! He’s the Unit Chief! He can’t leave!”, Penelope said.

“You’ll still see him all the time and _I’m_ gonna come back.”, Emily said.

“But who’s gonna take his place?”, Penelope pouted.

“He has a couple ideas but I think I’ve already said enough.”, Emily said.

“I’m gonna love that baby so much but I kind of hate you right now.”, Penelope said, making Emily laugh.

“Penelope, you can come over anytime you want and babysit. We’re not leaving you guys. He’s just going to stay at home with the kids. And knowing him, he won’t be able to completely stay away. I’m sure he’ll pop in quite often... _with_ the baby.”, Emily said.

“But he’s the best Unit Chief. Like... nobody can replace him...”, Derek said and Emily sighed.

“Aaron!”, she called out.

“Yeah, hun.”, he said.

“Can you come here?”, she asked.

“Not right this second.”, he said.

“He’s holding this piece in place for me and can’t let go right now.”, Sean said.

“Okay, well... he’ll explain everything to you guys later. But for now... there’s the bed and that’s it for all we have put in here right now. There’s the bathroom right here and the sliding glass door to the backyard. I feel like Jack would love this room when he’s older but...”, Emily said and leaned into them so Jack couldn’t hear from being high up on Derek’s shoulders. “... it looks pretty easy to sneak out of.”

“I did quite a bit of that myself when I was younger but I turned out fine.”, Derek said.

“Remind me to never take parenting advice from you.”, Emily laughed.

“I can’t lie and say I never did either.”, Will said. 

“Same.”, JJ said.

“I wouldn’t _sneak out_ as much as I would just stay out past curfew but I never did that again after my parents passed away.”, Penelope said.

“Seriously? All you guys?”, Emily asked.

“It’s a normal thing. Lots of teenagers do it. I guess you were just too much of a goody two-shoes for any of that.”, Derek said

“ _I was not! I rebelled_.”, Emily said.

“Oh yeah? What crazy things did _you_ ever do as a kid?”, Derek asked.

“Lots of stuff.”, Emily said.

“Girl, you are a bad liar.”, Derek laughed.

“I fooled you for a few years about being a spy, didn’t I?”, she raised an eyebrow.

“Totally different.”, Derek said.

“Mmhmm.”, she said with some attitude as she walked out to the backyard where Derek set Jack down and let him run around and roll down the little hill.

“What are you gonna do with this space?”, Will asked.

“Well, Jack wants a soccer net and we also have a mini basketball hoop about Jack’s size that my parents got him for Christmas. We might put that out here or out front on the sidewalk. Aaron had the idea to build a treehouse with a swing set to the side of it and maybe we’ll put a little table and some chairs here right outside the doors. I want a fire pit but I don’t know where we would put that.”, Emily said.

“What about on the front porch?”, Will asked.

“Mmm no... I thought that maybe we would put some stone tiles or slab right here and build a mini wall or border around it just a foot or two high surrounding it and that’s where we could have a small fire pit.”, Emily said.

“That’s a good idea. If you need help with that, I’ve built one before.”, Will said.

“I fix up houses so... I can help too.”, Derek said.

“Thanks. I might take you guys up on that actually.”, Emily said.

“Do you guys have a fireplace?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, it’s right by the couch where the tv is gonna go. Some boxes were blocking it when you walked in. Let me show you upstairs though.”, Emily said, walking over to Jack. “Wanna go show them your room?”, she asked him.

“Yeah!”, Jack shouted, jumping up and down. He ran inside and out of the kitchen to the staircase. They all followed after and met him upstairs in his room. 

“ _Wow. Jack._ This might just be one of the coolest rooms I’ve ever seen.”, JJ said.

“Why don’t you show them everything?”, Emily said as he walked over to his bed. 

“This is my bed. That’s my closet. This is my bathroom.”, Jack said, walking over to each thing. He went over to one of his windows and pointed out of it. “You can see the street.”, he said.

“Whoa, look at that.”, JJ said.

“And also...”, he said, running to the window on the other side of his room. “You can see the grass.”, he showed them, pointing to the backyard. 

“Wow, that’s so awesome!”, Penelope said.

Jack grinned and hopped on his bed, immediately beginning to jump on it.

“Hey, hey, hey. No dirty shoes on the bed.”, Emily said, helping him down.

“Look at you being a mom.”, Derek said.

Emily rolled her eyes and walked them over to her and Hotch’s room. 

“Okay, this is seriously an amazing space.”, Penelope said.

“So, the bed is there, against the wall in the middle, facing the door. We’ll put our dresser here on the left, right when you walk in, against the wall, facing the bed. And we’ll have the tv sitting on top. Then there’s all this space between the dresser and the bed and on each sides of the bed between it on the walls. Since the bathroom and closet are on that side, we’ll probably put the crib on this side, to the left.”, Emily said.

“Sweet closet.”, JJ said.

“Walk-in closet was definitely a plus.”, Emily said.

“So how long is the baby gonna sleep in here?”, Penelope asked.

“Apparently six to twelve months.”, Emily said.

“Wow. So where is she gonna sleep when she isn’t in _here_ anymore?”, Penelope asked.

“There’s a couple different options. One is that she could take Jack’s room he’s in now and _he_ could take one of the rooms downstairs. Probably the one right at the bottom of the staircase because it’s closest to everyone else and the one in the kitchen could still be used as a guest room or office because it’s further away from our rooms. But he might like that room when he’s older and wants to be not as close to us and it’s a bigger room too. But if he doesn’t want to sleep downstairs and wants to stay in the room he has now, we might just have the baby sleep in his room. He said it sounds fun to share a room probably because he hasn’t grown up with another sibling yet and is really excited to. Also, she’ll be sleeping through the night at that point. But I mean, this is all still at least a year away so we’ll see.”, Emily said.

“I had to share a room with one of my sisters for a while when I was little. It was kind of fun having a roommate. I would even have tea parties and play dolls with her. But she also loved to play with _my_ video games and look at my comic books while I’d read the words to her. It was fun. Growing up with and being comfortable around females was pretty important. I learned a lot. I think it’s a good thing.”, Derek said.

“That’s what Aaron said. That last part. I totally agree and I think Jack will become a very respectful man.”, Emily said.

“Also a lady killer.”, Penelope giggled. “Oh my god. Not an actual one. I meant like charming and attractive. I realize we see _literal_ lady killers everyday at our job.”

“I get what you meant, Penelope.”, Emily laughed and walked out to grab Jack from his room to bring him downstairs with them.

When they reached the kitchen Emily looked for Hotch and Sean but didn’t see them. 

“Where are they?”, JJ asked.

“Maybe down at the truck, bringing things in.”, Emily said, walking outside and going down the stairs. Hotch and Sean were taking out a large dresser from the U-haul truck they’d rented. 

“Hey, lemme help you guys there.”, Derek said, running up to them.

“Thanks.”, Hotch said.

“Will. Would you give us a hand?”, Derek asked.

“Yeah.”, Will said, helping them lift it.

They managed to get it inside and stopped to take a second before bringing it upstairs into Emily and Hotch’s bedroom.

When they came back down, Emily got a bottle of water for Hotch who walked up to her, out of breath. He leaned in for a kiss but she pulled back.

“What?”, he asked.

“You’re stinky.”, she said.

“Wha- come on. Give me a break, I’ve been moving stuff and fixing things all day.”, he said.

“It has _not_ been all day. It’s only lunch time.”, she said.

“Oh my god.”, he rolled his eyes. 

“ _But_ ... I _did_ get you a bottle of water.”, she said, handing it to him.

“ _Thank you._ ”, he said, taking it and chugging half of it. “Have _you_ been drinking enough water today?”

“I’ve been-“, she started but he handed her the water bottle and gave her a look.

“Em. Drink. You need to be staying hydrated.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said, taking a few sips of the water. She placed her hand on his face and gave him a kiss. 

“I thought I was stinky.”, he said.

“You’re worth it. Just don’t _hug_ me until after you’ve showered.”, she laughed.

“Deal.”, he laughed, holding her face with one hand and kissing her deep.

“So what next?”, she asked.

“You’re not carrying anything big inside so just take some light boxes. Maybe ones with our clothes and Jack’s toys.”, he said.

“I can carry some other things.”, she said.

“ _No_. Nothing heavier than a box with our clothes in it. Alright? No heavy lifting right now.”, he said.

“Ugh fine.”, she sighed.

“Hey. I’m just keeping both of you healthy and safe.”, he said, putting his hand on her bump.

“I know. I just feel like I can’t do _anything_ anymore. I can’t even go for jogs anymore. Not since she’s gotten bigger.”, she said.

“But you can still workout.”, he said.

“I’m very limited with what I can do.”, she said.

“I’ll do some yoga with you tomorrow if you want.”, he said.

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah. Why not.”, he said.

“You must really love me.”, she said.

“No. I just don’t hate yoga. But I _do_ love you as well.”, he chuckled.

“I love you too.”, she smiled, giving him one more kiss before handing him the water bottle and walking down to the truck. 

She grabbed a box with some of their clothes in it and brought it inside, walking upstairs to their room. She set the box down and cut it open with a box cutter. Setting it off to the side, she opened it up more and started pulling some clothes out. It was filled with their pajamas so she set them on the bed and began refolding them. 

All of a sudden, she stopped when she felt something strange in her stomach. She couldn’t explain it but it wouldn’t go away after a minute. She stayed where she was standing and once she heard Hotch walking up the stairs with Sean, she turned her head. She could tell they were bringing up the tv because of the footsteps and how slow they were going. Not to mention, the way they were talking, slightly out of breath. When they got to the last few stairs, she got his attention.

“Aaron?”, she said.

“Yeah, babe.”, he tried to get out.

“Come here.”, she said.

“I am. Hold on.”, he said.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said more urgently.

“Honey, hold on. I’m walking backwards up the stairs. I’m almost at the top.”, he said.

Starting to panic a bit, she felt tears forming in her eyes and kept her hands placed on her stomach. When Hotch walked in, he backed up, holding one side of the flat screen while Sean held the other side.

“ _Aaron_.”, she said and once he heard the worry in her voice and the sniffling, he set the tv down before they could put it on top of the dresser.

“Honey, what is it?”, he asked, rushing over to her, while Sean managed to lift the tv onto the dresser by himself and began hooking it up.

“There’s this weird feeling in my stomach and it just... something doesn’t feel right. I can’t explain it but I think there’s something’s wrong with the baby.”, she said, trying not to cry more.

“What? What is it? Did- did something happen or-“, he said, placing his hands on her bump.

“No, I was just unpacking and then my stomach felt all weird and...”, she sighed, “Something’s wrong.” While she was crying, he started smiling and laughing. “ _Don’t laugh at me!_ ”, she cried. 

“Sweetie, I’m not laughing at you. This is _good_. There’s nothing wrong. Here.”, he said, taking her hand and guiding it to an area on her stomach. “You feel that?”

“Yeah?”, she sniffled.

“ _That’s the baby kicking._ ”, he said.

“What?”, she said, tearing up again.

“ _That’s our daughter... kicking._ ”, he said slowly, smiling at her.

“ _Really?_ ”, she said, voice wobbly.

“ _Yes, really._ Quite a bit.”, he laughed in amazement. She sat down on the edge of the bed while he got on by her side, crossing one leg on it and letting his other hang off. He kept one hand next to hers on her stomach with the other holding _her_ other.

“She’s actually kicking?”, she asked.

“ _Yes_.”, he said.

“God, that feels so weird. I was so scared something was wrong.”, she said, taking deep breaths, calming down.

“Sean. Come here.”, Hotch said.

He ran over and squatted by her side. “Is the baby _actually_ kicking?!”, Sean asked.

“ _Apparently_.”, she said, taking his hand. “Feel.”, she said, placing it on her stomach.

“Whoa! She’s _strong_.”, Sean chuckled.

“Maybe she’ll play soccer _too_.” Hotch said.

“I’m sure Jack would love to teach her.”, Sean said.

“Ohhh that’d be so cute.”, Emily said, tearing up again.

“ _Honey_.”, Hotch chuckled, wrapping his arm around her and holding the side of her head, kissing it.

“I hate these stupid hormones!”, she cried.

“Do you want me to get you something? _Anything?_ ”, Sean asked.

“I could really go for a milkshake right now.”, she said.

“There’s a McDonald’s a few minutes away. I can go grab one.”, Sean said.

“No. There’s a better place up the street at that little diner.”, she said.

“Okay, I’ll go right now. Chocolate?”, Sean asked.

“What else would you get?! _Vanilla?!_ Only boring people like vanilla!”, she practically yelled.

“ _Hey_ . _I_ like vanilla.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah and I make fun of you all the time for it.”, she said.

“God, you’re _horrible_ to me.”, he laughed, kissing the side of her head again.

“No, I’m _not!_ I _love you!_ ”, she cried.

“Dude, you’re making it worse.”, Sean said.

“Just go get her shake.”, Hotch said, pulling a ten dollar bill out of his pocket.

“No, I got it. It’s all good.”, Sean said.

“Are you sure?”, Hotch asked.

“It’s like five bucks at most. It’s cool, I got it.”, Sean said, starting to walk out of the room. “I’ll be back.”, he called out as he went down the stairs.

“Hey, hey.”, Hotch hushed her. “It’s okay.”, he whispered, placing his hand on her stomach and rubbing it.

“Ugh this is all your fault.”, she said.

“What, it’s my fault you're _pregnant_ or that you’re _crying?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Both_.”, she said.

“Okay, it’s _half_ my fault that you’re pregnant. Like you said before... _it takes two_. Besides, you’re saying this like something horrible happened and you’re looking for someone to blame.”, he laughed. 

“Shut up. You _know_ I don’t think this is horrible. I’m more than happy to be having a baby. To be having _your_ baby. I _love_ our daughter.”, she said, turning her head to face him.

“I’ll never get used to hearing either of us say that.”, he smiled, wiping her tears away. He touched his forehead to hers and kissed her nose. “I love you more than words can describe, Em.”

“Aaron, _stop_. I just stopped crying.”, she said.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Did you wanna finish unpacking this box? I can help you if you want.”, he said, rubbing her leg.

“It’s okay. I’ve got it. Where was Jack before you came up here?”, she asked.

“Out in the back playing with the soccer ball with Will.”, he said.

“ _Out in the back._ I love how we can say that now. Now that we have a backyard.”, she said.

“Oh god, he loves it. I wanna start that treehouse soon but it seems like more of a summer project. But the baby’s due then.”, he said.

“We’ll find time.”, she said.

“We should probably go back down there so they don’t think we’ve abandoned them.”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she said, standing up with his help.

They went downstairs to find Derek hooking up the tv in the living room and JJ walking up with Penelope from outside, carrying some boxes in.

“Hey, where were you guys?”, JJ asked.

“Sean was helping me put the tv in the bedroom while Emily was folding some clothes but...”, Hotch smiled at Emily with his arm around her back.

“The baby kicked for the first time.”, Emily said shyly.

“Oh my god! Is she kicking _right now?_ ”, Penelope asked.

“No. Good thing too. I was getting very emotional and I can’t do anymore crying right now.”, Emily laughed. “But I’m sure she will later.”

“Wasn’t it one of the most wild feelings ever?”, JJ asked.

“Yeah, you could definitely say that.”, Emily said.

“I came into the room and she was crying, going on about how she thought something was wrong with the baby.”, Hotch laughed. “You really scared me at first, you know that?”, he said to Emily.

“I’m the one with the baby in my uterus! I was a little more freaked than you!”, Emily said.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.”, he said, kissing the side of her head.

“Where’d Sean go? We saw him practically run out of here, speeding off once he got in his car.”, Derek said.

“He was running?”, Emily laughed.

“Yeah, he looked like he was chasing after an unsub.”, Derek chuckled.

“He went to go get Emily a milkshake.”, Hotch laughed.

“A milkshake?”, Derek asked.

“Cravings are intense right now.”, Emily said.

“It’s true. They peak during the second trimester.”, JJ said.

“What’s the weirdest one you’ve had so far?”, Penelope asked.

“I haven’t had any _weird_ ones but... peanut butter. All the time. On almost anything. But it’s the best when I just slather a bunch on a piece of soft white bread. I’ll just eat that straight. Also Oreos. Oh! Peanut butter on Oreos. Maybe that one is a little weird but.”, Emily shrugged her shoulders. “Also lots of spicy food. The baby never really seems to like it but I’m always _craving_ it. But _milkshakes_ ... I’m _always_ craving milkshakes.”

“It’s true. The past few weeks, I’ve just been buying a bunch of ice cream and milk so I can make her some at home instead of going out to buy them every time.”, Hotch said.

“You’ve gotten really good at getting the consistency and texture just right.”, Emily said.

“I _should_ . I’ve _easily_ made more than fifty of them by now.”, Hotch said.

“But right now, we don’t have anything in the fridge or pantry yet other than water and beer so we’ve been going out or ordering in the past few nights.”, Emily said.

“Uh... Hotch... Emily said you’re retiring...”, Derek said, catching her off guard and making her look off to the side once she saw Hotch start to turn and face her.

“ _Did she now?_ ”, Hotch said.

“Is it true? Are you really leaving?”, Derek asked.

“I was going to tell you guys soon. I promise. But... it’s just too crazy now. My life is too crazy. I’ve seen enough, I’ve done enough. I just want to be home with my kids all the time now instead of missing birthdays and holidays to be in another state, doing dangerous things instead of with them, celebrating and spending time with them and watching them grow up. I don’t want to miss out on anymore. You guys will always be my family and _Emily_ isn’t leaving so I’ll come by a lot. And you guys are always welcome here, regardless of either of us working there or not.”, Hotch said.

“Who’s taking your place?”, Derek asked.

“I uh- I don’t know that yet. I’ve spoken to Strauss about it but we haven’t selected anyone yet, but there’s still a few months before we need to.”, Hotch said.

“That baby better be cute if she’s taking you away from us. It better be worth it.”, Derek laughed.

“It’d be impossible to have an ugly baby with Emily. No matter who the father would be. She’s just so beautiful. I know our little girl is going to look just like her mom.”, Hotch said, giving Emily a kiss when she looked at him again.

“You’re not too bad yourself.”, Emily giggled, leaning into him.

“We’re gonna unpack these in the kitchen now. But keep talking, we’re listening.”, JJ said, carrying the boxes her and Penelope were holding, into the kitchen.

“Well, I’m sure she’ll be cute then.”, Derek said.

“What if she’s _not...?_ ”, Emily said quietly.

“ _Emily_.”, Hotch said.

“ _What?!_ What if she’s really not that cute and we have to lie to her her whole life?”, she said.

“ _Emily!_ Oh my god!”, Hotch said.

“I know, I know. I’m gonna be a terrible mother.”, she said.

“No, honey. You’ll be great, just stop thinking our child is going to be _ugly!_ ”, Hotch said.

“ _I don’t think she will!_ It was just a concern I had about a possibility. But I know, she’ll be very cute.”, she said.

“She’ll be _beautiful_.”, Hotch said.

“Fine. So, Derek... when are _you_ gonna settle down with someone?”, she asked.

“Just looking for the right woman to come along. Obviously it wasn’t _you_.”, Derek laughed but then saw their faces. Hotch had raised his eyebrows and stared straight at Derek while Emily rolled her lips in and looked down for a moment before all around. After Derek could sense how awkward everyone felt, he tried to speak again. “Still too soon?”

“Why don’t you give Kayla a call?”, Emily said, trying to move on from what just happened. “She went out with Sean a few times but they never pursued anything. They kinda just stopped seeing each other.”

“Give me her number later and I will. Once again... sorry I tried setting up Hotch with her that first night. But I had no idea he was with you.”, Derek said.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all in the past. He’s mine and he knows it.”, she said, tugging on his shirt playfully.

“Only yours, hun.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Hotch, wanna help me with Jack’s dresser? I think we can get it just the two of us, it’s small enough.”, Derek said.

“Sure.”, Hotch said, starting to walk outside but turned around when Emily began to follow. “No. No heavy lifting.”

“I’m not! I’m just coming down to grab another box so I can unpack more all at once.”, she said, walking down the stairs.

When they walked down and got to the truck, another one pulled up. A delivery man hopped out and opened the back, unloading one giant package along with multiple other boxes. And setting them on the sidewalk right next to them.

“Um, excuse me. What are all these?”, Hotch asked the delivery man.

“Is this the residence of Emily Prentiss and... Aaron Hotchner?”, he asked, reading a paper from his clipboard.

“Yes?”, Hotch said.

“These are all for you.”, the delivery man said.

“No, no. We didn’t order anything from anywhere.”, Hotch said.

“They’re from... um... let me see... ah. Right there. Okay, they’re from Elizabeth Prentiss it says.”, the delivery man said.

“What?”, Emily said, stepping forward.

“If one of you could just sign for it.”, the delivery man said, holding out his clipboard. 

“Um... sure.”, Hotch said, taking it and signing the paper, handing it back to him.

“Great. Did you need help bringing anything up?”, the delivery man asked.

“No. We’re good. Moving lots of things today, got quite a few extra set of hands.”, Hotch said.

“Alright, have a good day.”, the delivery man said, hopping back in the truck and driving off.

“What the hell _is_ all of this?”, Emily said.

“I don’t know...”, Hotch said.

“Let’s bring them inside.”, Derek said right as Sean pulled up in his car and got out, holding a milkshake. 

“I’m here, I’m here. I have the shake. I’m sorry, there was a line for to-go orders but I’m here and it’s not all melty yet.”, Sean said, walking it over to Emily. 

She grabbed it and took a big sip through the straw, closing her eyes. “Mmmm. _So good_. I love you so much!”, she said, giving Sean a hug. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, love you too.”, he chuckled.

“Can I have a _sip?_ ”, Hotch asked. Emily looked at him and raised her eyebrows, letting him know she wanted it all for herself. “Oh come on, not even a sip?”

“Fine. A _sip_.”, Emily said, pointing the straw to Hotch’s mouth.

“Mmm. That _is_ a good shake.”, Hotch said, taking a sip. He tried to take another but Emily pulled it away from him.

“Hey!”, she said.

“I can’t have _one more sip?!_ ”, Hotch said.

“Until your hormones are surging throughout your body and have intense pregnancy cravings, you don’t get a sip of a milkshake unless you get your own!”, she said.

“You’re _so mean to me._ Remind me why I put up with this?”, Hotch said.

“Because you love me and I’m bringing our child into the world.”, she said.

“Oh. Right. Almost forgot those.”, Hotch chuckled. Emily smacked his arm and continued drinking.

“What are all these?”, Sean asked.

“They’re some packages from my mother apparently.”, she said.

“Well, let’s bring ‘em up.”, Sean said, grabbing one side of the largest package while Derek helped on the other side. 

Emily and Hotch brought the rest up and placed everything in the living room on the floor.

“What do we open first?”, Emily asked.

“How about this big one.”, Hotch said, pulling out a box cutter from the back pocket of his jeans and cutting it open. He cut it on all sides so the cardboard fell down instead of them having to lift the package out.

“She did not.”, Emily laughed but not so happy.

“Whoa, what’d you get there?”, JJ asked as she stepped out to the living room to look at what was going on.

“My mother sent us a crib...”, Emily said, shaking her head.

“Oh wow, that’s a _really_ nice one. That was thoughtful of her.”, JJ said. 

“ _Thoughtful... my mother._.. those two don’t really mix.”, Emily said.

“Honey, she’s happy about this.”, Hotch said.

“How would you know?”, Emily asked.

“Because she sent this and also... she told me so on Christmas.”, Hotch said.

“What are you talking about?”, Emily said.

“When I went back inside for my phone before we left, I went to show her the ring and I gave her this long speech and told her we want her in our daughter’s life. She asked if it was a girl and I told her we didn’t know but that’s what we were hoping for. She asked to see pictures so I showed her them. She asked me to send them to her so I said I would. And she said a granddaughter would be nice as well and that she was happy for us. She just couldn’t deal with it all then.”, Hotch said.

“You never told me that.”, Emily said.

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me for going back to talk to her, but Emily, bottom line... she is happy for us and she’s obviously supporting us with this decision we’ve made to start a family together.”, Hotch said.

“So tell me why she hasn’t answered or returned any of my calls in the past few months. She hasn’t spoken a word to me in any way since Christmas night when I told her I was pregnant. She hasn’t reached out at all.”, Emily said.

“She’s reaching out right now.”, Hotch said.

“She’s giving us gifts. Once again... knows how to spoil... not how to actually care.”, Emily said. 

“That’s not true.”, Hotch said.

“I can’t accept this. We need to send it back.”, Emily said.

“Let’s just see what everything else is first.”, Hotch said.

As they opened the other boxes, they found a high chair, a little bathtub for the baby, some onesies, little shoes and beanies with blankets and a few stuffed animals packed in with them. There was also a pink mobile for the crib that had little birds hanging down. Lastly, they discovered a stroller, a car seat, and an infant rocker seat with a toy bar attached. 

Emily stood there in awe of what they’d received from her mother and then suddenly became furious. When Hotch looked over at her, he knew exactly what she was feeling especially because he knew she cried whenever she got angry since the pregnancy.

“Could you guys give us a minute? Jack is still outside with Will. Derek, could you bring his little basketball hoop up to them from the truck? You can just go over the fence to the backyard from there.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. Sure thing.”, Derek said as he walked out front to do so while everyone else went out to the backyard, leaving Emily and Hotch alone.

“ _Em_...”, he said, standing up and walking over to her with her arms crossed. He could see her clenching her jaw and looking away as he approached her. “Honey, look at me.”, he said, holding onto her arms.

“What...”, she said through her teeth, finally looking at him.

“I know this is a lot but-“, he said.

“We’re sending it all back.”, she said.

“No. We are absolutely _not_ sending it all back. We aren’t sending _any_ of it back. She took the time to look at all of these things and was generous enough to get them for us.”, he said.

“Aaron. She doesn’t get to ignore me for months but then do _this_ and expect me to be okay with the fact that she’s not _speaking_ to me! I can’t act like nothing’s going on. _I can’t accept this stuff!_ ”, she said.

“Well, I’m making a call here and I say we aren’t giving it back.”, he said.

“Well, I don’t agree with that. I don’t feel comfortable keeping any of this.”, she said.

“Honey, you deserve all of this stuff. Just take it.”, he said, bending down and grabbing the elephant stuffed animal. “Feel how soft. She’s gonna love it. And look how cute these are.”, he said, holding up one of the onesies that said _“Of course I’m cute. Look at my daddy.”_ , with a pair of little shoes.

“You really don’t get it, do you?”, she said, walking away and going upstairs.

“Emily...”, he said, standing still for a second before he set everything back in the boxes except for the stuffed elephant and followed after her upstairs to find her sitting on the edge of the bed. He walked over to the bed and sat beside her, looking at her lap where _her_ eyes were directed. He waited for her to speak or even look up at him but when she didn’t, he tried. “Tell me.”

“Aaron-“, she said.

“Tell me. _I don’t get it,_ so _tell me._ ”, he said. When she became silent again, he brought the stuffed animal to the side of her face and pretended to make it talk. “ _Please?_ ”, he said in a silly voice, nuzzling the elephant on her cheek. “ _Pretty_ please?”

She turned to face him and he pretended to have it give her a kiss on the cheek, finally making her quietly laugh and take it from him. She held onto it in her lap and sighed, playing with its ears.

“You said it a while ago and I know you regretted it afterwards and said you didn’t mean a lot of it but... a lot of what you said _was_ true. I was spoiled as a kid. I grew up privileged. I had more than most kids. I went to private school, I traveled everywhere and even _lived_ in other countries. _I learned how to speak six other languages!_ We had money... the main house I grew up in was a mansion. We could afford housekeepers and security staff. My parents were and still are very well known in their field. Especially my mother, she has so many connections all around and her image is everything. She gave me almost whatever I wanted except the most important thing... _love and attention. Nurturing. Comfort_ and a sense of _safety_ . She was always too busy for me. I’m not saying she doesn’t love me. I know she does. She just doesn’t know how to show it so she buys me things which is nice but not when it doesn’t truly mean something or not when she isn’t speaking to me. She always had things _gotten_ for me and had things _done_ for me when I was younger. I never really got to be independent or try out stupid things as a kid. But the one time I did... I got pregnant and...”, she took a deep breath and sighed, “... and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through and I felt so lost because I couldn’t tell my mom and... I’d never done anything by myself. I was always _by_ myself but things were always done _for_ me if that makes sense. So being alone and not having anyone to help me or _anything_ ... I was terrified. I knew if I told my mom, she’d probably force me to keep it or just not get an abortion at least. Make me go off to some boarding school for nine months and figure out what to do from there. Her image was everything but religion has always been an important part of her life as well. If she knew I had an abortion back then... I honestly don’t know if she would ever forgive me. Especially if she found out I’ve had _two_...”, she said, lowering her head and continuing to play with the stuffed animal.

“Em...”, Hotch said.

“That’s why this baby is so important.”, she said, putting a hand on her stomach. “We’re actually _having_ this one and excited about it and building a family and I made sure my mom never found out about the other two. I finally wanted to have one and not hide it from her. To have it be a happy thing we gladly share with her and that she’s proud of. I just wanted her to see what I’ve done for myself without her or anyone else’s help and my life is actually pretty amazing right now. But she just doesn’t seem to care.”, she said.

“Emily, you’re one of the most independent people I know. I’ve never seen you let anyone do anything for you. You’re so stubborn because you’re independent and refuse to let others help which isn’t always a good thing but still.”, he said.

“I wasn’t always like this. I didn’t start to become this way until college...”, she said.

“Just found your way around in life suddenly or...”, he asked.

“Um... I never told you why Brayden and I broke up. Or what our relationship was like. You only know one version of him and tiny parts of the whole story.”, she said.

“I’m not sure I really need to know...”, he said.

“No. I should tell you, it shaped me into who I am today. It’s the reason I became this way. And it was the first real relationship where I loved someone. That’s important to tell you about or more specifically, why it ended.”, she said. 

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she nodded and took a deep breath.

* * *

**this chapter and the next was originally _one_ long chapter because it is all in one day but i split it up because the first half focuses a lot on the happy moving in parts mostly and the next one focuses a lot on emily resolving issues she has and hotch being there for her. closure for her is a big theme in the next chapter but i tried to do it in a nice way that resolved a lot of drama in the end that had been created before.**   
  


**but leave reviews for this one and the next part and let me know how you guys felt it was executed! thanks :)**


	92. Moving In and Closure pt. 2

**Chapter 92**

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


“It all started with me just wanting to get some connections and find good resources, knowing I wanted to work at Interpol and the FBI. For some reason, he took a liking to me and we started to meet up for coffee on campus almost everyday after classes to do some research he would help me with. Over time, we began talking more and more about our personal lives as we would stay out later and later and just got closer. Then one night we lost track of time and suddenly it was dark so he offered to walk me back to my dorm. While we were headed there, something made a noise and I jumped so he put his arm around me and I thought he would take it off once he realized nothing was there but he kept his arm around me until we got back to my dorm. I thought he was just being polite but when he rubbed my arm and pulled me in closer, I knew it was more than that. He wasn’t too straightforward but he was confident and experienced and just not awkward or hesitant like lots of guys my age were. So by that point, I’d obviously formed a crush. So did half of his students. But getting to know him, I began to see even more than just that so it was flattering for me to have an older man, especially one that’s an authority figure, take such an interest in me and not just for my looks. So when we got to my dorm that night, we stopped outside and stood there for a minute, not really sure what to do next. Not until he looked at me and the way his eyes kept moving all around my face and then from my lips to my eyes... I just knew what he was going to do and then he did it. He gently held my face and kissed me and a part of me always knew it was known as wrong and considered to be wrong but _I_ didn’t think it was. In that moment, all that was going through my head was... _I can’t believe my professor is actually kissing me right now._ But I was just so into him and young and stupid that I didn’t really think about anything else so I didn’t push him away. I eventually went up to my dorm room, barely able to sleep that night because of everything that had happened.”, she said.

“Em-“, he said.

“Please. I’ve never told _anybody any_ of this. _Ever_. Not even my therapist. I didn’t realize how much of an effect all of this has had on me throughout my life ever since... Please... just let me talk this out.”, she said, looking at him.

“Of course.”, he nodded, rubbing her leg.

“The next day, I was so eager to get to his class but he wasn’t there. I would’ve called him but I didn’t have his home number yet. So I impatiently waited until the next day and I was _so_ excited when I saw him in class. But he didn’t smile at me or anything the whole time. I just assumed it was because he was trying to be professional and didn’t want other students to get suspicious but I still worried. After class was over, I waited for everyone to leave before I walked up to him and when I did, he wouldn’t look at me so I touched his shoulder and he finally did. But in a way that made my smile drop and pull away from him. He told me it was a mistake what happened and that was literally it before he grabbed his things and just walked out. I felt so stupid. I knew a _bunch_ of college guys, guys my own age who wanted me. I was popular in a sense and... I was kind of hot.”, she said, making Hotch laugh with her.

“I _know_ you were.”, he said.

“Even though I knew all of that, I didn’t care because just that one guy I couldn’t have, hurt the most. I didn’t understand why he pulled away and I already had a hard time letting him in the way I had, so for him to just... leave like that... I felt... I don’t even know... I’m sorry, my therapist has been working on trying to help me _identify_ emotions but I don’t even know what this one was. I just felt abandoned almost. So I barely got through the rest of the day and just went to the coffee place by myself and sat outside, reading until it got dark. Before I started packing things up, he walked over and sat down right across from me, coming out of seemingly nowhere. He stared at me for a minute and then he apologized for how he had just walked away from me earlier. He said he’d made a mistake kissing me and that it was wrong. I tried to tell him that I didn’t care and part of me wanted to accept what he said, the apology part, but the other part was just too hurt and I felt like I was going to start crying so I quickly packed up and left him. I never even turned around. But a couple minutes later I was walking through campus and no one else was around and so I finally let myself just cry. All of a sudden, I heard him call my name and he walked up to me. I tried wiping my tears away but he held onto my arm and faced me. He seemed concerned which almost made me laugh because of what he told me earlier. He wiped the tears off my face and just held it, looking deep in them before he kissed me. I was so confused at that point but I just got so caught up in the moment and didn’t think about what might happen after. He invited me back to his place which was right off of the campus and so I went with him. His place was amazing. I remember being so impressed by all the old books he had and his really nice study and expensive scotch in a glass bottle in it. He was so sophisticated and it wasn’t just because of his age, you know? So I spent a while looking around in his study while he fixed me a drink. And I was only 20 at the time and growing up the way I did, I only ever had drinks like wine at nice dinners with my family and other people through my mom’s work. I’d have a scotch with my father sometimes when he had someone important there too and I’d act like the perfect daughter to them and join them in _his_ study to talk. So when Brayden poured me a drink that wasn’t some cheap beer or vodka like most college kids drank at parties, I felt like he saw me as much older. I realize now how that wasn’t great to kiss my professor and go to his house late at night and drink underage. But when he came up to me while I was looking at this one book... I remember he trailed his fingertip up my spine and that used to be one of my favorite things he did and now I can’t stand it when _anyone_ does it _because_ of that. He did that when he came to the BAU this last time a couple years ago. It sent chills down my spine and not the good kind and I felt so uncomfortable. Which was strange because I used to feel the complete opposite. But that night he did that, he moved my hair to the side right after and started kissing my neck. I remember feeling _lucky_ .”, she said, making a disgusted face. “ _Lucky_ that he liked _me_ , out of _all_ the girls crushing on him, he liked _me_ . I honestly can’t believe I didn’t stop him but instead, actually turned around to kiss him, letting him lead me to his bedroom. Even after our clothes were off, it didn’t feel wrong to me but it makes me sick just to think about _now_ .”, she said, tearing up. “He was the first man I actually ever loved. And I _hate_ that. Because although, I _did_ start a relationship with him after that night and it went on for almost a _year_... he always did so much for me. He always took care of me and for a while I thought it was fine because he made me happy and he was helping me but... really it was just holding me back and I could tell at first but I didn’t care because I was so... in love with him that nothing else seemed to matter. It was so stupid and I should’ve known better. I was just being such an idiot. A freaking fool in love.”, she said, starting to cry but not hard, just enough for a few tears to come out and her voice to become a bit wobbly.

“You’re not stupid, honey. You are anything _but_.”, he said, squeezing her leg and rubbing her back in circles with his other hand.

“I thought he saw me as mature and his equal but now I think he just wanted someone to take care of to make _him_ feel better about himself. I _do_ think he really loved me. I think he really _did_ fall in love with me but I think when we first started, he didn’t see me as an equal. And I guess we weren’t. I should’ve known that. I pictured so many things with him and I honestly think he would’ve stayed with me if I hadn’t broken up with him.”, she said.

“ _You_ broke up with _him?_ ”, he asked, surprised.

“Yeah. He was crazy about me. I don’t think he’d ever want to but... I needed to do some things on my own. I needed to be independent. I needed to find myself as ridiculous as that sounds. He literally would’ve done anything for me and although I was used to that throughout my whole life, I wasn’t used to the love and attention he was giving me that came with that. I’d never really had that before and it felt nice but I didn’t know how to deal with it and I think I felt guilty for taking all he had to offer and letting him do so much when he was already giving me what no one ever had... _love and attention._ I could tell it nearly broke him when I ended it and he tried to get me to stay. He showed me a ring he had saved and said that he wasn’t proposing right then but he had every intention of doing so eventually. It sounds crazy, I know. And I guess it kind of was but we were _so close_ . And _so connected._ He wasn’t just my boyfriend or my professor, I really thought we were meant to be and I’m pretty sure he still thinks that _now_ . And _that’s_ why I don’t believe in this... _meant to be_ stuff, because look how wrong I was before and it was just ridiculous. _I_ was ridiculous. I needed to see what was out there for me. What my life was like outside of him and outside of that school and anything that didn’t allow me to stand on my own. All he did was love me and the only thing he wanted in return was for me to let him take care of me. He was the first person that believed in me to do a lot and seemed proud of me everyday and knew I was going to succeed. He was the first person I told when I got the job at Interpol and the first person I told when I got into the FBI and I don’t know if I could have done it without him. He was a good friend... I _thought_ he was a good friend... until he kissed me and told me that... he never stopped loving me.”, she said, looking at Hotch. “I never told you that part...”

“It’s okay.”, he nodded. “ _You_ didn’t say it.”

“I told him _“Me neither...”_ , I _said_ that. But then he said I was with _you_ now, reminding himself and I felt horrible about what I said because I didn’t want to give him false hope and because it wasn’t true. I didn’t still love him like that. And I explained that to him right after. That I still loved him. But not in that way and that he’ll always be important to me. But that I’m in love with _you_ .”, she said, squeezing Hotch’s hand. “I heard him start to cry and then I asked him to promise to not leave again and to stay in my life more consistently because I needed more friends. That’s when he told me he was moving here and I got so excited he’d be here and that he got a new job. I turned to face him and after he insisted that dinner would be on _him, that’s_ when our faces were close and _that’s_ when we looked at each other and _that’s_ when I made one of the stupidest mistakes of my life. Literally. I will always regret kissing him that day.”, she said crying a bit again. “I still don’t even know why it happened. I was just so overwhelmed with all this energy and big news from him and it had been so long and I was also upset because you and I had just gotten in a fight and- it was stupid and I’ll always feel horrible about it. I know you say you’ve forgiven me and obviously you have because look at where we are now... but I don’t know if _I’ve_ forgiven _myself_ . You didn’t deserve that and I hurt you. I betrayed you. And I know it was only a kiss that lasted two seconds and meant nothing and I stopped it right away and I _did_ tell you but... I don’t know if I’ve completely forgiven myself.”

“Emily, that was what, _two years ago?_ Since then... he’s disappeared from our life and we have worked through it. I know how you felt about it and I understand what happened. You need to allow yourself to forgive yourself.”, he said.

“I just don’t know how to. I’m working on that in therapy right now.”, she nodded, rolling her lips in, and holding back some more tears.

“Babe...”, he said.

“You know what really hurt? Out of all that? Knowing that he lied to me for like _15 years_ . A little _more_ even. He got _married_ . He stayed in touch that whole time and I met his wife. Multiple times. Him and I _stayed friends. Very close_ . Probably one of my _best friends_ . And then he tells me that he _never stopped loving me?_ If given the chance during that whole time, he would’ve been with me. He would’ve gone back to me without any hesitation. It’s almost like he was _waiting_ for me. I told him on the phone the last time I spoke to him at the late housewarming party we had at the apartment with everyone... the night he called me drunk after seeing us at the store... I told him off about all of that. That his intentions all these years weren’t true because he never wanted to be _just friends,_ but instead, _settled for that_ . He went on about how much he regretted letting me go back in college. He still held on to it. I know I shouldn’t but I feel bad for yelling at him. I was so harsh and _yes,_ he was in the wrong but... all he ever did was _love_ me. He never hurt me. I hurt _him_ though.”, she said, looking down again.

“Do you regret cutting him out of your life? It’s okay, you can be honest... I won’t be mad.”, Hotch said.

“If he wasn’t still in love with me and trying to take me back, I _would_ regret it. Because although he never wanted to just be friends, he was a really good one. For a long time. And even though, I also can’t tell if I would’ve been able to get to where I am today in my career without him and I hate that, he still helped me and I _am_ here. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten _you_ back. So to answer your question... _no_ . But only because of how he felt. I never would have done that if he wasn’t in love with me or tried to kiss me again.”, she said, looking up at him again with her lip quivering. “Aaron, even though I just went on about how I was affected by everything he did and how I changed because of him and that a lot of how it happened wasn’t great... I still felt those feelings all those years. I still cared for him that whole time, he still meant something to me that whole time. He was a huge part of my life and I _will_ always have a place in my heart for him even with how I feel about him now... even though I didn’t end it well, I’ll always have a place in my heart for him.”, she sniffled, dropping her eyes to the elephant in her lap again. “And I really wish I didn’t.”

“Do you... feel like you got to say _goodbye_ the way you _wanted_ to?”, he asked.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel.”, she said.

“It does, because until you feel content with how you left things, you’re never going to be able to move on and heal, especially if you’re feeling guilty about it, which you shouldn’t. You can’t forgive yourself until you have had real closure. You can’t keep holding on to this...”, he said.

“After everything he’s done, he didn’t deserve me telling him over the phone while he was in a fragile state, to lose my number because he’s a horrible person and messed me up and to basically fuck off. Even after the things he did... the good outweighs the bad for him. I just can’t have him in my life normally if he feels this way. But he didn’t deserve that. I was just mad in the moment and hadn’t thought about it much and I felt bad because of how upset it made you earlier that day.”, she said.

“Did you do that for _me?_ ”, he asked.

“ _Partially_... if I’m being honest. I didn’t think about it like that in the moment but now, going over it again, yeah. Part of it was for me though. I just didn’t think before I spoke and eventually hung up on him, not letting him even finish his sentence. I just wish I’d thought things through more, like what I was going to say and how I was going to say them and I wish I’d done it in person. To cut someone that big out of your life at all, let alone the way I did it... it’s a hard thing to do. He was the first person I ever loved...”, she said, wiping away a new tear. “But it doesn’t matter now. It’s done.”

Suddenly, Hotch felt guilty that she felt the need to end things with Brayden the way she did. He felt bad that she possibly felt pressured by him and regretted the way she made a decision like that in her life. He thought of a way to make it up to her, as much as he hated it, he knew it’s what would be best for her.

“Honey, I’m sorry.”, he said.

“My _point_ was... I grew up having everything done for me, I wasn’t independent, I was spoiled and reliant on others because of it and was surrounded by other kids who were the same. I wasn’t a brat though. I was a good person and seemingly perfect daughter. I was a good friend, good student, good kid overall. I never knew anything else until I left home. But then Brayden came along and he did the same thing and I was used to it, I let him. Until I started to see that he was about more than just that. He gave me what my mother never did, attention, love, support... and I realized how that was the most important thing to have and know how to _give_ too. _That’s_ why we broke up. _I_ needed to give it to myself as well and _I_ needed to work hard on my own for everything I wanted. And I made it. I never thought I’d be able to find a perfect mix. There’s my mother who spoils but lacks the love and attention. Then there’s Brayden who spoils _and_ gives love and attention. And... then there’s _you_... then I found _you_... You love me _unconditionally_ , you make me _feel_ it more than anyone else has. You give me attention and you make me a priority. You support me whenever I need it and you believe in me to do my best because you _let_ me. You don’t _do_ everything for me, you don’t _help_ me out with things I can do on my own. You let me thrive and let me be independent. I learned how to be before I came back to you but you build me up everyday and let me take over. You know what I’m capable of and the only way you spoil me is with love, not assistance on any work. No special treatment. None of that. You’re the perfect mix. _You’re_ _perfect_. I’m _so grateful_ and _so lucky_ to have found you, Aaron. You make me a better person. You’ve taught me to love myself more and see how much I’m worth. Nobody has ever been able to do that before even if they tried. I try my hardest to do the same for you everyday because you deserve it... I love you _so much, honey_.”, she said, touching his face. “You’re the _love of my life._ And I wouldn’t rather be _anywhere_ else than here or _with anyone_ but you and Jack and our baby. You make me feel whole which I’ve never experienced before and I never knew how good it would feel... so for my mother to send us more than half of what our baby registry would be... it makes me feel like I’m letting her pull me back, like I’m taking a step back or being pulled down a little more, going backwards. I don’t want to give in. It would be one thing if she was actually speaking to me and actively in our lives and _showed_ she was happy about the baby... with words and her presence... not big gifts she sends without even a note. I just don’t feel right accepting it.”, she said.

“Emily? This is all- okay, wait. First of all, I love you too, sweetie.”, he said, giving her a kiss and smiling at her. “Second, we _need_ this stuff. If she won’t talk to you, then don’t think of this as her trying to ignore what she’s doing and to spoil you and hope you’ll forget about it or just _accept_ what she’s doing. Don’t think of it as a gift from her even. See it as us just taking what we need for free. A good opportunity to just get free stuff for the baby. If you let yourself feel guilty about it, then you’re justifying her reason for doing this and I _know_ you. You won’t let her win like that. She’ll come around and when she does, _you’ll_ be the one in control. _You_ can decide what you want from her. It’s up to _you_.”, he said.

She looked down again and nodded before she let a small smile pass her face. “This _is_ pretty cute.”, she said, taking the elephant and putting it in his face, pretending to have it give him kisses all over, making him laugh.

“So?”, he said.

“Yeah... alright. We still have like 20 more weeks. Should we set up the crib now or just wait?”, she asked.

“Well, it’s already here, along with people to help. You usually start setting up the crib and nursery and all that between 20 and 24 weeks anyways so...”, he said.

“Where are we going to keep all the other stuff in the meantime?”, she asked.

“One of the bedrooms downstairs? Or just over there.”, he said looking to the other side of the room. 

“We should get a tiny dresser for the clothes. Many one with some pullout-“, she said.

“We have a huge walk-in closet that’s pretty wide. _I say._..”, he started, getting up and walking into the closet with her following behind. “... you take one side and I’ll take the other while we use the back wall for the baby. We can get a little cubby organizer and put some baskets maybe on the bottom with toys and stuffed animals in them and on the second we can have some books and more toys in the shelves part of it. And either at the top or on the other side of it, we can have a few drawers. One with little dividers in it for all her clothes being separated like shirts in one, pants in another, onesies, socks, beanies, bibs, swaddles, blankets. We might have to have half of those in another drawer below it along with her pacifiers. And the other one below it could have her diapers and wipes and towels and everything.”, he said.

“What about the changing table?”, she asked.

“We’ll put it against the wall closest to our bed, right by the crib.”, he said.

“You’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you?”, she said.

“Just about.”, he chuckled, walking over to her, out of the closet. He put his hands on her bump and looked straight at her. “ _We_ ... are going to be _fine_.”, he said, slowly and reassuring.

“Yeah.”, she nodded and smiled. She grabbed his face and gently brought him in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“You’re _welcome_.”, he said, giving her one more kiss before she reached her arms up behind him and hung onto his shoulders while he wrapped his around her tight.

“Come on, let’s go downstairs and actually continue to unpack.”, he said, pulling back and taking her hand in his, walking out of their room and downstairs. 

They went outside to the backyard where everyone was taking turns playing soccer with Jack.

“Hey, who’s winning?”, Emily asked.

“Jack, of course.”, Sean said.

“We placed some rocks on each side so the opening between them can be the goal since there isn’t a net yet.”, Will said.

“He can’t exactly play basketball on the grass but I brought it out here for the time being.”, Sean said.

“Hey, Penelope, do you wanna come help me fold some clothes upstairs since that’s all I’m allowed to do.”, Emily said, looking at Hotch.

“You can be mad at me all you want. I’m not having you do any heavy lifting. Period.”, Hotch said.

“Sure.”, Penelope said, standing up from where she was sitting on the grass.

“Hey, Jack, wanna help me paint the studio?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah!”, Jack said, running to it.

“Wait. Go change into other clothes first. You’re gonna get paint all over them.”, Hotch said.

Jack ran back inside, upstairs to his room. Emily and Penelope went back in and up to her room. They walked over to bed and started folding her and Hotch’s pajamas, side by side.

“So... are you okay?”, Penelope asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”, Emily asked.

“Because you didn’t seem like it when Hotch had us go outside after we opened all the gifts from your mother.”, Penelope said.

“Yeah, I just... had a moment. But we talked it out.”, Emily said.

“Do you wanna talk about it some more? You still seem a bit overwhelmed.”, Penelope said.

“It’s just my mother. Sending me all this, trying to seem like she’s the good guy here but isn’t even speaking to me. It’s just frustrating.”, Emily said.

“Seriously? Not a single word?”, Penelope asked.

“We went to their house on Christmas. I said _“I’m pregnant.”_ She stared at me for almost a minute, completely silent. And then she walked away. At dinner I didn’t have wine and she asked if Jack liked juice and then she said _“Emily?”_ , so snarky... and that’s the last word she’s spoken to me.”, Emily said.

“She’ll come around.”, Penelope said.

“Yeah... may- oh.”, Emily said, stopping.

“What? Are you okay?”, Penelope asked.

“Yeah, it’s just. The baby’s kicking again.”, Emily laughed.

“Oh my god!”, Penelope said.

“Did you wanna feel it?”, Emily asked.

“Duh!”, Penelope said, letting Emily guide her hand to where the baby was kicking. “Oh! Oh my god! She's really kicking!”

“Yeah.”, Emily chuckled and nodded.

“Oh, that’s _so weird!_ But _amazing! Wow!_ ”, Penelope said.

“I know.”, Emily said, placing her other hand next to Penelope’s. “Okay, let’s keep going.”

Once they finished folding everything and putting it away, they went downstairs to grab some more boxes. While they headed for the front door, Hotch ran inside and grabbed his keys and wallet on the kitchen counter. He went out the front door right behind them and walked down the stairs.

“Hey, where are you going?”, Emily asked.

“I’m gonna go get some more paint but I’ll be back soon.”, he said, giving her a quick kiss. 

“You got a little paint on your cheek.”, Emily giggled.

“Yeah and quite a bit all over my clothes thanks to Jack. He left a handprint on the back of my leg.”, he chuckled. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna wipe that off your face before you go out?”, Emily asked.

“It’s fine.”, he said, waving it off. 

“Okaaayy, if you say so.”, she said.

“I’ll be back soon.”, he said, walking up to his car. 

“Drive safe.”, she said.

“I will.”, he said, getting in his car and carefully backed out, waving to them as he drove off. 

He went to the store and bought more paint along with some extra paint brushes and large rollers to reach higher up. As he was heading home, he couldn’t stop thinking about his talk with Emily earlier. Everything she said about Brayden. He kept wishing there was something he could do to make her feel better about it all. Before he knew it, he turned around and headed to his condo. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without trying to make things right in _some_ way. 

When he parked in front of Brayden’s place, he unbuckled his seatbelt and went for the car door but stopped. He pulled himself back and took a deep breath, thinking it over again and what he was going to say. Finally, he sat up straight and got out, walking up to the front door. He brought his hand up to knock and then brought it back down. He stood there for a moment, contemplating again if he should really be doing it or not. Once he collected himself, he knocked on the door. Soon after he did, Brayden opened it up and stared at Hotch.

“Aaron.”, Brayden said.

“Can I come in?”, Hotch asked.

“I-“, Brayden started.

“I’m not going to hit you.”, Hotch said.

“Um... sure...”, Brayden said, confused. “What can I- this... _why are you here?_ ”, he asked as Hotch came in and looked down briefly before back up at him.

“This is probably one of the last things I want to be doing right now but...”, Hotch shook his head. “I need you to talk to Emily.”

“ _What?_ ”, Brayden said, crossing his arms.

“I _need you._.. to come talk to Emily.”, Hotch said.

“I don’t understand.”, Brayden said.

“I don’t think she really got the closure she needed. In fact, I _know_ she didn’t.”, Hotch said.

“And you care... _why?_ ”, Brayden asked.

“Look, I’m not coming here for _you,_ alright? I’m here for _her_.”, Hotch said.

“Why _now?_ ”, Brayden asked.

“Because... she’s going through something and I think this has been affecting her and taking a toll on her for a while now and I just... she needs to be okay. _Especially_ right now. She feels horrible about the way she cut you out of her life over the phone like that and she wishes she could take it back. I just know she needs to see you again.”, Hotch said.

“ _You_ ... are asking _me_ to go see her?”, Brayden asked.

“I wish I wasn’t and I’m not thrilled about it but... _yes_.”, Hotch said.

“You’re asking me to go see Emily so she can tell me for a third time that she doesn’t want me in her life and to get lost? Are you _trying_ to make me miserable?”, Brayden asked.

“Look, I don’t care about you _or_ your feelings. But I care about _Emily_ and I know you care about her too. I’m not inviting you over for the sole purpose of hurting you or with the intention of making you miserable. I don’t want to do this just so she can say _goodbye_ again. I’m doing this because I can tell she needs to see you again. She needs to talk to you again.”, Hotch said.

“What’s going on with her?”, Brayden asked, concerned.

“I really don’t want to get into specifics right now. And it’s not my place to talk about her business. You can let _her_ tell you what’s going on.”, Hotch said.

“But you’re willing to go behind her back to tell me about her feelings and get me to come over without her knowing beforehand?”, Brayden said.

“I’m not stabbing her in the back. I’m not going into detail and I’m not making this decision for her. If she really doesn’t want to talk to you, she won’t but I want to give her the option to because I know that’s what she wants right now and has for a long time.”, Hotch said.

“I don’t know... I _really_ don’t think she wants to see me.”, Brayden said.

“You fucked up a lot of things. And I’m definitely not your biggest fan. You’re one of the last people I want being in contact with her but... this isn’t about _me_... I know you still care about her. I know you...”, Hotch stopped and closed his eyes, rolling his lips in, trying to steady himself to say what he was going to next. “I know you still love her. And I know you wouldn’t want her to be hurting.”

Brayden looked off to the side and then down at the ground before bringing his head back up to Hotch. “I don’t think I can do that. I’m sorry but I can’t help you.”, Brayden said, watching Hotch taking a deep breath before he spoke again.

“We just bought a new house so we have a different address. We’re still moving in, as you can probably see the paint all over me. But... we’re sleeping there already so... we’ll be there all day and night.”, Hotch said, taking out a pen and old receipt from the back pocket of his jeans. He wrote down their address and handed it to Brayden. “People are over right now so just... come by later.”

Brayden looked down at the address while Hotch headed for the door. He opened it but turned back around to look at Brayden.

“Don’t think for even a _second_ that just because I’m doing this, I’m okay with you or I forgive you or don’t despise you. Because I’m _not_ okay with you and I _don’t_ forgive you. I _still_ despise you, but... _she doesn’t_. I can't force you to talk to her again but... don’t let me be the thing that gets in the way of you helping her.”, Hotch said, nodding down before turning back around and walking to his car. Once he got in, he drove off and went back home.

When he got there, he grabbed the paint and brushes from the backseat and went up to the backyard, opening the fence. He walked up to the studio and stepped inside, setting everything down.

“Thanks man.”, Sean said.

“Yeah.”, Hotch said, running his fingers through his hair.

“You good?”, Sean asked.

“Ask me again later.”, Hotch said.

“Will your answer be the same as you feel right now?”, Sean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I hope not.”, Hotch said.

“So you don’t wanna talk about it.”, Sean said.

“That’s probably the last thing I wanna do right now.”, Hotch said, walking into the other room to find Jack painting part of a wall. “Hey, buddy. You hungry?”

“Yeah.”, Jack said.

“Come on, let’s have a snack.”, Hotch said.

They walked inside and grabbed a bag of chips on the small table placed by the door in the kitchen. That and a few packs of fruit snacks laying around was all they had for the time being. Since they didn’t have any food in the fridge or pantry yet, they had some things to snack on throughout the day but were almost out. As Jack chose a pack of fruit snacks, Emily walked downstairs with everybody.

“Hey, when did you get back?”, Emily asked, walking up to Hotch and placing her hand on his shoulder.

“Just a minute ago. Jack was just taking a little break from his awesome paint job he’s doing.”, Hotch said, fist bumping him.

“Oh yeah?”, she said.

“Yeah.”, Jack said.

“What were you guys all doing up there?”, Hotch asked.

“JJ and Penelope were helping me fold and put things away while the guys brought up some more things to Jack’s room and the crib to ours.”, she said.

“Oh! I wanna build it. With help because... I don’t know how good I’ll be at doing it.”, Hotch said.

“Maybe tonight. I’m sure Sean will help. We should continue moving everything else up from the truck for today.”, she said.

“Hey, Jack. Wanna help me bring up some of the blankets and stuffed animals over there?”, Hotch asked.

“Okay.”, Jack said, setting his snack down and started to walk over to them in the living room. 

“Oh, hey, buddy. Wash your hands first.”, Hotch said. 

Jack ran back in and used his stepping stool to reach the sink and wash his hands. Hotch picked up some fruit snacks and handed it to Emily.

“You know the baby doesn’t like these.”, she said.

“Oh. Right. Um... the only other thing we have are chips.”, he said.

“That’s fine.”, she said.

“You need something a little healthier and filling...”, he said, trying to think. “How’s that deli sound? The one a couple blocks away. I can go get you a sandwich or something.”

“You were just out though.”, she said.

“Jack and I will take a walk over there. It’s only a few minutes away and it’s a beautiful day out.”, he said.

“Pastrami sandwich with extra pastrami and corned beef.”, she grinned.

“Alright, sounds good.”, he chuckled. “Did you guys want anything?”, he asked everyone else.

“If you can get some extra pickles on the side, I’d gladly have a few.”, Derek said.

“Can you get me a roast beef sandwich? I’ll totally pay you back.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, sure. No worries, I’ve got it. You guys are helping us out today with moving. It’s the least I can do.”, he said, looking at the others.

“I’m all good. I might have a bite of JJ’s.”, Will said.

“I’m alright with just the chips for now.”, Penelope said.

“Okay, great. Jack, wanna go get some sandwiches? You can get a grilled cheese and chocolate milk if you want.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah!”, Jack said, jumping off his stepping stool.

“We’ll go pick those up now.”, Hotch said, kissing Emily’s cheek and walking out with Jack.

They went down a few blocks and got their food from the deli and walked back after. When they got home, Hotch and Jack walked inside and the dining room table had been brought up while they were out. He set the food down on it and grabbed everyone to eat. 

By the end of the day, they’d finished bringing up and unpacking everything from the truck and only had a few last things back at the apartment. When Sean had finished painting his studio and cleaned everything up, he grabbed the air mattress and set up some blankets with it in his room until he got a new bed. He cracked the window because of the paint fumes and had a few other things of his brought in before they called it a day. 

After everyone left, Hotch cleaned everything up including all the boxes and bubble wrap. When they realized it was close to dinner time, they decided to take showers first so they could order in food after and relax on the couch, watching tv. Once they were cleaned off, Hotch got in pajama pants and a shirt while Emily changed into sweats and a baggy baseball t-shirt she grabbed from Hotch’s drawer in the dresser. When he saw her wearing it, he laughed and walked over to her.

“You just love wearing my clothes, don’t you?”, he said, grabbing her sides.

“Maybe.”, she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and reaching up for a kiss.

“Well, you always look adorable in them.”, he said.

“I know.”, she giggled.

“You just always are no matter what you wear. I don’t know why.”, he chuckled.

“Neither do I.” she shrugged her shoulders and giggled again.

“Ali’s gonna be the same way.”, he said, rubbing her stomach.

“Oh. Are we calling her that now?”, she asked.

“Oh, that just came out. I didn’t even think about it.”, he said.

“I like the sound of it just casually being said, without even thinking about it.”, she said.

“Do you... wanna choose the name _Alison?_ ”, he asked carefully, watching her face.

“I kind of _do, yeah._ ”, she said shyly, biting her lip and smiling.

“Me too.”, he said.

“Yeah?”, she said.

“Mhm.”, he said.

“Aaron... did we just name our daughter?”, she asked.

“I think we _did_.”, he said.

She waited a second before she jumped up and squeezed her arms around his neck more. He held her close enough without pressing her up against him too much because of the bump. 

“We just picked our daughter’s name!”, she said.

“Wait, wait, wait. We still need a middle name.”, he said.

“I thought we really liked _Riley_ and _Blake_.”, she said.

“Okay. Which one?”, he said.

“ _Alison Blake Hotchner... Alison Riley Hotchner._ .. I’m still liking _Riley_ more. It’s cuter and it goes well with everything and I feel like she’s more connected to the name _Riley_ than _Blake_.”, Emily said.

“Me too.”, he smiled.

“Okay, _now_ can we jump? We just gave our daughter a full name.”, she said.

“You’re right.”, he said, holding her face, bringing his lips to hers while she held his arms and broke the kiss by smiling.

“Let’s go celebrate with some pizza. Pepperoni sounds so good right now.”, she said.

“Baby really loves meat.”, he said.

“She really does.”, she said.

“Good. You could afford to gain a little weight.”, he said, following her downstairs.

“I _have…_ a little.”, she said.

“The only weight you’ve put on is in your breasts.”, he said.

“I don’t hear you complaining about that _at all_.”, she said.

“No. _Of course not._ ”, he smirked. “But you need a little more and everywhere.”

“I don’t have a magic wand I can wave to direct where all of it is gonna go.”, she said.

“Well let’s just try and have you eat more. You have to have extra now. More than before. More than other people. Alright?”, he said.

“That shouldn’t be too hard. I’m constantly craving something.”, she said.

“ _Good_. Don’t ignore that.”, he said.

“I won’t. And if I forget, I have _you_ to remind me.”, she smiled.

“Anytime, hun.”, he said, kissing her cheek.

“Hey, I’m starving, you guys ready to order something?”, Sean asked.

“Oh, darn, we forgot to bring all the other baby boxes upstairs.”, Hotch said.

“That’s fine. We’ll do it tomorrow. The elephant is still sitting on the bed though.”, she laughed.

“Alright. Sean, wanna help me put the crib together after dinner?”, Hotch asked.

“Sure. But can we actually _order_ dinner first?”, Sean asked.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that.”, Hotch said, feeling around his pockets for his phone. “Babe, do you have your phone on you?”

“Yeah.”, she said, taking it out of her pocket.

“I’m gonna order a couple pizzas. Does that sound good to you, Jack?”, Hotch asked.

“Pepperoni!”, Jack said, from over by the couch in his pajamas and slippers.

“You got it. Let’s just get two large pepperonis.”, Hotch said.

“Sounds good.”, Emily said.

After they ate, they threw out their paper plates and put the leftover pizza in the fridge, finally having something that could go in it other than a few beers and water bottles.

They all walked back over to the couch until they decided to try out the big tv upstairs in Emily and Hotch’s bedroom while Hotch and Sean put the crib together. They waited for Sean to go shower and change into his pajamas in his place and come back inside the house. He raced Jack upstairs before catching him and giving him a piggy-back ride the rest of the way up. 

Once Hotch and Emily walked in their room, they turned the tv on and started a movie. With Jack cuddling up to Emily on the bed, Hotch and Sean began taking the pieces for the crib out of the box and laid them out on the floor.

After a few minutes, the baby started to kick, making Emily sit up the tiniest bit. She placed her hand on her stomach and looked over at Hotch.

“She’s kicking like crazy today.”, she said.

“ _Again?_ ”, he said, walking over to her and sitting on the bed, feeling her stomach. “Wow. She’s a little feisty.”, he laughed.

“I wanna feel!”, Jack said.

“Here, just take your hand and put it right here.”, she said, gently guiding Jack’s hand to where the baby was kicking.

“What’s that?!”, he squealed and pulled back.

“That’s the baby kicking.”, she laughed.

“The baby in your belly?”, he asked.

“Mmhm. Your little sister. _Alison_.”, she said.

“Alison?”, he said.

“That’s your sister’s name. But we also call her _Ali_. What do you want to call her?”, she asked.

“ _Ali_.”, he said.

“Yeah?”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he said, sitting back again.

Emily looked at Hotch and they smiled at each other, hearing what Jack said. Hotch gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked back over to Sean. All of a sudden, the doorbell rang, confusing them all.

“I got it.”, Emily said, getting up, watching them hard at work.

“Thanks, hun.”, Hotch said.

She walked downstairs and ran to the door, excited to answer it for the first time, with a big smile on her face that soon dropped once she opened it. She stood still, staring at Brayden in the doorway, speechless. She was so confused and knew he must’ve been too when she noticed him stare at her baby bump and engagement ring. Soon after, his eyes wandered to the boxes of baby clothes and everything else across the room, behind her by the couch. Nothing came to her mind for too long. She had completely blanked until the shock finally wore off and he looked back at her. 

“Brayden.”, she breathed out, trying to catch another one.

“Hey.”, he said so softly, it almost didn’t seem real, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked, no longer speechless but completely still with no expression on her face other than still a bit of shock.

“Aaron asked me to come by.”, he said.

“ _Aaron_ asked you to come by?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”, he said, cocking his head, looking at her in a way that almost seemed like he felt bad for her or looked at her like she was fragile.

“Why would he-“, she started until she saw Hotch come downstairs and head towards the kitchen. 

He halted when he saw Emily out of the corner of his eye and looked over at her before walking to her. “Hey, who’s at the-“, he stopped once he saw Brayden. They stared at each other while Emily kept looking back and forth between them. 

“Aaron, what did you say to him?”, she asked.

“I- I asked him to talk to you...”, Hotch said.

“ _What? Why?_ ”, she asked.

“Because you need to. I could see it today. I could hear it.”, he said and slowly turned to whisper in her ear, “You’re not _okay,_ Em. You need closure. You’re never gonna move on or let yourself go from that until you do. If you don’t want him here, that’s fine but I want you to finally have some peace because you need that now more than ever.”

He pulled back and looked at her, touching her shoulder and with his other hand on her back. He looked at Brayden and let go of Emily. He went to the fridge and grabbed two beers before finding a couple screwdrivers on the counter from earlier when they fixed the cabinets, and walked back upstairs. 

Emily brought her attention back to Brayden and crossed her arms but not mad. “What did he say to you?”, she asked.

“I wasn’t gonna come... but then I just kept thinking about what he told me and the fact that he came to me. He said you didn’t get the closure you needed. That you needed to talk to me again. That it was affecting you and you need to be okay right now and that you aren’t... I’ll leave if you want. But I couldn’t live with myself not knowing if I could have given you that closure to make you feel more content with your decision... even if it means breaking my heart all over again. Because I care about you, Emily. I always will.”, he said.

She stepped outside the front door and closed it behind her, standing in front of him. She crossed her arms and looked down at the ground, thinking of what to say.

“I don’t just need closure... I need answers.”, she said, looking back up at him.

“Okay.”, he nodded.

“About everything. The truth.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he nodded again.

She had so many things she wanted to ask and didn’t know where to begin so she went with the first question that popped in her head after a few seconds. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, she asked.

“Tell you-“, he started.

“That you still loved me. That you never stopped loving me. Why didn’t you tell me? You had more than _15 years._ ”, she said.

“I was married.”, he said.

“Not until a few years after I ended it. There were a few years until then where you could’ve told me.”, she said.

“Emily, you broke up with me. I wasn’t going to beg you to take me back anymore. I’d already tried that when you told me you wanted to leave.”, he said.

“So you kept it a secret that whole time? You just never told me?”, she asked.

“What would you have done if I _had_ told you, huh? Would you have taken me back? Would you have cut me out of your life just like you’ve done by now?”, he asked.

“I don’t know... But at least I would’ve known. You know how much trust means to me. Honesty is everything. I’ve had to keep way too many things from way too many people in my life and it just about killed me. _Literally_ . I actually almost died last year... but that’s not the point. Well, it kind of is... I just can’t understand _why_ you’d lie to me for so long.”, she said.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. You obviously didn’t feel the same way ever since we broke up.”, he said.

“Yes, I did... I didn’t leave you because I didn’t love you anymore. At that point in my life, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. You were so good to me... you showed me what love really was. What it was like to be loved by someone. What it was like to love someone. I didn’t stop loving you for a long time. I didn’t leave you because all of that went away. I left because I needed to find myself and allow myself to be independent for once in my life. To give myself the opportunity to do whatever I want... on my own. But I never let you go during that. And although I don’t love you like that anymore... you will always be the first person I ever _did_ love. You will always be the first person to _love me_ . But I just don’t anymore. I have Aaron now and overall... I’m happy. We’re having a baby and we’re engaged. We just bought a house. We’re starting a bigger life and family together and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t mean to rub it in your face but I need you to know I’m not miserable. I need you to know that I’m happy and that my life is _good_... and that I’m gonna be okay. You meant so much to me... and that’s why it hurt so much to know that you lied. I kept you in my life, I called you my best friend, I made sure neither of us left. I never wanted to lose you...”, she said.

“After that first night that you came back to my place... I knew I was already in love with you... I _thought_ you were the love of my life. You might still be but _I’m_ not _yours_ and that’s fine. I’ve come to accept that over a long period of time. I loved my wife but nobody has ever compared to you, Emily. Any girl I was ever with after you, I remember thinking that... she wasn’t _you_ . I loved you so much. I had that ring. I wasn’t planning on giving it to you anytime soon because I thought you’d still be with me later. I thought I had time to wait to ask you to marry me. I thought I had more time with you but... you broke my heart... I _understood_ and I cared about you too much to let you know just how broken I was. I never wanted to hold you back. _That’s_ why I never told you. _That’s_ why I lied... to keep you from feeling the way you are now. The last thing I _ever_ wanted to do was hurt you. When I kissed you, I wasn’t thinking about how wrong it was or the fact that you had just told me you were in a serious relationship. I just saw you there and remembered the last time you had looked at me like that... years ago before everything went wrong. I looked at you and for a split second thought I had you again. Holding you in my arms there... brought back _everything_.”, he said, letting a tear fall and wiping it away. “I never wanted to let you go. I wanted to hold on to you and make sure you were okay. And I ruined that. That’s what I was scared of happening if I ever told you all those years... I never wanted to let you go.”

“Why did you take an interest in me? When you first met me? I’ve wondered about this for a while now. Did you think I was just some easy college girl who would be eager to get in bed with you?”, she asked.

“ _No. I never thought that._ When I first saw you, you were so beautiful and there was just something about you that stood out. But it wasn’t until you approached me that I realized immediately there was something different about you. I got to know you and each day I fell in love with you more and more. After that night I first kissed you, I couldn’t believe it and then I felt horrible. I knew it was wrong. You were half my age and you were my student. I knew that if I allowed myself to get any closer to you, I would cross the line again and by the way that you looked at me all the time and flirted with me and the way you kissed me back... I knew you wouldn’t stop me if I tried something again. But when I saw how much I hurt you... I couldn’t let you walk away, crying like that. And by that point, I was stuck. I didn’t want to let go of something that could possibly _turn into_ something so amazing. From the minute I met you, Emily... I _never_ saw you as some easy college girl. You were different from everyone else in the best possible way and I saw that. And I’m sorry if you felt like I was trying to do everything for you or help you out with so many things to the point where you felt you couldn’t have that in your life. It wasn’t because I saw you as an inexperienced, helpless, reliant girl. I just wanted to be there for you. It wouldn’t have mattered how old you were or how old _I_ was. I saw you as my equal. I never looked down on you or thought I was better. If anything, I looked up to you. And yes, I wanted to teach you so many things because you wanted to learn but it wasn’t to make me feel better about myself. My intentions were only for your benefit.”, he said.

“Why did you get divorced...?”, she asked.

“Emily...”, he said.

“ _Brayden_.”, she said.

“We weren’t in love anymore.”, he sighed.

“Did I have something to do with it?”, she asked.

“This has nothing to do with-“, he said.

“ _Did I have something to do with it?_ ”, she asked again.

He stared at her for a moment, obviously contemplating what to tell her. “Maybe...”, he said.

“ _Maybe?_ ”, she asked.

“Emily, I’ve never stopped loving you. I don’t know if I ever will. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love _you_ . I’ve tried letting you go but you’re always going to be such a huge part of my life. You have _something_ to do with _everything_ in my life.”, he said.

“Brayden-“, she started.

“I don’t know _why_ I feel the way I feel about you even after all these years. But I do and that’s never gonna go away. And you’re... engaged now and... _having a baby_ ...”, he said, letting out a half laugh and sniffled, “... with another man and honestly, seeing this, I’ve never felt so much pain and _loss_ . This is what I had envisioned for _us_ . And now you’re living it... with someone else. And now that I’m here and see it, I think I ended up needing to see this. I needed to see you one last time. I needed to see you’re with someone else and have a family with someone else and that’s gonna stick. That’s not going away. _Aaron_ is not going away. He loves you. And... because of that, I feel better about leaving this time, knowing someone is taking care of you and loving you as much as you need and you deserve because you _do_ . _So much_ . You deserve the _world,_ Emily... and it seems like he’s doing that. So, I’m grateful you are being taken care of _and_ able to be independent and do what you want and what you’re capable of doing. I’m _genuinely_ happy for you... _and_ for your family.”, he softly smiled.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes and the last thing she wanted to do was break down so she bit her lip. “I’m sorry. It’s just the hormones.”, she said, looking up, bringing the tears back in. 

“It’s fine.”, he chuckled. “Do you mind me asking?”, he said, looking at her bump.

“It’s a girl.”, she nodded and gave a soft smile.

“Wow...”, he said.

“ _Alison_... we just chose a name tonight.”, she said.

“It’s a beautiful name.”, he smiled.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“How uh-“, he started.

“20 weeks.”, she nodded.

“ _Wow_... that’s really incredible, Em.”, he said.

“Yeah... I kind of can’t believe this is my life. In the best possible way though.”, she said.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”, he said.

“I know.”, she said.

He stared at her a while until he lowered his head. “I should probably head out now.”, he said, starting to turn around but she stopped him.

“Wait.”, she said, making him raise his head and face her again. “I don’t hate you. You’ll always have a place in my heart. I’ve made this clear to Aaron and I think this was why he was willing to come talk to you. He knows how much you mean to me. And as much as he doesn’t like it... he gets it. He has an ex-wife and he doesn’t love her anymore but she’ll always have a place in his heart because they were best friends for years and married and have a child together. He _gets_ that you were my first love and you were a huge part of my life and one of my best friends for years. _He understands that_ . It doesn’t mean he _likes you_ but he understands it... I wish we could still be in each other’s lives, Brayden but after you said all that just now... I’m not really mad at you but... I think you need to let _me_ go because this is hurting you too much and holding you _back_ from too much. You deserve better. And as long as you still love me... I can’t be there for you the way I was before. I’m sorry... Thank you for _everything_ you’ve ever done for me. I really don’t know if I’d be here without you.”, she said.

“I may have helped teach you but you did the rest on your own. You made something of yourself. I can’t take credit for that. That was all you.”, he said.

“You _inspired_ me, Brayden.”, she said. He smiled and nodded down a bit. “I’m sorry _so much_ went wrong. But I don’t regret ever being with you or our friendship. It helped shape me into who I am. And any woman would be lucky to have you in their life. Please don’t give up. Don’t hold yourself back because of me. _Make_ something of yourself. Help _others_ make something of themselves. It’s what you do best.”, she smiled. 

“Thank you... for coming into my life and giving me the privilege to get to know you at all. You’re truly one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, Emily.”, he said.

She smiled and took a step forward, standing on her toes, reaching up for him. She hugged him around his neck and immediately he brought his arms up and around her back, holding her tight. He held the back of her head and she said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”, he said.

After a few more seconds, they pulled back. She rubbed his shoulder and offered him a soft smile. “Thank you for coming tonight. I’m glad you changed your mind.”, she said.

“Thank you for _listening_ to me. I hope this goes without saying but I’m going to anyways... if you _or_ your _family even..._ needs _anything ever_ ... I will _always_ be there. No matter what. I love you, Emily. I’m always here...”, he said quietly at the end, staring in her eyes.

“I’m here too if you ever need anything. We’ll be here.”, she smiled, while failing to hold back the tears she felt beginning to come out.

“Goodbye, Emily.”, he said, giving her cheek a kiss and smiling before he turned around and walked down the stairs. 

“Bye, Brayden.”, she said quietly and sniffled as he was halfway down the stairs. 

She stayed there, watching as he got in his car and drove away. She stood still for a minute before leaning over and resting her elbows on the thicker and wider wooden railing, looking down at the backyard. She allowed herself to let out some tears but tried not to let it _all_ out, knowing with the hormones, it would take forever to stop and she had to go back upstairs to the boys.

Once she collected herself, she went back inside and locked the door, turning the porch light off. She headed upstairs to find Jack nearly passed out, cuddling with the stuffed elephant meant for the baby, on their bed even with the tv volume up and Hotch and Sean chatting while having made a surprising amount of progress on the crib. 

When he saw she walked in, Hotch set his screwdriver down and walked over to her. “How’d it go?”, he asked quietly, reaching for her and holding her sides.

“We’ll talk about it in bed.”, she said, running her hands along his arms.

“Okay.”, he nodded, giving her a kiss as she brought both hands to his face and kept their lips together for a while.

He pulled back gently and smiled before walking back over to the crib as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. When she came out, she got in bed under the covers and laid down next to Jack, letting him cuddle up next to her. Being so tired, she fell asleep within minutes.

Next thing she knew, she heard and felt Hotch climb into bed next to her. He sighed out of exhaustion once he laid down and scooted up to Emily once he noticed her eyes opening.

“Hey, sweetie. I didn’t mean to wake you.”, he said, combing her hair back and kissing her forehead.

“It’s okay.”, she smiled, gazing into his eyes.

“Listen... I’m sorry if I put you in a bad position or if you’re mad I went to Brayden and asked him to talk to you but... I hated seeing you like that earlier and I could just tell... this seemed like what you needed and I wanted you to have the opportunity to say what you needed to say and everything if you wanted.”, he said.

She put her hand on his face and kissed him deep. “Don’t be sorry. You’re the most selfless man I know. For you to go to his house and ask him to talk to me... I know you’d much rather punch him in the face so... knowing you did that for me... I’m so glad I’m marrying you. Not many people would have done that.”, she said.

“So how’d it go?”, he asked.

“Really well. He explained everything and I feel like I have a better understanding about it all. I got a lot of answers even from the very beginning. There were things he’d never told me before and I think I really needed to hear all of it, to hear the truth. And to be able to get everything out myself and work through some of it with him. It ended really well. I even gave him a hug and he gave me a kiss _on the cheek_ before he walked away. It was all pretty emotional so...”, she said, starting to cry, her voice wobbly.

“Honey...”, he said, throwing his arm over her and letting her cry on his shoulder while he held the back of her head and stroked her hair. He kissed the side of her head and continued to hold her until she calmed down.

“Thank you for doing that. I really do feel like I finally got the closure I needed. I think we both did. I needed that.”, she said, pulling back.

“I’m glad.”, he nodded. He put his hand on her stomach and leaned down to it. “Heyyy baby.”, he said rubbing it. “Guess what? We decided on your name today. I’m thinking we’re gonna go with _Alison_ but maybe just _Ali_ for short. That’s what Jack is gonna call you. Me and your mommy though, we’ll probably call you both. How does that sound, huh? Are you an _Alison?_ ”, he said and right after he _did_ , she kicked. “Oh my god! Did you feel that? She just kicked when I asked her if that’s her name.”

“Of course I felt it. She’s inside my belly.”, she laughed.

“Duh, I know that.”, he chuckled.

“But yes, I felt it. She likes listening to her daddy’s voice.”, she said.

“Oh she’s not kicking anymore.”, he frowned. “ _Ali_.”, he said, pressing his forehead to her stomach. Right away she started kicking again.

“I _told you_. She likes listening to her daddy’s voice.”, she said.

“ _Ali,_ do you-“, he started before she brought his head up.

“Aaron, I’m exhausted. I want to sleep. And the longer you keep talking to her, the more she’s gonna kick. Now, I get that you don’t have a human being growing inside of you but can you understand how it might be a little hard to fall asleep when that’s happening?”, she laughed.

“Yeah, just a little.”, he chuckled. “Sorry, hun.”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“It’s fine, just hold me while I fall asleep.”, she giggled. 

“Gladly.”, he said, curling up behind her and kissing her neck, holding on for the rest of the night.

* * *

**please leave a review and let me know how you felt this was executed. i felt like i wanted emily to be able to have a better goodbye and be honest with hotch about it and have that be part of the reason why he was so supportive of her.**   
  


**thank you! :)**


	93. Time-Outs and Treehouse

**Chapter 93**

  
  
  


**fair warning: smut included in this chapter**

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Five weeks later, everything had been moved into the new house and they had gotten used to all the changes. 

On Saturday morning, Hotch and Sean were about to head out to the store to grab stuff to start building the swing set next to the treehouse. They were downstairs sitting at the dining room table, waiting for Jack to finish a sandwich once he said he wanted to come with them. 

Right when he was taking the last couple bites, Emily came downstairs, still somewhat sleepy and in her pajamas, having just woken up. When Hotch looked over at her, he opened his arm for her to come up to his side and she leaned against him.

“Hey, what are you guys doing?”, she asked, putting her arm around him over his shoulder and messing with his hair.

“We were just gonna head to Home Depot and get some stuff to start the swing set.”, Hotch said.

“What? Why didn’t you wake me?”, she asked.

“You were sleeping.”, he said.

“So?”, she said.

“Honey, you weren’t feeling good last night. I just wanted to let you rest, I’m sorry.”, he said.

“The Indian food just didn’t agree with the baby but I’m fine.”, she said.

“I _told you_ not to order the spiciest thing on the menu.”, he said.

“Oh, so you’re saying this is _my_ fault?”, she said.

“No. No, he is _not_.”, Sean said, looking at her before turning to him with wide eyes.

“No. I’m not.”, Hotch said. 

“Give me five minutes. I’ll get dressed real quick.”, she said. 

“Why don’t you just stay home and relax?”, Hotch said.

“Why would I do that?”, she asked.

“Because it’s the weekend and you can stay home and relax. We don’t get to do that _every_ weekend.”, he said.

“Are you saying this because I’m pregnant?”, she asked.

“Partially, yeah. You already work really hard and long days during the week. You should rest when you can.”, he said.

“I’m perfectly capable-“, she started.

“I know you are. I’m just saying, if you don’t have to go out, then don’t. _Rest when you can_.”, he said.

“I’m fine. I’ll rest when we get back. I’m coming with you. _Just give me five minutes_.”, she said.

“Woman, you’re impossible.”, he sighed and put his hand over his eyes.

“I’m getting you back later for that.”, she said.

“Oh, can’t wait.”, he said, watching her glare at him while she walked upstairs.

“Do you _like_ making her mad?”, Sean whispered.

“No, of course not.”, Hotch said.

“Then are you just that stupid?”, Sean asked.

“ _My_ fiancé, _my_ worries.”, Hotch said.

“You just say a lot of things to piss her off.”, Sean whispered with Jack being right there.

“She’s 25 weeks pregnant. The slightest thing can piss her off.”, Hotch said.

“Still. It’s worse later on.”, Sean said.

“No. Emily is a special case. I love her to death but even when she wasn’t pregnant, she had this attitude. Pregnancy has only made it worse. But once again, I love her to death and I love Ali so, it’s worth putting up with.”, Hotch said.

“Just be mindful of what you say.”, Sean said.

“I don’t think you understand. I could tell her she looks nice today and she would say, and I bet I’ll get it word for word... “ _Oh, so you’re saying I didn’t look nice yesterday?!_ ”, I swear.”, Hotch said.

“ _Aaron_.”, Sean said.

“I’ll show you.”, Hotch said, waiting until Emily came down.

“Don’t.”, Sean said.

“Okay! I’m ready!”, Emily said, walking down the stairs a few minutes later. Hotch gazed at her and she blushed. “What?”, she smiled.

“Nothing, you just look really beautiful today.”, Hotch said and watched her face change to angry.

“Are you saying I didn’t look beautiful _yesterday?!_ ”, she said through her teeth.

“ _Aaron_.”, Sean said.

“I told you.”, Hotch said.

“Told him _what?_ ”, Emily asked, still mad.

“Nothing.”, he said, standing up and walking to her. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. “You look beautiful. _Every. Single. Day._ ”, he kissed the side of her head and rubbed her back. He finally pulled away when he realized she still hadn’t hugged him back.

“You’re an ass.”, she whispered in his ear before pushing him away from her.

“I love you too, hun.”, he chuckled.

“I told you not to do that.”, Sean said.

“Oh, so you’re saying this is _my_ fault?”, Hotch laughed.

“Why are you making fun of me?!”, Emily pouted.

“ _Sweetie_. I’m just kidding.”, Hotch chuckled, hugging her.

“What makes you think I’d want a hug from you right now?”, she asked.

“I’m sorry.”, he backed away.

“I didn’t say I _didn’t_ want a hug!”, she said.

“ _Jesus_.”, he said, hugging her again.

“ _Good morning_ by the way.”, she said.

“ _Good morning,_ sweetie.”, he said, pulling back and giving her a kiss.

“Thank you.”, she smiled, giving him one more.

“I may always make her upset, but I’m good at fixing it.”, Hotch said to Sean.

Jack finished his last bite and hopped out of his seat and ran over to Emily. He reached for her and she picked him up.

“My goodness, mister. Did you have a growth spurt overnight? You’re even bigger than yesterday.”, she said, bouncing him up and down a bit, making him giggle. “Aaron, he’s already five and he’s so big.”

“Ali’s gonna be tall too, I bet.”, Hotch said. 

“She’s gonna grow up so fast. Just like Jack.”, Sean said.

“ _Stop. Don’t say that._ They’re not allowed to grow up.”, Emily said, holding Jack’s head and giving it a kiss. “Jack, you’re not allowed to grow up, okay?”

“Why?”, Jack asked.

“Because I said so.”, she said, kissing his head again.

“Come on, let’s go.”, Hotch chuckled.

They all walked down to the car together and Emily got in the backseat with Jack while Hotch drove and Sean rode shotgun. On the way to the store, Emily played thumb wars with Jack and fun clapping games with songs, including the _Lemonade Crunchy Ice_ one, his favorite.

Once they arrived, they got out of the car and Emily held Jack’s hand as they crossed through the parking lot. When they got inside, they grabbed a cart and started roaming around.

“So what do we still need to get?”, she asked.

“The swing seats, chains for them, and some rope and fake rocks for the slanted rock climbing wall. We’ll come back for the slide later.”, he said as they walked over to where the materials were for swings.

“Oh! Look at this!”, she said, pointing to a baby swing.

“Aw that is too cute.”, Sean said.

“Right?!”, she said.

“She won’t be able to use it until she’s like... six months old.”, Hotch said.

“But it’s basically a car seat. She could just lay back in it, totally strapped in.”, she said.

“Yeah, she’d probably be fine but they still recommend to wait until about six months.”, Hotch said.

“Fine. We’ll wait to put her in it until then but let’s get it now so you can attach it now!”, she said, grabbing it and setting it in the cart.

“Daddy!”, Jack said, jumping up and down when he saw a glider swing.

“Whoa.”, Hotch said.

“ _Aaron_ . We have to get this. _Look at it_.”, she said.

“Dude. I always wanted one of those. Come on.”, Sean said when they could all tell Hotch was hesitant about it.

“Okay, okay. Fine. We’ll get the glider. But can we grab a regular swing now too?”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. Oh, but don’t you think we should get the plastic covered chains so they don’t twist their fingers in them?”, she asked.

“Definitely. Sean, can you grab another cart? We can’t fit all of them in just one.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah.”, Sean said, going to grab another cart.

Emily placed the regular swing in the cart next to the baby one and grabbed some chains along with it. When Sean came back, Emily tried to grab the glider swing but with it being so long, Hotch took it from her and set it in Sean’s cart.

“Seriously?”, she asked Hotch.

“ _Honey_.”, Hotch said.

“Don’t _Honey_ me.”, she said.

“Can we play soccer when we get home?”, Jack asked.

“You want _me_ to play?”, she asked him.

“Uh huh.”, Jack said.

“Hmm. Can I play soccer with you when we get back... _Aaron... can I play soccer with Jack when we get back home? Or is that pushing it?_ ”, she asked with some attitude.

“I’m not telling you you should be on bed rest. And yeah, you can-“, Hotch stopped once he noticed her raise her eyebrows. “I mean... it’s your choice. I can’t tell you what to do.”

She smiled and looked back at Jack. “I’d love to play some soccer when we get home but daddy has to finish putting together the goal post.”, she told him.

“How long?”, Jack asked.

“It’s almost done, buddy. It won’t take too long.”, Hotch said.

“Yay!”, Jack said.

“Okay. Rope.”, Hotch said as they started walking around some more and picked up some rope and fake rocks.

Once they passed by an aisle Jack kept tugging on Hotch’s pants, whining about how he wanted monkey bars.

“Jack, I’m sorry but we can’t get monkey bars.”, Hotch said.

“Why?”, Jack pouted.

“Because that’s a lot of stuff to get and you’re still little. Maybe in a couple years when you’re bigger, okay?”, Hotch said.

“But I want them.”, Jack cried.

“I’m sorry, buddy.”, Hotch said.

“I hate you.”, Jack sniffled and turned away from him. He ran up to Emily and hugged her legs.

“ _Jack_ . That is _not_ okay to say to daddy.”, she said, squatting down, slowly. “That’s not okay to say to _anybody_.”

Jack reached up for her but she didn’t pick him up so he fell into her arms.

“No. You need to apologize to daddy.”, she said.

“But I don’t want to.”, Jack said.

“If you aren’t going to apologize then you have to have a timeout when we get home and that means no soccer.”, she said but he stayed silent, staring at her. She stood up and looked at Hotch. “Are you almost done?”

“We just need to pay.”, Hotch sighed.

“Give me the keys. I’ll take him back to the car and clear some space in the trunk for all this.”, she said.

“Alright.”, he said, reaching in his pockets for the keys and handing them to her.

“I’ll talk to him.”, she whispered.

“Okay.”, he nodded, looking off to the side.

Hotch and Sean watched her and Jack walk out and head to the car. He turned to look at Sean who scratched his head.

“You alright?”, Sean asked.

“Of course, I’m alright. I’m just surprised.”, Hotch said.

“He’s never said that?”, Sean asked.

“No. Never. I never even thought of it happening. I don’t know why. I know kids say it. But I just never really thought about it.”, Hotch said as they wheeled over to the register to checkout.

“You know what? He’s been living with you full time for a little bit now. I think he’s finally comfortable enough with everything to feel like he can say it to you. Just like how you don’t say that to your cousins or grandparents really but you will to your parents and siblings. Maybe living with just you has made him feel more comfortable to do and say certain things than before.”, Sean said.

“Are you profiling him?”, Hotch chuckled, pulling out his card and paying.

“I guess I am, yeah.”, Sean laughed. “But seriously though. That might be a good thing. Obviously telling him not to say it anymore is important... it’s not good _what_ he said but the reason _why_ might not be so horrible.”, he shrugged. 

“I think you might be onto something.”, Hotch said, taking the receipt and walking out to the car.

Once they got to it, they opened the trunk and threw everything inside. Hopping in the front, Hotch didn’t even bother looking at Emily or Jack. They just drove home.

When they arrived, they parked the car with the trunk facing the backyard and got out. Emily helped Jack out of his car seat and hopped out.

“We’re gonna finish up the soccer goal post and then Jack can-“, Hotch started.

“No. We talked about it and since he isn’t ready to apologize, he’s gonna have a little timeout in his room. Isn’t that right, Jack?”, she said, looking down at him. He frowned at her and she gave him a look. “Unless there’s something you’d like to say?”

“He’s not going to right now. It’s fine. Just take him to his room. He can play with his toys or something in there by himself.”, Hotch said, pulling out the swings and other materials they’d gotten, with Sean.

“How long?”, she asked.

“Just do thirty minutes this time.”, Hotch said.

“Okay. You hear that?”, she said. Jack frowned at them again and ran over to the stairs, rushing up to the front door. Emily sighed and stepped over to Hotch. “I’m sorry.”, she said, giving him a kiss and walking up the stairs to Jack and unlocking the front door.

“Should we go back today to get the slide or just work on the things we got now and go get the slide tomorrow?”, Hotch asked.

“Let’s just get it tomorrow.”, Sean said.

“Alright.”, Hotch said, following Sean to the backyard.

They set everything down and grabbed all their tools from Sean’s studio and went back outside, starting to work on the goal post again.

Back inside, Emily sat on the couch reading a book for a while until she noticed Jack’s thirty minutes were up. She went upstairs and leaned against the door frame, looking in his room. 

“Your time is up.”, she said, watching him roll his toy cars around. He looked up at her before back down at his toys again and continued playing with them. “Do you wanna come out and help me make some lunch?”

“Vroom vrooooom.”, he said, making crashing sounds after and pretending his cars went flying.

“Jack...”, she said, walking in and sitting down next to him but he didn’t look up at her. “I know you were upset with daddy but it was wrong to say that to him. I know you love him and I’m sure you didn’t mean it. Sometimes we say things we don’t mean. Everybody makes mistakes when they get upset. Even _I_ do.”

“Boom! Crash ahhhh!”, Jack said, ignoring her.

“I also said some mean things to daddy before but I apologized later and he forgave me. If you say you’re sorry, he will forgive you. He knows you don’t really hate him. He’s not mad at you. You hurt his feelings but if you say _sorry_ ... it’ll be okay. I promise.”, she said. Jack stood up and walked into his bathroom, closing the door, leaving Emily alone. “I’m gonna make some _lemonade_ ... you can help make it if you want...”, she said, waiting to hear from him but there was nothing. “We also have _dinosaur chicken nuggets_...”, and once she said that, he slid open his bathroom door slowly and walked over to her.

“Can I have some?”, he asked quietly.

“Come on.”, she said, getting up and having him follow her downstairs.

After she put some chicken nuggets in the toaster oven to cook, they got out some lemons. Jack pulled up his stepping stool and tried his best to help Emily using the manual citrus juice press. They squeezed the juice in a large pitcher, making sure there was no pulp in it. When the timer went off for his lunch, she handed him a large spoon.

“Pour two spoonfuls of sugar in this and then stir it, okay?”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said.

She grabbed the food from the toaster oven and served it on a plate for him, taking some ketchup from the fridge and squirted it on the side for him. 

“Your nuggets are done. I put them on the table over there. They’re still hot though.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he said sweetly.

“You’re welcome. While they cool off a bit, how about you help me bring these out to daddy and uncle Sean?”, she said, pouring a few glasses.

“Okay.”, he said, taking two and setting one down on the table in the kitchen for himself.

They walked outside and Jack went up to Sean, holding one while Emily went to Hotch since he was still avoiding apologizing to Hotch.

“Hey, take a break.”, she said, putting her hand on Hotch’s back. He set his tools down from putting up the first swing and turned to Emily.

“Thanks, hun.”, Hotch said, taking a sip. Right when he did, he brought his fist to his mouth.

“What? Is it too sour still?”, she asked.

“No. Oh my god.”, Hotch whispered. “How much sugar did you put _in here?_ ”

“Whoa. That’s... _really_ sweet. Um... what did you do to this?”, Sean asked.

“We just squeezed lemons, added some water, and put some sugar in...”, she said, confused.

“Yeah, _how much?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“Only two spoonfuls.”, she said.

“You put two spoonfuls in and it tastes like this? _How big was the spoon?_ ”, Hotch asked.

“No, I didn’t. Jack di-“, she said, looking over at Jack. “Jack. How many spoonfuls of sugar did you put in?”

“I don’t know.”, Jack giggled and shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true.”, Sean said.

“ _Jack?_ ”, Emily said, raising an eyebrow. “Did you put in two?”

“No...”, Jack giggled again.

“How many did you really put in?”, she asked.

“Five...”, Jack said.

“ _What?!_ ”, she said.

“ _Jack_. Why’d you put so much sugar in?”, Sean asked.

“I don’t know.”, Jack said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I told you to pour _two_ spoonfuls. Not _five!_ ”, she said.

“Sorry.”, Jack giggled.

“Oh my god.”, she said, placing her hand on her forehead.

“It’s okay. Just pour half of it in another pitcher and dilute each one with water.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah. Alright.”, she sighed. “Here, let me take that.”, she said, grabbing their glasses and bringing them back inside. Jack ran in after her and sat down at the table. He picked up his lemonade and chugged half of it before Emily could get to it. “Oh no, no, no, no. Don’t even think about finishing that.”, she said, setting it back down and walking to the counter to place the other glasses. 

“Can I have more?”, Jack asked.

Emily turned to him to see he had finished the rest of the glass. “Jack! I told you not to finish that.”, she said, walking over to him. “No. No, you can’t. That was _way_ too much sugar already.”

“Please?”, he asked.

“You can have some of this new batch that is watered down more.”, she said.

“Fine.”, he sighed.

“Why did I leave him alone with the glass?”, she said to herself, shaking her head. “Eat your chicken nuggets before they get cold.”, she told him.

Once she fixed the lemonade, she poured him a glass and set it down next to him at the table. She brought two glasses back out to Hotch and Sean to find Hotch on the phone. He looked over at her while talking and took the glass from her.

“Yeah... yeah, I know. Well, she did... okay, oh, she’s right here, why don’t you ask her.”, Hotch said, handing the phone to Emily. “It’s Haley.”

“Oh.”, she said, taking it and giving Sean his lemonade. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I was just calling to say _hi_ to Jack but I heard he got a timeout today?”, Haley said.

“Yeah. He got mad at Aaron for not getting stuff to build monkey bars while we were at Home Depot. He threw a little fit and said _“I hate you._ ”, to him so we gave him a timeout.”, Emily said.

“Oh no.”, Haley sighed. “Was that the first time?”

“I think so.”, Emily said.

“He’s said it a couple times to me by now. Jack is... a little difficult.”, Haley said.

“Well, all kids say that at one point.”, Emily said.

“No, I mean because Jack gives the silent treatment. He’s only five and he’s already _very_ good at it. He doesn’t apologize right away.”, Haley said.

“Yeah... he hasn’t exactly done that yet.”, Emily said.

“Is Aaron alright?”, Haley asked.

“He’s fine. Jack’s a little kid. He gets it.”, Emily laughed.

“I know that. It’s just sometimes when things like this happen, he doubts his parenting skills and abilities. I just wanna make sure he knows that Jack has said it to me before too. It’s not just him.”, Haley said.

“I’ll make sure he knows but he seems okay.”, Emily said.

“Good. Um... how are _you_ doing?”, Haley asked.

“I’m uh... I’m alright. Pretty good.”, Emily said.

“And... the baby?”, Haley asked.

“She’s fine. Perfectly healthy.”, Emily said, trying not to make it too awkward.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s been a while by now but it’s still very strange for me.”, Haley said.

“No... I totally get it. It is for me too. I- maybe it’ll be different after she’s born and she’s actually here and a real person to be around. The idea of it is easier to wrap your head around. I know for _me,_ sometimes it still feels... not real.”, Emily said.

“Yeah... that’s how I was with Jack. The image you have of your future child is so much different than when they actually arrive.”, Haley said.

“I’m honestly a little scared.”, Emily nervously laughed.

“Every mother is.”, Haley said.

“Great...”, Emily said.

“That’s a good thing. You’re not alone. It’s not just you, alright? It’s normal.”, Haley said.

“Normal would be nice for a change. It feels like things in life are starting to become normal for the first time... ever, really.”, Emily said.

“You deserve it.”, Haley said.

“Thanks.”, Emily smiled. “Anyways, you wanted to talk to Jack. Hold on.”

“Is that mommy?”, Jack asked.

“It is. Come say _hi_.”, Emily said.

“Mommy!”, he shouted, hopping out of his seat and running to the phone. “Hi, mommy.”, he said once he took the phone.

While he talked on the phone with Haley for a while, Emily made lunch for everyone including herself. She brought out some sandwiches to the backyard and made Hotch take a break. While she sat down in the grass with him, Sean went inside to give them some space.

“ _Hey_.”, she said softly, stroking his face.

“Hey.”, he smiled, taking her hand and kissing it.

“You okay?”, she asked.

“Emily, my son said he hates me. He’s five years old. I’m fine.”, he chuckled.

“I know, I just don’t want you doubting your parenting skills and abilities. Haley said that too and that Jack has said it to her a couple times as well so it’s not just you.”, she said.

“I know.”, he nodded.

“I just want you to know what an amazing father you are.”, she said.

“Well, thank you. But I know I’m a good dad. I know that. And yes, I doubt myself sometimes but I know I’m a good dad. And I have you to help keep me lifted.”, he smiled, holding her face and bringing her lips to his.

“You guys are making great progress on those swings.”, she said, looking all around them.

“I think we’re gonna get the slide tomorrow but I’m pretty sure we’ll be done with the swings really soon and then the rope shouldn’t be too hard but the rocks might take a little bit.”, he said.

“Well, you’re doing a great job.”, she said.

“Do you think Jack would be up for a game of soccer after?”, he asked.

“If it’s with me or Sean, yeah...”, she said.

“He’s still mad at me?”, he laughed.

“Apparently he’s pretty good at icing people out. He was ignoring me too when I went up to his room to talk to him after his timeout. He even walked away from me after a minute and went in the bathroom. It wasn’t until I mentioned dinosaur chicken nuggets that he opened the door and asked if he could have some.”, she laughed.

“Honey, you need more than just a sandwich.”, he said once he noticed it there and took a bite of his own.

“This is a _fat_ sandwich.”, she said.

“But you didn’t have breakfast.”, he said.

“Oh my god.”, she rolled her eyes and picked up her sandwich, taking a big bite. “Happy?”, she said in his face with her mouth full.

“A little more.”, he laughed, kissing her forehead. “Has she kicked at all today?”, he asked, rubbing her bump.

“No. Not yet. But knowing _her,_ she _will_ ... at the _worst_ time.”, she laughed.

“Aww, she can’t help it.”, he chuckled.

“You don’t know that for sure.”, she said.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“ _I know, I know._ ”, she said.

“What do you say we go to the baby store and get more things this week?”, he said.

“Mmmm... not yet.”, she said.

“Why?”, he asked.

“Because, we’ve already gotten some stuff. Let’s wait a little until it’s closer. It’ll be more fun, getting hyped up when it’ll be so soon.”, she said.

“Speaking of which... have you called your mother?”, he asked.

“I don’t wanna talk about that.”, she said, taking a bite of her sandwich.

“Emily...”, he said.

“Aaron, can we just go back to talking about baby clothes? Please.”, she said.

“When was the last time you reached out?”, he asked.

“Do you just never listen to me or...?”, she said.

“I’m not trying to piss you off. But I don’t want to see you guys just... drift apart. I know she wants to be involved. She needed time but you can’t just stop trying. She’s family... She’s your _mother_ . You talk about how you didn’t have an opportunity to connect with her when you were younger... This could be your second chance. You’ve both changed. This could be her only grandchild. She doesn’t have other kids. She has _you_. And I know she wants to be there.”, he said, looking at her but she looked down and continued to eat her sandwich. “Em...”, he tucked her hair behind her ear.

“No.”, she said.

“Her and your father are the only family other than us that Ali could have. Sean is the only one from my side. You have your parents though. If you won’t do this for yourself... do it for Ali.”, he said.

“Don’t you dare try and guilt trip me.”, she said.

“I’m _not_. I’m trying to get you to see the importance of having family in-“, he said.

“ _You’re_ my family. _Sean’s_ my family. _Jack’s_ my family. _Ali’s_ my family. _The whole team, all our friends..._ are my family. Even my father is in our life lately. My mother is just one person. I love her. But she’s never treated me much like _family_ does. We have so many other people.”, she said.

“Weren’t you the one trying to get me to reach out to _my_ mother? She has nothing to offer and wasn’t really that great to say the least. At least your mother has something to offer and she’s not a horrible person, Em. Just give it another shot. Try giving her a call.”, he said.

“I shouldn’t have to be the one to beg. She can come to _me_.”, she said. She rolled her eyes and huffed, getting up.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“, he started.

“No, you didn’t. I just have to pee. _Again_.”, she said.

“Oh.”, he chuckled.

She went inside to use the bathroom and when she came out, Jack handed her Hotch’s phone. 

“Thanks, sweetie.”, she said, picking the phone back up and walking outside. “Hey.”, she said to Haley as she got to Hotch.

“Hey, I talked to him about everything but...”, Haley said.

“He’s still being stubborn.”, Emily said, standing over Hotch, scratching his head.

“Yeah. I think the best thing to do is just wait it out. He’ll apologize by the end of today or tomorrow, I’m sure.”, Haley said.

“Alright. Well, we’ll keep you updated. He _has_ been a little mischievous lately.”, Emily laughed.

“He’s at that age now.”, Haley said.

“He’s a good kid though. _I’m_ not too worried.”, Emily said.

“Me neither. Besides, Aaron knows how to be strict yet loving. He’ll turn out just fine.”, Haley said.

“That is very true... um, did you wanna talk to him again?”, Emily asked.

“No, no. He’s busy building that stuff. I already talked to him about everything we need to really.”, Haley said.

“Alright. Well, just text or call us if you need anything and we’ll keep you posted on this whole situation.”, Emily said.

“Sounds good. Talk to you later.”, Haley said.

“Alright. Bye.”, Emily hung up, handing Hotch his phone as she sat down. She let out a deep breath and Hotch could see she had her worried thinking face on.

“Babe.”, he said, catching her attention. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you think that Jack acting out lately has been because of the baby at all?”, she asked.

“ _What?_ ”, he asked.

“What if he feels like he’s not getting enough attention or doesn’t want to share it.”, she said.

“We haven’t been giving him any less attention than before. If anything, I think we’ve been giving him a little more ever since the move and we found out about the pregnancy. I know I want to make sure he doesn’t feel left out or abandoned.”, he said.

“What about when she _is_ here? She’s gonna require _a lot_ of attention. How do we make sure Jack feels included and receives enough?”, she asked. 

“We’ll figure something out. Maybe him and I can do a special thing just the two of us once a week. A special day every week where we go out and get ice cream or go to the movies or go to a baseball game or something.”, he said.

“What about all the other days of the week? We can’t just spend time with him one day a week.”, she said.

“I know that. Of course I know that... I don’t know... we’ll just have to explain to him in the best way we can, what’s going on and try to spend as much time with him as we can. I’m sure he’ll love trying to help out with the baby. Attempt to read her stories, play with her, and help with the bottle. Little kids love doing that. It makes them feel important and like they’re helping. Which they are. That might be good for him. I don’t think he’d be ready to change a diaper all on his own yet.”, he chuckled. “But he might like to help assist by handing us the wipes or talking to her to help calm her down. I don’t know how many diapers you’ve changed but babies do _not_ enjoy it.”, he laughed again. “Talking to them helps calm them down though. I’m sure he’d be helpful with a lot.”

“I guess Sean will be here too...”, she said.

“Yeah. Exactly. We’ll figure out a routine and make sure he’s not feeling like we forgot about him or anything. It’ll be alright.”, he said, wrapping his arm around her back with his other hand on her thigh, and kissed the side of her head.

She leaned into him more and rested her head on his shoulder, taking his hand on her thigh and holding it. She interlaced her fingers with his and stroked his arm with the other, taking in the moment.

“You know what would be nice?”, she said.

“Hm?”, he asked, stroking her hand with his thumb.

“If we built like a nice wooden deck with a fire pit out here.”, she said.

“Where would we put it?”, he asked.

“Maybe along the side of the fence. It would be right outside Sean’s studio so it doesn’t take up too much space or get in the way of the kids running around or kicking the ball.”, she said.

“I don’t know... it kind of seems like an odd space for it. What about off to the side on the right when it turns the corner. It’d be close to the treehouse but not _too_ much.”, he said.

“Oooo, that would be nice with the trees over it more. But that would limit the space for them to run around to the other side.”, she said.

“Hmmm... oh. Okay, here’s a crazy idea but just go with me for a minute... I know it would be a lot more work and maybe a little more money but it would be really nice...”, he said.

“Okay...”, she said.

“What if we knocked out the front porch wall, had it go out further and had it be like a wooden deck balcony?”, he said.

“That seems like a lot of work, time, and money.”, she said.

“Forget about that for a minute. Does it sound like a good idea? Would you like that?”, he asked.

“It _would_ be really nice with the view of all the trees far ahead and perfect watching the sunset with some of the trees right around us.”, she said.

“Let’s do it then.”, he said.

“But the work, time, and money _are_ factors to consider. We’d have to hire someone and-.”, she said.

“Me and Sean and Carson can do it. Derek too. He does this kind of stuff with houses. He’d be perfect. Will could too.”, he said.

“Why not any females? You think none could do it?”, she asked.

“I never said that. I just don’t know any that would _want_ to. But if JJ and Penelope were willing to and wanted to, I’d be all for it.”, he said.

“We don’t have all the materials to do this.”, she said.

“We’ll get them. If it’s a lot of us, we can make it work.”, he said.

“When are we even gonna do that?”, she asked.

“We’ll make sure it’s before the baby comes. Take a weekend to start it, work on it some days after work when we aren’t too tired.”, he said.

“That’s gonna take forever, especially if you’re spacing it out like that.”, she said.

“No. It won’t. We’ll get it done.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she sighed. “As long as it doesn’t take forever. And as long as you know what you’re doing.”

“You know how I mentioned I worked multiple jobs when I was in high school?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she said.

“One of them was helping my neighbors with this exact type of stuff. Some construction for houses. Renovations. I got on top of roofs. If I can do _that,_ I can do _this._ ”, he said.

“Alright, well... when do you wanna start that?”, she asked.

“I can talk to the guys and start gathering everything for it next weekend?”, he said.

“Whatever works for you.”, she said.

“Great!”, he said.

“You should probably get back to work on those swings though so it doesn’t take up time for next weekend for the balcony.”, she said, raising an eyebrow.

“ _Probably_.”, he said, giving her hand a kiss before helping her up. 

He wrapped his arms around her and leaned in for a kiss but before their lips could meet, Jack came running out and grabbed onto Emily’s leg. She picked him up and held him on her side. 

“Can we play soccer now?”, he asked.

“How about after daddy is finished with the swings and everything?”, she said.

“But I wanna play now.”, he started to whine.

“ _Jack_. No whining, okay? I said we can play. We just have to wait a little. What if we played a game until then?”, she asked.

“Which one?”, he asked.

“I don’t know. Why don’t we go take a look in your room.”, she said.

“Dominoes?”, he asked.

“We could do that.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he said, squirming out of her arms and running inside, up to his room.

“We’ll go play, you just keep doing what you’re doing and... he’ll come around.”, she said.

“Alright, I’ll let you know when we’re done.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she smiled and gave him a kiss before going back inside, telling Sean that Hotch was getting back to work, letting him know to go back out.

After Emily and Jack set up some dominoes three times and played a few board games, they went out front to play with his mini basketball hoop on the sidewalk. Hotch and Sean were still working on the swing set and adding the fake rocks onto the climbing wall for the treehouse. While doing so, Emily brought Jack’s scooter down and watched him ride it all around the cul de sac.

When everything was done in the backyard and cleaned up, it was just about dinner time. Even though Emily insisted on cooking since Hotch and Sean worked so hard all day, they decided to take over and make crab for dinner. It was one of Emily’s favorite meals, especially the way they prepared it and she couldn’t deny she was pretty wiped from everything _she_ did throughout the day. 

Letting Hotch and Sean do the dishes as well, she took Jack upstairs to his room for a bath. He’d gotten to the point where he wanted to be like a big boy and do it himself. However, they wanted to wait just a little bit longer until he had unsupervised baths just to be safe. So she let him bath himself but stayed in there and played with him and kept him company. After he dried off, he picked out his own pajamas and changed into them by himself. 

Seeing him growing up more and more everyday, made her emotional, remembering when he could barely form a sentence when she first met him and sat in a high chair. She still thought about how much smaller he was and needed help with pretty much everything. But suddenly he was changing by himself, bathing himself, riding a bike and playing sports, swimming without floaties, pronouncing most words correctly. She loved all those things and found it much easier to be able to converse with him since he understood a lot more just in general. He was getting smarter and smarter everyday.

However, he still wanted her to read him a bedtime story every night and act out a couple of them with his stuffed animals. That night, he chose two long ones but since it was a weekend she agreed. 

Halfway through the second story, he’d fallen asleep and she tucked him in tighter, setting his teddy bear down and letting him hold onto it. She gave him a kiss _goodnight_ and turned out his light, leaving his little night light plugged into the wall, on in his bathroom.

Going straight to her room, she took a shower, cleaning the whole day off of her and came out after to find Hotch walking in.

“Hey, is he asleep?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I just put him down. He crashed in the middle of the second story.”, she said, beginning to moisturize her body before changing into pajamas.

“Is there any hot water left?”, he asked.

“Yes.”, she laughed. “I don’t take _that_ long in the shower.”

“Sometimes you do. But it’s okay. I call them your therapeutic showers. I know they’re usually when you really need it. To unwind, relax, have space, whatever.”, he said.

“Yeah, well, this was a shorter one.”, she said.

“Good, because I’m all sweaty and gross.”, he laughed. “I need a shower _very_ badly.”

“Go. Get in. I don’t want a gross, sweaty man in bed.”, she said.

“I know you love me.”, he chuckled, closing the door to the bathroom and turning the shower on.

While he was in there, Emily finished changing into her pajamas and got in bed. When he came out in just his towel, he was still dripping a bit but walked over to the bed and climbed on to give her a kiss.

“Oh my god, stop! You’re dripping water all over me.”, she giggled.

“At least I’m clean.”, he said.

“Aaron! Dry yourself off!”, she said.

“Yeah, yeah.”, he said, getting up and doing what she told him to, changing into his pajama pants and a t-shirt. 

When he flopped on the bed, he let out a huge sigh and took a couple deep breaths, closing his eyes before getting under the covers. Once he did, he rolled over to Emily and put his hand on her side, scooting close.

“Hi.”, she said sweetly, holding onto his arm and sniffing him all around his shirt and neck. “You smell good.”

“I _showered_.”, he chuckled.

“Is that a new body wash or something?”, she asked. “It smells like axe... apollo.”

“How did you know that? I just opened it. It wasn’t even in the shower when you were.”, he said.

“Pregnant women are like freaking bloodhounds. Crazy good at smelling things. Everything is so strong.”, she said.

“Wow.”, he said.

“Yeah. But...”, she sniffed him again and kissed his neck. “You smell really good.”, she smiled against his neck and continued to leave kisses all over it and running her hand up his arm.

“Babe, I’m tired.”, he said.

“Not every part of your body is, I can feel.”, she said, bringing her hand down.

“Mmmm... it feels great but I’m exhausted.”, he said.

“Seriously? Like... too exhausted for even something really light and simple?”, she asked.

“Honey, I can barely move. I’m sore everywhere and I have to do a little more tomorrow with getting the slide here and- ahhhh.”, he moaned. “Em...”

“Aaron, it’s been too long.”, she said.

“I know. I really want to but I’m seriously so wiped.”, he said.

She kept kissing his neck and wrapped her leg over his waist. He held onto it and began kissing _her_ neck.

“That’s what I thought.”, she breathed.

“You are very hard to resist.”, he said.

“Mmhmmmm.”, she said, finally having him.

After a minute before anything else could happen, they were interrupted by Jack yelling for Hotch.

“Daddy!”, Jack called from his room.

Hotch let out a huge sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nightmare, you think?”, he looked at Emily and noticed her starting to cry. “Honey, what?”

“You know I cry when I get mad or frustrated now.”, she said.

“Why-“, he started.

“Because I want sex! I need sex! It’s been weeks!”, she said quietly and cried.

“I know, hun. Me too. But-“, he said.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”, Jack called.

“I’ll be right back.”, he said, giving her a kiss and getting up. He walked out and into Jack’s room. “Hey, what’s going on buddy?”, he said quietly.

“ _Daddy_.”, Jack cried, reaching for Hotch as he sat down on his bed and picked him up, sitting him in his lap, holding him.

“Did you have a bad dream?”, Hotch asked, rubbing his arm.

“Mmhm.”, Jack sniffled, turning to face him and putting his arms around his neck.

“You wanna sleep in bed with us tonight?”, Hotch asked.

“Mmhm.”, Jack said.

“Alright.”, Hotch said, grabbing his teddy bear and picking him up, allowing him to hold on as he walked into their room and got in bed. He laid Jack down in between him and Emily and helped him under the covers.

“Hey sweetie, did you have a bad dream?”, she asked, stroking his hair.

“Yeah.”, he said, finally having stopped crying and hugged his teddy bear tight.

“Aw, it’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a dream. We’re right here.”, she said.

As soon as Hotch rolled over closer to them, Jack scooted up to him and tried hugging his side. Hotch rubbed his back and gave him a kiss on the head.

“Alright, it’s okay, just go to sleep, buddy.”, he said. Within a few minutes, Jack was out and Hotch looked over at Emily. 

“Guess he’s not mad anymore.”, she whispered.

“Like I said... he’s five. It doesn’t last long.”, he chuckled quietly and noticed she was still upset. “I’m sorry, hun.”, he said, stroking her hand. 

“It’s not your fault or his fault. I just really wanted this tonight.”, she said.

“Tomorrow night, okay?”, he said.

“So you say.”, she said.

“We’ll figure it out.”, he said. She looked down and sighed. “Hey. Look at me.”

“Hm?”, she said.

“How about tomorrow night, I ask Sean to take him for the night so we can have the house to ourselves.”, Hotch said.

“Okay.”, she nodded.

“ _Okay. Good._ ”, he said, stroking her hand again. “Now, please don’t cry.”

“You know I can’t help it.”, she said.

“I know but please. I know it’s just the hormones but I still don’t like seeing you cry.”, he chuckled.

“Alright.”, she nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”, he said, kissing her hand and rubbing her stomach before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Hotch woke up in the morning to Jack still gripping his teddy bear with one arm and the other gripping Hotch’s t-shirt. He stroked Jack’s hair and watched him and Emily continue sleeping for no more than another twenty minutes, admiring both of them and thinking about how much he loved their family. 

When Emily finally woke up, she noticed Hotch looking down at Jack with a smile. Only a few seconds later, his eyes came up to her and she reached over for his face and stroked it.

“Good morning.”, she smiled.

“Morning, beautiful.”, he said.

“Did he wake up again?”, she asked.

“Nope. Totally fine.”, he said.

“Good.”, she said, stroking Jack’s hair, gently waking him up.

When he did, he nuzzled into Hotch and tried hugging him with his little arms. “Hey, buddy.”, Hotch said.

“Hi.”, Jack said, still sleepy and let out a big yawn.

“Do you want some...”, Hotch started and then got closer to Jack’s ear, “... waffles?”, he whispered.

Jack immediately sat up and nodded his head with a big grin. “With syrup and whipped cream?”

“Maple or chocolate?”, Hotch asked, watching Jack think real hard.

“Aaron.”, Emily said, giving him a look telling him to stop.

“Chocolate!”, Jack said.

“Okay, I think we might need sprinkles too. What do you think?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah!”, Jack bounced up and down.

“Bacon or sausage?”, Hotch asked.

“Ummm... bacon!”, Jack said.

“Okay. Go get your Uncle Sean.”, he said, watching Jack run downstairs. He chuckled and looked over at Emily, sitting up with the same look on her face. “What?”, he asked, slightly frightened.

She opened her mouth to start but got up instead. “Hold on.”, she said and went to the bathroom. When she came out, she grabbed Jack’s teddy bear and whacked Hotch on the head with it.

“ _Ow! What was that for?_ ”, he asked.

“Did you seriously just offer to make him one of the most unhealthy breakfasts for him, that by the way does sound really good right now, just randomly?!”, she asked.

“He had a bad dream, I was just trying to cheer him up.”, he said.

“Yeah and he also said something bad yesterday and hasn’t apologized for it. When you reward him like this, it makes him think he doesn’t have to. He’s not going to learn this way. We need to go have a talk with him after breakfast while he’s still in a good mood. Let him know that because this was a first time, we aren’t going to ground him but if he says it again or does something, there will be other consequences. He can’t just think it’s okay to do those things.”, she said.

“ _He had a bad dream. I wanted to do something fun to cheer him up._ I guess I could have gone about it a little differently though.”, he said.

“Look, I get that you want to be the fun, cool parent, alright? But sometimes you have to be strict too. Kids have bad dreams. It happens. But you can’t coddle them every single time and give them treats because of it. And soon, he needs to learn to go back to sleep in his own bed. He can’t keep coming into our bed every time.”, she said.

“Can’t we give him just a-“, he started.

“He shouldn’t be sleeping in our bed whenever he has a nightmare, past the age of six. I think that’s a little long myself unless it was a really bad one but kids get nightmares. We can’t let him get in our bed every single time. We have to start limiting it.”, she said.

“Okay. Okay, you’re right. I know. I won’t bring him in as much _and_... we’ll talk to him after breakfast.”, he said.

“Good. Now let’s go have some. Baby’s really craving that bacon now.”, she laughed.

“Hey.”, he said, taking, her hand and pulling her back in, helping him stand up. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“I know. I just... we didn’t even get to have sex on our anniversary.”, she said.

“I know. I miss it just as much as you do.”, he said. 

“ _Aaron_ ... these stupid pregnancy hormones are crazy right now. All different feelings. I _need_ you. Okay? Do you understand? I _need_ this.”, she said through her teeth.

“Okay.”, he nodded and gulped.

“Good. Now, let’s go have breakfast because I’m hungry and I can’t exactly have my number one choice.”, she said, running her hands down his chest and walking away.

He stood still for a moment before following and grabbed her hips, going downstairs. “I’m going to talk to Sean _right now._ ”, he said, rubbing her side and running over to Sean grabbing things out of the fridge with Jack’s help. 

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, I got started. Lil’ man was pretty eager to start cooking.”, Sean chuckled.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”, Hotch asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”, Sean said, setting a whisk down and walking out to the backyard with Hotch. “What’s up?”

“Could you maybe take Jack tonight? Do some fun sleepover, movie night with him? Build a little fort or bring his sleeping bag and mini tent and fort in?”, Hotch asked.

“I guess so. Why?”, Sean asked.

“It doesn’t really matter.”, Hotch said.

“You need a break or something because I can help out more with-“, Sean started.

“I need sex. I need sex with my fiancé. _Bad_. It’s been way too long and I need it. We both need it. Normally I wouldn’t ask this but because it’s been so long, I’d like to have the house to ourselves if we can. So would you please take him for the night?”, Hotch asked.

“Dude. How long has it been? You kinda seem like you’re going crazy.”, Sean chuckled.

“Not since we’ve moved into the house.”, Hotch said.

“Over a _month...?_ ”, Sean whispered in disbelief.

“Yes, alright? Over a month. It’s never really been that long for us.”, Hotch said.

“But... _why?_ ”, Sean asked.

“We’ve been so busy with the move and then work and Jack and with everything we have to do with preparing for the baby and doctor’s appointments. Her not feeling good or not being in the mood or _me_ being too exhausted as well and not in the mood. We’ve been busier than ever. We just haven’t found the time or energy. Last night, Jack woke up crying for me right as Emily and I were actually getting into it. We didn’t even get our clothes off yet. I had to go get him and he slept in our bed. I know that doesn’t happen every night and we have sex all the time or at least used to. But I think we need a night alone this time so... could you _please_ take Jack for tonight. He can even be allowed to have soda and popcorn. Just no caffeine in it.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing. What else do you need?”, Sean asked.

“Nothing. Just this night. We used to be able to do this every night. Now...”, Hotch said, shaking his head.

“Welcome to the life of parenthood with more than one kid. You’re gonna wanna take advantage of any moment you ever have after the baby comes. That is... if you’re not using it to sleep every time.”, Sean said.

“We’ll find time.”, Hotch said, trying to reassure himself. “Anyways, that was all. Thank you. I owe you.”

“Aaron... I don’t expect anything in return. You guys need this. You deserve to have some time and space. No favors necessary.”, Sean said and walked back inside.

Hotch went over to Emily and pulled her off to the side. He kissed her cheeks and behind her ear, making her giggle. “Guess what?”, he mumbled against her cheek.

“What?”, she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“We have the house to ourselves tonight.”, he whispered in her ear.

“ _Really?!_ ”, she asked, pulling back, holding his face.

“Mmhmm.”, he nodded.

She smiled big and crashed her lips onto his. “Mmmm I love you.”, she said.

“I love you too.”, he said, giving her another kiss before placing his hands on her stomach. “How’s she doing?”

“Moving around a little. Pressing on my bladder. All that fun stuff.”, she laughed.

“I just wish she could come out already so we can hold her.”, he said.

“I know. Me too.”, she said.

“Almost in the third trimester.”, he said.

“I know it’s supposed to be a wonderful and beautiful journey being pregnant. The miracle of life. But I can’t wait till it’s over and I can hold my baby instead of her kicking me and making me have to pee and not letting me drink or sleep comfortably every night or-“, she said.

“Okay. I get it. It sucks. I would do it for you if I could.”, he laughed.

“It doesn’t completely suck.”, she said softly, stroking his face. “I’m glad to be doing this. I don’t wish for it any other way. It is a wonderful experience but after a while I just want it to be over.”, she laughed. “But it’s an amazing- oh. She’s kicking right _now_.”

“She knew you were talking bad about her!”, he said.

“What?! No! I promise I wasn’t.”, she said, looking down and putting her hands on her stomach, one on top of Hotch’s. “ _I promise I wasn’t. I love you_.”

“She just kicked three times. It’s almost like she said it back.”, Hotch said.

“Awww.”, she said, bringing her hand to her mouth and tearing up.

“Sweetie.”, he chuckled, pulling her in for a hug.

Once breakfast was ready, they all sat down to eat and let Sean do the dishes after, while Emily and Hotch went over to the couch with Jack. They sat him down in between the two of them and finally had a talk with him.

“Okay, Jack. Do you know why we’re sitting with each other right now and having a talk?”, Hotch asked.

“Yeah...”, Jack said.

“So you know that we are still upset about what you said yesterday, right?”, Emily said.

“Yeah...”, Jack said.

“So is there anything you want to say now? You had a day to think about it, right?”, Emily said.

“Uh huh... I’m sorry, daddy.”, Jack said, looking over at him.

“Thank you, buddy but I want you to know you can’t just say that anytime you get upset with anyone. It’s not a nice thing to say and I think you owe Emily an apology too for ignoring her yesterday when she was trying to talk to you.”, Hotch said.

“No, Aaron. That’s actually not necessary. He wasn’t mean or anything. He just didn’t feel like talking.”, she whispered.

“He needs to know to communicate with his words.”, Hotch whispered back and looked at Jack.

“I’m sorry, Emmy.”, Jack said.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Thank you though.”, she said while Jack climbed on her lap, barely able to sit right because of her bump.

“And one more thing. I know that Emily is another parent in this house but if you do something bad and one of us gets mad about it... that doesn’t mean you can go to the other for a different reaction or to comfort you. You have to deal with what you said or did and know it’s not okay. Do you understand that?”, Hotch asked.

“Yes.”, Jack said, leaning back into Emily.

“Okay. Good. And the reason why we had a big fun breakfast was not as a reward for you. It wasn’t saying it was okay what you did. I just wanted to cheer you up because of last night which... by the way...”, Hotch said, looking at Emily who was wrapping her arms around Jack.

“Oh. Um... well, your daddy and I were talking and we realized that we can’t have you keep sleeping in our bed every time you have a nightmare and-“, she said.

“Why?”, Jack interrupted, sounding so sad she almost changed her mind.

“Because... you’re a big boy now, right?”, she said.

“Yeah...”, Jack said.

“Well, big boys start to stay in their own beds after they have nightmares. They don’t sleep in their parents’ beds anymore. So... from now on, you’re going to start staying in your own bed. We’ll still come in and stay with you until you fall back asleep if you want but we’re gonna try and have you not feel you need to come in our room or sleep in our bed, okay? Maybe every once in a while if it’s really really bad or you don’t feel too good but you’re a big boy now. You have to start learning to sleep in your own room.”, she said.

“Okayyy.”, Jack pouted.

“Alright. Good. Now... why don’t you and I go play some soccer in the back and- oh! Orrrr... we could go play in the tree house and try out the new swings.”, she said.

“Yeah!”, Jack yelled and jumped off her lap, running up to his room.

“How about you and Sean go get everything else you need for the slide and any extra stuff for the treehouse.”, she said.

“Okay. Let’s go get changed first.”, he said, helping her up. He gave her a kiss and slung his arm around her shoulder while she held onto it as they walked upstairs.

Later that day after Hotch and Sean finished setting up the slide and all the last touches with the stairs and rock climbing wall with the rope and the swings to the side. Jack got a chance to play on it until it was dark out and went inside for dinner. 

Afterwards, he got some blankets and a pillow with Sean grabbing his set of pieces to make a pop up tent fort with a tunnel and multiple spots to sleep. Jack ran to Sean’s studio and set his things down before going inside to grab his toothbrush and toothpaste. He was already changed into his pajamas and had taken a bath so they made some popcorn and grabbed a couple root beers before heading into Sean’s for the night. Before he helped Jack set up his fort, Hotch walked over to him.

“Once again, _thank you_.”, Hotch said.

“You bet. And any night you need after the baby is born. Go out for a date, need a night alone like tonight or just need a night alone to sleep and have some peace and quiet, I’m here.”, Sean said.

“I know we will _definitely_ be taking you up on that. Are you all good for tonight? Do you need anything?”, Hotch asked.

“I think we’re good. We’re just gonna make root beer floats and have some popcorn before watching a movie.”, Sean said.

“Does he have his teddy bear? He can’t fall asleep without it lately.”, Hotch asked. 

“Yes, and he even brought the giant one you guys won at that state fair a couple years ago. I helped bring in a few more just so he feels extra safe and has enough to play with.”, Sean said.

“Okay... are you sure you’re-“, Hotch started.

“ _Aaron. Go. Go spend some time with your fiancé._ You deserve it. Relax, _have some fun._ ”, Sean smirked and chuckled.

“Alright. Tha-“, Hotch started.

“I know, I know. Now _go. Seriously_.”, Sean pushed. 

Hotch started walking to the stairs and once he got to them he ran up into their bedroom and closed the door. 

“Babe?”, he said.

“Hold on.”, she called out as he heard the toilet flushing and the sink turning on. Right after, she came out and almost ran up to Hotch. She grabbed his face and crashed her lips onto his, backing up to the bed, taking his shirt off after hers.

“ _Finally_.”, he said once they were both laying down under the covers. He kissed her slowly until she reached for his pants and slid them off, anxious to shed the rest of their clothes, which she did within seconds. “Honey, slow down.”

“Aaron. It’s been over a month. I’m horny and completely naked and I want you now. I really don’t want to slow down. I want you _inside_ _me_.”, she said.

“Well, when you put it like that...”, he said, rolling on top of her, making her giggle. He leaned down and kissed her while lining himself up and sliding in. “Ohhh _fuck_ babe.”, he sighed and threw his head back.

“Come here.”, she said, reaching for his face and pulling him down. As he started moving in and out, she started moaning. 

“Oh my god.”, he said, rolling his eyes back in his head and throwing it back again. “Fuck. You feel fucking amazing.”

“Shit. Ah, yes.”, she whimpered.

“ _Babe_.”, he moaned, beginning to roll his hips.

“Oh god, right there.”, she said, grabbing his back and pulling him in more. 

He leaned forward and started kissing her neck when all of a sudden the baby started kicking. She tried to ignore it but after a couple minutes it kept going.

“Ugh, would you just _stop?!_ ”, she said.

Hotch immediately pulled back, confused and looked right at her. “I’m sorry... did I do something?”, he asked.

“No, honey it’s not you.”, she said.

“Um...”, he said, still confused.

“It’s the baby, she won’t stop kicking and it’s becoming really uncomfortable on my back now.”, she sighed, placing her hand on the side of her stomach. “Ali, I swear to god. Not right now.”

“Why don’t we try another position?”, he said. 

“Okay.”, she nodded, rolling onto her side, facing him. “Alright, this is a lot more comfortable.”

“Yeah?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she nodded, grabbing his face.

He held her side and brought her leg over his waist while she kissed him. Before he could even enter again, she started crying and dropped her head.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked.

“She’s kicking again and all I want to do is make love to my fiancé and I can’t do anything with-“, she said, beginning to sob and not speak coherently.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”, he said, rubbing her leg and giving her forehead a kiss. He rested his head on her shoulder, giving it a kiss as well. 

“I’m sorry.”, she cried almost hysterically.

“It’s okay, sweetie. It happens. Do you wanna just rest or-, he said.”

“No! I wanna have sex! I miss you!”, she sniffled.

“Okay, let’s just wait it out then.”, he said.

A couple minutes later as she stopped crying, the baby had stopped kicking for a reasonable amount of time. 

“I think she’s done.”, she said, pulling him back and looking at him. She placed her hand on his face and smiled as he guided himself inside her. “Ahh.”, she said, grabbing the back of his head as he began kissing her neck.

“Mmmm.”, he groaned, moving his hips again.

“Thank you, god.”, she said, looking up, making them both laugh. “Okay, now you can go a little more than that.”

“You sure?”, he asked.

“I’m not gonna break. Don’t go as crazy anymore like we used to but you can go more than this.”, she said.

“Whatever you want.”, he said, kissing behind her ear and moving slightly harder and faster. 

“Yes, just like that. Fuck.”, she gasped.

“Mmm, yeah?”, he said.

“Yes.”, she whined, grabbing his face and kissing him deep. She moved her hand down to his back and helped pull each other closer.

“Shit, I’m gonna co-“, he started before she moaned so loud, they were thankful no one else was in the house.

“Fuck! Yes, yes, yes. Oh fuck, oh my god!”, she said, clenching around him.

“Did you just-“, he said.

“Keep going, babe.”, she breathed in his ear as he kept moving, bringing himself closer. “Ah you’re so good. Fuck me, babe. Come on, fuck me harder. Jesus, right there.”

He brought his hand down to her when he felt her tightening around him again. “Ah yeah, babe.”, he grunted, out of breath. “Yeah, yeah. That feels so fucking good. I’m gonna come.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you’re gonna make me come again.”, she said, breathing heavy, chest heaving.

“Uh huh?”, he said.

“Yes! I’m so close. Fuck me. Please. Please fuck me harder. I need you to come with me.”, she said.

“I love you so much.”, he said, moving faster.

“I love you too.”, she said and gasped. “Oh my god, I’m gonna come. Aaron, fuck!”

“Ahh! Jesus, babe! Fuck, you’re so tight! I need you to squeeze me tighter. Just come all over me, babe.”, he said.

“I- I-“, she tried but couldn’t get any more words out before she came for a second time. “Ahh. Yessss. Sooo fucking good.”, she said, riding out her high while he held back from slamming into her.

“Argh! Fuck, I’m coming, babe. Oh god, you’re so sweet. Yes, yes, yes.”, he grunted, pulling her into him until he was done. “Shit, Em.”

“Oh my god. That was _amazing_. Ah, that was just what I needed.”, she laughed, wrapping her arm over his shoulder and kissed him as he pulled out.

“I would hope so, seeing as you finished twice.”, he chuckled.

“I’m sorry. That first one just hit me so hard, so fast. I couldn’t even speak. It was like no warning.”, she said.

“It’s okay. Don’t apologize. I was just surprised. But I’m glad.”, he said.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”, she said.

“For two orgasms?”, he chuckled.

“Well, _that_. But also for giving us this night because now we can also relax and cuddle and do whatever we want for the rest of the night all alone with no interruptions.”, she said.

“You’re welcome. For both.”, he smiled and slowly brought his lips to hers.

“I love you so so so much.”, she giggled.

“I love you even more than that.”, he said.

“If you say so.”, she said, curling up in his arms until they got dressed and went downstairs so he could make her a milkshake. 

They brought it back up to their room and watched some tv before falling asleep earlier than they planned but resting easy.

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**thank you for all the reviews and kudos and everyone reading! please your thoughts on this one, thanks! :)**   
  



	94. Spokane

**Chapter 94**

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Five weeks later, the baby had grown noticeably more, causing Emily to be in more discomfort and anxious to reach the due date. They were going to appointments at the OBGYN every other week and had gotten a 3D ultrasound at their last one, exciting them even more. Hotch finally bought a changing table and set it up in their room, planning to get more items they needed to go along with it in addition to some toys and books.

While Emily was insistent on buying more than what was on their list of things to get, Hotch refused. He knew JJ had been planning a surprise baby shower for Emily and it was starting to get difficult to hide it since she wanted to gather everything they needed before the baby came.

They realized with work being so unpredictable, they had to make sure the shower could be set up last minute if they needed.

On Friday, the whole team figured they would be able to set it up the next day but unfortunately, they got a case.

Back at the BAU, everyone was working at their desks quietly. Emily eventually got up and went to Hotch’s office after debating if she should call him to come down to her, being so tired. But she figured to save that for the last few weeks when she truly wouldn’t feel good enough to always get up.

When she walked up the steps, she noticed his blinds were shut and his door was closed. She knocked on the door but there was no answer. After knocking again and waiting a minute, he still hadn’t responded or gotten the door. She decided to poke her head in to see if he was even in his office but the door was locked, confusing her even more since he never locked it.

She stood there, thinking of what might be going on but snapped out of it when she heard something slam on his desk. Even though she wanted to go in and make sure he was alright, she could tell he would probably need space. Instead of knocking again, she walked down to JJ’s office and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Em, what’s going on?”, JJ asked, concerned when Emily sighed as she sat down in one of the chairs.

“ _I don’t know.._. Did Aaron seem alright when he left your office earlier?”, Emily asked.

“I guess. Why?”, JJ asked.

“He didn’t seem agitated or anything?”, Emily asked.

“No. Why? Did something happen?”, JJ asked.

“I’m not sure. His blinds are shut and his door is closed.”, Emily said.

“He does that a lot.”, JJ said.

“Yeah, but I knocked twice and he didn’t answer. When I tried to open the door, it was _locked_. And then I heard him slam something... He doesn’t really get like that that often. He hasn’t for a while.”, Emily said.

“Weird...”, JJ said.

“ _Nothing seemed off when he was in here?_ ”, Emily asked.

“I mean, his phone kept buzzing and he kept turning it off but he seemed fine. Maybe a little irritated but not too much.”, JJ said.

“Do you know who it was? Did he call them back when you finished up?”, Emily asked.

“I have no idea. I saw him pull his phone out again when he walked out but...”, JJ shrugged her shoulders. “He seemed fine.”

“Hm.”, Emily said, thinking.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”, JJ said.

“ _He locked his door_. And he obviously got angry about something.”, Emily said.

“I don’t know. Maybe just wait until he comes out of his office?”, JJ said.

“I don’t really have a choice. I just really wanted to speak to him _now_.”, Emily said.

“What do you need?”, JJ asked.

“Some Mongolian beef and crab puffs.”, Emily laughed.

“I can go grab some takeout in a few minutes when I take my lunch break.”, JJ said.

“No. I can’t ask you to do that.”, Emily said.

“But you were gonna ask _Aaron_.”, JJ said.

“Yeah because I can guilt him into it by saying it’s his fault I’m in this position.”, Emily laughed. “I’m just really craving some Chinese right now and don’t wanna go get it.”, Emily sighed.

“Let me go.”, JJ said.

“Are you sure?”, Emily asked.

“Positive.”, JJ nodded.

“Thank you. So much.”, Emily said.

“No problem. Let me just finish this up real quick.”, JJ said.

“Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll let you do that. I’m just gonna go back to my desk.”, Emily said.

“Are you _really_ going back to your desk or are you going to try and knock on his door again?”, JJ asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Alright, fine. I’ll go back to my desk.”, Emily said, taking her time to stand up. “I’ll just text him and see if he’s alright.”

“Emily. He obviously needs space right now. Just... let him have it.”, JJ said.

“Fine.”, Emily sighed. “You’re right. I’ll just do some work. I promise.”, she said, walking out of JJ’s office. When she got down to her desk, she pulled out some files and started looking them over. A few minutes later, she saw JJ walking down and rolled over in her chair to Spencer and Derek crowding by her.

“Where are _you_ going?”, Derek asked.

“Gonna go pick up some lunch.”, JJ said.

“Oooo you’re making a food run? Where are you going?”, Derek asked.

“Just to pick up some Chinese for Emily.”, JJ said.

“Oh! Could you get some mo shu chicken and-“, Derek said.

“Egg rolls.”, Spencer said.

“I was gonna say fried rice but those too.”, Derek said.

“Anything else?”, JJ asked, irritated.

“How about some soup? That-“, Spencer said.

“Why don’t I go ask Penelope too?! I know she really loves the hot and sour soup.”, JJ said, rolling her eyes as she walked off to Penelope’s office.

“Really, guys?”, Emily said.

“ _What? You_ asked her to get some.”, Derek said.

“Because _I’m pregnant!_ ”, she said.

“Are you going to use that as an excuse for everything?”, Spencer asked.

“Until you understand what it feels like to be growing another human life and carrying it around all day everyday, getting bigger and bigger constantly... you don’t get to say that.”, she said.

“Well actually, we can understand what it’s like especially because you _tell us_ all the time what it’s like. Every week it-“, Spencer said.

“Don’t even go there. You know what people have described all the symptoms as. But until you experience it for yourself... _you don’t get to say that!_ ”, she snapped.

“We also know what the _hormones_ are like thanks to you yelling at us all the time...”, Spencer said, quietly.

“I _will_ hurt him.”, she said, looking at Derek laughing.

“Alright, alright.”, Derek said, catching his breath. “But for real, how _are_ you feeling?”

“Um. _Well_ ... I’m exhausted more than usual every night because I work all day and my back aches and- actually, every part of me aches. So, because of that I’m tossing and turning and can’t sleep which sucks because of how tired I am. It’s so hard to get comfortable no matter where I am or what I’m doing. Let’s not forget heartburn. My cravings are _very_ strong and even though spicy and greasy things make me feel worse, it’s what I typically crave the most. _Also_ Braxton Hicks contractions. It honestly scared me when it happened the other day. I was so worried something was wrong but we called the doctor and she said it probably wasn’t preterm labor and to just try laying or sitting down and drink some water. So that was fun. I just feel so big and it’s so uncomfortable and Ali is just really feisty. She’s a kicker for sure.”, Emily sighed, throwing her head back and rubbing her stomach.

“Wow...”, Derek said.

“You know, you can try and prevent Braxton Hicks contractions from happening too much. What were you doing before they came on? Because pushing yourself at work here probably isn’t a great idea. But they tend to happen most when you’re dehydrated or tired especially after exercise or sex. So, when you’re-“, Spencer said.

“Reid!”, she said.

“What? I’m just wondering because if you were-“, Spencer started.

“I’m not answering that. But ever since, Aaron makes sure I have water with me at all times and watches me like a hawk to make sure I’m not pushing myself and that I’m taking breaks. He also carries around a protein bar or some healthy snack all the time for me and practically forces me to eat it.”, she laughed.

“As he should.”, Derek said.

“I know.”, she smiled. “He’s very good. He takes care of me. He says it’s because I don’t do it enough for myself but I think it makes him feel good treating me well and spoiling me when he can.”, she laughed.

“Good man, indeed.”, Derek said.

“So when’s the wedding? We’ve gotten no update on that.”, Spencer said.

“God, I have no idea. Not until Ali’s at least a few months old probably. It’s not gonna be a huge thing though. I wouldn’t get too excited over it. Besides, it already feels like we’re married. The only difference after the wedding will be that we signed a paper saying we legally are.”, she said.

“How low key are we talking? Is there gonna be bridesmaids and groomsmen? Flower girl? Like... what?”, Derek asked.

“I really don’t know everything yet but probably not a flower girl since that’s cheesy and I don’t know any little girl who would do it. I assume Jack would be the ring bearer which would be so cute. I know I wanted JJ as my maid of honor but I can’t have Penelope be left out because I want her in the wedding too. I guess I’ll have to find a couple other bridesmaids but I can’t think of anyone else. I’m sure Aaron will have some of you guys be his groomsmen and choose one to be his best man but I also don’t know who that would be. I’m sure he’ll have Carson and Sean in it. One of them would probably be his best man. But honestly, I don’t want a big super fancy wedding dress or a veil or a bunch of people there. Just you guys and a couple friends. Maybe my parents but that’s it. It’ll be small.”, she said.

“Where is it gonna be then?”, Spencer asked.

“Dave actually _asked_ if we would have it in his backyard. He said he’d set up an open bar and some tables and dance floor- just everything. So, I think we’re considering that.”, she said.

“Hey. Open bar, I’m there.”, Derek laughed.

“I would hope you’d be there regardless but good to know.”, she rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Any word on who’s taking his place when he leaves?”, Spencer asked.

“I’m still not sure but I know a couple people him and Strauss have in mind.”, she said.

“ _Who?_ ”, Derek asked.

“I still can’t exactly tell you. You know this. I’ve already said it. You’ll know when you know.”, she said.

“Right.”, Derek nodded.

“Believe it or not, he doesn’t tell me _everything_. Just because of our relationship, doesn’t mean I get special treatment or get to hear about more confidential information than everyone else. He’s very professional and doesn’t go against anything that isn’t allowed at work or could get him fired. He doesn’t bend the rules.”, she said.

“Well... except for getting involved with a member of his team and not telling anyone for over a year.”, Spencer said.

“Okay, we weren’t just sleeping together. It wasn’t just some fling or affair. We’ve been in a relationship this whole time. Living together. _In love_ . We weren’t just having some fun with each other during after work hours. He’s my _partner_.”, she said.

“Still wasn’t really allowed and could’ve gotten him fired.”, Spencer said.

“Are you guys still hurt by that? That we didn’t tell you for so long?”, she asked.

“I mean... not really _anymore_ . It definitely hurt when we found out. I mean you guys kept that from us for almost a _year and a half_.”, Spencer said.

“Hey, listen... we’re not mad at you guys now. We understand why you kept it from us but... _we’re family_ . It was a little hurtful to know you lied for so long. But like I said... we _understand_.”, Derek said.

“I’m really sorry, you guys. It’s not that we didn’t trust you. It’s just- there were lots of reasons. We didn’t even tell JJ. She just happened to find out and same with Dave. To be fair, I wanted to tell you guys way before he did. But it’s in the past now, right? We’ve moved on? We’re here now.”, she said.

“Emily. Two of our best friends are having a baby and getting married to each other. We’re more than happy for you guys. All of that other stuff is history.”, Spencer said.

“Okay. Good.”, she smiled.

“ _Although_ ... I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed that you guys didn’t consider naming the baby, _Spencer_.”, Spencer said.

“This again?”, she rolled her eyes.

“It’s a good name!”, Spencer said.

“Aaron had it on his list but we weren’t going to name our kid after you.”, she laughed.

“Fine... what about for a middle name?”, Spencer asked.

“We already have one as well.”, she said.

“What?! What is it?”, Derek asked.

“ _Riley_.”, she smiled.

“That _is_ pretty cute.”, Derek said, looking at Spencer.

“Wait, is she taking _your_ last name or _Hotch’s?_ ”, Spencer asked.

“His. And so am I when we get married.”, she said.

“So she’ll be-“, Spencer started.

“ _Alison Riley Hotchner_.”, she smiled and rubbed her stomach.

“ _Alriiiight_... I kind of love it. Even though my name isn’t in there.”, Spencer said, making Emily laugh.

“Good. I’m glad _you_ approve.”, she said, making them all laugh.

“Hey, is Hotch ever gonna come out of his office?”, Derek asked.

“I don’t know... last I checked, it was locked. He never does that... Do you guys know something?”, she asked.

“No. I saw him walking out of JJ’s office earlier and he answered his phone as he went into his office.”, Derek said.

“He _did_ seem kind of stressed but I have no idea why or what it’s about.”, Spencer said.

“I just wanna know if he’s okay.”, she said.

“Why don’t you text him or knock on his door?”, Derek said.

“Because he didn’t open it when I knocked twice before and JJ told me to leave him alone... But I really don’t want to.”, she said.

“Then go knock.”, Derek said.

“No... I shouldn’t. He seems like he needs his space right now and besides... I don’t feel like standing up and moving.”, she laughed. “Oh. That’s JJ.”, she said when her phone buzzed. “I guess she’s heading back in a few minutes. That was fast. She probably called and placed the order on her way there.”

When JJ finally arrived, she walked inside, struggling to open the glass doors. Carrying bags in both arms with takeout boxes in them, JJ held on tight.

“ _Someone help the poor woman!_ ”, Emily said, staying seated in her chair.

Derek and Spencer stood up and grabbed some bags from JJ and helped her lay out all the food at each of their desks when Penelope walked out. 

“ _You_ could help too, you know.”, Derek said to Emily.

“I’m 30 weeks pregnant!”, she said.

“Okay, so we _are_ going to use that as an excuse for everything after all.”, Spencer said.

“Shut it.”, she pointed at him.

“JJ, I don’t remember _you_ being this mean when you were seven months pregnant. Or really at all during all three trimesters.”, Spencer said.

“Everyone is different.”, JJ laughed, bringing Emily’s boxes over to her desk.

“ _Thank you_.”, Emily said.

“You’re welcome. And you have every right to be bitchy.”, JJ laughed.

“I’m not bitchy!”, Emily said.

“... You’re a little bitchy.”, Penelope said, walking over to her and pulling up a chair to sit beside her.

“I hate you all.”, Emily shook her head and opened her box of Mongolian beef, picking up her chopsticks.

“I’m gonna go check and see if Rossi wants any.”, JJ said, walking up to his office and coming out right after. “He said he’s fine.”

“Well, should we check and see if _Aaron_ wants any?”, Emily asked.

“He’ll come out soon.”, JJ said. And within twenty minutes, he _did_.

He opened his door and walked down quietly while everyone was chatting and eating with each other. Having her back turned to his office, Emily didn’t notice him coming out at first. When he approached her, he stood next to her right by Penelope.

“ _Hey_.”, Emily said and reached her hand out for him. She held his arm and looked up, noticing he was definitely off.

“Hey. What do you got there?”, he asked.

“Crab puffs... you want some?”, she asked.

“I’ll take one. Unless you’re really hungry and were planning on having them all.”, he said.

“No, no. Go ahead.”, she said.

“Let me guess... you also got Mongolian beef.”, he said.

“You know me very well.”, she said.

“You’ve gotten the same order every time we get Chinese food during the pregnancy. Do I even have to ask about the spice level being the hottest one?”, he said, raising an eyebrow, stepping over to her desk to grab some food.

“It sounded really good!”, she said.

“You know it gives you heartburn lately.”, he said.

“Yes and I’ll deal with it but it’s so _delicious_.”, she said, rolling over to him leaning against and sitting on her desk.

“Yeah, well...”, he let out a half laugh that was obviously fake and looked down as he took a bite. She stood up and held his arms.

“Honey, what’s going on?”, she leaned in and asked quietly.

“Now’s really not the time to talk about it.”, he said.

“I heard you slam something in your office and you locked the door. That’s not like you. Can we go in there and talk?”, she asked.

“Em-“, he started.

“Aaron, please. Don’t shut me out. I’d wait till we get home tonight but you seem stressed right now and it also seems to be affecting your work.”, she said.

He looked up at her and sighed, grabbing both of her boxes of food and stood up, heading towards his office. She grabbed her water and followed him up and inside, closing the door behind her. He walked over to the couch and sat down with her joining him. He took a bite of a crab puff while she continued eating the beef before he spoke. 

“I’m sorry I locked the door but I couldn’t have any interruptions and just... needed some space from everyone and everything in that moment.”, she said.

“Aaron, what happened?”, she asked. He sighed and looked down. “JJ said your phone kept going off. Does it have something to do with that?”

“Sean kept calling me but I kept declining the call because I couldn’t talk at the moment. But then he texted me and said it was urgent and I got really frustrated so I waited until JJ and I were done talking.”, he said.

“Was it about Jack?”, she asked, worried.

“No. No. Jack is at school. Besides, _we_ would be the first people that would get a call about him.”, he said.

“Okay, good.”, she nodded. “So what happened...?”

“My mom is sick.”, he said, looking straight ahead and nodding, avoiding eye contact at that moment.

“ _What?_ Did the cancer come back?”, she asked.

“No, actually... it’s her liver...”, he said.

“How bad?”, she said, upset.

“End-stage liver disease.”, he said. 

“How long does she have?”, she asked.

“Her doctors said a few months.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she sighed, setting her food down and taking his. She grabbed his hands and held them in hers over his lap while he still stared straight ahead until he dropped his head. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”, she stroked the back of his neck and rested her forehead against the side of it on his shoulder.

“She did it to herself this time.”, he said, seeming upset yet still in shock.

“Alcohol?”, she asked.

“I guess so. I had no idea. Apparently that’s been going on for years.”, he said.

“Aaron...”, she said. 

He turned his head to face her and she pulled hers back to look at him. “I just feel like I don’t know anybody anymore. You know? How did I not know that was going on for years? I mean, I get that I didn’t visit her or keep in contact with her but I’m supposed to be contacted when she’s brought into a hospital or receiving serious medical care. I should’ve known... _I’m_ the one that she left to make medical decisions for her. If she’s in a hospital and decisions need to be made, _I’m_ the one responsible for that. _I_ still take care of some of those bills if they ever come up. Why wasn’t I notified about _any_ of this? I had to hear it from _Sean_ .”, he said, clenching his jaw and holding back tears partially out of frustration. “She called _him_ . But _I_ took care of her when she was sick. _I_ paid the bills, _I_ drove her to and from treatments and _I_ stayed with her at home on days she was feeling exceptionally horrible. I did _everything_ to make sure she was okay. But now when she’s _really_ dying... she doesn’t even _call me?_ I mean... who _does_ that?”, he shook his head.

“Sweetie... come here.”, she said, guiding his head to rest on her shoulder. She reached to the other side of his head and stroked it through his hair and down his neck. “I don’t know... We can analyze people and their behaviors, all day long. We can look at their lives and find what makes them the person they are, why they do what they do, but at the end of the day... we can’t always justify them. And I know it doesn’t make sense how some people can have the exact same experience or grow up the same but turn out so different. We can question all of these things but... we’ll never really know and we have to live with that. But _none of this_ is on you. _None of it_ is your fault. You weren’t a bad son, you didn’t do anything wrong. You took care of her and if she’s choosing not to reach out again, that’s on her. But it’s not because of anything you ever did. Okay? You need to know that.”, she said.

“I do... And as mad as I am and don’t want to have anything to do with her... she’s still my mom. She wasn’t always like this. She was most of my life but... there were a few years... the first few of my life that I _can_ remember where she was a _good_ mom.”, he said.

“What happened?”, she asked.

“I don’t really know. I was young. I know things started to get bad before she got sick but when she _did,_ that’s when it got really bad. I tried to understand how our mother didn’t do anything to stop it. I tried to understand what would make a person practically turn a blind eye to that. I told myself over the years growing up, trying to come up with a reason for that and reasons why she _wasn’t_ a bad mom, that it _wasn't_ her fault. I would think... she was a victim too, she was sick so she couldn’t help, _she_ never laid a hand on us... but then again... she never stopped the person who did.”, he said.

“You don’t have to defend her or _justify_ her actions or _lack_ thereof.”, she said.

“I was so confused then. Not knowing what to believe or think or feel. Because it made me mad to think about what she was doing but I felt guilty too because of all those things I would tell myself. I’d tell myself that so I had a reason to not be so angry or have to face the fact that _both_ my parents were dysfunctional. But then _I_ became a parent and I can’t even imagine- I just- there is _nothing_ I wouldn’t do to protect my kids from any harm that could come their way. _Nothing_ . And I can’t even think of how you can get to a place where you could harm your own child. I know the psychology and all that behind it but holding my son in my arms for the first time... all I thought was how that would be the last thing I would ever want him to experience and how I could never do anything but love him with my whole heart. And same with Ali.”, he said, placing his hand on her stomach. “I haven’t even held her yet but I know that I would give my life before I let anything happen to her or Jack. Or you. Your children are supposed to feel _safe_ with you. It’s just so precious seeing a simple smile on their face and you never want them to feel any pain in their life. So, how some people can intentionally do that and be okay with themselves... I’ll never understand.”, he said.

“You don’t have to. You just have to make- _we_ just have to make sure we show our kids how much we love them and care for them which we are already doing.”, she said, kissing his head.

“Yeah.”, he sighed and rubbed her stomach.

“So what are you gonna do?”, she asked.

“Nothing right now, I guess.”, he said.

“You don’t wanna go see her?”, she asked.

“Not yet. I’ll make sure I say _goodbye_. Just... not yet.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she nodded. “What do you need?”

“Just this.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said, kissing his head again. “I’m right here.”

“I love you.”, he said.

“I love you too, sweetie.”, she said.

“ _Thank you_.”, he said.

“For what?”, she asked.

“For loving me, for agreeing to marry me, for having our baby. For everything.”, he said.

“Thank you for letting me in your life and allowing me to _do so_.”, she said.

“My pleasure.”, he said, bringing his head up and resting his chin on her shoulder. He kissed her cheek and sat up more wrapping his arm around her and kissing _her_ head.

“Do you wanna do something special tomorrow? Something happy and fun. Cheer you up.”, she said.

“Oh. Uhh...”, he said, thinking about how they were planning on having the surprise baby shower that day. “Let’s just stay at home. I’d like to just relax, play outside, have an easy weekend.”

“Okay. Sure.”, she said, leaning into him. “It’s just I’d like to get out more while I still can and all.”

“Maybe on Sunday.”, he said.

“Well... why Sunday but not tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Em. Stop. Let’s just relax tomorrow.”, he said.

“You _do_ know that you’re a bad liar when you’re lying to me and I see right through you even if it’s ever convincing.”, she said.

“Emily. Stop doing that.”, he said.

“Is there some surprise for me tomorrow at the house? Is that why you wanna stay there and not go out?”, she asked.

“ _Emily_.”, he said.

“ _What?!_ I’m right, aren’t I?”, she said.

“You’re _impossible_.”, he said.

“Is it... um... oh my god. Wait. Is it a baby shower?”, she asked.

“Dammit, Emily.”, he said.

“It _is!_ I _knew_ it!”, she said.

“When I tell you to leave something alone... _leave it alone._ ”, he said.

“I’m sorry, honey. I told you I didn’t want one though.”, she said.

“We just-“, he started.

“ _But_ ... it _does_ kind of sound fun after all...”, she said, catching his attention.

“Really?”, he asked.

“Yeah.”, she smiled.

“Well... good to know...”, he nodded. “Not that we have anything planned already but...”, he said, pretending like they _didn’t_.

“Mmhmm. Sure.”, she giggled, leaning in for a kiss. “It’s gonna be okay.”, she said, pressing her forehead to his and closing their eyes when she pulled back. She held his face and stroked it with her thumb until she felt him nod slightly and kiss her forehead.

“I know.”, he smiled when she opened her eyes. 

As he went in for another kiss she leaned in more. When he was about to pull away, she held on and kissed him deeper, adding tongue and surprising him. She ran her fingers through his hair and eventually slid his suit jacket off. For a moment, he forgot about everything else and went with it, wrapping his arms around her. But once she grabbed his tie, he snapped out of it and pulled his lips off of hers.

“Wait, Em. We can’t do this here.”, he said.

“Why not?”, she smiled and bit her lip, continuing to undo his tie.

“ _Em_.”, he laughed, taking her hands off his tie. 

“ _Aaron_.”, she whined.

“Babe. We’re at work. I can’t do this in my office. I can’t do this at work _at all_.”, he said.

“I went down on you in here before.”, she said.

“That was _once_. And it was pretty quick. But I shouldn’t have even let you do that. Seriously. That shouldn’t have happened.”, he said.

“It’s just these stupid hormones.”, she said, biting her lip again and placing a hand on his thigh.

“Maybe tonight at _home_.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she sighed, going for his tie.

“No, don’t-“, he said.

“I’m _fixing it_ for you.”, she said.

“Oh. Sorry.”, he said. 

As he was grabbing his suit jacket next to him, he got a text and pulled out his phone. “Ahh...”, he sighed.

“What is it?”, she asked, dropping her hands.

“We got a case.”, he said.

“Great!”, she said.

“Sweetie, there’s probably people that were killed. It’s not great.”, he said.

“No, I know that. _Obviously_. We just haven’t had a case for a while. I’m glad we have work we can do and travel.”, she said.

“Are you sure you’re okay to travel? You’re 30 weeks.”, he said.

“The doctor said I can fly up to 36.”, she said.

“Yes, but she also said it would be a good idea for you specifically to make it between 32 and 34. Just because of all the stress you’ll be putting on your body with our work while we _are_ traveling.”, he said.

“Well, even if I decide to stop at 32 weeks, I’m still okay now. Besides, you don’t let me go out in the field anyways.”, she said.

“I let you go out... just not _out in the field_. It’s dangerous.”, he said.

“Yeah, I know. Stick to staying at the field offices and talking to victims, going to crime scenes, all that. I don’t have the energy to chase after criminals right now anyways.”, she laughed. “But I’m okay to fly right now.”

“I know. I just worry about you. _And_ the baby.”, he said.

“We’re fine.”, she smiled and gave him a kiss, standing up and waited for him before they walked out together.

They met everyone in the conference room and briefed for their case in Spokane, Washington. When JJ was done, Hotch stood up and said, “Wheels up in 20.”

“Oh my god.”, Emily said, putting her hand over her mouth and tearing up.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah, I just- I just realized that could be the last time you say _“Wheels up.”_ and that’s-“, she sniffled.

“Okay, come on.”, he whispered, helping her up.

Once they drove to the jet, Hotch tried to help Emily on but as always, she refused and walked up the steps on her own. However, she _did_ let him carry her bag. When they sat down, Hotch pulled out a pillow for her back but she pushed it away.

“Your back starts to hurt on long flights.”, he said.

“I’m fine. These seats are _very_ comfortable.”, she said.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yes. I’m positive, but hand me the headphones.”, she said.

“So you decided to take my advice about playing music for the baby while we talk about details of the cases.”, JJ said.

“I don't want her first words to be _“sexual sadist”_ or _“sociopath”_ or _“bludgeoned to death”_ , now _do I?_ ”, Emily whispered.

“Exactly.”, JJ laughed.

“You said Henry listened to Beethoven?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah. And also whenever he started kicking, even at home, I’d get the headphones and play it... made him stop.”, JJ said.

“Really?”, Emily said.

“Yeah. Worked like a charm.”, JJ said.

“So... Beethoven?”, Hotch chuckled, plugging a pair of headphones into his phone and turning on some music.

“Yep.”, Emily said, taking them from him and putting them on her stomach. “This feels so weird.”, she laughed.

“You’ll get used to it.”, JJ said.

“Okay, just listen to the music.”, Emily said, rubbing her stomach.

“Alright... we’ve got four bodies in one week and now another missing. Our unsub doesn’t seem to have a type. Victims vary in age, race, gender... The only thing that tells us this is the same guy is that each victim is shot once in the head execution style with the same gun. Also the fact that they go missing for 24 hours and then a letter shows up at the victim’s families houses with the same message.“, Hotch said.

“Which says... _“I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I’m the only one to blame.”_ They’re all written by the victim it seems. That’s what the analysts said, that the handwriting matched with their own but what is our unsub trying to say?”, Derek said.

“It could be about getting the victims to admit to something that _they_ did? Maybe something that affected the unsub. Maybe they knew him and screwed him over.”, Emily said.

“That doesn’t make sense though. Nothing about them is similar. Nothing in their life seems to be similar. It’s highly unlikely they knew each other or the unsub.”, Hotch said.

“They might’ve not known _each other_ but they could have some connection to the _unsub_.”, Emily said.

“They’re all from different parts of town, all different incomes, none of the same-“, Hotch said.

“Okay but what if-“, Emily started.

“They’re not connected.”, Hotch said, shutting her down.

“But the _crimes_ are and there’s a reason.”, Emily said.

“What about occupation?”, Spencer asked.

“One of them was a lawyer, another was an accountant, college student, prison guard... it’s all over the place.”, JJ said.

“Was there any crossover in any of their lives with each other?”, Spencer asked.

“Not that we can see so far but they’ve got all the files on everyone at the station so we’ll check them out when we get there.”, Hotch said.

“Has this unsub left any messages or signs for us other than the letters to the families?”, Derek asked.

“Not that we can tell so far.”, JJ said.

“Something about this seems really familiar.”, Rossi said.

“I know. I was thinking the same thing.”, Emily said, looking at a file seriously. “What if- hmm.”

“What?”, Hotch asked.

“No. Nothing.”, Emily shook her head, not wanting to say anything to him that he could shoot down again. Besides, she couldn’t figure out what it was anyways.

“We have less than a day before we get the next letter for our current missing victim. We need to get more background on all our victims when we land. As soon as possible.”, Hotch said.

“If they haven’t received a letter yet, then how do even know it’s our unsub?”, Spencer asked.

“Because our missing person is a detective. And the last letter mentioned him by name...”JJ said.

After they landed and got to the station, they were greeted by the chief of police and other detectives working the case. They set up in a conference room and started combing through files. Emily was pinning photos to a board and connecting different pieces, starting to stress herself out and Hotch noticed. He pulled a chair out and walked up to her.

“Why don’t you take a seat and look through that other stuff for now?”, he said.

“I’m fine, Aaron.”, she said, not even looking at him.

“You’ve been on your feet for over an hour. You should take a break or at least rest while looking through files.”, he said.

“I said I’m fine.”, she told him.

“Emily-“, he started.

“ _I said I’m fine!_ ”, she snapped.

“Alright... I’m sorry.”, he said.

“Emily, why don’t you come with me to grab the M.E. report on our latest victim?”, Rossi said, standing up.

By the look on his face, she could tell he wanted to talk to her about something else and agreed, knowing she _did_ need a quick break but didn’t want to settle for Hotch’s idea. She walked out with Rossi and headed down to the M.E.‘s office when he stopped in a hallway away from everyone.

“What are you doing?”, she asked.

“I already have the report.”, he said.

“What? Then why did you-“, she started.

“You needed a break.”, he said.

“Listen, I really don’t need one more man telling me to take a break.”, she said.

“Am I asking you to sit down and take a break from working?”, he asked.

“Well, no. But-“, she started.

“You need a break from Aaron and everyone else. From that room. Because I know you sense something about this. And I know he’s not listening to you.”, he said.

“So what _are_ you asking?”, she said.

“What do you think is going on here?”, he asked.

“ _I don’t know._ I just know I’ve seen something like this before. I _know_ these victims have to be connected in some way. And definitely to the unsub as well. _They’re not random_.”, she said.

“I agree.”, he said.

“You _what?_ ”, she said.

“I think you’re right because I’m thinking the same thing. But he’s not going to listen to either of us without some more evidence of that.”, he said.

“He might if _you_ suggest it.”, she scoffed.

“Why? Because I’m a _man?_ ”, he asked.

“He doesn’t always take my opinion seriously with work.”, she said.

“He may be a hardass and has a big ego sometimes and just intense all together but he is _not_ sexist. You of all people should know that. He knows you’re an amazing agent. Better than most. This has nothing to do with you.”, he said.

“He just disagrees with me at work so much since the pregnancy. It’s like he thinks I have pregnancy brain clouding my judgment here.”, she said.

“It’s not that.”, he said.

“Well, what is it?”, she said.

“I honestly don’t know but it’s not that. It could just be that he wants to be right and feel accomplished before he leaves.”, he said.

“But he wants to. I never asked him to retire.”, she said.

“Yeah but he still wants a few wins. Look. Don’t focus on that right now. Let’s focus on finding a link. I agree with you, okay? I even talked to him and told him that and he told me the same thing he told you. It’s not about you. Trust me.”, he said.

“He’s still being an ass.”, she whispered.

“Agreed.”, he laughed.

“Alright. Do you have _any_ clue as to what’s going on?”, she asked.

“Have you ever had a case like this? Just with the basic information. Don’t think too hard.”, he said.

“Yes.”, she said.

“What ended up being the link between the unsub and each victim?”, he asked.

“I- I don’t know. There’s been a couple. It’s not always common like this.”, she said.

“You’re overthinking. Clear your mind. Just close your eyes and clear your mind.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she breathed, doing what he said.

“What is something we always ask victims and their families from the beginning when they don’t know who did it?”, he said.

“I- I’m not sure.”, she sighed, getting frustrated. “Lots of things. It depends on the-“

“No. See. You’re getting in your head too much. Slow down and think. What do we ask when we’re using _process of elimination_. A lot of times people don’t think of anyone who fits this. There’s one specific thing we ask. You know this.”, he said.

“It seems like _you_ do. Why don’t you just say it?”, she said.

“Because you need to get it too. Just trust me. What do we ask?”, he said and watched her take a few breaths, keeping her eyes closed, focusing.

“Was there anyone who may have wanted to hurt you or your family? Was there anyone threatening you?”, she said, opening her eyes wide.

“There. Right there.”, he pointed.

“Well what do we do?”, she said.

“What do you think we need to do first?”, he asked.

“Um... see if...”, she said, thinking. “Talk to the detective’s family and find out if anyone was threatening him.”

“Yes. And from there, that could potentially narrow down our search or ideas for people who could have been threatening or wanting to hurt our _other_ victims.”, he said.

“Let’s go.”, she said, starting to walk back to the conference room with Rossi. She grabbed the keys and her phone as Hotch walked over to her.

“Where are you going?”, he asked.

“We need to go talk to that detective’s family.”, she said.

“Everyone already has. That was just about the first thing they did.”, he said.

“I don’t really have time to argue right now but I really think we need to go talk to them again. Are you coming with?”, she asked, ready to go.

“Um... yeah, sure.”, he said, taking the keys from her. “I’m sorry but I do think I should drive.”

“That’s fine. I don’t really want to.”, she said, walking out of the station with him and Rossi.

When they got to the house, Hotch walked up and knocked on the door, flashing their badges when the missing detective’s wife answered the door.

“I’m sorry to bother you again, ma’am but we were hoping to take another look around, ask a few more questions.”, Hotch said.

“Of course. Please, come in.”, she said, letting them in.

“Thank you.”, Emily said, feeling even worse for the wife once she noticed she was pregnant. Hotch and Rossi pulled out some gloves and began searching around the house, going upstairs.

“I’m Stephanie.”, the wife said, shaking Emily’s hand.

“Agent Prentiss but... you can call me Emily. May we sit?”, Emily asked, motioning her hand to the couch.

“Yes. Of course. Can I get you anything? Water? Iced tea?”, Stephanie asked.

“No, that’s alright. Thank you.”, Emily smiled, taking a seat on their couch. “You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you. We actually just bought it a few months ago or so.”, Stephanie said.

“My fiancé and I just recently bought a house as well.”, Emily said.

“Oh wow. Where are you from?”, Stephanie asked.

“D.C.”, Emily said.

“You guys really _do_ travel all over, huh?”, Stephanie said.

“Oh yeah. _All_ over.”, Emily said.

“How many more weeks do you have before you have to stop _flying_ all over?”, Stephanie asked, looking at her stomach.

“About six more. I’m 30 weeks right now. How far along are _you?_ ”, Emily asked.

“Almost 30.”, Stephanie laughed.

“Wow.”, Emily smiled in amazement.

“Is-“, Stephanie started before Hotch walked down the stairs alone and went over to Emily.

“Can I see you outside for a moment?”, he asked.

“Um... sure.”, she said to him. “I’ll be right back.”, she said to Stephanie before walking outside with Hotch. 

He went to the car parked at the curb and brought back a water bottle and protein bar, making Emily roll her eyes.

“Dont.”, he said.

“Aaron. I was in the middle of talking to her. I need to ask some questions so we can hopefully find who took her husband.”, she said.

“Honey, you need to eat something and hydrate.”, he said, coming back to her.

“Aaron, I don’t have time for this.”, she said.

“Shut up and eat a few bites. Take a couple drinks of this and then you can go back in there.”, he said.

“Don’t you-“, she started but he raised an eyebrow.

“Emily, I’m serious. Taking care of the baby means taking care of yourself too.”, he said, rubbing her stomach.

“Give me the damn bar.”, she said, grabbing and opening it, she quickly ate half of it while he handed the water bottle to her, already having taken off the cap. She chugged half of it and handed it back to him.

“Keep the water bottle with you. I’ll hold onto the bar for you to finish in the car.”, he said.

“You’re so irritating.”, she said, giving him a quick kiss.

“I love you too, hun.”, he chuckled as they walked back inside.

“I’m so sorry about that. Um, what were you about to ask before?”, Emily said, sitting back down while Hotch walked back upstairs.

“It’s fine and I was just going to ask if this was your first.”, Stephanie said.

“Oh, yes. It is.”, Emily said, rubbing her stomach a little. “And you?”

“Ours as well.”, Stephanie smiled. “Is he your fiancé?”

“Oh, uh, Agent Hotchner?”, Emily said.

“I only assumed since he pulled you outside and well... he put his hand on your back briefly that seemed more than professional and you have some water now. I heard the car door so I assume he went to it to get you some.”, Stephanie said.

“He is, yeah.”, Emily laughed. “Very observant. You put that together very well.”

“I’m married to a detective. You learn to just pick up on things and notice a lot I guess. Besides, he’s the same way with me. Hopefully our son will be just as bright as him.”, Stephanie laughed and then looked down.

“I’m sure he will.”, Emily smiled and nodded her head.

“What are you having? Do you know?”, Stephanie asked.

“A girl.”, Emily said.

“We were hoping for one but we were happier than we thought when we found out it was a boy.”, Stephanie said, sniffling and leaving a moment of silence. 

“I know this is hard. Believe me... I have been in this situation a couple times with my fiancé. I know how scared you must be and how helpless you may feel but we are going to do _everything_ we can to help him. But... I have a few questions I have to ask if that’s alright.”, Emily said.

“Yes. Of course. Anything you need to know.”, Stephanie said.

“Good.”, Emily nodded. “Okay. Was there anyone you can think of that could have been threatening him or your family?”

“Over the years, he’s gotten some threats, mainly from people he’s arrested or put away. Never directed at me or anything. But... no one has ever acted on them.”, Stephanie said.

“Would you receive the threats in the mail or did they say them to his face or any phone calls?”, Emily asked.

“People have mainly just said them to him but all of them are put away. There was _one_ guy who wrote a letter not too long ago.”, Stephanie said.

“Only _one?_ ”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, Stephanie said.

“Do you still have it?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah, I remember Steven saying that this one particular guy was pretty dangerous I guess and we should hold onto it.”, Stephanie said.

“Where is that?”, Emily asked, suddenly feeling she was onto something.

“In a box upstairs with the rest. Over the years we have gotten hate mail but this was the only one that really shook him and I guess was threatening.”, Stephanie said.

“I’m gonna need to see that letter.”, Emily said.

“Of course.”, Stephanie said right as Rossi walked downstairs holding it in his hand.

“I think you’re gonna want to see this.”, Rossi said.

When they got back to the station, they combed through the files on the case of the man that sent the letter to the missing detective.

“We got him.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron, something-“, Emily said.

“No, you were right. All these people he’s killed so far... some of them were part of the jury on his case. The lawyer was the prosecutor on his case, the prison guard worked at his prison. He’s taking out people who put him away or that I guess he didn’t like so much on the inside.”, Hotch said, grabbing the keys.

“Aaron, wait. I still-“, she started.

“You were right. They were connected. I’m sorry I doubted you but we got the guy.”, Hotch said.

“That was just-“, she started again.

“We’ll be back. Alright? Got the address, got a name, we’re going to bring back Steven. Just stay here and relax, okay?”, he said, rushing out.

“Wait, but... ugh.”, she said.

“What’s troubling you?”, Rossi asked.

“Why aren’t you going with everyone?”, she asked.

“They’ve got it. I’m okay here. With you.”, he said.

“Are you babysitting me?”, she asked.

“He didn’t exactly ask me to but merely... _suggested_ it.”, he said.

“I don’t have the energy to get mad about that right now.”, she said.

“Okay, I’ll ask you again. What’s troubling you?”, he asked.

“Something doesn’t add up.”, she said.

“You mean because it was too easy?”, he said.

“Yeah. I mean, there was no evidence at the crime scenes that linked it to this guy yet he made it easy for us to find him. He’s got a high I.Q. and controlled a major drug cartel business for years. He’s not stupid. It’s like he’s leading us straight to him. Besides, this wasn’t the only crime he was known for committing obviously. It seems almost like a set up. It just doesn’t feel right.”, she sighed.

“Well...”, he threw his hands up but not quite giving up.

“ _Dave. He’s leading us straight to him._ ”, she said, pulling out a case file, having a revelation.

“Okay, but why?”, he asked.

“He wants something more. He wants revenge, right? That’s what this whole thing was _about. Right?_ ”, she said.

“Yeah and he got it. Well, he didn’t finish killing everyone but too bad for him.”, he chuckled.

“He just got out of prison. He probably has people on the outs. He’s still got connections. _He wouldn’t do this alone. He wouldn’t let us get to him if he was alone._ He has other people working with him.”, she said.

“Okay...”, he said.

“They’re like family to him...”, she said quietly, trying to think.

“Sure...”, he said.

“They’d do anything for him.”, she said.

“Right. And?”, he said.

“Family would do anything for each other...”, she said and suddenly thought of her own.

“Where are you going with this?”, he asked.

“What would they want with the feds?”, she asked.

“Well, he was part of a big drug cartel so of course feds were in on his case too.”, he said.

“But was the BAU?”, she asked.

“No.”, he said.

“Right so why would he have the BAU lured to him?”, she asked.

“Okay, now _I’m_ in my head too much. Unless I’m missing something here.”, he said.

“Okay, so the BAU may not have been involved in _his_ case but what if they were connected to him somehow? He must’ve known what type of crimes to commit to get us here. Like I said, this wasn’t the only type of crime he committed before he was locked up. It’s not his typical thing. He must’ve known what would bring us here.”, she said.

“How would we be connected?”, he asked.

“I don’t know...”, she said, beginning to pace the room.

“Alright, go back to what you were saying before because you obviously think it’s connected somehow.”, he said.

“About what?”, she said.

“About family.”, he said.

“It’s just... what keeps going around in my mind... family would do anything for each other. _Especially_ people like him. They’re loyal. Revenge. Family. Revenge. Fami- wait. What did we get on his history and family when we did a background on him?”, she asked.

“We _didn’t_.”, he said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”, she said.

“What are you thinking?”, he said.

“What if _someone in his family_ has a connection to the BAU. _Revenge. Family. Luring us to him._ It’s- okay. Hold on.”, she said, pulling out her phone.

“Calling Garcia?”, he asked.

“Of course.”, she said. “Garcia, I need you to send me everything you have on our unsub including family. _Everything. Now_.”, Emily said, hanging up and breathing heavy.

“Okay, I think you need to sit down.”, he said.

“I swear if one more person tells me to-“, she said and stopped, wincing in pain and put her hand on her stomach.

“Emily. Are you alright?”, he asked, standing up.

“Yeah, I just- ah.”, she said, setting her hand on the table for stability.

“It really doesn’t seem like it...”, he said, putting his hand on her back and the other on her arm. “What is it?”

“I think it’s just Braxton Hicks. This is what it felt like last time.”, she said, breathing.

“Okay, now really. Sit down. I’m gonna get you some more water. Rest your feet on the other chair. That should help.”, he said, helping her sit down and going to the vending machine to grab her another bottle of water. He came back in and handed it to her.

“Thank you.”, she sighed, taking a sip and throwing her head back, rubbing her stomach, and practicing her breathing.

“Let me see the computer.”, he said, sliding it over to him and clicked on the files that Garcia sent.

“What do they say?”, she asked.

“Is your pain going away?”, he asked.

“Yes, now show me the damn computer.”, she said. He gave her a look and she sighed. “I’m sorry. Please show me the computer.”

“Much better.”, he chuckled, sliding it back over to her. “Okay, this says his mother died a while ago. Health issues. Alright... um... two brothers. One is locked up and the other... disappeared. Went underground or something. He had a record as well though. Let’s see... his father... his father is dead.”, she said, clicking on his file. “He’s got quite the rap sheet. Looks like we know how-“, she stopped.

“What?”, he asked.

“His father was killed during a shootout with the feds.”, she said.

“And?”, he asked.

“The BAU was working that case... It was _a_ _while ago._ ”, she said, showing him the computer.

“Okay. How long ago, because I don’t remember working that case and they’d want to go after the specific person that did it so it-“, he stopped.

“No... no, no, no, no, no.”, she panicked, trying to stand up.

“Uh uh. You need to stay sitting down. The stress you’re feeling is not good for the baby obviously. You need to take it easy.”, he said, bringing her back down.

“Dave, Aaron was the head of that investigation. It says he was the one who shot and killed this unsub’s father. We need to stop him from going there.”, she said.

“Alright, let me call them.”, he said.

“No! We need to get SWAT over there _now!_ They’re going to kill him!”, she said.

“I’ll make a call right now. Just hold on.”, he said, taking his phone out and ran out to everyone else in the station. 

Emily watched him talk to the chief and gather everyone up to go out. Once he walked back into the conference room where Emily was, she had taken her phone out already.

“I’m sorry but I’m not waiting for you.”, she said.

“I’ve got everyone out there on their way okay?”, he said.

“Aaron.”, she said when he answered the phone.

“Emily, we’re almost there. Can I call you on our way back?”, he said.

“No, you need to turn around.”, she said.

“ _What?_ We can’t _turn around._ ”, he said.

“Aaron, listen to me. At least stop. We have SWAT and the rest of the police heading there now. Please just don’t go there yet.”, she said.

“Why did you call everyone out here? We’ve got it, alright?”, he said.

“He’s not working alone and he’s planning something else when you get there. I don’t know what exactly but it’s basically a trap.”, she said.

“Emily-“, he started.

“Aaron, please listen to me. I think you’re his main target and-“, she said.

“I’ve never even met him before. I have no connection to him.”, he said.

“But you killed his father! Now please! Just freaking listen to me so I don’t- ah!”, she hissed in pain from the Braxton Hicks coming back when she stood up.

“Emily, are you okay?!”, he asked, sounding extremely concerned all of a sudden. She almost considered lying just so he would turn around but knew she couldn’t.

“I’m fine, it’s just Braxton Hicks again. But please just come back.”, she said.

“Sit down and have some water.”, he said.

“I am. Dave is making sure of that. But Aaron, I’m serious.”, she said.

“You’re saying I killed our unsub’s father?”, he said.

“Yes, and now he wants to take out anyone involved including you.”, she said.

“Well, we’re just about there so we can-“, he started but got cut off when Emily heard a series of gunshots and all of a sudden cars crashing.

“Aaron?! Aaron!”, she almost screamed, knowing he obviously dropped the phone based on how it sounded, she freaked out even more. “Aaron!”, she said again, hearing the crashes and gunshots keep going until another crash came and the phone got cut off. “Aaron, talk to me! Aaron?!”

“What happened?”, Rossi asked.

“I think my fiancé might be dead.”, she said, completely pale in the face.

“No. No, he’s not. What happened?”, he asked.

“I just heard a lot of crashing and gunshots and then the phone died...”, she gulped, not even having set her phone down.

“It’s okay...”, he said, not sounding too confident. He lowered her hand slowly and eyed her carefully, placing her phone on the table.

“No. I need to- I need to go.”, she said, completely numb.

“No. You need to stay here. Help will be there any minute. I called for some medics already when I sent everyone out.”, he said.

“I can’t-“, she tried breathing but started hyperventilating. “I can’t- I- I need to go to him. I need him here. Now. I need to see him. Okay? Take me to him. Okay? Drive me there now.”, she said.

“I can’t do that. They’re going to bring him back here. He’s going to drive back here because he’s okay. Just _breathe_ .”, he said, holding her hand until that didn’t help so he took both and held them tight in her lap. “ _Breathe... In..._ ”, he inhaled deep. “... _and out_...”, he exhaled as she copied him but she gave up after a few tries and felt tears building up. 

“Someone get him on the phone now.”, she said.

“Just calm down and- he’s probably-“, he started.

“Get him on the phone now!”, she yelled.

“You _need_ to calm down. I’m sure he’s fine.”, he said, rubbing her hands.

“Oh my god.”, she said, burying her face in her hands when she pulled them away from his.

“Hey, you can’t cry because there’s nothing to cry about yet.”, he said.

“I’m pregnant and hormonal and my fiancé may be dead! I’ll cry if I want!”, she sobbed.

“Okay, fair enough...”, he said, rubbing her back, trying to comfort her. “What can I do?”

“Find out where he is and what happened. _Now!_ ”, she yelled.

“Okay. Okay.”, he said, getting on his phone. 

After what felt like the longest half hour of her life, Derek finally called her.

“Where is he?!”, she yelled.

“We’re at the hospital right now. It’s not-”, he said.

“What happened?! Does he need surgery-“, she said.

“Hotch is fine. He’s just getting checked out but he’s completely fine. It’s just-“, he said.

“I’m on my way!”, she said, hanging up.

“He’s okay.”, she sighed.

“Oh good. Thank god.”, Rossi said.

“Now I need you to drive me here and if you don’t, I’ll get someone else to.”, she said.

“Alright but bring that water with you and that bag of chips I got.”, he said.

“Fine.”, she said, getting up slowly and following him out to the car.

They drove to the hospital and when they finally got there, they walked in and went to the floor Derek said they were on. When she saw Hotch sitting down, she almost ran up to him but didn’t feel physically capable of it in the moment. He stood up and walked over to her fast and wrapped his arms around her.

“Oh my god, Aaron, don’t ever do that again.”, she cried into his chest.

“I’m _so_ sorry, sweetie. My phone got crushed in the car but I’m fine.”, he said.

“I was so scared.”, she sobbed.

“I know, I know.”, he rubbed her back and kissed her head.

“I thought you were dead!”, she cried some more.

“No, I’m very much alive and I’m standing here with you, hun.”, he said.

“Yeah.”, she sniffled and nodded. When she finally pulled back, she grabbed his face and kissed him deep. 

“Hey.”, he softly smiled. She stroked his face with her thumbs and kissed him deep again before repeatedly giving him kisses quickly. “Em.”, he said, stopping her by giving her one last kiss.

“I thought I was never going to kiss those lips again.”, she said, running her hand over his head to the back of it.

“I’m fine, babe.”, he said.

“I know. I can see. I’m just still freaking out.”, she said.

“How’s the baby? Still having-“, he asked.

“No. She’s fine. She’s completely fine.”, she nodded.

“Good.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she said, sighing. “What are we still doing here?”

“Why don’t you sit down?”, he asked, taking her hand.

“Aaron, what’s going on?”, she asked once she noticed Derek and Spencer upset and the fact that they were in a waiting room with one person missing.

“Honey... sit.”, he said, taking a seat with her.

“ _Aaron, what’s going on?_ ”, she asked again, more concerned.

“I wasn’t hit but... JJ _was_.”, he said.

“What? What are you- what are you talking about? What are you saying?”, she asked.

“JJ was shot.”, he said.

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**i typically don't write much in detail about cases but let me know what you guys think. please leave reviews. thank you! :)**   
  
  
  
  
  



	95. Baby Shower

**Chapter 95**

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Four weeks later, JJ had recovered from being shot and started back at work on Wednesday so she could do a short week. By Friday, Hotch had already started interviewing people that week to take Derek’s spot for after he takes on the role of Unit Chief once Hotch leaves. 

Toward the end of the day, he was in his office with the tenth, also being the _last,_ applicant he’d met with that day. While he was busy with that, Emily came back to her desk from the bathroom and sighed as she sat down in her chair. All of a sudden, Derek rolled over fast in _his_ with a bag of peanut m&m’s and set them on her desk next to her.

“Here ya go, princess.”, he said.

“My _favorite!_ I was going to go grab some but I didn’t want to walk to get them, I just wanted to get back to my seat. _Thank you_.”, she said opening them and eating them immediately.

“You’re welcome. I’ll grab you ten more if you want. Soon enough, I’ll be making more money and I can buy you whatever you want. Actually, I take that back. I wanna save up some of that money. Gotta get some new suits soon because you’re looking at the new _Unit Chief, baby!_ Ha!”, he laughed, spinning around in his chair and drumming his hands on her desk a couple times.

“Yeah, I’m aware.”, she chuckled. “This baby may be the best thing that’s happened for all three of us. I think Aaron and I might be happy for a different reason than you but thanks. Good to know you’re excited for us.”, she said.

“Oh my god, no. I’m so excited for you guys! Trust me. Uncle Derek will be there anytime you need.”, he said.

“I know I’m just giving you crap.”, she laughed. “Hey, um... who is that in there? Did you get a good look at her before she went in his office? I was in the bathroom.”

“Oh yeah.”, he laughed. “She is _hot_.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have a girlfriend. And might I add, she is _very_ hot too.”, she said.

“I know! Kayla and I are very happy. Along with little Sophia.”, he smiled.

“Things have seemed to be getting kinda serious.”, she said.

“I know. She’s really amazing. And I honestly never saw myself dating someone with a kid but I love spending time with _both_ of them and... I think I could really see this going somewhere.”, he said.

“Seriously?!”, she said.

“Yeah.”, he chuckled.

“I’m such a great matchmaker.”, she bragged, pursing her lips, closing her eyes and raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I should say thank you for giving me her number.”, he said.

“Do I get to speak at the wedding?”, she said.

“Skipping a whole lot of steps there, Prentiss.”, he chuckled.

“Hey, Aaron and I skipped a lot of steps. We also just moved really fast in our relationship too. But hey, sometimes... you just know they’re the one. When you know, you know.”, she said.

“Well, I don’t wanna say she is or isn’t because I don’t know yet but I haven’t felt this way about someone before so...”, he blushed.

“You’re blushing!”, she said.

“Shut up.”, he said.

“Alright. Fine.”, she held back a smile.

“But can I ask you something?”, he said.

“Sure.”, she said.

“Well, a couple somethings actually. I don’t know exactly how to ask them all as one or it depends on-“, he said.

“Derek, what do you want to know?”, she said.

“I almost feel weird asking you for relationship advice because I’ve been with lots of girls, I’m good with that but I haven’t been in too many _real relationships._ ”, he said.

“ _Alright_.”, she said.

“This sounds so cheesy but... how did you know Hotch was the one?”, he asked.

“Oh god... I think I always knew. Well, ever since we kissed the first time. It was different than anything I’ve ever experienced with anyone. But I wasn’t really conscious of it or didn’t really think he was the one but I had that same feeling then that I do now, four years later. That never went away. We didn’t get into a relationship until like... a year or so after our first kiss. He was married. I honestly didn’t think I would ever get to be with him but I knew I felt so strongly about him already and that it was something... very special.”, she smiled and changed her face to a serious one. “Don’t you dare tell him I said this because he’d never let me forget it because of how cheesy it sounds but... after the first time we slept together... I knew I probably could but... I didn’t _want_ to live without him. I think I’ve mentioned but that night we said we love each other for the first time and I knew he was the one. I just thought I’d never get to be with him so that’s what hurt. But I think that night I was aware that he was the love of my life. And I can’t quite explain it but you just know at a certain point. Not always right away so don’t freak if you don’t know right now. Just give it time. It’s been a few months for you guys. Things come at different steps. The next realization I had with my feelings about him was...”, she started but looked down.

“Are you alright?”, he asked.

“Other than JJ, you’re probably my best friend... I’ve put our relationship behind us when we talk about certain things. I don’t see you as an ex. I see you as my friend and my partner.”, she said.

“Me too. One hundred percent...”, he said, trying to figure out where she was going.

“There’s something I haven’t told really anyone about except JJ and Sean.”, she said.

“Okay, what happened?”, he asked with a sympathetic look on his face. “You can tell me anything, Emily. I’m here for you.”

She smiled and nodded, feeling proud no tears were coming on when she was about to tell him something that was always so painful to talk about.

“Um... early on in the relationship... _me and Aaron_... less than a year in even... we went through something really difficult. It started a bit before this but really blew up when we were in New York for that one case where his friend, Kate died. Well, when we were there, I found out something just...”, she sighed.

“It’s okay...”, he said.

“I... got pregnant... and I wasn’t ready to- I wasn’t ready. He wanted to keep it... so badly. And so did I because the idea of it seemed really great but in reality, I knew I wasn’t ready so... it didn’t happen. I um... I had an abortion and uh...”, she took took a shaky deep breath. “That tears a lot of people apart. And I did a couple stupid things, being upset and confused because of it and all but he forgave me for those mistakes I made and he’s so amazing and he cares so deeply that he put aside his own feelings to be there for me. But we still communicated everything with each other and that’s what got us through it. Unconditional love and support and communication. And if you can make that work... you can make just about anything work. And because we were able to do that with each other, even though it can be hard at times... I realized that we really are perfect for each other. And he told me then that he was willing to quit his job to be a stay at home dad. Knowing him, the type of person he is and how work is everything for him... I was so touched by him willing to give all that up for the thing that really matters most to him. Family. Seeing what his true values were... made me love him even more. The night we made the decision for what to do about it, we cried in each other’s arms- yes, he really did cry, don’t tell him I ever said that either. But we cried in each other’s arms and that’s when I told him I wanted it all with him. That I _did_ want a family with him and I never knew if I wanted kids until that moment. I said that I always thought I would know if I wanted kids or not when I met the right guy. And suddenly, I knew. When that happened, it made me realize that’s what I wanted. And I wanted it with _him_. I wish it didn’t happen like that but it did and... now we’re having a baby.”, she smiled, rubbing her stomach.

“Emily... I had _no idea._ ”, he said.

“Also, I treated him like shit when we were in New York and even before that for a little. I knew later on that it was because of the hormones but... I was _awful_ to him. I mean truly just... _horrible_. But even with that, he still stuck by my side. Even though he had no idea why I was being such a bitch to him, he didn’t give up and was there for me. And when I told him, we were at the field office there in New York and I had just yelled at Kate... he was there for me even though I had just fucked up big time professionally. He set that aside and held me, making sure I was okay. And when he was in the E.R. after he practically got blown up and he was all messed up, he still sat down with me and talked about our situation, comforting me and told me he wanted to have that baby. He told me we could do it and he’d love to have another kid. He was able to do that even after what had just happened to him. His priorities... seeing what those were... I knew I needed him forever.”, she said.

“I’m _so sorry._ I wish I could’ve been there for you. I’m always here though. You ever need me, I’m here.”, he said, taking her hand and holding it tight.

“It’s okay. And thanks.”, she softly smiled. “I had him and JJ at least. And when your significant other is enough, that’s how you know it’s worth it. That’s how you know _they’re_ worth it.”, she nodded. “I hope that long story helped answer your question.”, she laughed.

“Actually, it really did. Thank you.”, he smiled.

“Okay, good.”, she sighed. “Oh no... I know that worried look...”

“There’s no look.”, he said.

“Are you worried that you’re not good enough for her or that you aren’t worth it?”, she asked.

“How do you do that?”, he asked.

“I’m a profiler and also I know you really well. Derek, listen. I’ve seen you with her... you’re a good boyfriend. You were a good boyfriend to me. Even though... we may not have been right for each other...”, she laughed, “... you were still a good boyfriend and I know how much you care about Kayla and how good you are to her. Trust me. You guys deserve each other.”

“Yeah.”, he nodded. “You’re right. I don’t know why I’m freaking out. I’m just getting a little lost in my head. This all feels so new, you know?”

“I really do.”, she said and looked over at Hotch’s office that had the blinds closed. “So just how hot is she?”

“Are you jealous? Are you nervous?”, he gasped.

“No! Of course not. I know he loves me. Besides, _he’s_ the jealous one in this relationship. He always has been since the very beginning. Before we were even together, he would get jealous so easily.”, she said.

“Like how he was jealous of _me?_ ”, he laughed.

“Okay, to be fair...”, she said, holding up a finger. “He had a right to be that time. Because he _was_ right.”

“Fair enough.”, he said.

“You didn’t answer my question though.”, she said.

“Ahh...”, he said, thinking. “I don’t try and rate women based on just their looks really but if I had to say on a scale of one to ten... maybe an eight?”

“Wonderful.”, she said, sarcastically.

“Chill out, girl.”, he chuckled.

“Just for that comment, you can go get me another bag of peanut m&m’s.”, she glared at him.

“Only a few more weeks of this.”, he said, reminding himself as he got up.

“Thank you! I love you! You’re the best!”, she giggled.

“Yeah, yeah.”, he waved her off.

In Hotch’s office, he was still interviewing the last person of the day, coming to an end.

“I’ve gotta say, Agent Wilson... I’ve been interviewing people all day and some more throughout the week and... you’re the most impressive one so far.”, Hotch said to her.

“Are you sure it’s not just the accent? I’ve noticed over the years that people tend to find it being something that makes me seem more sophisticated. It’s the Southern English ones like mine that people lean towards when they come to that conclusion.”, she laughed.

“Well, back at Interpol, a lot of people had English accents I’m sure and they speak very highly of you. I don’t think the accent has anything to do with it but no one _here_ has one.”, he chuckled.

“That’s true. Most people in London do, I guess. But regardless, thank you.”, she said.

“What made you want to come all the way back out here? You moved from London to the U.S. to go to school at Yale and then you moved back to London and now back here?”, he said.

“I guess I got a bit homesick after a while. I graduated and I had an opportunity to go to Interpol and do what I’d studied. But after a while, I just felt like a change of pace. I wanted to do something a little different but still in the same field. I moved back out here and I looked around and decided this would be a great opportunity here. And actually, one of my oldest friends works here and I know how much she loves it.”, she said.

“Oh, really? Here at the BAU?”, he asked.

“Yeah, we were roommates back in college and basically sisters, we were so close. We made sure to keep in touch and we still do. She actually worked at Interpol for a few years overlapping with me so we stuck in each other’s lives consistently for a while.”, she said.

“She went to Yale and worked at Interpol with you as well?”, he asked.

“Yeah. She was one of the best students in our criminology class and most impressive person I knew at Interpol.”, she said.

“What’s her name? I know pretty much everyone that works here.”, he said, almost positive he knew who she was talking about.

“Emily Prentiss.”, she said.

“ _You were college roommates with Emily?_ ”, he said, shocked even though that’s what he thought she’d say.

“You know her?”, she said.

“I do, yeah.”, he nodded, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Are you two close?”, she asked.

“You could definitely say that.”, he chuckled. “She’s uh... she’s actually my fiancé.”

“You’re _joking!_ ”, she said.

“I’m really not.”, he said.

“Oh my- oh! _You’re_ Aaron. You guys are having a baby and getting married and just bought a new house. Oh, this is so amazing! _Congratulations_.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he chuckled.

“I’m a bit confused as to why she talks about you so much but failed to mention that you’re the Unit Chief.”, she said.

“She didn’t?”, he asked.

“No. She said that you worked together but nothing about you being her boss. That’s probably why. She can be a pretty private person as you probably know.”, she said.

“I just found out not long ago that she was a spy. She kept that from me for over three years. I guess you could say _two_ because at that point we’d _been together_ for two years. But in each other’s lives for three. Actually, that’s not true. I met her before she went to college.”, he said.

“You worked for her mother. I remember.”, she said.

“You remember? I don’t think we ever met.”, he said.

“She told me about you. Back when we were roommates.”, she said.

“She talked about me?”, he asked.

“She had a massive crush on you.”, she laughed.

“ _Really?_ ”, he grinned.

“ _Oh yeah._ That’s why when she told me you guys were getting married and having a baby, it was a little hard to believe. That after all these years, you came back to each other. And also that it was the older man who she had a crush on way back when.”, she laughed.

“I mean, she’s told me that she checked me out and found me attractive but massive crush... she hasn’t fessed up to that.”, he chuckled.

“I wouldn’t be telling you if you guys weren’t engaged, don’t worry. I swear I’m not a gossip.”, she said, making them both laugh.

“I believe you.”, he chuckled.

“Is she in today? I didn’t see her when we walked into your office.”, she said.

“She _is_. She might’ve been in the restroom or in one of our other team members offices when we walked up.”, he said.

“I would love to say _hello_. I wasn’t sure what unit or floor she works on or if she would be in today so I just assumed I’d surprise her later. But if she’s here...”, she said.

“Well, I don’t think I have any other questions for you. And I think it’s safe to say I can go ahead and let people know next week, the spot’s been filled. As long as that sounds good to you.”, he said, standing up and buttoning his suit.

“Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much, sir.”, she said, standing up as well and walking to the door.

“Everyone here calls me _Hotch_.”, he said, opening the door and walking out.

“Thank you, _Hotch_.”, she smiled.

Back at Emily’s desk, Derek had brought her another bag of the m&m’s along with a deck of cards. He sat next to her and tried to take a few of her candies but she kept swatting his hand away. 

“I can’t even have _one?_ I got them for you.”, he said.

“God, you and Aaron are so greedy, I swear. Whenever he makes me a milkshake, he always wants a sip. And he thinks he can have one just because he made it.”, she said.

“I think _you’re_ the greedy one. Did you _hear yourself just now?!_ ”, he said.

“Don’t make me play the pregnant card.”, she said.

“Speaking of cards, you gotta draw one. It’s your turn.”, he said.

Right as she was about to, she saw Hotch walking out of his office. “Okay, she’s gotta be right behind him.”, she said, peering over her desk.

“Put the cards away.”, he whispered before Hotch could get to them and see they weren’t doing work. They were scrambling to get the cards put away and pull out work but Hotch _did_ end up getting to them first.

“ _Emily_.”, Hotch said, making Emily sigh, thinking she was in trouble. She turned around in her chair and her jaw immediately dropped. As Hotch could see she was going to have a bit of trouble standing up fast, he gave her a hand. She saw her friend coming down the stairs and walking over to them.

“ _Amelia?!_ ”, Emily almost shouted.

“Emily!”, her friend said, finally approaching her and reaching out for a hug.

“What are you doing here?!”, Emily asked. Derek cleared his throat and Emily looked back at him standing up. “Oh, sorry. Um, Amelia, this is my partner and one of my _best friends_...”, she smiled at him, “... Derek. Derek, this is one of my oldest friends, Amelia. We were college roommates and worked at Interpol with each other for a few years.”

“Whoa. _Way_ back. Nice to meet you.”, Derek said, shaking Amelia’s hand.

“You too.”, Amelia smiled.

“Are you _from_ London?”, Derek asked, noticing her accent.

“I _am_. How did you know?”, Amelia joked.

“Okay, what are you doing here?!”, Emily said, squeezing her hands.

“I... was coming in for an interview and...”, Amelia said.

“Looks like she’s the last person to interview.”, Hotch said.

“You got it?!”, Emily asked.

“Looks like I _did!_ ”, Amelia said.

“Oh my god!”, Emily said and turned to Hotch. She put her hand on his face and gave him a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Well, I already made the decision before I found out you guys knew each other so I didn’t do it for you but you’re welcome.”, Hotch chuckled.

“So you’re taking _my_ job?”, Derek said.

“Oh um...”, Amelia said.

“No, no. Don’t worry, I’m not being fired or anything. You’re not stealing it.”, Derek chuckled. “I’m taking Hotch’s place.”

“Oh?”, Amelia said, looking at Hotch.

“I’m retiring early.”, Hotch said.

“ _Very_ early. You’re still so young!”, Amelia said, shocked. 

“I like her.”, Hotch said to Emily and laughed.

“Well, it’s true. You’re not old.”, Emily said.

“Wait, how come you’re retiring so young?”, Amelia asked.

“Well, first of all... thank you. But I’m not that young.”, Hotch chuckled. “And I decided to be a stay at home dad.”

“A _stay at home dad... Em._.. you really scored with this one.”, Amelia said.

“I know.”, Emily giggled, leaning into Hotch who wrapped his arm around her.

“Also, when I say this, I mean it in the best way possible... you’re so big! Look at you!”, Amelia said, placing her hands on Emily’s bump.

“I _know_. I just want her to come out already so I don’t have to be pregnant anymore. It’s exhausting. And I just want to hold my baby in my arms now.”, Emily said.

“She still needs a few more weeks.”, Hotch said.

“I _know_.”, Emily sighed.

“How come when _she_ says it, it’s fine but when _me or Reid_ say it, you yell at us and hit us?”, Derek asked.

“It’s just different.”, Emily said.

“She yells at me _sometimes_ when I say it.”, Hotch said.

“ _Anyways_...”, Emily growled. “Where are you staying?”

“At a hotel but I’ve been looking at places before I left London so I have a bit of a head start on house hunting or apartment hunting.”, Amelia said.

“You _cannot_ stay in a hotel until you find a place. That’s too long. Stay with us. We have two guest rooms in the house.”, Emily said.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly-“, Amelia started.

“Yes, you can!”, Emily said.

“You haven’t even discussed it with-“, Amelia started.

“It’s fine. Really. Staying in a hotel for that long when we have two available rooms... that’s ridiculous. You can stay with us as long as you need. I know you and I only met today, but I won’t be your boss for very long and you’re Emily’s best friend. Please.”, Hotch said.

“Are you _positive?_ ”, Amelia asked.

“Absolutely.”, Emily and Hotch said at the same time.

“Okay. Alright. But at least let me help out with some cooking and cleaning and everything.”, Amelia said.

“That’s really not necessary.”, Hotch said.

“Aaron. She wasn’t really asking. Oh! You guys are going to love each other. Aaron, she _enjoys_ cleaning. Our dorm room used to always be spotless. And super organized. Even though I’m a slob. Not as much anymore but I still don’t make my side of the bed.”, Emily said.

“You _like_ cleaning?”, Hotch asked.

“I’m kind of a neat freak. I actually have a checklist of everything to do around the house like sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, wiping down counters and tables and dusting things. And on that list everything is in order and it’s extremely detailed and it used to drive Emily crazy because, like she just said, was kind of a slob.”, Amelia said.

“You have a _checklist?_ ”, Hotch smiled.

“I know it may seem weird but-“, Amelia started.

“ _I_ have a checklist for every Sunday. We do a- _I_ do a deep clean every Sunday in the house. Well, I try to. It was easier in the apartment but the house is so much bigger and now we have a backyard and Jack loves to get dirty and run inside with his shoes on, tracking dirt all around.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Jack... that’s your son, right?”, Amelia asked.

“Yeah, he’s five. His mom lives in New York so he’s with us.”, Hotch said.

“He’s the sweetest thing ever. Although he _has_ been misbehaving a little lately. A little mischievous but he’s a good kid. He’s the best. You’ll love him.”, Emily said.

“Also, my brother lives with us. He has his own studio in the backyard so he has space but we can spend time together as a family. Especially when the baby comes, we’re gonna need extra hands so it’s good having him around.”, Hotch said.

“That’s Sean, right?”, Amelia asked.

“So you tell her everything, including my brother’s name but didn’t tell her that your fiancé is your boss?”, Hotch asked.

“Um... I... we’ll talk about it later, okay?”, Emily said.

“Alright.”, Hotch nodded, suddenly curious why it had to be later or so private. “It looks like it’s late enough to head out. What do you say we give you a ride to the hotel and grab your stuff and you just head home with us?”

“Are you sure that’s not too much trouble?”, Amelia asked.

“Of course not. Jack’s aunt is with him right now at the house. I think Sean is working late tonight. He’s a bartender so he comes home at weird hours some nights.”, Hotch said.

“Alright. That sounds great! Oh, I’m so excited! Emily, we have so much catching up to do in person. Not just over the phone.”, Amelia said, raising an eyebrow.

“Aaron, you can watch a movie or something downstairs with Jack tonight while Amelia and I catch up, right?”, Emily said.

“Sure. He’s really been wanting to watch Shrek so... that works.”, Hotch chuckled. “Wanna order in some food when we get home? We could also pick something up. Or I could drop you guys off and go back out to grab something.”

“Let’s just get home first and we’ll figure it out then.”, Emily said.

“Sounds good.”, Hotch said.

“Oh. I already know what _you_ want.” Emily said, looking at Amelia, both of them smirking.

“ _Burritos_.”, they said at the same time and laughed.

“Am I missing something?”, Hotch asked.

“We’ll tell you the story later tonight.”, Emily said.

“Alright then.”, Hotch said, gathering Emily’s things while Derek helped.

“I can pack up my own stuff.”, Emily said.

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.”, Hotch said, putting her bag around his shoulder and going up to his office to pack up his own things. When Hotch came back out, Derek was giving her a hug and heading out himself after everyone else.

“Hey, where’s JJ? I just checked her office and she’s not there.”, Emily said.

“She went home early.”, Hotch said.

“What? Why?”, Emily asked.

“I don’t think she was feeling a hundred percent... physically _or_ emotionally...”, Hotch said.

“She’s been back for a few days already. I thought she was doing alright.”, Emily said.

“Sometimes we just have bad days. It’s still pretty fresh for her.”, Hotch said.

“Did something happen?”, Amelia asked.

“JJ is our communications liaison. But she also goes out into the field with us. She’s actually training to be a profiler and is taking my place when I go on maternity leave. But she’s gonna stay on as a profiler even after I come back. Garcia, our tech analyst wants some more responsibilities, so she’ll be helping out with the work JJ does now. But... a few weeks ago, we were in Spokane on a case and JJ was shot and it was pretty bad because it wasn’t looking great but she pulled through and she’s really good now. Or at least healed physically I think. But it was really traumatic. It was a big car crash and shots being fired at the same time and she was hit and... I wasn’t there. I can’t tell the full story because I wasn’t there but I heard it over the phone. But she came back to work a few days ago. I guess she’s been having a hard time adjusting but it’s weird she didn’t call me or text me or come find me before she left...”, Emily said.

“I say call her tomorrow. Give her some space tonight. Will is there. She’ll be okay.”, Hotch said, putting his arm around Emily and walked out to the car with her and Amelia.

After they got home, Emily gave Amelia a tour of the house, and Hotch picked up food. Once they were done eating, Amelia and Hotch cleaned up while Emily sat on the couch with Jack until they came out of the kitchen.

“Alright, movie time, buddy.”, Hotch said, picking out Shrek and putting it in the DVD player. 

While Amelia went to go change into pajamas in the guest room she was staying in just off the kitchen, Emily went upstairs to do the same. She came back down and Hotch stood up, walking over to her.

“Hey.”, she smiled, giving him a kiss.

“You’re a good friend, you know that?”, he said.

“I didn’t want her staying in a hotel for that long and I haven’t seen her in person for a while and-“, she said.

“Honey, it’s okay. I’m not mad. It’s kind of nice to have a guest for the first time in the new house and she’s a good friend of yours. I wouldn’t want her to have to stay in a hotel for that long either.”, he said.

“What did I do to deserve you?”, she said.

“I don’t know.”, he chuckled, giving her a kiss.

“I’m so excited that we’re gonna be working together again.”, she said.

“I bet.”, he said, watching Amelia walk out to them. “Alright, you guys have fun catching up. We’ll be down here.”

“Alright. I love you.”, she said, giving him a kiss.

“I love you too.”, he said.

“You ready?”, Amelia asked, grinning ear to ear.

“Yes. I have so much to tell you.”, Emily smiled as they went upstairs.

Later that night, Amelia went down to her room and they tucked Jack in bed. Emily got in bed while Hotch finished brushing teeth. When he joined her, he laid down on his side facing her, and scooted in closer.

“How was catching up?”, he asked.

“So refreshing.”, she said.

“Good.”, he smiled, taking her hand. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure...”, she said.

“Why didn’t you tell her I was your boss?”, he asked and she sighed. “Em, come on. Are you ashamed or embarrassed by me or how we got started?”

“What? No, of course not. I brag about you.”, she giggled. “Amelia is one of my best friends. She’s always so supportive and everything but... remember how I opened up with you about all that stuff with Brayden a few months ago?”

“Yeah...”, he said.

“Well, I said that I hadn’t told anyone about any of it which is kind of true. Because most of the stuff I told you, I hadn’t told anyone before. But Amelia knew _some_ of it. Not the details you and I talked about. But the basics and other not as intimate details. She knew I was in a relationship with him and she knew it became serious. She knew about the ring he had and she knew how hard it was when I broke up with him. Although she was my number one best friend, my person, practically my sister... I didn’t want to share everything about Brayden because that was the one thing she was judgmental about. She called it tough love but she just gave me so much shit for getting involved with a professor, an _authority_ _figure_. And I didn’t care what anyone would think if they knew. Because I was in love. But hearing my best friend judge me for making a decision to be with someone I loved... it hurt. And I didn’t want to feel guilty about it. And I thought I would prove her wrong when I thought we were gonna last. But then we didn’t. And so this time, I didn’t want her to know you were another authority figure in my life. An older man. I know Brayden was _a lot_ older than you but still. I wanted her to hear about you as my _boyfriend_ and then _fiancé_ and _not_ as my boss. Because as soon as she would hear that, I knew that’s what she would be stuck seeing. And I guess it’s not just that she judged me but she wanted to protect me but you know I have problems with that and if she knew about you earlier and knew you were my boss... I wouldn’t stop hearing about how I need to break up with you and... just so much other stuff. But she really _is_ a great friend because as much as she disagreed with me and Brayden’s relationship, she was still there for me when I was crying in bed every night for a week and got me ice cream and made sure to sit with me during his lectures for emotional support. She never said, _“I told you so.”_ or did anything hateful. She was just there for me. But I couldn’t have any judgment or protection when it came to you. Because I was young and naive back then. I was so sure it was what I wanted and I don’t regret being with him but... this time, with _you_... I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I know that you are what’s best for me. I know you are the love of my life. And I know that I’m supposed to be with you and this isn’t a mistake. I guess I just wanted her to see that. But I needed to show her when it was obvious. Obvious to her that this is real and good even though for _me_ it’s _always_ been real and good. It’s _always_ been obvious to me that we are not a mistake and you are not a bad decision. You’re the _best_ decision I’ve ever made. I know you’re going to argue with me on this and say it’s not the _only_ thing but... _I_ know that you’re the only good I’ve ever done.”, she said.

“Sweetie...”, he frowned and placed his hand on her stomach.

“Aaron, I love you. And I’m sorry if you thought I was ashamed of you or embarrassed. That is not the case. I guess _I_ wanted to protect what we had.”, she said.

“Have you told _her_ that?”, he asked.

“No, but I’m exhausted and- ugh. How much do you love me?”, she asked.

“More than anything. Why?”, he asked.

“I think Jack took my body pillow again. He loves it. It’s adorable but I can’t get comfortable using these regular pillows between my legs and up against my stomach and side.”, she said.

“I’ll go check and see if it’s in his room.”, he chuckled, getting up.

“Thank you, I love you.”, she whispered after him as he walked out, coming back in their room less than a minute later, carrying her body pillow.

“You were right.”, he said, climbing in bed and helping her adjust the pillow until it was perfectly comfortable.

“Thanks, babe.”, she smiled and brought him in for a kiss.

“Anything for you.”, he smiled softly, staring in her eyes. “And... just so you know... other than Jack, you’re also the best decision I’ve ever made and the only good I’ve ever done. You and Jack are. And Ali, of course.”, he said, rubbing her stomach.

“Mmmm.”, she smiled and closed her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hun. Now get some rest.”, he said, kissing her forehead.

The next morning, Emily woke up around 11:00am, surprised she slept in that late. She could hear people down in kitchen cooking so she reached over for her phone on her night table, struggling at first but finally got it. She called Hotch and he picked up right away.

“Let me guess... you want help out of bed?”, he asked.

“It’s not that I _can’t_ do it. It’s just that it’s hard especially when I’m tired. And I don’t want to.”, she mumbled.

“Alright. I’m on my way up.”, he chuckled, ending the call. As soon as he walked upstairs, into their room, she started sniffing. 

“Blueberry scones?”, she asked before her eyes shot open and saw Hotch holding a plate of blueberry scones.

“Amelia made them with Sean. So come on and have some late breakfast.”, he said, holding the plate out and walking backwards.

“Aaron, those definitely woke me up more but they can’t physically help me out of bed.”, she said.

“Sorry, hun.”, he said, setting the plate down and helping her out of bed. She leaned into him and hugged his sides. “Aw, good morning sweetie.”, he kissed her head.

“Good morning.”, she said, snuggling into him more as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Alright, how do those scones sound now?”, he said.

“Why are you rushing me?”, she asked.

“I’m not. I’m sorry. There’s no rush.”, he said.

“Mmm.”, she hummed. “Ah. _Okay, okay_.”

“What?”, he said.

“ _You_ may not be rushing me but _Ali_ is.”, she laughed, pulling back from him. He put his hand on her stomach right after she stopped kicking, making him frown for a brief moment that he missed it.

“Yeah, alright. Come on.”, he chuckled, grabbing the plate and walking downstairs with her. 

Right as they were about to walk into the kitchen, she turned around and went in the bathroom, annoyed at how often she had to go because of the baby. She came out and sat down at the table, letting out a heavy sigh. 

“Good morning.”, Amelia said, walking over and sitting down next to her. 

“Hey, how’d you sleep?”, Emily asked.

“Wonderfully. Thank you so much again for letting me stay here. I promise it won’t be for too much longer. In fact, I’m going to look at some apartments today. Would you care to join me?”, Amelia asked.

“Yeah, I’d love to!”, Emily said.

“Great. I was going to head out soon so eat some scones and Sean made some fruit and yogurt parfait.”, Amelia said.

“And here it is.”, Sean said, bringing a cup of it over.

“Oh wow. You guys are just catering to my every need. I only expected _Aaron_ to do that.”, Emily laughed.

“I still _do_.”, Hotch said from the kitchen, walking out into the backyard.

“Where’s Jack?”, Emily asked.

“In my studio.”, Sean said.

“Why?”, Emily asked, taking a bite of a scone. “Oh my god.”, she rolled her eyes back in her head. “ _Amelia_ ... do you _ever_ fail at making these?”

“No. I really don’t.”, Amelia laughed.

“They were really good. I might’ve already had three.”, Sean laughed.

“Mmmm. They’re _so freaking delicious_.”, Emily said, covering her mouth. “Since her family was back in London, for holidays, she would always come with me to my parents and we’d spend it together. Now, it’s hard for me to impress my mother with anything but Amelia’s scones always did the trick. I swear she loves you more than me.”

“Oh, come on. You know that’s not true.”, Amelia said.

“No, really. I told you last night, she hasn’t spoken to me since Christmas when I told her I was pregnant. Aaron talked to her after, before we left, and he’s very optimistic about her reaching out after the baby’s born but... who knows. It’s Elizabeth we’re talking about.”, Emily said.

“Well, regardless of if she does or not, we’re all here.”, Sean said.

“I appreciate it.”, Emily smiled. 

“Of course.”, Sean said.

Once Emily finished up her breakfast, she went upstairs to get ready. After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she got dressed. Wanting to wear something casual but comfortable, she almost went for her sweats but decided not to go out like that all the time. She wanted to wear something cute while she still had the energy to and opportunity to go out and show it off. 

She went in her closet and grabbed her navy blue and white striped casual t-shirt dress. It was short sleeved and the length was about mid thigh, almost down to her knees but not quite. She loved it because it let her show off her legs without having to try too hard or wear anything fancy. Not to mention, it was one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing she had that still fit. It was cotton material but it had some stretch to it, allowing her to fit it over her bump. 

When she had the dress on, she went into the bathroom to curl her hair and put on some mascara, a small amount of eyeshadow, and her white eyeliner. After finishing up, she stepped out and put on her gold bar necklace from Hotch. 

She sighed when she looked down at her white converse on the floor, wondering how she was going to put them on. Struggling to lower herself to the ground, she finally did it and grabbed the shoes, taking even longer to stand back up. Knowing she couldn’t put them on and tie them herself, she grabbed her phone and brought everything downstairs with her.

“I need someone to help me put my shoes on.”, Emily called out, walking downstairs and found Amelia still in her sweats. “Hey, why aren’t you dressed?”

“Well, I decided to actually go _tomorrow_ and this way... you and Hotch-“, Amelia started.

“Please just call him _Aaron_ outside of work. It just feels weird having you call him _Hotch_ here. He said it’s fine.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, Amelia laughed. “I was thinking that you and _Aaron_ could go out and have a lunch date or something. Go out and do something while you still can.”

“We know you get tired earlier now and don’t do late nights so we figured a little lunch date and outing might be nice.”, Sean said.

“Does he know about this? Because I don’t see him.”, Emily said.

“I’m right here.”, Hotch said, coming inside and walking over to her.

“What were you guys doing out there?”, Emily asked.

“Don’t worry about it. You ready to go?”, Hotch asked.

“I actually need help...”, Emily said, lowering her head. 

“You need me to put your shoes on?”, Hotch chuckled.

“Don’t make fun of me!”, Emily said.

“I’m not, I’m not. I’m sorry.”, he kept laughing and gave her a kiss, sitting her down in a chair. He knelt down and took her shoes, slipping them on and tying them for her.

“Thanks, sweetie.”, Emily said.

“You’re most certainly welcome.”, Hotch said, pulling her up to her feet and held her sides, kissing her forehead. “You look beautiful. This is such a cute outfit on you.”

“You think I look cute in anything.”, she said, holding onto his biceps.

“That’s because you _do_.”, he grinned, kissing her nose, making her roll her eyes and laugh.

“Where are we going?”, Emily asked.

“Wherever you want. I know our anniversary was a few months ago but... with the move and work and being overwhelmed and busy with the pregnancy at that point, we didn’t get to do anything. So, today, we do whatever you want.”, Hotch said.

“Um... I honestly don’t know. You choose.”, Emily said.

“Wha- _I’m sorry._ Can you repeat that? I’ve never heard those words come out of your mouth before. You _always_ have an opinion or preference for what we should do.”, Hotch laughed.

“Well, I guess you get to pick this time. It’s your lucky day.”, Emily said.

“Alright, we’ll talk about it in the car. Let’s head out.”, Hotch said, walking with her out the door. They walked down the stairs and got in the car.

“So. Do you wanna go to the Smithsonian?”, Hotch asked.

“I don’t really feel like walking around a whole lot.”, Emily said.

“Okay, um... what if we go to the Avalon theater to see a movie and we can make out in the back like we’re teenagers and go get some lunch after?”, he chuckled.

“I’m not really in the mood to see a movie but I don’t mind the making out part.”, she giggled.

“Oh yeah?”, he grinned, moving in closer to her.

“Mmhmm.”, she smiled and bit her lip right before both of theirs met and eventually pulled away for air. “I don’t know. I think just this is kinda fun on its own.”

“I agree but I think we should get out.”, he said.

“Well... it’s not a super anniversary type of thing but what if we went to Kramers? I’ve been trying to do a little more reading now that I’m very limited with what I _can_ do and I forgot how much I love it.”, she laughed. “We could go browse around there and get some new books and then have a little bite to eat at the cafe there.”, she said.

“I think that sounds perfect.”, he smiled softly, leaning in and giving her one more kiss before he pulled away and started the car, driving off. 

Once they got to the bookstore, they began browsing. After a while, they selected a few books and sat down outside on the patio at the cafe there. 

“So... if I got an omelet, would you split it with me? I already had the yogurt parfait and scones at home. But I’m still a little hungry. But not starving.”, Emily said.

“Just an omelet?”, Hotch asked.

“It comes with a lot. Spinach, swiss cheese, breakfast potatoes, toast, choice of meat...”, she said.

“Oh, yeah I’ll split that with you and do you want an iced tea?”, he asked, watching their server head towards them.

“Yeah.”, she said, placing their order a few seconds later.

Once the server walked away, she sat back in the chair a bit and closed her eyes with a smile on her face, resting her hands on her stomach. After enjoying a silent moment, just feeling the sun hitting her pale skin not too harshly and feeling the wind blow through her hair, she opened her eyes to find Hotch gazing at her.

“You’re so beautiful.”, he said, seemingly amazed by her with a soft smile on his face. He slightly shook his head but not in disagreement with himself, more of in disbelief and thinking there was no way someone could be that beautiful and it was so ridiculous that she was.

“You’ve told me quite a few times.”, she said.

“I know but I can’t stop telling you all the time. I can’t help it. You’re just so beautiful. It’s overwhelming.”, he said.

“Uh huh...”, she said, eyeing him.

“I’m not sucking up or about to tell you bad news. I just like reminding you as much as I can how beautiful you are. Is that so wrong?”, he asked.

“No, I guess not.”, she smiled, having their drinks being brought to them. “I really miss having coffee.”

“The doctor said you can have one cup a day.”, he said.

“Yeah, but I know I’ll want more and I want to be extra healthy and safe.”, she said.

“Suit yourself.”, he said, taking a sip of his own while she had some of her iced tea.

“So... what do you think of Amelia?”, she asked.

“I told you. I think she’s really great. I have a feeling she’ll really fit in and do some good work at the BAU.”, he said.

“I mean like personally and socially. Not professionally.”, she said.

“I’ve only known her for a day. _Less_ even. But she seems great from what I know about her so far from you and things she’s told me. She’s great at baking and she’s super easy to talk to. Also, Jack seems to have taken a liking to her. I don’t think he’s the only one though.”, he said.

“Oh?”, she said.

“You were sleeping but ever since earlier this morning, I’ve caught Sean checking her out and flirting with her.”, he said.

“ _Oh_. Really?”, she said.

“You didn’t notice this morning?”, he asked.

“Aaron, I was still like half asleep.”, she said.

“Well, pay attention when we get back. She seemed to be flirting back a bit too.”, he said.

“Good for them. They’re both single. Maybe something will happen.”, she said.

“That’d be kinda cool. One of your best friends and my brother. Although, if something went wrong that could be really awkward for us all.”, he said.

“They’ve known each other literally for less than a day. Let’s not jump to any conclusions. But... what kinds of things did you guys talk about?”, she asked.

“We went over everything for the interview and then I asked why she moved back and forth so much and she talked about how she went to Yale. And then she said her old college roommate worked at the BAU and had overlapped for a few years working at Interpol with her and I just knew at that point. I asked what her name was and she told me it was you. The funniest part was when she asked me if I knew you and then if we were close.”, he chuckled.

“Oh my god! What did you say?”, she laughed.

“I told her that I _do_ and that you’re my fiancé and she was _shocked_. It was hilarious. She said she’d heard so much about me except for the fact that I’m your boss but...”, he shrugged his shoulders. “And then she told me how great you have always been even since college. Best student, best agent, all that. And uh...”, he chuckled.

“What?”, she asked, concerned. “What did she say?”

“I was talking about how long you’ve been in my life and apparently she knew I worked for your mother...”, he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh god...”, she said.

“She said you told her about me back in college... how you talked about me... even mentioned something about a, and I quote, _“massive crush”_ that you had on me.”, he said, raising _both_ eyebrows.

“Oh my god...”, she said, looking down and covering her face with her hand, blushing.

“Why are you blushing?! I’m your _fiancé!_ You don’t have to be embarrassed.”, he chuckled.

“Oh my god...”, she said again under her breath.

“So it’s true? You had a _massive crush_ on me back then?”, he asked.

“I already told you before... I used to check you out and thought you were cute.”, she said.

“Actually, you told me you thought I was _hot_ . But there’s a difference between that and _massive crush._ ”, he said.

“ _Fine!_ I may have talked about you a little... a decent amount... a little more than a decent amount _but not a lot!_ I wasn’t obsessive or anything, it was just like the type of thing when lots of girls crush on the cutest guy in school, usually popular. And then if they come up to talk to you one day, you’re like freaking out because you can’t believe they’re really talking to you because they’re so cute and so cool. You were like that type of guy’s hotter, cooler older brother which makes girls fall all over him even more because he’s older. So, I was very into you, yes. But I also didn’t know you very well.”, she said.

“Oh my god.”, he hid his smile behind his hand over his mouth, holding back a laugh. “Did you ever write my name in hearts in your notebooks?”, he teased her.

“ _Only once!_ ”, she said.

“Wait, _seriously?!_ ”, he asked.

“I was in class and I wasn’t paying attention and someone walked in late wearing the same pair of sunglasses you wore back then. It made me think of you and my mind drifted...”, she said.

“ _Oh my god._ That is too cute.”, he smiled.

“You were an _FBI agent!_ Most girls my age would have been falling all over you. Besides, don’t act like you never checked me out. You even told me you did.”, she said.

“Yeah, I noticed you.”, he nodded. “Especially that one night your mother had like more than fifty people over for that one event and it was very classy. I remember you wore that one black dress. _Plain black_ with spaghetti straps and no cardigan or anything, just your bare shoulders showing. Very tight and form fitting, just stopping right above the knees, and you wore a pair of black heels I believe, that made you look so much taller obviously, so your legs...”, he raised his eyebrows. “But that... added on with the makeup and hair you styled, along with the silver necklace that had a small simple diamond... you looked _gorgeous_ . You literally took my breath away. I’m not kidding. I actually had to remember to breathe after a minute when I realized I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I was just in such awe of the very sight of you. You never showed a huge smile that night, almost as if you were shy or holding back, yet you acted so confident as you walked around and spoke to people. But _when_ I saw you smile for the first time... god... your adorable dimples really got me... I felt warm in my chest and couldn’t stop myself from grinning at that point.”

“How do you remember everything I wore? How do you remember _all_ of that? _I_ don’t even remember.”, she said.

“Because that was the very first time I ever saw you. I’ll have that image of you walking down the stairs to join everyone spread throughout the house, in my mind forever... It was almost like it happened in slow motion as I watched you so elegantly step into the crowd and grab a glass of champagne, fitting in with everyone else somehow.”, he said.

“Wow...”, she said.

“When I looked at you, I was amazed but I never would have imagined that I’d end up marrying you and having a baby with you.”, he chuckled.

“I saw you that night as well, here and there throughout the night. But you weren’t consistently downstairs.”, she said.

“I wasn’t one of her security staff members. I did _security clearance_ but she needed me to help with security for my first week or so since we hadn’t gotten new people yet for her staff.”, he said. 

“But you helped out with it a bit more. I mean, you were there for about a year or so.”, she said.

“That’s true. But she was constantly hiring new people and needed me not just for security issues.”, he said.

“I guess I never really paid attention to what you _did_ specifically. Just paid attention to _you_.”, she said, making him look down and smile shyly.

“Do you remember me introducing myself to you?”, he asked.

“Not gonna lie... I was kind of a lightweight because I never went out with friends in high school to any wild parties or drink a whole lot. So on a mainly empty stomach and a couple glasses of champagne... I would get a little tipsy. I was used to having the occasional drink with events like that though. But... I remember you and speaking to you for the first time, yes. But anything else that happened that night, I was so tired and ended up getting a little more drunk and it was years ago.”, she said.

“Well, I couldn’t tell you were tipsy. You acted very mature and polite and professional really. But yeah, I’ll have that night stuck in my memories forever. And in a good way.”, he said.

“I definitely didn’t think I’d end up marrying you or having your baby either.”, she laughed.

“Well, here we are.”, he smiled softly.

“Yeah... _Here we are_.”, she said, returning the same expression.

Right as they reached for each other’s hands across the table, their food arrived and was placed in front of them. They took their time eating, enjoying some time out, alone with each other. When the check came, Hotch pulled out some cash and left it, including a tip before they got up and walked around for a bit since the weather was so nice. But once Emily’s feet got tired, they decided to head home. 

When they parked out front, Hotch took her hand and stared at her. “ _I love you, Emily_.”, he said with so much meaning.

“I love you too.”, she smiled and squeezed his hand, placing her other one on his face and leaned over for a kiss.

“We’ll make a date night soon. Hopefully before the baby comes.”, he said.

“I mean, today was really nice too.”, she said.

“I know but I want you to know that just because our lives will be centered around the kids, doesn’t mean we’ll never get time for just the two of us. It might _be a while_ till that happens once Ali’s born but having just a little more time before that would be nice.”, he said.

“Okay.”, she nodded.

“ _Okay_.”, he said, kissing her hand and releasing it as he got out of the car. 

He met her on the other side and held her hand again as they walked up the stairs to the front door. Right as they stepped in, multiple people turned to her or popped out of nowhere and shouted, “Surprise!”

“Oh my god! What- what _is_ all of this? JJ!”, Emily shouted once she spotted her. She went straight to Emily and gave her the best hug she could with the bump being in the way.

“Surprise baby shower!”, JJ said.

“Awww.”, Emily said, bringing her hand to her mouth and tearing up.

“It’s not the most traditional one, seeing as how there's quite a few men here and it’s usually organized a little more but... mixed showers are becoming more popular now.”, JJ said.

“Aww. I love you. Thank you.”, Emily cried.

“Okay, honey, come on.”, Hotch chuckled, walking inside more.

“Did you know about this?”, Emily asked.

“I knew it was happening and that’s partially why we got out and had a chance to but I didn’t know any specifics and I didn’t help plan it at all.”, Hotch said.

“I know I said before I didn’t want one and then I found out you were planning one a few weeks ago and then that plan fell through so I honestly didn’t expect this to- oop. Sorry, I’ll be right back. Baby’s pressing on my bladder again... as always.”, Emily laughed, going in the bathroom.

When she came back out, she walked up to JJ while everyone else was talking with each other. 

“ _But...?_ ”, JJ said, asking her to continue what she was saying before she went in the bathroom.

“ _But_ ... this looks really nice. So, _thank you_.”, Emily said.

“You’re welcome. Now... I know you hate big things and only want these types of events to be close friends and family so... that’s who I invited. Will and Henry came with me and then I invited Spencer, Penelope, Derek who brought Kayla and Sophia to play with Jack and Henry. I invited Jace and his boyfriend but they couldn’t make it, _but_ they sent a gift. Same with Rossi, he has one of his ex-wives in town staying with him but I picked up his gift for you and he said he’ll make the rest up somehow. And then, Carson is with Jack and Henry and Sophia in the backyard while Sean and Amelia are in the kitchen.”, JJ said.

“Wow. Honestly... perfect list.”, Emily nodded.

“Good. And uh... I didn’t even know Amelia existed until I got here today.”, JJ whispered.

“Don’t be getting jealous now. She’s my oldest friend and she’s like a sister to me. But you’re also my best friend. It’s equal but also kind of different. Don’t make me get into this. Nothing has changed.”, Emily said.

“Alright, alright.”, JJ put her hands up, backing down. “Fair enough.”

“So, um... did you call my mother or father? Not that you had to, I’m just wondering.”, Emily said.

“Yeah, I uh... I did. Your father’s out of town right now but wishes he could be here and said he’ll give you a gift when he sees you next.”, JJ said.

“Oh, okay. That’s fine. What about my mother...?”, Emily asked.

“She um... never answered... I’m sorry.”, JJ said.

“No, no. It’s fine. I wouldn’t expect her to anyways. I don’t need her here to celebrate our family. It’s her choice if she wants to be a part of it or not.”, Emily said.

“ _I_ wanna be a part of it.”, Hotch said, coming up from behind her and holding her close, pressed against him. He wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands on her bump, and rested his chin on her shoulder before kissing her cheek. 

Emily giggled and crossed her arms grabbing onto his as he held her, leaning back into him slightly.

“You _are_ a part of it already, you dork. _You’re_ my _family_.”, Emily said.

“Always. No matter what happens.”, he whispered in her ear. 

She nodded her head and turned it to look at him, pressing their foreheads to each other’s. He kissed the side of her head and nuzzled his against it again.

After a minute, Emily went over to say _hi_ to everyone before walking out to the backyard to grab the kids and Carson for snacks and drinks. As they ran inside, Carson came up to Emily and gave her a big hug.

“Wow! _Look at you!_ ”, Carson said.

“What about me?”, Emily raised an eyebrow.

“You look _great_ for 34 weeks.”, Carson said.

“She looks great but her attitude _isn’t_ always.”, Hotch chuckled.

“This is my baby shower, Aaron. You really think right here, right now is the time to poke at that?”, Emily raised an eyebrow again.

“I’m sorry, hun. I’m kidding.”, Hotch laughed, giving her a kiss.

“I brought one of my cameras if you want me to get some nice portraits of you two.”, Carson said.

“Aw, that’d be nice.”, Emily said.

“Great. Oh and uh... I don’t know if this is awkward but... is your friend, Amelia, seeing anyone?”, Carson asked.

“Oh. Um... no. She’s not seeing anyone. She just moved back here and wasn’t in a relationship before that even so, she’s definitely single...”, Emily said.

“Would it be weird if I asked her out? I know she’s one of your closest friends and all so, I wouldn’t want to do anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with.”, Carson said.

“No. No, I don’t think so. You should totally ask her out if you want.”, Emily said.

“I know I just met her today but she’s so intriguing in many ways. I’d like to get to know more about her.”, Carson said.

“Go for it.”, Emily said.

“Yeah?”, Carson said.

“Yeah.”, Emily nodded.

“Alright, great. Thanks.”, Carson smiled and left them once he spotted some snacks and cupcakes and drinks at the dining room table.

“Damn... Sean _and_ Carson?”, Hotch said.

“This happens a lot with her. It’s beauty _and_ the brains.”, Emily said.

“It happened with _you too._ Me and Derek.”, Hotch chuckled.

“It’s flattering but can be really stressful after a while when you have to choose. Even though you were always the one I wanted.”, Emily smiled.

“I got so lucky.”, he said, putting his arm around her as they walked over to the food and drinks.

“Alright.”, JJ said, gathering everyone’s attention. “So, we set up a few games and activities. Almost all of them are fun for the kids as well. First one is _Make a Baby_. With this game, you get a little plate and some Play-Doh try to make a baby in 60 seconds but we can change it to two minutes if everyone wants. Emily gets to choose whose is best and yes, there will be prizes for everything before everyone leaves.”

“This is already so exciting!”, Penelope said.

“Next, we have _Guess the Baby Item._ Everyone gets a bag with some baby items in it like bottles or toys or diapers. Without looking, everyone feels around in their own bag and whoever can correctly guess the most amount of items, wins.”, JJ said.

“I don’t know anything about baby items.”, Emily said.

“It’s easier than you think.”, Hotch said.

“Some other activities are designing bibs, diapers, and onesies. You can use markers and sharpies for that, _or_ we have a tie dye station set up in the backyard if you wanna do that for the onesies. I also figured the kids might want to tie dye something for themselves so there’s some plain white t-shirts they can use to take home.”, JJ said.

“Wow.”, Emily said.

“I’m not done yet.”, JJ laughed. “There’s a baby bottle filled with jelly beans and everyone gets to guess how many there are in it. Another thing that’s fun is baby stats predictions, everyone guesses if it’s a boy or a girl, weight, day and time it’ll be born. I guess we already know you’re having a girl though but the other parts are fun.”

“What if she’s born on July 4th?”, Emily asked.

“Then she gets fireworks on her birthday every year.”, Hotch chuckled.

“No, I don’t want her to have to share her birthday with a holiday. Besides, she needs to stay in a little longer than that.”, Emily said.

“Babies are typically fine even when they’re born at 37 weeks. She’d be completely fine if she was born on the 4th or that week.”, Hotch said.

“I don’t care, she’s staying in until I say so.”, Emily said, rubbing her stomach.

“That’s not how it works, but okay, hun.”, Hotch laughed.

“And finally, my favorite things. The Mom or Dad quiz and the Guess Who for mom or dad. The guests fill those out and then Emily and Aaron answer them together and whoever gets the most right, wins. And something saved for just Emily and Aaron to fill out... the Mom vs Dad questions. They write down what they think the other one’s answers will be to the questions about who will be doing what after the baby comes. And that’s it. You said you want to open presents later on alone so we won’t include that with the activities.”, JJ said.

“Well, let’s get started!”, Derek said.

They set the snacks off to the side and handed out some play-doh to everyone. After a couple minutes, they all stopped and looked at the babies they made from it.

“I hope the baby we actually _did_ make will be a lot cuter than these.”, Emily laughed.

“She definitely will be.”, Hotch laughed.

“Emily. Pst.”, Spencer whispered, getting her attention. “I know mine is the best.”

“Mmmm...”, Emily said, looking all around at everyone else’s. “Sorry Spencer, but... Sophia, I think you win this game! You did such a good job, you’re so talented!”

“Thank you.”, Sophia smiled shyly.

“What about mine?”, Jack asked, holding his up to her face while sitting right next to her.

“Yours is really good too, buddy.”, she said, kissing his head. “I’m very impressed by it. And yours too, Henry. I love the smiley face you gave it.”, she pointed at his, making him grin and bounce up and down in his chair.

They moved onto the next game where they guessed the most baby items in their bag correctly. With that one, Kayla seemed to be the expert and won it. 

After that, they decided to have the kids fill out their guesses for the jellybeans in a baby bottle while everyone else filled out their own guesses for the quizzes. Emily and Hotch sat on the couch with Jack climbing on and off, running around with Henry and Sophia, eventually going upstairs to play in his room with them. Once they were done writing their guesses, everyone had scooted some chairs and bean bags around and grouped together, handing in their papers and had JJ read the questions, letting Hotch and Emily answer them together, and checking people’s guesses as she went along.

“Okay. These questions are a mix of things about _just you guys_ and some others that include the baby as well.”, JJ said to Emily and Hotch.

“Bring it on.”, Hotch said.

“Alright. First question is... _who made the first move?_ ”, JJ said.

“Definitely me. We both felt the same way for each other and acted more than friendly but I made the first move.”, Hotch said.

“ _Who is better in the kitchen?_ ”, JJ said.

“I gotta say Aaron because he cooks more _but_ my grilled cheese _is_ his favorite food.”, Emily said.

“ _Who is more stubborn?_ ”, JJ said.

“Oh my god! Emily for sure!”, Hotch cracked up, making everyone else laugh.

“Oh, I think it’s pretty equal! That’s a tie!”, Emily said.

“Honey, you’re definitely more stubborn than me. No doubt about it.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Next question.”, Emily said, ignoring him.

“ _Who is the first to admit they’re wrong?_ ”, JJ said.

“I think it’s probably me because _she’s more stubborn_ so she doesn’t like to admit she’s wrong all the time.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah, that’s kinda true.”, Emily said.

“ _Who said “I love you” first?_ ”, JJ said.

“ _Aaron_.”, Emily smiled, and looked over at him next to her, taking his hand. “And I said it back right after.”

“ _Who will spoil the baby the most?_ ”, JJ said.

“Oh god... I don’t know if I can answer that. We’re both already obsessed with her. Although, Aaron talks to her almost every night before bed and throughout the day. She’s definitely gonna be daddy’s little princess so... it might be Aaron but that makes me sound like a bad mom already.”, Emily laughed.

“ _Who wants more kids?_ ”, JJ said.

“We both do. But _I_ think about it more. She always says she might change her mind after seeing what childbirth is like.”, Hotch laughed.

“ _Who suspected the pregnancy first?_ ”, JJ said.

“Out of the two of us, it was me. But Sean was actually the first person at all to suspect it.”, Emily laughed again.

“And last one... _who will panic the most about the baby?_ ”, JJ said.

“Emily. She already does. The first time the baby kicked, she started crying and had me run over to her because she thought something was wrong until I felt it and told her she was fine and that that was the baby kicking.”, Hotch chuckled.

“Okay, but that was really scary at first!”, Emily said.

“I know. I can only imagine. I’m sorry.”, Hotch said, rubbing her hand.

“Alright, well... it looks like Sean got all of them right.”, JJ said.

“Makes sense. He lives with us.”, Hotch said.

“In second place it was Amelia. Wow.”, JJ said.

“I only met Aaron yesterday but Emily has told me so much about him and their relationship and I’ve known her for over 20 years. But I’m still surprised I got most right.”, Amelia said.

“After that was Penelope, Kayla, Carson, Spencer and Derek all tied. But you guys still did really well.”, JJ said.

“Okay, but Emily and Hotch are very similar! You saw! They even argued about a lot of them, saying it was equal.”, Penelope said.

“That’s true. So we’re all winners then.”, JJ laughed. “Okay, now it’s time to read the ones _you_ _guys_ guessed about _each other._ See if you really know what the other one thinks and what _their_ answer is.”, she said to Emily and Hotch as they picked up their papers.

“First one... _who will change more diapers?_ ”, JJ said.

“Aaron.”, Emily said and JJ looked at him to confirm that’s what his answer was, doing that every time. 

“ _Who will be the more patient parent?_ ”, JJ said.

“Me.”, Hotch said and Emily nodded.

“ _Who will be more nervous during labor and delivery?_ ”, JJ said.

“Aaron.”, Emily laughed. “Even though I’ll be freaking out because _I’ll_ be the one giving birth, he’s convinced he’ll be more nervous.”

“Yeah. What can I say? You’re the love of my life and that’s our baby. I worry about both of you all the time. All day everyday.”, Hotch said as Emily put her hand on his face.

“Aw, sweetie.”, Emily said, letting JJ continue right after, lowering her hand from Hotch’s face to his shoulder.

“ _Who will the baby look like more?_ ”, JJ said.

“Me.”, Emily said.

“Yep.”, Hotch smiled.

“ _Who will get up with the baby more in the middle of the night?_ ”, JJ said.

“ _Both of us. If I have to suffer, he has to suffer_. I’m guessing that’s what she wrote.”, Hotch said.

“That’s exactly what I wrote.”, Emily laughed.

“Wow. How sweet.”, JJ said sarcastically and laughed. “ _Who will be ready to go on a date night without the baby first?_ ”

“Aaron.”, Emily said.

“Yeah.”, Hotch said.

“Okay, now, these are longer answers. First one... _What’s one good and one bad thing that Aaron thinks the baby will get from you?_ ”, JJ said.

“I know he thinks she’ll be just as stubborn as me and just as passionate as I am about everything.”, Emily said.

“That’s correct, but also your drive to succeed.”, Hotch said.

“Kind of falls in line with being passionate about everything but yeah.”, Emily said.

“ _What does Emily want the baby’s first word to be?_ ”, JJ asked.

“ _Daddy_ . After the typical _Mama_ and _Dada_ babbling. She wants her first real word to be _Daddy_.”, Hotch said.

“Yeah.”, Emily smiled shyly.

“ _What is Aaron looking forward to the most once the baby comes?_ ”, JJ said.

“Everything. Being able to do everything since he’ll be a stay at home dad. But if he wrote something else, my other guess would be... spoiling her.”, Emily said.

“I said it would be to spoil her because I’ll be a stay at home dad.”, Hotch said.

“I’m so good at this.”, Emily laughed.

“ _Who will Emily go to when you guys need parenting advice?_ ”, JJ said.

“You.”, Hotch said to JJ.

“Duh. Obvious choice.”, Emily said.

“Awww. You can always come to me. I may not always have the answers but you can always come to me.”, JJ said. “Okay... _How will Aaron get the baby to go back to sleep in the middle of the night without your help?_ ”

“Um... I honestly didn’t know for sure on this one. I said he would rock her, feed her, read her a bedtime story maybe?”, Emily said.

“Of course I would try those things first but if they didn’t work, I’d get out the guitar and try to sing her to sleep with a quiet song. And if that didn’t help, I’d probably call you if you’re out of town or wake you if you’re asleep.”, Hotch chuckled.

“You’d want to play the guitar and sing her lullabies?”, Emily said, getting choked up. She placed her hand on her chest, rolling her lips in, obviously touched by what he said, and imagining him singing to their baby by her crib.

“Yeah. I’m excited to be able to bring music into her life and maybe teach her an instrument when she’s old enough.”, Hotch said.

“I would not have thought of that. But I love it.”, Emily smiled.

“Last one... _What is Emily looking forward to the most once the baby comes?_ ”, JJ said.

“Other than not having to be pregnant anymore, which she complains about all the time...”, Hotch chuckled, “... I’d say... it’s being able to dress her in cute outfits, cuddle her, and show off how she’s cuter than all the other babies wherever she goes.”

“I wrote all those things down... except for the not being pregnant anymore part.”, Emily said.

“That was impressive, you guys. I don’t think Will and I could even get all those right.”, JJ laughed before looking at him and apologized.

“He’s my best friend. No offense to everyone else but...”, Emily said, looking down at his hand and took it, bringing her head back up and staring in his eyes. “... you’re my partner. With _everything_. We just know each other so well. We’re so connected.”

“Look at you guys! Ugh! I can’t believe you’re making us wait so long for the wedding!”, Penelope said.

“Sorry.”, Hotch chuckled.

“This baby better be worth making us wait.”, Penelope said.

“So many people keep saying that.”, Emily laughed. “We’ll gladly have you come over and babysit. As much as you want.”

“Alright, fine.”, Penelope said.

“Shall we decorate some onesies and diapers and bibs now? I got some funny ideas.”, Carson said.

“Sure.”, JJ said.

Everyone got up and grabbed some of the materials and got to work, some people going in and out to the backyard to make some tie dyed onesies. While Emily made a blue and yellow one, Hotch made a _purple_ and yellow one.

“Lakers vs. Warriors?”, Derek asked when he saw them.

“Duh.”, Emily said.

“We’ll let Ali decide which one she likes more.”, Hotch said.

“Oh my god.”, Emily rolled her eyes and walked back inside, Hotch following behind. They spent time with some of the others, writing funny messages on some diapers.

“Isn’t it mommy’s turn?”, Hotch said, holding up one he’d just done.

Emily gasped and held up one she had just finished as well. “Isn’t it daddy’s turn?”, Emily said, raising an eyebrow and began reading out loud what they were writing on each diaper.

“Okay, you guys are way too similar.”, Amelia laughed.

“Caution! Open at your own risk.”, Hotch said, showing off another.

“Fully loaded.”, Emily said, showing him.

“Code brown.”, Hotch said, using a brown marker.

“Surprise!”, Emily said, drawing a heart underneath it.

“3am party in my crib... be there.”, Hotch chuckled.

“I don’t smell anything...”, Emily said.

“Cute but stinky.”, Hotch said.

“I have a big present for you, daddy!”, Emily giggled.

“This one is for you, mommy!”, Hotch said.

“Daddy, this is the front.”, Emily said.

“Ohhhh, I see.”, Hotch said, setting his marker down right as he had begun to draw silly doodles on the next one.

“Lighten up! These are late night diapers. We need a little humor at least when we’re up at 3am changing dirty diapers.”, Emily said.

“Look at this.”, he chuckled, showing her the one he had doodled on, making Jack try to copy his when he grabbed one himself. 

Once they had finished a decent amount, they ate a few more snacks and took a break. Hotch kept bringing Emily more water, making sure she was staying hydrated and grabbed anything she needed once she started to feel a bit tired. 

After chatting with each other and finishing all the games and activities, everyone eventually started to head out. Emily couldn’t deny she was somewhat grateful for that because all she wanted to do was get in bed and rest until dinner time and then go to sleep right after.

Before Carson left and while it was still light out, he grabbed his camera and rushed over to Emily and Hotch.

“It’s perfect lighting out right now. Let’s get some pictures, yeah?”, Carson asked excited and held up his camera.

“Sure.”, Hotch said.

“Let’s get some with Jack first and then just some of mommy and daddy.”, Carson said.

“Hey, Jack!”, Emily called for him upstairs.

“Yeah?!”, Jack shouted, running down the stairs.

“Uncle Carson wants to take some pictures of us as a family out in the backyard right now.”, Emily said.

“Okay.”, Jack said, running outside.

“Do you guys have any cute little outfits for the baby yet that you could maybe hold up in the pictures?”, Carson asked.

“Yeah, we have a few but none that really-“, Hotch started.

“Oh! Penelope gave us that pink onesie last week that says, _“Daddy’s girl, Mommy’s world.”_ with the matching pink booties.”, Emily said.

“Ohhhh, the ones that you cried about at work when she gave them to us?”, Hotch asked.

“Must you always make fun of me for crying about these things?”, Emily said.

“I’ll go get them.”, Hotch chuckled.

When he came back down, Emily and Carson had joined Jack outside while JJ, Sean, and Amelia continued cleaning up.

Carson took pictures of them standing with Jack, some sitting, some of him holding the booties while they held the onesie, and some of them alone once Jack went back inside. 

They took a lot of sweet and cute pictures and some where Carson could just feel the love between them by looking at it. For one of them, they were posing with Hotch’s hand on Emily’s bump while she held onto his arm. They pressed their foreheads to each other’s and completely forgot about everything else after a few seconds and kissed. Carson snapped a shot, feeling proud he caught a real moment of true emotion instead of something where they were just posing and pretending to smile for the camera.

After he captured more than enough photos, he got a few on Hotch’s phone for him and promised to have them over soon to go through their favorites to have prints made. Once Hotch approved of the pictures on his phone and set one as his screensaver, Carson packed his stuff up before saying _goodbye_ and headed out.

Hotch immediately sent Emily pictures from his phone, making her smile as she _also_ set one as her screensaver.

After that, Emily grabbed the jar with all the baby stats predictions in them and went upstairs. She set it on her night table and went back down to the living room and dining room. She tried to help JJ and the others clean up but they refused. When she tried to go for the gifts to bring them upstairs, Hotch took one out of her hand and sat her down on the couch.

“Honey, you’ve been busy doing stuff all day. You need to rest. I’ll bring those up, okay? And here.”, Hotch said, bending down and helping take her shoes off for her.

“Thank you.”, she sighed, stretching her legs out on the couch. Without even thinking about it, she closed her eyes and let her mind and body relax. A couple hours later, she was woken up by Hotch and noticed a blanket draped over her.

“I _knew_ you were tired.”, Hotch said, leaning down to kiss her head before helping her sit up.

“Mmm.”, Emily grumbled, struggling to open her eyes all the way. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 7:30.”, Hotch said.

“Oh my god, seriously?”, Emily asked.

“Yeah.”, he chuckled, watching her yawn and try to stand. He helped her up and put his arm around her side, walking into the kitchen.

“Hey, you rest well?”, JJ asked.

“I guess so. I’m still exhausted and I could honestly go for some dinner and sleep right after.”, Emily said, leaning into Hotch.

“Well, we just finished cleaning everything up. All the gifts are upstairs in your room so you guys can open them whenever. I’m leaving the cupcakes here and all the onesies and bibs are put away in the baby’s dresser drawers. The late night diapers are in one of the drawers of that as well and I’m sure you will have quite a few things to add in after you open the gifts. Oh and by the way, Jack guessed almost the exact amount of jellybeans in the baby bottle. He was the closest so he won but offered to split it equally with Henry and Sophia. It was so cute.”, JJ said.

“I hope he’s not eating any right now. His bedtime is soon.”, Emily said.

“We put them away already. We’re having dinner in just a few.”, Hotch said.

“What's for dinner?”, Emily asked.

“I was gonna make a French onion soup but I’m thinking I’ll do that tomorrow night since today was so crazy.”, Sean said.

“We decided on macaroni and cheese with some breadcrumbs and extra cheese as a topping. Does that sound alright?”, Amelia asked.

“Yeah, it sounds great.”, Emily said, putting her hand on Hotch’s chest as she leaned in more, still sleepy.

“Good, because it’s almost ready.”, Sean said.

They had JJ stay for dinner and tucked Jack in after she left, making sure he got a bath first since he was so dirty from the tie dye. After he was tucked in, Emily went downstairs to say _goodnight_ to Sean and Amelia. Emily waited until he walked out to his studio before she went up to Amelia, wiping down the kitchen counters.

“You really don’t have to do that. We can clean more in the morning.”, Emily said.

“But I want to.”, Amelia said.

“Alright.”, Emily said.

“What?”, Amelia asked.

“What what?”, Emily said.

“I know you, Emily. Something’s on your mind. What is it?”, Amelia asked and Emily sighed.

“Did Carson talk to you at all today?”, Emily asked.

“If you’re wondering about him asking me out, then yes. He did.”, Amelia said.

“What’d you say?”, Emily asked.

“I said _yes_. That’s alright with you, isn’t it?”, Amelia asked.

“Oh my god, totally! Yes. Carson is a really great guy and you two seemed like you’d hit it off.”, Emily said.

“Okay, great.”, Amelia smiled.

“Um... also... it seemed like Sean was maybe flirting earlier too? I’m just... wondering if maybe he asked you out as well or anything.”, Emily said.

“Well, he was flirting but then later in the day he offered to show me around the city a bit when we were talking about how I haven’t seen much here. I asked him if he was asking me out and he said he was _going to_ but realized he didn’t think it would be a great idea. Since I’m staying with you guys and all and you’re one of my best friends and soon my coworker and he’s Aaron’s brother and lives here so he’s around all the time. It just might be too messy. So, I think we might still go out but not on a date.”, Amelia said.

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense. Well, I’m glad you and Carson are gonna go out. When is that?”, Emily asked.

“We haven’t decided on a day or night yet but maybe next weekend.”, Amelia said.

“Nice.”, Emily smiled. “That’s exciting.”

“He’s really cute.”, Amelia giggled.

“He is. When I first met him, he checked me out right away and was totally flirting with me until Aaron cut in and introduced me as his girlfriend. Carson completely backed off immediately. That was also the first time Aaron called me his girlfriend. It was a great night. It was our first official date as a couple.”, Emily said.

“You guys are so cute together. I mean, it’s truly adorable. It’s very obvious how much he loves you. And he seems to treat you really well.”, Amelia said.

“Yeah.”, Emily smiled shyly, looking down and played with her necklace.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna go to bed in a minute and let you get some rest.”, Amelia said. 

“Okay. I love you.”, Emily said, giving her a hug. “Thank you for everything you helped out with today.”

“My pleasure. Sleep well.”, Amelia smiled, continuing to wipe the last few spots on the counter.

“You too.”, Emily said, walking upstairs. 

She found Hotch changing in their room when she walked in and did the same. Once they were in their pajamas, they got in bed and sat up against the headboard. They looked over at each other and smiled at the same time.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, she asked.

“I _think_ so.”, he chuckled, getting up and grabbing a few gifts, laying them on the bed in between them.

“Oh my god, I’m so excited!”, she clapped.

“Let’s just do a few tonight and then the rest tomorrow because we really _do_ need to sleep.”, he said, watching her carefully take the wrapping paper off, revealing the gift.

“Breast pumps.”, she nodded. 

“Okay, it’s not an _exciting_ one but those are really good to have and typically pretty expensive.”, he said. 

“No! I’m glad! I just wasn’t expecting to open that first. I wanted something cute like pacifiers or little booties. But this is very useful. I’m so glad we don’t have to buy one ourselves.”, she said.

“Okay, can I open the next one?”, he asked.

“Go for it.”, she said as he pulled out a couple onesies from a bag.

“Oh. My. God.”, he said.

“This is too cute. Oh my god!”, she said.

“Where did they even find this?!”, he said, looking at the onesie that said, _“Agent in training”_ with the FBI logo below it.

“There’s another.”, she said as he held it up. 

“Oh my god! No way! One of them had to have had this made special.”, he said, taking a picture of the second onesie that said, _“BAU”_ at the top and _“Baby Agents Unit”_ below it with the FBI logo underneath.

“Okay, I don’t know how anything could beat those.”, she said, grabbing another bag and pulling out a duck baby hooded towel. “Ohhhh. Aaron, look. The duck’s head is the hood!”, she said, tearing up.

“That is. Too. Freaking. Cute. Jack had one just like this.”, he said.

“Oh my god.”, she said, finally crying. “There’s a brown bear one too and a polar bear one and- oh my god.”, she began sobbing. “This one is a pink bunny! Look at the big ears!”

“Okay, maybe we should just do all of these tomorrow.”, he said.

“It’s so cute!”, she continued sobbing.

“ _Okay... it’s okay._ ”, he hushed her and put his arm around her.

“Give me another one.”, she sniffled, after taking a minute to calm down and reached out for a gift.

“Let’s just finish tomorrow.”, he said.

“No! Hand me another gift. I’m good. I’m fine. I swear.”, she said.

“Okay.”, he flinched when she snapped. He reached down the bed more and handed her another. She was unwrapping it carefully again and started crying when she saw it was bathtub toys small enough to use in a baby bathtub. 

“Look at the...”, she cried, speaking incoherently yet he still understood her.

“Honey, I know. The rubber duckies are adorable but I really think we should call it a night now. You’re getting really emotional which you’re allowed but I think you’re also tired. So... let’s just go to sleep...”, he said carefully so she didn’t snap again and slowly grabbed the gifts they’d opened. He got out of bed and set them with the rest of unopened ones next to the crib. While she calmed down again, he helped adjust her body pillow better as she laid down facing him.

“Those were all so cute.”, she said, staring in his eyes once he got horizontal.

“We’ll open the rest tomorrow. And take a look at the baby stats predictions. I promise. I just-“, he started.

“I’m gonna cry no matter how exhausted and drained I am. I just... won’t cry _as much or as hard_ tomorrow.”, she said.

“I know, hun.”, he chuckled. “Everything makes you cry right now.”

“ _Stop making fun of me!_ ”, she said, rolling her lips in, not wanting him to see that she was already tearing up again.

“Babe, I’m not. I’m sorry. You’re just so cute and sweet and sensitive right now and- I’m sorry, hun. I love you. Please don’t be mad at me. Because you cry when you get mad too and I hate seeing that.”, he said.

“Fine. And I guess I love you too.”, she said, making him laugh and give her a kiss.

He scooted down more and reached over, placing his hand on her bump moving his head closer to it. 

“Hey, sweetie.”, he said in his baby voice, rubbing her stomach. “You got a whole lot of gifts today. Cute onesies, some cute towels, some cute toys for the bathtub. We’re gonna open some more tomorrow because your mommy won’t stop crying every time she opens one.”, he laughed. “You know what we did today? We decorated some onesies for you and I made you one with purple and yellow. Those are the team colors for the best basketball team ever. The Lakers. Your mommy might say The Warriors are better but don’t listen to her. When you’re Jack’s age, I’ll take you to a Lakers game and you’ll see. You’re gonna be tall just like me and your mommy, so you might be really good at basketball yourself if you ever wanna play.”

“Stop telling our daughter lies about me.”, she said.

“I’m _not_.”, he said. “I can’t wait till we can actually see your face and hold you and kiss you and cuddle you. I just imagine what your laugh is gonna sound like and what your smile is gonna look like. I know you’re already the cutest baby ever. Other than your brother when he was a baby. But no matter what, you just stay in there until it’s time for you to come out, okay? We don’t want any surprises, alright? You still have a few more weeks till it’s safe.”

“Ali, is your daddy a goofball? Does he think that you’re really gonna listen to him? I know you’re just as stubborn as me already. You’re gonna come out whenever you decide to. But it _would_ be nice if you’d wait at least three weeks. Preferably a little more but no one can tell you what to do. Although, I _am_ your mommy so that’s just what we do and you should try and listen to me as much as you can, alright?”, she said.

“She’s not kicking.”, he sighed.

“Maybe she’s sleeping.”, she giggled.

“I haven’t gotten to feel her kick at all today.”, he said.

“She was earlier this morning when you woke me up. She just stopped right before you could feel.”, she said.

“Not fair.”, he sighed and scooted closer, wrapping his arm over her side and placing his other hand on her stomach. He rested his head against her stomach above her bump, holding on to her close and leaning in. He lowered his face and spoke closer. “Ali, it’s your daddy. Can you give me a kick or a high five?”, he said, rubbing her stomach. “Aw come on.”, he pouted, making Emily laugh and stroke his hair. “Not even a little-“, he stopped when she finally kicked once and he grinned.

“There. Happy?”, she said.

“Yes, I actually am.”, he said. “Okay, that was all. You can go back to sleep now.”, he said, kissing her stomach.

“Are you one of those parents that will see your baby sleeping and think they’re just so cute you wanna hold them so you decide to wake them up just so you _can_ even though you know it’s probably one of the only times for months you’ll have where they’re sleeping for a while peacefully and then it’ll be close to impossible to get them back down?”, she asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”, he lied.

“Great... ah, I need help up. I have to pee.”, she said.

“Alright. You can do this.”, he chuckled, helping her sit up and took her hands as she got out of bed. 

When she came out and got back in bed, she made herself comfortable and reached her hand out for his. He held it tight and pulled himself in closer, giving her a kiss.

“I love you, you goofball.”, she grinned.

“I love you too, hun.”, he smiled.

* * *

**i really love writing pregnant emily because i think it's so cute the way that her and hotch are with each other and it's been fun adding a new side of her and building on her character development and their relationship overall.**

**so please leave reviews, let me know what you think and thank you :)**   
  



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